A Very Strange Thanksgiving, Part 1
Blake Isley
I stared at the strange portal in front of the hospital. This was most certainly not normal. A few portals had opened up between Earth-Bet and the pokemon world, courtesy of Hoopa, but I knew what those looked like. This wasn’t it.
Rather than Hoopa’s gold-ringed purple, it was a wooden door, one that could be found anywhere. Except, it was here, flush against a wall that most certainly had...
2025-11-25 13:25:16 +0000 UTC
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Build 6.9
Bryce Kiley
2011, January 15: Brockton Bay, NH, USA
I ducked under a sloppy palm strike and flowed into Sabah’s guard. Before she could center herself, I jabbed her in the armpit and throat. At the same time, I leaned forward, stepping on her leading foot with my own.
“Eep!” she yelped, more in discomfort than pain.
She tried to pull back but my foot kept her in place. In the end, she could only move her back foot a ...
2025-11-24 14:23:21 +0000 UTC
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Build 6.8
Bryce Kiley
2011, January 15: Brockton Bay, NH, USA
The fourth Saturday was always something of a wildcard for me. There was no predicting what my power would give me so waking up in the morning was like opening a massive Christmas gift. Would I get a spaceship? Power armor? Nanobot swarm? Biological horrors?
No, I’d gotten none of those. At least, not chiefly. I stared up at the ceiling without truly seeing anything before me...
2025-11-21 13:26:12 +0000 UTC
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Build 6.7
Bryce Kiley
2011, January 12: Brockton Bay, NH, USA
“So, how’s it going?” I asked Amy. She was hunched over a second devil fruit, brow scrunched in concentration. Ever since we proved that the devil fruits could tangibly improve a Case-53’s life, she’d been far more enthusiastic about improving it. “Any luck?”
She let out a frustrated growl. “Kinda. I made a bit of progress. I have a general hypothesis of how the...
2025-11-17 15:19:39 +0000 UTC
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Homeless Bunny 38
Tianyu Yue
The rest of the week was largely peaceful. For me, that is. Everyone else leapt into training with a fervor that was downright obsessive.
I supposed that was to be expected. They were huntsmen, even the twins. They weren’t used to feeling weak. Faced with the reality of their chosen profession, they responded with an urgent drive to grow stronger. That was true of everyone but doubly so for Pyrrha.
Pyrrha...
2025-11-14 13:24:55 +0000 UTC
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Penpals are So Last Season.
Fleur Delacour
Delacour Chateau, France
I awoke to a loud, high-pitched squealing that made the windows shiver. One could be forgiven for thinking someone was being murdered. Alas, I knew better. Two seconds later, I felt my little sister jump onto my bed.
“Merry Christmas! Wake up, Fleur! It’s Christmas!” Gabrielle chirped incessantly, as if she was afraid people would stop comparing us veela to birds.
2025-11-12 18:03:47 +0000 UTC
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Build 6.6
Bryce Kiley
2011, January 11: Brockton Bay, NH, USA
Vice Principal Culpepper called me into his office on Monday and told me that none of the songs I gave him were recognizable by his kids. Maybe it was a shitty litmus test, but that was the bar he set to make sure I was serious about this whole music thing. He then had an online interview with my “boss” that evening, 7 PM our time because my “boss” was out in Los Angeles and ...
2025-11-10 12:55:33 +0000 UTC
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The River King 11
Kirk Mueller
I opened my eyes to the dim darkness of Monarch’s hideout. It was a warehouse; I’d been in enough of those to recognize one even in the low light. Hell, it was practically tradition: If you weren’t Protectorate, you had to have a warehouse hideout somewhere.
The only source of light was a dimly flickering incandescent bulb that hung uncovered from the ceiling. It hadn’t even been attached right; the onl...
2025-11-07 13:31:55 +0000 UTC
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Chapter 14: Squaring the Debt
Rigal Phenex
Tower of Fate, MA, USA
I laid there, on the roof of the Tower of Fate, and quietly processed our victory. And, it was a victory, even if I wasn’t entirely satisfied with the outcome. The tower was safe. The helmet was safe. No one died.
Well, except Abra Kadabra, but that was my doing. No one important died. And, with any luck, Serling and Victor would be able to reverse engineer some ...
2025-11-03 13:41:18 +0000 UTC
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As many of y'all know, I don't set polls for the month of December. That is my rest month, in which I fulfill a handful of commissions but otherwise refuse to take any obligations. This does not mean there will be no updates, only that I get to update whatever I want without answering to other people.
