Agrippa

Wake-up Call – Chapter 92

The streets are empty, the Endbringer truce enduring unusually longer as it’s mixed with celebration and grieving.

So I can drive by slowly, approaching what was the Undersiders’ lair until I rebranded them into the kind of people who have secret bases rather than lairs.

No matter what Alec insists on calling it.

There’s… There’s a small smile tugging at the corner of my lips, and the pain in my temples has receded just enough that the hint of it, the expression of...

August's Plot Bunnies Poll

It’s that time of the month again!

(Meaning, the time when I realize the month has less than a week left to go, and I panic even harder than usual.)

It’s also the time I usually take to thank all of you for still being here or for having recently jumped in. When I remind you that none of this would be possible without you and that I’m more grateful than I can properly put into words for your support (it’s usually when I also crack a self-deprecating joke about putting thin...

Periodical Cicadas – Chapter 11

Daniel Hebert

I don’t know what I’m doing.

I’ve often been told that this isn’t an uncommon sentiment for parents, much less for widowed or single parents of a teenager.

I’ve often been told many things.

And I don’t care to count how many of them were lies.

So I lean back on my swiveling chair, taking advantage of being alone in the PRT office embedded in the local police department to stretch my legs out under the desk, push...

Birthday Giveaway Starting Now!

Okay, so, remember that gushy post I wrote for my birthday and how I promised I would try to do some special stuff to celebrate you sticking around with me and my neuroses for this long?

Remember how that was last week?

Well…

Better late than never?

Now that the second Tales From a Lewd Fantasy World has gone throug...

All Right! Fine! I’ll Take You! – Yui’s Lily Garden – Chapter 10

This is a familiar staircase.

I sometimes heard Hikky mutter something about familiar ceilings after waking up from one of his impromptu naps in our club—not that I was watching him sleep or anything! I mean, that would be creepy, and he is the creepy one. And gross. And a lust-fueled womanizer who should not have, ever, called me a slut. So, yeah, if anything, he would be the one creepily watching me sleep.

Not me.

I would never do that.

N...

All Right! Fine! I Will Take You! – Chapter 84 – Haruno Yukinoshita Spends Too Much Time With Hachiman Hikigaya

She looks beautiful when she sleeps.

Which is utterly unfair, given that I’ve just woken up yet again, this time due to the unforgiving nature of the sun and how it’s inconsiderately decided to show up before seven in the morning despite me and Shizu having gone to sleep no sooner than four.

On the floor of the living room.

So, it is unfair that she’s still sleeping despite the early rays of light tracing her profile in strokes of flaking gold. That she’s peacefully ...

Happy Birthday to Me

So, as I write this, it’s currently my birthday, but I’m pretty sure I won’t finish writing until after I’m done with the next Wake-up Call chapter, and by then I’ll likely just want to fall unconscious until it’s no longer said birthday.

So, if you’re reading this and it’s no longer July 19th, that means my self-awareness is progressing faster than I expected.

I originally planned on having the next Tales From a Lewd Fantasy World ready for today, but I got stuck ...

Wake-up Call – Chapter 91

I would like to say that the engine of my baby roars as I cut through the night streets of Brockton Bay.

I want to say that I race faster than anybody without any kind of enhanced reflexes or precognitive powers ever could.

That I push my abilities to the utmost limit, going fast enough to leave behind the past few days.

I don’t.

Because my head is pounding, not even Power’s most recent care and worry for my wellbeing able to stave off my current Thinker headache.<...

Periodical Cicadas – Chapter 10

“Please tell me what you think about this!” Noah says with a very Noah grin before handing me a large white envelope.

In a lone corner of the school.

Away from anyone.

Away from Audrey.

Is this legal? Can Noah and Audrey be apart from one another? Does this make me responsible for minding Noah?

I don’t want to be responsible for minding Noah. That sounds like the kind of thing that ends up with a Biblical swarm blacking out the sun and thr...

All Right! Fine! I’ll Take You! – Yui’s Lily Garden – Chapter 9

I’ve lost count.

I’ve lost count of all the times I’ve woken up with Yukinon in my arms since we went to bed together last night after I told her that we wouldn’t have sex until she was ready for it.

And that is not because I’m that bad at math, Hikky. It’s just… It’s just that it was a lot of times, and I didn’t have to keep count because a part of me hoped this would go on for the rest of my life.

