Minion Death Cult

Be thankful you get to go home! Be thankful you have a job!

This week we visit the bizarre terrain that is the American bootlicking work ethic, where employees working 13 hour days are lazy and overpaid, where companies are celebrated for allowing you to return home at the end of the day.

We're discussing an Amazon delivery driver who quit on route in a viral tweet, and the mountain of small business owners, retirees, and bootlickers who descended to defend Jeff Bezos

"Hey, we sound like white supremacists"

This week we cover the reaction to the NFL announcement that they'll be playing Lift Every Voice and Sing, aka "the Black National Anthem" before Week 1 games. Most conservatives predictably lose their shit, but a couple grifters realize they may have taken things a bit too far.

Also, the state of Rhode Island might change its name to Rhode Island, and this is only the beginning probably

Music: Funkadelic - One Nation Under A Groove

We should have picked our own cotton

Texas Realtors change their in-house terminology from "master bedroom" to "primary bedroom" over "connections to slavery." We laugh about how dumb this is, but also, civil war time.

A photo of the Seattle Jimi Hendrix statue being tagged in 2013 goes viral, and angry facebook commentators are forced to reckon with just how low BLM will go.

Music: Merauder - Master Killer

Any white person would have to be insane to go to a fast food "restaurant" right now.

This week we spend a lot of time on the Egg McMuffin crying cop and explore a rich vein of conservative thought, including:

"CIVIL WAR!!!"

"Please let me feed the beautiful McMuffin maiden"

"I spoke with my local McDonald's manager all about this"

Also, 

Conservatives react to the recent ruling protecting gay and trans workers from being fired for their identity and or/orientation

Music: Uzeda - Deep Blue Sea

Get in the Zone

This week Alex gives dispatches from the CHAZ, debunks some rumors, and we go over some incredible right wing responses to the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone

Also, the TV shows "Live PD" and "Cops" get canceled (postponed?) in the wake of the George Floyd protests. After reading these comments, it becomes clear why that's such a good idea.

Music: Mclusky - The World Loves Us And Is Our Bitch

I have 4 grandkids and love to show pictures of them....scary that i will be forbitten to show how proud I am of their achievements....

A grandmother is ordered to remove photographs of her grandchildren from facebook, and Krist Novoselic from Nirvana praises Tump's authoritarian response to the anti-police protests

Music: Nirvana -  School 

Who was filming this and not saving the dog???!!!

This week: just a few thoughts and Bad Reactions to the protests in Minnesota before moving on to our main topics:

A white woman tries to call her personal assassination squad on the black guy asking her to use a leash, and people are very upset about her treatment of the dog.

Also, how come Skittles can do a gay pride candy coating but not a digital camo coating, for the troops

Music: Torche - Kiss Me Dudely

2020-05-29 14:57:22 +0000 UTC View Post

Isis was selling off the artifacts anyway. Blaming Hobby Lobby is like blaming the crack user instead of the dealer

Trump accuses Joe Scarborough of murder on twitter, so Nancy Pelosi fires back and accuses Trump of having "Doggy Doo" on his shoes. We look at completely deranged responses from republicans and liberals alike, some of which are striking similar.

Also, Hobby Lobby is forced to forfeit the Gilgamesh Dream Tablet they purchased from Isis probably, and we get some amazing ruminations on religion, sexual orientation, and the drug war (?)

Music: Triclops! - Iraqi Curator

To make it even simpler watch the movie American Sniper

This week Cait Raft (@CaitRaft) and Drew Spears (@DrewSpurs) from This Podcast Is Self-Care join us for a classic episode of Minion Death Cult, meaning that we discuss facebook death threats against a child.

Isra Hirsi, daughter of Ilhan Omar, started a narrow but extremely deep firestorm when she called American troops "bitches" who support imperialism overseas (correct)

Also, A college student writes an editorial in Law Enforcement Today about how Arizona is committing white gen...

Seal Team Piss

This week: right-wing comment sections sound off on two of their own LARPing would-be vigilantes getting captured by Venezuelan fisherman, including conspiracy theories, counterfactuals involving beloved fictional characters, and other entertaining rationalizations

Also

A dancer performs a pole routine for polish children, and Terrence K Williams cannot believe what he is seeing. WHERE ARE THE DADS?

Music: Tortoise - Blackjack

A Good Lesson to Learn

This week: Liberals call for Chris Hayes' head as he becomes the first msnbc host to seriously cover the Tara Reade story

and

A viral, uplifting facebook video about a drunken cop totaling his cruiser into a semi trailer.

Music: Pentagram - Lazy Lady

Assassin 33 AD w/ Street Fight Radio

In one of our longest, funnest episodes, we're talking with the Street Fight boys about an insane piece of christian film in which "the world's most famous refugee," a secret islamic extremist, funds the creation of time travel in order to assassinate Jesus Christ.

watch it here for free: https://youtu.be/uhlMNSd4Fsk 

Music: Westside Gunn - Allah Sent Me

Kyle & Karen

Karen & Kyle

music: My Bloody Valentine - Only Tomorrow

I hereby pledge my support to Joe Biden. While he has raped a woman, so have most American men

This week we cover the various aspects of Bernie Sanders dropping out of the race and the subsequent reactions:

Liberals forcing us to choose the better "pizza" on the menu, thanking the stock market for supporting Joe Biden, and supporting Joe Biden's candidacy as accelerationism for rape culture.