In previous years, I used to set up a survey to find out more about my demographic, but I think it's stayed fairly consistent so I don't see the need to do it again. Instead, please just ...
2025-11-01 14:59:28 +0000 UTC
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Chapter 49: A Monument to New Beginnings
Brockton Bay, NH, USA
Monday, February 14, 2011
Type: Rock
Aegis and Vista left to close out their patrol. After a quick rest, I picked up my self-imposed construction project again. The sun had set, but I had a few hours to go until midnight. Unfortunately, I’d lost track of time while building the pier.
I smiled ruefully as I got to work again. When was the last time I did t...
2025-10-31 13:40:36 +0000 UTC
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How Legends are Made 2
Yasunori Kaname
My breath came in ragged gasps. My heart thundered in my chest, sending my blood singing through my veins. I searched frantically for a threat that no longer existed. Sato-san’s auto shop was quiet save for the voice in my head.
Slowly, the pounding in my ears died down. My blood cooled and the crimson sparks that clad my fists faded away. My breath evened out as my body finally registered that I wasn...
2025-10-27 09:56:32 +0000 UTC
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Aaron’s Pokemon
- Artoria (Kirlia)
- Jeanne (Flaaffy)
- Durvasa (Mankey)
- Skånsk Aggakaga (Egg)
- Magellan (Chikorita)
Entree 5.10
Aaron Fulan
Rusturf Mountains
I promised Jeanne that I’d teach her a song on the thoramin if she worked hard to fully integrate Fire Punch into her fighting style. I should’ve done that earlier because that motivated her like nothing else.
I was...
2025-10-24 12:18:02 +0000 UTC
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Preface
Is a reward for an omake someone threw together. Now my backlog's really shot. Hmm... In the interest of encouraging more people to write, I'm willing to keep this up. Chapter-length omake for a chapter seems fair. Cheaper than a commission, right?
Bonus points if you actually manage to make me laugh.
Chapter 41: Feeling that Holiday Spirit
Violet Potter
Hogwarts, Great Britain
2025-10-22 13:04:13 +0000 UTC
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Narani on Discord made an omake for me. I just have to remember to post this to the public when I post chapter 40. They asked for another Troll chapter so I guess you'll get a third one before the end of the month.
2025-10-21 14:14:23 +0000 UTC
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Chapter 40: Horsing Around
Blaise Zabini
Forbidden Forest, Hogwarts
I’d intentionally had a light day today. I skipped my fencing lesson. I scried my legilimency “training aide” so I could feed mom the answers I wanted and finish up early. It was all so I could take an afternoon nap. Hell, I’d even brought a big, muggle thermos of coffee, big enough that it was made for soup rather than a beverage.
It hadn’t been enough. I’d e...
2025-10-20 11:51:31 +0000 UTC
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Playing God 11
Charlie Foxtrot
We left Sunspear from the main gate. Judging by the looks shared between Andrey and the guards, I had a feeling that he was here to make sure their princess didn’t run off again as much as for her protection. Admittedly, I thought it was an understandable concern, even if it made me chuckle. Maybe, if Doran annoyed me enough, I’d offer Arianne a Gate to Highgarden so she could proposition the Tyrell heir directly...
2025-10-17 11:55:37 +0000 UTC
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The River King 10
Taylor Hebert
As much as I wanted to, I didn’t go after the Empire or Hookwolf right away. As much as I hated him, as much as I wanted my life back, the thought of fighting him again sent a shiver of dread down my spine.
I had everything going for me there. I got to strike first. I just had to distract him long enough for the cops and animal shelter workers to leave. My swarm had been bigger than ever. And I still lost. N...
2025-10-15 14:07:03 +0000 UTC
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Inspiration 10.1
2005, October 31: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Riley was adorable. It was an immutable truth of this world, as sure as the rising sun. But today, my darling little sister was cuter than usual.
‘You are biased,’ Farya sniffed, ever the voice of detached elegance. Gaining a more humanoid form had made her even more aloof.
‘Oh? Are you saying my little sister isn’t cute?’
2025-10-13 13:11:04 +0000 UTC
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Burnout 2.9
Pierce Townsend
September 2015
I had no idea where I was anymore. I haven't since yesterday. Every space between every tree looked the goddamn same, like it could be the start of a trail back to town. I could’ve sworn I’d bent the branches of a thousand shrubs to get an idea of where I’d been, but could never find those shrubs again.
