Heres What I Dont Get

Episode 100 - Syndication!

Coming this fall to FOX, it's Here's What I Don't Get, the sitcom! Tim and Tab are two regular guys, but when their podcast hits the big-time, wacky hijinks are bound to happen! Complete with unnecessary fake studio audience, wacky neighbors, and cameo guest spots from other sitcoms! And best of all, because it's FOX, it's guaranteed to be an internet darling but not get many views because the premise is interesting, but not that interesting to the mass public, so we guarantee only one season! W...

Episode 99 - Not Canon

The multiverse. Universes layered on top of each other, singing in different frequencies, never coming in contact. The hero of Earth Prime, The Rage Machine, protects his section of his universe, unaware of the vast tapestry of worlds that lies around him. But one day, a rift in space opens above his hometown. Out comes The Handlebreaker. A villainous destroyer of Earths throughout the multiverse. When The Rage Machine arrives to investigate, he learns of the diabolical plans, the concept of par...

Bonus Episode 24 - Apparently!

 It's time to get spooky with this month's bonus episode filled with do gets! This month we talk about what is/isn't a soup, our experiences with haunted houses, weird comic book multiverses, and shorthand communication. As always, thanks to YOU our lovely patrons for supporting the show, and we'll see you next month for another round of do gets.  
* Soup
* Haunted Houses
* Comic Book Alternate Universes
* Shorthand 

Ask Uncle Buck Ep 6 (ft. Joel Chaco)

Joel Chaco returns from the Great White North to ask your burning questions!

Want to get your questions answered?  Join the HWIDG discord and drop them in the Ask Uncle Buck chat!

Episode 98 - 4K 360 3D Jellyfish

Here we see the podcast known as Hereswhatidontgetasaurus. It walked the Earth around 40 million years ago and was the apex predator of its time. The horns on its head were used to spear prey that walked too slow in front of it. Unfortunately, the Hereswhatidontgetasaurus was driven into extinction by it's own self. They were prone to fits of rage that frequently ended with it charging off of cliffs or into bodies of water. Some of it's common prey included:

Break Ups
Phone VR
The E...

Episode 97 - The Oil Man (feat. Allan from Not For Human Consumption)

1458 A.D. China. The warlords of Peking are locked in battle as they have been for the last three years. The spoils being fought for? A book. A tome containing the secrets of the legendary fighting style known as Here’s What I Don’t Get. To the North, the Empire of Tab and its ferocious warriors with their ‘rage’ style. To the South, General Tim and his crew of soldiers that he purposefully starves until they reach their breaking point, to harness the ‘Handlebreaker’ energy. For the ...

Tab and Tim Watch #10 - The Thing (Feat. Todd Seidel)

FINALLY! It’s that time of year again folks! Toss that beach chair and suntan lotion into a dumpster and set it on fire, because not only is it time for Halloween, it’s probably also a Thing monster! That’s right, this month we’re watching The Thing! Get your bourbon, your parkas, your roller skates, and your teeth fillings ready, because someone is secretly a hideous practical effect monster and the only way they can die is a flamethrower to the face.

And if that doesn’t sound excit...

Minisode 11 - Hammer Squirt

On this month’s minisode, we get into crusty condiments, spraying your legs with Raid, a lack of editing, and Lego Racers. Thanks to all our Patrons for your continued support, and we’ll see you next week with more mini-issues!

* Bottle Gunk
* That Buggy Feeling
* Fake Shows
* Mario 

Episode 96 - Mail Order Brides

WOOF WOOF! That's right it's the HWIDG Party Bus here to take you downtown, uptown, and all around, and that's before we start driving heyo! Ground rules, folks, number one: no kegstands. That's a legal thing, too many concussions. Number two: if you brought some "shnacks" you gotta share. Otherwise, big man Tito in back is your hookup. Number three: no, the bus driver is not a party poopers for not doing shots. Think, people. Numbers four through seven, don't do any of these:

* Taking Yo...

Episode 95- The Shane Black Awards

One elite squad of soldiers. One deadly jungle. One suicide mission. One alien stalker. This fall be the first to see Hereswhatidontgetator. Action. Drama. Comedy. No kids. This movie has it all! Join legendary action hero Harold Schwartzenheimer as Tab "Butch" Birt sent with his squad on the mission of a lifetime. But his shady CIA buddy Handlebreaker comes along and has other plans for Butch and his crew. Then it all goes to hell as a bright red lobster alien starts picking them off one by one...

