Our Red String Chapter 1 (Alpha)
Added 2020-03-28 11:40:53 +0000 UTCIt's finally here! I'm excited and nervous to see what you guys think. I hope there's enough content for a first release, and I want to hear your thoughts and opinions.
What do you think about the new presentation? Graphics, UI, displayables...?
What do you think about the new game mechanics and gameplay?
Do you like the more in depth writing and characters?
And most importantly, how do you feel about out two new leads? HAve I've done good job writing from a male perspective?
Let me know in the comments, as well as report any bug you might come across. I hope you enjoy this first chapter and are left excited for what's to come. Thanks for your support and faith in my project!
Comments
Very good points about writing for Ian. It’s an awful generalization, as it’s obvious that many people don’t fall into only one hypothetical male-mindset, but nonetheless it’s true that in general we’re kind of oblivious to signs that people from Venus think to be crystal clear: they just fly under our radar. Regarding that, and in other awful generalization, we tend to don’t overthink things that much (again many exceptions to that “rule”) or at least reach the “fuck it!” point much sooner, also not every issue is interconnected in our brains (look out in youtube about the “nothing box” and Mark Gungor, it’s kind of a joke but there’s some true to it and express better than me what I’m trying to say). So when writing Ian’s inner monologues maybe a kind of “less is more” approach could be of use, or least help writing two different protagonist and not just the same but with different genitalia (I’m not saying this is happening at the moment, lol!).
Cabot
2020-03-28 19:00:55 +0000 UTCim looking forword to this game ive played through twice i like it alot looking forword to the next part
Matthew Cook
2020-03-28 18:46:21 +0000 UTCAgreed with Breadloaf on Lena being more reactive than proactive in this update, and as he points up in good part that is because you play Ian first (at the end of the day the player is the one making the choices but one character comes out looking more passive than the other). On the long run I’m guessing you won’t be playing always Ian’s side of the story first, or the switch in pov will be faster, so things will be more balanced and no character will appear to be the only real protagonist of the story, but nonetheless it’s a potential problem of the dual-MC gameplay and might be wise to check on that over development. Too soon to tell, in any case. Another too soon to be sure opinion: while I dig the new cast and think they are more nuanced, less archetypical, better fleshed out in sum than the original cast of GGGB, almost all of them seemed to be… I don’t know how to put it… Not bland, but maybe too “goody”? You can even feel for Robert once you have seen the kind of day he has been through (and that was neat, one fine example of what can be achieved with the dual-MC letting the player see the two sides of the story, nicely done). I’m not saying every story needs and Evil Antagonist, but a (potential) corruption game I feel needs some “corrupters”, like Arthur, Wilson and even Jack and Jess at the beginning were in GGGB, or at least some temptations for the protagonists; and as of now I don’t see any of the cast (except Axel and Seymour) in that role. Of course they can evolve into that, and of course there’s much we don’t know about them atm, and of course more characters can make and appearance later (Wilson didn’t came into play in GGGB until v0.5 if I’m not wrong)… So, as I said, too soon to tell. Nothing more to add about the production values of ORS, simply put they are one order of magnitude over GGGB, as I said in the inner circle post the shading in some instances is a bit over the top for my tastes, but I can live with that. The GUI is also much better, tough a couple little improvements could be added imho: when you earn/loss a relationship point it could be specified with whom has it happened and (as Maurice Conchis said in that post) the GUI could have a notification warning the player something has been added to the Agenda, especially if the entries are gonna change over time as the story develops. I didn’t catch any big bugs while playing a couple routes. I think Danny is referred as Allan in line 685 of chapter1B, and there’s a couple typos but I don’t know if the proofreading has already been done and you want us to list them now. All in all I really liked this chapter, really looking forward to see what you have in store for us. Kudos for the great work!
Cabot
2020-03-28 17:56:18 +0000 UTCIt is a very promising start. The presentation looks really good. A big step from GGGB (and I quite enjoyed the look). I also really liked the game mechanics. The idea with the different stats are great (and the different responses they generate), as well as the other more interactive bits (don't want to spoil anything). What I like most is, that the story is told with two different main characters. Both seem interesting (as do almost all of the other characters). If the pace is varied and the order of appaerance is switched around from time to time, it is a type of storytelling I thorougly enjoy. Last but not least. I really like the slow start. Getting to know each character feels much more natural. As I said in the beginning. A very promising and strong start. I look forward to future updates.