Except the part about her not being read...

Wake-up Call – Chapter 90

Victoria Dallon

I am smarter than most people think I am.

To be fair… that’s quite a low bar.

“Vicky, can we…” Amy asks as I reach for the doorknob to my bedroom.

I don’t even twitch.

“Tomorrow, okay?” I say with a tired smile that it takes me some effort not to show as exhausted.

She, in front of her own room, fidgets, wringing her hands in that way she does when waiting for me on the hospital’s roof.

I alw...

All Right! Fine! I Will Take You! – Chapter 83 – Shizuka Hiratsuka Can Be Comforted

“Go back to sleep,” a soft voice tells me right before I open my eyes.

Which is alarming enough for me to jerk upright and suddenly be far more awake than I intended.

“Hey,” Haruno says, torn between panic and amusement, “just how much do you want to contradict me?”

Her hands are on my shoulders, gently pushing me toward the sofa’s backrest.

There’s a soft, warm blanket draped over my lap. My thighs.

I am not wearing pants.

I was we...

The Greatest Masturbatory Fantasy Ever! [Naruto, Rule 63]

Disclaimer: So that this story fits inside of Patreon’s Community Guidelines, it’s been revised so that it occurs in an AU where all the characters are legal adults. This includes the characters not involved in sexual events. Everybody is an adult, without a single exception. Sorry about the inconvenience.

You are Uzumaki Naruko, the greatest kunoichi the Village Hidden in the Leaves has ever seen! Believe it!

(No, seriously, please, believ...

Wake-up Call – Chapter 89 – Collateral

Emily Piggot

I catch the laughter.

Far enough away that none of the members of New Wave are likely to see me, sitting on my parked bike, by the side of a road high enough to overlook the two-story house, I hear the laughter and relief coming from Amy’s house.

And so I drive away.

The engine rumbles between my legs as I drive slowly. Leisurely.

One of the splinter groups of the ABB, a Filipino gang, is trying to go back to their roots n...

July’s Plot Bunnies Poll

Okay, so, the good news is that I did take your sternly worded advice and got a break.

Last week.

It lasted three days.

And I still feel the need to apologize.

…

Yeah, let’s just say my lacking input over the past month has more to do with me being terrible at plenty of things than with me being sane and caring for my mental health.

On the brighter side?

I finished a novel!

I mean, yes, some of you may remember how much I gushed abo...

Ginosko – Chapter 11

Guinevere Ginosko

All Right! Fine! I Will Take You! – Chapter 82

Slow motion. Freeze frame. A drastic shift in the art style.

All of them are ways to signify a sudden, dramatic twist about to develop or about to hit.

Hard.

Unless it turns out to be nothing.

Unless I’m making a fool of myself.

Like a part of me desperately wants.

“Senpai?!” Iroha asks, bewildered, as I sharply turn on my heel and rush down the corridor we’d been walking through.

Away from Shizu’s apartment.

And straight to where I ju...

Wake-up Call – Chapter 88 – Healing

Amelia Dallon

I am not flying in Vicky’s arms.

I am… holding Emily, my arms wrapped around her waist as she drives her bike through empty roads, turning from one street to another so smoothly that I barely feel the changes of direction.

She’s driving slowly.

And I am grateful for it.

Because, at the end of this night drive, I’ll be at my home, and I’ll have to do something I fear. Something I never wanted to do. Something I nev...

All Right! Fine! I Will Take You! – Chapter 81

We have talked a lot about characters, plot contrivances, and… and not much else, really.

But anime, manga, and video games are, ultimately, visual mediums.

What this means is that things don’t happen in a vacuum. Words are not let out into a contextless void, unless you’re Gainax and your budget has run out, and… Well.

Setting.

It’s important.

It’s important to have your characters be somewhere. To have the school’s outcast take refuge in ...

Wake-up Call – Chapter 87 – Prisoners

Panacea

My ears hurt.

My ears hurt, my stomach feels like it’s trying to crawl up my throat, my eyes sting, and I can’t move my arms or my legs because—

I don’t know why. But I can’t.

I force myself to blink my eyes open, but it’s a struggle, and even when I finally manage, I don’t see anything until I think to look down, my eyes feeling as if they’re scrapping against the inside of my skull as I try to focus my sight ...

Ginosko – Chapter 10

My old workshop.

