Office Perks- Chapter 4

Tatianna and Brian made their way to the elevator, heading first to the second floor because she’d already explored the lobby. 

“I love this floor, this is the spa floor,” said Brian, leading her through hallways filled with glass walled rooms in which she saw yoga equipment, pilates studios, nail salons, hair salons, and even a chiropractor. Bored looking employees sat inside each exposed storefront, laboriously tapping their phones or taking uninterested sips from the coffee cups in front of them. 

“All the amenities in the building are staffed during business hours, those are really the only people who ever come here, “explained Brian as they traversed the halls, making a circle that landed them right back at the elevator they’d just exited. “We’ve got security and the coffee shop downstairs, the spas on this floor, the gyms on the third, and then, the crown jewel." he said, pressing the button for the 4th floor. 

“Why’d you skip three?” Tatianna asked.

“It’s just the gym,” replied Brian. “Who wants to tour a gym when you can tour all this?” He spread his arms grandly as if he were a magician revealing his show stopping trick, and they both laughed when the doors failed to open for another five seconds. 

“All this,” Brian repeated as the ding heralded the doors opening, revealing the building's cafeteria.

It was somehow even more vast than she remembered and, much to her surprise, she felt her stomach begin to growl quietly despite her earlier feast. She could hardly be blamed. Her first time visiting the cafeteria had been with her tour group who had come in through the imposing double doors on her left. The elevator entrance however, put them smack in the center of the action, and the aroma was knee-tremblingly intoxicating. The rich scents leaching from each restaurant's kitchen and mingling in the open air were enough to make her salivate, and gleaming row after row of buffet tables laden with every kind of food she could think of surrounded her. 

There was too much to see. Her eyes fell on a nearby Asian fusion restaurant serving glistening piles of orange chicken next to lo mein noodles slick with a glossy sauce, then the pepperoni laden deep dish pizzas situated next to garlic knots and an entire crock pot filled with garlic butter, then to the triple patty burgers nearly bulging out of their paper sleeves, dripping with melted cheese and bacon. She turned to see a dessert station directly behind her, and felt her jaw drop as she surveyed its wares. Brownies the size of her head with perfectly formed dollops of whipped cream, pyramid stacks of donuts with every topping and filling imaginable, tray of flan, cannoli, and churros, a freezer drawer filled with gallon drums of ice cream, cakes in every flavor she could name and some that she couldn’t. 

“Right?” said Brian, snapping her from her mental revelry. “They have everything, the chefs are world class, and it’s all free. I just can’t believe no one ever uses it.”

“No one uses it?” She asked absently, her eyes still darting about as she took in the options.  

“No one’s here,” Brian reminded her. 

“Right right, no it’s…oh my god, look!”

Brian turned, then laughed. “The potato station always gets people.”

Tatianna marveled. A whole restaurant just for alternative preparations of potatoes. They had curly fries, crinkle cut, steak fries, mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, waffle fries, wedges, and more, and frankly she wanted them all. She hadn’t made choices for herself in so long, dedicated as she'd been to making choices for her career. Now, she had a smorgasbord of options and she had no idea how she’d pick.  

“I’m hungry,” Brian said. “Are you?” She nods, despite the fact she technically shouldn’t be. Those pastries and coffee were just sugar. She thinks. It’s not real food, it doesn’t keep you full for long. If I’m really going to get my efforts worth, I need a real meal. 

“Let’s split up,” Brian continued, oblivious to the fact she’d put away over 1500 calories in baked goods just a few hours ago. “You get what you want, I’ll get what I want, then we meet back here.”

“Ok,” she says, the pressure of narrowing down a choice setting upon her. 

“The trays and plates for the buffet are there, the drink stations around that corner, and at all the restaurants just order like normal, got it?”

Tatianna nodded and started towards the plates. 

“Oh, and Tatianna,” Brian called out suddenly somber. “There is one real precaution I have to give you.” She turned back, the abrupt graveness to his tone starling her. His face had fallen serious and all traces of his trademark lighthearted grin were gone. “You have to make sure you listen to me, because this could save your life.”

“What?” she said nervously, taking a step back towards him. 

“Don’t get lost in the crowd,” he said, his face breaking back into the grin. 

She rolled her eyes, holding back a chuckle. “I’ll do my very best.”

The two loaded their trays with their chosen meals and selected a table, with Brian going for one of the bacon cheeseburgers that originally caught Tatianna’s eye while she opted for a 5 cheese chicken alfredo pasta. Just like at the cafe, each meal came with pre-set sides, and Brian’s mountain of fries and basket of onion rings barely fit onto the tray alongside his large coke and chocolate milkshake. Squeezed onto Tatianna’s tray was her bowl of pasta, 3 breadsticks, what looked like a small calzone, 2 pieces of cheese garlic bread, and vanilla sparkling fruit punch she’d concocted from the fancy syrups and touch screen coke dispensers at the drink station. 

