Good morning cutie,
Let's talk about compersion today, and how it's not always accessible.
If it's a new term to you, compersion is when you feel happiness for a partner about their other relationship(s). It's sometimes called the "opposite of jealousy", though that's not a perfect description.
In my experience, compersion is not a fixed destination. It's an emotion that may be fluid and temporary, not unlike feelings of jealousy. It's not an indicator of how healed yo...
2021-11-07 11:00:03 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
Lots of you are planning the holidays right now, so let's talk about it. As we all know, it can be tricky to plan big events when multiple people hold a special place in your life.
Here are a few considerations I make each year when planning significant gatherings. Hopefully, it can be of service to you.
1. Are you out?
Lots of people don't feel com...
2021-10-31 11:00:00 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
It's review time again! Today we'll be looking at the real-life throuple behind the creation of Wonder Woman, as portrayed in Professor Marston and the Wonder Women.
This will be a longer one, because there's a lot to discuss.
Spoilers Ahead. And a quick content warning for sexual assault in the film. I won’t describe it here, and it’s rather brief in the beginning, but stay cautious if you’re sensitive to that kind of i...
2021-10-24 10:26:31 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
A number of patrons have requested some resources on parenting. Being a non-parent myself, I need to outsource the wisdom. :)
If you're also a non-parent, these can still absolutely be of service. The longer I'm polyam, the more people I date who have children already. Understanding the complex realities of child rearing is something from which everyone benefits.
...
2021-10-17 15:13:24 +0000 UTC
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Good morning cutie,
As most of you know, I'm not a fan of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policies because of their low sustainability long-term. In my experience, fears and insecurities aren't soothed by total avoidance, and can actually be exacerbated.
But, I don't see this as a binary issue.
Today, I'll offer a personal story to illustrate the nuance needed in conversations around what we know, and what we choose to not know. I hope it can be of service if you're navi...
2021-10-10 11:38:13 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie and happy Sunday!
So a few months back, I shared some pitfalls that can happen in Parallel Polyamory, as opposed to Kitchen Table Polyamory. I thought it would be fitting to flip the script today, and explore some reasons you may not want KTP.
If it's a new term for you, KTP is where everyone in the polycule knows each other and hangs out together (e.g. around the kitchen table).
2021-10-03 11:42:49 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
I've chatted with a few folks this month about relationship restructuring, and figured it might be worthwhile to make a larger post about it.
One of my favorite parts of polyamory is the multitude of ways we can embed people in our lives, without treating it like a binary "dating / not dating" choice. Sometimes, one relationship structure no longer serves us, but we don't want to stop knowing each other altogether. That's when restructuring negotiations come in.
Fo...
2021-09-26 12:59:27 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
I hope you are resting and loving on yourself this weekend!
Today, by request, I'm exploring a bit more on the topic of fear responses. I've designed this quick check in as a way to prompt internal questions and (hopefully) productive discourse with one or more of the people in your life.
This is not intended to be diagnostic nor comprehensive, as I'm not in a position to offer either of those things. But rather, I hope it can be a conversation starter to explore t...
2021-09-19 09:18:31 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
I hope your weekend is calm and that you're able to rest and restore. :)
Not sure how I'm *just* hearing about this podcast, Polyamory Weekly, but here we are. They're a community-driven podcast, which really got my attention, because I'm a big fan of spaces that allow for multitudes of experiences and identities in non-monogamy.
As well, they've platformed fantastic guest hosts ...
2021-09-12 11:00:03 +0000 UTC
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Good morning cutie,
Storytime again. Let's discuss very elevated trauma responses, and mindful ways to seek support, deescalate, and repair. I'll use an example of something that happened last week to myself, and hopefully that will be helpful for you.
As always, I'm not a psychologist. I'm just sharing my experience in a way that may offer you some tools to use in your own life, if you relate to me.
So, what happened?
2021-09-05 12:07:55 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
Many patrons asked for more case studies from my own personal life. I agree that examples can be helpful when translating theory into practice, so I'm happy to share them whenever I can!
