I got this game free and tried to play it but it was too confusing and too stupidly made and the menus were stupid and everything was stupid and it sucked butt and it fucking sucked and i fuckin hate it.
This is the blue glow, where i play the best games and i'm the best at them... but this game sucks and i suck at it.
I don't even know what to do with this nonsense, it's just me being lost, confused, and increasingly annoyed. So i'm sticking it here at the end of the ...
2019-06-01 03:34:22 +0000 UTC
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It's the return of the most grumbly-ass lets play series ever. Me. Horizon: Zero Dawn. A match made in a gas station toilet.
How's everybody doing tonight? Just taking it easy? Working hard? Hardly working? Livin large? Living it up? Living the quiet life? Livin life in the fast lane? Live and let live? Live and let die? Takin a bite out of life? Biting off more than you can chew? Chewin the fat? Fat... being fat. Being a fat cat. Hating mondays. Garfield. Everyone is garfield. Ok...
2019-06-01 01:32:41 +0000 UTC
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Oh crap. It's a lost episode of the Regular Drk SolZ that i completely forgot about.
This takes place somewhere between Onion Man's horrible introduction and the time i fucked around at Ash Lake.
Here i am in the Tomb of Giants, one of many worst areas of the game in this game. Every game needs a dark level, where the developers say "gee, wouldn't it be cool if the player couldn't see anything?"
No. It wouldn't, but that doesn't stop them. Game developers all have a br...
2019-06-01 00:44:03 +0000 UTC
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This entire hotel smells like pot. Like every floor of the building. Strongly. The hallways smell of pot. The people especially smell of pot. Even the smoke detectors are constantly going off.
Now i don't want to point fingers, but i think i have a hunch who the culprit might be. Now hear me out. Could it be... the man in the weed suit, with the matching green crocodile boots, who drives a green van that also has weed painted all over it, and says THE WEED MAN in all capital lette...
2019-05-30 10:50:54 +0000 UTC
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Good Gravy are these things already up to 5? I'm not even through the ps4 hard drive section yet. Just wait till i get to Fabled Shelves of Endless Physical Media.
In this one i talk about... i don't know a bunch of shit, but the real fun starts when i get to Persona 5, which people have been asking for my thoughts on forever. Well, here you finally go. This bad boi shows up at around 11 minutes in and takes over the entire video from that point on. Turns out i had a lot to say. &...
2019-05-30 10:18:43 +0000 UTC
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Oh boy oh crap oh damn. Time for another exciting Written Post/ update/chronicle of my life and times/diary of a pharaoh-wizard.
Boy oh Boy, oh Golly oh Gee, What's the haps with Endlet Je. I bet you're all dying to know what's going on in my world of chaos and ironic catastrophe this week. What wacky new cursed fate has befallen me? What Tales To Astonish does Endo Jendo's Theatre of the Absurd have in store for us now...
2019-05-29 12:23:13 +0000 UTC
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Hey, look who i've briefly reunited with... my good microphone! Only to have it randomly stop working halfway through a recording. Fuckin beautiful. -_____-
Mother's Day was this week so I'm helpin my mommy move into a new (much smaller) house, which means i have a few days of actually being near my computer and being able to record some precious content for you. It's definitely a one-person sized place so once she's set up i'll be back on the road, but since i have a few days here i de...
2019-05-16 03:01:59 +0000 UTC
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Here's the continuing saga of me being an old grumbly man bitching snarkily at a mechanically decent but basically worthless game. Thankfully the baby-level tutorial is finally over and now the game gets to start.
Oh god i'm really bitching up a cunt-storm in this one. Most of these complaints aren't even real. Oh thank god im doing a baby girl song now. That's where it's at. That's when I'm at my best.
Does anyone even care about this game? I've never heard a single p...
2019-05-01 04:56:18 +0000 UTC
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I'm pretty sure this is funnier than it has any right to be. So the way i did these regular dark solz videos is that by just playing the game and recording footage while sort of multi tasking, then went back and did commentary over the footage later. In some cases, much later.
This episode was footage i forgot i even had so it was like 8 months later and i had no idea what the footage was even gonna be. It sounds horrible but it actually creates a pretty interesting dynamic that y...
2019-05-01 04:36:04 +0000 UTC
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Hey what do you know i'm STILL just talkin games. I'll be just talkin games till i'm shackled and chained. in a prison. For people who... talk... too much... games. Yeah.
Let's see, what games get talked about this time. I don't know how about... uh... STEEP. Which i think is a snowboarding game. But i could be wrong because you have to sign up for some online shit to play it, which means there's no reason to ever play it. Also... PINBALL games. Carrying on the noble tradition sta...
