endlessjess

Doom Raider - The Stupid Conclusion

Here's the last part of the tomb raider lets play series unless we someday record more. If you were hoping for a grand finale... well.... here's Lara getting trapped in a jail cell and slowly losing what's left of her mind walking back and forth loudly reminiscing about the Legacy of Kain Series, before finally breaking out and having a spiritual breakdown in front of a projector, giving up on her quest forever, presumably to go home to her mansion and get fat as fuck in a self-destructive spira...

Dragonball Xenoverse Glowin - exclusive

Here's some good old footage of this good old boi watching some good old footage of himself playing some good old Dragonball Xenoverse 2 on the sony playstation 4 entertainment console and recording some good old vaguely entertaining stream of consciousness audio. 

Man what am i doing i really need to start actually telling people about all these exclusive videos i never even announced this shit what is wrong with me?

plEAse Enjoy me game playing pleAse HeLP oh nOO crAP i am being S...

WWE HELL IN A CELL

....and that's how Brother Nero lost his Ear-O.

Hero Siege, Pirate Edition (exclusive)

Gather round, bastard boyz and cabin girlz, to hear the grog-soaked tale of a legendary hero. A hero who was mostly evil. Jetski Jane, the Insane Pirate Dame, Harlot of The High Seas and Skank of The Plank, she puts the motion in your ocean and the shank in your spank. 

Those are the official lyrics to her unofficial work-in-progress theme song. She's the star of this here motion picture. All she does is crimes and all she loves is being a salty whore. 

This is Hero Siege, a ro...

Fission Macomplished - exclusive

Hey wowie it's valkyria chronicles remember that game? Its like ww2 only its like an anime or something. 

it start s off and you r this boy named Shulk and you live on the mother tree with all the rest of the rape apes. But then the Nation of Domination attacks and it's all out war. It's a real rumble in the jungle, a rumble in the Bronx, a thunder down under and a brawl for all. If you thought Vietnam was traumatic you haven't smelled anything yet. So many people died in this great confl...

Talkin Games 2 - Ceaseless Complaining

Oh shit here's another one of these. I sure do like games except for the ones i hate. Well, i mean hate is a strong word i don't know if i actually hate any game, that seems pretty immature. Like in order to have actual hatred in your heart for something as ultimately harmless as a bad game you'd have to have a pretty charmed life. 

Like honestly, how easy has your life been if that's what hate is to you. I don't hate any video games. That's silly. I only hate p...

What The Heck Is Sine Mora Ex? (exclusive)

The answer: Some weird furry airplane shooter with robots and trains made by famous Japanese people where you control time or something. What a fun time. What a fun ass good ass gay ass time. 

Watch out for Hyper Guardian Train Matouschka he's a pretty scary guy.

Raidin Them Tombs Forever (exclusive)

oh god its more of me with digi playing stuff and games and things and tombs and dooms and dames and dudes with games. 

Topics in this episode: 

-girls being cute and hot

-girls being #notfat

-weird al

-doom

-something else

-brony tales

When all of these have at last been posted the world will become cool. Like really cool. For at least a week. 

Just Talkin Games

Here's an experiment to see if i'm still able to put out a reasonably entertaining main channel video without the benefit of writing a script or giving a shit. Succeed or fail is up to you, i guess. 

This is the kind of content that youtube demands in terms of algorithmic success. Low-effort unscripted regular guy "content" that can be released regularly and frequently. I'm of 2 minds about it. I don't think content like this is invalid, nor do i think less of anyone for enjoying it, i wa...

Sound Criminals

I can't tell if this video sucks or not. It feels sort of old school. It's just a protracted rant about things that annoy me with some jokes in it. I hope no guitar players disown me. It's just a joke. I'm sorrrrry. oohhhh. ooooOOHHh. Oohooooohh . 

Rat King. What a jerk. 

SpoOky HeLL mAn.

Taught. Tight. Buttocks. 

what the hell is the title of this? That's not even his name. Spooky Hell Man is like some off-brand guy. 

Here's another fuking babadook spook thing i sure hope its funny i can'tt tell because my girlfirnds cookies all have pot in them so my mind is all stupid. Help. 

im watchin g this movie  rigth now i dont even know what it is. Some shit about a gas station and some white people. But there's a monster. 

This shit is broin...

Exclusive - Red Faction

I just dropped a fucking X-box controller on my fucking toe. The rage i currently feel can not be contained. Once again i feel a wave of depression washing over me. It fucking really hurt. Im mad. Fuck. 

Here's drunk red faction. Fuck. 

Beast Wrestler - exclusive

rEady oR noT 

hEre i cOme

yoU cAnT hiDe

Im gONna FiNd yOu

and pLay beaST wREStLer

3 dollar bonus - Oldschool Fool #4

This is all spooky all gamecube episode oh man hoyl shiiiityhruegiergbh

5 dollar bonus - The Doom Store

This weird nightmare was supposed to be a lets play of doom64 but we failed spectacularly. Now it only deserves to be seen as a free bonus for dedicated friends and pumptreons.  

Tomb Raidin Part 3 - patron exclusive

You guys are the best. My birthday is coming up and I'm getting the fuck away from this vile cesspool of malice and mob justice called the internet for a few days, so i'm going to post some stuff for you to vibe with while i do my best not to fall into a hopeless vortex of utter despair at the state of humanity.

Here my adventure through Rise of The Tomb Raider w/Digi continues. I hope it brings you many laffs and feelings of friendships. I wish i had more impressive content to show you but th...

Hollow Knight - patron exclusive.

hollow knight is a game where you go in a hole and at the bottom of the hole there are bugs and you are maybe a bug but your more like a skull kid but not like THE skull kid just a regular ass kid who happens to be a skull kid with a skull or a skull-shaped helmet or some shit you go on this adventure exploring and fighting bugs and the bugs are bad but some of the bugs are good and some of them are your friend and you gotta run around and fight and thats the whole thing right there just being a...

