Hi cutie,
In today's audio resource, I'll explore the question of, "what if multiple partners share personality traits that stress us out?" Relationships aren't always supplementary; sometimes the struggle gets duplicated. In those cases, what are our options?
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Good morning cutie. I hope you’re having a lovely weekend today. I'm opting for an audio resource because it’s going to be a bit more open and less scripted, a bit more free form. ...
2022-06-12 05:09:48 +0000 UTC
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Good morning cutie,
I hope your weekend is restful and calm. This week’s been interesting on my end, as my new rescue dog is getting a lot of our attention. My other dog gets very distressed about this, so we’re putting more energy into reminding him that we still love him, too.
So, let’s talk about when a person has new relationship energy with someone (or something) else. Specifically, let’s explore how to maintain balance in the polycule when one person has an i...
2022-06-05 12:15:17 +0000 UTC
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Good morning cutie,
So I’ve been watching Kat Blaque for years — she mostly makes video essays about media and cultural commentary. But this week I remembered, “oh right! She’s polyamorous and has really great videos in her archive about her experiences!” She also shares very intimate stories about kink, interracial relationships, being trans and dating cis people, etc. She is probably one of the most vulnerable vloggers I follow.
If you’ve never watched her be...
2022-05-29 10:26:18 +0000 UTC
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Good morning cutie,
A few folks have reached out to me this week about communication and mental health. Specifically, several patrons are struggling with how to tell someone they're not interested, especially when the reason is mental health. So, let's talk about how transparency and self advocacy can be part of a "no" boundary.
Of course, if it's a person who disrespects us or isn't safe to be vulnerable with, then I err on the side of caution. People with selfish intentions (e.g...
2022-05-22 13:02:50 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie!
Here is my first live question and answer format video. I'm thinking to make myself available for these once a month or once every other month, moving forward. The goal is to encourage more conversation in this space, and to make myself more accessible to folks who aren't able to have 1-on-1 chats or penpals. Thanks to everyone who came to hang out!
Please enjoy our chat, and I welcome feedback and suggestions.
Hugs,
Morgan
2022-05-15 11:18:27 +0000 UTC
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Good morning, cutie!
Let’s talk today about distinguishing problems from solutions. People often experience a tension or an ache or a desire, and jump to one immediate solution for it. If their partner rejects that idea, it can be seen as a rejection of taking care of them. But the feeling is valid, and there are usually quite a few ways to resolve it. The solution is the part that can be negotiable.
Today I’ll offer some examples that I’ve seen over the years. (All name...
2022-05-08 13:00:21 +0000 UTC
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Happy May Day, cutie!
If you’re American like me, you may not have heard of May Day. It’s an internationally recognized labor day to celebrate the victories of the working class. The day is also tied to regional rituals and festivals that signify the start of summer in the northern hemisphere.
In the spirit of summertime and summer love (my apologies to the southern hemisphere cuties, I do see you), let’s talk about flings.
More specifically, let’s talk about emotion...
2022-05-01 10:41:55 +0000 UTC
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Good morning cutie,
This week, I'm traveling away from my anchor partner, and visiting some friends on the other side of the world. A few plans are with polyam people who I feel varying levels of attraction to and flirtation with, so there's some ambiguity about the nature of our hangouts.
Usually, I process each potential date in person with my anchor partner, and offer care plans as needed. However, when I'm not seeing him every day and there's a big time difference, we sw...
2022-04-24 11:00:00 +0000 UTC
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Hi there cutie,
I'm always looking for new perspectives and interesting voices in the polyam space for you. After listening to a few episodes of the Monogamish podcast, I wanted to share! Jhen has conversations with other polyam people about unpacking mononormativity, the rights that metamours should be entitled to, designing parallel polyamory in a respectful way, and so much more. Take a listen and see if her voice resonates with you!
With love,
Morgan
2022-04-17 09:00:00 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
I’ve gotten a few requests to tackle time management this week, so let’s jump in to some practical solutions for common polyam scheduling stressors. I’ll use a few hypothetical examples here that will hopefully illustrate the types of solutions we can negotiate. I hope it serves.