2019-05-01 01:03:45 +0000 UTC
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Oh god what the heck is this weird anime shit. I don't even know what to write here. This is a dating sim or as the zoomers call them an "erotic visual novel", that i'm pretty sure i got for like 99 cents or something. Right now it's going for like 12 dollars and i don't understand why nor do i ever wish to understand.
So i think i started playing this game because for some reason i thought it would be silly and wacky cause lol sex or something. I sort of assumed there would be li...
2019-04-30 20:45:12 +0000 UTC
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Hey look what I found, it's another Resident Evil 2 video that i probably should have posted 2 months ago when people still cared about this game! Remember the Resident Evil 2 Remake? Remember 2019? Oh crap we're still in it. That's the real nightmare. Current Year am I right?
Also damn, that's a pretty cool thumbnail. Anyways i just found out best buy is giving away ps1 classics for super cheap so i ain't got time to right a huge post or even correct my spelling of the word ...
2019-04-29 19:48:40 +0000 UTC
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Wowie Fuckin Zowie, True Believers! Remember Panel-Cast? It's back! In audio form! Recorded in a cave with a box of scraps, with no video and zero editing and every horrible, evil thing i said left in, as all things should be.
Yes it's true, like your mom's facebook posts say, not all who wander are lost
2019-04-29 00:40:52 +0000 UTC
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Where in the world is Endlett Je? Well it's a funny little decade-long horror-story, and maybe someday i'll tell it... but the bottom line is i've bottomed out, so bottom's up cause i'm on the run with a smokin gun and I ain't never going back to the kayfabe Klink.
In other words i'm officially homeless, but don't get all bummed out about it cause trust me, it's an improvement. I'm currently making this post from a Starbucks 1200 miles across the country in search of the Real Amer...
2019-04-28 03:24:49 +0000 UTC
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Here's a livestream i did of Sonic 2 where i also answered some questions. It's a video. I don't know what else to write about it so here's some horrible rhymes.
my name is sonic hedgehog
i run fast then i crap out a red log
i leave a poopy dooky trail on the grass
from the rocket powered gas booster blast from my ass
my buddy tails he can follow me around
by following my poopy shitty trail on the ground
i'm sonic fucking hedgehog and...
2019-04-01 04:58:45 +0000 UTC
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Help. I am lost in dimension X with no internet, i had to Macgyver this brief connection out of a toaster, 2 thumbtacks and half a bottle of butt-lube. No time for a big long written post either, i'm on the run from Bebop and Rocksteady. yes. Bebop and Rocksteady are real guys, and they mad as hell about something or other.
Here's part... umm... part something of my Regular Dark Souls run. This time i'm in Izaleth, which is sort of also a kind of hell. I honestly don't even rememb...
2019-04-01 04:53:07 +0000 UTC
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Hey everybody, remember The Legend of Zelda Breath of The Wild? Good game, huh? But you know what would make it better? If it took itself really seriously. And was full of boring cutscenes. And every character was a primitive idiot caveman. And instead of just starting it makes you play a 3 hour baby-girl tutorial. And it was bad. Remember good games? Wouldn't they be better if they were bad?
Actually, this game is pretty good. Not like... great. But it's okay. This baby-girl part can g...
2019-03-29 16:05:04 +0000 UTC
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Here are the highlights of my long and tenacious attempt to conquer the Hunk campaign in REmake 2. For those not aware Hunk mode is an extra-hard bonus-rush from the poopy depths of the swampy sewers up through the police station to get the heck outta dodge.
When i was a kid, playing OG Hunk on OG RE 98 i had all the time in the world to master it, along with any uppity-ass video game that came along and dared to think it could challenge me. But with age goes patience, right out t...
2019-03-28 12:15:04 +0000 UTC
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I know everyone's been itching to see another one of these, or at least one guy has. I think i'm going to make these a patron exclusive thing because i don't want to flood the channel with them. Lucky yoo.
Lets see, what games do i be talkin bout dis time? Howz aboot summadat dare fukkin uh Q-BERT. Yeh. Dats whut duh fukkin kids today want. Dats what they talkin bout at fukkin recess and lunch and latchkey and fukkin catykism. Dats Whut they talkin bout when dey finger each udder ...
2019-03-25 12:36:48 +0000 UTC
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Yes sir. That right there is a thumbnail. A damn fine one if i say so myself.
Here's my pointlessly grumbly collection of complaints and grievances about a game that was awesome and that i actually loved. Resident Evil 2 was one of those games i really played the fuck out of as a kid. It came out right at that perfect time in my childhood where life was actually kind of cool. Like between the ages of 7 and 10, after that it goes right down the shitter and never recovers. It was on...