Patron Exxlcusive - More Sonc Mania Again

This is the last of the sonic mania session, we didn't beat the whole game but maybe we'll come back to it one of these days. So until then enjoy that stupid little ugly little shitty little dumb idiot blue rodent spinning around and fucking stickin his stupid dick into a bunch of dumb asshole furry sidekicks and tails is there shitting out his fucking ass and the shit is getting fed into the fan of his spinning tails while he's helicoptering around and its just fucking spraying fucking shit eve...

IT'S VADER TIME

Man, the amount of tedious shit i had to do to get this video up. You don't even wanna know about it here. But it's Vader. it's Big Van Vader. 

I don't really have much to say here, it's all in the video. Vader was a man. He was a huge man. He was a great man. He killed many and lived with no remorse. 

TBH i think maybe half the video getting blocked worked out for the best. I mean don't get me wrong dailymotion is fucking terrible in every way, but its probably better for the ...

The Rest of The fukkin E3

Thank god i can go back to never talking about video games again. Until i do. 

Here's the rest of my goofs and wise guy quips concerning the convention of the 3 Es. If there's anything i still didn't talk about, that means it was probably just good but not in a funny way. Or something. 

I should probably get to work on whatever the next project is but it's 3:30 in the morning and i am fucking naked so i'm gonna eat 6 moon-pies and fall asleep on the crumbs. As is my nightly Chr...

Refunct, A Really Cool Game.

This bad boy is currently cheap as hell on the Steam sale. Actually it's always cheap as hell but it's currently even more cheap as hell, like under a dollar cheap. I suggest it to anyone, even though this playthrough shows the entire game so it's not like there's anything left to see, but i really liked it and i hope it's supported. 

I'll release this publicly soon, hopefully before the sale ends. But you guys get to see it first. I have plans for the Blue Glow channel, i've been releasi...

Not a Review Podcast #2 (Exclusive)

Oh god. Another one of these. More (Not) Reviews from a life (Not) lived. This time i'm taking a cruise down the Night-Road, pontificating and articulating the most cynical, hateful, miserable tirade anyone's ever had about ice cream. 

Jesus I'm laying in bed and i've got fuckin pork rind crumbs all over my chest. God get it off me it's all in my chest hair. Well this is it. This is where I fucking give up. This was the last straw. Eating pork rinds in bed was my final mistake and quite f...

More Tomb Raidin w/digi

Here's a full ass hour of me and digi raidin tombs and sellin dooms from the period of Blue Glowing which can only be referred to as The Jeff Foxworthy Sessions.

Topics we touch on

-Mater the fuckin Toe Truck

- Jeff Foxworthy (again)

- "Full Digital"

- More Jeff Foxworthy

- Literally non-stop discussion about Jeff Foxworthy for like 19 hours straight

- an early read of digi's "weird anime sex" video

- a bunch of other random bullshit

I...

SONNIIIIICCC

Here's more of me being a drunken idiot playing sonic mania. In this episode we get down to the really important issues of our time. Specifically the philosophical quandary "who is the finest, sexiest, most perfect, purest piece of ass in the history of babes and why is it obviously Tanya Goddamn Mousekewitz?" I don't remember what else we talked about but i'm sure all of it pales in importance to this universal constant. 

Babadook Spook's Darkest Adventure

...and by darkest i mean you literally can barely see anything. This was not intentional. It just rendered that way for some reason and by the time i noticed it, i had already deleted the raw footage. Sorry!

These 4 spooky episodes weave together a tale every bit as macabre as it is stupid and pointless. A terrifying excursion into the depths of undead depravity. A... fuckin... a scary spooky fuckin bullshit. 

After untold eons locked away in the undead asylum, The pevers...

The Convention with 3 E's

E3 is like a big party, except no one has any fun, and also it's nothing like a party. Every year hundreds of dudes, dudettes, and evil corporations crawl out of the steaming cracks of the earth to congregate in search of precious E's. Inevitably their search leads them here, to the convention that has more E's than anyone. A convention you can enjoy... with the greatest of E's. 

Every character in Kingdom Hearts has a vagina, and much like Donald Duck I plan to sample them all. I don't w...

Bonus! Oldschool Fool #3

Hey hey a new bonus podcast/video thing only for patrons. Love you! Please never abandon me! 

Exclusive - More Sonic Mania

This booziest series of all time returns exclusively for all my loyal patreon pals, as the always lovely Beatrix F. Loozy and I continue our magical journey through the quite excellent Sonic Mania. These just get progressively drunker and more insane. In case you missed the first part it's right here. 

Part 1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUa5gH49XAs

Thank you all for another month...

Trivia God Has A One Night Stand

Oh god i've been lost in a scary Blue Glow tunnel. I can't stop playing cool games. Oh crap i don't feel so good. That's not an avengers reference i literally am dying. 

That stupid god of war video took so goddamn long i couldn't get nothing else done this month but a dumb rap and a bunch of lets plays. This is the price i pay for actually making something good for once. Tossed down the blue glow hole with no escape. No escape from fun. A cursed fate. 

Anyways here's two more ...

Exclusive - Rise Of The Tomb Raider

HOly Shiiit It's the return of the mysterious lost Digi and Jess lets plays? Just how many of these are there? I'll never tell. 

Boy oh Boy i sure do like them video games and them video games and them video fuckin games holy shit holy crap

this here is tomb raider. tomb raider is a nice girl who likes to raid tombs. and you can raid tombs too if you come on down to the tomb department here at the raider store. We got doom raiders tomb raiders oakland raiders all the damn...