Agrippa

Wake-up Call – Chapter 72

Female morning wood is not a thing.

Wait, let me correct myself: it shouldn’t be a thing.

I shouldn’t wake up next to an extremely naked Taylor wrapped around my own bare body, burning heat between my thighs and a spot of wetness on the sheets below. I shouldn’t be desperate for her touch, yearning to grab the back of her head and pull her lips to mine, above or below.

I shouldn’t have…

Spent the night in her arms, feeling the stress of the ...

Marvel’s What If #63 – Victoria Von Doom

Disclaimer: So that this story

All Right! Fine! I Will Take You! – Chapter 65

When one looks at the training regime of the average action shounen protagonist, a couple of things come to mind. The first and foremost among them is that the main character in question must be the kind of masochist that even the haughtiest of ojou-sama-laughter-spouting, whip-wielding, drill-haired characters have nightmares about, because nothing the poor, leather-clad girls can do will ever top what the pointy-haired freaks (in plenty of senses of the word) regularly do to themselves.

Wake-up Call – Chapter 71

Teasing Brian is fun.

Watching Rachel push to get out of her shell and interact more with us is heartbreaking.

Joking around with Alec is both things.

And so, after my latest rooftop scene, after a day of confronting things too near to my trigger event… Having dinner with them is exhausting.

Because I’ve felt one too many things. I’ve gone through highs and lows I rarely imagined I could feel outside of life-and-death situations. I have… I have pushed through h...

Tales from a Lewd Fantasy World – Tale 6 – The Hero from Another World 3

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a man from the modern world with no particularly remarkable qualities who is invariably single, preferably unemployed or working at a dead-end job, and whose plans for the future should involve a call to a therapist and/or the suicide prevention lifeline, is transported to a fantasy land.

A fantasy land filled with ancient magic, with a variety of cultures and races, with mystery and knowledge he is completely new to.

Does the experience ...

All Right! Fine! I Will Take You! – Chapter 64

Seeing as we’re currently going over past material, not because it was unduly covered by these rigorous lessons—unparalleled under the Heavens, as the current trends in Chinese knock-offs of classic shounen would state—but because the topics in question are as deep as the bottomless sea or the patience of a Zaimokuza editor, we should revisit one of the topics that were given less of a chance to shine among the many bright pearls of wisdom of this current curriculum.

I’m talking...

Wake-up Call – Chapter 70

Rooftops are becoming kind of my thing.

I don’t like it. It makes me predictable.

Lisa Wilbourn’s affectation—

Okay, fine, I don’t really care. Yes, I may be slightly paranoid about getting ambushed yet again by an urban sniper, but it’s not something that’s making me hyperalert or anything like that, much less to the point I’d be uncomfortable with sitting on the red-tiled rooftop of the Undersiders’ lair of all places.

Some of my mos...

Hey, Adora [Complete]

Disclaimer: So that this story fits inside of Patreon’s Community Guidelines, it’s been revised so that it occurs in an AU where all the characters are legal adults. This includes the characters not involved in sexual events. Everybody is an adult, without a single exception. Sorry about the inconvenience.

“Hey, Adora,” she had said with that voice of hers that sometimes felt like claws slowly traveling up my spine, softly and teas...

Wake-up Call – Chapter 69 – Parenthood

Danny Hebert Is Still Disliked

Watching Lisa rush away on her bike with Taylor clinging to her from the backdoor of my kitchen is, somewhat, a tad less disorienting than when she did so by herself, flipping me the bird right after dropping the engagement bomb.

Somewhat.

“Every parent thinks they have it the hardest. That their kids are, somehow, the most troublesome of anybody else’s. It’s somehow comforting to realize I was objectively right,...

2023 Is Here, and 2022 Is Thankfully Over

So, I started this whole thing in August of 2021, nearly a year and a half ago. One could say it was long overdue or that my middle-life crisis hit me weirder than most people. At least one of these two is definitely, partially correct.

What matters is that it worked.

Partially.

I mean, between the Patreon and the commissions, I’m finally more or less on par with what I used to make in my previous employment, though that is with the caveat that my words per month ...

January's Plot Bunnies Poll - Now Actually Multi-Choice

Well, it’s that time of the month again!

… Give or take about a week.

I’m really sorry it slipped my mind this far, but, well—actually, no buts. I messed up. I haven’t been handling the holidays well, and I apologize. The good news is that said holidays will be ending soon, and I’ll (hopefully) be able to get back to work at full Scrooge tilt without too much trouble now that I finally finished “One Last Gift” (and that I have more or less stopped figthing with the...

All Right! Fine! I Will Take You! – Chapter 63

It’s been a while since we touched upon the subject of harem logistics. While our earlier lectures were certainly as rigorous and enlightening as the rest of our course has been, they focused on the part of the harem that more readily comes to mind in such studies, that is, its constituents.

Yes, it is essential, and vitally so when yanderes are involved, to analyze the personality types to avoid redundancy and properly choose among the most fitting harem managerial styles (that is: a...

Wake-up Call – Chapter 68 – Taylor Hebert Can Learn

My control over my swarm has grown steadily since I gained my powers. In some ways? I think part of it is not due to experience, but…

To Lisa.

To Lisa and her hilariously concerning arguments with the voice in her head.

Because, while my own ability with arthropods isn’t quite as vocal as the surrogate sibling she has adopted (other than Dinah), I’ve had… thoughts. Ideas.

And, sometimes? When I lean on it, trying something new, something that I hadn’t come up...

Agrippa’s Christmas Special 2022

As I hope it won’t become a yearly tradition, the Christmas Special has been just finished at a time where one could generously deem the 25thof December to still be a thing in some time zones (which is no longer true as I finally set to edit this).

This year I’ve got another excuse, though, but as it’s currently very much not the 25th where I live and the Sun’s threatening to come up (it came up, then went down—at some point during those events, I was blissfully unconscious), ...

One Last Gift [Complete]

Six years ago:

Telling a twelve-

Wake-up Call – Chapter 67

Chamomile tea.

Chamomile tea has long been a staple of.. fuck this, I’m not in the mood for a lecture.

Also? This is awkward.

Like, really awkward.

So, trying to mask some of it, I grab the cup of chamomile tea in front of me, bring it up to my lips, and take in the fragrant waft of steam drifting off it.

It’s… It’s kind of hard to describe, like most scents are. We have many evocative words for both sight and sound, our two main ways of gatherin...

Status Report, and Can I Ask You for a Favor?

So, it’s been a while since I did one of these, mostly because I think many of you were annoyed by me setting up impossible goals and then explaining precisely how and why I failed at them.

I can’t fathom why.

Anyway, I think I took the wrong lesson out of that. I need to communicate with you all, just not do it in a way that induces hair-pulling frustration. In the spirit of such a momentous realization, I’ll say that this week is going to look a bit underwhelming until the...

Wake-up Call – Chapter 66

Do you remember all those romantic comedies in which an unlikely couple hooks up not at the end of the movie but somewhere close to the beginning? The ones where the story is not about the typical Meet Cute, but about how those two horribly clashing personalities who should have never gotten together try to overcome all the awkwardness of a drunken makeout or something equally (or more) impulsive? Well, what always fascinated me as a kid was the morning after of such movies. The couple realiz...

Puella Monstrum Madoka Moecha – Chapter – 11 – It Turns Out Everybody Likes Karaoke

Oriko – Plans Within Plans, or ‘Dance, Puppets, Dance!’

“Are you certain of that?” Kyuubey inquires, not for the first time.

I suppress a weary sigh at her panicked insistence, but not entirely, letting a hint of my frustration out so that the sometimes albino girl will think me more genuine.

For some reason, she tends to believe annoyance and irritability are signs of sincerity.

“Kyuubey, if I tell you I am certain, it’...

All Right! Fine! I Will Take You! – Chapter 62

When one takes a more than perfunctory look at most anime plots, a worrying, even disturbing trend soon becomes apparent: grudges.

They all have grudges.

Be it the everlasting rivalry of two martial artists being born out of stolen bread, the regret of a genocidal prince at an alien real estate mogul killing his whole species before he could, or somebody called Kamille protesting that it is a man’s name and launching a bloody war because of it, most of our stories are filled wit...

Wake-up Call – Chapter 65

So, my old room.

It’s… I dismantled my computers when I ran away from here after Taylor’s little stunt that would forever get me unfairly labeled as a school shooter by people who shouldn’t be throwing stones while living in forcefield houses.

