FBBH 75
Added 2024-01-03 23:00:51 +0000 UTCWelcome back everyone! I hope you all had a goo
Comments
Brother, don't worry. He was being sarcastic. I had forgotten to renew the subscription.
Lacró
2024-01-19 16:56:08 +0000 UTCTo be fair I am still back on the rhytm of things after my vacation. The chapter is mostly done and just need to be edited. If nothing goes wrong it will be posted tomorrow.
Ronaldo Souza
2024-01-19 16:53:58 +0000 UTCRisky
Lacró
2024-01-19 11:37:52 +0000 UTCFine enough. Not to sound rude or anything but writting takes time and it haven't even been two weeks yet... okay apparently it has been two weeks but chapter will be out by the 20s.
Ronaldo Souza
2024-01-19 09:15:04 +0000 UTCBrother, are you okay?
Lacró
2024-01-19 08:30:48 +0000 UTCSolid chapter, starting with Raiser giving a deserved thrashing to the upstart then transitioning to a build up on Ravel vs Rias. Honestly, power wise Rias’s peerage really outclasses Ravels, unless Ravels has gotten more Noble Phantasms (which I doubt will be the case), like even if Ravels peerage doubled in power I can’t see how they can content with Rias’s peerage as they are, the Hybrid Akeno (I know she probably won’t use her hybrid powers to not reveal it), Magus Killer trained Rias, and Balance Breaker Issei with boosted dragon apples, not to mention the others got stronger as well. I look forward to see what they’ve got that makes them confident against Rias’s peerage, but I still can’t see any of them beating Issei with his dragon apples.
Archer
2024-01-06 08:34:58 +0000 UTCDamn, Ravel kinda a G for the grind she’s got going. I understand her anger and beef she has with Rias for what she did, but then again, the Phenex thought they could force and bully Rias/The Gremory around, so I don’t feel much pity for them. I’m excited to see how this turns out. As always I’m impressed with your writing, but I do have a few points as a fellow writer that might help you out. One of the biggest things that I find that affect the pacing and overall workload for your writing is the amount of “fluff” you add to certain scenes. You make them incredibly detailed, and I’m very impressed, but some of that detail is unnecessary and drags out the scenes at certain points. The best way to put it is like you are physically writing/describing every single detail from an anime scene start to finish. I don’t need to even imagine the scene happening because it’s been described/detailed so well. However, this isn’t an anime. The human eyes and mind absorb the details automatically from the scene, whereas in writing, it takes up more space, thus slowing down the pacing. In writing, unless done for a very specific purpose—such as dealing with mystery—there is no need to have so much detail. Now this isn’t to flame you or anything, because frankly it’s impressive how much detail you have in your writing (I can’t hold a candle to it) but I do feel that we are moving to slow. We still mid-way through the rating game arc and we’re 75 chapters in. By now, most other crossovers have gotten to it in less than 30 chapters. “Reenacting a Legend” by David07 I believe did it in 8 (similar if not slightly longer chapter lengths then yours). I do understand the lengths you are going to completely meld these worlds however, which few, if any have ever tried to do on the site. I think for the sake of your time and the pacing of the chapters, you could cut some unnecessary detail and add more scenes to shorten the number of chapters per arcs and increase the speed of the pacing. As it stands, it feels like we won’t make it to Juggernaut Drive (if it happens) for the next 10 chapters which constitutes for 20 weeks in real time. It is perfectly understandable for you to take 2 weeks for a chapter, with how well you make them and by all means keep taking that time. However, I feel that doing this will take some of the work load for you and give us more content to enjoy in this wonderful world you created. This is of course my opinion, and feel free to continue as you are, but I hope you take my words into consideration. Happy New Year!
Bruh Moment
2024-01-04 03:27:41 +0000 UTCMan, how nice it is when new characters enter the scene in a passive way and not a hello, there is a bad bad magician in your city, we have to stop him! In another scene. Will Rin learn Kendo from Shirou? I hope to see that and what happens to Yoruichi's appointment? I know we have two special appointments planned, but, come on, man, he deserves his moment. In another matter. I don't know if it was a mistake of yours or that's the plan because "it's another Fuyuki." If I remember correctly, Luvia mentions the "sword" they plan to do with Shirou. Yes, you all know what it is. It was tried before by the Edelfilt and the Thosaka. Canonically, if I remember correctly, the wizard Marshal gives some plans to Rin's ancestor. Luvia's family had nothing to do with it. Justice for Seek. Damn now is when we need a plot armor for Avalon to work and help him. Come on, Shirou, we need a hero! I hope that whole scene from the previous chapter with Draig almost invoking the armor to kill Merlin is not a justification for when he enters Berserk mode to smell the pod and faces Shirou. Happy start to the year. For many more chapters that you can criticize and good health to you.
Lacró
2024-01-04 00:44:31 +0000 UTC
