Heres What I Dont Get

Tab and Tim vs Pickard - Episode 3

Welcome back Pickard haters to this, the best episode of Pickard yet, which isn't saying much. We're really dreading watching this so there is a lot of tangents and theories up front, and a lot of making fun of this series afterwards. Unfortunately the go pro died while we were goofing around up front and there won't be video on this episode. It will be back for episode 4. Apologies to all.

Here's the numbers for this week's episode.

By the Numbers
Funny Eyes - 2/8 2020-02-13 23:20:34 +0000 UTC View Post

Episode 168 - Directed by Fred Durst

Glamour! Glitz! The taste of Tinseltown is in the air, so roll out the red carpet for this star-studded episode of Here's What I Don't Get! All your favorite celebrities are here: Tab, occasionally Tim, and Not Todd! But now, it's time for the ceremonies. Let's start with the most important award, Best Issue. This week there have been dozens of great issues, but the four best are nominated tonight. Here are the nominees for Best Issue:

* Movie Budget Inflation
* Oscars over Razzies<...

Tab and Tim vs Pickard - Episode 2 (With Video)

Unfortunately we return this week for one of the most nothing episodes of Pickard yet. This was a real snoozer almost nothing happens. It was really the setup for I guess what is going to happen in Episode 3 but holy fuck were we bored to death. The biggest news about this episode, is that IT COMES WITH VIDEO!

Video is back for our Star Trek commentaries, so check it out over on our YouTube page with this link. Only a...

Before & After - Star Trek: Insurrection

The penultimate Star Trek film, Insurrection tells the story of Journey's End except without Wesley. Seriously they even carry over the stopping time bullshit. Tim seemed to enjoy it, but I really don't like this movie. Smooth shaven Riker, weird musical numbers, a village of people who don't have sex, days to get to the edge of the Briar Patch, but minutes to get back, nothing in this film makes sense. Oh well, at least it still has the characters you like, acting the way you remember. Amazi...

Episode 167 - Going Viral

Welcome to another freezing episode of HWIDG. We’re snowed in now, schools are all closed, roads are icy, and noses are rosy. The weatherman said the blizzard dropped 46 inches of snow over our heads, a new record! Wait, what? He said four to six inches? And we didn’t even get that? Great, what am I going to do with all these bread and milk sandwiches, then?! I guess I can scarf them down while listening to a couple of jerks whine about:

* Playing "What's this Commercia...

Before & After - Star Trek: First Contact

In what is widely regarded as the best of the TNG Trek films, Tim sits down to watch a movie so good, he wants to keep watching more. Let's discuss Holographic bullets, Weird time travel problems, new characters, old characters, and whether or not Data Fucked the Borg Queen. We're having a good time, so why stop? Next up, Insurrection! 

Before & After - Star Trek: Generations

What's Wrong with Spaaace crosses over with this movie review format, Before & After, muh like the movie we're discussing today. Star Trek: Generations. The first TNG film and the only TNG film to feature cast from the Original series. You've seen cross over episodes already so this one isn't much different. There is some seriously stupid stuff though. Tim has thoughts, and I have old thoughts I bring back up.

What's Wrong with Spaaace? - Episode 7 Part 2

This is it, the finale of What's Wrong with Spaaace? Will we do another season of Episodes on TNG, TOS, VOY, or ENT? Only time will tell. By the end of this episode, you will be laughing and crying and wanting to go back and watch it all again. Will Tim take a further plunge in the Star Trek fandom? There is only one way to find out, by listening to WHAT'S WRONG WITH SPAAACE!?!?!?

What's Wrong with Spaaace? - Episode 7 Part 1

Welcome back Trek HWIDGets to this penultimate episode of Regular Season Star Trek TNG Recaps. Winding down to the end, we're discussing a lot of great episodes on the eve of watching Star Trek: Picard. Give it a listen and see if you agree on best episodes and worst episodes.

Minisode 25 - Hot Glue Techniques

Thank you patrons for all your support for January, here's you receipt for this month's support. It looks like you spent a lot of money on pornos on paper view, and these titles, oh my god...

- Pet Parents
- The Hassle of Saving a Buck or Two
- Checking Receipts
- Modern Movie Trailers

Tawny Dawsons debut film Pet Parents stars Tawny as Priscilla McGee a woman who gives birth to three dogs and raises them as her own children. Then the third act twist, it turns out she's n...

Tab and Tim vs Gene Luck Pickard - Episode 1 (ft. Dadcucks)

Another day has dawned and another facet of Star Trek has been irreversibly ruined. That's right Star Trek: Picard is here, but since it bears no resemblance to actual Jean-Luc Picard, we're calling him Gene Luck Pickard. A cowardly old man who when pushed decided to quit rather than stand for what he believes in. On this inaugural episode we are joined by my Dad, who introduced me to Star Trek circa The Next Generation to get his impressions on this travesty of a performance. A veritable "Wh...