They tucked into their food immediately, Tatianna noticing with relief that Brian was way too occupied with devouring his own meal to see how quickly she was bringing forkful after forkful to her mouth. Every new dish seemed like the best she’d ever had, and she almost moaned with pleasure when she bit into the garlic bread heavy with a layer of perfectly toasted cheese. She gulped her drink eagerly between oversized bites, the carbonation accelerating the pressing fullness in her stomach. At this point she’d eaten half the enormous meal and leaned back to sneakily rub her overfilled stomach, keeping an eye on Brian to make sure he stayed engrossed in his triple bacon cheeseburger. She wasn’t sure what it was about this food that made her so ravenous, but at least she didn’t seem to be the only one it was affecting. Brian was shoving fries into his mouth by the handful between bites of burgers, and nothing but the sound of contented chewing filled the air. 

When they’d both cleared the majority of their plates Brian leaned back and sighed, unabashedly resting his hands on his middle as he stretched and settled into the ample, solid wooden chair. 

“I never get to eat here,” Brian remarked contentedly, patting his stomach. He had a near blissful expression on his face, and reached over to casually pick at his fries as he spoke. “I never get to come in, my girlfriend…” he paused, stifling a burp into his fist before continuing. “...my girlfriend is all too aware of the setup here, so I can’t just hang out unless I actually have a reason to be at work. And I never have a reason to be at work.”

Tatianna nodded, her mouth crammed with noodles. Brian may have slowed down but she hadn’t, and the last of her drippingly decadent alfredo sauce was being soaked up by her remaining garlic bread as he spoke. She couldn't believe how tightly her stomach was packed, and her breathing felt almost labored as she brought the last few bites to her mouth. It was like the rich, buttery food made her lose all logic, all common sense. She was achingly full and felt bloated to the point of bursting but she just couldn't stop until her plate was clean. She reached down to rub her stomach again, shocked to feel its small bulge even more swollen than this morning. She didn't even know it was possible to be that full. As Brian chattered on she zoned out, her vision nearly blurring fullness. She forced the last bite of the greasy calzone in her mouth and chewed laboriously, savoring the warm, still melted cheese and abundance of meaty, spicy pepperoni pieces and slices crammed within. 

She swallowed, then dropped her hand beneath the table to her stomach once more, rubbing gentle circles on her impossibly bloated little belly. I don't even think I could stand right now. She thought, marveling at the way her typically flat stomach pressed into her hand. I don't think I can move. 

She leaned back slowly, careful to not jostle the overpopulated contents of her stomach as she settled into the wide armed chair. Brian was still meandering through his story, completely unaware of what was hiding beneath Tatianna’s billowing button up. 

…I mean, just recently,” he was saying as his words came back into focus. And she gets mad at me for it, but I forget! It's a big change, right? Calling someone an entirely different title?” He pauses to chew another fry and Tatianna’s mind races as she searches for the appropriate response, guilty that she'd been ignoring him. 

“Right,” she agrees. 

“Plus it's not like I didn't spend enough on the ring, it cost an arm and a leg and basically all the other parts. Obviously I wanted this, so why get mad at a slip of the tongue? It feels crazy.”

His fiance, he was talking about his fiance. She realizes he must've accidentally referred to his fiance as his girlfriend, a mistake that she guesses had landed him in hot water at home.

Tatianna nodded, caught up. “What's her name?”

He rolled his eyes. “Elizabell,” He muttered. “Elizabeth?” Tatianna questioned with a head tilt, assuming she’d heard incorrectly. “Elizabell,” Brian repeated louder. “Her name is Elizabell.” “Well that’s pretty,” cooed Tatianna gently, sensing a deeper story. “That's unique.” 

“Yeaaa,” said Brian, drawing out the word. “Unique.”

Tatianna surprised herself by scoffing aloud, noting with interest the level of familiarity and comfort she felt. It was like she and Brian were old friends slipping back into a long established banter. 

“It’s her name, how can you not like her name?” she asks with a laugh.

“That’s just it, it's not her name!” exploded Brian passionately, the laugh building behind his eyes. “C’mon, Elizabell? It's not anybody’s name, it's the name of a friendly fairy in a children's story!”

Tatianna laughed, lightly wincing as the laughter's contraction reminded her of how many greasy carbs she’d just put away. 

“Her real name is Jennifer, but it's not even that she doesn't go by her real name. It's that she changed her name about 7 months ago and goes ballistic anytime when anyone messes it up. Jennifer to Elizabell? It's a pretty steep learning curve.”

“Why’d she change her name?”

Brian looked away for a flash then met her eyes again, his expression falling slightly. He grinned despite it, emphasizing the well trod laugh lines around his mouth and eyes on otherwise youthful skin. “I’m not sure exactly. I mean I know what she says, but I don't know what actually…” he stops. “She’s changed a lot of stuff lately.” There’s a beat of silence. “I’ve known her for a really long time.”