Music: Autolux - Sugarless

This governor needs to go in for emergency surgery & have his chest slit open without any meds & have his heart slowly removed cause he don't deserve to live

This week we discuss a viral post about abortion care in the time of pandemic, and the conservative response.

Also, an engineer tries to hit a hospital ship with his train to "cause awareness" for, uh, something. 

Music: Thundercat - Innerstellar Love

THANKS PRESIDENT TRUMP!!! WE ARE WITH YOU UNTIL THE END!

Hey it's your Patreon episode. Trump wants to kill everyone.

Music: Saves The Day - Freakish

173 - HAZARD PAY WILL NOT SAVE YOU FROM THE VIRUS!

Sorry for the delay!

This week we have a bit more on what it's like to work in the time of Coronavirus, insufferable lib celebrities singing John Lennon on twitter, and the Qanon theories they inspire.

Also, check your privilege before calling for a rent strike.

Music: Stephen Malkmus - What Kind of Person

Gordon's GOO is not GOOD enough for our PRESIDENT

On this weeks episode we are joined by Arish Singh to talk about the finer points of living in Upstate New York and NOT New York City. We also talk about Gordon Ramsey and how his shitty food and even shittier attitude are not worthy of  god king trump.  

I'd say let's BBQ that muscular runner that would solve several problems

This week: a "vegan runner" complains to Nextdoor that the smell of cooking meat is offensive, and Fox News viewers take umbrage

Also: "One Million" Moms boycotts Disney for having a lesbian troll in Onward, and the Joe Rogan Facebook Group calls Alexander a pedophile about it

Music: Entombed - Left Hand Path

Clint Eastwood would never leave Trump for that puny punk

Sorry for the delay, folks. This week we have shocking news: it turns out Clint Eastwood supports Mike Bloomberg, and furthermore, he might not have said all that stuff in the memes.

Also: we explore an ad for a chintzy President Trump Sheriff's Badge and the awful cop meme page that spawned it

Music: Mogwai - Rano Pano

ABSOLUTELY STUPID DISGUSTING INSANE MORONIC EVIL GARBAGE

ALEXANDER REPORTS BACK FROM THE WASHINGTON BERNIE SANDERS RALLY.  TONY REPORTS BACK FROM A CONVERSATION WITH A DUMBASS ACQUAINTANCE.

MEDICARE FOR ALL WILL SAVE LIVES AND MONEY AND THAT'S WHY IT'S BAD

AND WE INVESTIGATE A NEW FACEBOOK GROUP BASED AROUND TRIGGERING DISNEY WORLD ATTENDEES WITH EXCLUSIVE MERCHANDISE

MUSIC: TRICLOPS! - FREEDOM TICKLER

Bloomberg is too rich to be president? George Washington had $650 Million.

Bloomberg's ascent causes Alex to be mad online, and Bernie's New Hampshire victory does the same for democrats.

Music: Hedvig Mollestad Trio

This is why we need more women in politics

This week the Cult both applauds and threatens to kill Nancy Pelosi over her epic Yass Kween performance at the State of the Union

and 

There's a weird congressman who keeps trying to give people fake money with the president's face on it

Music: Meshuggah - Rational Gaze

Mr. Peanut must die as a statement that normal biological gender, relationships, and reproduction must die

We review our recent dust-up with Yang Gang on twitter, examine Yang's proposals and how they're being portrayed by his proponents

and we examine unique expressions of grief over the loss of the beloved Mr. Peanut

Music: Las Nubes - Deposit Slip

I HAVE A LOT OF BULLETS!

This week we cover the Project Veritas hit job on Bernie Sanders' epic gritty meme field organizer and the conservative reaction

and Qanon finds a transgender baby doll in Russia, and it is apparently the devil

Music: PJ Harvery - Big Exit

All I know is my dad owns 10 houses in the neighboorhood and 2 are empty

This week we have an interesting/horrifying work story from Alex

and we cover the Moms 4 Housing movement to de-commodify housing in Oakland, their recent arrest, and the online response

Donate to Moms 4 Housing at https://www.moms4housing.org/donate 

Though not a fan of trump but I kiss his both hands for making that happen (fixed)

Sorry about that, folks! It's the Iran episode

Music: Trial - War By Other Means

The Stranger Things kids with their cool new pizza tattoos..

Two bits of good news! (three, if you count the release of this episode)

Those cops who threw Nazi salutes in their class photo might actually get fired. Some folks are upset.

The Stranger Things kids got cute temporary pizza tattoos! Looks like Qanon found out about it!

Music: Pissed Jeans - Love Without Emotion

Believe ft. Kino Lefter

This week we review Believe, a film about business owner Matthew Peyton who gets assaulted and left for dead when he can't afford to single-handedly finance the town's annual Christmas Pageant 

He solves his and the town's economic problems when he realizes he can replace his union workforce with unpaid homeless people in exchange for sheltering them from the winter storm. None of this is hyperbole.

OAC and "THE POSSE" have been replaced!

This week we cover the hip, new "Conservative Squad" who might be in for some politics if they get elected next year

Also, a Mall Santa gets fired for wearing innocently wearing a Trump hat at work, probably because  a sick jewish child asked him to