fullparagon

Last Drop of Hope Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Dead Man’s Duel

Desperately, Aqua put her hands to the dying man’s face. Blood crusted her hands, stained her clothes, even flecked her hair. But she had no time to think, no time to stop. “Heal!”

The man gasped, the gash on his forehead knitting, his severed arm regrowing, his blown off foot reattaching itself. He looked up at her, tears in his eyes, and gave his thanks, his faith, to Aqua.

She had washed away a little of the pain, but there was more. Oh, there was so much more.

“Why does the world have to be such a horrible place?!” Aqua wailed, and scrambled on hands and knees to the next injured that had been brought to the trauma tent. This one was an orc woman, one she didn’t recognize, with her guts spilling out of her, her life hanging by only a thread. “Heal!”

All around Aqua, dozens of injured moaned, and though a steady line of those she had healed was returning to the fight, no matter how fast she worked, no matter how many she restored, there was always more suffering, more pain. Tears streaming down her cheeks, she worked desperately to somehow, against all odds, clear the backlog of injured.

Beside her, several other priests of the Axis Cult, along with medics and doctors trying to triage. Of course, low level priests couldn’t heal multiple trauma patients who were on death’s door. Aqua loved her followers and had faith in them, but there were limits, and thanks to the stupid rules being biased, you didn’t get experience for healing or making art, only dumb fighting. So after only one or two patients, they had to go lay down and sleep for at least half an hour to get enough mana back to hope to heal again.

Tears streaming down her face, Aqua finally stood up, looking to where the battle was going on. She couldn’t see it, they were underground in a bunker, but she could feel it. Sense the people dying, the people screaming in pain, praying to her for help. Feel the sorrow, the rage, the pain. It was too much. She couldn’t just keep healing one person at a time, it wasn’t working!

“I have to stop it, to make them stop!” Aqua growled, and stalked towards the exit of the bunker.

Before she could get there, Megumin was in her way, glaring up at her. “You can’t go outside! You have to stay here, where it’s safe!”

“But they NEED me!” Aqua protested, pointing towards the battle.

“So do they,” Megumin said, pointing back to the mass of injured in the makeshift hospital.

Aqua turned, biting her lip, bouncing on her toes, indecisive. She looked back to Megumin. “But…but we have to stop it! Stop them all! You’re my champion, you could fight too!”

“Much as I’d like to…” Megumin growled, scowling and looking frustrated. “Look, if you die, we’re all dead. My job is to keep you safe! So you stay here, and help!”

“I…I guess…” Aqua said, turning back to the injured, feeling utterly useless. She couldn’t possibly save them all…

Hurrying back, Aqua began to weep uncontrollably, even as she worked at healing those who were injured. Megumin continued to guard the door, along with Komekko, who was sitting miserably on an empty crate, Hoost perched on her head. Yunyun was attempting to help, to Megumin’s frustration, carrying bandages to the nurses and doctors, or doing what she could to comfort the injured.

“Should… should we help?” Komekko asked uncertainly. “They’re Outsiders, but…”

“We are helping,” Megumin assured her. “We’re guarding them. Send Houst out, look for stealthed blackhats. Because if they take out Aqua, this is all pointless. And we can’t be on guard if we’re playing medics.”

“Yeah, I guess. You hear that, Hoost?” Komekko asked, looking up at the bird perched on her forehead.

The big raven bobbed his head, but shifted uneasily from foot to foot, which looked rather odd with him atop his mistress’ head. “Yeah boss, but you see… they’re fightin’ a war out there, you know? A bird could get shot going out there! And me, well, you see, I got this allergy. Pain and suffering just make be break out in hives. Achoo! See, allergies are actin’ up just THINKING about that stuff.”

“Yeah, but I can just summon you if you get killed and you’ll be fine,” Komekko pointed out, frowning up at the raven, which was rubbing his beak with a wing as he faked another sneeze.

“Maybe later, boss. Allergies are just the worst. I think I need some corn and a nap,” Hoost protested.

“Yeah, but if I die, I can’t summon you anymore, and then you won’t exist, right?” Komekko asked, kicking her legs as they dangled against the side of the crate. “So you gotta find the bad guys so my sisters can beat ‘em up.”

“Uh, that is an excellent point, however…”

“If Aqua dies, the corn dies,” Megumin said bluntly.

Hoost immediately spread his wings and took off. “Great grains, why didn’t start with that?! You can count on me, boss! No one is going to get near the Corny Lady!”

Somehow, Hoost managed to salute with one wing while flapping, then headed up out of the bunker.

“You know, when you took Summon Familiar, I didn’t think he’d be that opinionated,” Megumin said, frowning at the glowing purple feathers that floated down in Hoosts wake. When they hit the ground, they dissolved in a flash of violet light, turning into motes of energy that faded away.

“I like him! He’s a nice chicken,” Komekko said happily. Then she frowned. “Wait, what’s Aqua doing?”

“Dammit, what NOW!?” Megumin snarled, turning back around. As she did so, her foot splashed into a puddle, and she looked down to see a glowing blue puddle lapping at her boots. As her gaze slowly swung up, her jaw dropped open.

Aqua was hovering in the center of the room, still weeping uncontrollably. When people said “cry me a river” the expression was usually a metaphor. In Aqua’s case, she had LITERALLY cried enough to create a small river, which was turning into a lake. At first, Megumin panicked, thinking that the injured soldiers were going to drown. A closer look, however, showed that anyone the glowing water touched was soon back on their feet, even the corpses. Wounds were being knitted shut before her eyes, and the blood and mess of the wounded was being washed away in the tears of a goddess.

“Um, um,” Yunyun said, frantically looking around as the room slowly flooded. “Do we…do we stop her?”

“Why?” Megumin asked with a shrug. “It’s doing what we wanted her to do.”

Hopping down off the crate, Komekko stuck a finger in the water, then put it to her lips, to her elder sisters’ horror. “KOMEKKO!”

“What? It’s sweet! Try some,” Komekko suggested and held up her finger that was dripping tears.

“That can’t be sanitary!” Megumin said, pushing Komekko’s hand down and feeling faintly ill. “Tears are salty and stuff.”

“A-and all the other stuff, l-like the blood,” Yunyun hastily added, taking out her canteen and offering it to Komekko. “Rinse your mouth out!”

“But Aqua purifies stuff. It’s just water,” Komekko said but took a swig from the canteen anyway.

“Weird that we got used to drinking that, I guess,” Megumin agreed.

As they chatted, Aqua slowly stopped crying, seeming to cheer up out of the blue. She smiled around at the various people kneeling in the water before her. “Thanks for all the prayers! I see everyone’s feeling better now, so I don’t have to be sad! Now we can-”

The ground suddenly trembled, and Megumin cried out as the lights flickered, a deep roar shaking the room.

“W-what was that?!” Aqua gasped, looking about in panic. Behind her, Megumin noticed that water continued to pour out, apparently from the air. Had Aqua just cried so hard she created a fountain? And when would it run out?

“Artillery shell,” one of the veterans grunted as he got to his feet. “Must have been a stray shot, we-”

The earth bucked and heaved again, and Aqua let out a wail of despair. Then a continuous roar as the ceiling above them shuddered.

“W-what’s happening?!” Aqua blubbered, already crying again, though not to the same extent.

“They’ve zeroed in on you,” Megumin said grimly, drawing Gram and facing towards the exit. “And they’re trying to pin us.”

It had been a long time since Beldia had waged a proper war. For over a hundred years, he’d been ensconced in his fortress, not doing much of anything aside from exploring his endless collection of porn and finding new women to ogle. Even that, however, got old, especially when he couldn’t actually do anything. The urge remained, but there was no equipment. And with no mana, he couldn’t even torture and enslave them and raise them as Death Knights, so what was even the point?

But war…war was what Beldia had been raised for. He had been a knight in life, and while he had been executed for raping the wrong woman, he really should have just stuck to lowborns instead of a noblewoman, he had been one of the kingdom’s best generals in life. Those skills had transferred, and once the Devil King had brought him back in unlife, Belida had been a major force in slaying the gods and bringing about the dark triumph.

And not just because he was a terrifying force on the battlefield personally. Oh no. Belida understood how to fight.

And he’d kept up with things. Tanks and blackhat teams were different from knights and sorcerers, but it all boiled down to the same thing: Logistics, positioning, and morale.

Right now, he was beat on the morale front. His troops were aggressive, trained, and well equipped, yes, but they were largely green. The other side wasn’t composed of veterans either, but they were the Axis Cult, and the Axis Cult didn’t break. The battle had also started with his forces in a horrendous position. He had a long grind ahead of him if he played according to their rules, one that involved assaulting an entrenched position. He could wait for Hans to join in, but where was the fun in that?

So, he probed. He baited, he waited. And after a couple of hours, he found his point of attack.

One of Wiz’s flanks had held a little too well, and a pocket had developed. Beldia had tried falling back, but they refused to budge at first. Then, he’d made gains in the center and turned to cut off and envelop the pocket. That had resulted in Wiz rushing to save her troops, tender heart that she was. It had been a mistake. Her pocket could have held for a while, but Beldia was now giving the Wiz troops that had tried to advance to rescue their comrades a thorough drubbing.

And then he’d sensed it. The mana. The power. The sheer, unparalleled might of a Senior Goddess, using her powers in a completely unrestrained fashion. Aqua. She was even more foolish than Wiz when it came to war; she should have been much, much further back. Beldia focused all his energy, all his troops, on getting to Aqua. His superior gear and numbers punched through the center that had been weakened to reinforce the flank, and he began a great slaughter.

His troops were more mobile, so he was able to advance quickly, leapfrogging over lines of defense, and then doubling back to pick off pockets of resistance. All of it was focused on one thing: Getting to that accursed goddess. It was working, too. He had her pinned down now with a sustained barrage of artillery, and his troops were getting to striking range. For now, however…

Gathering up the ambient mana, Beldia grinned, his once nearly emptied reserves swelling to nearly full. He gestured to the corpses of his fallen troops and bid them rise. With a moan and a clatter of bone, zombies, wights, skeletons, and even a bodak, rose at his command. He pointed his blade, and they shambled forward, the endless ranks of the dead.

“All too easy,” Beldia chuckled, resting his blade on his shoulder.

He wasn’t interested in killing Aqua. Clearly, he needed to capture her. Yes, covering the world in an undead nightmare was nice, but he needed a private game reserve of humans. There would normally be the danger of Aqua killing him, she was easily capable of that, but he had living minions aplenty. He’d figure out how Sylvia and Wiz had kept the goddess chained, and do the same.

Perhaps every few centuries he’d let her out and have a proper war. He looked out across the smoky haze of the undercity and watched as a pair of hover tanks ambushed a column of ShopWiz armor. Despite their inferior numbers, their maneuverability and firepower overwhelmed the ShopWiz forces in short order. They left only burning wreckage behind him, and Beldia grinned.

“Glorious.”

Laughing, Belida strolled towards the opposite flank. He had no desire to get any closer to Aqua: He had mortal pawns for that. Wiz was now trapped in that pocket, and Beldia also didn’t feel the need to face her. It was unlikely she could kill him, she was the Ice Witch, not the Water Witch, but again, why take the risk? A little action was one thing, get the old ichor flowing. But he’d been alive for almost a millennia. No reason to end the streak now.

He found his troops besieging a small water treatment plant, or what had been one. Ironic, that. Ah well, he’d made damn sure there was no real running water here, so no danger to him.

“C-CEO Belida!? W-we weren’t expecting you, sir!” one of the nameless goons he employed stammered, the man nervously saluting.

“What seems to be the problem, Captain?” Beldia said, eyeing the improvised fortification ahead of them.

“Well sir, um, we were making headway, until…” the officer wilted further, and Belida turned his head towards the man, his baleful gaze causing the man to pale.

“Until…what?”

“Well sir…t-three of the Axel Security officers, including Chief Swatti…they, um…”

Beldia stomped forward, his head rotating in the tank at the center of his metal body until it glared down at the gnat of a human. “They what?”

“They…betrayed us, sir. Switched sides…w-we’ve attacked three times, but she has Ford and Shin in there!”

“Ford and Shin,” Beldia murmured, turning away. “Ah, yes. The two curvy female officers. They were supposed to be that ugly sow’s finest.”

“They, uh, they are, sir. Don’t know how they didn’t become blackhats,” the captain admitted, swallowing nervously. “Well get them out, don’t worry.”

“You failed me, Captain,” Beldia said absently.  With a casual swipe of his sword, he cut the man’s head off. “There’s a price for that.”

The man slumped to the ground, but before he even hit the dirt, he was already picking his head up, the eyes now glowing with a red light. “Fortunately, I am merciful. Gather your men. I haven’t gotten a decent workout in ages.”

Casually, Beldia began to stroll towards the Axis strongpoint. As he got closer, small caliber rounds began to ping off his armor, then an RPG. He snorted. He was made of Adamantium now, and essentially immune to any weaponry. Nothing short of a thermobaric bomb could stop him, and he’d likely survive that too.

Then the first fireball impacted him, and Beldia laughed. “Yes, yes, that’s more like it! Come at me! You don’t even understand what immunity to mid-level spells is, do you?! I can’t even feel that!”

Then a beam of blue light stabbed out, and he grunted. That burning sensation, the icy pain… oh, it had been so very, very long since he’d felt that. He didn’t like it, didn’t enjoy it, but it was the price of doing business. “Axis. I’m going to enjoy slaughtering you.”

The priest he faced was apparently almost mid-level, judging by their output of holy energy. Then again, they could just be an extra fanatical one. Priest’s strength was almost directly tied to their faith and the power of their patron more than their own ability, which was asinine. Aqua’s faithful had always been extra annoying, as her primary domains were Water and Healing, both of which were especially effective against the undead, enough to bypass his damage reduction and immunities.

Still, they’d need a dozen or more priests of that level to harm him, or one of the proper lineage. She’d run out of faith soon enough.

More rockets, Molotov cocktails, wind blades, and bullets bounced off Beldia, but it was the few stray Turn Undead spells that actually hurt him. Still, even at his slow pace, his large strides ate up the ground, and he was there in less than a minute. He opened up with his minigun when he was inside a dozen paces, far closer than needed, but he wanted to savor the screams.

He hosed down the building, cackling as the walls crumbled at the assault of his tungsten rounds. He fired off a few rockets as well, just for flavor, and the front of the building collapsed. He grinned, at first, then frowned. He couldn’t sense any death. Actually, he sensed…

The dust began to settle, and a white light blazed through. A giant figure in dark armor, with the Nytetech symbols defaced, and the seven-spoked wheel of the Axis drawn in their place, stood before Beldia, shield raised. They were panting hard, but their Sanctuary spell had been powerful. Too powerful for merely mundane ammunition.

Beldia slowly raised his cannon as the barrels spun down. “Impressive. Who are you, warrior?”

Shield held high, the figure took a step forward, drawing an axe that blazed with a holy aura. “I am Lalatina Ford Dustiness. And you shall harm no one else here, monster.”

Fear gripped what was left of Beldia’s heart, and he took half a step back. A high noble, here?! That was impossible! He’d wiped out the bloodlines ages ago! Now that he was looking, he could sense powerful artifacts present, which explained the Sanctuary spell.

Then he saw she was bleeding, her armor cracked, with several holes in it. The fool was barely on her feet. A high noble name, but the blood was weak, thin. She couldn’t be more than level three. This would be a slaughter.

“Well. A worthy fight at last.” Beldia detached his cannon and tossed it to the side. He drew his black blade again and pointed it at the woman. “Come, knight. Face me, and die.”

The crack of a pistol sounded, and Beldia almost laughed. That couldn’t possibly-

The glass around his head cracked as a round hit it. That should have been impossible. Calling it glass was an understatement: It was made of the heart of an ice dragon, a substance so durable it had lasted for centuries after the last dragon had been slain. Forged by Beldia himself, it was imbued with so many layers of protective magic that nothing, especially not a low caliber pistol shot, should have been able to harm it.

“She won’t fight alone,” a second voice called, and another woman in armor and wielding two pistols stepped around her companion. “I am Claire Symphonia. And you die here and now, Beldia!”

Two. Two high nobles. And an Axis Priestess. Beldia should have run, retreated, let his minions handle this.

Instead, he laughed and spread his arms wide in welcome and exaltation. “Finally! A worthy challenge! Our battle shall be the last great conflict of this age! Come, heroes! Come and break yourselves upon my blade! Your ancestors tried me, and I found them lacking! COME AND FACE THE ALL SEEING EYE OF DEATH!”

With a roar, Beldia charged, and the two nobles leapt forward to face him.

“Reinforce!” Tina cried out, even as the black blade descended towards her shield. She only knew a handful of spells, none of them offensively oriented. That suited her fine. Claire was her sword, she the shield. Her shield glowed with power, but when the dark sword of the cyborg monstrosity struck, the metal squealed, and a large cut bit into the top of the shield.

With a grunt, Tina twisted it, trying to wrench the sword away from Beldia, but it was no use. Despite her strength and all the long hours of training she’d endured, despite even the sudden surge of power she’d felt ever since she foreswore herself and became a Crusader, she could have no more budged the hilt in Beldia’s one-handed grip than she could have held up the sky.

Still, it didn’t matter. She wasn’t the sword. She was the distraction.

“TURN UNDEAD!” Cecily shrieked, and the blue blaze of her spell struck Beldia square in the chest, where the malevolent head floated.

“DEADEYE!” Claire’s pistols cracked in rapid succession, and while sparks and chunks of glass sprayed from Beldia, he was undeterred.

“Is that all?” the CEO laughed. With a flick of his wrist, he sent Darkness tumbling away, her shield ripped from her hands. She barely avoided bowling over Cecily, managing to tumble back to her feet.

As she did so, she felt a rising sense of horror and looked up to see Claire desperately backing away, her guns firing faster than should have been possible, and putting out more rounds than they could have reasonably held. They did nothing to slow Beldia’s sudden surge of motion, and his black sword flickered out, striking at Claire with speed that defied the CEOs bulk.

“INTERCEPT!” Tina wailed, and she was hurled across the battlefield faster than she could blink, barely interposing her fire axe between that terrible blade and Claire’s guts. She didn’t try a direct block, instead chopping at the blade as though it were a tree with all her might. Her swing managed to drive the sword point down and away from Claire, who rolled out of the way.

Somehow, Claire managed to reload during the roll, and she came back up, guns blazing.