Bonus Episode 23 - Haunted Telephone

Hey there, folks! For your monthly bonus episode we talk about things we remember! Like, the month of September. Despite what Earth Wind & Fire told you, it’s been very cloudy here. Join us as we get into why we love:  

* Cars (aka Owen Wilson’s drug money)
* Urban Exploring (aka breaking and entering)
* Flashlights (aka Torches, for you wierdos)
* Good Packaging (Big, toight packages)

Catch us next month for another round of Do Gets, and as always thank you for you...

Episode 94 - Steak Lies

Welcome grasshoppers, to Sensei Hereswhatidontget's Rage Dojo. Here you will learn channel your inner anger and fears into weapons. Weapons with which you will attack and take down that which stands in your way! For your first lesson, you will learn and begin to master the first four forms:

* Terrestrial Radio
* Choice Paralysis
* Ceremonies
* Daytime TV

Lesson one: radio. Your mind and body must be like the radio. Your body will get stronger, but only by repetition, pract...

We Left The Mics On - Justice League

         Well, this is embarrassing. It looks like we left the mics on after one of our episodes. Well, it’s content I guess. Maybe you’ll enjoy us yelling at Superman’s face for two hours.

Sippin' And Savorin' - Crown Royal Black

 Uncle Buck reviews Crown Royal Black Special Thanks to Charles, who made the ultimate sacrifice to give me this whiskey - he didn't drink it all himself! 

Episode 93 - Jacked Sam Neil

Hey-a! Welcome to Authentic San Hereswhatidontgets! De only place in town to get an authentic New York slice! The crust? Burnt. The sauce? Canned. The Cheese? Fuggedaboutit! It's only made from the freshest curd of the most freshest milk we could find. Your mother's! You get two choices. A plain pie. Or pepperoni. And we make that in-house! Dey call dat artisinal! Ain't no pork or beef in it. No, we use what the city gives us. That's right we use the most plentiful meat around. Good 'ol New York...

Tab and Tim Watch #9 - Hot Fuzz

Oi mate, welcome to dis monf’s movie commentry. It’s ‘ot Fuzz, wanker. We get all British, ‘ead down to the pub, and ‘ave a pint or two. One of ‘ates it like it’s marmite or somefink. The other likes it enough, like bangers and mash. Find out who it is when ye sit down wit some fish n chips, or maybe a a kebab, and watch the movie wit us. Don’t forget to vote for nex monf’s bloody movie too! 

Here's What I Still Don't Get #1 - Scams

        We don’t know about you all, but it takes a long time for some rage to die down. Sometimes it’s a lasting impact, other times it gets brought up again like some twisted form of PTSD. So, we sat down for a bit and talked about those things that still have us angry and confused, Here’s What We Still Don’t Get.

• Vertical Filming
• Tiny Houses
• Follow-up Doctor’s Visits
• The Oscars 

Minisode 10 - I'm A Pizza Scientist

         Like a fly you can’t get rid of, here’s another installment of those little irksome things that poke at the back of your mind.

• Too Much Sauce
• Unclear Communication
• Summer Rain
• Movie Tickets

A good sauce to thing-being-sauced ratios is KEY to a good meal. Too little leaves you wanting more, but too much? That can ruin a dish, no matter how good that sauce is. Too much, and you make a mess, lea...

Episode 92 - BOOMSHAKALAKA

Howdy folks and welcome to the 26th Annual HWIDG High School Talent Show Extravaganza! First, a few announcements. Whoever drives a white Subaru, you left you lights on, don’t get up though, I went ahead and smashed them with a baseball bat for you, okay? Next, is there a Leslie Johnson in the house? Okay. Ms. Johnson, Logan would like to let you know he’s backstage and he made an accident. That’s Logan Johnson. Backstage. Poop in the pants. Okay, lastly, I’d like to say screw all of you...

Episode 91 - Three Card Monte

Welcome to HWIDGBurger, home of the Rage Burger, can I take your order? No, we don't have gluten free soda, sir. No, we don't have dairy-free beef either. Our fries are frozen, yes, if you want them fresh here's a potato and a knife. Sir, if you're upset, go to hell please. Otherwise, get out of line, people are waiting to order some delicious:

-Upgrade Downgrades
-Not Taking Care of Your Guys
-Predictive Text
-Hollywood Accounting

New look, same great taste. The lie of the...

