tredlocity

EULA

Garla: There, that wasn't so bad, was it?

Space Dread: By firing that gun, I, and not BlastoWare Industries, am now considered a war criminal in twelve different planetary systems.

Garla:

Space Dread: Whatever, I'll just drive around them.

Doris' Secret

When Doris first developed fear, she took the entire day off to ride every ride at the local amusement park. She found roller-coasters pretty enjoyable, but it was the claw machine that scared her the most, since she really wanted one of the stuffed animals and only had three tokens. This is also where she first developed financial anxiety.

Onlookers

The Onlookers have a duty to record everything they've onlooked, so that the other onlookers who were too busy to onlook at things live can catch up. Then they talk about all the things they've onlooked the next day, listing their favorite parts and theorizing what will happen next.

Moral

Little did Hunter know, the shades were possessed by the ghost of Party Man Zilzycx, a cool ghost who deliberately acts like a jerk towards the real friends of whoever wears the shades, so that they learn a lesson about being yourself. Because real coolness is found in honesty and kindness.

This one's also about knitting. I had two knitting jokes.

Ever since they've mastered Quantum Wizardry, the cat people of Felinius 7 wouldn't stop playing with the thread of reality and accidentally untangling its fabric. They've also scratched the sofa of time, dropped the vase of logic from the shelf of reason, and neglected to use the litter box.

Knitting

"Dying to achieve immortality is the ultimate irony." - Lich Proverb

"Sincerity is for the living." - Lich Proverb

"It's fine if you want to do it, just do it in a way that's kinda winky and tounge-in-cheek." - Lich Proverb

"Like, you can enjoy it, but as long as you acknowledge it's silly, then you're still being ironic." - Lich Proverb

"Alright, okay, this one thing is cool. Let's all agree this one thing is the thing we're sincere about. But all the other stuff we'r...

Lessons from Parents

Isaac still hums "To cut wood, you need an axe. To cut rock, you need a pickaxe." when he was battling a treewyrm and a boulder beast years later. Of course, neither of these is relevant, since he defeated them by magically opening a mini black hole to banish them into the void, but he appreciated the lesson nonetheless.

Teen Rebellion

"Bria's mom's magazine says that teens will do a teen rebellion and that's a way to become adult so I wanna do it now so I can be adult faster so I can drive a spaceship."

"Are you gonna pay taxes, too?"

"I'm not gonna need taxis cause I have a spaceship."

Hug it out

Ted is a gas being contained inside the balloon, so getting popped didn't really kill him. It did annoy him that Cactus Carl fell for it, though, and it cause a major rift between the two friends. The didn't speak to each other until three years later, when they were reunited at their old captain's funeral. The two became friends again soon after, promising that they will never hug again.

Never Have I Ever

Space Dread has never broken every bone of someone trying to flirt with her. She always leaves at least one intact, because she respects anyone brave enough to approach her.

The Therapist Suggested A Space Cruise

At that very second, Minnow was in fact being hit by a supernova. She is frantically piloting her ship to avoid the explosion while also trying to come up with a fake story to tell her dads on their daily call later.

Maybe something about going to a fairy planet and meeting a fairy princess, who is hosting a tea party and nothing bad happens? No, that's too obvious. There needs to be some form of peril to make it believable.

What if the fairy princess ohmigod the...

Lycanthropia

The Lycanthropia Ministry of Tourism advises that people stay indoors during their visit if they are:

• Sensitive to flashing lights, due to the rapid day/night cycle.
• Vulnerable to werewolf attacks, due to the werewolves.

Chromatophores

The Sapphire Angels were a Cephalopian pop girl band known for their trademark blue skin. They travel around the galaxy in their talking space van, performing in various worlds. Their entourage includes their robot manager, their robot manager's sister, their space cat, a ghost shark, and also a caveman.

In addition to doing concerts, they also sometimes get roped into zany adventures involving some villainous plot that they'd have to thwart. This usually involves running around and doi...

Jerry

Being hospitalized made Jerry appreciate life more. He quit his job and started an alt-rock-rap fusion band with his old high school friend and his barber. They got fairly popular among middle-aged men, but they stopped after realizing it was a lot more work with very little gratification.

Fortunately, his old position at the office was still open, since only a week has passed. Jerry is now back at sales like before, but Jerry's Streetsmiths still performs on weekends and offic...