Even so, Tina was fighting for her life. She had only her axe now, and the fall of Beldia’s blade was relentless. She hacked it away from herself with desperate ferocity, the steel ringing like a bell as it struck at that terrible midnight sword.

Beldia was clearly not even trying, coming at Tina with lazy swings that nonetheless were both deadly accurate and impossibly strong. Even with all her might, she was barely holding him off, desperate to buy just a few more seconds for Cecily and Claire to whittle the monster down.

Another spell splashed off Beldia, rounds sparking off his armor and head case. Backpedaling, Tina tried to steer Beldia away from her allies, but she was doing too much at once. She tripped over something, a rock, a crater, a fallen body part, she didn’t see. It did have the one saving grace of causing Beldia’s latest stroke to go wide, but she landed on her back, hard, the scream of Claire ringing in her ears.

The first stroke fell upon Tina like an avalanche, and she flung herself to the side, desperately rolling out of the way. But despite the force of the assault, Belida recovered too quickly, the sword coming down again, and Tina couldn’t arrest her motion fast enough to prevent herself from rolling right into it.

She thought she was dead, until two shapes hurtled in, crashing into Beldia with a roar of “AXIS!”

Beldia staggered back, and a shotgun roared as Chief Swatti unloaded at point-blank range. Her daughter hacked away with a heavy combat machete, the kind blackhats used to carve one another out of power armor. The two orcs' assault was relentless, ferocious, and perfectly coordinated. They even attached two charges to Beldia, then jumped back, as a giant explosion went off, tossing Tina up in the air and back.

“You OK, kid?” Swatti asked, landing beside Tina and dragging her up to her feet.

“Fine, is he-” Tina gasped.

“Not dead, get ready to-”

Whatever Swatti had been going to say was cut off as a black blade rammed itself through her gut. She vomited black blood, then was picked up and flung away by the sword, her body ragdolling through the air until it slammed into the wall of the building behind them two stories up, then tumbled down.

“MOTHER!” Brunhilda screamed. “NO!”

She attempted to charge again, only for Beldia’s sword to sweep through the air, neatly bisecting her, the top of the line blackhat armor offering no more resistance than tin foil. The two halves of her body tumbled past Beldia, leaving a spray of gore and guts in their wake.

“Tch. Pathetic,” Beldia sneered, casually flicking his blade to the side, the blood on it leaving a wide spatter on Tina’s armor. “Low-level monsters have no place in a duel of this caliber. Now, shall we continue?”

Bending down, Darkness picked up her fallen Chief’s shotgun and hefted it. It still held a couple rounds. She was breathing hard, and looked over to Claire, who looked shaken. Cecily was kneeling on the ground, a dazed and vacant expression on her face, hands pressed together in prayer as tears slipped down her cheeks.

“Ah, a pity. It seems your priest wasn’t able to keep up. Mind Down is a terrible condition to have. Oh well, she won’t have to worry about the headache that comes from it. She’ll be dead in a few minutes. But you two…you’re high nobles. Surely that’s not all you’ve got?” Beldia cackled.

In response, Darkness numbly raised her gun and fired. She’d been aiming for the leering head, but as always, her aim was off. Her round pinged off his chest armor, though really, it probably didn’t matter. “Go to hell.”

“Ah, but my dear, I am in hell. Don’t you see? I RULE HERE!” Beldia declared, raising his hands up to the heavens.

Which was when the ceiling exploded, and a great boulder crashed down, slamming into Beldia, as a fiery streak screamed down towards Tina.

Second Archon War, Imperatrix Umberosa 13

Imperatrix Umberos 13: Shadows of the Past

Beta’d and edited by Dr_Feelgood, Philosophysics, the Grand Cogitator, and October Daye

The scent of the tea was rich and fragrant as Ami carefully steeped the leaves. As her mother had taught her, she had Mushu infuse a little Electro into the liquid, which added both a tangy flavor and gave the liquid magical properties. It was hard to make a tea ceremony awesome, but her mom could definitely do it. Especially one held in another dimension.

Above her head, the sky of Euthymia glowed, a swirl of endless purple clouds. There was no lightning or distant rumbles, which meant that her mom wasn’t mad. It was sort of useful to know if you were in trouble because bolts of lightning started flashing outside, but it was also embarrassing and kinda scary that everyone knew if you got a bad mark because there was a thunderstorm.

When the tea finished, she poured a cup first for her mother, then her sister. Tsu nodded gratefully, breaking her staring contest with their mother, who sat placidly herself. It was strange that they were drinking the more traditional tea, and not coke or milk tea. The food was traditional as well, simple rice balls and some sushi.

When Ami handed her mother her cup, Ei nodded and took a long sip, then gave Ami a small smile. “Good. You have learned well.”

It was simple praise, but it made Ami’s heart swell with pride more than any number of accolades from her teachers, or even awards for her TV show. She tried not to blush too much, and picked up her cup, taking a long sip. It actually was pretty good tea!

“So. What shall be the consequences for our errors?” Tsu asked, setting her cup down, her expression utterly flat.

“There will be consequences,” their mother said, and Ami’s heart lurched. “But none meted out by me. All actions have consequences, and those of the paths my daughters have taken may prove quite severe.”

For long moments, their mother gazed up at the sky. “I have given much thought to my meeting with Barbatos. And what the consequences of it shall be.”

“Are you, um…mad that I said I killed him?” Ami asked timidly, trying to meet her mother’s gaze but mostly staring down at the table between them.

A small smile twitched at the corner of her mother’s lips. “To be fair, I too attempted to kill Barbatos upon our first meeting. It was only Makoto’s intervention that spared him from the Musou no Hitotachi.”

“He is… uniquely infuriating,” Tsu said after a moment to digest that fact. “But that is not a memory you bequeathed me.”

“No. I limited the memories I gave you to the bare minimum. I have learned from the failures of my last two kagemushu,” Mother said with a shake of her head. “You must grow and develop as your own person. Attempting to remake Makoto again would be… unwise.”

“I see,” Tsukuyomi said, and bowed her head. “I yield to your wisdom in this matter.”

“That is not to say that there are not things that in light of recent events, I must tell you,” their mother said, her gaze resting heavily on both her daughters. “You know I come from another world.”

“Teyvat,” Ami agreed eagerly. “Are you going to tell us more about it?!”

“Some,” her mother agreed, drawing the word out slowly. “I still do not know what qualifies as Forbidden Knowledge, or what the Dictates of the Heavenly Principles of this Realm are. Only that violating them would spell disaster, and ensure the destruction of Japan and all her people.”

Her throat suddenly felt thick and raw, and Ami swallowed. “Can’t… can’t you beat the bad guys? Even… even if it’s…”

“No. There are some foes even I cannot face alone. That is why I chose you to be my daughters.”

Ami gasped, and even Tsu shifted slightly. “You mean, you want us to fight Sc-”

“Do not speak His name,” the Raiden Shogun snapped, and this time, thunder did crackle around them. “Not even here. Do not even consider fighting him. Not yet.”

Waiting until both Ami and Tsu nodded, Raiden relaxed slightly. “But yes. Not alone, however. That would be suicide.”

“What of Barbatos? He is not of Eternity, but if he is as powerful as you claim…” Tsu asked, her own eyes flashing, this time in eagerness Ami thought.

“Barbatos is cunning and strong. But no. Not even with his aid,” their mother said with a gesture of negation. “But that brings us to the tale I have summoned you here to share.”

Holding her breath, Ami leaned forward, and she noticed that even Tsu was gripping her cup of tea tightly and leaning toward their mother.

“What I have to say is for the ears of no other. Not even Mushu,” their mother said sternly, and both girls quickly nodded. Taking a deep breath, Ei peered into her cup of tea. “I tell you now of the Seven Archons of Teyvat. And, perhaps, if my guess is correct… a path to victory, even over the Heavenly Principles.”

As Ami listened, her eyes growing ever wide as her mother explained just a bit of her past, and by extension, the future, she couldn’t help but grin. Tsukuyomi was serious the entire time, though she did look touched when their mother spoke more of her sister, the original Electro Archon. It was a distinctly domestic moment and one that Ami would treasure for the rest of her long life.

Though it was but the Eye of the Storm, as outside, Japan shuddered in the midst of a great storm. And this time, the blade of the Raiden Shogun would not be able to quell it.

“-and finally, I am appointing a task force to look into the various war crimes committed during Hirohito’s reign. We will need to assess which countries are owed an apology, to what degree, and what sort of reparations would be appropriate.”

Nakamura had no sooner spoken those words than a loud slam resounded throughout the room, and he glared at the red-faced minister who had been overcome. The man was not young, with gray hair going from gray to white, liver spots on his skin, sagging jowls, and as Nakamura knew, five grandchildren.

“You dishonor your ancestors, Lord Nakamura! How can we even consider such a thing!”

“Because the Raiden Shogun has ordered it. You need no other reason,” Nakamura said firmly, locking eyes with the old man.

Old man. Hashigumi was only four years older than Nakamura was. But his back was still straight, and there was pride in his eyes. Don’t do this, Toyo. Don’t make me shame you more than you already have been.

“Then you explain to her that this is wrong!” Hashigumi demanded, now behaving with stern dignity after his outburst. “Help her to understand that her actions dishonor our nation, our people! Or do you forget your elder brother? For I have not forgotten my father, or my brothers.”

That sent a pang through Nakamura’s heart. His older brother, Masao, had died in Manchuria close to the start of the war. His father had survived and indeed had become rich through his willingness to work with the Americans. But Hashigumi’s two older brothers had died in the Philippines and Iwo Jima, and his father had died in the firebombing of Tokyo. Looking around the room, especially at the older faces, Nakamura even saw those a decade older than he was who had fought in that war.

“Look at these men. Would you dishonor them? Or would you betray your country again, former Prime Minister?”

Slowly, Nakamura’s head turned, and he faced Ishihara. He might have known. The man’s face was cold, and his eyes smoldered with rage. He was a brilliant administrator though, and he had been enthusiastic in his support of Raiden up until now.

“I have never betrayed Japan, or her people,” Nakamura said, his tone soft, but dangerous. “I serve the Raiden Shogun. Have you all forgotten? Or are you so full of pride, that you cannot see past your own egos?”

He looked around the room, and some expressions softened. But not all.

“I will be eternally grateful to the Raiden Shogun for saving Japan in our hour of need. I was on Kyushu when the attack came, as you will recall,” Hashigumi said, his expression blank. “But while I will serve the Shogun, I will not dishonor my ancestors.”

“Our ancestors dishonored themselves. My brother…” Nakamura took a deep breath. This came from a place of deep pain and shame, but it needed to be said. “My brother Masao Nakamura… saved face by dying early in the war. I pray that he was not one of those who shamed himself, and shamed Japan, by committing the atrocities that are so sickening that we as a nation to this day have pretended did not happen. No more!”

Nakamura drew his short tanto. He placed it on his palm, and cut a short gash, wincing at the pain. He was old, and weak in so many ways. But he had to be strong for this. He made a fist, and dribbled a bit of blood onto the table as the others watched in horror. “I will bleed for Japan. I have bled for Japan! But I will not lie for Japan. I will not dishonor myself and my country, or my brother and all my ancestors, by pretending that they did not commit acts of evil! The Raiden Shogun herself recognizes that we dishonored ourselves! The only way to save face is to not turn our faces away from our shame! We must turn towards our shame, and make amends. This is true Eternity!”

As he said the words, words he had practiced, and felt the throb of his hand as the blood dribbled out, Nakamura realized something: He believed. He wasn’t just saying these words because he was Raiden’s puppet, wasn’t simply carrying out her orders to save himself and his position. In his heart of hearts, his very soul, Nakamura believed that Raiden Ei was the god of Japan. And that he would do his utmost to bring about her Eternity.

“If you cannot join me in this, I will accept your resignations in the morning. Go home now, and meditate on this. Pray to the Raiden Shogun to grant us courage to face the past, and to step forward into the future.”

The other ministers stood and bowed, Hashigumi holding his longer than the others. When he stood at last, even as most of the officials were already at the door, he met Nakamura’s eyes. “It has been a pleasure and an honor serving with you, Lord Nakamura. I know you have always done what you believe is best for Japan.”

“Toyo,” Nakamura began, half rising.

“Do not worry,” Hashigumi said, turning away. “I will not dishonor you, or the Raiden Shogun.”

Fear gripped Nakamura’s heart, and he almost spoke. But he let his old friend go.

The next morning, they found his body and suicide note. It was far from the only one. From the high to the low, an epidemic of suicides spread, including many veterans who, despite Raiden’s decree to the contrary, committed suicide as a form of apology.

At the funeral, Nakamura found himself standing by Ishihara.

“It was you that killed him. You, and Raiden,” Ishihara said, his tone calm, but his eyes shining with hatred and rage.

“He killed himself. Raiden said herself that she opposes suicide and that she alone would atone for the sins of our people. He was a stubborn and proud old man, who could not change,” Nakamura growled, and he wished that it had been Ishihara who had killed himself instead.

“You have utterly lost your way. Someone must save this nation,” Ishihara snapped, and then he moved away, leaving Nakamura to grind his teeth, bowing his head in contrition.

It was his fault. If he had coached Raiden better, had softened the blow somehow… maybe Toyo Hashigumi would have still been alive. He wept bitter tears and mourned the death of the past. However, when he departed the funeral, he turned East, towards where the sun would rise the next day. And rise it would. Japan would come out of this, stronger than ever. But for now, this hour felt darker than even the moments before Raiden had appeared.

“Where are you, my Lady?” Nakamura, gazing up at the empty sky, the stars themselves blotted out by the lights of Tokyo. In the blackness, he found no answers.

Laying back on their giant bed, Mushu held Keiga close, stroking her hair with one hand, the other resting on her still-flat stomach. He half fancied he could feel the baby, but the doctors said that was unlikely as Keiga was only eight weeks pregnant at this point. For her part, she was snuggled up close to him, her face pressed into the side of his chest, her legs wrapped around his, her eyes closed.

“Feeling alright?” he asked gently. She’d been up the night before sick again. Supposedly it wasn’t unusual, but it was still a bit frightening to have her be so ill so often.

“‘M’ fine,” she mumbled into his chest.

Mushu shifted in bed, but Keiga clung to him tightly. He glanced over at the curtains, the faint glow of the morning light filtering in. He had a great deal of work today, he did every day, but he could afford to spend a few more minutes in bed with his future wife.

Future wife. Future child. It still made him dizzy. He’d had to talk to Keiga’s parents, something she rarely did as they had heartily disapproved of their daughter becoming a Sentai. Her marrying a fellow cape would have left a bad taste in their mouths, if Mushu hadn’t been Raiden’s right hand. In contrast, Kenta’s mother had been ecstatic and had been pressuring Mushu to marry Keiga almost since their first date.

After a few more minutes (and with his arm growing increasingly numb with Keiga lying atop it) Mushu shifted again, but Keiga only wrapped herself more tightly about him, which stirred something in Mushu. He rolled over to put  himself atop her, but she put an arm on his chest, not meeting his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his heart pounding with sudden worry. Was she having second thoughts?

“Did… did we really do… what Raiden says?” Keiga asked softly. “I mean… did Japan… I know you’re half Japanese, and I don’t normally care, but… you’re half Chinese too.”

Anger stirred in Mushu, and he sank back onto his side, staring at Keiga as she turned away, curling up into a ball. “Yes. The Rape of Nanking is just the most famous one. I didn’t study much in school, but I know about the Sook Ching Massacre in Singapore, the Bataan Death March, and so many more. It was disgusting and vile. Raiden was right to apologize. The only problem was it took too fucking long.”

Keiga made a soft sound, and Kenta realized she was crying. His first reaction was fury, to walk further down the easy course his anger charted for him. But he stopped, took a breath, and thought. That wasn’t the way to Eternity. Or how to treat the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. So he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Why do you weep?”

She flinched away, but slowly rolled back over to face him, tears staining her cheeks. “Do you…do you hate me?”

“What?” the anger washed away, and Kenta cupped her face in his hands, drawing her closer to him. “How could you ask that? I love you, Chiyo Wang.”

She hiccuped at that, and let him pull her into a hug. “I just… I never thought… we weren’t taught about this. We were taught… that it was the Americans. That we were punished with nuclear bombs, and that war is evil. I… I heard about horrible things we did, but, I didn’t think, didn’t know…”

Kenta kissed the top of Keiga’s head. “It wasn’t your fault, Keiga.”

“But it was my grandfather's!” Keiga wailed. “I remember… remember Grandpa Keiji talking about his time in the war, but only rarely, and when he didn’t think I could hear… Did… did he…?”

“I don’t know. And I don’t care,” Kenta lied. It did hurt, a little, though he had never really considered himself Chinese, he’d at least learned about the evils Japan had done to justify his hatred of so many Japanese for treating him and his mother like second-class citizens. “I fell in love with you, not your grandfather.”

She nodded, pressing her face against his chest. He could feel the snot and tears, but he didn’t say anything, just holding her tightly. After a few minutes, she managed to pull away, and Kenta handed her a tissue from the nightstand to clean her face. “I… I’m sorry. I hope… I hope Raiden does apologize. That we do make the War Reparations like Lord Nakamura has said. I just…”

“What? You’ve been weepy all night,” Kenta asked quietly.

She bit her lip. “Grandfather Keiji… my mother won’t say it, but he died yesterday. I think… maybe it was suicide. He was old though, eighty-seven. I think… hearing the Shogun say that what Japan had done was evil… it broke his heart. And I’m not… I’m mad at him. I’ll miss him but… how could he!? How could… how could we do such horrible things?”

Thinking back to his days in the Yakuza, Kenta was quiet. At last, he said, “You know I’ve killed people.”

Keiga met his eyes, confusion on her face. “We both have. I was standing next to you when we executed those monsters on Raiden’s orders back in Matsuyama. And that wasn’t the first time I’d killed someone anyway.”

“You know I was a gangster. A yakuza,” Kenta said quietly, his turn to look away in shame. “I killed… well. Mostly rival gangsters. But sometimes… I killed a man for abusing one of my girls. One I was… pimping. Broke his legs, tied him up, dropped him in a sack into the bay. Other things.”

The man had really been killed because he owed Kenta’s boss a large gambling debt, but he’d been more than happy to torture the bastard and then dump him into the ocean. There had been plenty of other horrible acts that he’d perpetrated. Pushing drugs. Rape. Murder of rivals. He’d been a horrible person before he’d met Raiden.

