endlessjess

Novacaine

AAA: Requiem for La Parka?

Summerslam Night 2

Summerslam Night 1

AEW All In 2025

Saturday Night's Main Event

I've still got some wrestling crap to catch up on, although considering the past week, it might be nicer to stay in the past, rather than persist in the Hulkster-less present. It's a gloomy post-Hogan world, bereft of Hulkamania. There's no Hulkamaniacs here. This is not the Real America.

Anyway, here's Goddamn Goldberg's last gasping grapple against the good guy, Gunther. There's also a few dozen new bloodline people to memorize, and everyone's favorite part of modern WWE, lame celebr...

Amazing Comics - Daredevil by Brubaker Vol 1

I took a moment out of my busy life being tossed around by the fates in a storm of chaos to sit down and talk about a comic book. Too much is happening in this life and there is much that weighs upon me. Daredevil knows. He gets it. He's the only guy that understands my plight, so it's my job to tell you about his.

In this morbid chapter of Matt Murdock's miserable life he's in jail with a bunch of lowlifes. Then he gets out just in time to get drawn in to some broad's plot cause she s...

WWE Evolution

Looks like they did another one of these for some reason. It's the second WWE all ladies show. The first one was in 2018. Why did they wait so long to do another one? I don't know. Why do another one at all? I also don't know.

Whatever, I'm not complaining. It was the best show they could have put out to erase the stink of another sportswashing Saudi suck-off party. At least on this show the chicks can actually wrestle without suffering a heat stroke from wearing a full body scuba suit...

Night of Champions

It's wrestling time again. It's always wrestling time and it never isn't. Too much damn wrestling this weekend. I barely survived just watching it all. Hold on, this one isn't even from this last weekend. This is the previous week's show. What the hell is going on? I can't even keep up.

Right right, the saudi thing. These Saudi shows are so weird and lame they go right through me. I do not care about this region of the Earth or anything that happens there, and nobody, not even John Cen...

A Complete Unknown

They say music biopics are all the same. There's a rise and a fall with all these tired beats, as predictable as the pop music they're centered around. But that's because every story of success is the same. The fickle masses who claim to love you will inevitably turn on you and destroy you because that's just what people are. Rotten.

But apparently none of that ever happened to Bob Dylan, because this movie is nothing like that. This guy is just too aloof, smug, and pr...

ATM

Not even the Josh-Man, Josh can save this joint from being stunk up by this slimy turd. In this one Josh forgets to build a door on a little ATM building, which apparently is a thing that exists somewhere. He's trapped in there with two losers, and there's a killer outside. That's the whole plot, and no, there aren't any twists or developments that make it more interesting. What you smell is what you get.

Why is the killer? No one knows. What's his plan or purpose? Nothing, it's never ...

Good American Family

This is miserable and shouldn't be watched by anyone but the most morbidly curious, and deranged true crime addicts desperate to get their fix of other people's suffering. It's the story of what happens when stupid middle class white people base their parenting around schlocky horror movies they think are real.

It's a yucky, uncomfortable experience that you have to keep watching once you've started to see how demented it gets. Nobody watches this on purpose. You walk into a room and s...

Bill and Ted Face The Music

This is a movie about Keanu Reeves attempting to tap in to a character played by his much younger self, and being visibly uncomfortable about it the whole time. This man has simply lived too much to be the Ted of days long past, but he's trying with all his might, for you. Appreciate the attempt or learn to let go, people.

Fortunately Alex Winter has been cryogenically frozen all this time, and is somehow even more Bill than he was 30 years ago. His energy carries none of the pain that ...

Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret.

This is a movie for girls, but i watched it anyway because nothing matters in this damn crapping hell. I'm basically an animal at the trough at this point, gorging on whatever pig slop is in front of me until it's time to go pass out in the mud, I don't care.

Life is a factory and I'm the product. Enjoy my scattered observations and barely held together assessments of this beloved coming of age tale, celebrated for decades and finally barfed out onto a movie screen. God left us long ago...

Smile 2

hee hee ha ha ho ho here's a happy little stinky horror movie about an ugly monster with bullshit powers that's gonna getcha. Don't even try to escape the smile demon cause he's gonna crawl up your butt and make you dead.

They're gonna make a hundred of these movies and it'll be the same thing every time. Don't even bother trying to avoid them. You'll watch them one way or another. There's no escape from the smile goblin.

The Color Purple

It's time for the real shit. The realest, most hardcore shit on the planet. I'm talking about The Color Purple, son. A movie so good it will make you black and a woman, and you'll have to watch Con Air to turn back into a white guy.

If the modern age has turned you into an empty emotionless husk, this film is the medicine to make you feel stuff again. Classic.

a 4th of July Hot Dog.

I don't know what the hell there is to celebrate about this nation of player hation, but before I get deported for being a revolutionary and sticking it to the man my entire life, here's a legendary 4th of July video that was filmed a hundred years ago and never posted because the world doesn't deserve it.

But times are tough and it's needed now, more than ever. So I'm graciously allowing it to be seen by the privileged few who can afford to be here, because that's the American way. Yo...

