Preliminary donkey findings
Added 2025-04-01 04:37:44 +0000 UTC"So, I've got a minor update. Try to stay calm...like they said, they're doing tests to find out what the hell's happening to us. They're not...I mean, this is kind of a unique circumstance, so they don't have much to go on. Their preliminary findings are...we're donkeys. I know, I was pissed too when I heard that, but it's all they've been able to get from our blood and tissue samples so far. Genetically, we're donkeys...we're still mostly human-shaped, but who knows how long that'll last. Everything about us at the DNA level says we belong in a field munching grass and swatting away flies with our tails. It sounds like they genuinely want to help us, to stop things from progressing that far, rather than to just sit back and watch us devolve in the name of science...it's not like we have much say in the matter either way, we just have to trust that they're doing their best. I need you to stay strong, to help me stay strong..."