Keiga shifted. “Yes. But that’s in the past. I don’t hold it against you. Like Raiden said: you faced the Lightning’s Glow, and were reborn.”

“And I don’t hold the sins of past Japan against you, or current Japan,” Kenta said gently, wiping away the tears from Keiga’s face, then kissing her tenderly. “We need to make reparations. To move forward. So that the past no longer binds us.”

Slowly, she nodded, then pulled him atop her, opening herself up to him. They didn’t speak as they clung to one another and reconciled, but all the pain and emotion came out in frantic lovemaking. They ended up not getting out of bed until nearly noon, but when they did, they left something behind them. Hand in hand, they walked forward to face Eternity together.

Kneeling with the rest of the Shuumatsuban, Sayu stifled a yawn. This was way, way past her bedtime. How was she ever supposed to get taller if she couldn’t get her rest? Clearly, a change in leadership was needed.

“Speaking of, where’s the old man?” Sayu whispered to Ryu.

The big ninja didn’t stir from his position of supplication. “Wait. You must learn patience, young one.”

Rolling her eyes, Sayu tried to keep still, really, but she was stiff and tired. “This is child abuse.”

“This is discipline. Now be silent.”

Thankfully, after only a few more moments of torture, something finally happened. First, there was a rush of wind overhead, and a dark shape swooped down from above, then a giant raven alighted upon the stage, before transforming with a crackle of electro into Tengu. She was such a drama queen. She could have just walked in like a normal person.

“Shuumatsuban!” Tengu barked, and Sayu noticed the normally goofy ninja was dressed in a new outfit. Instead of black, she wore a white robe over a black body glove, and a red tengu mask dangling from a cord around her neck. She withdrew, of all things, a rolled scroll of rice paper. “We have failed the NaruKami Oshogu! We followed the orders of a traitor, one who violated the dictates of Eternity! For his crimes, the man formerly known as Lord Kenichi has been banished to Hokkaido!”

“Huh?” Sayu looked up, startled, and she was far from the only one. Was this because they failed to kill the Anemo Archon? But Princess Ami had fought the Anemo Archon, before her mother made peace. The Shuumatsuban would, of course, have fought the Anemo Archon, and Tengu had, but Sayu had been in America, saving people. “That’s bullshit!”

“Tanuki!” Ryu hissed, turning a glare on Sayu, before prostrating himself, along with most of the other Shuumatsuban.

“We humbly offer our apologies to the Almighty God of Thunder, the Raiden Shogun!” Kokusho cried.

“Your pleas are heard. For though you falsely waged war on the God of Freedom and betrayed Eternity, the merciful God of Eternity will spare your lives,” Tengu declared.

There was a crash of lightning, and a purple bolt of thunder fell down from above in a blinding flash, resolving itself into a dark-haired woman with glowing purple eyes. She was dressed in a non-traditional short kimono, one that looked a lot like Raiden’s, actually. The main difference was this woman’s hair was shorter, but her features were more angular and younger looking, and her garb was dark gray and black with purple highlights.

“You have been led astray,” the woman declared, even as Tengu stepped aside and bowed to her. “Kenichi was blinded by his lust for power. You are but a blade, and a blade is no more to blame for striking falsely than a stone is for rolling down the mountain.”

“Look lady, I know that just following orders isn’t a defense and all, but we kicked ass!” Sayu snapped, putting her hands on her hips and glaring, even as Ryu looked up at her in horror and the rest of the ninjas abased themselves. “We did good stuff! Senpai and my team saved some PRT soldiers and liberated a town from a crazy guy! Daichi’s team killed a warlord in Africa and liberated tons of people! And, uh, well it’s sort of unfortunate what happened to that Tinker in the Pampas, but we can’t get ‘em all right! But like, he was still kind of a jerk.”

“Do you know who this is?” Tengu hissed, stepping forward to glare at Sayu. “The rest of your brethren kneel in supplication before-”

“No, I don’t know who that is, and for your information, where I grew up, we don’t just kneel to people because someone tells us to, so there!” Sayu huffed. “So before you come in and start chewing us out for no reason, maybe start with an icebreaker or something!”

“Your Highness, please forgive my pupil,” Kokusho said, rising slightly to glare at Sayu even as Ryu tried to drag her down. “She is uncouth, and was born in America. She is Japanese, but-”

“Let her approach us,” the woman said, a faint smile on her lips. “I wish to speak with the lone member of the Shuumatsuban who would stand up to the Dictates of Eternity.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sayu grumbled, slapping away Ryu’s hand. Despite the fact he was like ten times as heavy as her, his powers made him an empath, and he was classified as a Thinker by the PRT system. Sayu on the other hand was super awesome and had a Vision, which was telling her right now that this was completely stupid. She used a gust of wind to jump extra high over the kneeling forms of the ninjas around her, landing atop the stage and glaring up at the woman.

“So, who are you, anyway?”

“You have not been paying attention. This is the Kage no Hime, the recently revealed elder daughter of the Raiden Shogun,” Tengu hissed, glaring down at Sayu.

She blinked, and studied the other woman. She did look like a teenage version of Raiden, with that same serene expression, dark purple hair, and incredible aura of power.

“Well, I didn’t vote for her,” Sayu muttered. There had been something about that on the news, but Sayu had been too busy trying to catch up on her sleep and schoolwork to really pay attention. Plus, everyone had been yelling about Japanese War Crimes and stuff, and she’d pointed out that yes, Japan really had done all that stuff, and now most of her friends at school weren’t talking to her and calling her a gaijin despite the fact that both her parents were fully Japanese. It wasn’t Sayu’s fault she’d been born in Seattle!

“One does not vote for a princess,” Himo no Kage said. Wait, no, Kage no Himi. Drat. Sayu really should have paid more attention when her parents were trying to teach her Japanese. “I am Tsukoyomi. I see you bear the mark of the Anemo Archon.”

“Yep!” Sayu puffed out her admittedly unimpressive chest and felt a slight pang of jealousy as looked up at Tsukuyomi. The princess wasn’t quite as stacked as Raiden was, but she was still both a lot taller and more well-developed than Sayu. Well, she was only 12, so Sayu had plenty of time to grow yet! She wouldn’t stay 4’6” forever! Or whatever that was in centimeters.

She very carefully didn’t think about the fact that her mother was five foot nothing with heels on.

“I’m super awesome! Big Sis Akemi led us to an incredible victory over the forces of Evil! You should be giving us an award and a vacation instead of a chewing-out. Positive reinforcement! It totally works better than yelling at people, trust me. We should all just take a nap, we’ll feel better in the morning.”

“I see.” Tsukuyomi regarded Sayu for a long moment, then turned away. “Kokusho, collect your pupil. See to her discipline.”

“Huh?” Black arms grabbed Sayu, and multiple shadow clones yanked her down off the stage, forcing her into a kneeling position.

“You have erred, and gone against the precepts of Eternity. As the Princess of Shadows, I shall ensure that from now on, the Shuumatsuban properly follows the path of Eternity, and eliminates all obstacles that would oppose the will of my Divine mother.”

Tears sprang into Sayu’s eyes as Tsukuyomi laid out how the Shuumatsuban, in general, would be punished for their laxity, and how she would reform the organization. It wasn’t right! Sayu had stood up for her beliefs, but instead of being rewarded, she was being punished! Life just wasn’t fair.

After the speech, the Shuumatsuban were dismissed, but instead of finally getting to take a nap, a furious Kokusho informed Sayu they would be doing an all-night training session. “First you are continually slothful, now you do not know how to work in silence! You are forbidden from speaking for three days, and you will not rest this night!”

“But I have school-”

“I SAID YOU ARE FORBIDDEN FROM SPEAKING!” Kokusho snapped, and the flat of a shadowy blade struck Sayu’s shoulders, making her wince in pain. “You will learn discipline. You may be Japanese, but your time in America has made you disrespectful and soft. I will train this out of you. I knew taking on one who held an Anemo Vision would be a trial, but I will not suffer insubordination!”

It was a full night of exercise and patrols, and Sayu wasn’t allowed to speak once. Ryu, who was normally sympathetic towards her plight, having a younger sister Sayu’s age, gave her cold stares and told her she deserved her fate.

She didn’t even get to skip school, and Sayu dragged herself, exhausted, into class, her hair disheveled, her body drained. When she tried to sleep, her teacher actually rapped her knuckles with a ruler! She tried to hold back the tears and wished she was back with Tiffany and Lauren back in Seattle. Japan sucked.

At the end of the day, totally drained of energy, Sayu wanted to find a corner to curl up in and take a nap, but instead, she was dragged to the principal's office.

“Young lady, sit up straight!” Her teacher told her as they waited outside. “You have been given a great honor!”

I’d feel more honored if someone would let me get some sleep, Sayu mentally groaned, her eyelids feeling like they weighed a thousand pounds.

“And I suggest you quit pouting, and speak when you are asked a question!” her teacher added, frowning. Sayu had, of course, not said a single thing the entire day. Kokusho would know, and she didn’t need another all-nighter of training and a beating to go with it.

She slumped into the principal's office, where he stood up, beaming at her. “Sayu Nana, you have been honored!” Mr. Matsamura declared, hurrying around his desk. Her ‘parents’ were there, which meant Kokusho and Ryu were standing and watching Sayu. There was someone else in the room, and for a long moment, Sayu’s exhausted brain was too tired to figure out who.

“Oh, it’s you. What now, come to yell at me again?” Sayu blurted before she could stop herself. Thankfully, she said it in English, so she was pretty sure no one else understood it.

Tsukuyomi didn’t respond at all, merely standing there quietly, dressed in a lighter and longer hemmed kimono.

“You are being transferred to the Tokyo Imperial Academy!” Principal Matsamura burbled excitedly. “It is a great honor for such an esteemed guest to travel all the way from Tokyo to visit us! Her Imperial Highness herself! We are honored to-”

Sayu was too tired to pay attention. The endless droning of the adults was putting her to sleep, and she slumped where she stood, almost nodding off upright. She glanced at Kokusho, wincing as she realized she’d spoken. That would be another horrible night. She was already so sore…she healed of course, but that didn’t mean that getting beaten up in the course of training didn’t still hurt.

“I think Miss Nana is overcome,” Tsukuyomi suddenly interrupted. “Come. You will ride with me back to Tokyo. A car is waiting.”

Blinking, Sayu nodded. Tokyo? Right. She was transferring schools. Why? She’d already transferred twice since moving to Japan! Great. Now she had to start over with making friends again… she was going to be alone forever.

To her surprise, Kokusho and Ryu bowed to Tsukuyomi, then left them when they got down to the ground floor. They got into a limo, but they drove off, leaving Tsukuyomi and Sayu standing alone in the parking lot.

“Wait, do we have to walk?” Sayu moaned. “I’m too exhausted… Please, I’m sorry I mouthed off to you or whatever. I get it, I was wrong. I’ll be a good little brainless minion from now on, if you just let me sleep!”

“If you are so easily broken, perhaps I made an error in selecting you,” Tsukuyomi said, regarding Sayu with that same dumb look on her face.

“Broken!? Lady, I have been up for two days straight!” Sayu burst out, and on reflex summoned her claymore to her, leaning on it for support. “If I thought I could run away or fight you, I would! But you people would just haul me back! My stupid parents have already given me up to be a child soldier! Well, I’m not gonna take it anymore! You give me one more dumb order to assassinate someone because they looked at Raiden funny, and I quit! I signed up to be a hero like Princess Ami, not to be a bad guy! And yeah, maybe we didn’t follow your stupid orders in Ellisburg, but dammit we did the right thing! And I’ll always do the right thing and be a good guy, so you can just kill me now or whatever! Maybe then I’d actually get some sleep!”

When she wound down, Sayu stood there, hands clenched around her sword’s hilt, breathing hard, staring up at Tsukuyomi, eyes slightly wild, her Vision glowing brightly. She half expected another beating, but instead, Tsukuyomi nodded.

“I have selected wisely, then. Come.”

And then she cut a hole in the air with her sword. Sayu blinked, then shrugged and stepped after the princess, too tired to really care.

“These will be your quarters,” Tsukoyomi stated. “Your things have already been brought over.”

That did appear to be the case, with Sayu’s postersof Green Day and Linkin Park on the wall, as well as her manga collection on a bookshelf. She didn’t care that much though, because there was a bed. A glorious, wonderful bed.

“You shall be my personal agent. Alone of the Shuumatsuban, you were willing to defy me, and stand up for what you believed to be the true path of Eternity. As such, you shall serve under Tengu, and work for the Imperial Family.”

“Super,” Sayu mumbled, her eyes still fixed longingly on her bed. Her hand relaxed, and her sword vanished back into her Vision.

“We shall see to it that you learn discipline, but for now, you appear weary. I have learned much of the needs of adolescent humans. You are but a few years older than my sister. You may meet her in the morning. For now, you may take the evening to rest and acquaint yourself with your new position.”

Then Tsukuyomi left. Sayu didn’t even bother trying to figure out what was going on. Staggering over, she fell onto the bed, and was out before her head hit the pillow.

It was only later that she would come to realize that she’d just been promoted. And that with promotions came a bigger workload, and by extension, less time for sleeping.

Being a teenage ninja was a lot harder than Sayu had thought it would be.

Dark Legend of Potter Chapter 56

Chapter 3.04: I Smell a Rat

To say that the rest of the summer passed without incident would be a vast understatement. The trip to Diagon Alley alone (and subsequent tea party with a lich) would have turned heads with ease, but the only real incident worth mentioning wasn’t even Megumin’s fault. Directly, anyway.

“Mum, have you seen Scabbers?” Ron called, wandering into the kitchen with a blithe expression on his face and an empty rat cage in one hand.

The current state of affairs in the Burrow could best be described as “barely contained madness,” as it always was on September 1st. Well, actually, to be fair, it was like that all through the summer holidays, and winter holidays, and basically any time that the ravening horde known as the Weasley Brood was in residence.

His mother looked up from trying to finish cooking breakfast for seven while her home was being turned upside down in the quest for all sorts of lost and misplaced things. All of which should have been packed away days ago but were only now being looked for, and Mrs. Weasley had bloody well had enough.

“No, Ronald, I haven’t seen your rat, but if it’s here tomorrow I’m feeding him to Errol!”

“Hey mum, have you seen my-” Ginny began, poking her head into the kitchen.

“I HAVEN’T SEEN ANYTHING! I TOLD YOU LOT TO SORT THIS OUT LAST WEEK, TWO DAYS AGO, AND LAST NIGHT, AND NOW WE’RE GOING TO BE LATE AND MORGANA HELP ME I AM NOT THIS FAMILY’S LOST AND FOUND, ASK YOUR FATHER!”

“Sorry,” Ron and Ginny muttered. Ron turned to Ginny. “Right, what are you after then?”

“My jumper, not the Christmas one, the nice green one I made Kazuma buy me.”

The mention of that jumper made Ron scowl, as he had most assuredly not forgiven Kazuma for what he still considered to be the mis-sorting of his sister, despite the fact that she was the most Slytherin person to be sorted since, well, Kazuma. But not counting him you had to go pretty far back to Yolanda Pivvings in 1975.

“I’ll keep an eye out for it if you do the same for Scabbers,” Ron begrudgingly offered.

“Ugh, why do you even want to take that ugly old rat? Just leave him, if you’re lucky he’s probably dead.”

“Scabbers is my familiar, and I’m bloody well taking him to school. He’s not dead, he’s just frightened by the row,” Ron snapped.

Just then Arthur walked in, absently holding the paper in his hands, his glasses on his forehead. “Molly, have you see my-”

The scream of pure frustration and rage had father and children both scrambling for the nearest exit. They really should have known better than to bother Molly before she even had a chance to have her morning cuppa, which as was tradition on September the 1st would have a generous shot of brandy in it. Or, as was the case this day, would potentially be skipped for a hot toddy.

“I don’t suppose you’ve seen my rat?” Ron said sheepishly as they stood outside the back door.

“Afraid I haven’t,” Arthur said with a shake of his head. “Don’t ask your mother, she’s a bit stressed. Probably because Fred’s…or was it George’s? Anyway, probably because of the tarantula she found in her sock drawer this morning.”

Ron paled but nodded. “We noticed.”

“Hmm, yes,” Arthur said, already imagining the peace and quiet that he would be enjoying once his children had left. Wonderful things, boarding schools. He blinked owlishly in the sunlight, frowning again. “Have you seen my glasses?”

Ron and Ginny both pointed to their foreheads, and Arthur’s hand wandered up, a slow grin spreading on his face. “Right, first place I should have looked. Well, you make sure you’re ready to go at 9 o’clock sharp, and I’ll see to helping your mother get breakfast ready.”

Ron began to wander around the Burrow’s grounds, checking the various outbuildings and in the garden for any nests that Scabbers might have found. The rat could usually be counted on to be sunning himself somewhere cozy and comfortable, as all he really did was sleep most days.

This day, however, a pair of beady eyes was watching Ron as he paced back and forth. Currently, Scabbers was hiding in a nest he’d secreted away under an old tree stump. He closed his eyes, and said a silent prayer to the gods he very much hoped were not paying attention that the idiot boy wouldn’t remember something as simple as a Point Me charm.

Scrambling back inside the burrow, Scabbers made his way down several levels to the lowest floor, and looked around with pride. He’d been building this place for a decade now and had redoubled his efforts when he’d heard the dreadful news that Sirius Black had come back from wherever he’d been hiding. The burrow was stocked with several easily nibbled open bags of food, some fresh produce Scabbers had dragged inside, and a bit of upholstery the rat had secreted away as a bed.

Laying back down, Scabbers reached for the nearest bag, his four fingered paw patting the dry ground. He had enough supplies for years. He just had to last long enough for Black and Lupin to get bored and go away again. Then things could go back to-

Instead of the smooth crinkly surface of plastic, Scabbers felt something warm and furry. He froze, and slowly turned his head.

Please be another rat, please be another rat…

“Hello,” a soft voice purred, as amber eyes glowed in the Darkness. “Ready for school?”

Squeaking in panic, Scabbers tried frantically to scurry away, only for a paw to clamp down on his tail. He turned about, snarling and baring his fangs, ready to fight. His opponent was small, not much bigger than he, and if he were going to go down, he’d go down swinging!

The fight went out of him when a jet of flames blasted over his head, scorching his ears and causing several of his plastic bags to shrivel and emit a putrid stink that made Scabbers’ head hurt.

