Ninja and the cult part 2 1-6 with *fix text
Added 2020-04-05 19:18:13 +0000 UTCThis is not on comissioner order. I just want to add dialouge for fun. Criticism are welcome.
Comments
Sure go ahead.
ibenz009
2020-04-06 12:56:31 +0000 UTCCan I translate this comics on the Russian language?
Alexey Stratulat
2020-04-06 12:24:52 +0000 UTC6.2 "The crystal wants you too..." 6.4 "We must fix you... You will become pretty..."
Asani
2020-04-06 00:45:12 +0000 UTC5.1 "This is your fault, you know. I was rather fond of that couple and had no plans for them until you barged in." 5.2 "How fortunate then that you chose today to attack. They might otherwise have never known the purity of ascension." 5.3 "Now, my angels, show her the beauty of the crystal."
Asani
2020-04-06 00:44:39 +0000 UTC4.1 "Can you feel it, my angels? Your flesh has been purged, leaving behind only pure crystalline essence. Your forms have been molded into perfect servants of the magnificent crystal." 4.2 "Now awaken, my angels, and feel the bliss of your rebirth!" 4.3 "HAPPY..." => "BLISS..." 4.4 "The crystal sings to us..." 4.5 "The crystal reshaped us..." 4.6 "Into angels..." 4.7 "We are apostles of the crystal... What we were before is irrelevant, all that matters now is the crystal..." "You are an enemy... You deny the magnificence of the crystal... We must make you see..."
Asani
2020-04-06 00:44:16 +0000 UTC3.1 "What is this stuff!? It's spreading up my arm, Roland, help!!" "Damnit, I can't get the ring off." 3.3 "My my, what a naughty boy you are, Roland. Please be a dear and just let it happen. Good angels should act with more propriety." 3.5 "Oh Roland dear, I can tell that you will be a very pretty angel indeed when you are complete." 3.6 "No, Miss Edith, please stop! We don't want this!! Somebody please help!!" 3.7 "Hold on, I'm trying to. Damn these crystals!" "You cult bastard!! Let them go, they are not involved in this!!" 3.8 "FOREGET" => "FORGET" "EVERYTHING IS... EMPTY... SO EMPTY.....AND....COLD...."
Asani
2020-04-06 00:43:53 +0000 UTC2.1 "I believe I have found the perfect pair. What do you two think?" 2.2 "Oh Miss Edith they are beautiful, but we could never afford these!" 2.3 "I could never let such a lovely couple wear copper on their wedding day! Consider it a gift." "I don't even know what to say, thank you!" "Miss Edith, may we try them on?" "Of course! Go right ahead, dear." 2.4 "Oh my, they look simply marvelous on you two!" "Are you sure? We really don't have enough to pay you what they are worth." 2.5 "Oh, I don't need your money, dear. After all, you two will serve me forever as my beautiful angels. Let's begin your ascension!"
Asani
2020-04-06 00:43:21 +0000 UTC1.1 "My my, if it isn't Young Roland and (Miss) Daisy. Welcome. How can an old woman help you two love birds today?" "Oh stop, Miss Edith, you tease too much. Say, do you sell rings?" "Why yes I do, dearies." 1.2 "To tell you the truth, Miss Edith, we are looking for wedding rings. We've been saving up.' "Oh my!" "Do you... think we can afford a nice pair with this amount?" 1.4 "Welcome!" 1.5 "Could you wait a moment please?" 1.6 "I'll be right with you..."
Asani
2020-04-06 00:42:47 +0000 UTCThe art is obviously amazing, but hoo boy is that some spicy dialog. Definitely kicked things up a notch! For reference, here are the edits I would suggest.
Asani
2020-04-06 00:42:33 +0000 UTCNot at all.
ibenz009
2020-04-05 23:03:00 +0000 UTCMind if I make a story out of this?
Arthur Yeung
2020-04-05 21:56:54 +0000 UTCsome interesting lore there, does make me want the ninja to fall to the crystal though.
ChaosOverlordZ
2020-04-05 20:28:54 +0000 UTCYeah, there are a lot of grammar errors. If need be for the future, I could help with checking for those in the future if need be. Overall though, it’s a good comic to see here :)
TheMotionHero
2020-04-05 19:45:52 +0000 UTCgood stuff
Corey Tindall
2020-04-05 19:41:27 +0000 UTChmm definitely some grammar errors, I'll see if i have time later if no one else can.
ZeroForever
2020-04-05 19:40:15 +0000 UTCLove it
Stormfries
2020-04-05 19:27:57 +0000 UTC