Ramp

"Oh, and of course she expects me to come to work tomorrow with this thing. Does the mall have ramps? No! I'll have to go through the maintenance shafts the automated vacuum cleaners use to move between floors."

Gloves

Among Isaac's gifts that his dad uses every day are the fire hammer, the super strength gloves, and an ordinary word-of-the-day calendar Isaac bought at a spaceport once.

Kyle

Kyle's slogan was "Once you're Kyle, you'll stay awhile" which sounds misleadingly temporary, since being Kyle is a permanent endeavor, but he doesn't really need to convince you once you're in.

Coffee Creamer

"So, you're saying that if I ask for a dragon, you will provide one for me?"

"If you believe one is required, then yes-"

"I believe a dragon is required for this job."

Poker Face

Doris got that printer body a few years ago to show solidarity with the workers of a local voice box manufacturer who were on strike. Their slogan was "We make your voices, listen to OURS." Most of the local robot population switched to printers and text for a week to show how important voice boxes are.

Doris wanted to get the text screen because she didn't want to waste paper, but they were expensive.

Fair Point

The Carnalax people live by a code of pure love. That means they love everything, including being victims of theft. That said, they also love getting their stolen artifacts back, as well as punishing the thieves who stole them. To outsiders, it is indistinguishable from the behavior of people who do not live by that code, but it is only because the Carnalax concept of love is much more complex and layered. They love not explaining it to anyone.

Discord Integration

You may have noticed that I added Discord intergration now! Please note that the Discord gets comics later than the Patreon, so don't discuss the ones that haven't been released publicly there outside the Patrons Only channel (it's the one called Secret Patron Chamber).

Action

Isaac hates drinking anti-magic because while it does gives him immunity to magic, it also prevents him from using magic himself.

"Imagine your limbs being tied up, but like they're limbs that are in your brain, so imagine if your brain limbs got tied up." is how Isaac describes the feeling of not being able to shoot fire out of his hands.

Impress

Doris' entire detective programming is mostly used to detect shoplifters, which she doesn't even report because whatever it's just a candy bars and soda who cares.

The Sales Tax Thing

Hey, in case you haven't heard; starting July 1st, Patreon is gonna start adding sales tax to some patrons' pledges. If you’re in a location where sales tax will be required, you should receive an email from Patreon with more info about this soon.

Depending on where you are, the tax will be 4% to 11%. Since I only have the $5 tier, it will be 55 cents at most.

Thank you for your support!

Online Research

Three hundred and twenty six of those variations of golf has been deemed cruel and unusual to its players. The Xerinth government is hard at work trying to crack down underground shelves of the golf section that sells equipment for these versions.

One of the bigger golf equipment raids was adapted into a movie starring Lexinus Vort. Lexinus Vort first rose to fame when he played Jammy, the Wixons' plucky neighbor in the hit family sitcom, A Wixon Week, which ran for 12 seasons ...

Cliffhanger

The people of Sangnuk 5 have a word for tourists from higher-gravity worlds who pretend to fall off their cliffs; Fauxfallers. For the longest time, the locals showd contempt towards fauxfallers, calling them "embarassing" and "so cringe."

Then one day, they opened a hyperspace express lane to Binro R-T, a planet 3 systems away with even lower gravity than Sangnuk 5. It is on the vast cliffs of Binro that the Sangnuk travelers discovered the joys of pretending to fall off cliffs.

...

Monthly Appointment

This comic was originally just a dumb doodle I made for fun.

 I reworked the comic so that at least more things happen in it. Also, in both versions, Madison didn't make the swim team. Sorry, Madison.

Prom Photos

Twitch was kicked out of prom for punching a guy who called Third Era Singer-Sorcerer Juff Sparkleton, whom they were cosplaying that night, a bard. Isaac was allowed to stay, but he left early and hung out with Twitch at the frog pond, instead.

Reflection

Her guesses are always off by 3.8 pounds. The other carnies would tell her to just add 3.8 each time, but she never does it.

Only the lost daughter of the king can accurately guess a person's weight every time. And this is not her. No, she is a mere commoner, enjoying a humble life outside the palace walls, away from responsibilities, free to live her life.

Cybernetics

The upper right eye shoots poison darts.

The lower right eye is a coffee dispenser.

Her cloak didn't catch fire because it's fireproof.