“Do you truly wish to fight me, mortal? I am more prone to Sloth than Violence, but it is one of my domains,” Chomusuke drawled, examining the gleaming claws on her free paw. She turned back to Scabbers and grinned, her mouth showing off more teeth than should have fit in the mouths of several, much larger cats, all of them needle-sharp. “No? Wise of you.”

Collapsing to the ground, Scabbers let out a pitiful squeak, tears filling his little black eyes.

“Tsk. Don’t cry, don’t cry,” Chomusuke purred, retracting her claws and gently petting Scabbers on the head. She leaned down close to his ear. “Besides, It will all be over soon.”

Still weeping, Scabbers let himself be picked up in the jaws of the little cat and was bodily dragged out of his nest.

A short time later, Ron turned around to see a little demonic cat wagging her tail, her wings folded against her back, a limp rat in her jaws. “Chomusuke!? What are you doing here? Did Megumin forget you last week? And what have you done to Scabbers?!”

Hastily kneeling, Ron prepared himself to have to play tug of war for his rat’s dead body, but Chomusuke neatly set the rat in Ron’s hands. As soon as she did so, Scabbers was revived, biting at Ron’s fingers and desperately trying to make a break for it.

“Ow! You stupid rat, I just saved you!” In disgust, Ron threw Scabbers into his cage, where the little rat actually stood up and shook the metal bars frantically.

“What’s gotten into you, boy? Don’t you like going to Hogwarts?” Ron asked, sticking his bloody finger into his mouth and sucking on it.

Scabbers just started to gnaw on the bars, only for Chomusuke to come up and sit by the cage entrance, watching the rat, tail swishing back and forth. Scabbers instantly froze, then ran to the opposite side of the cage, pressing himself up against the bars to get as far away from the kitten as possible.

“Here now, leave off,” Ron said, and picked up the cage. Then he sighed and scooped up Chomusuke in the other arm. “I’ll have to find somewhere to keep you as well, Megumin would be cross if she were missing her familiar.”

Chomusuke purred in amusement, and Ron thought he could almost make out words.

Oh yes, she would be terribly disappointed if she did not have you to play with, Ronald Weasley.

“You know, I almost think you’re not really a cat at all,” Ron muttered as he headed back inside for breakfast. “Oh well, best get ready, we’re leaving right at 9.”

Of course, nothing ever happened on time in the Burrow, but they did manage to leave by half past ten.

When the Weasley brood arrived at Platform 9 ¾, the all split off into their respective factions: Fred and George went to their friends on the Quidditch Team, Ron fell in with Megumin to return her ‘cat’ to her sleeping owner, Ginny collected her minions, and Percy went to go show off his Head Boy badge to as many people as possible.

“So that is where you have been, Chomusuke,” Megumin said, accepting the cat-demon from Ron. “I was beginning to wonder where she had gotten off to.”

“Weren’t you worried about her?” Ron asked. “I was worried sick about poor Scabbers. Thought Chomusuke would eat him for sure.”

“Unlike rats, cats are wise and mysterious creatures with incredible dark powers,” Megumin sniffed. “Besides, she sometimes disappears for days and a time, but she always comes back. Haven’t you noticed?”

“Well, I keep track of Scabbers. He’s my pet. Your cat can do whatever it wants,” Ron huffed. He looked around the busy platform, frowning. “Where’s Hermione and Darkness? I thought I was late.”

“They are already on the train. I elected to wait for you, in case we had to enact a daring rescue operation to prevent you from being left behind. The Crimson Demon Clan abandons no one!” Megumin declared.

“Right. Any more attacks by Sirus Black?” Ron asked, looking around. “I don’t see any smoking craters, so I assume he’s been leaving well enough alone.”

Striking a pose, Megumin grinned, brandishing Chunchumaru like a sword. “Ha! Indeed, for if the fool ventures too close, I shall smite him most thoroughly!”

“Maybe he’s just waiting for you to leave your house,” Ron mused, rubbing his chin. “You reckon we should build any traps like that? We could get Yunyun to help, or ask your uncle.”

“Absolutely not. My job is going to be hard enough as it is,” a man in a trenchcoat nearby said, shooting Ron a glare. “I thought she was the bloody menace coming up with the insane plans. I expect better out of you, Ronald.”

Despite the strange appearance, Ron recognized the voice, and leaned forward, his brow furrowing as he studied the apparent stranger. “Tonks?”

“Wotcher,” she agreed. “It’s my job to keep Black from killing you idiots, though honestly I think the hard part will be keeping Megumin from doing herself in.”

“Ha! I am far too experienced to ever fall victim to my own spells, and Black should fear my Explosion Magic!”

“Peoplewhonearlycollapsedtheschoolonourheadsaywhat,” Ron said with a sweet and innocent smile.

“What? Speak clearly, Ron! If you wish for your enemies to fear you, you have to enunciate! Come, let us locate our companions, that we might plot our defense!”

“Sure,” Ron agreed. He leaned in close to Tonks as they headed for the train. “I’ll try to keep her from killing herself, and an eye out for Black.”

“You do that,” Tonks agreed. “I’ve got my best agent on the case right now.”

Ron beamed, but Tonks frowned at him. “Not you! Blackie, here!”

There was a happy bark, and Sirius Black, I mean, Blackie the Dog, scrambled up onto the platform where he’d been searching the undercarriage for himself and generally enjoying the hilarity of the prank.

“Any signs of Death Eaters, boy?” Tonks inquired of the dog.

In response, Blackie thumped his tail on the ground and barked happily, then scratched himself with his hind paw.

“Not that I can see,” Lupin said, clambering up onto the platform. “Blackie doesn’t smell anything, but there’s a lot of smells here and strange people. This isn’t exactly ideal circumstances for a rescue dog to pick up one individual scent.”

“Scabbers? Scabbers, what’s wrong?” Ron said, as the rat was squeaking wildly and running about his cage in a panic. “Bloody hell, he’s been in a fit since Chomusuke found him and was playing with him.”

“Oh?” Lupin said, his expression suddenly cold. “Well, why don’t you let me have a look at him. I know some veterinary charms.”

“Thanks sir, I’ll be in the compartment with Megumin,” Ron said, handing Scabber’s cage to Lupin and hurrying off.

“I’d best go check on the sprogs,” Tonks said. She frowned, looking around the platform. “Damn, there’s too many people here. Merlin only knows where Black could be hiding.”

“He could be anywhere,” Lupin said, utterly deadpan as he gave the rat cage to Blackie for the dog to hold in his teeth. “Even right in front of you.”

“That’s what worries me,” Tonks sighed. She gave Lupin a smile. “I do have a private compartment at the rear of the train for us to share, though…”

“I’ll meet you there. Give me a few minutes with the rat, and I’ll send Black with him back to Megumin,” Lupin told her.

“Great! I’ll do a sweep and meet you there in a few minutes,” Tonks said. She paused, then frowned and turned back to Lupin. “Oh, and maybe call the dog Padfoot? Blackie’s too close to Black, someone might mix them up.”

Lupin nodded, and Tonks headed off. As soon as she was gone, Lupin headed right for their compartment, Black and the now nearly comatose Scabbers following behind him. Once they were inside, Lupin locked the compartment, cast several charms on it to muffle his words, and turned around.

Sirius had already transformed, and had set the cage on the seat across from himself. Lupin took his seat next to his friend, his expression grim. He leaned forward, and gave the panting rat a cold grin.

“Hello, Wormtail. I’m sure you’re wondering just what’s going on here.”

“I could kill him right now,” Sirius growled, his hands clenched into fists. “End it all. He’s stuck like that still, right? I could just grab him, and three shakes, bam. No one would even care. Dogs kill rats all the time.”

“That wasn’t what we promised.” Lupin leaned forward, a shadow fell over his face as he loomed over Scabbers, his cold grin still in place. “It’s like this, you see…”

“How’s about we play a little game?” Sirius asked, an equally eerie smile on his face.

As the two friends talked over the next few minutes, Scabbers would have wet himself, if his bowls had not already been thoroughly voided. At least he had a chance. And one way or another, that damn cat had been right.

After ten years of fear and torment, it would all be over soon. One way, or another.

Last Drop of Hope, Chapter 17

Looking out the viewport, Belzerg looked so very close. The planet had grown from a small brown and white dot to nearly filling the entire field of view. The toxic and polluted waters that had been the oceans could barely be made out under thick layers of suffocating clouds, and the endless wastelands and massive cityscapes could be seen, lights occasionally gleaming in the darkness of the night half of the planet.

Even so close, the planet was too far. The Faitifore was actually decelerating, despite being relentlessly chased by enemies. If they approached too quickly, they’d either shoot right past the planet or if they tried reentry, they’d burn to cinders in the atmosphere. Which meant they had less than an hour until the enemy reached them.

“Why haven’t they shot at us yet?” Dust muttered, staring at the display as sweat ran down his brow. Fully a dozen enemy attack craft were barreling right for them, and there was really nothing standing in their way. “We’re sitting ducks with all the acceleration we’re bleeding.”

“They want her,” Lan said, jerking her chin towards Alice as her hands gripped the yoke so hard her knuckles were turning white. Kazuma wondered if her hands had locked up by now.

The images of the tanks in the basement of ChimeraTech flashed through Kazuma’s head. “Well, they can’t have her!”

He turned to Alice, his mind racing. “Hey, could you teach me any other skills? Or any of us? I leveled up a bunch, surely there’s a way…or…something?”

Alice’s brow furrowed. “I suppose, but what skill would you have me teach?”

“One that could, I don’t know, hide the ship, or speed us up, or SOMETHING!” Kazuma said, scrubbing his hands through his hair.

“I…perhaps? An Adventurer can learn any skill, though their usage of it is impeded by their poor stats,” Alice said slowly. She pursed her lips and furrowed her brow. “I think…perhaps…no, Teleport would not work…”

“Teleport?” Kazuma asked, perking up. “That sounds perfect!”

She shook her head. “You would need to register a location, and it would not work with a moving vehicle. You do not register the vehicle, but where it is. Besides, to move to the planet with a Teleport, you would first need to be upon the planet to register it.”

“Ok, so Teleport is out, but there has to be, like, some sort of cloaking device, or something!” Kazuma said, holding up his Adventurer’s card. “I’ve got…15 points! That’s enough for something, right?”

“It is, but…” Alice took Kazuma’s card, frowning at it. “You have Basic Magic…hmmm…I suppose…there is Illusion Magic.”

“Illusion Magic?” Kazuma asked, and his mind started racing. “What’s the range?”

“Visual range. Once you create an illusion, it lasts a certain amount of time based upon the caster’s level and MP,” Alice explained. “You are level seven, so it would last seven minutes normally, though since you are an Adventurer it would last only half that time due to the penalty.”

“Right, right,” Kazuma rubbed his chin, then looked to Rin. “...but she’s a Mage. Does she have a level penalty?”

“No, of course not. And, since she is a mage, Rin could spend extra points to enhance her spells, something an Adventurer can’t do,” Alice said with a shake of her head.

“Uh, I have 10 points on my card,” Rin offered, holding hers up. “Does that help?”

Kazuma rubbed his hands together, a slow grin spreading over his face. “I think I have a plan.”

On the bridge of the NyteTech Highliner Black Horse, Captain Ital watched the display as the numbers slowly ticked down. His interceptors would soon be in range, and then it was only a matter of time. They had to take this smuggler alive, the CEO was willing to pay one hundred billion credits for the passengers. Even with that split amongst the other ships, that amount of money had Cap. Ital’s mouth drooling at the very thought. He’d walk away with at least a billion himself as the senior captain, which was ten times his current net worth. With that kind of money, he could do whatever he wanted.

As he watched, the fleeing smuggler suddenly made a dramatic course change, and for a brief instant, the display flickered slightly.

“What was that?” Cap. Ital asked his senior tech.

The dwarf woman shrugged. “They’re burning their engines hard. I had the sensors turned up to their highest sensitivity so we could register them. They’re damn hard to see, mostly we have them on visual tracking only, so the sudden burst of energy screwed with the equipment. We have them locked it. They might try to go dark after a moment to hide, but they won’t get away with that. I have them too solidly for that.”

Nodding, Ital watched, and sure enough, after just over three minutes of hard burn, the ship cut its engines, and faded from the screen. His tech snorted in derision and shook her head.

“As if I’m that green. Give me a moment.” She fiddled with the readout for a few moments nonchalantly, then suddenly frowned. She swore under her breath, then started a full scan. “Just a moment, they’re being tricksey. No need to panic, we had them fully locked on visuals, there’s nowhere they can go.”

But the seconds dragged into minutes, and sweat broke out on the tech's brows.

“Sir, incoming hail from Darkfallen. They’ve lost the target, and are requesting targeting updates from us,” his comms officer reported.

The Darkfallen was an older freighter, not an advanced highliner, and had sensors several generations older, so that wasn’t too surprising.

“Can we give them a fix?” Cap. Ital asked his tech, but she shook her head grimly.

“Tell them to network with us. Get all the other ships to network with us, we’ll do a hard scan,” the tech said. “Multiple angles. Nothing can hide from us with active scanners going, and we know the volume of space they’re in so we can saturate it.”

However, before that could happen, the target suddenly flickered back to life, showing the smuggler on live feed again. Cap. Ital relaxed, and his tech breathed a sigh of relief.

“Well, the fools tried to hide from us, but it seems their efforts were futile. Continue,” Ital drawled, leaning back in his chair and steepling his fingers. It was less than fifteen minutes to intercept now.

However, only two minutes later, his tech swore, and he looked at her sharply. “What is it?”

“We’re not getting a return!” she said, pointing at the on-screen view. “Not even the faint echoes I was before! They’re there on visuals, but…something’s wrong!”

“What!? How?” Ital demanded, coming over to frown at the view screen.

“It’s like it’s a hologram, a solid light projection, instead of an actual ship! But it’s got none of the usual indicators, and no one’s ever been able to get a hologram to work without it setting off LIDAR and RADAR because of the amount of energy needed to keep it working!”  She said, desperately working the panel.  “Plus, they’re moving too fast for a hologram to stay stable. Chameleon cloaks have the same problem. Sure, they’ll fool a visual, but you have to stay perfectly still or you can pick them out, even against a dark background, and they’re superimposed over the planet now which would make it basically impossible. Plus, to cover an entire ship in that much material…you couldn’t do it. It’d take a scratch from a micrometeor or something and be useless!”

“Find them! Get those interceptors out there!” Cap. Ital roared, and clenched his fists so hard his nails bit into his palm. This prize would not escape him.

A minute later, the ship flickered out of existence again, and Cap. Ital very nearly had his techs thrown out of the airlock.

With a groan, Kazuma collapsed, floating helplessly in midair, gasping for breath. “That’s it…I’m totally tapped…no mana left…”

Far away, the illusory Faitfore vanished in an instant and the drone’s view Kazuma had been watching returned to the plain blackness of space.

“They’re still off our ass!” Lan gasped, leaning back in her seat with a groan. “Rin, how are you holding up?”

“I’ve got two minutes left on this cast, then I’ll renew it,” Rin said, shaking her head with a sigh. “But I’m getting close to tapped out myself. I can do it maybe two, three more times, then I need a rest…”

“You did well, Big Bro,” Alice said, smiling and patting Kazuma’s hand. “Truly, I did not know such things were even possible with these miniature flying golems.”

“Well, we got away, for now,” Kazuma groaned, closing his eyes. “How much longer until we make planetfall?”

“Couple more hours, though we’re hardly home free then. War’s broken out on the ground too and ShopWiz is under attack by NyteTech. That’s gonna be fun to fly into,” Lan giggled nervously. She unstrapped herself, floating free and shaking her head. “I need to use the can. Alice, can you take over for me?”

“Yes, of course!” Alice agreed eagerly, and slid into the pilot’s seat, looking like an excited school-girl.

Smiling, Kazuma floated for a few more seconds, until someone took his arm. “Let’s get you to the rack for some shut-eye.”

His heart fluttered, and he opened his eyes to see Lolisa gently pushing him through the hatch and down the corridor. She smiled down at him, blushing faintly. “You did well, Kazuma. That was smart. Using not one illusion, but two? And a drone…I have never heard of such things being done, even in old Belzerg.”

“Yeah, well, when my hide is on the line, I tend to be creative,” Kazuma said, trying to be as casual as possible when he couldn’t really move and a beautiful woman was touching him. This wasn’t quite one of those VR scenarios, but…

Lolisa nodded. “I think it’s because you care so much about Alice. Even if you’re not blood siblings, I can tell you care a lot for her. I can…sense it. Your love for one another.”

“Wait, really? I know Succubi are supposed to be sensitive, but,” Kazuma blushed, thinking of the other things he’d heard about them.

“We’re empaths. The better to…never mind. Anyway…thank you.” They reached the bunks, and Lolisa helped Kazuma into one, then strapped him down so he wouldn’t float away. “You don’t have long, but sleep while you can. You should be able to regain enough MP to move with a power nap. I haven’t had a lie down in… well, a long time. But you’re right on the edge of it.”

“No goodnight kiss?” Kazuma teased, then immediately regretted it.

Lolisa blushed and looked away. “No. I’m afraid… that’s how we feed, and, um…no. I-I…I need to go. Goodnight!”

With a flap of her small wings, Lolisa took off, and Kazuma groaned, laying back and thumping his head against the bed in frustration. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Still, he was so exhausted, he drifted off in only minutes.

He dreamed of his family, of his sister. Sisters. Iris was there, was was Lia. So were his parents, and they all lived in the magical land of Japan, where the skies were blue, the water was clean, and there was plenty of food.

If only that could be true someday…

The air was stifling. Tina tried to swallow, but found her throat was too dry. She fumbled for her canteen at her belt, and took a few sips of precious water. She passed it over to Claire, who took a swig herself. Her partner looked weary and hollow-eyed despite their hours of rest, and she was far from the only one.

They were in a cramped, dark compartment, packed in with the other members of what remained of the NyteTech Axel Security forces. The air smelled of grease, sweat, and fear. Tina was hunched over in her armor, a shotgun in her lap, and the fire axe and shield strapped to her side, her body encased in heavy armor. Claire was pressed up next to her, but so was Chief Swatti. There was hardly room to move in the APC, though thankfully the ride was smooth thanks to the fact that it was a new hover model instead of a wheeled or tracked vehicle.

