Greetings Janklords,
Coming at you this Saturday with 3 joyous announcements.
- EPISODE 9 IS CLOSE. Nefariously close. HOWEVER (we know, howevers suck), we’re releasing it in tandem with something else that is very exciting. And that something is a first for us. You can expect this very exciting thing, and a brand new episode, the week of September 7th. What could it be? Any guesses?
- It’s time for another JANK BR...
2020-08-29 22:00:04 +0000 UTC
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JANKLORDS,
Hi. How are you?
Have you ever played a 5+ hour game of EDH? We just did. And you'll get to see it soon (we promise it won't take that long to watch).
This month we'll be releasing our first COVID-era remote gameplay video. We didn't think we could add any more meaning to the word "jank", but the Demon surprises us again and again. And we think you'll like it :)
This will be the very first video that's being edited o...
2020-08-05 19:49:26 +0000 UTC
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Hey babes,
To all our friends at the $10 level and up: The Wheelmaster finally got caught up in his proxy creation! The final batch will go out tomorrow morning. So if you don't receive your custom Wheelmaster proxy in the next week or so please send us a message so we can get that taken care of! All love, no hate, stay janky!
2020-07-20 05:10:02 +0000 UTC
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xoxo
2020-07-19 02:52:55 +0000 UTC
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Sweetest Janklords,
We wanted to give you an idea of what we're up to in these dark times.
1. NEXT WEEK we'll be slamming down a sick new interlude video. Start readying your bodies now.
2. IN THE MONTH OF JULY (barring technical malfeasance) we're putting out a remote gameplay video. We haven't been able to get the whole gang together in person for some time...but the Demon has its ways.
3. ARE...
2020-07-08 22:57:33 +0000 UTC
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Janklords!
We miss you.
Joe was summoned to the Isolation Zone last week to jank some M21 Draft for the demon. What befell is recorded here.
With the world in the state that it is, things have been admittedly slow around here, but we press on.
WHAT TO EXPECT THIS WEEK:
-Monthly Deck/Booster Gifts.
-The Great Unbanning Outtakes (for Indulgent Janksters & Up).
-A vague and mysterious content roadmap for the month of July.
2020-07-06 13:42:55 +0000 UTC
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(Posting here in case anyone isn’t on Discord)
We’re playing some Historic Jank Brawl on Arena tomorrow—Monday 6/22 @ 7pm CST and you’re invited!
Here be the rules:
-Rare and Uncommon Commanders only (we can give you a random one if you’d like, that’s what we’re doing).
-Decks can only have commons and uncommons.
This’ll be a casual HISTORIC brawl fest and we’d love to have you! Let us know in the Phyrexian Arena channel on Discord if you want ...
2020-06-22 03:00:46 +0000 UTC
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Though the hour be late, the promise is true...and your patience hath been rewarded.
Enjoy, you glorious humans.
xoxo
2020-05-28 02:27:07 +0000 UTC
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5/27 for you fine people. You’re wonderful.
That’s it. That’s the post.
2020-05-22 19:43:29 +0000 UTC
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Your early edition!
The demon forces more Jank Draft on Daniel. Can he top his last record? What evil modifiers await?
It's a wild one.
xoxo
2020-05-06 19:00:40 +0000 UTC
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We’re playing some Historic Jank Brawl on Arena this coming Monday and you’re invited!
Here be the rules:
-Rare and Uncommon Commanders only (we can give you a random one if you’d like, that’s what we’re doing).
-Decks can only have commons and uncommons.
This’ll be a casual HISTORIC brawl fest and we’d love to have you! Let us know in the #phyrexian-arena on our Discord channel if you want to join and/or need a random commander!
xoxo
2020-05-06 12:38:50 +0000 UTC
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Greetings, Patrons!
We are simply blown away by the support of so many new faces, and the continued support of those who've been around for a while. You inspire us daily.
The future is bright, and as we grow we'll be able to put out more stuff to make your days just a little bit brighter and a whole lot jankier.
On the doorstep of May, we wanted to say THANK YOU and give you an idea of what's ahead in the next month:
1. A new episode. Yes, that's corr...
2020-04-30 19:28:39 +0000 UTC
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Patron Saints,
We're unleashing a new video-type tomorrow afternoon...doing some transgressing into other formats. Here's your early access.
Don't worry, more EDH is on the way too.
Let us know what you think of this in the meantime!
2020-04-21 03:37:19 +0000 UTC
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JANKLORDS!
It's time to announce some giveaways...
THE STANDARD BOOSTERS GO TO...
- Simon Westkott
-Timothy Johnson
There's nothing standard about the two of you. Much love.
THE FALLEN EMPIRES BOOSTERS ARE BEQUEATHED TO...
-Aaron H.
-Ryan Benso...
2020-04-13 14:00:42 +0000 UTC
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Noble janklords,
We just dropped the outtake video from Episode 8 for Indulgent Janksters and up. We hope you enjoy.
On Monday we'll be announcing winners for monthly giveaways! So stay tuned...
We hope you're staying safe in these dark times. We wish you good cheer and glorious jank wherever you find yourselves. You mean the netherrealm to us.
Have a splendid weekend,
4 dudes, the Wheelmaster, and a Demon
2020-04-10 19:07:45 +0000 UTC
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Hey all you lovely patrons!
We are cooking up some new ideas and would love your input. Joe and John recorded a podcast episode for patrons only! It is our initial test episode and future episodes will be made public, but this one is just for you guys! It's a little rough. It's our first go at things. But its something that we would love to continue doing and get better at! We would love to know what you would like us to talk about in future episodes, and if you have any technical...