MarsRover
2020-03-28 17:05:12 +0000 UTCThere was a lot to like about this first episode. If we start of with the basic things, the graphics and UI are greatly improved compared to GGGB. It looks much sharper, detailed and aesthetically pleasing. The characters are well-designed – I especially like Ivy, Lena and Cindy, but with the enhanced graphics, the others came into their own right as well. Also, the effort of making custom backgrounds was definitely worth it, they all look stunning, which makes for a more authentic experience. So, overall, the production values have increased tremendously. In general, you can tell a lot of time and energy has gone into the creation of the game. Apart from the enhanced production values, the writing feels more developed and in-depth. So far, I am very positive towards this, as it allows us learn more about the characters and can give more insights to their development. Having played GGGB, I am not worried that this would take precedence over the sexual content, so I can only be positive towards the more developed writing thus far. I don’t know exactly what you refer to with the new game mechanics, so I’ll presume it is the stats system, and the choices you get. I liked that you got some more granular choices, for example how you respond to Ivy, how to tackle the drunk, whether to continue practicing with Jeremy, and the pool game. It makes it more interactive and fun to play. As long as this doesn’t risk making things way to complex, I am very enthusiastic about it. The thing I enjoyed the most was Lena’s set-up. The fact that she already starts out as a (nude) model, and as friends with Ivy, was very refreshing. This allows for some really exciting opportunities, that could come relatively quickly, with Ivy playing a large part in making that happen. As someone who likes, and I am sure many people on here feel the same, corruption, Lena’s current situation is extremely appealing. At the same time, though, you can also see her going a different direction, so I am very excited to continue her story. Ian’s part was good as well, but it did not speak to me in the same way as Lena’s. In fact, the biggest thing that’s on my mind at the moment, is how the interplay between the two MC’s will work. When thinking about it, I sometime get the impression that this game is more story-driven, as if telling Lena and Ian’s story. The two perspectives will become more and more intertwined, so that they eventually end up at the same place – where they are now. An implication of this, of course, would be reduced possibilities to shape each characters’ future, so something tells me I am a little off, since you have said that you want to put the characters in focus. At the same time, though, for some reason, I don’t think it’s meant to be two separate stories, with two characters that could end up at wildly different places, irrespectively of each other. So, my questions about having two MC’s remain to a degree, more specifically what the consequences will be for variation and character development. However, as I said, there are a lot of positive things about this first episode, and, most importantly of all, it has made me want to continue playing it. I am excited to see the future updates, and I wish you the best of luck in your continues development.
Koskesh
2020-03-28 16:47:32 +0000 UTCA small bug too: on Lena's chapter she's described in the dialogue text box as "Waitress" when she talks to Ian and Holly.
Breadloaf
2020-03-28 13:37:36 +0000 UTCThe GUI and overall presentation are much better than GGGB. The music didn't do *that* much though (except for Ivy's dance, I would say). Probably because the game is pretty silent for the rest of the time. The new sound bites for clicking, making choices and so on are satisfying strangely though. The writing for Ian is better than the male leads in GGGB, who were often a bit simplistic compared to the women in GGGB. I'd like to add just two Captain Obvious things here: firstly that dudes are experts at not recognizing or misinterpreting romantic signs from women, especially when women think they are obvious ("I was SMILING and said hi once! Didn't he get that I want to bang?!"). Of course, being too realistic in an adult game would miss the point of the genre. The second obvious tip is to do like many authors do who write POVs for a character of the opposite sex - asking their significant other. In case you can't or don't want to, it doesn't really matter, because then you could always ask the upper tiers for opinions instead. Patreon is very much about having the opportunity to opine about the ongoing development, so it would increase the value for the upper tiers as well. Having a longer introduction then GGGB helps to get to know the characters a lot more which I think you did well. The only danger here is continuing with the same pace which many other games do where nothing naughty has happened even though the game at that point is longer than War and Peace. I think that's about writers being afraid of breaking new ground. When relationships between characters change you can't just keep on writing as you did before which can put authors out of their comfort zone. So, in this case, don't see it as an end goal when the protagonists get to bang, just that the writing has to be altered a bit. It was interesting to see events happening from two different POVs. However, if the events always happen first for one character (in this chapter, Ian), then the other character will feel very reactionary and not like you are in charge of that character's destiny. So to make Lena more interesting the player has to experience events first from her POV as well. One possibility is to make POVs switch a bit faster. It's a bit too early to say if I'm personally on board with two main protagonists, with this being an introduction. So far Lena feels a bit like an appendage to Ian, but that might be because I'm more interested in her POV, or that we got to play her POV second. If the majority likes having two protagonists and your support increases, then you're on the right track no matter if I like or not.
Breadloaf
2020-03-28 12:51:58 +0000 UTCIt's only in the introduction. As soon as you have leave the café and enter your apartment the save menu opens up.
Breadloaf
2020-03-28 12:37:15 +0000 UTCI cant save the game. If i press the right mouse button the only option is to quit the game.
lachis17
2020-03-28 12:26:41 +0000 UTCHope you're not disappointed!
Eva Kiss
2020-03-28 12:21:48 +0000 UTCI'm downloading it as i type this. I am so hype for this...
Aaron
2020-03-28 12:01:07 +0000 UTC