“What?” I ask as soon as I step through the open door in what I feel is a perfectly adequate degree of bafflement.

“It was convenient,” Trish says, brushing past me—or more like pushing me out of the way with the heavy crate she holds before her.

“Yes. I am sure that’s the only reason,” Magda comments in what would be sass if not for the gentle, warm smile she punctuates the sentence with.

And she walks past my already out-of-the-way se...

All Right! Fine! I Will Take You! – Chapter 80

Astonishingly, no matter how deeply we’ve plumbed into the depths of the shounen genre, how carefully we have gleaned into its intricate sophistication, there are some fundamental aspects of it that we’ve yet to tackle in this lecture series, which only goes to show how esoterically complex the subject matter is.

Truly, there are few things as deep as a manga genre aimed at teenagers or people who wish they were still teenagers.

Such as rage.

You see, rage can appear to ...

June’s Plot Bunnies Poll

It’s almost summer.

…

*insert ‘It’s a Cruel, Cruel Summer’ here*

Anyway, it seems I got stuck on both A Pure Knight’s Natural Enemy and Ginosko for reasons elaborated on the Discord (as somebody put it: I am the living embodiment of an AO3’s Fic’s Author’s Notes). My shoulders are still killing me at trying (and failing) to get Ginosko’s latest c...

Ginosko – Chapter 9

Patricia is… cuddly.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise, not after everything we’ve gone through, all the things we have done to one another.

But we spend most of our nights apart, each of us in their own apartment, maintaining a façade that maybe would survive a not-too-deep probe because our best hope is to not have someone launch anything more intensive than that.

So…

So it is a surprise to have her draped over me, a soft smile still on her lips after...

Wake-up Call – Chapter 86 – Healer on Call

Panacea

She hasn’t said anything.

Emily went out last night, and she hasn’t said anything.

Right. Right. It was just a routine thing. She was just checking on some locations she had previously spotted, making sure nobody was doing something stupid.

Unlike Emily. Who never does something stupid.

Like going out at night in Brockton without any kind of backup, just trusting that her biomods will keep her alive long enough for m...

All Right! Fine! I Will Take You! – Chapter 79

“I’m fired,” she says.

And I blink dumbly at her.

I… I am at her apartment. Me. Just the two of us.

Me and Shizu.

No Iroha. No Haruno.

And we’re sitting by her kitchen counter, my teacher in front of me, framed by gleaming tiles that make it so every loose hair floating above her dark locks becomes a thin line of black on white.

She’s as beautiful, as stunning as ever.

Even in her sadness.

“Fired?” I ask. Stupidly. Like a moron w...

Wake-up Call – Chapter 85 – Vigilante Justice

Emily Piggot

Behemoth has been defeated.

Yes. At great cost. Losing Alexandria will hurt us greatly in the short term, but…

Three Endbringers.

Three Triumvirate members.

That’s a trade I would make any day of the week.

Partly because what kind of hero would they be if they didn’t choose to make that sacrifice themselves, partly because…

Endbringers.

It’s… It’s so hard to wrap my head around it. To finally ...

A Pure Knight’s Natural Enemy – Chapter 11 – Haremettes Are People Too

Luna

Good news? The rumors about orc cock were entirely true.

Bad news? It’s attached to Kazuma.

Yes, right, if I’m being fair, the kid is… not that bad? He actually tries, which I can’t say about many of the other members of the guild. And he’s managed to wrangle that party of his into something that, if you squint hard enough, can somehow pass for functional.

That’s without going into his list of achievements.

So, ...

All Right! Fine! I Will Take You! – Chapter 78

We have already talked about the utterly broken cheat power that is the scene transition. How a single shift in lighting turning golden and low makes the protagonist suddenly go from hesitating and nervously fiddling with the collar of his sports shirt to having his muscles ripping out of it as he pumps up yet another push-up (how painfully aware I am now that push-ups do not work that way may be a topic for future lectures). How the same shift in lighting, coupled with the appearanc...

Future Projects

Okay, seeing as A Pure Knight’s Natural Enemy refuses to be written, and so as to not turn the night into a complete waste (and to avoid thinking what a radically different meaning this line would have had when I was younger—and if I was an entirely different person), I’ve decided to share my thoughts on my next project.

As you all know, I’m getting (psychologically) ready for both Wake-up Call and All Right! Fine! I Will Take You! to end, and the idea is to replace them with a ...