Hi cutie!
@midavihayden is a beautiful trans artist in the American South, who is both polyamorous and asexual. Their tools on negotiating different sexual appetites (or lack thereof) can benefit anyone regardless of orientation, in my opinion. We discuss the hierarchy of sexual activity in relationships, dispel common myths about the ace community, and explore how to heal from the concept of "brokenness."
Side note - It's likely I will need to save up for a more advanced micropho...
2021-01-31 18:55:24 +0000 UTC
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Good morning cutie,
Today, I've developed an audio resource to help you navigate the role of supporting your partner as they go through a breakup.
Of course, this assumes they are struggling with it. Often, breakups are amicable and don't cause much upheaval. But in cases of heavy grief and withdrawal, these 7 reminders can help ensure boundaries stay intact, and self care stays prioritized, while offering care and affection.
I hope it serves!
With love,
Morga...
2021-01-17 11:00:03 +0000 UTC
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Good morning cutie,
I hope you're experiencing a sense of calm and closeness with the people in your life, especially my American community. It's been a very long first week of 2021, so let's lean on each other and give space for whatever emotions come up.
I've mentioned RADAR to a few patrons who were unfamiliar with it, so want to take this moment to share it, in case it's also a new resource for you.
The infographic below elaborates on the RADAR structure, as created and ...
2021-01-10 11:00:02 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie and happy new year!
A warm welcome to all the new community members who joined in the last 2 weeks. I’m so grateful for your support, and so happy to serve you.
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Today’s exercise is about mindful pattern recognition. It’s somehow both short and time consuming, so move at whatever pace feels organic.
If you’re not a pen-and-paper journal type (I’m not really, either), I highly recommend speaking into the voice recorder app on your ph...
2021-01-03 11:16:30 +0000 UTC
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Happy Sunday, cutie!
A warm welcome to new community members Michelle, Liz, Laura, Ash, Autumn, Erika, Ren, Makensie, Shelby, Cherish, Aquila, Felicia, Rebekah and Giana. I'm so grateful for your support, and hope I can return the favor through my work here.
So. If you're anything like me, speaking with family members can be... exhausting. Interacting with extended (or estranged) family can refresh a lot of old pains, especially during a vulnerable time like...
2020-12-27 12:45:05 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie!
A warm welcome to all the new community members! A lot of Patrons had to scale back or leave this platform in 2020, but because of you, Patreon continues to pay my bills, and I'm so, so grateful. I return that love by putting as much energy as possible into resources for you!
By request, we're looking at Toxic Positivity today. Normally, I'm not a huge fan of "toxic" as a descriptor, because it can over-simplify things that aren't always so binary. But t...
2020-12-13 12:00:03 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie and happy Sunday!
I found myself referring penpals to The Take's YouTube channel several times this week, so figured I would share the full playlist on gendered tropes for everyone to peruse!
It's so easy to internalize expectations that we've seen depicted in film, tv, literature and music. When we're asking for our needs to be met, are we actua...
2020-12-06 12:00:02 +0000 UTC
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Today, by request, I'm offering an audio guide to meeting new metamours for the first time. What should you consider? How should you plan it? What if it doesn't go well?
I hope this serves.
With love,
Morgan
2020-11-22 11:38:30 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie and happy Sunday!
By request, let's chat about Sneakiarchy today. It's a term coined by Amy Gahran (Aggie Sez), and it's basically when a self-proclaimed non-hierarchy engages in undisclosed or unexamined hierarchical practices.
It's easy to fall into this if we're not careful. So let's figure out how to prevent it and to heal from it!
I hope this serves.
Love,
Morgan
2020-11-15 11:16:54 +0000 UTC
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Some good news and bad news. The original files of my interview with Ben were damaged, unfortunately. But, we've still got backup audio that will do the job! So I cleaned them up as much as possible, to deliver his wisdom to you this morning.
Today, we discuss going from polyamory back to monogamy, dating online with a physical disability, and unpacking the meaning of a "valuable" person in society. I hope you enjoy!