I mean, I shot one student. Colin has outright demolished at least two public high schools.

(During two separate Endbringer fights, after they were completely evacuated, for perfectly sensible tactical reasons, and wit...

Ginosko – Chapter 7 – Lawrence’s Office Politics

Sometimes, Trish parades me around. It’s one of those weird status things—in this case, an android ‘owning’ a human being—that make some deals go that bit smoother. It’s also a good way to keep my cover, seeing as I’m expected to be eye candy while Magda and my… well, my girlfriend do the actual work.

It’s a fucking relief, is what it is.

I mean, acting like I know what I’m doing? Sure, no problem. Bluffing is not so much a life skill as a death avoida...

All Right! Fine! I Will Take You! – Chapter 61

Kojirou Sasaki and Musashi Miyamoto, the most famous swordsmen in Japan, the ones who could be said to have solidified the very concept of rivalry itself as it’s come to be understood nowadays. And what are rivalries but one of the very pillars of shounen, nay, of Japanese culture itself? Indeed, we now see it as two characters who complement one another, being weak where the other is strong, clashing again and again, honing their skills through an intimate, shared struggle that turns into ...

Wake-up Call – Chapter 64

It will come as no surprise at this point in my story that I will state this: I like rooftops.

‘As you all know’ narrative device—

Shut up. That doesn’t apply here.

Not when I’m overlooking my adopted city from my own rooftop, the cold wind of early evening rustling my hair behind me after letting it loose as I grasp the white, metallic railing in front of me with both hands.

There are a few buildings taller than my own, breaking up the skyline with ...

A Pure Knight’s Natural Enemy – Chapter 8

There’s one thing about JRPGs that most players of other (lesser) genres tend to envy: the lack of escort missions.

The poor, deluded fools.

One would think that a whole genre that is most famous for turn-based battles would be free of such a scourge on a player’s last nerve, yes, but one would be tearfully wrong. The most glaring cases tend to be SRPGs in which an ‘allied’ unit that should really look into getting their treaty renegotiated is thrown into the middle of a h...

Puella Monstrum Madoka Moecha – Chapter – 10 – Mami Tomoe’s Very Special Day – Part 2

Kyouko - Being a Good Senpai Is Hard

This was not how I expected to spend my evening.

“And then… Then I keep using this stupid voice, and singing lines from the kinds of songs nobody knows I like, and everything goes downhill from there—”

Really, this was supposed to be my free day. I’ve fucked enough phantoms over the past few days that my magic is completely filled up. I don’t have anything to do. I could just relax and lie ba...

November's Plot Bunnies Poll

I’m dreadfully sorry about posting this so late in the month, I’m afraid it completely slipped my mind due to… well… I made a whole post about why I’ve been such a mess as of late.

Again, sorry about that.

Anyway! There are good news, such as somebody who shall remain anonymous until the time comes offering to commission the Kaguya one-shot as soon as I manage to chip away at the backlog (I may offer a new poll to prioritize said backlog according to your preferences in ...

All Right! Fine! I Will Take You! – Chapter 60

Long have we talked (that means more than once) about the battle-planning scene and how it relates to cooking battles with a twin-tailed tsundere, but what we’ve rarely touched upon is the battle itself. Certainly, that would seem to be the entire point of the previous scenes, as they have the word ‘battle’ in their name and anime authors are renowned the world over for their subtlety (that is: their lack of).

But that is a lie!

… Sorry, I just felt the need to say that. N...

Happy Thanksgiving to All of You!

OK, I honestly don't have a clue what Thanksgiving is all about other than having excessive amounts of food with family and friends, but, for all of you who celebrate it, have an incredible day. I'm getting there with the next All Right! Fine! I Will Take You! chapter and, after discovering it was a certain someone's birthday, I'll try to do as much as I can with the next Puella Monstrum, so look forward to it.

Wake-up Call – Chapter 63

The good thing about living in a lawless city where every LEO is either too busy running for their life or taking bribes?

Approaching intersection. Red traffic light. Lack of visibility. Pedestrian starting to cross parallel to—

No traffic cops.

I accelerate, my bike rumbling between my legs as I shoot straight past the old lady who was also disobeying the laws of Man, if not those of God, by defying the crimson light barring her from crossing the street.

Th...