So. I had a ghosting-breakup of sorts last week, but then they resurfaced to apologize. We negotiated a potential reentry into dating, but with a revised approach and new accommodations (view in browser or on Patreon app if unable to see images).
For context, I was seeing ...
2021-08-29 09:08:29 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie!
This weekend you get 2 back-to-back resources, since there were some technical difficulties last week.
Today’s exercise is about strengthening our sexual communication. It’s partially informed by the sex educators at Impulsivity. While I appreciated their coursework (I recently took a few of their classes, always seeking to expand my own sex education), my opinion is that it's ...
2021-08-22 09:01:23 +0000 UTC
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Good morning cutie, I hope you're having a lovely weekend!
I just stumbled upon this podcast, Amory, which has a deep catalogue of regular episodes since August 2019. It's run by a straight couple who are married 17 years with twin 6 year old children.
While I don't think everyone will relate to them, I do respect their transparency in sharing their stories. And, the frank discussions about how their...
2021-08-08 13:00:00 +0000 UTC
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Good morning cutie, and happy Sunday!
Today, I'd like to share a personal story about territorialism. Despite practicing polyamory for nearly 10 years, I still experience these impulses, especially when a dynamic changes.
I'll share what happened this week, how I responded, and what the takeaways are. Hopefully, that will be of service to you!
1. Impulse to mark my te...
2021-08-01 11:00:04 +0000 UTC
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Good morning, cutie!
Today, I want to share an audio resource that dives into some long term effects of being cheating on, and how we can continue to unpack it and restore trust with our partners. I'll include a transcription below.
With love,
Morgan
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TRANSCRIPTION:
Good morning cutie and happy Sunday, this is your bonus resource.
What happens when you know its different, and you can trust this person? Either it’s the original person who che...
2021-07-18 12:31:10 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie!
A lot of folks are asking me for some new TikTok resources, as they’re using that app as much as Instagram these days. I’m also getting requests for trustworthy cis male polyamorous influencers, since a lot of male poly influencers are still very misogynistic and OPP-esque with their messaging.
I’m starting my own TikTok, only now having the hours in the day to commit to another platform. You can follow me there 2021-07-04 08:38:05 +0000 UTC
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If you've not seen Special on Netflix, check it out. It's a young adulthood story from a disabled point of view, with our protagonist Ryan, who has cerebral palsy. He explores the complexities of detaching from an over-bearing parent, of entering an ableist yet "liberal" workspace, and discovering companionship while navigating stereotypes.
Oh also, he's gay. And specifically seeing gay men have sex on screen in a way that's not sensationalized nor demonized is kind of re...
2021-06-27 11:00:05 +0000 UTC
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Good morning cutie,
With today being Father's Day, I want to validate those among us who have a fractured relationship with their parent(s). Even if you have a moderate-to-fine relationship with yours, there may still be tension around points of your identity, your sexuality, political views, or just your way of life.
Today, I'll share a bit about what helped me in various stages of healing from my relationship with my own parents. I'll include anecdotes where I feel they may be h...
2021-06-20 09:02:42 +0000 UTC
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Good morning, cutie ☀️
Today, I’m reviewing some conflict resolution skills that can be easy to forget in the heat of the moment, or when overwhelmed by intense emotions.
While these can be helpful in a lot of conflicts, I’m specifically writing them with romantic and/or peer dynamics in mind, as some of these would be less appropriate in parent/child or manager/employee relationships. As always, read the room and assess power dynamics at play before finding solutions to y...
2021-06-13 12:47:34 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie and happy Sunday!
I've gotten requests for more podcast recommendations, and this one actually comes from a fellow patron. On Dildorks, Bex and Kate talk about getting comfortable with casual sex in polyamory, unpacking scarcity v. abundance, defining hard v. soft limits, and much more. I've listened to a few episodes (enough to say "these folks are all right, let's share it a...
2021-06-06 10:00:03 +0000 UTC
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Let's travel back in time today, and look at the representation of swinging culture in 1997’s hit film Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.