Side note - So far, none of my patrons have...
2020-11-01 10:32:54 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie!
A lot of people are reaching out to me, feeling frustrated about sex right now. Specifically, feeling a low libido, or just being "off" sexually with one or more of their partners.
While it can be tempting to go the all-or-nothing route (either mechanically going through the motions of sex, or just avoiding sex altogether), there's a spectrum of middle-ground responses that can help during these times.
So, I've compiled 5 non-sexual ways to feel intimacy wh...
2020-10-25 11:00:00 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
Yesterday, I asked everyone on IG what you're still struggling with in relationships. The number 1 answer was conflict resolution.
So let's talk about the most important part of resolving fights: the apology.
Sometimes, it really is 100% our fault. This might be a controversial opinion, but I think those are the easier apologies to make. When there's no doubt we messed up, and no one did anything to "deserve" it, the ego struggles to justify ...
2020-10-18 10:04:19 +0000 UTC
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Hi cuties and happy Sunday!
First a quick update on my availability! For all Penpal tiers, to meet the growing demand, I will reply within 7 days but still do my best to send an answer earlier than that. Metamour level and higher still get a free 30 min phone or video chat every month, scheduled upon request.
All patrons also get a discounted rate for phone / video chats, €15 ($18) / 30min or €25 ($30) / hour. I'm developing a booking we...
2020-10-04 09:54:52 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie!
Question for the polyam folks: Are you, or is someone you love, interested in a monogamous person?
Or maybe you're monogamous (in which case these would be great questions to ask yourself when dating a polyamorous person).
Side note - I personally don't enjoy dating monogamous people anymore or being someone's first polyamorous experience. If you feel that way too, I want to validate that. It's OK to want mutual levels of experienc...
2020-09-27 07:19:37 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie, and a warm welcome to new community members Ania, Kari, CK, Laura, Jessamyn, B, Ruchita and Amy!
Today, as promised, I'm unpacking my recent breakup for you. I filmed this spontaneously, no script, fresh out the shower, just giving you my realest self on a Sunday morning.
In this 30min video, I dive into why I fell for them, how I started to lose myself, how I f*cked up and acted out, the ways I made amends and worked to repair it, and what finally was the last straw tha...
2020-09-20 14:48:31 +0000 UTC
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Hi there,
I'm preparing a video soon about the breakup I had this past week, including the role that body dissociation played in my suppression of anger, and staying in an under-performing dynamic for too long. More on that soon.
It also has me revisiting gaslighting (a buzzword by now, I know); I felt really foggy and insecure during the last 2 months of this relationship. My therapist brought to my attention that even the subtlest forms of manipulation can yield the same...
2020-09-13 09:23:25 +0000 UTC
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Happy Sunday, cutie!
On today's Part II of long distance love, my nesting partner and I discuss digital sex, uncertain travel plans, and navigating texting / communication boundaries on digital media.
I hope our experiences are helpful, if you're one of the many people struggling with a long distance relationship right now!
With love,
Morgan
2020-09-06 16:09:15 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie!
As you may know, my nesting partner was finallyyy able to join me in Berlin after almost 6 months separated, due to COVID-19. So we took questions on Instagram about maintaining long distance love. Here is Part I of our chat, and Part II will come next week! We hope it serves.
With love
Morgan
2020-08-30 16:53:55 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie!
I'm getting a lot of questions about queer femme sex, which is still a relatively young topic for me, as well. So I want to recommend Sam @shrimpteeth, a queer sex coach who just started a public blog in addition to her IG work. She offers peer support sessions like I do, but specializes in femme/femme sexual relationships. Check her out if that sounds like something you might...
2020-08-23 09:26:45 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
I'm considering developing a detailed Relationship Inventory workbook. So in preparation for that, let's give my first idea a whirl! (And my standard disclaimer around these kinds of resources: I am not a medical or psychiatric professional, and this isn't intended to be diagnostic. Rather, this is a framework around which you can explore your own feelings, and better understand your own needs.)