2019-03-22 13:02:54 +0000 UTC
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I normally don't like to make the wrestling videos the first post of the month, since they don't typically get that many views, which makes me feel like not everyone wants to be paying for them. But my stupid Resident Evil video isn't done yet so if you hate wrestling you'll just have to learn to love it, and hey, i can't think of a better way to start loving wrestling than listening to yours truly cum in my undies over the epic saga of The Miz's Dad.
Fastlane is an interesting pa...
2019-03-14 20:59:16 +0000 UTC
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Alright last post before i retire for the evening. As we're all unfortunately aware, February is the month that contains the dreaded Day of Saint Valentine. For those of you lucky enough to be unsuccessful in love, that simply means another day of cool masturbation, but the rest of us have to be out buying gifts and shit. Except for me that is, because this year i unlocked the secret to never having to spend money on Valentine's crap ever again. My own brilliantly creative brain.
...
2019-03-01 04:58:34 +0000 UTC
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Well we've finally made it, this is the last babadook spook video i have recorded. This is the last time you'll see the Spookiest Dook of all until i make more. Which could be immediately, never, or any amount of time in between.
I think people are getting sick of these so maybe a break is in order, although frankly i can't imagine why. I have come to feel a deep love for babadook Spook and his many adventures, and i feel his slow burn character arc of grappling with his own exist...
2019-03-01 03:18:00 +0000 UTC
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I asked people in my discord whether they wanted to see Babadook Spook or me babbling about juggalo stuff while dying repeatedly on the first level of Nioh, and the result was overwhelmingly in favor of this. I don't know why Babadook Spook gets no love, but all you die-hard babadook spook fans (of which i am one) can take it up with the people who voted against our spooky boi.
I can't get a grasp on whether i like this game or not. I like Dark Souls, which this game is clearly tr...
2019-03-01 01:27:54 +0000 UTC
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I am reasonably certain that this video is an abomination that must never be seen, but here it is. This is a documentation of a rare occurrence for me, a night on which i am simultaneously in a streaming mood, and a 70s drugs mood.
This is a random stream i did of Resident Evil 2 at like 2:30 in the morning while legitimately high as a fucking kite. This is not a regular thing nor do i intend for it to be. This kind of retardation is a sometimes snack at best.&nbs...
2019-02-28 21:12:52 +0000 UTC
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Okay this is the last Kingdom Hearts post I swear (probably). Here is a metric fuck-ton of laffs and gaffs with yours truly actually playing kingdom hearts 3. This was a 4 hour stream that i put an absurd amount of thought into cutting down to 45 minutes, and then an even more stupid amount of time cutting down further to 27 minutes. The 27 minute version I'm uploading publicly, but since you're all giving me money you've earned the full 45 minute version, as well as a 20 minute bonus video. ...
2019-02-22 21:22:11 +0000 UTC
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It's time for my annual video essay about a popular game that will get an absurdly high number of views and have way too many people taking it seriously. This is kingdom Hearts 3, i know i already did a kingdom hearts 3 video this month but i accidentally had more thoughts. Now i must commence my 24 hours in the corner, which is where i send myself every time i post something resembling an opinion on the internet. Sins must be punished.
To succeed on youtube is to embrace the role...
2019-02-21 22:32:44 +0000 UTC
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I haven't streamed in like a hundred years but i randomly started doing it again lately. I'm sure i'll get sick of it again eventually but for now, you can peep my twitch if you see me streamin.
https://www.twitch.tv/endlessjess
This highlight reel is from the first night of my pointlessly random twitch return. I called this a secret stream cause i didn't intend on promoting it, except maybe to archive...
2019-02-11 00:09:47 +0000 UTC
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A vegan, a voter, and a guy who's never played Kingdom Hearts walk into a bar. Don't worry, they'll tell you all about it.
God, deliver me. Save me from other people's youtube videos. Life would be a walk in the park were it not for continuously stepping in the festering dog shit that is other people's youtube videos. The landscape is a minefield of poopy dog-slime. Ahyuck.
Seriously, please, enough of this shit. Can there be just one week that goes by without there be...
2019-02-04 16:45:15 +0000 UTC
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I've been hoping to post more stuff on here that isn't youtube, maybe to get people used to the idea of me branching out to platforms beside youtube and creating stuff that isn't dependent on a video format. So here's a soundcloud post. I recorded and posted 3 songs on there this month, and considering how few people know about my soundcloud i'm guessing there's older stuff on there you probably haven't heard either. So feel free to browse now that you know of it's existence.
I ho...
2019-02-01 04:58:31 +0000 UTC
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