372 Pages We ll Never Get Back

280 Mysteries We'll Never Get Back #6 - The Case of the Skunk Ape

Mike & Conor are traveling to Nashville next week to discuss Dalmatian Eugenics (and put on a little live show) but we are recording the next Starlight Barking ep right before we go on Monday. But to hold you until then, here's another diabolic mystery concerning Idaville's very own cryptid, the legendary SKUNK APE! It also, for the third time since we started doing these, involves a pilfered str...

280 Mysteries We'll Never Get Back #5 - The Case of Bugs Meany, Detective

Does Mike's percentage go up or down? Does Bugs' percentage go up or down? Does Sally kick the living **** out of anyone? You'll have to listen.

Episode 148 - The Starlight Barking Ep 1: Dalmatians Be Whooshing

The first full episode of The Starlight Barking goes in, shall we say, some unexpected directions. Lots more talk of pure bloodlines and hastily assembled coups than we expected in the sequel to 101 Dalmatians. Fortunately there's also a healthy amount of whooshing, humping, and implied scooting thrown in! And that's just by Conor during a surprisingly challenging Real or Fanfic segment!

Note: Mike's microphone encountered some issues that resulted in reduced a...

280 Mysteries We'll Never Get Back #4 - The Case of the Frightened Witness

Witness Intimidation is all the rage in Idaville, as Mike tries to solve the most insanely diabolical "mystery" the boy detective and your hosts have encountered so far. Sobol, you monster!

Ep 147 - Book 25 announcement!

Let's figure out what the TWENTY-FIFTH book we're going to read together will be, but first, Conor quizzes Mike on some direct to VHS Real or Fanfic.

Link to buy Book 25: https://amzn.to/3NQG5S7

Reading Assignment: Thru Chapter 4

280 Mysteries We'll Never Get Back #3 - The Case of the Balloon Man

WOW! Mentions of Garrett P. Serviss, the phrase "a lick and a promise", balloon clowns, kidnapping and Reverends. Also, find out if Mike improves on his .500 record of solving E. Brown mysteries.

80 for Brady is only the beginning!!!

An exciting announcement. Conor is away but I can't imagine he'll be anything but thrilled when he gets back!!

80 for Brady Real or Fanfic

Yes, I watched it. I explain why. And how. And you have work to do. With the FanFic thing...

280 Mysteries We'll Never Get Back #2 - The Case of Merko's Grandson

Mike did pretty well in his first attempt to solve an Encyclopedia Brown mystery. But will he be able to match wits with Idaville's most famous boy detective and crack The Case of Merko's Grandson? Take a listen and find out!

Artemis meme contest winners

As always, we got a ton of great memes, pretty much all of them were more clever than anything in the actual book. Lots of condom and gravity related topics, which would not have been a sentence we expected to write when we began the book. Congrats to our winners: Theodore and Kaitlynn! Please email us 372pages@gmail.com and include your contact info so we can send you a prize!

EDIT: Forgot to include a link to the gallery ...

The 372 Pages Andy Rooney Game

As mentioned in the Artemis ep we just posted, and with all respect to the inventor, Joe Mande, loyal jackals Stephen & Kayla made Andy Rooney game images with the first and last sentence of every book we've covered on here. Outstanding work!

Imgur gallery if that works better for you: https://imgur.com/a/G6wLrbf

372 Pages Ep 146 - Artemis - Ep 5

We finished Artemis! And we ranked Artemis as compares to all the other books covered in this podcast: you won't believe what happens next!!

And we're just going to get ahead of it: Chekov's re-usable condom does not pay off.

There's some mail from listeners as well, and one of them brings us up to date on Mike's Real or Fanfic stats. I don't think anyone is going to be impressed.

372 Mini - 280 Mysteries We'll Never Get Back Ep 1 - The Case of the Glass of Ginger Ale

Conor reads to Mike a thrilling chapter of the classic 80s (well, 60s, I think) child detective anthology Encyclopedia Brown and challenges him to solve it! Will he? You'll have to listen.

Artemis Meme Contest

Alright, let's see those Moon Memes people! Post a link to your best artemis meme, then come back and vote for your favorites by Liking them. We'll send a prize to the top vote getter as well as a judge pick!

372 Pages Ep 145 - Artemis - Ep 4 - Dale and Bob and Loretta and Welding

The penultimate episode! Mike's final attempt at Real or Fanfic has to compete with those red-hot references to Emily Post! Listener's weigh in and there are Dumb Sentences of the Week.

A Timely Antigua Mail Bag

A letter from a listener gives fresh insight into Denise and Larry.

