#829 The Emperor Dragon Couple’s Bafflement

Today, like any other day, we have visitors.

The guests are... none other than the dragon couple, Ardheg and Bloody Mary!

It’s been a while since their wedding!

At that time, they held a grand ceremony along with numerous other couples.

As dragons, they became the first married couple, pioneers of a new way of life for their kind.

One could say they’re perfectly suited to be the Emperor and Empress Dragons.

Surely, Bloody Mary is admirably playing her role as the Emperor’s partner.

Just for clarity, when the Emperor and Empress Dragons visited, they arrived in their draconian forms but soon transformed into humans.

Such transformation is a common secret art among the mightiest of creatures, and even my farm hosts a dragon named Veil, who loves lounging around in her human form.

Emperor Dragon Ardheg is a sturdy and noble-looking gentleman in his human form.

Likewise, the Empress, Bloody Mary, dons a black, regal attire.

Standing side by side, they look like something out of a painting.

They are indeed a perfect match, as if they were destined to marry. 

And the reason for their visit today is...

“We want to live our separate ways!”

The dragon realm’s first couple is already facing a domestic crisis.

“Ardheg doesn’t love me anymore! If that’s the case, it’s over! To think dragons could nurture love was just a foolish dreammmmm!!!”

“Please don’t cry, Sis Mary...! My apologies, Lord Saint. With my sister in such a state, we have no choice but to seek your advice...!”

A weeping wife and a flustered husband.

This smells like trouble.

Sensing that, I slowly back away, hoping for a quick escape.

“You’re not getting away.”

Bloody Mary grabs me by the shoulder.

She was wailing just a moment ago, so how did she notice my escape attempt?!

“Listen to your guests! A beautiful woman is crying before you; shouldn’t you at least feel inclined to ask why?! This is why I can’t stand humankind!”

“Ah, well, I already have a wife of my own, so...!”

“Exactly! That’s why we came to you—to discuss just that!!!”

Huh?

I’m at a loss for words, unable to grasp the meaning of their visit.

What’s going on?

“Basically...! As proud dragons, we’ve come to ask you a question we find embarrassing...! What exactly is a marriage supposed to be?!”

Ah...

Like, philosophically, or?

I’m struggling to keep up with such an abstract question.

“Marriage is... being together in health and sickness, in highs and lows...?!”

“We’re not looking for abstract definitions! What we want to know is what mankind actually does when they’re married!”

...Meaning?

“You’re aware that dragons traditionally didn’t have the practice of forming marital bonds, right? but that’s changed drastically in recent years.”

The way of life for the strongest species, the dragons, has indeed changed significantly.

Their method of reproduction, or rather, self-propagation, was almost like cloning.

They would create dozens of their own copies, let them battle, and the last one standing would be the true next generation.

This was probably a method to ensure they never forgot the role bestowed upon them by the primordial god.

But recently, this role has disappeared, and dragons have begun to change their way of being a species.

They’ve started forming pairs as male and female dragons to procreate, like other creatures.

And the first couple to tie the knot after this change was none other than Emperor Ardheg and Empress Bloody Mary.

We all celebrated their union, hoping not just for their happiness but for the prosperity of all dragonkind...

But things don’t seem to be going too well.

“Um... what exactly happened?”

“Listen! Let me tell you just how terrible a husband he is!!!”

Bloody Mary sounds like a wife who’s been bottling up domestic grievances.

Ardheg... What did you do?

It hasn’t even been a year since you got married. Aren’t you two still supposed to be in your honeymoon phase...?!

“First of all, what does mankind usually do?”

“Do... Do what…?” I ask again, a bit puzzled by the vague question.

“You know, like how couples behave with each other once they’re married. It must be quite different from before the marriage, right? That’s why people get married in the first place!!!”

“I guess…?” 

...That’s how it usually is, yes.

“But this guy hasn’t changed a bit since we got married! He still calls me ‘Sis’ all the time! Do humans call their spouses ‘Sis’?! What’s the deal with that?!”

What to say to that? In human society, marrying your sister isn’t exactly common, to begin with.

Yet, Ardheg’s behavior is always like that, continuing to honor his beloved Bloody Mary as a sister rather than treating her as his due wife.

To be more specific...

They never go out, just the two of them...

He doesn’t introduce her as his wife when they meet people...

And, of course, no public displays of affection.

They even have separate bedrooms.

Frustrated with this, Bloody Mary finally had an emotional explosion.

Hence, their visit to my farm...

“Wait, please hear me out; I have my side of the story, too,” Ardheg stammered in his defense. “As you know, we dragons have never had the custom of forming pairs... We were solitary creatures. Not just marriage; we barely knew how to interact with others. Isn’t asking us to suddenly become an ideal couple too much?!”

But have you at least been making an effort?

After all, it’s been over half a year since the wedding. To have made no progress in that time...

“No! I’m a clumsy dragon! I can’t just suddenly do well in things I’ve never been good at before!!!”

Defensive much, Emperor Dragon?

“That’s why we need a role model for this ‘couple’ lifestyle! Someone to show us ‘this is how it’s done right,’ to strategize and work towards that ideal!”

“That’s right! That’s why we came here!!!” Bloody Mary joins in the uproar.

They really do seem like a fated pair, don’t they?

“Ardheg is being stubborn about this, so we’ve come seeking a good example! Saint! Show us what you’ve got!”

“M-Me?!”

“Yes, you! Everyone says you and your wife are the ideal couple! If that’s true, show us, who can’t even imagine what that ideal is like—a model to follow!”

So that was the purpose of your visit today?!

You want to learn from my married life?!

Hahaha... What a keen insight.

Married for many years!

My wife and I, who have two children together, are indeed the epitome of a couple!

Time to show off our lovey-dovey side and be an example for these young ones, right?

All right!

“Platy! Are you there, Platyyyy?!”

“Yes? What is it, Dear?”

I called out, and my wife Platy appeared from the back of the house!

My beloved life partner! 

“Let’s get lovey-dovey! We’re going to show these naive newlyweds how it’s done!”

“What are you talking about? Can’t you see I’m busy right now?”

Huh?

Platy seems a bit cold.

“I just got Junior and Norito to nap, and now I have to make potions, or else we won’t be able to supply Garra Rufa’s medical wing or Discus’ fermentation storage. You should stop playing around and get back to work, too.”

Oh no!

Is this the classic pattern of a couple growing distant as they get caught up in parenting, gradually losing the spark in their marriage?!

You know, that phase where you only see your wife as a mother, not as a woman – but surely, the reverse can happen for married women, too!

Could this be a creeping crisis in our marriage life?!

I shouldn’t be worrying about others!

I must recapture Platy’s heart with all my might and soul!!!