Currently, Swatti hand a thick finger pressed to her ear, which were flicking back and forth in irritation, her muzzle set in a grimace. There was a faint buzz that Tina could hear from the comm, though she couldn’t make out any words. She felt a pressure on her shoulder and saw that Claire was leaning on her, eyes closed in exhaustion. Perhaps it was physical, or emotional, but either way, her partner looked utterly exhausted.

Bending down, Tina lifted the visor of her helmet and tilted it back, resting her forehead against Claire’s. They set together for a few quiet moments, but then, the buzzing in Swatti’s ear ceased.

“Right, maggots! Listen up! Our job is to secure the flanks! We’ve got a nest of these new cultists. They’re gutter rats and corpless criminals. This is a weapons free, I repeat, weapons free operation!”

There were mutters at that, mostly of surprise, but Tina sat up in disgust as Claire’s eyes opened in anger. “Chief! Permission to speak freely!”

“Granted, Ford, Shin,” Swatti said, looking…weary? Her eyes were red, but it didn’t seem to be stims or blood lust. Like the Chief had been crying.

“Ma’am, those are just civilians! Unarmored, barely armed! They’ve loaded us for bear. I thought we were fighting real enemies! This seems…wrong,” Tina stated, and Claire nodded in agreement.

“Damn right. I signed up to help people, to enforce justice, not gun down kids.”

“Oh shut the fuck up,” someone else snarled. “Would you rather fight ShopWiz armor and blackhats?”

“Yes,” Tina said, and turned to meet the eyes of each of the other officers. All of them looked away from her, in shame or embarrassment.

“You do what you’re ordered. These people are crazy. Turn on your helmet feeds,” Swatti ordered, and Tina put hers back on.

A few moments later, an image popped up. A naked and screaming dwarf, frothing at the mouth, charged out of the blackness of the undercity to utterly obliterate a line of heavily armed NyteTech security forces. Then the dwarf tackled a tank, taking fire all the while. He was only put down after several seconds of sustained fire, but then more raving lunatics charged out of the dark, and the camera feed was interrupted by a burst of flames, then static.

“They’re carved, or something. Drugs, nanotech, who knows. But they’re all extremely dangerous. They might look like street trash, but they’re as dangerous as blackhats or armored combat drones. Think someone on froth or plex, but worse,” Swatti said, her tone low and serious.

“I…I guess,” Tina said, her shoulders slumping in defeat. At least they weren’t being sent to slaughter children.

The others nodded, though now they were grumbling about their “soft targets” not being so easy.

Swatti leaned in close to whisper in Tina and Claire’s ears. “These fuckers killed my girl. That fat sow couldn’t fight her way out of a cardboard box, but even with our gear she still got iced. Watch yourselves. Don’t take it easy on these fuckers because they look innocent and fluffy. Understand?”

“Yes ma’am, Tina and Claire muttered, and Swatti nodded, leaning back. The Chief did look like she was in pain, and Tina understood now. This was revenge. She closed her eyes and tried to think of it that way. It iddn’t make her feel any better.

After what felt like both forever and far too soon, Swatti shouted at them, and Tina tightened her grip on her weapons. She butted helmets with Claire one last time, and then the ramp dropped. She charged out, weapon lowered, as the gun atop the APC roared.

An instant later, heat and pressure washed over Tina, and she grunted as she was rocked back by a detonation on her shield. She couldn’t see through the glare, but she raised her shotgun and fired blindly. It was a semiauto, but she used only three of her ten rounds. She was using shot instead of shells, as her aim was never good at the best of times, but she moved forward, even as an officer behind her screamed in pain, going down to another blast of flames.

Stomping forward, Tina caught sight of a giant shape barreling towards her. She set herself, angling the shield, but even so was pushed back as a lizardman with a club made of a bent sign pole with a block of concrete bigger than her chest crushed her shield. Bad aim or no, Tina could hit a target that big and that close, and she blasted the reptilian beastman in the chest. He gurgled as blood oozed out of the gaping wound, but took another swing at Tina. This one was weaker, but she was still knocked off her feet.

Behind her, Claire opened up with an assault rifle, screaming as she fired. The lizardman went down, and Tina grabbed a shield from a fallen officer, surging back to her feet to cover Claire. Around her, more lizardmen attacked, half a dozen brutes who were clearly hulked out on some drug, their eyes and…hands? Why were their hands glowing, or their weapons? They must have smeared it with some sort of luminescence, but it pulsed with an angry blue glow.

“SSSSSSLAY THE DEMONS!” a lizardman howled, even as Chief Swatti clubbed him down with the butt of her shotgun, then blasted him in the leg.

“DEFEAT THE DEVIL KING!” the rest of the lizardmen screamed in response, but they were soon cut down. There had been only eight of them, but the twelve-man squad of security officers was down to Tina, Claire, Swatti, and two others from another division she didn’t know.

Still, two more APCs were unloading, and more heavily armed security forces poured out. They were in the middle of a broken-down waste treatment plant, with a building next to a series of pipes right before them. It had been abandoned for some time, but it was now boarded up and reinforced by plastic, wood and…glowing barriers? They had to have some crazy tech to manage that, but it didn’t look like the security fields that Tina had seen before.

Gunfire snapped overhead, and bullets pinged off the chipped concrete and Tina’s armor. She raised her shield and grimly advanced forward, unable to do anything else. Another fireball arced towards her, and she cried out in pain as it hit her shield. She could feel her skin burning, smell cooked hair, but she didn’t drop her shield. Claire fired back, and Tina pressed up to the barricade, holstering her shotgun and pulling out the fire axe.

The barrier was made of flimsy plastic, and went down in only a few blows from Tina and Swatti, even as the defenders shot at them with guns or threw balls of flame from their hands. Tina couldn’t process what was going on, but she pressed forward, trampling the barrier and using the axe to strike at her foes. One woman raised an arm to block the blow, but Tina’s axe cut through flesh and bone to bury itself in her chest. She gurgled and died, and Tina felt sick as she walked over her corpse, wrenching the axe free and fighting another man with glowing hands and crazed eyes.

Beside her, Swatti swore and battled a heavily armed orc, this one in what appeared to be stolen NyteTech security armor. Everyone was shouting, and the smell of blood, feces, and gunpowder filled the air. Claire gunned down Tina’s opponent, and she raised her axe again to kill the one hurling fireballs at her.

Then she froze. It was a female lizardman, one with a basket on her back, with a baby in it. Beside her, a little dwarf girl with a scavenged pistol fired at Tina, the bullets too low caliber to be much danger.

“Hilda?” Swatti suddenly said, her own gun falling from numb hands. “But…you…”

“Mom!? What are you- Surrender, right now!”

Behind Tina, Claire groaned, her gun falling silent. She too was facing mere children, hiding behind the skirts of an old lizardman woman who was armed only with a sharpened bit of rebar. “No…no…I can’t…”

“DRIVE OFF THE CORPORATE DOGS!” a woman's voice shouted, and a familiar blonde girl in blue robes with a shawl wrapped about her head strode into the room. “FLAME STRIKE!”

Tina raised her shield again, dropping her axe as she tried to cover Claire. “Cecily?! What are you-”

Cecily turned, her eyes full of fury. Then she saw Tina and Claire. “You!? You’re the ones…”

From behind, a massive explosion suddenly went off, and Claire was tossed into Tina’s back. Both of them went tumbling to the ground, and something hot bit into Tina’s shoulder. She fell facing backwards, and caught sight of their APCs burning. Someone must have had explosives. Dead security forces littered the ground, as did the bodies of the cultists they’d been sent to fight. NyteTech was pulling back to regroup, but they’d return, Tina knew it.

Boots appeared in front of Tina’s face, and she blinked, then looked up. Cecily stood over her and Claire, her expression grim. “Well. I had hoped for better from you two. You seemed like decent sorts, but you’re still corporate dogs.”

Rolling over to put herself over Claire, who was burned, bleeding, and only half conscious, Tina looked around. Children Old women. Cecily. She didn’t see crazed cultists. She saw people clinging to life, struggling to survive. Swatti was kneeling, her eyes glazed and unfocused, the orc in blackhat armor standing over her, helmet off, a pistol pointed at her own mother’s head.

“Give it up, girls,” Swatti rasped. She closed her eyes. “I’m the one in charge. Kill me. Let them live. We…we failed. There is no honor here…”

“There was never any honor in serving the corporations, mother,” Hilda spat, her eyes full of pain and anger. “You know that.”

Ignoring it all, Tina tried to cradle Claire in her arms, but her right arm wouldn’t work. She looked down to see blood streaming down her armor, soaking the floor around her. There was a shard of shrapnel in her shoulder. That wasn’t a flesh wound: She’d be lucky to live, and if she did, she’d lose the use of her arm, probably need to have it amputated. But she couldn’t afford a prosthetic.

“Please,” Tina whispered, stroking Claire’s singed hair. “We…I…surrender. We can’t…what have we done…”

Cecily hurried over to the smashed barricade and peered outside. She shook her head. “They’ll be back again. We don’t have much time.” She turned back around, coming to kneel beside Claire. “You gave me food, said you wanted to help people. Well, now’s your chance. Will you keep fighting for the corporations that enslaved us, or will you accept the love of Lady Aqua?”

“Whatever will save Claire. Please, Cecily. I…I love her. She’s all I have…a medkit, bandages, anything…please…” She hung her head, knowing it was useless. Whatever medical supplies they might have scavenged, these rebels would use for their own, not the ones who attacked them. And Tina had nothing to offer that was worth Claire’s life.

“All love is good in the sight of Lady Aqua,” Cecily said, her tone surprisingly gentle. “And you did feed me. Plus, she’s cute. Heal.”

A soft blue glow washed over Claire, and her burns suddenly vanished, her wounds knitted themselves closed, and even her hair looked healthier. She gasped for breath, sitting up, wild eyed. “Tina, they’re just kids! We can’t…we can’t…”

Trailing off, Claire looked around in confusion. “Cecily? Where…am I dead?”

“Nope! Now hold still, what was your name?” Cecily asked, gripping Tina’s injured shoulder.

“Lalatina,” she muttered, her mind fuzzy from shock and blood loss.

“Hehe, cute! Heal.”

A cool sensation washed over Tina, and the pain in her shoulder vanished. She flexed the muscles, and it felt as though it were a brand new arm. With shaking hands, she took Claire’s face, and pulled it towards her.

“I…I thought I’d lost you…”

“So did I,” Claire whispered, then pressed her lips to Tina’s.

It wasn’t a very sensual kiss, more of a desperate, hungry one, where boht of them were simply glad to be alive. It lasted only a moment, then they looked around them. Swatti was getting to her hooves, her legs trembling slightly. Her daughter handed the Chief her axe, and she looked down at it, her expression one of wonder.

“Well girls…I always did hate traitors,” Swatti rasped. She shook her head, then met Tina’s eyes. “How do you feel about switching sides?”

Silently, Tina picked her shield back up, and took up her own weapon. Then she went to kneel by the door. “Yes, Chief.”

Claire dropped in beside her, and the two of them peeked out. In the shadows of ruined buildings, their former comrades rallied, and she saw the muzzle flashes and heard the deafening roars of cannon fire. Shells slammed into the building above and beside them, and Tina closed her eyes.

“I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore,” she muttered.

“Have faith in Lady Aqua!” Cecily encouraged, taking up a position on the other side of the door. “Pray to her, and ask for her favor! She’ll grant you a miracle!”

“Miracle,” Tina muttered and set her axe down. She put a hand to her amulet, pulling it out from under her armor to stare at it. “I should…be a shield. A protector. I just…I want to protect people. With my bone and my flesh, I-”

The amulet began to glow suddenly, the same bright blue glow that had been around the berserking cultists and Cecily’s hands. Power rushed into Tina, and she gasped as she felt something settle onto her. A moment later, a card fluttered down before her, and she caught it. She didn’t understand the strange words upon it, but she did understand the shield that was stamped under a stylized picture of herself.

Crusader.

The Second Archon War, Interlude 3

Interlude 3: The Travails of Youth

The morning dawned stormy, with purple skies. As he set out, Jun Mikazuki stopped at the shrine by the exit of his house with his two young children, Keizo and Nami. They bowed to the small family statue of the Raiden Shogun, which was depicted similar to a kneeling buddha figure, with one hand raised in benediction and the other holding a sword across her lap. The statue itself was made of porcelain, and painted in purple and earthy tones. Since he had a test that day, Keizo placed a small cup of cola at the foot of the shrine and said a short prayer for good marks.

“Please let me know all the answers and get a good grade, Raiden Shogun!” the young boy begged. He was ten, still short and a little chubby, but a good boy that Jun was proud of.

Little Nami, feeling left out, dug out a drawing she had made, purportedly of Raiden but it could have been anything, and left it at the shrine as well. At five, Jun was already confident Nami had inherited his own artistic skills, which was to say she had none. Then Jun bid farewell to his two children, who turned and walked towards the elementary school.

For his part, Jun got into his patrol car. It was one of the new models, running entirely on Electro Power. The engine was new, made with the electro crystals mined from the Desolation, and could run for nearly 600 kilometers on a single charge. The newer models coming out later this year were supposed to make 800, though Jun had never needed to travel so far. Besides, any town of means would have a Sacred Sakura tree, and hooking the car into the electro network would charge it from nothing to a full charge in under an hour.

At this hour, the streets of Aso were busy, with children hurrying to school, and people coming home from work. Jun’s own wife would be getting home from a shift at the hospital, where she would sleep through the day until the children got home from school. Not much had changed in Aso since the Raiden Shogun had claimed her rightful place as the Narukami Oshogo and supreme ruler, though there were plenty of new signs advertising services of parahumans or Vision Holders, such as an exterminator who could control rats, or a florist who used her electro vision to grow incredible flowers.

The biggest change, however, was the Thunder Sakura Tree, planted near the town’s center at an old shrine. The shrine itself had naturally been rededicated to the Raiden Shogun, and was the seat of the Yashiro Commission. The tree itself crackled and hummed, lightning arcing amongst its branches. It had been one of the first trees that the Raiden Shogun had planted, not long after she had first appeared. It had grown rapidly, and now the Thunder Sakura’s violet leaves shaded a large portion of the square, spreading even over the walls of the shrine that had been constructed around it.

“-protests still continue in every prefecture, as thousands come out to rally against the words of her Divine Exellency, the Narukami Oshogo. These backward-thinking individuals are ashamed of the past and have yet to understand True Eternity. In the words of Her Excellency, Japan must recognize the sins of the past, and walk forward into a brighter future, unhindered by-”

Grimacing, Jun pulled into a convenience store near the shrine, and turned off his car. He didn’t like hearing about the terrible loss of face of Raiden’s apology, but, well, she was the Raiden Shogun, Archon of Eternity, and Spirit of Japan. If she apologized, then surely it was the right thing to do.

“I need some coffee,” Jun muttered, getting out of his car and buckling on his sword belt. He turned towards the store, but paused as he heard his name.

“Officer Mikazuki! Officer! Please, I need your help!”

Jun turned, frowning as one of the shrine maidens ran up to him. Dressed in the traditional white robes, she was a young girl, no more than 18 or 19, and after a moment, he placed her. Aoi Nijimura, daughter of one of his acquaintances. He’d spoken at her high school not long ago, and it seemed she was taking her turn as a shrine maiden, probably as a part of a class or study.

“What’s the issue, Miss Ninijura?” Jun asked, turning and resting his hand on the pommel of his sword. It was an excellent blade, and while he had not received it from the hand of Raiden herself, it was stamped with the mark of the Isshin Blade School. Raiden had presided over the ceremony where Jun and the other graduates of the new Tenryou Police Academy had received their badges and blades.

“Someone broke into the shrine last night! They stole some things, then took off. Also, um…there’s more slimes…again. Can you take care of them? I could do it myself, but, um, I always get zapped…”

“I’ll see to it at once,” Jun promised and followed after Ninijura. He didn’t get far before he muttered a curse and drew his blade. There were a lot of slimes, at least a dozen of them, and three had congealed into the larger, more dangerous slimes. They were bouncing around the shrine and causing a great deal of damage, even as two other shrine maidens and a priest poked at them with pole arms (and one frying pan) to try to get rid of them.

Jun wasn’t a Vision Holder or a parahuman, being a simple policeman instead of a sentai. For an infestation this bad, he probably could use sentai help though. Better safe than sorry. He unclipped his radio from his belt and called, “Officer Mikazuki, I was on my way to the station, ran into some slimes and a potential robbery. There’s enough of a mess I could use some backup.”

“Copy that, Officer Mikazuki. Sentai Ryusei is on her way.”

That got a raised eyebrow from Mikazuki. Ryusei was one of the Five Stars, and one of the older and more powerful Sentai still operating. Still, he wasn’t going to complain.

Instead of waiting, he waded into the fight, drawing his sword and slicing one smaller slime neatly in two, before applying the Raiden Hamono style. It was a simple, effective form of fighting that emphasized fast strikes, quicker footwork, and no mercy. It was a good style for taking out slimes, largely because lethal force wasn’t really a concern there. Jun had taken out two more slimes, one a larger one that had required several strokes before it went down when Ryusei arrived.

“Clear the courtyard,” a raspy voice said over Jun’s radio, and he hastily evacuated, the shrine maidens and priest already waiting outside on the street. A moment later, the Sentai crashed down into the courtyard from on high in a pillar of flame, which resulted in a deafening explosion from the scattered Electro energy. A few quick balls of flame from Ryusei, and the rest of the slimes were gone, leaving only scorched pavement and a few shattered stones from the detonations.

“T-thank you, Sentai,” Nijimura managed, bowing quickly.

“It is nothing. Officer Mikazuki had it well in hand,” Ryusei wheezed. She had on her mask, which hid the burn scars that Jun knew she had, the same scars that rumor had it that she had given herself when her power first awakened.

He bowed all the same and thanked her. “There was also the matter of a robbery. Will you show us?”

“Ah, yes, this way!” Nijimura led them inside the shrine, past a door that was still coated in the sticky, sweet-smelling substance left behind by slimes, and into the inner courtyard. A wrecked clothes line could be seen, along with an overturned bucket, and an open door to what looked like a small pantry.

“Someone broke in, stole some of our clothes, and then raided the pantry. They got food everywhere, see?”

Jun peeked inside, and indeed he could see half-eaten fruits tossed to the ground, bags that had been torn open, their contents spilled out and trampled, and broken eggs and egg shells that had run into a hideous mess.

“Looks more like an animal did this than a person,” Jun said, wrinkling his nose. “You sure this wasn’t a fox or a tanuki?”

