Version 0.5 Beta release!
Added 2017-06-26 00:32:26 +0000 UTCFinally, here you go. As always, please report in the comments any bugs you find... I want the game to be polished when it's released to the vast majority of the public. Sorry if your favourite character is not on this update, but i wanted to introduce new ones and further some specific relationships. I'm going to bed now, I'm dead tired after an 11 hour shift and 4 more hours afterwards proofreading and fixing bugs! Hope you enjoy...
Comments
The mac version throws exceptions 'IOError: Couldn't find file 'icecream.jpg.'.' I've seen that before and the problem is the trailing dot '.' on the filename.
thinxx
2017-06-27 14:18:16 +0000 UTCYou're awesome! I guess I shouldn't have been proofreading at 2 AM after an 11 hour work shift, but I wanted to give you guys the beta at the promised date even if some mistakes slipped by.
Eva Kiss
2017-06-27 09:20:52 +0000 UTCI am in an unusually good mood today and didn't have anything really special to do, so I tried as many paths and choices as possible. Wall of text incoming with typos, then bugs, then some random thoughts last because if I hide them there no one will read them. Let's start with the typos. I think that your devoted legion of fans have reported most of them, but I couldn't be bothered to look. Shift + W: "I thought as much. we're doing ok, isn't that right?" Yes should be in lower case, unless his name changed to Yes: "Oh God, Yes!! I'm cumming!" He'sthe sounds like a generic high fantasy name. I suppose that you missed a space: "He'sthe CEO at the pharmaceutical company." Unless she means finding a huge, ugly man when she talks about taking a troll I suppose that you meant stroll: "I don't know, just take a troll, talk, maybe have some ice cream." Unless Fist time is related to quantum physics I suppose that you meant first: "It was so weird seeing Mom with another man. A man so different from Dad. A man who I saw for the fist time." Without: "And whithout good-looking girls in this club, the guys will think it's shitty, and will go somewhere else." Ashley began to stammer here: "That was close! We almost didn't't make it in." Unless you meant a short form of Hsaing waing (Burmese folk musical ensemble) I found a typo here: "He looked at me and smiled, and I smiled back. I put myself in front of him, waing my hips, running my hands through my hair." Yeah, I'd rather be Yout's friend than be her friend again: "No, I just want to be yout friend" Unless you are missing some spaces in dobubt (do bub T, with bub being a pet name) I suppose that there's a b too many: "Looking at them made me feel like I wanted to do that, like I needed to. No dobubt it was the effects of the drug, but..." I suggest "He flashed me an evil grin" instead of evil smiled: "He flashed me and evil smiled and started dry humping me, striking my ass with his pelvis, like he was mating with me." According to Google Translate huim is Hindi for happened. A typo? "Eric tried to defend huimself, but Wilson threw his fist like a piston and punched him right in the face." Exercised: "I excersised for a while, took a shower and got back home." Too much space between I and 'll: "I'm not saying I 'll go sleeping around. What I mean is that, if at a given point, I felt the need to... you know... I could do it without feeling guilty." Unless you intentionally hid som Spanish here I think that you missed a space: "It's true I'm notas experienced as you..." If you capitalize the d it becomes a name, otherwise you could remove the u in doug and turn it into an insult: "His name is doug." I tried to pronounce tfavourite and managed to produce some spittle. "He's one of my tfavourite guys - don't think I'm sending you a nobody." A hey might be expensive. I suppose you meant but: "I'm starting strong, buy hey, play hard or go home, right?" The doggie returns: "It was from doug, Iris' friend." Same here with the doggie: Hi, doug. Nice to meet you, I'm Ashley. Doug is stupid as a brick, but I think that "on" should be removed: "You did? Holy crap, I'm starting to get famous! Did you hear it on the internet? Or on in the news?" Athletic: "He was good looking, that was clear. Tall, strong and with an atheltic body and manly facial features, even if he was still young." That shaft is not very feminine: "I knelt between his legs and stuck out my tongue, licking she shaft from bottom to top." Goddess: "To him, I was some kind of godess... So I let him worship me." No typos here, but I thought that I should comment on this line: "That was one of the disadvantages of hooking up with someone younger than you... Not that guys my age were usually living on their own, either." Since they have been talking about football I suppose that the game is situated in a fictional USA. According to statistics by National Universities about 19 percent commute to college, while the rest live in a dorm or share a house or apartment with other students. So might change that sentence slightly and keep that in mind when you develop the story further. Here you could choose to use kneeled or knelt. Knelt is a bit more common in British English though: "He pulled out and kneelt on top of the bed next to my head as he stroked his dick furiously." While she just got the D that letter should be removed from and: "Looks like we have and audience... And they want to see those kinds of things..." Our: "Yeah. We should keep or traditions going." T: "For real? that's amazing! He must be a great guy." Unless you meant an AT-AT (All Terrain Armored Transport) or AT-ST (All Terrain Scout Transport) I think that at should be deleted. But I could be wrong: "What was I doing watching at them fuck?" An offer to buy something or a misspelled but? "Buy you have have friends. You had a great boyfriend who loved you very much." I must say, it sounds a bit like she's bored when the capitalization is missing here: "Yes, keep fucking me. Harder. give it to me harder..." Some more Spanish here. I suggest using "leave" instead: "Please, leve me alone..." They got what they came for, I think? Unless Wilson and Edgar made a try at poetry. "Let's go Edgar, we got what we came from." Over to the bugs. I only looked for the disappearing tattoo where Ashley used her new clothes, so more of those bugs might be lurking in the depths. The