Episode 90 - Sausage and Chocolate

Hi, there! Today I’m gonna teach you how to make a lovely dish known as HWIDG. It’s from Northern Italy, and when prepared right, it’ll knock your socks off. But first, here’s a five page essay on my life that you’ll have to scroll through to get to the recipe. I’m VERY interesting so I know you’ll want to read it-wait what’s that? You don’t? I’m not interesting and that’s why I run a vegan mommy blog? Well, fine, here’s your dumb recipe:

* Shrinking Men's Sections...

Bonus Episode 22 - Rock N' Roll D.I.Y.

It’s that time of year again. Back to school! As you either whisk your little ones away or move your stuff into your dorm, remember to take some time for the things you love! Don’t worry, that essay can write itself the night before it’s due. How about you listen to this month’s Bonus Episode instead and get some ideas on how to wind down after a cram session. This month’s do-gets include:

- Cold Drink on a Hot Day
- Fixing it Yourself
- Rock Band
- Bitching 2018-08-15 03:49:41 +0000 UTC View Post

Episode 89 - Crayola Hotline

Welcome back, you're listening to K96.9 and your Here's What I Don't Get Morning Power Hour, brought to you by Anderson Handle Repair. It's hot, hot, hot out there folks, so stay cool any way you can. You know who was always cool? Robert Stack. And he's coming up in the next hour along with:

- Crowd Screamers
- Unsolved Mysteries
- Battery Lies
- Conspiracy Theories

But first, let's hear from Greg live outside the Rold Gold Event Center. Hi Jim, That's right, I'm reporting live...

Ask Uncle Buck ep5 (ft Nick Rekieta) LIVE

Recorded before a live studio audience, Buck and his lawyer take on a room full of rowdy questioners!

Episode 88 - Bigfoot Erotica

Hello. Please, calm down. Do not be afraid. I am your Doctor, Dr. Hereswhatidontget. You’ve been in a terrible accident. We had to place you into a comatose state for your body to heal itself. I’m afraid it’s been seven years since then. A lot has changed in the world as you once knew it. Due to rapid advances in medical science we were able to construct you a new body. It should feel just like your old one, but it will take some time to adjust. While you rest, we’ve gathered some books ...

Tab and Tim Watch #8 - Demolition Man

It’s movie time! Join us as we look to the not-so-distant future for a glimpse of society as it is destined to be! The Taco Bell Megacorp runs rampant, people are publicly shamed and punished for harsh words, cars can self-navigate, the government continually outlaws tasty foods, VR sex is the new norm, and worst of all, the entertainment and culture of Japan has infiltrated and consumed the lives of those too weak-hearted to resist it. This movie has it all! Watch as we witness the battles of...

Minisode 9 - Ketchup Grand Prix

Welcome folks! On this sunny July day, we’re glad to have you join us for the ONE, the ONLY: KETCHUP GPX!!! Seven bottles enter, but only one will come out on top. A battle of the highest importance, judged by the most cutting edge scientists the world has to offer. Folks, we’ve got underdogs, we’ve got returning champions, but most of all…we’ve got no clue how it’s gonna go! It’s anyone’s game! But first we’d like to tell you a little about who makes this all possible. This on...

Episode 87 - Dinged Cars

And over here we have our new HWIDG model for 2018. It comes with a turbo boost for extended rage sessions, very nice to have. It seats two comfortably, but you can squeeze a third person on it, go ahead and hop on, try it out. You feel that? Those are heated seats. Now that’s an optional feature, it’ll run you about $500 extra, but I can get it for you for about $475, what a deal! Now, minisodes and do-gets are extra and those go up depending on what you want. Wait! Come back! I didn’t te...

Bonus Commentary - Ready Player One

Tab and Tim sit down for a grueling day in the reference mines to dig up some old gems of pop culture lost to the ages. This commentary has more pet rocks and gundams than you can shake a stick at. Get your counters ready because we're tallying the fuck out of this movie to determine scientifically if it is terrible or not, (Spoilers) it is.

So grab you favorite amazon prime, or torrent site and get to watching what will go down as Steven Spielberg's easiest paycheck. Ready Player One.

Fuck You Neil Breene

Neil still owes us $5 for the movie rental on this piece of shit. Don't watch this movie.