Relationship Satisfaction Check-In
This ...
2020-08-09 18:00:03 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie!
Question: Does your relationship look like it's changing?
Maybe there's escalation into living together, meeting their family, or even planning a wedding. Maybe there's deescalation, where you're taking a step back and giving energy to other areas of your life. Either way, change can be stressful. It doesn't matter if people around us call it "good" or "bad" change, the nervous system still responds, either way.
Today I've outlined 5 key ques...
2020-08-09 11:00:00 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
Today, I'm offering you a look behind the curtain. Here is a sequence of texts between me and a new partner (view in browser or on Patreon app to see images). It's a case study of how to navigate new boundaries in a young relationship. It might merit further explanation, so I'll break down the basic steps below.
1. Express vulnerability
I was feeling vulnerable and uncertain, so I said that. They were saying "I'm not available on Friday" a...
2020-07-19 10:59:57 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie and happy Sunday!
In searching for relatable podcasts that discuss solo polyamory, I found these awesome folx speaking freely about a lot of taboo topics. This episode is specifically about solo polyamory and relationship anarchy. But if you like them, absolutely scroll through the other episodes. I'm just getting started listening to them, but they feel really chill and on the level. Check it. :)
xx
Morgan
2020-07-12 12:00:04 +0000 UTC
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Happy Sunday and a warm welcome to new community members Jasmine, Vieve and Stephanie!
Question: do you ever feel like your body knows something is wrong before your brain is quite sure why? Today I offer 6 questions that we can ask ourselves to check in with bodily / nervous system responses, to see if something in a relationship might need healing.
I hope this serves!
xx
Morgan
2020-07-05 14:00:01 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
As promised, today I'm offering a framework for how we may be able to come back from cheating (if everyone involved wants to, of course). It's tricky to discuss these things in generalities, but here are the tools that have broadly been helpful for me. If you want to chat about a specific recovery plan from cheating, do feel free to reach out.
Big hugs,
Morgan
2020-06-21 13:04:42 +0000 UTC
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Hi cutie,
This week Kevin Patterson of @polyrolemodels, author of required reading Love's Not Colorblind, has a few words on the notion of dating preferences, building polyamorous meetups where everyone feels comfortable, and how we should generally treat people who don't share our lived experiences.
2020-06-07 15:25:55 +0000 UTC
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Ever agreed to something with a partner, but they got upset about how you did it? This could be an issue with Continued Consent in the dynamic. Today I've compiled a few things that help me prevent conflict and confusion around this topic. Hopefully that will be helpful for you.
I talk often about informed consent, and the pursuit of radical transparency in our love lives. It feels awful to sit with hidden information, or to be on separate pages with a partner. When we seek consent in e...
2020-05-24 12:59:10 +0000 UTC
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Happy Sunday! And a warm welcome to our new community members Vanessa, Michelle, Jacob, Amelia and Opri!
So we've discussed the Fight / Flight reaction a fair amount, and how we can counter it with proactive disengagement, deep breathing, stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system, and similar tools offered by my own mental health support system.
But one of the lesser discussed trauma responses is Freeze. How do we come ...
2020-05-17 08:39:21 +0000 UTC
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Happy Sunday, cuties! And a warm welcome to new community members Erin, Natalie, Nelly, Cydney, Lou, Jenny, Emilie, Caileigh, JJ, Julz, Kirstin and Kaylah!
Several folks requested a discussion on late-blooming queerness, a.k.a. discovering queer sex and love in adulthood. So I've put together six things that have really helped me navigate this uncharted territory.
Hopefully it will be helpful for you!
With love
Morgan
2020-05-10 10:05:01 +0000 UTC
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Today, I chat with sensuality coach Bree @baebaeleche (polyamorous for 10 years) on what it's like to explore kink in motherhood. I hope you enjoy!
2020-05-03 10:01:00 +0000 UTC
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