#1112 The Deities’ Meeting

I am Hermes, God of Wisdom!

Even now, great tumult stirs in the celestial realm!

The cause: a new kingdom soon to be raised in the mortal world!

And the one who shall found it is none other than that man who hath lately brought unto our world naught but revolutionary marvels: the Saint.

With such a momentous figure poised to establish a nation, the gods cannot help but be thrown into an uproar.

“…A new realm is on the verge of birth upon the earth…!”

“‘Tis not meet that gods simply stand by in silence. Our divine charge is to protect and watch over mortals.”

“Wherefore, it stands to reason that the safeguarding of a mortal kingdom also falleth to the gods…!”

Thus do all the gods of this world assemble themselves for a grand council.

Strange it is not, and yet…!

“And now, the kingdom to be formed shall be founded and ruled by that Saint…!”

“Such a precious opportunity I shall not let slip…!”

“The one who becomes the guardian deity of the gent’s nation shall be me!!!”

A swirl of selfish desires unfold before us.

Indeed, the gods gathered here glare at one another, each intent on claiming the one and only spot as the guardian deity of this new realm the Saint shall establish.

And all unbidden!

Is a guardian deity truly required for a kingdom?

Well…in truth, yes.

There is that notion of the Divine Right of Kings: a monarch’s authority is said to arise from divine approval.

And so the land he rules, too.

Hence a kingdom doth become a kingdom in full when it secures the blessing of a deity!!!

…Though mayhap that is but the gods’ convenient view.

Yet for us, ‘tis a grave concern indeed.

Thus, the matter of which god shall stand behind the Saint’s kingdom is the crux of this divine council.

But how is it that such a vital gathering be convened without mine own knowledge—I, Hermes, herald of the gods?!

“Because thou wert lost in daydreams as thou gazed upon the mortal realm, fool! ‘Twas far too urgent to tarry for the likes of thee!”

Silence, Artemis! Cease calling me a fool at every turn!

Yet her point does ring true.

So desperate are the gods to claim the Saint’s new kingdom that they raced here, bypassing even Hermes the herald in their haste.

How typical, when ordinarily one might call them thrice over and they would not budge!

“In any case! This new kingdom shall be cared for by me, Hades!”

From amidst the assembled gods, one doth speak: Hades, Lord of the Underworld and mine own uncle.

“Forsooth, the land wherein this kingdom shall rise lieth in the mortal domain, my domain as underworld god! ‘Tis only proper that its designated steward oversee its founding!”

“Is that so?”

Responding swiftly is Poseidon, God of the Seas, another of mine own uncles.

“If everything upon the earth were governed by the underworld gods, then why do the celestial gods support the humans and the Human Kingdom? If thy logic were sound, thou wouldst be guardian of all humankind, Hades!”

“W-Well… ‘Tis because the humans were created by Zeus…!”

“Precisely. Indeed, underworld gods look after the demons, who in turn were wrought by thy hand. A god must bear responsibility for the race he created! By that logic, ‘tis I, Poseidon of the Seas, who should guard the Saint’s kingdom!”

And why, pray tell?

“Because the Saint’s own wife is a mermaid, a race I did create! A god beareth responsibility for that which he created! So then must I, as sea god, guard the Saint’s wife and offer protection to his nation!”

Ah, that lass, Platy.

Among mortals, she is ever so clever and capable, a worthy partner to the Saint indeed.

Her being of merfolk is an infinite advantage for Uncle Poseidon.

“Since the Saint himself did hail from another world and thus owe no fealty to any of us local deities, ’tis best we look to his closest companion. Hence let the sea god Poseidon serve as the guardian of the Saint’s kingdom!”

“Nay, nay, nay! I will not abide such nonsense! The sea god hath no business meddling upon land!”

With that, Hades bellows, and they commence their eternal quarrel.

‘Tis ever thus with those two, forever hurling the same contentions.

Yet one cannot blame them for clashing so fiercely.

Whosoever be chosen as guardian deity for the Saint’s kingdom shall surely receive the people’s devotion in full.

And with that faith cometh bountiful offerings.

Most of all, the gods crave the exquisite foods the Saint is known to conjure…

In the end, their squabbling is but a pursuit of culinary delights. How base they can be.

“Now is not the time to act philosophical, nincompoop. Dost thou know why I dragged thee here?”

Artemis scolds me.

To what end?

“Look yonder, at that pitiful figure from our own faction…lurking miserably in the shadows.”

What can she mean?

Following her gaze toward the bickering Hades and Poseidon...

...There it is.

Yes, a fait presence, sitting in silence. ‘Tis none other than our brother deity, Apollo, god of the arts.

What doth he do, merely sitting so?

“‘Tis obvious. He stands for us, the celestial gods, to insist that we guard the Saint’s realm,” says Artemis. “Any god would vie for a stake in such a kingdom. How foolish to forfeit the chance to claim it!”

Call it not ‘ownership.’

Such talk is precisely why folk do speak ill of us...

“And so Apollo is representing us in this council. Yet overshadowed by our uncles, he can neither plead his case nor find his voice. He is reticent by nature, and a spineless knave besides.”

What scathing words from his twin sister.

Then again, Artemis is the very incarnation of the prickly little sister.

“W-Who art thou calling prickly?! ‘Tis not as though I pity Apollo for being trapped between those old boors or anything like that!”

There it is.

“At any rate, if Apollo keeps silent, the celestial deities shall lose face. That is why I brought thee along! Thou art known for thy silver tongue, the trickster among gods if ever one existed. Indeed, that is thine only saving grace!”

The nerve of this goddess.

She may harbor a hint of tenderness for her twin, but for all others, she can be as venomous as a viper.

Still, I do share her view that we must not sit by idly while the Saint’s new kingdom is up for grabs.

The gain is far too great.

Truly, the delicacies the Saint doth produce—the food, the drink, the marvelous recipes—all too savory.

To be guardian deity is to feast upon these offerings daily…

...Just the thought makes mine own mouth water.

Indeed! We cannot let such sweet spoils pass to some other pantheon!

Very well. Let me handle this. I, Hermes, celebrated in the celestial realm as a master negotiator, a cunning wordsmith, shall prove mine own worth!

“That is the spirit! Now use thine talents as the patron of thieves and tricksters to their fullest!”

I do not preside over any such domain!

Accursed woman... How doth she truly perceive me?

Alas, no time remains to dispute. I, Hermes, must now stride forth into the fray.

“I beseech thee! Hermes, God of Wisdom from the celestial realm, would speak-”

“Begone, wretch!’”

Gaaaaaah!

Both Uncle Hades and Uncle Poseidom scowl at me in unison.

Such overwhelming might…

Truly, they stand as the mightiest among gods, second only to our buffoon of a father Zeus.

I can see how poor Apollo ended in dire straits, forced to spar with them.

Yet as the rightful heir among the younger celestial deities, he should have persevered…

“Nay…I have naught left after mine own grand pun was met with stony silence…!”

He is hopeless.

That he attempted an ill-timed jest amidst such tension doth show a twisted form of bravery.

Thus, all the more must I, Hermes the God of Wisdom, step in as the heavenly standard-bearer, to see us through this trial!

All for the sake of tasting the Saint’s delectable offerings!