Heres What I Dont Get

Episode 216 - Secretly Gay for Kevin Costner

ATTENTION ALL RED-BLOODED AMERICANS: BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR RESISTANCE LEADER CODENAME: UNCLE BUCK. HE IS ARMED AND DANGEROUS AND DRIVES A FORKLIFT OUTFITTED WITH FULLY AUTOMATIC .50 CALIBER MACHINE GUNS. HE IS WANTED FOR CRIMES COMITTED ON JANUARY 6TH INCLUDING: ASSAULT, BATTERY, 2ND DEGREE MURDER, PUBLIC NUDITY, ILLEGAL WHALING, AND FORCIBLE SODOMY WITH A LIVE PYTHON. IF YOU SEE THIS HEINOUS CRIMINAL IMMEDIATELY CONTACT YOUR LOCAL AUTHORITIES AND DO NOT LOOK HIM IN THE FACE.

- Hiking 5...

Bonus Episode 50 - Disaster

This bonus episode is very late, and normally that wouldn't make any sense, but with the total loss of video and half the audio from this episode. This became a nightmare to piece back together. You can't make a fucking bing when the hard drive is full you fucking worthless mac? You can't over write the shit in the recycle bin? I deleted it. It's trash. Fucking delete it in favor of new stuff. But we have to protect retards that use macs from themselves.

So here it is, all of the cardin...

Episode 215 - New Beanginnings

Good morning HWIDG-ers! It's a new year, a new day, and a new country apparently!  Welcome to Neo-USA! They've really shaken things up with this time, so let's go down a list of some of the changes you can expect. North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, and Idaho are now one big state called Farmville. Kansas has been renamed North Oklahoma, Texas has been renamed South Oklahoma, and Arkansas has been converted into an Arkansas shaped pit of spikes where we throw dissidents. Califo...

Episode 214 - Four Batmens

This is it, the last HWIDG episode from 2020. Surely from now on we wont have anything to be angry about, right? Our arbitrary calendar system definitely puts a hard stop on the government screwing you over, companies being greedy, and people generally being stupid. So throw away those riot shields that have 2021 stamped on them, because nothing bad could happen once the frigid cold of January rolls around and 8 million people have lost their homes-oh. Uh, well... look forward to the actual H...

Episode 213 - Sticky Peppermint Pocket

Ho ho ho. It’s Christmas and Santa has been busy this year. Spreading a non-deadly virus across the planet. Creating a new army of Karens to steal the freedoms from actual human beings. Dropping off new Galaxy S500s to all the “Frontline” nurses to create Tik-Tok dance routines in stunning 4K! Over dosing criminals, and free for all riots across the world. Stealing presidential elections. Through it all though he couldn’t give you $1 to make your life better, but I can hear him on the...

Episode 212 - Up in the Air

Heads up, this is not a regular episode of HWIDG. As always we appreciate our listeners and fans and you can join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT.

Episode 211 - Garbage

In order to combat the worldwide C-Virus that was unleashed upon the world in 2020, there was only one thing we could do: fight virus with virus. Research started by HWIDG Corp indicated that only a mutated strain of the C-Virus had a chance at defeating the original strain. After a series of breakthrough animal tests by Dr. Tab Birt, human trials began, but something went wrong. The mutated strain reacted quite negatively to the human neural system and the test subjects were turned into slow...

Episode 210 - Conquered (ft. Uncle Buck)

Welcome back fans to another Uncle Buck episode of HWIDG. Tim is Dead, long live the Buck! This week we're a little less fired up and talking about these issues.

* Sh!tty Tools
* Indigenous People's
* What do you want for Christmas
* The Expendable Franchise

Buy a tool, buy it once, that's the way I live. Every now and again though you buy some piece of crap tool that you just sort of make do with until it breaks, and then you're just stuck either waiting for a replacemen...

Minisode 35 - Into the Ether

Welcome to this unusual Minisode for November, I'm all by myself so I'm giving monologies about,

People who don't take tending the fire seriously
Disturbing Acoustic
Had Enough Franchises
Cheap Band-Aids

Thanks for supporting the show, please leave a comment and let me know what you think of this solo episode, if you love it or hate it.

Also be sure to vote for December's Movie Commentary! 2020-11-30 00:19:28 +0000 UTC View Post

Bonus Episode 49 - Smell of Solder ft. Uncle Buck

Welcome back fans to this retro bonus episode with Uncle Buck filling in for Tim again. We're a slight bit more calm today and talking about these do gets.

Reading
Hobby Skills
Some Goddamn Peace and Quiet
New Mattress

What are you doing now? That's right reading, I wish we all did just a little more reading and just a little less watching top ten youtube videos. Maybe we could make comparisons to things other than Harry Potter with more readers.

Everyone needs a pa...

Episode 209 - Big Finish? ft. Uncle Buck

All Points Bulletin: Wanted, one Peruvian Podcast host last seen in year 4 of HWIDG. He is known to like Anime, Fighting Games, Breaking Handles, and frequently trying to barter for goods and services with VHS copies of Rhinestone. He should be considered armed and extremely dangerous, and will likely be babbling about.

The Pity Card
Playdates
All the Evil stuff Trump has done
Mandatory Political Symbols

Anytime you get into a discussion if a person doesn't have the qual...

Episode 208 - Four More Years

Thank you for coming to your podcast's assessment meeting today. So, Here's What I Don't Get is doing pretty well all things considered. He turns in his episodes on time just about every week. He's raging at an above average level compared to his peers, which is really nice. He's doing really well in geography, really diversifying his news stories, it's great to see. And his voicemails have gotten much better since he started the SPITE program. So, really everything is looking great and he lo...