2020-04-06 21:44:24 +0000 UTC
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Glorious Patrons. The hour has arrived. The punishment, due.
Talk to you very soon. Enjoy, friends.
xoxo
2020-03-31 23:56:42 +0000 UTC
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Minnesota people!
Join us and Syr Proxy at The Source on Friday 2/21 for the inaugural JANKFEST: a FREE evening of casual EDH, giveaways, and fine company.
Want a random commander to build from using the demon’s .79c or less restriction? Doing so will grant you an extra prize! Hit us up and we’ll pull from the hat for you 😈
RSVP here: https://app.getoccasion.com/xp/2LJT4KPr
We’d lo...
2020-02-12 17:23:19 +0000 UTC
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Hey everyone, this is a big catch-up post for monthly winners!
Sorry about falling behind! These will be sent out tomorrow morning so keep an eye out over the next week and let us know what janky treasures you find!
October Standard Booster: Nicolas Rhoades
October Fallen Empires Booster: Alex Richman
November Standard Booster: Dean Thurston
November Fallen Empires Booster: John Riccard...
2020-02-06 04:25:17 +0000 UTC
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Hi all,
We’ve got a new video for you! This is your early access link. We hope you like it. We most certainly had fun making it.
We’re already knee deep in our next full episode, and we can tell you...it’s going to be very naughty.
We’re also planning something fun for MN folks that we’ll be announcing soon. Non-MN folks, we still love you just as much.
Are there other how-to’s or side videos you’d like to see us do? Let us know in the comments! The dem...
2020-02-04 18:35:12 +0000 UTC
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Hello lovelies,
We have more videos for you on the horizon! Expect an Interlude next week, along with some tasty extras for Indulgent Janksters and up shortly thereafter.
In the meantime, curious minds want to know:
WHAT ARE YOUR FEELINGS ON WATCHING 1v1 EDH?
The demon mostly does what it wants, but feel free to express your thoughts in the poll below.
2020-01-23 16:35:04 +0000 UTC
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GLORIOUS PATRONS,
Daniel here. I was updating the credits for this episode, with all of your names, and was really humbled and incredibly inspired by all the people who find joy in this. Thank you. We truly appreciate each and every one of you. Your support warms my heart on this New Year’s Eve.
BUT ENOUGH WITH THE SENTIMENT. Enjoy, friends. And Happy New Year!
2020-01-01 04:31:40 +0000 UTC
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Greetings, Janklords.
Normally we save episode outtakes for Indulgent Janksters and up, but the demon is feeling generous today. Also, we’re down a video from last month, so we’d like to offer all of our fine supporters something to watch before the next travesty.
We’re cooking up something SPECIAL for this month’s episode. The demon’s little elves are aiming to stuff your infernal stockings by Christmas. Stay tuned.
As always, your support humbles and inspires us...
2019-12-05 14:30:08 +0000 UTC
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We’re just gonna slam this here for you.
2019-11-08 21:01:12 +0000 UTC
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The demon is certain you want to see Episode 7 as soon as possible (like right meow). However, we ask your patience for a few more days. The episode is nearing completion, but we want to make sure it’s as fine tuned as demonly possible for you. You deserve the best, after all.
Next week you can expect:
-EPISODE 7
-October Giveaways
-All Proxies Mailed Out
THANK YOU for your continued support.
Back to the grindstone...
...
2019-10-31 00:42:26 +0000 UTC
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It's time to announce the monthly giveaways for September!
THE STANDARD BOOSTER GOES TO...
Daniel Harrison. I had to rip this pack from booster bro's, cold, lifeless hands...
THE FALLEN EMPIRES BOOSTER GOES TO...
Carlos Umali. "O Demon, curse this Thy unholy pack of filth that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy jankiness."
Thank you ALL for your continued support!
2019-10-12 00:23:37 +0000 UTC
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A booster box opening from the darkest of all possible futures.
Viewer discretion is advised.
For those newer to the ranks, our current release pattern is a full gameplay episode every other month, with shorter vids in between. EPISODE 7 is scheduled to release on Halloween (claws crossed).
In 2020 the demon wishes to release episodes more frequently, and your support is instrumental in making that a reality! Thank you for being a part of this a...
2019-10-04 14:10:59 +0000 UTC
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It's time to announce the monthly giveaways for August!
THE STANDARD BOOSTER GOES TO...
Caleb Welsh. Congratulations, you fiend...
THE FALLEN EMPIRES BOOSTER GOES TO...
Richard Murphy. Let there be weeping and gnashing of teeth...
THE EPISODE 6 WINNING DECK GOES TO...
Jordan Stafford. Consider it recompense for butchering your name...
till next time, janklords.
xoxo
2019-09-12 23:51:00 +0000 UTC
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The Discord is up!
Questlings and up, all you should need to do is link your Discord account to Patreon and you’ll get an invite from the robot.
Get in here. The water is warm.
2019-09-12 15:45:12 +0000 UTC
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PATRON SAINTS.
We are simply speechless. To supporters old and new: THANK YOU. From the very bottom of the demon's dark heart. You're incredible.
As things ramp up, we're getting things more organized on our end. The Discord will be up very soon, and for those of you who need proxies ordered, you'll get a survey soon as well.
We'll talk to you again, as soon as the Discord is ready.
xoxo
2019-09-04 18:12:20 +0000 UTC
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