Catherynne M. Valente

Denizen of the Month/Update: THIS SPIKY OMICRON BOI RIGHT HERE

This month's Denizen is FUCKING COVID-19 I SWEAR TO GOD I WANT TO PUNCH ITS STUPID FACE.

If you don't follow me on Twitter or haven't joined the Discord server (invite: https://discord.gg/6gh28zBwHd) you might have missed that, two years deep on this shitshow, I got the 'Vid. 

It is a bunch of trash and I didn't need it THE SAME GODDAMNED WEEK that my pipes burst in the cold and after only just having gott...

Audiography Volume 10: Darlings, It's Cold Outside

Apologies for the lateness of the post. Life is beautiful, life is stupid, life is late. Deadlines are kicking me from one side to another, but the end is in sight.

Living on an island has its charms. There's an eldritch forest right outside my house, sunsets on the beach are unbelievable, and it's a really nice community of people. Quite a few of them contributed to The Rocketship, in fact.

However.

Having spent a good chunk of my life in California and other sunny climes, ...

Special Bonus Excerpt: Space Oddity

This one's for everyone!

I had the notion that this concept would be a chapter long before I even sold a sequel, and I'm PRETTY pleased with how it came out, and I was telling folks on the Discord about it, and I've had an espresso martini, SO YOU GET IT EARLY.

What's so special about humanity? STRAP YOURSELF THE EFF IN.

***

11. Hug Me Tight

The human ability to compartmentalize trauma into two very distinct boxes; one of punch-drunk, truly embar...

Quick Housekeeping: Discord and Schedule

Hey everyone, me here.

As you probably noticed, my life went in the bin last month, and also this month, so I have been bad with updates and am still working on this month's rewards BUT they WILL happen as I have to turn this book in Monday one way or the other, and then my time opens up again. I'm really just so fucking sorry, if I could undo the last two months, believe me, I would.

In the meantime, we have a few new folks, and I wanted to make sure that everyone has access to t...

Good Morning January: Annual Awards Eligibility Post

Since I don't really have a proper blog anymore and my website is undergoing some updates, I decided I would put this bad boi here. This is like a blog, after all. As close as I think internet culture will ever get again. 

I know it's annoying, I know people can get weird about it, but to be honest, even as a fan, there is just so much good science fiction and fantasy coming out every year now that I need authors to post these lists just to keep up! 

So...

Audiography Volume Nine: Young Punkery

Here we are, rolling into the ninth month of the Audiography Reboot: This Time with Less Piracy!

My aunt passed on Christmas Eve. I have mixed feelings as you do when someone you love so deeply has been sick for so long.  I hope you were all able to take some time between Christmas and New Year's to just be with your thoughts and your selves.

I also want to thank you all so much for your best wishes and kind messages. This little community of ours touches me more than I can s...

Open Discussion

Here is your monthly place to chat and get to know each other! Feel free to talk about anything, but be kind, this is a safe place.

How are you all feeling?

State of the Cat Update

Hello all,

Lovely Assistant here again with more not so lovely news. 

Cat's aunt is in really bad shape and she is trying to make funeral arrangements while comforting her cousins.

Because of the emotional toll, as well as not being able to physically get away, Cat won't be at WorldCon this year, not even virtually.

Cat was so looking forward to getting to see you in person, to do signings and really have a chance to talk to you. 2022 is just around the corner and...

Audiography Volume Nine: Young Punkery

My aunt is dying. I don't really know how to process this. I don't know how to handle a world that doesn't have her in it.

I write about music a lot because I lean on music a lot. That's what music is for: transporting you to a different world or time or place or feeling. Music helps anchor the nebulous things in life - you might be eighty years old in a nursing home that smells like stale breath and pudding, but one song can instantly make you sixteen on the beach that smells like salt...

State of the Cat

Hello, all. 

Lovely Assistant here with some not so lovely news. First, Cat/husband/child are all physically fine - y'all don't need to worry about that.

However, Cat's Aunt Cyndi (the aunt from the acknowledgements, who basically functioned like a mother to Cat) is not. She is dying and Cat flew out to Seattle to try and get in her goodbye before it was too late. Cat is. . .having a really hard time.