“Where did you meet?” Tatianna asked, intrigued about the apparent mystery behind Elizabell but still secondarily focused on easing the pain in her swollen tummy with gentle, circular rubs just out of Brian's sight. 

“We met in college. Our freshman year actually, we were in the same group project in our World histories seminar and we just… clicked.” Nostalgia crept into his voice as he spoke, and he looked off into the distance dreamily as he described his first impressions of his soon to be wife. 

“Right away she was so clever and so funny and so, just… everything. She was everything to me right away, everything I was looking for in a friend and everything I was looking for in a partner. Even though I didn't know it yet,” he added with a playfully conspiratorial grin. “She’s the smart one, a genius, but the first time I looked at her I couldn't think about anything except how beautiful she was.” His voice was wistful. “I wish I still had the photos.”

“What happened to them?” Tatianna breathed immediately without thinking, too engrossed in unraveling the tale to remember she'd met Brian just that morning and the answer was decidedly none of her business. 

“They're gone,” replied Brian. “She got rid of them. She said they represented the past, that she hates them now. She scrubbed all her old pictures from everywhere, the cloud, facebook, you can’t even find an archival myspace page from middle school.” 

“But why?” questioned Tatianna on the edge of her seat, the tightness in her packed stomach momentarily forgotten. 

Brian launched into his answer, initially stumbling over his words. “She just started doing all this different stuff. She lost..” he frowned. “She calls it a glow up journey,” he finished. She picked up some terrible e. coli strain when she tagged along on a research trip to do a swamp study with her field based colleague, she’s a biologist, specializes in wetland ecosystems.” He frowned again. “Well, she was. Anyways, she got this bug and was in the hospital for over a month. She lost a lot of weight, almost 50 pounds. It was really touch and go for a while and I was so worried about her, I was so…” A smile pulled at one corner of his mouth. “I was so happy when she started getting stronger. I thought things would go back to normal.” He shifted in his seat. “But, yea, they didn't. She started shopping for all new clothes, she got obsessed with losing more weight, and then the big things started happening. We’d been living in different units in the same building since our junior year of college and we loved our situation, but suddenly she told me I had 3 months to move in and a year to propose or she was leaving me. I didn't mind, I knew we’d live together at some point cause that had always been the plan, but the sudden urgency was just weird. Then she quit her job, the job she and I had always joked was the true love of her life, to get an entry level marketing job at an ad agency. It made no sense. She leased a new Audi and started hanging out with different women, actually going out, something she hadn't done since college. It’s good,” he rationalized in an uncertain tone. “It's overall good, it's just different now. Things are different. And she acts different, she wants me to act different. It's good,” he repeated unconvincingly. Change is good. It’s a glow up, like she said. And I proposed last month, and…” Brian trails off. “Yea. I don't wanna lose her.”

You won’t lose her,” Tatianna replies earnestly, just a beat too quickly. 

There's another extended silence, both of them recognizing the absurdity of the mutual sense of relational deja vu they invoked in each other. The awkwardness, or more specifically the lack thereof, bordered on the foreboding. They both knew there was much more to be said, much more that they needed to tell one another, but they didn't have the information at hand to do so. It was like having the answer key to a test without ever reading the questions, they could deliver the right responses but not always interpret them. A sense of inverted dramatic irony hung in the air as if they were an audience to the theatrical interpretation of their own story, watching themselves fumble through their lines while knowing some precinct piece of information that the players don't. 

Brian smiled as if acknowledging this, lightening the mood with another laugh. “I better not, that would mean I got a whole new wardrobe for nothing. She never used to care about clothes, now everything I wear is somehow embarrassing.”

“Wait, wait, wait, just to clarify, you’re somehow not embarrassed to be wearing a green corduroy vest with a yellow shirt?” The quip was out of her mouth before she could stop it and her face reddened instantly as Brian’s eyes widened.

“Wowwwwwwwwww,” he intoned, prolonging the word for several seconds as he broke into his biggest grin of the day. “Wowwwwww. Wow. Workplace bullying. When I see the HR lady in 10 months you’re done for.”

She bursts into laughter heavily motivated by relief at his good humor and Brian joins her, the two of them snickering and egging each other on like middle school boys. Tatianna is fully chortling now, bringing her hands up to cover her face as Brian hams it up by dictating an overly formal list of his vest related grievances. “…and it's overall just disrespectful to paddington bear.” 

He…doesn't even… wear a vest,” Tatianna choked out between peals of laughter, tears beginning to well in her eyes as Brian slapped the table, so breathless with hilarity his face was contorted. 

The laughter died down after several minutes and still giggling a bit, Brian looked at her expectantly. “You want dessert?”