Updates/Discord

Kat asked what I've been up to since the release in the chat, so I thought I'd just make a post about it and also share the link to my new Discord server so you guys can chat there if you're taking a break from Patreon and connect with the readers who joined on Ream as well! My posts on Patreon are being uploaded on other sites, so I'm going to post the link to Discord in the chat. I don't know how active I'll be on there, but I'll drop in and let you all know when I start writing again.

It's been a whirlwind since the release. Bitter Confessions has officially been out in the world for 16 days, but it feels like last week. The frenzy you get into leading up to a release is insanity. You're juggling so many balls. Managing 400+ patrons + publishing on retailers, producing blogs and newsletters and social media posts and all the stuff on the back end is enough to drive anyone insane. This is probably the worst my sleep has been. To finish the last minute rewrites on the book I was up until 5am most days and getting up at 9am or 10, reading emails from bed and rushing my dogs outside for a potty break before plunking down in front of the computer to sort out my madness.

I also had some personal stuff going on during that time, which added to my sky high stress levels. When it rains, it pours, right? It's been 2 weeks since the release and I still struggle to go to sleep before 4am. The aftermath of release is just as violent as the lead up with bookkeeping, invoices, reports, emails and an overall sense of disbelief that you finished, a feeling that you must be forgetting something (because your list seemed never ending), and relief that it's over (for now). It's taken me this long to finally start coming down from the frenzy and am able to take a breath.

I have two waves of family coming in October. The first wave was this past week and the second is coming in a few days so I'll be offline. I've been catching up with my friends who haven't heard from me in six months. I went to a therapy appointment today and a week ago, my car broke down at the post office. I went in to tell the post office worker (who I'm on a first name basis with) that my car may be there for some time since the tow trucks were backed up and she offered me and my doggie a ride home. LOL. That was out of the ordinary and pretty funny.

Fall is officially here in Oregon. I was planning on taking in the leaves or possibly doing a mini road trip, but my car going into the shop put those plans in the gutter.

I've been in Oregon since February and am only now unpacking some of my boxes. While I've been cleaning and sorting, I've been listening to "The Creative Act" by Rick Rubin and "Essentialism" to help me prioritize my life. I've also reached out to a cover designer to help me rebrand the Crime Lord Series.

I plan on diving back into writing in November. Roth is at the forefront of my mind. I think I'm going to be writing some key scenes in BC from his POV and actually have him lead me into book 4. Because so much changed in BC from the first draft, I'm not sure if what I wrote of book 4 is still relevant. I haven't looked at it yet since I've been doing other things and once I start, I won't be able to stop. I think I need to let my mind unspool before jumping back into the fire. I want to come back to the work refreshed, not sleep deprived and drained.

I think out of this series, Bitter Heat was my smallest release and each one since then has actually gotten better, if you can believe it. I'm really blessed to have a dedicated readership that show up whenever I release. Of course, there was a blight on the release with India not even allowing me to publish in their country and I heard France pulled the paperbacks... There's probably other channels I'm shadow banned on and have no idea. DESPITE THAT, I had a successful launch, so thank you to all of you angels who spread the word and recommend me! A reader did complain to Amazon about me being banned in India. Amazon responded with a bogus, "there was a licensing issue." I wish they could just be transparent about why I'm being banned, but they can't because if they impose those rules upon me the same would have to be applied to the commercially successful authors like EL James, HD Carlton and all the others who have more triggering content but are backed by publishers. It's annoying AF.

I now have to do a lot of extra work to create avenues to keep myself afloat if I do get banned on more sales channels. I'll be switching my paperbacks to IngramSpark and am looking into making my own Shopify store (though I may put that on the back burner since I think it will take quite a bit of research and time).

On the release--I have to say, the responses from people have been so interesting. Shockingly, I think it's been overwhelmingly positive with most people just wanting the next and being utterly distraught. The introspective emails I've received and the comparisons of me being Johanna Ledger with me getting banned & asking what I went through to write something so heart wrenching... It's been so interesting! I think this is the most time I've ever put into responding to emails after a release. I'll usually get some "You fucking suck!" and "I can't believe you thought this was good enough to publish... blah blah." But overwhelmingly, the emails were from those who felt compelled to pour their hearts out and share some pretty personal and shocking things, which I don't think I've experienced before. It made all the hours I put into this story worth it and made me realize this story is touching a special chord in people.

Because of this (and I haven't announced this publicly yet because I just came to this conclusion by reading Essentialism and I have yet to speak to the organizers), I will be canceling my attendance at RARE London 2025. When I agreed to go, I didn't know I would be publishing Bitter Confessions so late in the year. I still have to negotiate new dates with my publisher for book 4 and I have to sort out my personal life. I still have some business anchoring me to Las Vegas that I need to take care of so I've decided to nix the trip and focus on grounding myself in one place and doing my damndest to put out more than one book next year. The only way that can happen is for me to stay put so I decided to let go of that trip and wait for a time when I'm more established.

My mind is going haywire. It'll bounce from the urge to write an insane palette cleanser to thinking of unhinged Roth quotes I want to put on a pillow to Shopify to rebranding and the fact that I have to register barcodes to... static. I think my brain is just overloaded so switches to static to give me a break. Lol. I'm trying to lessen my time in front of the screen and narrow my focus so I'm not overwhelmed.

**I'm sending out the first wave of singed paperbacks tomorrow. I'll be processing more throughout the week and throughout October so if you haven't heard from me yet, you will shortly!

I think that's about it... I'm very happy with the release and I'm very proud of the book. When I actually held all 3 hefty paperbacks together, I felt a moment of awe in seeing another another installment. There were definitely times I doubted I would make it through and now it's over! I'm actually extremely excited to start book 4. It's always gnawing at me to put pen to paper and start outlining and sketching out ideas, but I'm ignoring the compulsion because I have to take care of all this business, but once the majority of it is complete, WATCH OUT!

I hope you're all doing well! I'm happy to see you all chatting and discussing the book. I've received a lot of messages with people wanting to talk to me about it but... since the series is incomplete, there isn't much I can comment on which is why I don't engage much. But I'm so glad you all have each other to bounce theories off of!

Thank you once again and if anyone has any questions you can DM me or email me. Link to Discord will be in the chat!!