Currently, she still plans to attend DisCon 3 (aka this year's WorldC...

Character Postcard: Fairyland's Moon

She was so surprised you wanted to hear from her and she said. . .well, I'll let her tell you.

Audiography Volume Eight: Dancing About Architecture

Here we are, rolling into the eighth month of the Audiography Reboot: This Time with Less Piracy!

It's the last day of November but also the start of the holiday season! Still, it's a bit melancholy, with leaves withering in piles as the wind whips through the trees. It's cozy weather, I say, so lend me your ears, snuggle down in a blanket with the comfort beverage of your choice, and give a listen to the collected song stylings of all you crazy cats and kittens. The Dancing About Archi...

Character Postcard Poll

Who would you like to hear from this month?

Source material is in the parentheses, and remember, these options are chosen by the Mad Post Doc and up tiers each month.

Here are the choices suggested so far. Now, I want to say that any details in these will be classified as loose canons--if I were to go back and write a new Fairyland novel one day I will not hold myself precisely to what is said by A-Through-L in a postcard. I will try! But if a plot emergency comes up, well, life i...

ALL CAPS COOKBOOK PRESENTS: Apple Pie for Your Cinnamon Roll Cravings

You may be asking yourselves, best beloveds, how apple pie can sate your cinnamon roll cravings. Have a seat at my kitchen table, let the smell of pie crust oozing syrupy apples waft over you as I enlighten you about the goodness of this dish.

Best part? It looks like you SLAVED away in the kitchen for hours upon hours, painstakingly making an edible gift for your family. In reality, it is easy-peasy, as the kids would say. It's even easier if you use store bought refrigerated pie crust...

Acknowledgments: A Thanksgiving Essay

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. 

And today I did one of the last things you do when making a manuscript into a book: the acknowledgments.

As some of you know, my acknowledgments can sometimes get to be A LOT OF FEELINGS.

This one is one of those. It became a real essay, much as the Space Opera ackies did. So because it is the day for saying thanks, I wanted to post it here so you could all read it, because I think there's a lot more there than just some thank yous, and I'm pr...

Audiography Volume Eight: Architecture About Dancing

I feel like I definitely first encountered this quote (probably) by Martin Mull in a rom-com, but the saying goes:

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Well, since I'm writing about music all the time lately, and I have a book coming out today, AND it is autumn, the most literary season (fight me), this month we're gonna lay that thing down, flip it, and reverse it.

I want your Architecture About Dancing songs: songs about books, storytelling, wri...

Open Discussion

Here is your monthly place to chat and get to know each other! Feel free to talk about anything, but be kind, this is a safe place.

How are you all feeling?

October Orecchiette: Pasta with Caramelized Apples, Onions, Sausage, Goat Cheese, and Crisped Mushrooms Topped with Shredded Georgian-Spiced Brussels Sprouts

Ugh this shit is REAL, I am telling you. It is SO GOOD.

The problem is I don’t actually like apples all that much? But I really like apple picking? And toddlers fucking LOVE apple picking? Like, apple is my least favorite pie. Cider is fine, I guess. I just don’t have THAT many things to make with apples before they go bad other than applesauce, but I wanted my bebe to have the full New England autumn experience SO I HAVE A SHIT TON OF APPLES.

So I says to myself, I says, letâ...

Mandatory Media Dissection Poll

What shall I review this month?

Since I was flat on my back for a good part of September and October (THANKS, MIDDLE-AGED BODY!!), I have more than usual to choose from in the "read, watched, played" categories.  Once again, my judgment is in parentheses so you know what to expect.

Character Postcard: Öö

Delightful Assistant is so happy, because she's been wanting an Öö postcard since I started this reward. Öö is happy, because making humans happy is a Good But Not Always Easy Thing, mostly because humans don't listen to Öö as often as they should.

In any case, here's what Öö has been up to.

Character Postcard: Prester John

So this was technically last month's postcard, but I got distracted by digging up short stories. In any case, it seems some of you miss this guy as much as I do. Now, there may or may not be some news on that front. . .but that is for next year.

