Evergreen (music video stills)

This winter, I was so honored to be a part of Matt Hartke's Evergreen music video, shot by the lovely Max Marshall.  ✨

The music artist, Matt, reached out to me, and told me that he initially had not planned to have anyone else in the music video, but when he was scrolling through Max's photography, he saw me and knew I had to be in it. 

I am noticing lately that I am both desiring to embrace my own personal magnetism, and at the same time, am scared to own it, to speak it aloud. Even as I typed the previous anecdote, I had doubt riddling my mind—"it's just a projection, he doesn't even know me", "this makes me sound conceited", "who knows how true that story he told even is". The flood of doubt comes to wash away all the confidence and power that I experience from the reflection of my own magnetism and vibrationally unique self. Upon reflection, this definitely comes from a place of being scared to fully stand in my power (a familiar hole that I have had to work/continue to work very hard to climb out of.) I love Janne Robinson's quote from I Am a Woman of Distinction:

"I walk with my head held high when I walk into a room because I know there is space for me in this world — however I may come." 

I love this quote because it reminds me to stand tall, to take up space, to embody the sensual, weird, quietly intense being that I am. Along with avoiding owning my power lately, I have also been avoiding self-narratives. Because I have been observing for a while now how toxic both of these things can be. I see people use both their power and their self-narratives to manipulate; to create blind spots, control the narrative/gaslight, and take advantage of others. I am breathing deep now knowing that those people are not me, and I am not them. I can use my own strength of soul and being for good, to bring in a new paradigm that creates a culture of more self-expression, more personal liberation, more collaboration, and more progressive, open, and interesting ways to live and love. 

Oooo, I am going to challenge myself. For my next post, I am going to write a self-narrative and see how that feels. 

Until next time sweet patrons  ✨ I hope you are all living fully alive.