Episode 207 - Time-Traveling Hitler

Watch the Video Episode! 

Ever had back pain? It's real dumb. Why human have soft outside but hard inside? Isn't that backwards? Why God? Why soft, easy-to-hurt jelly protects hard, strong bone? I want an exoskeleton please. I think at some point we evolved with bone to protect our squishy brains AND THEN WE WENT EVEN FURTHER. WHY? Another layer of squishy organs to protect? How about we protect it with more squis...

Episode 206 - Russian Jimmy Dean

Full Video Episode! 

Or if you prefer just this Final Episode of Lower Decks-pectations!

Welcome citizens of the former United States of America. Now that your 2020 election has come to an end, I am proud to have been elected to the throne of Supreme Overlord. There will be no further elections, as I will make all decisions for this cou...

Minisode 34 - Silver Shamrock

Put your hands together for this month's mini issues

All These Cyberpunk Delays
Halloween Music
Food Coloring
Cheering for Nothing

Thanks for supporting the show!

Episode 205 - Castration Cannibals

Watch the Video

This is it folks! It's finally come time for Halloween night, and we here at HWIDG would like to wish everyone a very Happy Halloween. Whether you're going out door to door, handing out candy at your house, going to a party, sitting at home watching horror movies, or nothing at all, we hope Samhain treats you well. Just watch out for razorblades in your candy, D-tier candy, and that sexy "catgirl". All...

Hack of the Living Dead - Tonight 8pm Eastern!

Join us for Hack of the Living Dead Tonight at 8pm eastern.

Bonus Episode 48 - Gacy's Halloween

October is almost over and with it ends the Halloween Season and begins the worst season of the year, pretending to love jesus season. But while the unseasonably warm weather sticks around, take your tarp off and listen while we talk about these great pleasures.

Mash Ups
Bridges
Dogpiling
Going Topless

A good mash up is hard to find, a good mash up takes the greatness of two things and puts it together into something greater than the two originals while still keeping the ...

Episode 204 - BBC Love

Episode 204 Video

Check out Hack of the Living Dead Premiers Monday October 26th @ 8pm eastern

A dark and stormy night. Lightning crashes in the distance. On the highest hill in the lands just outside a village in central Germany there is a man in a castle. In that castle there is a laboratory. Harnessing the power of the storm, ...

Before & After - Saw 3

Here it is the straw that broke the camels back. Fuck this movie, fuck everyone in this movie, fuck everyone who worked on this movie, and fuck Tim for making me watch this movie.

Before & After - Saw 2

Yes I am just mass uploading these, I do not give a single fuck. You want to play a game, go buy monopoly you old fuck.

Before & After - Saw

Why does the thumbnail say "Tab and Tim Watch" and not "Before & After" because fuck you that's why. These movies suck and I hate them.

Episode 203 - Turnaders

Check out the video version of the episode! 

It's a chilly, foggy night. You find yourself walking the streets of your hometown once again. You recall the days of yore, running from house to house on Halloween night, holding out a pillowcase and getting it filled with literal pounds of sugar. Eerie vibes came from Mr. Jenkins' place, but if you were brave enough to get past the dead bodies and shrieking lady on th...

Tab and Tim Watch - Twister

This is a movie that we had to watch in school. IN SCHOOL! This is a piece of crap. It's all spectacle and some how it is incredibly boring, you know who's fault it is? That's right Kathleen Kennedy.

Everyone give Matt from Minnesota a big thank you for sponsoring this movie commentary, we literally wouldn't have done it without him.

Play Time
0:00 – 3:14
WB Logo – 3:28

Episode 202 - 250K Dongs In My Pocket

With the official start of the spooky season, HWIDG is proud to bring to you life's scariest costumes! No vampires or ghouls here, though. No, we've got a line of the highest quality, low-quality costumes of life's actual monsters. Like: taxes! BOO! Okay hotshot, not scared yet? How about a broken condom! Get ready for those child-support payments bud! Or what about this: a kidney stone! You've never wished for the sweet relief of Lady Death faster than when one of these is stuck sideways in ...

Episode 201 - A Nice Pesto Aioli

Debates, debates, debates. Dat's all I hears about dis week. Debates this, de bates that. I don't even know who da Bates are? Norman Bates? Like from da Psycho movies? Why is he runnin' for President? You gonna vote for a psycho? Really? Don't he dress up like his mother or whatnot? You really want one o' dose homeopaths in da White House? Whateva happened to decent honest Italian-Americans runnin da joint. Like Bobby DeNiro. He was king a da place back in da seventies! Hell, even an Irish fe...

Minisode 33 – Van by the River

Dating Sites
A Balanced Breakfast
Still having SD
Guys who speed up when you pass

Bonus Episode 47 - Jass Festival

Jazz
Gudnuf
Persona
Getting back in your own car

Episode 200 - Bicentennial

Like all great things, HWIDG has reached its 200th anniversary. That's right we've been bringing you life's toughest issues for two hundred years now. Hard to imagine that this all started with two guys writing into their local newspaper about the death of Daniel Boone and how he was "an overrated hack". Their newfound brotherhood in all the things in life that bugged them created what will become today's media empire. Here's to two hundred more:

* No Source
* Collectible Coins
*...

Batman Begins Decoded

A film theory so stupid only a Madcuck could share it with you. Check this out before it premieres on Episode 225 of The Dick Show.

https://youtu.be/ddaWIYfB6pc