I'll caution my trans cuties and AAPI babes to maybe skip it on rewatch, because it's really transphobic and racist throughout, especially toward Asian characters. I won't dive into that too much more here, but wanted to give a heads up about it.
Spoilers ahead for the first Austin Powers film.
...
2021-05-16 10:00:05 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie and happy Sunday!
So I posted a reel on Instagram recently about parallel polyamory, and was asked to elaborate a bit.
Often described in shorthand as “the opposite of Kitchen Table Polyamory” (where everyone in the polycule knows each other and feels comfortable hanging out), Parallel polyamory is a polycule status where metamours don’t interact with each other, and may never even m...
2021-05-09 10:00:02 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie and happy Sunday!
Today, I've been asked to talk about implied or covert vetoes that can exist even within "non veto power" dynamics. This is an aspect of sneakiarchy that I haven't really covered, so let's dive into it!
(And as an aside, this post assumes you don't want veto power. If vetoing is something you currently have in your dynamic, DM me and let's chat about it.)
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2021-04-25 11:59:22 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie!
With April being Autism Awareness Month, I want to spotlight Poly Philia, operated by an autistic relationship anarchist. They speak candidly about being on the spectrum, and outline why polyam structures fulfill their needs. They also run an IG page @polyphiliablog, which you may enjoy.
If you are neurodivergent too, or love someone who is, maybe their point of view will be of service to y...
2021-04-18 10:00:02 +0000 UTC
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Several patrons have reached out to me about decoupling in a way that still keeps you in each others' lives. So, let's talk about it!
Restructuring your romantic dynamic into something aromantic is possible. But it’s not just a switch you can flip, like “OK, no more strong emotions, I'm good to go.“ (Side note: I believe friendships can absolutely include romance or sex without escalation, but this post will be focused on decoupling into something non-romantic / non-sexual.)
2021-04-11 11:00:00 +0000 UTC
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Good morning cutie,
Today, I'm drafting some questions to consider when vetting new couples or triads. This may be for just swinging or play, or if you're looking to build a relationship that could become a triad or quad.
I recommend talking to everyone together, to minimize misunderstandings or triangulation. Don't take one person's word on how the other(s) feel(s). Be sure you're all on the same page. If conflicts arise during this conversation, it will be...
2021-04-04 10:00:00 +0000 UTC
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Today, by request, I’ve drafted up some questions we can consider when getting to know new (individual) polyam partners. There are slightly different considerations when getting to know an existing couple or triad, so that’ll be for another day.
This only is helpful is everyone is acting in good faith. People unfortunately do lie, minimize, deflect or misrepresent things, so we also want to pay attention to their patterns of actions as we go.
I don’t recommend literally inte...
2021-03-21 11:00:02 +0000 UTC
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Good morning cutie,
If you’re anything like me, it can be really hard to find mental health professionals who seem down-to-earth and collaborative. Or maybe you find someone you like but they’re inaccessible from a price or availability standpoint. That’s where online resources can help out.
I’ve been absorbing a lot from Emma McAdam on YouTube lately, and wanted to share her work with you. She’s a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who offers practical tools to d...
2021-03-07 11:40:35 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
Today I'm offering another look behind the curtain. Here is a text exchange I had with a new person I'm dating (view in browser or on Patreon app if unable to see images). It's a case study of how to address fears of abandonment in a young relationship.
1. Ask if it's a good time
Timing matters. To spring a vulnerable paragraph on someone while they're busy is just no fun for anybody involved.
"Can I tell you an insecurity" is also s...
2021-02-21 11:53:11 +0000 UTC
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Good morning and Happy Valentine's Day!
So you may have seen my IG threads this week on toxic monogamy, and all the ways that mono scripts can make us feel insecure, regardless of relationship structure.
One of the most common responses from this community was the recurring thought, "Am I enough for them?" And other fears around scarcity or being replaced.
So let's explore that today, and unpack what "enough" means, and how we can practically move past this tension wit...
2021-02-14 11:00:00 +0000 UTC
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