372 Pages Ep 144 - Artemis - Ep 3 - Rudy Explained, Kinda!

In this episode:

• Spontaneous jackals bearing conspiracy theories
• Conor's appearance on Jeopardy? Premonition?
• Insanely difficult Real or Fanfic
• Dumb Sentences of the Flexible Time Period

And much more, including this general question for readers / listeners: are we supposed to like Jazz?!

READING ASSIGNMENT: Through chapter 14

[NOTE: Probably goes without saying, but our protagonist swears a goo...

Forrest Gump watch party audio

So last night we watched Forrest Gump with about 150 of you. Turns out that watching a movie in sync over the internet with a bunch of people around the world is still rather tricky, even for a website that purports to be solely dedicated to making this type of event possible!

But thanks to those of you who stuck with us, hopefully it was as fun on your end as it was on ours, once we got relatively in sync.

Here is the unedited audio for our end. We could clean it up and take out ...

Forrest Gump watch party

Join us at 8PM on Scener for some old fashioned ASSIN AROUND.

Details in the post below this, but as a refresher you'll need:

1. a Scener account

2. install the chrome browser plugin (it will tell you about this when you sign up)

3. The movie is free if you have Prime Video, or you can rent it

372 Pages Watches Gump

Well to be honest, we never thought it would happen but 1000 of you were determined to prove us wrong. So we're going to watch Forrest Gump (Mike for the FIRST time), tomorrow, Tuesday 5/16 at 8PM eastern.

Here are the details. You may not like them, and they may not work, but as far as we can tell it's the easiest way for us to do this legally.

1. We will be watching using Scener. We have used this f...

372 Pages Ep 143 - Artemis - Ep 2 - Sean Meets the Morals Brigade

There is nothing that could prepare you for the, ahem, choices Mr. Weir makes in these chapters so may as well dig in. 

Though we will say Mike slightly improves his fortunes in Real or Fanfic.

ASSIGNMENT: Read through chapter 10

Bonus - Artemis Mailbag!

You had thoughts about Artemis that we weren't able to fit into Episode 1, so lets read your letters.

Classical Mini - Mike's Utter, Horrible Failure

I'm a huge fan of humiliation. I suspect you are, too. I know you'll love this.

372 Pages Ep 142 - Artemis - Ep 1

What if Garrett P. Serviss dictated a story to Ernest Cline? We think it would go a little something... like this.

NEXT ASSIGNMENT: Read through chapter 6.

Bonus! - Forrest Gump Watch Party Unlocked!

Aha - but that's not all! Conor's allergy's are discussed AS ARE the sock puppeting of an 18th century Italian composer. So, pretty much a home run, can't-miss ep.

Episode #141 - Book 24 (for real)

Alright, NOW it's time for Book 24! This one did very well in our Patreon poll a few years ago, so we're excited to finally tackle it. But first, Mike listens patiently while Conor rants about Goombas or something.

Get the book here

Assignment: Read thru Chapter 3 

On second thought...

Hey folks, Conor here. Some listeners called some stuff to our attention and Mike and I both think it's for the best if we don't cover Sky Fighters on the podcast. Don't think it would be good form. Slightly longer explanation in the audio file above. Sorry to have to do this after many of you bought the book, but hopefully if you so desire you can take advantage of their generous return policy.

Truly sorry to have this happen, we'll be back with something to read FOR REAL very soon. 2023-04-06 18:46:53 +0000 UTC View Post

Ep 140 - Mostly Homegirls Chips Discussion

EDIT: Turns out we're not going to cover this book. We'll pick another one in short time. Apologies, and thanks for bearing with us!

Let's start our 24th book! This one came from loyal jackal Jeff, who sent it unannounced, claiming it's like "if Larry & Denise wrote Armada but made it about Pokemon." Consider us intrigued!

We haven't read a word yet, but the book summary, as well as the author's description of how he was inspired to write it, are incredible. Then it mostly dev...

Edison's Conquest of Mars- BONUS- Mail Bag

We didn't have enough time for JackalMail in our final Edison episode, so let's get everyone caught up to date on crazy pyramid theories, entomologists who need better taste in books, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, Mike's updated Real or Fanfic stats. Some pics of old dead guys we mention are below.

New book coming soon, another listener recommendation and wow, it looks like it's gonna be a good one!

2023-03-27 12:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post

Episode 139 - Edison's Conquest Ep 4 - Suddenly!

WOW! Really no words to describe the insane events in the final chapters of Edison's Conquest of Mars, but we can attempt to sum it up with one syllable; Tom.

No Real or Fanfic here but as a bonus you'll get Conor's reimagining of this stone classic:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXmShIyjJvg