endlessjess

Panel-Cast - Superman Year 1 and Other Insane Things

November is flying by like a bird, plane, or some kind of man with the characteristics of both, and I've been too busy taking care of business to take care of business. I've been out there in the streets kicking butt and being strong, having adventures and righting wrongs. Oh the stories i have. Stories far too incredible to tell you right now, so you'll have to settle for some Amazing Comics instead. 

I have not one, but 4 Tales to Astonish you all with today. First, Wres...

Friday the 13th The Game + Mass Effect Andromeda Stream

It's a Scary Spooky Bullshit miracle, i actually made a normal review for once. No yelling, no pooping my pants, not even a needlessly combative title, or humorously maniacal tangent.

Integrity is like a bicycle, you never forget how to ride it, even if most folk on youtube ain't never had it to begin with. 

In today's Scary Spooky Bullshit i'm diving dick-first into the cold cunt of online multiplayer games, which combines all the pointlessness of r...

Watch If You Dare + Silent Hill Tier List

Movie Bad. Bad movie like poop. Me make video saying movie bad with poopy sound effects so you know its poopy and bad. Comedy.

Scary Spooky Bullshit Month continues with yet another awful fucking horror movie. When will the nightmare end? November, obviously. But monsters never really go away and nightmares never really end, they just takes new forms. 

In edition to dumping all over Watch If You Dump, i also slapped together a spicy new tier list for the spooky season, Silent...

Layers of Fear - Review and LongPlay

Oh my God i can't keep track of the days anymore. When did I post this? Scary Spooky Bullshit Month is too intense, i'm lost in a haunted-ass funhouse of spooky fuckin movies and dooky god damn games. 

Here's my insightful scary spooky bullshit episode on Layers of Fear, a video game. Cool. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwia8-eDoMg

But that's not all, there's also this comfy, chi...

Buff Movie Buffs - Last Blood

Oh poop i plum forgot to plop this nuclear piledriver of a podcast onto a patreon post! 

Yes it's true, The Mega-Powers have exploded all your computer screen, phone, or crappy 6 hour battery life ear buds. 

In lieu of this kick-ass cataclysm, we interrupt your regularly scheduled Scary Spooky Bullshit to bring you a Mighty Movie Team-Up. We're buff, we're the stuff, and the girls can't get enough. We're a couple of Wild Childs here to kick ass, lick gash, and collect ca...

Scary Spooky Bullshit Returns

Oh god, Oh Satan, Oh every kooky ooky dook in between, Scary Spooky Bullshit Month is here for Halloween! A whole horrifying month of... gulp... doing my job. Ruh Roh. 

How many videos will i manage to crank out this time before giving up and saying "fuck this shit" just like my hero, Superhumman, challenging the Gods themselves by jumping nutsack first onto a barbed wire toilet made of legos before getting F5'd into a dumpster full of di...

Wowee Zowie, it's Half-Life

I've got half a mind to live half my life in a half-alive state of halfhearted... no, on second thought i'm abandoning this bit, it's too stupid. 

Half-Life, one of those real tentpole games everyone yammers on about decades later. This actually came out on PS2 back in the day but i never played, instead i played the (in my mind) vastly superior Red Faction, where you can sort of blow up walls! But not really... but kinda!

I played Half-Life 2 and it's episodes back when The ...

I'm Going Postal Baby!

Boy oh boy, i had fun with this one... i think. My journey through the ancient halls of ye old PC gaming library continues with the original outrage machine, Postal 2. A game with... Gary Coleman! He's a midget! That was funny in 2003, you'll just have to take my word for it. Also you can pee on people. So in other words the game is fantastic. 

By the way, for your convenience i should point out this shit doesn't really get going until about 6 and a half minutes in. The beginning i...

Playing God.

Oh yeah baby, this is the shit i love, the shit i live for, this is the POWER floating through the VEINS of the WARRIOR! 

Since i assembled my first actual "computer" machine in 2015 one of the purest and last joys in my life has been going back and experiencing the decades-spanning library of acclaimed and beloved PC games that never graced my precious Poopstation 0. 

In a just and fair world i'd have had my baby-brain blown by these assorted masterworks in their heyday...

Colossal Labors

WOAH Look at that sick thumbnail! Damn, i love it when the random thumbnail is cool as hell. It's like going down to eat some ass and finding a 20 dollar bill in there. 

Here's my cool Labor Day labors. I, the intrepid traveller, continue to gallop, galavant, and gank my way through Shadow of The Colossus, mercilessly slaughtering even more incredibly beautiful and endangered living things in their own sacred habitats, including everyone's new favorite sky...

The Best Games of All Time!

Or at least the best games from a selection offered by whatever random 12 year old put this tier list together. If you ask me there are more than a few glaring omissions here, not to mention a concerning amount of undeserving zoomer dog shit. But have no fear, As always my immaculate taste and shining wisdom will light the way out of this murky smattering of basic bitch critical darlings, and crush this list like a hunk of coal in my Herculean fist till it glitters and gleams like a diamond i...

The Rest of The Fuckin Horizons

Screw it, here's all 4 of the remaining Horizon videos because i'm sick of this game and i'm sick of this series. I'm sick of looking at it, I'm sick of posting it, and if you're sick of watching it now's the time to rejoice because i promise you'll never have to watch another stinky Horizon Zero Dawn Lets Play from me ever again. 

This is my way of saying August kinda sucked and i didn't get anything done content wise, too much life shit. I had a big project planned but it sort of...

Resident Evil Games Tier List

Oh cool i found another one of these among my scattered debris. This one's a hell of a topic, Resident Evil games, which are all great, except the bad ones. 

You know I've been a fan of this series since the very beginning. I straight up remember when Resident Evil came out, son. Shit blew my mind. You kids today just DON'T GET IT. You can't. You had to be there. 

I've played most of these games, and you best believe i've got some real hard ass opinions on all of em, exc...

Fuck Glass 3

Bet you didn't see this coming. Well you should have, you should know by now there's always more suffering to be had by me. For now at least the greatest trilogy of our age is finally complete, and what have we learned? 

1. Glass bad

2. Mold and Mildew also bad

3. ?

Yes, the series that took 6 years and never should have been a series has finally (hopefully) reached its conclusion. Not one word of any of these videos was scripted or planned, it all came about natu...

We Back. Here's The Best game Ever.

No, not Final Fantasy 7, i meant the other best game ever. No, damn it, not Dinosaurs For Hire, either. 

Not Cool Spot. Not Bust a Move 2, Not even the fabled PS1 Frogger. Look, there's a lot of best games ever. But I'm talking about Mr. Big Dick King Kong Swingin Dong Games-Can-Be-Art-Now himself, the Prince of the Prom, The Shadow Of The Fockin Colossus.

I played it for 3 and a half hours, and fell in love with it all over again every 5 seconds. I was gonna beat th...

Return To Deliverance

Here's the second part of my trek through Kingdom Come: Deliverance, my new favorite baby history toy. Its like some kind of educational DOS game you'd play in elementary school in 1995, only it's 2019 and it's a first person Skyrim sort of thing. The key difference being that i had more fun playing this game for a combined total of 4 hours than i've had playing Nordy Shouty for the last 7 years. 

You can do anything in this game, as long as it's within the bounds of historical rea...

Remember TIER LISTS? Here's a Zelda one.

Oh crap. I forgot i recorded like a million of these a while back. Remember when these were a thing for a week? Well prepare to relive those glory days with this warm slice of early 2019 nostalgia. 

In addition to this Zelda one, i also recorded a Resident Evil one, some wrestling ones, a music one which i'll never post because the microphone screwed up again and it makes me a rage, an anime one which is mostly just me going "i don't know what the fuck that is" over and over, and a...

Babadook Spook Meets Tank Mcspank

Oh God. See what happens? See what happens when they take away my Twitch? I was hoping we wouldn't have to see this guy for a solid peaceful eon, but here he comes again. Risen from his grave full of piss, vinegar, and vomit... it's the Babadook Fucking Spook. I'm sorry but they left me no other option. 

In this episode exactly fuck all is accomplished except that Babadook Spook meets his match in more ways than one. First he's confronted with a previously unrevealed new c...

Lost In The Woods.

Behold the premiere of my new.... short film? Yeah why not. 

This is a true story about my actual life but it's also a movie, as is my actual life for that matter. Also it's patreon exclusive because fuck everybody, no one deserves this midsummer masterpiece except patrons. I have nothing but contempt for the world of man and I'll let the worms feast on my corpse before I allow the unwashed masses the privilege of viewing even one of my many adventures for free!

This is the r...

Twitch: No Fun Allowed

Oops, I did it again. I had too much fun. Deplatformed and banned. Sorry everybody, i was looking forward to doing some cool twitch streams this summer, but i have this nasty little habit of doing absolutely nothing wrong that always gets me in trouble. 

The other night i did a long, very laid back marathon gaming stream, i guess because i was just feeling friendly. I thought the stream went great, lots of laughs, great interaction from the chat, great video games, good times. So i...

Monthly Horizon Complaining

Uh oh. It's that time of the month again. Time to remember that time i played Horizon. 

This is still all from the last session i recorded before having to pack all my stuff into storage. Someone in a comment suggested i record some blue glows of... you know... good games. I'd love to. Since i've been playing so much Super Nintendo lately, that should be easy, but alas, my video game footage capture thingy is also in storage. So instead of sharing cool stuff like Link To T...

Beer Quest - The Return Nobody Asked For

Well, my idiot ass went and bought a bunch of piss-flavored moose juice again so i had no choice but to film a Beer Quest on this smelly old webcam. Join me on this vomitus voyage to find out which noxious brew manages to be the most least terrible. We're gonna fly this pee-pee plane straight into the Hurl Trade Center and we're not stopping till we wake up next to Princess Diana in Hell. 

Oh God. What the hell else is there to even say about this? It's just me drinking beer and be...

Kingdumb Kum D-LIVER-ANTS

Holy crap i found a game i actually like, and i spelled the name wrong on purpose ha ha what a funneh joak. 

I'm pretty sure that before i even started playing this game i just decided to love it, so much so that by the time it started i had already assured myself of it's quality. It's basically the opposite of Horizon: Zero Dawn, and therefore it's everything a game should be. That was my reasoning at the time and it's hard to disagree with myself. Usually that's not as hard as yo...

Wrestling! - More Mox, Undertaker Saudi Disaster

 Ha Ha here's another funny wrestling podcast I'm dying inside tee hee!

On this episode of "Recording Random Podcasts In The Middle of Nowhere Because What The Hell Else Am I Gonna Do?" I talk about yet another disastrous WWE Saudi Arabia Show, and some more New Japan Stuff, which is generally less disastrous. Also i talk a lot about beans in this episode for some reason. Leave me alone i just love beans. 

Blah Blah Blah, jokes jokes jokes, words... words.. paragraphs. B...

I Am Zoom.

Did somebody say insane video game podcasts? Well here's another one, recorded on a whim for no reason that i can think of. 

No wait, i'm remembering. Give me a second here. Let me access the vaulted depths of my mystical mind and travel back in time to a week and a half ago... to align my focus and recall my motives when i recorded this.... okay got it. 

The origin of this retardation starts about 3 or maybe 4 weeks ago. I was stuck in a hotel room (as i tend to be thes...

E3 - Endless Extreme Enlightenment

Welcome to the jungle, welcome to my nightmare and welcome to the show. This is what happens when a man with nothing left to lose and everything left to prove gets lost in the desert on 60s drugs and then remembers he's suppose to be a radio show or something talking about video-game machines and whatnot. 

Shambling at full zombie speed like a rage-virus Rambo into the rusty trailer with the old timey TV antenna and no working lights, in one swift motion he adorns himself with his ...

AAAHH WRESTLING - AEW, MOXLEY, CRAPPY HOTEL PEOPLE

Oh my god this hotel sucks every hotel sucks help. 

I thought living in the kingdom of The Weed Man was bad, but the lawless wasteland that is "the other hotel across the street" makes me long for the days of that Green Fiend's Stinky Regime. This ghetto-ass poopy-place makes WeedCastle look like Donny Trump's Golden-Shower Sex-Tower, and it's not even substantially less expensive. 400 buckaroonies a week to watch endless Teen Titans Go marathons while stuck to the bed in a solid b...