#828 Onions Once in a While

Humans sometimes remember to turn back to a health-conscious lifestyle.

I was vividly reminded of this after the recent sauna escapade.

Huh? It’s usual for women to get excited about diets, you say?

...That’s true.

But I also thought it might be good to pay attention to my health, focusing on a particular item.

Onions.

Everyone knows them – round with a slightly pointed top, looking like they might pierce something.

No matter how much you peel, there seems to be no end. And when chopped, inexplicably, tears just won’t stop.

They’re in almost every dish.

Meat and potato stew, curry, hamburgers, ginger pork, spaghetti, omelet rice, beef bowls, you name it.

Onions often sneak into junk food, don’t they?

And yet, they’re good for health.

I heard they detoxify, fiercely kicking out toxins from the body.

They also lower blood sugar levels and are effective in preventing lifestyle diseases.

They’re even said to boost metabolism and aid in weight loss... but if I keep talking like this, women will swarm over, so let’s not go there.

Humans occasionally remember to care for their health.

Today marks the day I awaken to health awareness!

I’ll return to my indulgent, lazy life tomorrow, but today, I’m all about health!

I’ll even chug a whole bottle of supplements for good measure!

That’s why I’ll eat an onion and get healthy.

Eat a whole one! 

Bite into it raw!

“Blewerugh...!”

Yikes.

Eating a raw onion whole is intense.

The spiciness and bitterness are no joke.

I mean, I already knew this before eating, so why did I still do it?

After that disaster, I finally moved to proper cooking.

First, peel the onion, chop off the top and bottom, and make a crosswise cut.

Place it on a plate, put a stick of butter on it, cover lightly with wrap, and microwave for three minutes.

Just that, and you get a delicious steamed onion!!!

Ah, wait.

There are no microwaves in this fantasy world.

What a dilemma.

The easiest cooking method becomes complicated when you’re transported to a fantasy world!

If only there were a microwave, it’d be so easy. I often made this dish during my bachelor times, changing the topping between ponzu sauce and noodle soup base depending on my mood.

No choice but to use a steamer, which is more of a hassle.

I’ve come to acknowledge the greatness of microwaves.

So, into the steamer goes the onion, steamed until it’s hot.

The melted butter seeps gently into the bulb, which becomes tender and soft due to its moisture.

When it’s ready, out comes a fluffy steamed onion!

“Looks delicious!”

And it is! 

The softly steamed onion gets more tender and meltier towards the center!!!

“It’s already this tasty AND healthy... What a dreamy ingredient...!”

Onions!

As I said before, they’re often found in junk food, making them even more precious.

A savior for unbalanced diets!!!

“Stop right there! Keep your hands off that devilish food, meowww!!!”

What’s that?

Turning around, I see a cat, fur bristling, hissing, and growling.

That’s a cat on full alert.

What’s wrong? There’s no danger here.

“There is, there is, there isssssss! That very thing you’re chewing! That’s the infernal food luring all cats to the netherworld, meowwwwww!!!”

What? Which one?

The onion?

Ah, I remember now.

I once heard that onions contain substances harmful to dogs and cats.

Sensing this instinctively, even Pochi comes over, wrinkling his nose and growling.

Okay, okay.

I won’t let you guys eat it, don’t worry.

I won’t even bring up that the Professor can understand human speech cause it’s too bothersome to explain all over again.

“Sniff sniff... Arghhhh! That distinctive, piercing smell of green onionssss! It irritates the back of my noseeee! Just one sniff tells me it’s dangerous, meowwww!... Sniff sniff.”

Stop sniffing it if you don’t like it.

But there are scents you hate but somehow can’t stop smelling, right?

On a serious note, though, please don’t eat it. The idea of an immortal king succumbing to onion poisoning is not funny at all.

I’ll store the onions where Pochi and the Professor can’t reach them...

Moving on, time to challenge myself with more onion recipes!

Chop the onions!

That’s it!

Store them in an airtight container in the fridge!

Then, when needed, sprinkle them on salads, ramen, or whatever.

That’s another strength of onions - they’re so easy to use!

But I won’t stop there—I’m going to chop the onions into oblivion until they’re practically dust and then hurl them into the frying pan!

And in goes the oil, too!

Then I’ll fry them until they’re a caramelized delight: behold, the perfect sautéed onions!

I’ll stash these in a tupperware (crafted from mana metal) and keep them chilled for later use!

If the mood strikes, you can toss them into soups or sprinkle them on pizza!

Next, I’ll take the sautéed, finely chopped onions, add some soy sauce, mirin, sugar, and a medley of other ingredients, and simmer them on medium heat until they’re gooey and luscious...

...Ta-da, Onion sauce!

It’s great over hamburgers or croquettes.

Grating the onions is also acceptable, but I wanted to maintain their bold presence this time, so I chose a method that keeps them more intact!

But grated onions mixed with vinegar, olive oil, soy sauce, sugar, and a bunch of other stuff stirred endlessly gives you...

...Onion dressing!!!

The perfect companion for any salad!

And then, there’s the pickled onions.

After concocting all these onion wonders...

“...I’m starting to get bored of this...”

Well, it’s no surprise. When you parade onions in every dish and fill your entire field of vision with them, it’s bound to give you heartburn.

Everything in moderation, right?

It’s about time to wrap this up.

Won’t some punch line come to save the day?

“The scent of food has drawn me here!!!”

And there it is.

It’s Veil.

Veil is the star performer of our farm when it comes to delivering the punch line.

Now is your time to shine and break this endless chain of onion dishes!!! 

“What’s this? Just onions? I never used them; they don’t pair well with ramen. It’s all about green onions for that.”

And with that, she bites into a raw onion, whole.

She goes for it, raw and uncooked.

“Bleblebleblebleh! It’s bitter and spicy! Vegetables really need to be cooked, don’t they?!”

And yet, that’s the exact opposite of what you’d expect from something inedible, whether boiled or roasted.

“Ungh...?”

“What’s up, Veil?”

With each bite of the onion, Veil seems more distressed.

...Could it be?!

Onion poisoning?!

Isn’t that something dogs and cats need to worry about?!

Whaaaaaaat?! Does that affect dragons, too?!

“Ahhhh! Antidote! We need an antidote nowwww! Hang in there, Veiiiiiiiiiiiiiil!!!”

Is this how it ends?!

I wish we could avoid such dramatics this season!

After a brief panic, Veil quickly recovers with her superior dragon vitality, even adapting her body to counter the onion’s toxin.

That’s a dragon for you.

Anyway, onions are good for your health.

Let’s aim to eat one a day.