“Well, um…actually,” Nijimura blushed. “I’m…not sure. When I found them, it LOOKED like a fox that had curled up in the laundry, but when I shouted, they looked like a young girl. They ran off, and I chased them, but when we got to the fence, they looked like a fox again, and jumped over the wall. Before I could follow, Father Yoshimitsu started yelling, and then the slimes appeared, and I found you.”

Jun exchanged a look with Ryusei. “Changer?” he asked.

“Unless it’s a yokai, I think so,” Ryusei said dryly. “I’ll handle this. You can come along to handle the paperwork.”

Suppressing a sigh, Jun nodded, and they left to let Nijimura and the other shrine maidens clean up the mess. The remains of the slimes would be carefully collected, and then sent to a condenser. There were all sorts of new applications for slime condensate, from cleaning solutions to fertilizers, even finding purpose in forging blades of the Raiden Gokuden.

The trail of the thief wasn’t hard to follow, as apparently, they’d been hauling some of their ill-gotten gains with them. A trail of crumbs, more eggs, bits of fruit, and smears of food led them on a short chase down to where the river was, leading to a culvert. There were clear footprints in the mud, which started off human, but as they got closer, turned into fox prints.

“It could be a yokai,” Jun said, his tone somewhat teasing as he knelt, picking up a few tufts of fur that had gotten trapped in the sticky mud. To his mild surprise, they were pink. He lifted them to his nose and made a face, tossing them down. Definitely fox fur from the musk.

“It’s a parahuman,” Ryusei said, flames igniting around her fists. “Yokai aren’t real.”

“I would have agreed, until the Shogun appeared,” Jun said, putting his hand on his sword hilt. “If the kami are real, couldn't yokai be real as well?”

Ryusei hesitated. “You…make a valid point. Do you want to investigate first?”

Nodding, Jun stepped forward, peering into the culvert. It was big enough for a fox or a human child to enter easily, but an adult would have to bend double to manage. He listened for a moment, and heard the rustling of plastic, a growling sound, and obvious eating noises. He drew out not his sword, but his flashlight, and pointed it down the tunnel before flicking it on.

The bright beam caught not a fox, but what looked like a little girl, no more than five or six years old, trying to open a bag of cheese puffs with her teeth. Her feet were bare and muddy,  her face smeared with the food scattered about her, and she was dressed in a too large and very stained Miko’s robe. The girl had messy hair that was bright pink, but amongst the hair were two furry ears that had just stiffened straight up, along with a bushy pink tail that had a fluffy white tip. That, Jun had somewhat expected.

What he had not expected was the glowing purple Vision at the girl’s feet. That was very odd. Parahumans didn’t receive Visions. They were different from Vision Holders, who up until recently had all been graced by the Raiden Shogun with a reflection of her own powers for embodying the ideals of Eternity. Or at least, that was what the priests taught, and Jun saw no reason to question it.

“Hello there,” Jun called. “You haven’t seen a fox around here, have you?”

The little girl met Jun’s gaze for a long moment, her violet eyes as big as saucers, the pupils rapidly dilating down to points. Then she hastily stood up, the tail and ears vanishing, the robe dissolving into mist, replaced by a yellow bucket hat and a school uniform identical to the one that Nami wore. The characters on the brim, however, were nonsense, more like a child’s idea of what hiragana would be instead of the real thing.

“Oh, Mr. Policeman, you’ve saved me!” the little girl said, scrubbing at her mouth with her elbow so that her words were muffled and muddled. It did have the effect of getting rid of most of the food stains, but not all. “A vicious, but incredibly beautiful, fox demon kidnapped me! I was, um, being forced to open this bag of delectable snacks for her! You have scared her off and rescued me!”

“I…see. Why don’t you come out here so that you and I can talk?” Jun called, his voice echoing slightly in the pipe.

“Oh, um, er…yesss…I am trapped! I can’t get out!” the little girl wailed. “If I do, the incredibly crafty but wicked fox will eat me!” the girl said, kneeling in the silt of the pipe's bottom and batting her eyes at Jun.

“Really? Well, you had better hurry. There’s a rain storm in the mountains, and if we delay too long, the pipe will flood and you and the fox will both-”

The girl raced out of the pipe, her vision in one chubby hand, the bag of cheesy snacks in the other. She tried to dive between Jun’s legs, but he reached down and snagged her, gripping her firmly but tightly as she hung in his grasp like a limp fish. “Now where do you think you’re going, little miss? You have a lot to explain, breaking into the shrine and-”

“Jun! That’s a decoy!”

He blinked, looking down at the girl, then behind him. There was a splash, and flecks of mud splattered as something invisible ran through the mud. Ryusei tossed a ball of flame, which flashed around what had previously been an invisible fox, which froze at the fire. Jun looked down, but found he was holding the empty robe, stuffed with snacks that now came tumbling out.

Swearing, he turned, only to see the fox leap over the flames and towards the river. He jumped forward in a tackle, and this time wrapped his arms around the fox. “Got you!”

“ARRRROAWOWOW!” the fox screamed, and struggled mightily to get out of Jun’s grip, snarling and snapping at him.

That made the Vision it had been holding in its teeth fall out, and even though the fox managed to wriggle free, Jun snatched the Vision, standing up and holding it high as he breathed hard.

“Stop! Or I’m locking this up as evidence!” he barked.

To his shock, the fox turned back into a naked little girl, though she was wrapped in mist and clouds that obscured her form. He gaped slightly, but it wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen while bathing his own daughter over the years.

“EEEEEK! HELP, THIS DIRTY OLD PERVERT IS MOLESTING ME!” the little girl screamed, pointing at Jun.

“No he’s not. Don’t try to run, or I’ll roast you,” Ryusei snarled, raising her still-burning fists and glowering.

“Oh, I’d like to see you try, mortal,” the girl huffed, and her pointed fox ears reappeared, along with two tails that sprouted. A halo of purple foxfire formed around her, and the little girl floated up in the air. “Please, fire, against a kitsune? You’re too cute.”

“I don’t think there’s any need for that,” Jun said with a sigh. He wracked his brains, and came up with a solution. “What if we offer you WcDonalds?”

The foxfire extinguished, and the little girl dropped to the ground. The mists faded as well, but another robe had appeared draped around her, this one just as grimy and wrinkled as the other. She turned to Jun, drool dribbling down her cheek slightly, her eyes greedy. “Really? WcDonalds? I’ve always wanted to try it fresh…it’s just not the same, raiding their dumpster…”

“If you promise to stop trying to run away and return the stolen robes, you can have WcDolands,” Jun swore.

The little girl…kitsune? Looked down at herself and wrinkled her nose. “Do I have to? I just realized I was naked today. I didn’t have any clothes, so…they don’t fit me very well, but I’m not really sure how you humans make them.”

“Do you…have any parents?” Jun asked as Ryusei approached the girl warily. He made a gesture for her to wait, and she paused, still eyeing the girl skeptically.

“Hmph! I am a year and a half old, human! I am fully grown,” the girl sniffed, sticking her nose up in the air. “I left my mother’s den last fall. I am doing an excellent job of preparing for the winter this year! Look how fat I am!” The girl thumped her belly, though she wasn’t any pudgier than most six-year-olds were, and less than some. “Indeed, now that I have these wonderful hands, even those locks they put on the dumpsters won’t keep me out! I will get some of the shiny things, and then I can buy all the food from the larders with the damnable plastic containers I wish!”

“How…long have you been a…kitsune, exactly?” Jun asked slowly. He was increasingly certain that this girl wasn’t human, and was indeed a yokai, whatever skepticism he might have had earlier.

“Fufufu!” the girl laughed, lifting her tail up to her face and grinning smugly at Jun. “I have always been a yokai! For I was the most beautiful and wonderful of all the foxes! Clever enough to steal food from the humans, but not so docile as to live like those pathetic dogs or damnable cats. However, when I was gazing at my wonderful reflection yesterday, I realized that I had an ambition in life! To eat real, fresh WcDonalds.”

The girl clasped her hands together, her eyes going glassy, her lip trembling as she looked up at Jun. “Those fries…they smell…so delicious! And the chicken nuggets! Mmmm! So tender and juicy! Some ignorant human had set their bag on the bench beside them as they talked into those funny boxes you carry around, and I snatched it off the bench! It was so delectable! I knew I must have more!”

She planted her fists on her hips, and looked up at Jun. “So! Return to me my talisman, and I will consent to allow you to purchase for me a WcDonalds Smiley Meal!”

Jun slowly lowered his hand, but he didn’t offer the girl the vision. “I…Think I’ll hold on to this. But we’ll get WcDonalds. Here, hold my hand.”

The girl eyed his hand skeptically. “I do not know. I do not trust you humans. You are forever chasing me off, and putting locks on the food you were throwing away anyway. But, now the tables have turned! For you see, NOW I HAVE THE THUMBS! MWAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!”

The girl cackled madly, wiggling her fingers as if to show off her newly acquired mastery of the universe. However, at the same time, Jun felt something try to pry open his fingers and wrench away the Vision. In response, he reached over and grabbed hard. The laughter cut off, and the girl vanished, while the formerly invisible girl that had been trying to get her Vsion back suddenly appeared, her right hand firmly gripped in Jun’s left.

“Well, come along then. We’ll just go to the station. I’ll have WcDonald’s delivered.”

“NOOO! Give me back my Talisman!” the girl pleaded, tears filling her eyes and splattering down her cheeks as she struggled and wailed. “Without it, I-I… I might go back to just being a fox! I need it! It’s what makes me, me now! I know it! Without it, I’ll lose my precious thumbs! BEFORE I EVEN GOT TO TRY HAMBURGERS!”

“I’ll make sure you get to try hamburgers. You won’t lose your thumbs,” Jun promised. He tucked the Vision into a pouch at his side, it was no bigger than a 500 yen coin, though thicker and shaped more like a fox eye than a sphere.

The girl sagged in his grip, apparently giving up the fight. “Do you promise?”

“Yes,” Jun said seriously.

The girl met his eyes. “OK.”

Then she disappeared again.

Sighing, Jun shook his head. “I can still feel your fingers in mine.”

“Hmph. Well, you can’t blame me for trying,” the girl reappeared, though she once more looked like a little school girl, the hat hiding her ears and with no sign of a tail.

They walked along, Ryusei falling in beside them, the flames on her hands flickering out.

“What’s your name, by the way?” Jun asked as they walked.

“Hmm. Well, it’s hard to say without musk glands,” the girl said, wrinkling her nose. “But it’s something like ‘two-smells-beautiful-flower-musk-on-a-two-star-night.’”

“That’s…a mouthful,” Jun said slowly, shaking his head. “We need another name.”

“Trouble,” Ryusei grunted.

“Heh,” the girl smirked. “Only for you useless and nose-blind humans.”

“Hmmm, well, you did take some miko robes…what about Miko, but spelled with the older kanji?” Jun suggested.

“Fine. I shall be…Double Miko! Because two is better than one.” The twin tails sprouted behind the girl, and she giggled.

“Yae,” Jun agreed. “Yae Miko.”

“Right, sure. About that WcDonalds…also, could you let go of me? You’re hurting my hand.”

“Not a chance.”

“Hmph. You are no fun.”

And thus, began the legend of Yae Miko.

First of the Yokai.

“And everyone, say hello to our new student, Taylor!”

“Hi!”

Gazing out at all the other students in the new class, Taylor felt a little sick, and tried to hide behind her Lightning Princess Ami lunchbox. She was so nervous; her glasses fogged up a little, but she tried to ignore that.

“What don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself, Taylor?” the teacher said, smiling down at Taylor. He was kneeling next to her, and smiling. Unlike Mrs. Frenshaw, Mr. Murphy was a boy, with a big beard, not much hair on his head, but a lot of hair on his chin, and a belly. All of Taylor’s other teachers had been girls, and she wasn’t sure about how she felt about having a boy for a teacher.

“Um, h-hello,” Taylor said, waving nervously. She swallowed. “Um, my name is Taylor Hebert…a-and my dad was the coolest person ever…”

“Who’s your dad?” one of the other students, a little boy with snot encrusted on his lip said and a bright red nose. Taylor wrinkled her own nose. Boys were gross. Except her dad. Her dad was the coolest.

“My dad was Danny Hebert, also known as the Longshoreman, and he was the greatest superhero ever! Even cooler than Alexandria, or Lightning Princess Ami!” Taylor said fervently.

“No one’s cooler than Lightning Princess Ami. She has a TV show. Does your dad have a TV show?” a little girl that Taylor instantly decided she hated piped up.

“He has an action figure, and he was on an episode of PRT Heroes!” Taylor snapped. She reached a hand into her pocket, clutching her father’s Vision. “He fought the Siberian, and she’s a part of the Slaughterhouse Nine!”

“He got killed by the Siberian,” another little boy that Taylor silently swore eternal vengeance upon piped up.

“Edwardo,” Mr. Murphy chided, frowning at the little boy. He turned back to Taylor and smiled. “He was a great hero, Taylor. One of the greatest in Brockton Bay.”

“Better than Armsmaster. He smells funny,” Taylor opined, remembering when she’d met Armsmaster. He’d come over with Aunty Becky and Uncle Wyatte to help them move to their new condo, though she had to call him Mr. Colin instead of Armsmaster. Taylor had been heartbroken to have to move, but Aunty Becky had assured her that the new house was “in a nice part of town” with “good schools, and less crime.”

Taylor just knew she missed her old room, and that her new bedroom was bigger, but not as comfy as her old one.

“That’s very nice. Well, I’m sure you’ll fit in our class. Anything else you want to tell us?” Mr. Murphy asked politely. Taylor could tell he wanted her to go sit down now, but she decided she had more to say anyway.

“I used to go to Franklin Pierce Elementary, but we moved ‘cause my mom got a new job and now I come here to Wood Elementary. My best friend is Emma Barnes, and…and…”

Tears filled Taylor’s eyes, and she decided she was done talking. Her mom and Emma’s dad Alan had promised that they would still be friends and hang out, but now Emma and Taylor weren’t in the same class anymore, and that was horrible.

“I’m sure you’ll make lots of new friends here at Wood Elementary,” Mr. Murphy promised. He gently squeezed Taylor’s shoulder, then led her over to four desks put together. “This is the Butterfly Team. They have an extra seat, so you’ll be sitting with them.”

“Hi!” the snot-nosed boy who was gross said. “I’m Xavier!”

“I’b Billiam,” another little boy who talked funny said, smiling at Taylor. She looked shyly at the other girl on the Butterfly Team.

“I’m Sarah. And Mr. Murphy, William was touching my desk again!” the other girl said. She had freckles on her cheeks and straw blonde hair that would definitely change colors as she got older.

“Sarah, are you tattling, or is there a real problem?” Mr. Murphy asked as Taylor took her seat.

Sarah rolled her eyes. “I’m just telling!”

“Use your words to solve your problems please, Sarah.”

“Yeah, Sarah,” Xavier said. “You’re such a tattletale!”

“Mr. Murphy!” Sarah squawked in outrage.

“Xavier,” Mr. Murphy said firmly.

“Sorry,” Xavier muttered.

“Thank you. Now, everyone help Taylor learn the ropes.” Then Mr. Murphy turned to the class. “Alright, it’s time for the Morning Meeting! Everyone, come meet me at the carpet.”

Taylor nervously walked over to the carpet, not sure where to sit.

“You’re number 18, it’s on your desk,” Sarah told her. “I’m number 17, so you sit here, next to me, OK?”

Nodding gratefully, Taylor sat down with Sarah. She didn’t know all the songs that Mr. Murphy’s class sang, but she did know the alphabet song, and she knew Down By the Bay, so she clapped and sang along to those.

Later at recess, Taylor found herself hanging back at Butterfly Table, uncertain. She reached for her latest copy of Lightning Princess Ami to take with her to look at. She could sort of read it, but she did like to look at the pictures.

“Come on, you can play with me,” Sarah declared, taking Taylor’s hand. “I’m new too. I just started here. I used to live in Connecticut, but we moved ‘cause my dad says the weather is nicer in Brockton Bay and also the houses here go boom.”

“It’s a housing boom,” Taylor corrected. “My mom says she sold our old house for a lot of money, and we got a condo ‘cause it’s just us now.”

“Yeah that. Do you like to play jump rope?” Sarah asked, leading Taylor outside.

“Kinda…”

Looking at what Taylor was clutching in her hands, Sarah’s eyes lit up. “Lighting Princess Ami!? That’s my favorite show!”

“Mine too!” Taylor gasped, as if this were an incredible revelation. Surely, no two other girls their age were fans of the biggest shojo property in the history of Earth Bet.

The two girls giggled and sat together on one of the benches, their breath steaming in the late fall air as they looked over Taylor’s book. Sarah was kinda bossy and talked a lot, but Taylor didn’t mind. At least she would have one new friend at her new school.

Even if she was a bit of a Tattletale.

November Patreon Poll

Let us all be thankful this month for useless goddesses, be they hikiomori or drunks. As such, we must vote on which story gets an extra update this month, and which of them are forced to go home with no turkey. There will also be a poll on my discord, which you can join at the link here. Don't forget to ping me to get the Patreon role.  

https://discord.gg/hFSVFm9C

Work Smarter, Not Harder Arue Route P2

Arue Part 2: Sent Back for Revision

That night, Kazuma found himself disinvited from Megumin’s house, while she ended up spending the night with Yunyun along with Darkness. He hadn’t seen Arue since, well, they’d had sex, and to the best of his knowledge she was still in the Red Prison writing, while he was at the bar feeling like a lost puppy.

“I just don’t get it, you know?” Kazuma said, staring into the bottom of his mug. “I feel like I’ve done it. I’m a real man now! But…I don’t know…I was expecting more, I guess?

“Hey, don’t worry about tomorrow!” Aqua told him, smiling and pouring some of her ale into Kazuma’s own mug. He blinked in shock, but she just rubbed his back. Aqua, giving up booze? What was the world coming to?! “You had fun, right?”

“I mean, I guess…” Kazuma admitted, blushing and thinking back. It had been way better than anything he’d done solo, that was for sure.

“Then it’s all good! All love is good in the sight of Aqua! If it felt good, then it was good! That’s the motto of the Axis Cult!” Aqua said cheerfully. “Besides, sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, anyway.”

Kazuma supposed Aqua would know, she was a goddess after all. “Yeah, I mean, I guess so…” He drained his mug again, then slammed it down on the countertop. “Screw it! I made it with a super hot chick! My days of being a virgin NEET are over! I’m a real chad now! I can do whatever I want, with whoever I want! All love is good!”

“Even one night stands!” Aqua cheered. “Bartender, more ale! My friend is a real man today, so drinks are on him!”

They were currently in the Succubus Lingerie Bar, which didn’t have succubi, no one was wearing lingerie that Kazuma could see, and was more of a family-friendly pub with a warm and cozy decor, and had a nice menu of bar food and rather tasty ale, beer, and wine.

There was a lusty cheer from the other occupants of the bar, all Crimson Demons and their families. Kazuma flushed and slammed down the money he had, which was hastily scooped away by the bartender. He spent the next few hours drinking happily with Aqua, and after a while, he did feel significantly better.

After imbibing quite a bit of alcohol, Kazuma wandered out of the bar to relieve himself and ended up a bit turned around. He stumbled through the town in a bit of a daze, chuckling to himself and enjoying the warm fuzzy feeling the alcohol had given him. “Who needs one woman? I can have any woman I want! I’m Kazuma Sato, Hero of Belzerg, and my popular phase has just begun!”

“Mmm, you are quite the cutie, handsome! And I think you could be quite popular…”

Kazuma turned about to see dark hair and big boobs, and his heart pitter-pattered as the blood rushed to his lower brain. “Arue?! I was, uh, I was just looking for you! I was thinking-”

“Oh, I’m not some little girl, sweetling. I’m a real woman,” the husky voice purred, and the woman stepped closer. She wasn’t Arue, Kazuma realized, being quite a bit taller and without the signature glowing red eyes of a Crimson Demon. She was a handsome woman though, and Kazuma leered, though something niggled at the back of his inebriated mind.

“Well, if you’re looking for a real man, look no further!” Kazuma bragged, puffing out his chest and immediately regretting it when he felt incredibly dizzy. Still, he tried to swagger towards the woman, and found himself quickly drawn towards her.

It was when Kazuma was about to face plant into her boobs that he realized why she looked so familiar.

“AHHHH! I CHANGED MY MIND, HELP!” Kazuma screamed, struggling even harder when he felt something poking him in his thigh. “IT’S GENERAL SYLIVA!”

“Oh ho ho, I’m not letting a tasty snack go so easily,” Syliva chuckled, and Kazuma realized a snakelike tail had wrapped itself around his legs, pinning him in place.

“No, please, it’s a mistake, I just fell in love with a girl, and I never even got a chance to tell her!” Kazuma babbled. “I thought you were her! I was drunk, it wasn’t my fault, I’M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!”

“Don’t worry, I don’t break my toys…too much,” Sylvia said with a throaty chuckle, running a finger along Kazuma’s cheek. “Now I just need to find a way into that damnable vault, and then I’ll just have to change your mind.” Her hand trailed down to Kazuma’s groin, and his member retreated so fast it made his balls ache. “And maybe a few other things about you…”

Kazuma tried to scream, but the tip of Sylvia’s tail forced its way into his mouth, gagging him. He started to black out, until he saw a pair of glowing red eyes over Sylvia’s shoulder. Megumin?

“CURSED LIGHTNING!”

A bolt of jagged black magic darker even than the night around them skewered Sylvia, causing her to cry out in pain. Kazuma fell to the ground with a thump as her tail went limp, and Sylvia coughed up blood.

“Uncouth villain! Unhand my writing partner! He has not yet read my latest chapter!”

Blinking, Kazuma saw Arue striding forward, her eyes burning so red they looked like they were on fire, and her hands trailing dark smoke. Never had he been so glad to see a crazy person before.

“You think that can stop me?!” Sylvia snarled, and her tail lashed out at Arue, who calmly side stepped, and raised her quill.

“DARK DETONATION!”

This time Sylvia managed to defend herself, taking the blast of magic on her arms. She surged forward, grabbing Arue around her neck. “Unfortunately for you, I’m not currently interested in little girls, even overdeveloped ones like you. You do have beautiful eyes though…I think I’ll take them!”

Arue flailed, gasping and choking, but apparently unable to cast any spells with her air supply cut off. Before he knew what he was doing, Kazuma drew chunchunmaru. He was on his feet somehow, gripping the sword in a reverse grip with it held up like a dagger, snarling in rage.

He should have remembered he was just a low level Adventurer and tried something sneaky, because Slyvia’s tail wrapped around him, pinning his arms to his sides as Chunchumaru fell uselessly to the ground.

“And as for you…well. If you want to put a hole in me, I’ll put a hole in you. I’ve always been into femboys,” Sylvia hissed, her bloody teeth bared in a snarl

Kazuma ducked his head and bit Sylvia’s tail, causing her to cry out, more in shock than pain, and drop Arue, who fell onto her rear and gasped for breath.

“R-run,” Kazuma managed, spitting out a tooth. Sylvia’s scales were harder than he thought! “Y-you have to-”

“Let. Him. Go.”

There was a distinctive sound, a steady pulsing hum that was just like someone from Dragon Ball going Super Saiyan. Kazuma blinked as blue light flooded the area, and Slyvia whirled around.

Aqua stood there, cracking her knuckles, a look of pure rage on her face. “Drop my best friend. Right now.”

“Pfff. And what is a pathetic priest going to do?” Sylvia snorted, sneering at Aqua and lifting Kazuma up with her tail. “I’ve heard about you. You call yourself a goddess, but you can’t even fight a giant toad! What are you going to do, spray water at me?”

“HYDRO PUMP!” Aqua roared, and extended both hands towards Syvlia. A jet of water slammed into Slyvia so hard that she left both her shoes behind as she was knocked through the square and into the statue of the griffin. The stone itself was cracked by the force, and when the water cut off, the general looked like she’d been scoured with acid.

“W-woah,” Kazuma rasped, getting shakily back to his feet and fumbling with Chunchumaru. “Why can’t you do that more often?!”

“Huh? Oh, well, I mean, I was just sorta mad she was being so mean to you. Only I’m allowed to do that!” Aqua huffed, blowing a lock of her hair back onto the top of her head. She grinned at Kazuma. “Plus, you left without covering our tab! And I’m not washing dishes all night.”

“What!? How much did you drink!? I gave them 10,000 eris!? You useless goddess, how could you-”

Aqua suddenly shoved Kazuma, and he went flying back, just as Sylvia’s tail slammed into the ground where he’d been standing. “ENOUGH! I’m taking my new pet, and leaving this forsaken backwater! There’s nothing but maniacs and-”

“LIGHT! OF! SABER!”

Slyvia looked down at the giant spear of plasma that was embedded in her sternum. She blinked comically, then looked up to see Arue standing there, panting, her hair askew and robe disheveled. “I…Hate…Crimson…Demons…”

“I am…Arue! Foremost…Author…of the Crimson…Demons…” Arue coughed, struggling to stay upright. “And you will die!”

“RAAAAGH!” Sylvia opened her mouth, and instead of blood, flame spewed out. Arue yipped in panic and had to dive behind a low stone wall as Sylvia staggered forward, the hole in her chest slowly knitting shut. “I…cannot be killed…so…EASILY!”

“Blessing,” Aqua whispered, tagging Kazuma. Strength and power surged through him, and she gave him a thumbs up. “Go save your girlfriend!”

“Uh, right,” Kazuma said, gripping his sword. He put lurk on himself, then hurried forward as Slyvia’s flames inched towards Arue. He lined up his shot, then stabbed Sylvia in the hole in her chest.

“Oh, for the love of…” Slyvia groaned.

Kazuma put a hand on her shoulder. “Drrrrain touch.”

Slyvia slumped into his arms, the energy draining out of her. Kazuma caught her, slowly lowering her to the ground.

“B-but…I loved you,” Sylvia whispered, even as the point of Chunchumaru stuck out of her chest.

“Really?” Kazuma asked, feeling guilty.

“You would…have made…a great…femboy…bottom…”

“Yeah, I don’t think this relationship would work out. Say hello to Beldia and Hans in hell for me,” Kazuma said, and sucked the last of the life out of Sylvia. Then he turned over and vomited profusely.

When he looked up, Arue was looking at him, her eyes slightly wide and wild. “That…that was…”

“Uh…”Kazuma wiped at his mouth. “I um, I just…”

“Incredible! Amazing! The powerful sorceress saves her beloved from the vile chimera, only for her to turn the tables on her! At the last moment, her love breaks the enchantment upon him, slaying the beast, and carrying the sorceress off in his arms!” Arue gasped, clutching her pen to her chest, her eyes distant and dreamy.

“Wait, are you…?”

That was as far as Kazuma got though, because then the entire rest of the village showed up. By the time he was done being interrogated, or well, Aqua was, as she nominated herself to tell their heroic (and highly embellished, not that Kazuma minded) tale, Arue was nowhere to be seen.

“Out for a late night stalking, Kazutrash?” Megumin growled, glaring at Kazuma as she stalked forward, wearing her cape and hat along with her pajamas.

“Um, M-Megumin, I-I don’t think he was harassing Arue… it sounds like they met by accident, and, um-” Yunyun blushed and looked down as she trailed after Megumin. “I-I don’t think from what we saw that, she, uh…”

“I didn’t ask you! Hmph. Well, I, at least, will go do something productive! Come on, Yunyun!” Megumin grabbed Yunyun’s arm and hauled her off, which made Kazuma wonder what they had planned.

“I will see to it they do not get in too much trouble,” Darkness said with a sigh. She looked at Kazuma, blushing and wagging her finger at him. “The next time a powerful monster throws you about, you should let me know, that I might protect you!”

“Yeah, trust me, I definitely will,” Kazuma said with a roll of his eyes.

It was sometime later that he finally collapsed into bed, but before he drifted off to sleep, he wondered just what Arue was up to.

Then he woke up when the earth shook and the entire sky lit up like dawn despite it being 3:00 in the morning as Megumin blew up the rest of the Devil King’s forces. Damn lunatic Explosion mage.

In the morning, Megumin got a scolding for “destroying the new tourist attraction,” while Kazuma got a medal. It was unfortunately just gilded brass, but it looked cool so he accepted it. However, Arue wasn’t there at the ceremony, and when Kazuma asked, he was told she’d disappeared to her “secret lair.”

“Why, so you can perv on her again, Kazutrash?” Megumin demanded.

“So they can have victory sex, duh,” Aqua told Megumin, which made her and Yunyun go flaming red, while Darkness started moaning and panting.

“She, well, she fought Sylvia too! I, er, wanted to share the medal with her!” Kazuma protested.

“Bring flowers, and chocolate!” Aqua advised. “And don’t use protection! I want to make sure my best buddy has a kid for me to look out for!”

“I, uh…” Shit, what if Arue was pregnant?! “...I’ll get some flowers…” And some condoms.

When Kazuma arrived back at the “secret lair” that literally everyone knew about and knocked, he was met with only silence. He adjusted the bouquet of flowers he’d gotten from Arue’s parent’s shop, which had been extremely embarrassing when he’d realized who they were. “Arue? It’s me? I, um, brought flowers…” And condoms, though he’d had to make them himself. Good thing he had the crafting skill…

There was a rustling sound, and a moment later, Arue threw the door open, blinking at him with bleary eyes. She was wearing a black chemise with purple lace and a red bow on the front, which drove absolutely everything out of Kazuma’s head.

“Oh, there you are. I’m not finished yet. Who are the flowers for? They’re very nice, I grew them myself,” Arue said sleepily, yawning and smacking her lips.

“Oh, uh…they were for you, actually,” Kazuma stammered. “B-but I got you some chocolate too…”

“I prefer coffee,” Arue sighed, taking the chocolate and flowers. She sniffed them, then handed the flowers back to Kazuma and took a big bite of chocolate. “Mmm. You should keep the flowers.”

Then she shut the door in Kazuma’s face, leaving him with the flowers and feeling rather baffled. He shuffled off, not certain what to do. In the end, he just took the Teleport back to Axel with the girls, though Megumin protested.

“I don’t know what I want to hold his NEET hand. Since Arue has realized her mistake and shot him down, he is certain to have been misusing it.”

“Well, K-Kazuma is my friend, and I’m not casting Teleport until everyone is h-holding hands,” Yunyun stated, blushing and glancing at Kazuma sideways.

“Fine. But I’m holding yours. He can hold Aqua’s and Darkness’. I wouldn’t want my best friend to have her honor stained by him,” Megumin snapped.

They ended up back in Axel a short time later, and Kazuma went to turn in the bounty for Sylvia. There was another big party, but it felt extremely hollow. He drank and sang along with the Adventurers, who were very excited that Kazuma was buying, none more so than Aqua. But he ended up moping at the bar, staring into his drink.

“What’s wrong, Kazuma? We got lots of money now! You should be happy!” Aqua laughed, shoving another ale towards him.

“Yeah, I guess,” Kazuma muttered. “I’m rich now. I should just hole up in the mansion.”

“Huh? No going back to being a hikkiNEET, Kazuma!” Aqua huffed. Then a look of compassion came over her face. “Sorry it didn’t work out with Arue. Try hitting on Darkness or Megumin! Maybe even Yunyun? You’ll find a girl, don’t worry!”

“I guess,” Kazumam mumbled, sitting up enough to stick his face in the ale and sip at it.

“Hey, when trouble comes, you should just drink until you feel better! It’s probably society’s fault you’re miserable anyway!” Aqua told him, rubbing Kazuma’s back. “Sorry the flowers didn’t work. I didn’t realize Arue’s family were florists. Next time, I’ll make a special greeting card, just for you?”

“How would that have helped?” Kazuma snapped. “She didn’t want anything to do with me!”

“You’ve never seen my greeting cards! Now cheer up! Hey Darkness, Kazuma needs a rebound chick, help me find him one!”

Once Kazuma finished dying of embarrassment and crawled out from under the table, he did have something of a good time. He did tell Darkness he wasn’t up for a rebound just yet, and even Megumin seemed to realize how bad he felt.

“I suppose you have been punished enough,” Megumin told Kazuma. “We will find a quest of sufficient difficulty tomorrow. It must be extra challenging, for it must both have targets for my Explosion Magic, and for Yunyun to get enough skill points that she can learn Explosion Magic.”

“Wait, what?” Kazuma said, frowning and looking to Yunyun, who tried to hide behind her own glass of grape juice.

“I-I, um, I-”

“I have decided that I refuse to be as sexually inexperienced as you, and as such, my new girlfriend is joining the party,” Megumin sniffed. Then she grabbed Yunyun, who squealed and struggled, at least until her lips locked onto Megumin’s. Then she moaned and melted into Megumin’s arms, which seemed to surprise Megumin, at least at first.

“Huh.” Kazuma said, blinking. He glanced at Darkness. “So, uh, about that rebound thing…”

“No, Kazuma,” Darkness said, shaking her head and sighing. “Perhaps, in a fortnight, or even a week, if you s-still wish, to, um…b-bed me…but not right now. While I do desire a perverse man with no scruples who would force me to use my body to pleasure him…I am the one who enjoys pain. I do not enjoy seeing you in pain, and I would not see you hurt yourself only for my pleasure.”

Tears filled Kazuma’s eyes, and he hung his head. “You…”

“I know I am a worthless crusader, b-but I am firm on this, Kazuma, and even if you were to sneak into my room and tie me up, I-I would resist you and-”

“Don’t ruin it, Darkness. You’re…a good friend,” Kazuma sniffled. Then he looked up, raising his mug. “LET’S GET WASTED TONIGHT! I KICKED ASS, AND I GOT LAID! WHO CARES IF I EVER SEE THAT FLOOZY AGAIN!”

“Who is the floozy? This looks like a place with many loose women, but I confess that may be my inherent bias against outsiders.”

“No, actually, most of the girls here know that the Adventurers are a bunch of useless bums, and even if the guild girls dress look cute they’ll slap you sooner than they’ll- ARUE?!”

Kazuma nearly fell off his bench, and did spill a good bit of his ale as he spun about to see who was sitting next to him.

She was dressed in yet another new outfit, this one a high peaked witches hat, a very low cut dress with a dangerously short skirt that Aqua would have approved of, and a choker with a red gem on the throat. She was looking down suspiciously at a glass of wine, as well as a plate of lizard burgers. Beside her plate was a notebook, with the words “Beauty, the Beast, and the Outsider” on the cover in bright red ink.

“Yes?” she turned to him, blinking. “That is disappointing though. A tavern full of loose women is exactly the sort of place where my research could be most productive. Still, I suppose I could fabricate a scintillating tale of a barmaid attempting to resist the seductive wiles of an Adventurer, only to allow herself to be wooed into his bed by his honeyed words and handsome features.”

“I, uh…I was just… look, I didn’t mean to call you a floozy, and, uh, I was kidding about sleeping with Darkness. We’re, um, just good friends,” Kazuma stammered.

“Oh? Hmm, I suppose…yes.” Arue got up, turning her back to Kazuma. “Do continue flirting with your crusader friend.” Then she walked off, leaving her food and her notebook.

Heart still pounding in his chest, Kazuma laid his head on the table. She’d come back, and he’d just ruined it?! “I’m such an idiot…”

“Don’t be dumb, Kazutrash.”

He looked up to glare at Megumin, who was now sitting on a very embarrassed Yunyun’s lap, with Yunyun’s lipstick smeared on her cheek. “You simply do not understand Arue.”

“I guess not! I thought she was done with me, but then she shows up and hears me insult her and try to get into Darkness’ pants!” Kazuma whimpered, banging his forehead on the table.

“I-I do not wear pants, b-but if you find those comely…w-wearing men’s clothes?! How scandalous!” Darkness muttered, biting her lip and blushing again.

“No, stop being stupid and listen,” Megumin huffed, turning around to face Kazuma. “Arue is weird.”

“All women are weird, and Crimson Demons are weirder,” Kazuma grumbled, but he paused in banging his head on the table and looking up. Dare he hope…?

“If there was ever one individual to match you in your perverse and unnatural ways, it would be Arue,” Megumin sighed.

“Says the girl sitting on Yunyun’s lap,” Kazuma huffed.

Megumin blushed, but didn’t adjust her position. “That is different. We are dating.”

“Um, w-what Megumin means is, uh…Arue…she’s always, ah, writing her… stories,” Yunyun said, peeking over Megumin’s shoulder. “A-and, well… she has very strange… ideas.”

“What Yunyun means is that Arue has a filthy mind. She has written stories about all of us from the Red Prison class engaging in perverse acts with each other, or with boys from the village, or fictional ones,” Megumin sighed, shaking her head. “Even the other Crimson Demons find her predilections to be too much. And I think I know what she wants to do.”

