The Scheme

[Time to switch things up: a little Wes and Charlie centered crack fic based on a request for if the gang decided to plan Kim and Ky's proposal out for them!]

It was a cool autumn afternoon. A rarity for Texas seeing as how our seasons typically go from summer to winter to summer again. It was a waste to not be outside enjoying it so the Kimrick Ranch planned on doing just that. Well, three of us at least. I was invited to lunch at the property’s resident cookout gazebo by Wes and the visiting Cassie.

'Charlie!' Wes called to me as he came strolling up to the covered patio table Cassie and I were sitting at. 'They didn't have pulled pork so I got you brisket, hope that's okay.' he said as he sat down across from me.

'That's fine,’ I assured.

I couldn’t help but notice he was in a fitted black tank top, the curve of his toned and tanned arm muscles in full view. His dark jeans also hugged his thighs more than I’ve ever seen on Kimrick, Dylan or the other cowboys. With his entire wardrobe seeming to be one size smaller than it should, could anyone fault me for stopping to analyze? I know he knows what looks good on him.

'They had my food, right?' Cass asked, grabbing the bag without waiting for an answer. 'Did James and Kylee not wanna join us?'

'They said they already ate.' I informed her as she opened up her foiled sandwich.

'They're lyin’,’ she sighed dramatically. ‘I don’t think James will ever forgive me for the Rocko incident.'

'Naah, don’t think that way, that was over a year ago. Anything he mighta said about you since then has never been bad.' Wes assured her. I nodded, digging into my sandwich.

'I don’t care, I still wanna make it up to them somehow.. Maybe I could plan their wedding.'

Wes and I almost immediately spit out our food choking and then burst out in laughter.

'What?! What's so funny?' she frowned.

'Nothin', they just don’t seem like the marriage type, that's all!' Wes wiped his mouth and took a swig from his water bottle. I tried not to stare at the bit of water that trailed down his lips, chin and neck.

'No way! They're never gonna get married?! Well, there's my goal, we gotta get them hitched if they ain't gonna do it themselves.’ Her tone had 180'd from disappointment to excitement in record time.

'Ha! Who would be the one to propose? Kimrick? I can't picture either of them gettin' down on one knee, really.' Wes laughed. I tried not to laugh at the thought of Kimrick and Kylee both down on one knee in front of each other.

'They don't have to, maybe we could stage it!' Cassie schemed up.

'No no, I don't think we should be interfering with whatever they have going on.' I hated to be the buzzkill but better to try to reign in those two loose cannons when I could.

'Well, there you go, if the set up works, we're heroes,’ Wes gestured to Cass, then to me. ‘And if we bomb, it'll be a pretty good joke!' Well, she won him over…

'Guys--' I started.

'Too late, you're outvoted! If it goes south, you claim innocence.’ Cassie clapped her hands together.

‘This is gonna be good! How would we set somethin’ like this up?' Wes asked, giving me zero time to object. You could read the excitement in his eyes from miles away.

‘Oh, I’ve seen a ton of ‘em online. Writin’ “will you marry me” in the sand is pretty popular but we're not near a beach.. Gettin' a helicopter with a banner seems kinda pricey..' Cassie thought out loud. She leaned back and crossed her arms in thought, this idea now proving to be more important than her lunch.

Wes looked down at his sandwich. 'What about one of them finding a ring in their food? I saw that on I Love Lucy once!'

'It's also been in every other romcom--' I started.

'That's it!! It's cheap, classic and all ya’ll have to do is throw a barbecue! Let’s plan for this weekend!’ Cassie beamed.

‘Guys, I hate to keep throwing water on this fire but engagement rings are pretty expensive!' I blurted before I could get cut off again.

'We’ll just get a cheap one! It don’t have to be official—just a basic band is like fifty bucks tops—we can split it three ways! Where’s the closest jewelry store?’ She pulled out her phone to start searching for stores. There was no shutting this down now.