tattoo on Ashley vanishes between these two screens: Eva (bitch version): Well, well... (tattoo still there) Ashley (20 points good, 2 points bad): What? (tattoo disappears) Answering that Eva is a slut makes the tattoo reappear. Saying that you want to be her friend still has the tattoo invisible. Appears when "She hugged me." appears. The tattoo disappears again when Ashley talks to Good Eva over some ice cream and says "We broke up..." Doug fucks Ashley so good that her tattoo disappears after the cumshot. Reappears the next day when she is in her comfy clothes on both responses. When the two latino thugs appear with "Hello again, mamasita." Ashley is hidden behind Edgar. Seems like Edgar should be at the right instead of the left during the conversation. When Bad Ashley and Bad Eva eat ice cream the tattoo disappears when Ashley changes her facial expression and responds to Evas question regarding meeting the latinos again. It reappears again when Eva says "Well, shall we go?". The tattoo disappears when Ashley tells Eric that they should break up. Reappears the day after. Oopsie daisies, an exception appeared when Ashley and Jessica ate ice cream. Exactly the same as the one Harry Nathan got, so I won't waste more bits of storage on the Internet with a repost. And last, some more or less random ramblings: I liked everything in the update, so hard to pick something. Except the sex scenes (I especially liked that Ashley could choose position, which doesn't matter story wise but adds some flavor and player input) I would like to point out the Instagram scene with the comments and her date with Doug. The humor worked at least for me. Great that the bad dialogue choice delivered on the comedy part as well. The bonding scenes with Jessica was terrific as well. I hope to see a real photoshoot with Ashley sometime soon, since Jessica has had that experience :) You might have missed it buried in the comments, but the patron Art made an offer to look at your code. Playing through the game I am pretty sure that the Ashley sprite can be coded in a much neater and faster way. Instead of me giving you some advice which can be wrong I suggest that you PM him. Would probably reduce the amount of bugged tattoos drastically. I would like to point out the plot is actually quite interesting, even if you would remove the sex scenes. That being said, this is a game for grown-ups, which means that your well made story together with the choices makes it so much better. If I were to complain I would say that the sex scenes are a bit on the short side, and with them being a natural focus on the game it wouldn't be weird if they were a tad bit longer. I am not talking about writing Encyclopedia Britannica every time Ashley has a naughty thought, but I think that you can fill them out a bit more. Especially her orgasms. For inspiration I can recommend one of the highest rated and read stories on Literotica (lesbian romance, so it is quite focused on what I just felt was missing a bit): <a href="https://www.literotica.com/s/a-proper-send-off" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://www.literotica.com/s/a-proper-send-off</a> Your drawings showing kisses has been complimented a lot, but they are truly really good. Don't see them very often either in adult games, so that is awesome! Your way of writing Ashleys thoughts and her doubts are very good as well. I noted that Ashley said that she didn't watch porn. If I were to suggest something, I think that remedying that issue could give her some ideas regarding dirty talk, positions (a former but still in shape gymnast is capable of great deeds) and maybe career choices? Some jewelry would be pretty hot as well. Maybe an opportunity that arrives with her Instagram career? I liked that this update introduced what is more or less one night stands (even if they might be more than one time things). Not every character needs to be involved in the story a lot, since that would swell the project to a gargantuan size, and bad Ashley probably wants to try out several different guys and girls with no strings attached and no further contact involved except the hook-up :) Regarding drugs I've noted that Ashley is offered coke every now and then (not the soda). Ecstasy is a popular party drug, so that should probably be around as well. When it comes to drugs and sex, weed can be popular amongst women (increased sensation and libido) but not always among men (can create temporal erectile dysfunctionality). LSD and the just mentioned ecstasy are popular bedroom drugs as well. Some men use amphetamine and ecstasy together so they can keep going all night with an abnormal amount of erections. I think I should point out that while the usage of drugs can have severe effects, I don't think that you should ever try to write about the bad effects in a realistic manner, unless you write a Bad End, or something similar. Crack heads, cokeheads and similar addicts are sad sights and there's nothing erotic about them. I wrote in my earlier post that you should have a notice about the game being adults only. I think that you should also include the fact that the characters and locations are fictional, and that any resemblance to the real world is just a coincidence. Should probably also say that the use of illegal drugs are not condoned (you are not set out to educate about the severe side effects of drugs, but I see no harm in a "don't try this at home, kids" notice). The Facebook chat is a really good way at giving the player some more character insight without needing the characters to meet each other. You used that to great effect before the first party (where you could chat with Eva, Jack and Eric). I think you can use that even more if you feel like it. I think that you could have Credits as a menu option as well. Since you are writer, designer and programmer the credits are quite short, but I think that you can honor Blueavenger and SDevil with a "proofreading by..." and put it there. You have a very diverse cast, but so far there has been no Asian hunks or hotties. I think that a lot of fans would be happy if someone was introduced, and to refrain against using a cliché (the nerdy Asian, which is quite insulting at this point) you could introduce a male Asian model, or something similar. That's all. Keep up your superb work!