Note: This whole post will assume everyone is acting in good faith, and that no one is abusing, cheating or deceiving anyone involved. I'm often asked "how do we fix XYZ i...
2022-04-03 16:32:16 +0000 UTC
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Hi there cutie,
I’ve chatted with quite a few people this month who pursued a feeling of security by asking for external markers, such as getting engaged or moving in together. While these are perfectly valid ways to express love, it gets tricky when we pursue these things because we don’t feel secure without them.
Married people, nesting partners, co-parents — they are all capable of neglecting their responsibilities, cheating or abandoning the people to whom they committed...
2022-03-27 14:26:40 +0000 UTC
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Good morning cutie,
I hope your Sunday is peaceful. Today, by request, let's talk about uncoupling emotional security from a sense of primacy in love. (Basically, how do we let go of clinging to external signifiers of "success," or of being "the best," and instead root our safety in something deeper?)
I will include all relevant links in the transcript below.
I hope it serves!
With love,
Morgan
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TRANSCRIPT:
[Preamble that repeats the...
2022-03-20 15:59:56 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
Continuing today on the topic of repressed anger, I'll share a bit more about the practical tools that I'm using to work on it.
These are tools that fit me in my current stage of trauma recovery, and I'm using them in conjunction with regular therapy and daily mental health medications. This is not prescriptive, nor is it comprehensive, as I imagine different strategies will suit different people. But since this space includes sharing my own processes in real time,...
2022-03-13 15:32:57 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
This week, an aromantic patron requested a resource on amatonormativity (the social assumption that exclusive, romantic love is the end goal for every relationship. This term was coined by Elizabeth Brake). So, I present to you this long form video essay by Tara Mooknee (a cultural analysis creator) in collaboration with David J Bradley (an aromantic and asexual creator).
Amatono...
2022-03-06 10:00:00 +0000 UTC
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This week has me heartbroken and sleepless with the attacks on Ukraine. So, my mind is on how we can support loved ones through grief. I'll share the kinds of things that my Ukrainian friends are asking for, as well as what helped me during severe loss and trauma. If you're unsure how to support someone in your life, maybe this will be helpful.
I'll frame this resource more from an interpersonal, 1-1 approach. However, if you are a person with financial or institutional power, t...
2022-02-27 12:01:54 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
A patron brought it to my attention this week that I've actually never covered the Relationship Anarchy Smorgasbord here. So, let's talk about it!
I'm attaching the PDF to this Patreon post, because it's too large to include as an image file. If you're unable to access it, a hi-res version is also available 2022-02-20 15:17:32 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
I hope your week has been going smoothly. I celebrated my 35th birthday on Friday, and it got me thinking about temporary, negotiated asymmetries in committed relationships. So, let's talk about it!
What is a temporary asymmetry? Well, I define it as a weighted imbalance of power or priority for a finite amount of time, usually with a known end date. Sometimes, these can be a bit more open-ended if the calendar is unclear, but I usually try to name an approximate end dat...
2022-02-13 13:42:23 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
Let's talk about anger today. Or rather, let's talk about the struggle to even recognize or feel anger. (If this doesn't apply to you, maybe someone in your life experiences it.)
Discovering anger is an ongoing process that I'm working on for years with my own therapist. It's much more radical and physical work than I ever imagined. I'll share a little about this topic through the lens of my own experience, as that's all I'm qualified to offer.&nbs...
2022-02-06 14:52:18 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
As most of you know, a lot of my personal work is currently on sexuality, unlearning purity culture / shame, and exploring kink through the lens of liberation. That’s why I was so excited to discover sex educator and sex worker Lola Jean @lolajeandotcom ‘s podcast “Is Our Love _____?” They discuss topics like the nuance of navigating consent in the porn industry, pushing back on fetishization ...
2022-01-30 12:13:05 +0000 UTC
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Hi there cutie,
A few patrons reached out to me this month about polysaturation, describing the painful reality of their own relationship being on the chopping block when their partner’s schedule is full. So, let’s talk about it.
If it’s a new term for you, polysaturation describes the experience of being at maximum capacity for romantic or sexual relationships.