'I can't wait to see the look of confusion on both their faces!' Wes laughed.

I sighed.

—

Wes and I found ourselves driving into town together for the local jewelry store that Saturday. Once entering the tiny shop we were greeted by the salesman and being the only customers in the store, began browsing around nonchalantly. Unfortunately from first glance the place was nothing but a tacky tourist trap… It was hard to find one section that looked even semi-normal. A lot of people like necklaces, bracelets and rings with rhinestone cowboy hats, Texas flags and cacti on them, I suppose.

'I still say this isn't a smart idea. Kimrick can still be kinda awkward about him and Kylee being a couple at the ranch sometimes, I dunno if drawing this much attention is the best thing to do. Hell, we don't even know what ring size either of them wear.' I whispered to him. The two of us stood over a glass case of ring bands.

'False information! I snooped through Kylee's jewelry yesterday and grabbed one of his rings. I'm sure the sales guy can tell us what it is.' Wes said, pulling out and proudly showing me a silver ring with a black skull on it.

'You went through his stuff?!’ I laughed in disbelief.

Wes wrapped an arm around me and grabbed my shoulder, laughing under his breath. ‘Like I always say, no price is too great if it means we're gonna have some fun!’

His infectious optimism made me feel less uneasy. How can this guy be so carefree? So quick to think this will play out without any terrible consequences. Life is one big game for him to enjoy. I felt my face getting warm and quickly pulled out of his grasp. I walked a few feet to the next display case and pulled out my phone to distract myself. Being honest, this wasn't the first time I had felt this way about the free spirit standing next to me.

‘Oh, Cassie texted me.’ I told him. ‘She says she can't meet us today because she got called in to work at the hospital. Well, we’re already here and the barbecue’s tomorrow..’ I was half hoping the plan would be called off.

'Aw man, I know she was excited meeting us up for this. Ah well, it's a Wes and Charlie lunch date now!' He just had to phrase it that way..

‘Oooh, this one’s perfect!’ he said. I glanced at what he was pointing to in the glass case in front of him. It was a gold band with a bright jade strip in the center and little yellow gems peppered around it. Okay how can a man that’s so fashion forward be so tasteless when it came to jewelry.. I tried to steer him from that gaudy piece.

‘What about the solid color one next to it? With the little star indentions on it? I kinda like that one.’ I told him.

‘That one it is, then, I trust your judgement.’ he smiled and immediately got he attention of the sales associate.

I simultaneously felt a twinge of happiness that he decided my choice was best and a twinge of regret that with me picking it out, I really am involved now.. Great.

—

The next day was the long awaited D-Day. It turns out the streak of beautiful weather was actually a curse as almost every ranch hand had shown up for the afternoon get-together including their significant others. There must have been 30 people in attendance as opposed to our usual 10 to 15. I would have been lying if I didn’t say my stomach was in knots. I wished I could’ve shared in Cassie and Wes’s giddiness but all I could think was that this would end in disaster with a thousand witnesses. It had been a rough week for cautious ol’ Charlie.

Wes kept busy preparing everyone’s food as planned and Cass was busy mingling and catching up with everyone. I didn’t have an assigned role. I sat at the corner table against the wall, surveying how we were to get out of this mess once the shit hit the fan. I knew Kimrick longer than either of them, how was I even letting this insane charade get this far? He wasn’t gonna find the humor in this at all.

‘Remember my first barbecue here?’ A voice asked me. I looked to my left and saw Kylee walking up to me decked out in all black per usual with soda can in hand. ‘I was sitting there alone and you were the one to come keep me company.’ he laughed and sat down next to me.

‘How funny.’ I mumbled.

‘Alright, what’s up, you can be quiet at times but not this quiet.’ he asked.

‘It’s nothing.. But.. Now that you’re here, I have a question. You love Kimrick, right?’

‘..Where the fuck did that come from?!’ Kylee laughed.