Breadloaf
2017-06-26 23:35:10 +0000 UTCITS AMAZING! :D
Yamakasi
2017-06-26 20:27:07 +0000 UTCBetter then the steam summer sale xD
wut
2017-06-26 15:48:54 +0000 UTCGood Ashley meets Jessica for an ice cream. After " I wondered when the results of the finals would come in" you get: I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred. While running game code: File "game/script.rpy", line 19644, in script menu tkice: File "game/script.rpy", line 19645, in <module> "Talk about Eric's dad" if edadonn == True and tked == False: NameError: name 'edadonn' is not defined -- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------ Full traceback: File "C:\Users\userfolder\Documents\patreon_games\aa1\GoodGirlGoneBad-0.5beta-pc\renpy\bootstrap.py", line 295, in bootstrap renpy.main.main() File "C:\Users\userfolder\Documents\patreon_games\aa1\GoodGirlGoneBad-0.5beta-pc\renpy\main.py", line 487, in main run(restart) File "C:\Users\userfolder\Documents\patreon_games\aa1\GoodGirlGoneBad-0.5beta-pc\renpy\main.py", line 147, in run renpy.execution.run_context(True) File "C:\Users\userfolder\Documents\patreon_games\aa1\GoodGirlGoneBad-0.5beta-pc\renpy\execution.py", line 761, in run_context context.run() File "game/script.rpy", line 19644, in script menu tkice: File "C:\Users\userfolder\Documents\patreon_games\aa1\GoodGirlGoneBad-0.5beta-pc\renpy\ast.py", line 1459, in execute choice = renpy.exports.menu(choices, self.set) File "C:\Users\userfolder\Documents\patreon_games\aa1\GoodGirlGoneBad-0.5beta-pc\renpy\exports.py", line 828, in menu if renpy.python.py_eval(condition) ] File "C:\Users\userfolder\Documents\patreon_games\aa1\GoodGirlGoneBad-0.5beta-pc\renpy\python.py", line 1749, in py_eval return py_eval_bytecode(code, globals, locals) File "C:\Users\userfolder\Documents\patreon_games\aa1\GoodGirlGoneBad-0.5beta-pc\renpy\python.py", line 1743, in py_eval_bytecode return eval(bytecode, globals, locals) File "game/script.rpy", line 19645, in <module> "Talk about Eric's dad" if edadonn == True and tked == False: NameError: name 'edadonn' is not defined Windows-8-6.2.9200 Ren'Py 6.99.12.4.2187 Good Girl Gone Bad 0.5beta </module></module>
Harry Nathan
2017-06-26 13:58:24 +0000 UTCjesus, This version is fuckin' fun. How can i wait next version? ;-(
DavidLEE
2017-06-26 13:43:06 +0000 UTCWhen you are good Ashley and you have fallen out with Eva. Dave calls you to discuss the party for Eric. At one point in the conversation there is a bug and Eva's name appears instead of Dave's
Harry Nathan
2017-06-26 13:41:07 +0000 UTCYou're either lying out of your ass, or you have some serious porn addiction. In both cases - get your shit together, man!
stoperArt
2017-06-26 13:26:25 +0000 UTCGodammit, a hot girl invited me in town after work... I just wanna get home and play v0.5, hahhaha... Imma make an Ashley out of her, hahaha
Yamakasi
2017-06-26 12:42:02 +0000 UTCcan you list what does the error say here?
Eva Kiss
2017-06-26 12:35:59 +0000 UTCsaw some files of ashley and doug and tried several playthroughs with bad ashley, good ashley, bad eva + bad ashley etc. but all dont seem to unlock those scenes. maybe someone could pm me what path to take. On another note I found a bug with the bad Ashley and bad friendship with eva path. When she talks with Jessica about Birth Control when she says "I wonder when the result of the finals will come in" there comes an error message.
Nawing
2017-06-26 11:56:49 +0000 UTCput a bunch of spelling updates in private comments for you, plus there is an unhandled exception report in the comments from the ice cream shop scene too
Subliminal
2017-06-26 11:08:07 +0000 UTC