Mysterious? Who, me?

Audiography Volume Seven: Spooky Songs

Here we are, rolling into the seventh month of the Audiography Reboot: This Time with Less Piracy!

It's the last day of the spooooookiest month, so why not celebrate with all the spooky, creepy, scary, terrifying songs in one place? The Spooky Songs playlist is live (along with my selections!) and ready for you to put into your ears. Try not to listen in the dark!

To be fair, I will only provide the link to it here - you can share it if you choose! But initial access will only be ...

Fine, I Guess I’m Gonna Say Something About Dave Chappelle Now. Goddammit.

I wasn’t going to say anything.

I really wasn’t.

I have a crushing deadline, and a toddler, and just a whole lot of things going on. And after the last special, frankly, I just didn’t want to deal with the inevitable Twitter scream-a-thon about it if I did say something, pretty much no matter what it was I actually said.

But this fucking story just keeps going on and on and on, and the DiScOuRsE around it has gotten weirder and weirder and meaner and meaner, and hey, l...

CharacterPostcard Poll

Who would you like to hear from this month?

Source material is in the parentheses, and remember, these options are chosen by the Mad Post Doc and up tiers each month.

Here are the choices suggested so far. Now, I want to say that any details in these will be classified as loose canons--if I were to go back and write a new Fairyland novel one day I will not hold myself precisely to what is said by A-Through-L in a postcard. I will try! But if a plot emergency comes up, well, life i...

Open Discussion

Here is your monthly place to chat and get to know each other! Feel free to talk about anything, but be kind, this is a safe place.

How are you all feeling?

Audiography Volume Seven: Spooky Songs

Our seventh audiography theme is...Spooky Songs!

It's October and Christmas trees have been in Costco since August! Someone has to rally around the banner of Halloween and I know I can count on all of my beloved fans to sally forth.

I want your spooky music, your scary music, and your just plain weird music. The Sanderson Sisters are ready to ride the night skies and Jack Skellington is pouring out his heart on Spiral Hill. Freddy Krueger is lurking in your dreams and Jason has cl...

Audiography Playlist Volume Six: Guilty Pleasures

Here we are, rolling into the sixth month of the Audiography Reboot: This Time with Less Piracy!

The Guilty Pleasures playlist is live (along with my selections!) and ready for you to put into your ears. I will say, many of you do not seem to be the least bit Guilty about your Listening Pleasures. And frankly, that is Correct. We love what we love and should not feel guilty about it.

 To be fair, I will only provide the link to it here - you can share it if you choose! But in...

All Bad Things: How to Amuse Yourself with Star Trek When You Have Already Seen Every Star Trek So Many Times It Even Weirds Out Other Trekkies

Note: This got very long. As in, I managed to cover one episode and my history with Trek and it's already 2500 words. So to save my still destroyed back (I was in traction this week! That was weird!) I will continue this in installments, hopefully finishing up next month. I bit off a little more than I can chew! But it's very fun, and it'll keep going, but I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer.

***

It never seems to have really gotten around that I’m a T...

ALLCAPS COOKBOOK PRESENTS: Peach and Honey-Brandy Cheese Pastry Pocketsquares with Fresh Thyme

Peach and Honey-Brandy Cheese Pastry Pocketsquares with Fresh Thyme

These are so easy yet so impressive-looking I can’t even express to you the size of the BIG BAMBOOZLE here. With zero skill, you can look like you’re ready for the Great British Bakeoff and your motherfucking Hollywood handshake.

I’m pretty into the whole make it simple, use pre-made ingredients creatively right now, because back injury and deadlines make hours in the kitchen, no matter how ...

Bonus Reward: The Seething Sea Sufficeth Us

In tracking down all the stories whose characters were requested for this month's postcard, I discovered that the organization that commissioned one of the stories seems to only host the stories until the next year's theme (mine was the future of the oceans) and publication, and my little orca story no longer seems to be available online, unless my Google-fu has truly failed me, which is certainly possible.

But either way, it's been a year and a half and copyright would revert to me ANY...