‘It’s just a question. Like could you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him?’ I asked, not sure where I wanted this conversation to go other than to feel out if he and Kimrick were in good spirits at that moment involving their relationship.

‘Like ‘till death do us part?’ Kylee joked.

‘No, I mean.. Yeah, I guess..’ I stuttered, taken aback by him bringing up marriage vows.

‘I dunno.. I wouldn’t even call what we have “love”. It’s more like a best friend you always wanna be around..? Like you get excited when you get to talk to him after a long day and then getting to make him laugh makes your day better and..’ he stopped. ‘Ew, you know what, scratch all that, that sounds way more fuckin’ sappy, we’ll just go with sure, love.’ He laughed at himself.

I couldn’t help but think.. Was that how I felt about Wes? I don’t think I’d trade getting to see his smile everyday for anything in the world.

‘Burgers are ready!’ Wes called out. This was it.

—

Wes and Cassie sat on each side of me as we at the back table watching Kimrick and Kylee at the table in front of us. I wasn’t hungry in the slightest but forced myself to eat to try to appear normal.

‘Should I be recording this?’ Cassie whispered.

‘No, that’d make it too obvious.’ I warned.

‘I can be pretty sneaky.’ Cassie busted out her phone anyway and pretended to be on it while the record button was pressed.

We waited with anticipation as each bite was taken by the couple until eventually.. Both of them finished their burgers.

We sat there in shock.

‘Did they eat the ring?!’ Cass turned to us in a panic.

‘I don’t know, it was pretty small..!’ I answered.

‘Guys… y’all are gonna kill me.’ Wes smiled nervously. ‘..The ring is in my pocket.’

‘IT’S WHAT?!’ Cass shouted. That outburst caused a few ranch hands to turn our way before turning back to their meals.

‘Oh thank god.’ I sighed under my breath.

‘I musta forgot, I had like 50 burgers to make and I was talking to everyone and..!’ He held the gold band up for us to see.

‘How could you forget, this was the whole reason we’re here!!’ Cass panicked. ‘Uuugh never trust a man to do a woman’s job. Give it to me, I’ll go put it in one of the cookies over there and hand it to them!’ She held her hand out.

‘What if they think it’s from you?’ Wes shot back.

‘Dangit!! This whole thing was so perfect..’ she buried her head in her hands in frustration, realizing the plan was doomed

‘It’s okay, the attempt was made, it’s too late now. Just enjoy your food.’ I said to comfort her.

‘I was gonna be flower girl, though…’ she pouted. Wes and I laughed.

The weight was finally off my shoulders.

—

The party ended around sunset and only a few of us were left at the gazebo. Wes volunteered for clean up which made me volunteer. Dylan and two college interns happy to try and make good impressions also stuck around to help put things back the way they were.

Wes held out a trash bag while I dumped in the stacks of used paper plates and plastic silverware. ‘I’m sorry I messed it all up today..’ he sighed.

‘Why are you apologizing to me?’ I laughed. ‘This was all you and Cassie’s idea.’

‘Maybe so but we roped you into it, too. You took time out of your day to go all the way to the jewelry store with me an’ everything.’

‘I don’t mind hanging out with you, Wes.’ I assured him.

‘Well good, same! Speaking of, I guess we’d better return the loot, huh? Hope they give refunds.’ he fished in his pocket once again and pulled the ring out, studying it in the sunset’s orange glow. ‘Actually, give me your hand.’

‘Why?’ I asked and lifted my arm enough for him to grab my wrist and pull me closer to him.

‘You picked it out, right? Consider it yours!’ It was then he delicately slipped the ring on my ring finger. My eyes widened as I pulled my hand back, looking down at it to avoid making eye contact with him. My heart was starting to somersault almost as much as my stomach had earlier.

He patted me on the back lovingly and chuckled under his breath, then slung the trash bag over his shoulder and headed over to throw it in the designated wheelbarrow.

I stood there for a second, staring at the ring. Eventually I looked up, smiling with a warmth I hadn’t felt in a long time.

END