I wasn’t a woodsman; that was Dennis and Jose’s thing. I knew the basics, like every...
2025-10-10 14:06:51 +0000 UTC
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Chapter 13: Klarion
Rigal Phenex
Tower of Fate, MA, USA
Absentmindedly, I sent the fool’s corpse away to the Phoenix Roost. I vaguely remembered him as the idiotic time traveler who came from the future so he could pass his tech off as magic. Maybe Serling or Victor could make use of his wares.
But right now, my attention was on Zatanna. Her request was basically the same as handing me a blank check. She had to know that, just like she ...
2025-10-08 12:53:13 +0000 UTC
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Chapter 39: Morally Questionable Training Montage
Blaise Zabini
Zabini Manor, Great Britain
Valencia showed me the wand motions for legilimens. It was a counter-clockwise circle starting from the six o’clock position into an upward, vertical slash towards the subject’s forehead. Committing it to memory didn’t take long.
A part of me felt like it should have. This was the spell that allowed a wizard to violate someone in the most int...
2025-10-06 13:07:53 +0000 UTC
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How Legends are Made 1
97 AN: Howling Abyss, Freljord
Ryze stood at the northernmost edge of the world, a gaping chasm that imprisoned terrors even gods feared. A century after his quest began, he was at his journey's end. The magic of the World Runes flowed through him despite his utter loathing for them. The raw mana they exuded was enough to change him, make him more than mortal, an archmage with one foot into the realm of gods.
The Rune ...
2025-10-05 11:19:06 +0000 UTC
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Don Texas 3.8.5
John Soprano
Welcome to the Parahumans Online message boards.
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2025-10-04 12:52:59 +0000 UTC
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Don Texas 3.8
Robin Swoyer
Things moved quickly after that. It would have been proper to get permission from Director Piggot, but we all had orders to humor the mesquite mafiiso. Before I knew it, I was staring up at Vimana, a magic airplane supposedly from ancient times.
It was splendid. Its body was a radiant gold and tapered to a lethal point. Its arching wings looked to be made of emerald stained glass that reminded me of the wings of a ...
2025-10-03 11:56:49 +0000 UTC
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Don Texas 3.7
Noelle Meinhardt
“That… That was humiliating,” I groaned, forehead slumped against John’s bathroom mirror. The glass felt nice and cool. That was good, because my face was burning, probably hot enough to match that Laeva-whatsit that John used to roast his chickens.
John gave me a new body. Though I understood intellectually how involved that process would be, I hadn’t fully processed it until we began. When ...
2025-10-02 14:11:20 +0000 UTC
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Last poll of the year. Troll was removed because it won last. The Holy Grill was removed because I'm going to do the funnies.
What do you call a zucchini noodle?
An impasta... because it's fake... get it...?
2025-10-01 11:44:12 +0000 UTC
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Don Texas 3.6
John Soprano
The clock ticked down and the bell rang. Each of my seven contestants stood in a neat row, ready to present their dishes. Well, most of them. Narwhal had other places to be. Or she used her job as an excuse to ditch. Probably a bit of both.
“You know, we’re supposed to be the ones doing the eating,” I said, waving at myself and the other judges.
Mars stared me down. She picked out a particularl...
2025-10-01 11:35:53 +0000 UTC
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All the Bees 6
Mitsu Akimitchi
I pressed Kurobachi’s head away with my finger. Enlarged as I was, she was about the size of two knuckles. “Stop that.”
“But it’s tasty,” she whined adorably. Even knowing she had enough venom in her abdomen to drop most of the world’s megafauna didn’t keep me from comparing her to a big, fuzzy jelly bean. "You have so much…”
“I gave you your share,” I replied, gesturing to a woode...
2025-09-29 12:03:32 +0000 UTC
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Aaron’s Pokemon
- Artoria (Kirlia)
- Jeanne (Flaaffy)
- Durvasa (Mankey)
- Baghali Ghatogh (Egg)
- Magellan (Chikorita)
Entree 5.9
Magellan
Verdanturf City
This man-made forest, an “orchard,” was interesting. It was nature, yet it followed the laws I witnessed in the forest of stone my trainer called “Rustboro.” And all of it belonged to one family of humans and their pokemon.<...
2025-09-26 11:37:25 +0000 UTC
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