#137 Gods‘ Banquet

It’s time.

Today’s the day for me to present my culinary masterpiece to Poseidon, God of the Seas.

“I’ve arrived, Lord Saint.”

“I’m counting on you, Sensei.”

Sensei, the Lifeless King, has arrived to summon the gods.

He’s benefitting from this role as it allows him to do his hobby without hesitation.

“The gods seem to have received the news as well and are currently on standby to be summoned from the divine realm. I’ve also received a list of gods who wish to be summoned in the oracle.”

“A list?!”

Does that mean Hades and Poseidon, the gods that came last time, won’t be the only ones descending?!

“It seems to be that way...”

I received the piece of paper from Sensei and saw the countless names of gods listed on it.

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Interested Earth Gods & Goddesses Who Wish to be Summoned:

Hades

Demetersephone

Rhadamanthys

Aecus

Minos

Nemesis

Thanatos

Hypnos

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Interested Sea Gods & Goddesses Who Wish to be Summoned:

Poseidon

Medusa

Amphitrite

Triton

Orion

Ketos

Chrysaor

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“Aren’t there way too many of them?!”

“We have Hades and Poseidon, two of the Three Realm Deities, their wife and children, retainers, and adulterous lovers along with their children.”

But why are their wives, children, retainers, unfaithful partners, and their children also included?

Isn’t it just supposed to be Hades and Poseidon?

“That just shows how much you’re becoming a celebrity among the gods, Lord Saint. Without further ado, I’ll summon them. Hyup!”

After Sensei chanted his incantation, a lineup of eminent beings appeared.

There were more than ten gods at once.

Their presence made our farm look so solemn; you’d start to think this was some divine gathering.

“O’ visitor from another world who is't shalt impart unknown knowledge to this world, thy continuous efforts art commendable.”

Oh no, that’s not it at all.

Plus, there’s no way I can ignore a god’s wish.

We’re now familiar with Hades, God of the Underworld, and Poseidon, God of the Seas. Still, today, we have other gods and goddesses with us.

For example, the two goddesses over there.

“Demetersephone! How has’t thee been?”

“As lively as ever, Amphitrite. Mayhaps even Poseidon wouldst not has’t timeth to indulge in an affair by nou?”

“Nay! That gent is promiscuous as he can get! Not as big of a fool as Zeus, though. I envy thy husband’s devoted spirit!”

The other deities from both the earth and the seas seem to have not heard from each other in a long while and are amicably renewing their old friendships.

They’ve started their get-together at our farm.

“Wait a minute!”

In the midst of all this, one person among us mortals triumphantly speaks up.

Their bold statement made me turn around, thinking, “Who has the gall to talk like that to the gods?” But of course, it was Letasreit, the princess of the Human Kingdom, who recently started living with us. She raised her hand in vehement objection.

I guess the human princess would have the gall.

She says fumingly, “Why isn’t the god of the heavens who protects our race not here when there’s a huge gathering of the earth and the sea deities?! Where’s our guardian deity, Zeus?!”

Now that she mentions it, having one person missing from the Three Realm Deities just doesn’t feel right.

“If I get to see Zeus in person and bring to his attention the plight of the human race, I’m sure he would send some help one way or another! But he’s not here! The earth and sea gods here, but not the one god we need the most!!!”

Letasreit seems angry about that specific point.

Hades, the God of the Underworld, and Poseidon, God of the Seas, say this in response, 

“Nay one loves that gent, so we didst not inviteth Zeus.”

“Correct. That gent is just going to crasheth this party, so we didst not inviteth Zeus.”

There are blunt through and through.

“Zeus is selfish and egotistical. That gent gets angry if’t be true that gent doesn’t receiveth the most wondrous treatment, and if’t be true things don’t wend his way, he’d starteth running amok.”

“If Zeus kneweth of this Elysium, he’ll belike wanteth to maketh this place his exclusive sanctuary, so we never ever wanteth to inviteth that gent.”

I could feel the honesty of their resolute intentions.

“Curses!!!”

After hearing that, Letasreit runs off crying.

Let’s just leave her alone.

The gods are the stars of today’s show.

“Good now, attention, everyone!” says Poseidon as he takes the lead and gathers everyone’s attention.

He seems to have quite a bossy personality.

“Thanketh thee for gathering at today’s Specialty Recognition Ceremony did prepare by the otherworlder under mine own sponsorship! We art deities of the earth and flote with whom we don’t usually has't much contact. Alloweth us all taketh this opportunity to maketh merry to our heart’s content and forge deeper bonds with one another!”

Luckily, he's doing great as the host.

“However, thee might not but never forget the purpose of this event! Our most wondrous otherworlder here with us the present day shall serve us delicacies yond shall roar across the earth and the flotes under mine own requesteth! I shall bestow praise and honor after we has't relished his feast!”

“Um... Please don’t raise the bar too high!”

If this were a manga, it'd be one of those tropes that will bring down the protagonist after praising him to the skies.

“Well, otherworlder, showeth us thy did finish dish of yours, hm? Thee understand, right? We cameth here after hearing the news!”

“I understand, Your Mightiness!!!”

Poseidon, welling with excitement, rushes me to offer him the cod roe I prepared.

Soaked in the red pepper’s extract, it glows red.

“It’s spicy cod roe.”

“W-What is this?!”

It seems even the gods are surprised by the appearance of a dish they’ve never seen before.

“I wast expecting some fish-based dish! instead, we receiveth this red, slim, and squishy thing... How off-putting! I cannot even bid what this is did suppose to beest!”

“Please give it a try.”

Poseidon, though confused, grabs the spicy cod roe with the chopsticks I gave him.

“Oh... It’s surprisingly easy to cutteth!”

He sure can use the chopsticks well.

“Are these tiny grains inside...eggs?! There art hundreds and thousands of roe clumped together!”

He stops reviewing its appearance and finally takes a piece of cod roe into his mouth.

“Vaaaaaaaaaaalorous!”

Thank goodness, he liked it!

I thought I would humiliate myself after he raised the bar too high, so I was anxious until the very last minute. Thank goodness this world isn’t ruled by cliches like that!

“I also made kamaboko from the remaining parts of the fish. Please, have it with your cod roe.”

Try it with some soy sauce, if you like.

I’d like to add wasabi, but our farm still doesn’t have the capacity to produce that.

“Vaaaalorous!!! This one is valorous as well!”

Yes!

“This gets a passing grade, certes! Both the cod roe and the kamaboko shall beest did regard as food of the gods from nou on.”

Would you please stop overusing that?

Rather than savoring cod roe on its own, it tastes even better when eaten with rice or spread on bread, or mixed together with pasta. The strength of spicy cod roe lies in its compatibility to go with all sorts of food!

We still can’t make pasta at our farm, though.

“I’ve prepared more such dishes, so please enjoy them, everyone.”

“Thee leaveth nothing to beest did desire, O’ otherworlder! In the nameth of god, I officially declare thee a saint! Drinketh up, gods, and maketh merry! We art celebrating this saint!”

After the gods were inspired by Poseidon’s ecstatic words, everyone started livening up.

“Give me this cod roe thing, too!!!”

“What I wanteth to consume is the bamboo-shoot rice highly did praise by Hades!”

“Actually, I wanteth to consume all of those folk! Bringeth them all in!!!”

And so, all the gods start demanding their preferred food.

Hold up.

Am I supposed to entertain all of them?

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Belike-most likely

Certes-without a doubt