However, this can also happen to monogamous people when dating someone who is very busy with work or f...
2022-01-23 13:30:32 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
Let’s talk today about the "can I do this anymore?" spiral that can happen from time to time. I’ve had several conversations this month with people who are struggling emotionally, experiencing trauma responses, and feeling overwhelmed by changes to their relationship(s). Intellectually, they’re fine with the logic of the changes, but their emotions are a different story.
Of course, no one has to practice any particular structure, even if you know you’re ...
2022-01-16 11:00:00 +0000 UTC
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Hi there cutie,
Here's the first of two resources for you this weekend. The next will be on Sunday, as normally scheduled. This audio clip unpacks self-shaming thoughts around vices, and the contrived narratives we're fed about some vices making us "bad," while others are productive and therefore "good."
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Hi cutie and happy Sunday. this is your bonus resource. Today I was thinking about the moral neutrality of vices. Bear with me here, it gets a little ...
2022-01-07 18:07:16 +0000 UTC
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Good morning cutie,
In the spirit of gentleness and easing into the new year, I’ll be taking a bit more time on this week’s resource. If you saw my IG Story last week, you have a bit of context, but basically my family of origin is in crisis at the moment, and I’m a bit exhausted.
(CW / Abuse and addiction)
My brother stopped taking his schizophrenia medication again, which always puts him in a very dark place. After saying she fears him and sleeps with the door lock...
2022-01-02 08:08:40 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie!
The lovely Leanne of @polyphiliablog gifted us with a variety of long form, 1-on-1 chats with other polyamorous creators this month.
In addition to my own interview with her about cult recovery and overcoming shame (CW / eating disorders), she explores the intersections of polyamory and kink, polyamory and race, flirting while neurodivergent, unlearning toxic monogamy, and so mu...
2021-12-26 11:01:01 +0000 UTC
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Good morning cutie,
I'm preparing today for an interview with Leanne of @polyphiliablog (stay tuned to her IG; it will be posted on 21 December at 10PM EST). Our chat will be about overcoming rigid social conditioning. We'll focus on my cult experience as the case study, but this is applicable to any fundamentalist religion or just cis/het/mononormative society in general.
In that spirit, the...
2021-12-19 11:11:55 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
We're deep in the holiday season now, and that often comes with obligatory social interactions. Whether it's visiting our home town, spending time with family of origin, or attending a work party, we're faced with a higher volume of people who don't understand us.
Of course, we don't owe transparency to anyone. If they haven't earned our trust, we don't have to be out, let alone entertain probing questions.
However, if you are out, and have the energy to talk...
2021-12-12 16:17:24 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
I hope your weekend is going well. This week, after speaking with a lot of people about varying jealous experiences, I decided to put together this quick exercise for you all.
It's intended as a check-in of your mental and emotional experiences around these reactions. This is neither diagnostic nor prescriptive, but rather a conversation starter for you. I hope it serves.
2021-12-05 12:45:50 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
I hope you’re having a lovely start to your week. I wanted to record a bonus track this week, which is an update to a story I shared on Instagram and TikTok (linked here, if you haven’t seen it: tiktok.com/@chillpolyamory/video/7002984631314189574 )
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TRANSCRIPTION:
Hello to all the new cuties from TikTok who’ve come! I really appreciate your...
2021-11-30 13:20:51 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
This Thanksgiving weekend, I joined Lauren and Nicole of Coming Out Podcast for a special roundtable about polyamory with intimacy coaches Bear and Fifi as well.
In addition to some beginner-level discourse, we also talk about the complexities of ...
2021-11-27 08:00:02 +0000 UTC
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Hi cuties,
I was chatting with a patron last week about how many public bathrooms are inaccessible, and remembered this great resource.
Many of you don't identify as cisgender, which can make binary-gendered public bathrooms a huge stressor, if not a potential danger to your safety. (If you are cis, chances are you know or love a trans or non-binary person, so this is also important to consider on their behalf).
Quite a few of my patrons also have a physical disability...
2021-11-14 11:00:01 +0000 UTC
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