regularfeatures posts from patreon

251: Makes Meow Difference To Me!

Howdy Paychez. That's what I am calling the Patrons now. Paychez. My sweet peachy Paychez. Love you bops!

We've gone cat crazy in this, the episode of Regular Features that features precisely one feature about cats. This week, Steve reviews several cats from a documentary he watched while cradled in the arms of fellow film critic and large-bladdered silver fox Mark Kermode. And Matt takes us all on the speed chase of a lifetime. You have to listen to believe it.

Please come to our next l...

2017-07-20 17:00:11 +0000 UTC View Post

250: The Quarter Millennium Live Show

250 episodes and we still haven't found a feature worth repeating. There's only one thing for it...to carry on our brave search for ANOTHER 250 EPISODES!!

We're not charging you for this one because we love you so much for supporting us all these years (and because the quality of the recording was utter shite but mostly the love thing!)

Grab yourself a ticket for our next live show on August the 7th at the Canal Cafe Theatre: 2017-07-13 19:46:15 +0000 UTC View Post

249.5: Steve's Big Job Interview

Steve thought he was heading to Gav and Joe's office for a simple Regular Features goodtime recording party sesh. Little did he know that he would soon be amidst the most grueling, invasive job interview of his absolutely tiny life, and might be dead before it was all over.

Also, I think we miscounted how many episodes we had to go before the big 250 live show, so just shut up about it.

2017-07-06 09:42:24 +0000 UTC View Post

249: Kenyan Arsehole Replacement

Gav is in Kenya. No one knows why. Honestly it probably doesn't even matter.

2017-07-01 11:45:37 +0000 UTC View Post

248: Big Boys' Nude Legs No Go

Log, Steve and Joe got together, took their shorts off and shouted into a microphone for just ages. Enjoy.

2017-06-22 16:58:13 +0000 UTC View Post

247: This One's Just Log and Steve

Hey there Patrons! Sorry, this one's just Log and Steve talking for absolutely ages about these four things exclusively:

- Idle animations
- Roger Helmer
- Whales
- Salad

Hope you're having a nice day!

2017-06-15 23:07:05 +0000 UTC View Post

246: Escaping Houdini's Van

2017-06-08 13:50:56 +0000 UTC View Post

Regular Features: The Quarter Millennium Weekender

Patreons! We have an honest-to-goodness live show coming up in Nottingham and YOU are invited. All of the details are here:

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/regular-features-the-quarter-millennium-weekender-tickets-34660223662

As our most loyal and beautiful readers, you get first dibs on tickets, and your ticket will buy you a drink from Log's pub. T...

2017-06-03 14:16:18 +0000 UTC View Post

245: Good Boys With Bad Haircuts

What happens when good boys get bad haircuts? Find out in this thrilling 245th episode of the podcast professors are calling "immensely fruity".

2017-06-03 14:14:59 +0000 UTC View Post

244: Collapsing Cum and Tory Scum

Matt has been on HONEYMOON, Joe wants to rekindle things with an old friend, and Log has a quiz so you can work out what type of Conservative voter you are.

2017-05-25 08:25:53 +0000 UTC View Post

243: The Gavin Murphy Special

DON'T WORRY WE'RE NOT CHARGING YOU IT'S FIIIIINE

We couldn't get together this week, so we have finally completed the compilation circle. You've heard him, you've smelled him, he's probably touched you. It's the best of Gavin John Bachgen-Gors Murphy, Regular Features' most reliably violent member. AND THAT'S JUST HIS DI-

2017-05-18 11:14:50 +0000 UTC View Post

242: Oh La La Mon Booby Gauche

Hey there Patrons! We're organising a special episode 250 live show in Nottingham in July, and YOU'RE INVITED. Keep an eye on the Patreon page for NEWS and UPDATES.

In this episode, Steve gives you hot praying tips. Log bids farewell to Marine Le Pen. Joe tells the harrowing story of a man he met who bellowed an entire scream into the sky.

At one point in this episode we say "homonym" when we in fact meant "homophone", d'oh!!!

We love you!

2017-05-11 22:48:42 +0000 UTC View Post

241: Escaping Victoria Wood's Heimlich Festival LIVE

This is for YOU, sexy Patreon people. We love you all!

This week's episode ends with a feature that's good enough to show your Mum...especially if she looks like Victoria Wood.

2017-05-04 07:18:42 +0000 UTC View Post

240: The Regular Features Book Club

Joe solves a viral mystery. Log laments fart injustice. Both read other people's books instead of really putting the work in. Gav attends.

2017-04-27 20:36:39 +0000 UTC View Post

239: Learn To Speak Welsh Rabbit

Hey there Patron Peters and Patron Patricias, it's a hot new guzzlesworth of that neat-o podcast you like. In this episode, Matt has watched Watership Down and now he loves rabbits. Gav teaches unwilling students to speak French or Welsh or something. Steve continues to fascinate.

We've got a live show coming up on May 1st, which we'd like you to come to and say hello to us at, if you like! It's at the Canal Cafe Theatre. Look it up, bozos!

2017-04-20 21:25:34 +0000 UTC View Post

238: And the BAFTA for Best Bircher Goes To...

Listen, Gav forgot he was editing this episode until THE SECOND YOU'RE READING THIS. If we say anything bad about anyone, do us a favour and don't tell anyone, yeah?

2017-04-14 11:08:47 +0000 UTC View Post

237: Live with Puppets and Popes

Log takes us on a puppet-based snooker adventure, Joe has been watching terrible things, Steve wants us to visit a pyramid I think, and Matt walks into a teleportation device.

Thanks so much for your support, as ever. Sorry we had to get the pope to come and apologise. xxx

2017-04-06 13:31:50 +0000 UTC View Post

236: Choose Your Own Brexit

Matt and Log and Steven unite on the eve of "Britain's Worst Decision Since Spam" for a flurry of Brexit-related tosh.

2017-03-30 10:31:40 +0000 UTC View Post

235: Broke Straight Beasts

Hello you desirable bunch of Patron lovelies. Here's a new episode! We did it all by ourselves. Boopity boop! We love you. Teehee.

INSIDE: Gavin escapes from New York. Matt inflicts a bad television show upon himself and you. And Steve gender-swaps a ripe old Disney stinker.

2017-03-23 22:46:52 +0000 UTC View Post

234: Silly Squid's Birthday Church

HOOT HOOT

That is the sound of an owl AND one of those party blower birthday trumpets and if that's not the best summation of this episode then perhaps you would care to imagine a church doing push-ups.

2017-03-16 11:32:33 +0000 UTC View Post