Episode 166 - Sex Million Pounds of Torque

Hey there, this week HWIDG's coming to you live from our bunker 2 miles under the earth. As soon as the news of the coronavirus hit, we moved to our secret bunker operation, and no there's not room for anyone else, so have fun in Fallout! As your skin sloughs off up there, we're down here feasting on 50 lb. prepper meal buckets. Mmmmmmm, rehydrated Beef Product Enchiladas. Anyways, if your ears haven't filled up with blood and pus yet, stay around and listen to us bicker about:

* Final...

Episode 165 - 99 Trolley Problems

Well, as we wade knee-deep into winter, HWIDG is here to keep you warm. Come in from the cold. Put this blanket around your shoulders and cup this mug of cocoa near the fire. Don’t mind me, a handsome Scottish man that seduced you recently deceased grandmother, and don’t pay attention to the green-lightning storm outside, everything will be fine as long as you’re here with me. Now, let us become one as you let yourself forget about: 

* Updates for Outdated Tech
* Trolley Q...

Bonus Episode 39 - Mail Order Omelet

It's a new year and with that comes new Do Gets and this month we've got some big ones so listen up because we're talking about...

Spider-Man
Big Ass Books
Faux Socializing
The Old School FPS revival

Fox kids Spider-Man in the late 90s was the introduction to Spider-Man for many people Tim and I's age. Plus it was excellent, this is the Antithesis to my "It's for children" argument, because this was made for kids, but it's pretty well written. It's not amazing cinema, but...

Episode 164 - Progressive Hot-Dog Water feat. Isaac Jackson

Just another day, another podcast. Except this time we're in the MILE HIGH PODCAST CLUB. That's right, we're coming to you live from a plane just out of LAX, and we've got full access to the cockpit! We could do a barrel roll! Amazing! We could do a loop-de-loop! We could even dump some fuel! DUMP IT, TODD! We should do this more often, there's absolutely no way this could go wrong, so buckle up, put your tray table up, and listen to these issues:

* Big UI
* Race Relations
* It's ...

Episode 163 - Never Going There Again

Well, we've started the year off with a bang, quite literally. Good thing we've got the newly minted Space Force to get a leg up on those dirty [insert brown people here]. So grab your anti-grav suit, smart pistol, and A.I. helmet and GET OUT THERE MAGGOTS WHILE YOU LISTEN TO TAB AND TIM BICKER ABOUT:

* Caring About the Middle East
* Handling it with Memes
* "It's For the Kids"
* One Bad Experience

America loves cops. Absolutely adores them. In fact America loves cops so ...

Episode 162 - New Year, Same 'Cast

They say hindsight is always 20/20, but you know what's not always 20/20? The year! That's right! It's finally 2020, which means it's officialy THE FUTURE™! And what, pray tell, is HWIDG going to be like in The Future™? Pretty much the same! So head to the gym for your first and last time this year and while you're pumping iron, listen to us bitch about:

* Pull-Out Sofa Beds
* Non-Stock Android
* Getting Back to It
* Future Half-steps

Pull-out beds represent everythin...

Minisode 24 - Regift Carding

Well this has been 2019 for you, generally just a big piece of shit of a year with nothing productive happening. There's only a few more hours left, but we've got just enough time to squeeze in another few micro issues.

Tiny Screws
Migrating Sheets
Ugly Christmas Sweaters
Claymation Christmas Films

Why does everything need to be smaller? We keep making things smaller and smaller to the point of uselessness? And what do we get with smaller things? Smaller fasteners to make...

Before and After - The Rise of Skywalker

Here is is the Before and After you've always wanted, hopefully the last stand in JJ Abrams attempt to strip mine your favorite franchises for notoriety and truckloads of money. This $175.5 opening weekend disappointment will be despised for the next 20 years, just like the prequels.

Recommendation:

Tim - No
Tab - No

Episode 161 - You Won't Believe What Happens Next!

Happy Festivus, I'VE GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE, AND NOW, YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT,

- People That Think Everything is for Them
- Blaming the Fans
- Clickbait
- Participation Awards

Sometimes you see a news story, or a facebook post, and you think, "Who could be so stupid as to need this." The answer is not you, yet for some reason there is a whole subspecies of humans that are compelled to report to the world, that they already know that thing. I imagine that...