Money In The Bank 2025

Yeah it's money in the bank alright. Now we know how the money gets in the bank. Ads. Ads on the ring, ads on the barricade, ads on the turnbuckles, ads on the lADders. Pretty soon there will be ads on the ads. The show won't even be called Money In The Bank anymore, they're drop all pretenses and just call it Ads In The Ads featuring Logan Paul.

WWE AAA World's Collide

Just like the good old days, the WWE has consumed another wrestling promotion. This is AAA, Mexico's biggest and baddest lucha fuckfest, featuring a bunch of guys I don't care about or can't remember the names of, and the one guy i could never forget, everyone's new best friend, Mr. Iguana.

Yeah, they're seeing green alright. TKO wants that Iguana money. So do I, for that matte...

The First Omen

This was another attempt at filming something in one smooth take that I wouldn't have to edit, but now that I'm home, it gets to have a dope background, because it's a dope video and it deserves a dope background. This is made possible by my spiffy new square aspect ratio that I only recently discovered my camera can do, and am now obsessed with. Takes me back to the pre-youtube days.

Just look at it, what a badass little square video. Where am I? In a magical and mysterious place call...

Dude Bro Party Massacre 3

I watched this with a group of friends a few weeks ago slightly drunk and extremely high, which i imagine is what the filmmakers intended. The guy in the thumbnail is literally me watching this movie.

I barely remember any of it, but I remember the feeling that it was cool as hell and totally righteous. A most excellent and gnarly celebration of 80s Slasher bullshit, with the best possible Slasher, a hot babe in a scary mask. She can rip my guts out with a motorboat fan anytime, just as...

Tetsuo The Iron Man

Here's a short review or rather a simple recommendation for one of my favorite movies to watch when I'm stoned and alone at 3 am browsing the free streaming apps. There's not much that needs to be said, even devoid of context the visuals say it all. If just looking at some of this stuff doesn't convince you to check this out, you probably have buttons for eyes.

I wish i could still go in a video store to rent this, it's not even a movie you own, it feels like a rental. If i had my own ...

KPop Demon Hunters

I know even less about Korean music than I know about Korean film, and I only know two things about Korean film. Every movie about Korea is a bouncy, silly animated movie about having feelings and living your truth for girls to make fan art of and feel seen by, and every movie from Korea is a hardcore violent misery-porn about people mutilating and kicking the crap out of each other for boys to show each other in college and say "Hell yeah bro this is real cinema".

Thi...

Nimona

I know what you're thinking, me. Yuck and no thanks. One look at this character, the art style, and the expression on it's face is enough. Nimona isn't just Tumblrcore, Tumblrcore is Nimona. This is peak tumblr, the zenith, the ultimate expression of something that should have died years ago. Is it a rotten film? No. Not at all. I'm just saying it wasn't on my radar, and if it had been, I'd have wanted it off.

But I'm not really that picky. I'll watch anything, no matter how m...

Sisu V. Reacher - Deadly Double Feature

Not all one man armies are built the same. Sisu and Reacher are both unstoppable killing machines but I'd rather get killed by SIsu any day, because i know Reacher would just be insufferably smug about it. At least Sisu would have the decency to be pissed off and covered in mud while he throws a land mine at my face.

Sisu is a great little straightforward action flick about a legendary soldier with shades of Rambo or Solid Snake. That's my kind of badass. He takes a beating but doesn't ...

outside yelling about Backlash

This one can barely be called a review. It's mostly just me enjoying the outside by incoherently babbling as loud as I want and kicking at wasps. There's not a whole lot to mention about the show anyway, and I went over the important stuff in a text post here. https://www.patreon.com/posts/wrestling-130138220

Since I was out in the world, I was just trying to film something short that I could uploa...

Fashionably Late Wrestlemania Video

I was out of town so this one's old news. Fortunately, my highly intellectual observations and furious ranting tirades are as timeless as Toni Storm's ass, and as inspirational as Bayley's ass. You name a woman's ass, and I'll have an equivalent assload of verbal diarrhea for ya.

This hot rambling rampage recaps all the rage I could remember from Wrestlemania before succumbing to the oven in which I live. The only thing I didn't manage to fully remark on was the butt-stupid, assey fini...

Chronologically Confused about DK Bonanza

In this one I am forced into a complete mental collapse by this new Donkey Kong game, which looks really cool and amazing, but also appears to be a chronological clusterfuck that throws established DK lore into a blender, and then tosses the blender into a toilet, and then dumps ass all over it.

Am I the only one who cares enough about the Kongtinuity of this franchise to point out these clear contradictions? Fine then, it's a job for me and no one else.

X-Box Games of Tomorrow

The world is a toilet and video games are the blue stuff that makes it stink less. Here's my thoughts and feelings on some upcoming X-Box games. Raw and unfiltered, silly and sarcastic, stupid and strange, aggressively confused and mentally melting, just the way I assume you like it.

I'm an old timer. An original gamer from the Paleozoic era, wizened and advanced beyond the need for "hype" or "opinions". My mind is a vibrant kaleidoscope of emotions and intuitions so true and profound ...

Sinners

Hell yeah. This was the dopest, wokest, freshest fucking joint I ever smoked. Something bold, new and exciting, with great characters, a deeply interesting story, and style out the shitter. Even though it's set in the past it's like a movie from the future, maybe the first Hollywood film of the modern era that truly feels like it.

The plot itself isn't ground breaking on the face of it, it's a ...