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Added 2020-10-17 07:22:15 +0000 UTCDressed in good clothes, but wrapped in his whi
Comments
I wish it were time for the next chapter!
Monomatopoeia
2020-10-20 00:57:18 +0000 UTCfixed this, as well as addressed your other comment with another fix. upon readthrough, that part felt clunky to me, too, so I switched out that whole paragraph.
Arcs
2020-10-17 19:54:11 +0000 UTCfixed~
Arcs
2020-10-17 19:53:19 +0000 UTCall fixed! thanks
Arcs
2020-10-17 19:53:11 +0000 UTC'that you do to better' -> 'that you do this to better' 'He words said' He -> His 'all switch them' -> 'he switched them' 'The looked slightly younger' The - She 'forward march as the completed' the -> they 'But the but she' -> 'But she' 'Besides that fact' that -> the 'truth; That' <- I don't think 'That' should be capitalized thanks for the chapter
Corwin Amber
2020-10-17 18:40:35 +0000 UTCGreat chapter! Thanks!
Zoe Weinstein
2020-10-17 15:45:11 +0000 UTC"Rape victims to depressed to move on with their lives" to --> too
loimprevisto
2020-10-17 15:26:34 +0000 UTCI’m excited to finally see this happening!
Craig
2020-10-17 14:42:15 +0000 UTCThe script has a global cooldown I think. So you can't cast more than a spell a second. Sense they are in a sped up space one second outside feels like 20 seconds inside.
Seadrake
2020-10-17 14:32:25 +0000 UTC"We love losers who turn everything around, and upend the world for their own gain, or for the lives and love of others, or for themselves." -- I think the "or for themselves" bit is redundant
Gardor
2020-10-17 14:30:40 +0000 UTC"Though we must journey on foot to the Feast, we will have lots of time to talk of the inadequacies of the Script" I'm starting to think this is the same problem, you using words like "though" and "but" without actually meaning conflicting things
Gardor
2020-10-17 14:18:03 +0000 UTC“You’d need to abandon the Script to be able to do the same thing with your [Greater Lightwalk].” "He had remade [Force Bolt] already, so he didn’t get a notification for that accomplishment, but he did throw out a tiny, completely normal-sized [Force Bolt]. He had put a hundred mana into that working, but still only got the original spell." I don't understand what this means, why do the time shenanigans make his spells weaker? And why would getting a notification for making force bolt have anything to do with him throwing out a force bolt?
Gardor
2020-10-17 14:12:44 +0000 UTCWhat is going on with Erick? He is tapping into something like when he cast the spell that turned into more than he planned. The source of the Dragon curse is a surprise as well.
Chris
2020-10-17 10:22:00 +0000 UTC