Before and After - Hobbs and Shaw

Fast and Furious has become such a huge franchise it's now spinning off characters into their own franchises. Introducing Hobbs and Shaw, to antagonists turned part of the team, now turned Protagonists in their own film. Join The Rock, and Jason Statham as they recreate the plot to Mission Impossible 2, but with fewer doves, and one Black Superman. Crazy cameos, and unbelievable car chases abound in this action thriller.

Recommendation: 

Tim - Not really, Completely Missable<...

Episode 160 - The Final Countdown

Welcome back to HWIDG! Around here, we're in the ol' Christmas mood, meaning Tab's drinking his "special" hot chocolate sponsored by Jameson, Tim's making wreaths out of his handle collection, and Todd's vaping a nice gingerbread-venison blend. So Happy Holidays from our weird podcast family, and don't forget the true meaning of Christmas: feeling upset at your gift haul despite buying everyone you know their dream car. Also, issues:

* Christmas
* End of the Decade Lists
* Goverme...

Bonus Episode 38 - Heaven is for Real

Welcome back HWIDG-ets to December's completely non-holiday themed bonus episode. We're sitting with the A/C cranked and listening to Jimmy Buffet while talking about,

Shopping
Youtube Tutorials
Taskmaster
Cameras

Shopping it's not just for girls anymore. Also you can do it from your own home. What's that old axiom, it's better to want and not have or something like that? I remember that well because there was this awesome Mr. Freeze action figure when I was a kid that I ...

Episode 159 - Tri-Cotton Blends

This week we've lost a lot of people that meant a lot to us: René Auberjonois, Carroll Spinney, and Ron Liebman. From Star Trek, to Sesame Street, to Rhinestone, let us remember these fine actors in the way that only HWIDG can. So, get mad. Get furious, my friends that the universe has taken three more powerful souls to fill it's engines. But while you do, remember that there are plenty of things still here that you can get mad at, like:

* Clothes Material Importance
* ...

EPISODE 158 - DEATH TO JOHN MELLENCAMP

It's leftovers week! Finish up all that Thanksgiving food while shopping for all the stock the stores couldn't get rid of this year! Half off Xboxes?! You better beat that old lady with her own cane to get the last one, you'll NEVER see a deal like that again. OH! But here comes that green bean casserole you ate way too much of. Hold on! Hold on! Oh great, you just spewed all over the ugly christmas sweater rack. You better hide your face in case anyone's recording this, lest you...

Before & After - Rhinestone

This time we're watching the 1984 box office bomb Rhinestone. This movie pairs Dolly Parton, and Sylvester Stallone in a Country Music retelling of Pygmalion. Tim and I know exactly nothing about this movie, but get ready for it because it is a weird weird movie. We're both giving this movie a 40DD/10.

Rating:
Tim - Recommend
Tab - Recommend

Minisode 23 - Thanks to My PP Everyday

The leftovers are still there in the kitchen, it's time to make yourself a big turkey sandwich wrap yourself up in a comfy bathrobe and listen to us discuss these microscopic issues.

Tesla Truck Haters
Loitering Groups
Reminding People About Your Embarrassing Stories
Thin Dip

Tesla has a new truck, and apparently it's not a truck because even though it's got a bed, big tires, and will be bought by suburban dads who play carpenter on the weekends, it's not a r...

What's Wrong with Spaaace? - Episode 6 Part 2

He's got space aids Jim. That's right our fearless captain got the romulan space aids. There's only one treatment known, and we're racing across the galaxy to get it. On the way though we've gotta discuss these season six episodes of TNG.

This second part of the season has some consistently really really good episodes. Frame of Mind, The Chase, Tapestry, Birthright, and the big season finale stinger. TNG vs Mighty Morphin Power Rangers!

Episode 157 - Dressed & Stuffed

We here at HWIDG are thankful for the following: America, cool hats, tigers, Italian fathers, armor-piercing rounds, Destiny, helicopters, Lebanese diplomat Abieg Tihdi, polka music, Arby's Beef 'n Cheddar Sandwiches™, and of course, the cinematic classic Wild Wild West. Let us know what you're thankful for this year as we tell you about:

* Tech Support
* The Scam of Religion
* Picking Fights with Family
* Stingy Restaurants

Tech Support for the general masses is a scam...

What's Wrong with Spaaace? - Episode 6 Part 1

Welcome back Trek fans to Season Six of Star Trek The Next Generation.

This half season we bring back Scotty, non-annoying children, holographic heists, thing monsters, and FOUR LIGHTS!!

What does Tim think of Mark Twain? What are his favorite episodes? How many episodes are "Best Episode of this season" according to Tab? Find out this time What's Wrong with Spaaace?

And don't forget to VOTE FOR THIS MON...