“And, um…she probably does want you to flirt with Darkness,” Yunyun added. “Though, uh… I’m not sure about that…”

“I-I would not mind some flirting!” Darkness said eagerly.

“Yeah, hold on. Are you saying she didn’t just go home?” Kazuma demanded, finally sitting up and rubbing his bruised forehead.

“Just read the book. You would enjoy that sort of trash,” Megumin said, curling her lip. Then she turned back to Yunyun. “Now hold still. I’m going to give you a hickey.”

“Waaa! Megumin! I-I don’t even know if I’m gay, d-don’t just…just…oooooh….mmmm~”

Darkness started to pant excitedly again, while Aqua beamed. “Seems like you might get a happy ending after all! This calls for the good bubbly! Oh, Luna! Kazuma said he’s buying me the really good stuff tonight!”

“No I didn’t you, you useless lush of a goddess,” Kazuma muttered, but he knew Aqua hadn’t heard him and didn’t push it. Instead, he picked up the notebook, turned it to a random page, and started to read.

As Arue stealthily crept along the dank corridor, her heart pounding in her chest, she heard a cry ahead. Pausing with her back pressed against the cold dankness of the wall, she held her breath to listen.

“Do you not find my form pleasing? I can take any shape, fulfill any desire,” a rich, husky voice like smooth velvet purred. “Whatever your wildest dream, I can fulfill it… for I am the Shaper of Flesh, the Chimera of Pleasures!”

“No!” Hearing only the word made Arue’s heart flutter in her chest, and she gasped softly, pressing her hand to her lips. “Though you take on the form of sensuality itself, my heart yearns for another! Though we have been parted long years, I can think only of the Crimson beauty of her eyes, and the rich tracts of land she bears, or of the sweet perfumed scent of her rosy lips.”

“Rich tracts of land?” Kazuma muttered, his eyebrow raising at the turn of phrase. There was no way. That weird metaphor was too specific.

“Oh, brave adventurer, please, tell me, a humble barmaid, of your heroic feats and exploits!”

Looking up, Kazuma’s jaw dropped, and he actually panted a bit. Arue was standing there, but she was dressed up as a guild girl, her long curly hair pulled back into a loose braid by her purple bow, and she was smiling at him and holding out two mugs of ale.

“I, uh…” Kazuma blinked, glancing around. What was he supposed to do?!

Something poked him in the side, and he turned to see a serious-looking Aqua. “Play along! You’ve played plenty of VNs and eroges! This is one of those events!” Then she gave him a thumbs up.

Nodding, Kazuma returned the thumbs up, then leered at Arue. “Well, maybe I can tell you a story or two, missy, but I don’t know that a simple barmaid can handle the heroic exploits of Sato Kazuma himself!”

“Oh, I have heard of your legendary exploits, Sir Kazuma!” Arue set down the ales and fluttered her eyelashes at Kazuma. “But how could you be interested in a humble barmaid like me?”

“Well, actually,” Kazuma swallowed, and looked down at the notebook in his hands. “There is…someone else…”

“Oh?”

Hot breath tingled Kazuma’s skin, and he looked up to see Arue had her face right in his, her head tilted slightly to the side, a neutral expression on her face.

“I, uh…” Looking down again, Kazuma swallowed. “You see…I met this girl… at first, I didn’t know what to make of her. I mean, she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen! Dark, curly hair, beautiful red eyes, g-giant tracts of land-”

“Vast tracts of land,” Arue corrected.

“R-right. Um, anyway…we went way to fast, a-and it was all sort of a misunderstanding and an accident…but even though I’ve only know her for a day…I think I’m falling in love with her…she’s got a great body, and, well, she’s a freak like me, and I actually kinda like her writing-”

“You do!?” Kazuma let out a gasp as he was tackled to the ground, and he groaned, looking up into the grinning face of Arue. “What do you like best?!”

“Well, I mean, it's pretty sexy, and with a little editing, I think she really could be a best-selling author. I, uh, I know some of the women in this town, and they, uh, they’re into that sort of literature…especially if she could bring herself to write yaoi…”

By the time Kazuma trailed off, Arue’s nose was touching his, eye eyes gleaming with delight. “Truly? You would be my editor!? And help me find a publisher!?”

“Yeah, I know a guy,” Kazuma said, thinking of Vanir. “And trust me, that bawdy romance stuff totally has a market. And, well, it’s the best stuff I’ve read in a long time. I-”

Kazuma was cut off when Arue planted her lips on his. He closed his eyes, then reached up and hugged her too him. To his surprise, she rolled over so that he ended up on top, both of them basping.

“WOOOO HOOO! YOU GO KAZUMA”! Dust shouted, raising a mug. The other men laughed and cheered, and Kazuma felt like his cheeks were on fire.

“Uh, sorry, they’re a bit…lewd,’ Kazuma stammered, sitting up and blushing.

“It is well, I will learn the customs of outsiders,” Arue said seriously.

“Well the first one is that when I hire a girl, I expect her to work, not to canoodle.”

Kazuma and Arue looked up to see Luna glaring down at them, tapping her foot impatiently on the floor. “We’ve got people to serve, and quest paperwork to file! You can play with your boyfriend in your off time. Back to work!”

“Hey, she’s doing a very important service,” Kazuma protested. “Besides, aren’t I your best customer?”

“Aqua just blew through the last of the money you gave me,” Luna said, jerking a thumb over her shoulder to where Aqua was drinking straight out of the bottle of some very expensive wine.

“What if I give you 100,000 eris to let her goof off?” Kazuma suggested.

“I have 14 quests that need to be done in the morning worth more than that.”

“...and we promise to clear out your backlog?”

Luna smiled and reached down, lifting out Kazuma’s purse. “I’ll just be holding on to this for you then.”

Kazuma almost protested, but then looked down at Arue. “So, I uh…are we?”

“We must conduct more research,” Arue gasped. “What you said was very flattering, but I need you to pretend to be a harded adventurer attempting to woo an innocent girl from a small village who has just come to the big city. That shall be the subject of my next novel.”

“And by woo…?” Kazuma said, getting up and helping Arue to her feet.

“You must flirt with me shamelessly, while this lusty noblewomen in disguise attempts to seduce you,” Arue said, nodding to the very flustered Darkness. “However, you are obviously to her wiles, and trick me to accompanying you home, where I eventually am forced to be your live in maid, and-”

“Say no more. I was born for this,” Kazuma vowed. He sat back down, then eyed Arue. “But, er, about Darkness… is she, uh…?”

“Obviously, you will remain faithful to your love, and your heart will belong only to the innocent girl instead of the worldly noblewoman,” Arue said, blushing heavily and breathing hard.

“W-wordly?! D-do you accuse me of being a woman of the streets?!” Darkness groaned, writhing happily.

“Hmm, perhaps later. For now…and scene! ACTION!” Arue ordered.

Kazuma did his best to play the role, but Arue really got into things, and so did he. By midnight, they were back in Kazuma’s room in the mansion, and Kazuma was desperately trying to remember how to put on a condom as Arue lay naked on his bed.

“What is that?” Arue asked curiously.

“Uh, its’...er…so you don’t get pregnant,” Kazuma explained. “I mean, I-I do love you, but-”

“Ah, yes. Do not bother. I have cast the contraceptive spell upon myself. It would be foolish to have a child when I am yet unpublished, as supporting a family is an expensive endeavor. I see I was wise to choose you as my editor,” Arue said with a nod. She spread her legs. “Now, quickly. The moment of passion is upon us!”

Dropping the condom, Kazuma hurried over, sliding into Arue as they both groaned in pleasure. This time, he lasted a bit longer, and Arue had him try a few positions for “research purposes.”

However, as soon as he finished, she got up out of bed, wiped herself off with a rag, used the chamber pot, and then pulled out a notebook. She walked over to the desk in the corner and started writing furiously.

With a grunt, Kazuma got up and went over, watching over her shoulder. A moment later, Arue pushed him away. “Do not watch as I work. You are too distracting. If you must, pull out my other notebook and begin editing it.”

“Don’t, you know, you want to cuddle? Or sleep together? Or something?” Kazuma said, feeling utterly lame as he did so.

Arue paused, tapping her quill on her lips and getting more ink there. “I…suppose. I could wait until morning. It would be…interesting research…yes. Let us cuddle.”

They got back in bed together, still naked, and Arue snuggled up to Kazuma. “Mmm. Yes. This is nice.”

Kazuma smelled her hair, then pulled Arue close. “Yeah. I guess…I guess it is. Are you…” his throat closed up, and he couldn’t keep going. He was too afraid to hear the answer.

“Pregnant? No, I told you, I used the spell,” Arue replied, looking into his eyes.

“No, I mean…will you stay? With me?” Kazuma rasped, his heart thudding in his chest.

“Oh, yes. I bid my parents farewell and informed them I would be seeking inspiration in the wide world. I found my muse was distracted in my old lair. YOu are a very good source of inspiration, and you are adroit at helping me realize scenes. Naturally, I will require that I stay with you.”

“You mean…you, um…you want to date me?”

“Hmm.” Arue furrowed her brow, and Kazuma’s heart sank. He knew it. Someone as hot as her would never-

“Ah yes, Megumin mentioned you were a few years older than her, so…19?” Arue guessed.

Kazuma’s mind went blank, then he started laughing.

“What? Am I so far off?” Arue asked, sounding rather perturbed now.

Kazuma pulled her into a kiss, wrapping his arms about her. At first, her eyes went wide with shock, but then she wrapped her arms around Kazuma, enthusiastically returning the kiss. After a couple of minutes, Kazuma broke apart, both of them gasping for air and giggling.

“I didn’t mean…what I meant was, are we, you know, together? Are you…are you my girlfriend?” Kazuma giggled.

“Of course not,” Arue sniffed. “Megumin, Darkness, Aqua, and Yunyun are your girlfriends.”

“...I have a feeling you don’t mean they’re my harem. You mean they’re my friends who are girls, right?”

“What else would I mean?” Arue asked, her brow furrowing again. She was very cute when she did that, Kazuma decided. “Hmm, a harem though… I shall observe Megumin and Yunyun. I will only agree to a harem if I find I am also attracted to the woman in question, and I decide I do not mind sharing my editor. I have already determined I find women attractive, though in a different way then men. I do rather enjoy writing romances between women, but also men. Hmmm. Would you consent to taking a male lover? Naturally, he would have to be as skilled as you, and also appreciate literature and be willing to assist you in your editing duties.”

“I, uh, I’m not into yaoi.” When Arue gave him a blank look, Kazuma clarified, “I am not into dudes. I, uh…yeah. No reverse harem.”

“Ah, I see. Then you must understand if I also decline to take a female lover,” Arue said, nodding seriously.

“You’re more than enough woman for me. Honest,” Kazuma swore. “If you’re the first and only woman I’m with, that’s fine by me.”

Arue beamed at him, then slid down. “Hmm. We have not tried oral sex yet. Let me see…ah, you are erect already! Tell me if this feels good as I take you in my mouth.”

As it turned out, blowjobs were even better than Kazuma had imagined, and Arue coached him through returning the favor. After that, they both drifted off to sleep, still in one another’s arms in a sweaty mess. In the future, Arue insisted that Kazuma launder their sheets nightly. He never really minded.

With a little editing (especially changing the names of the guilty and innocent alike and toning down the prose from ultraviolet to merely purple) Kazuma approached the succubi, who were absolutely delighted to help Kazum and Arue get published. Arue was also extremely interested in “shared erotic dreams,” and informed Kazuma that “dreams were no more cheating than books.”

Before long, Arue’s books had a huge following in Axel, then throughout Belzerg, and even beyond. They did a signing tour in Elroad, during which Arue informed Kazuma she was pregnant. She hadn’t bothered to tell him when she was off the contraceptive spell.

Of course, there was plenty of other work to be done. Luna made sure that she took advantage of having two proper Crimson Demons in Axel, and worked Kazuma relentlessly to keep the quest board clear. Yunyun moved into the mansion and stopped pretending she wasn’t gay, with Megumin firmly insisting that she was ‘just as experienced as Kazuma and Arue.’

To Darkness’ disappointment, Arue spent one night making out with her, but when she saw Kazuma kiss Darkness, decided she was against harems. Kazuma later realized he’d dodged a bullet, as there was no way he could keep up with two women with sex drives that would have had every other man in Belzerg jealous on their own.

Aqua was thrilled when Arue and Kazuma got married, though Megumin wasn’t. She ended up marrying Yunyun exactly one week before Kazuma and Arue got hitched and smugly informed Kazuma Yunyun and she were both having twins.

The world never recovered from the Four Terrors, but at least Megumin got all that karma that was coming to her. Yunyun probably didn’t deserve it though.Fortunately, they survived, even if the Devil King didn’t.

As for Kazuma and Arue, after one child, Arue determined she was done, citing that pregnancy and child-rearing interfered with her writing time. Kazuma was disappointed that meant they would never have a little girl, but his ‘nieces’ from Megumin and Yunyun mostly satisfied that for him.

Darkness eventually did find a husband, after Kazuma finally convinced her that no, Arue wasn’t going to let him have a mistress.

Aqua sort of forgot to return to heaven, and when pressed, told Kazuma she was using her “vacation days.”

Arue ended up becoming the Foremost Author of the Crimson Demon Clan in truth, though her books were most assuredly the sort you did NOT bring up in polite company, even if they were a huge hit amongst the nobility and commoners alike.

Kazuma’s wife never did stop being a bit of a weirdo, but that was part of why he loved her. They ended up retiring to the Crimson Demon Village, which was the land of weirdos, so they fit in anyway. And when the final chapter of their own story came to a close, Aqua sniffed, cried for hours, and closed the book. Then she took up with Kazuma’s grandchildren, and great grand children. One story had ended, but another would always begin.

Fin

Well, I guess there’s just one more to go.

Second Archon War: Carmen Dei 16

Carmen Dei 16: What if God was One of Us?

On Tuesday, the audience of the Tone Deaf Bards doubled to over 100, though in the end they still ended up owing about twenty marks for the use of the theater. Naomi said a long prayer with Chaim and Malka, and even went so far as to phone her rabbi to talk to him a bit. She was still vague on the whole “Venti is an angel from Eloheim” bit, but it did make her feel a bit better.

When that had gone out on patrol, Venti had oddly steered them clear of the Gesellschaft lab, saying they’d investigate it later. Instead, they did well…not cape stuff. It was more like Boy Scout stuff. They helped little old ladies load groceries into their car, found a lost child and helped them get home, saved a druggie who had overdosed and got them to the hospital, and helped a woman find her lost car keys.

Ok, maybe the Boy Scouts didn’t help someone who’d OD’d on heroin, but it still felt more like good deeds than fighting evil.

“The duties of the Knights of Favonius are to care for the citizens of their city, no matter how small the need!” Venti explained. “Why, one day, I think the greatest Knight in Mondstadt will be a humble maid!”

That didn’t make any sense to Capri or Naomi, but then again it wasn’t like angels were required to think the same way as mortals. Though bumming a bottle of wine from a drunk didn’t seem like the sort of things angels did.

On Wednesday, the crowd doubled again to nearly 250 people. This time, while the theater wasn’t crowded yet, it was over half capacity, and the crowd was even more enthusiastic. This time, Chaim and Malka celebrated by giving Venti a bottle of wine. Well, they had meant it for all of the Tone Deaf Bards, but angel or not Naomi was not drinking out of a bottle with Venti’s backwash in it.

Chaim had chided Venti about “drunkenness being against the teachings of the Torah,” but he’d gotten out a second bottle to share.

Thomas even joined them, excitedly chattering that the Tone Deaf Bards were becoming the talk of the town. “You’re filling the theater more than it’s been in a year! If this keeps up, we’ll be able to afford to put on a real production!”

“Something small though,” Chaim mused, rubbing his chin. “Perhaps…Waiting for Godot?”

“Too depressing,” Thomas said, making a face. “I was hoping for a comedy that was a little less dark.”

“When we’re done, I want you to put on a Midsummer Night's Dream! I have a soft spot for Puck,” Venti said brightly.

“Shakespeare?” Malka asked, looking thoughtful. “I suppose, the Bard is always popular for plays. A lot of our old actors would come out for a favorite like Midsummer Night’s Dream.”

“Unless we skimp on the costumes, we’d need to make a lot more money though. We had to sell most of ours off,” Malka sighed, looking deeply saddened at the memory. She had sewn a large number of them, not to mention being one of Chaim’s star performers from back when his father had owned the theater and well before she’d married her husband.

“So what do we do now?” Naomi asked, sipping at her glass of wine. “We have three more days of performances. Normally, I wouldn’t want to perform on the Sabbath, but…”

Well, that was a little white lie. She’d made peace with the fact that Friday night and Saturdays were one of the most lucrative and popular times for musicians to perform. She just normally took another day off. It made her feel guilty, but it wasn’t like she was ultra orthodox.

“We pass out fliers of course,” Venti said, handing Naomi a stack, then passing another one to Capri.

Chaim took one, and his eyes bugged out. “These are…incredible! The color, and…real parchment!? How could you afford this?! Where did you even get them?!”

The fliers depicted a stylized version of the Tone Deaf Bards, as if they were a stained glass window, or perhaps a cubist masterpiece, and had the remaining showtimes printed on them and the location of the theater in beautiful calligraphy. The image practically moved on the page, and there was a certain life to the image that Naomi had rarely seen in art before.

“Ehe, that’s my little secret,” Venti said, putting a finger to his lips and winking.

“Why didn’t you make these three days ago?!” Capri demanded. She turned to Chaim. “He just does this sometimes. I have no idea how, but I’m pretty sure he literally makes them out of thin air.”

Considering the amount of Anemo energy Naomi had just felt swirl about Venti, that was a pretty fair bet.

Venti shrugged. “Time wasn’t right yet. Now come on, ladies! Let’s put up some advertisements!”

They spent what felt like the rest of the night putting up advertisements all across the city, with all three of them splitting up to do so. Naomi figured out how to use Anemo to make the posters stick to virtually any surface, and from what she could tell it would last for at least a day or so. She put up posters on every corner, every restaurant window, every bus stop, and on the sides of buses she saw passing by. She also passed out more than a few. Some people leered at her or glared, probably because of the Star of David on her chest, but others were wildly enthusiastic at the thought of a Cape Band, and had heard of the Tone Deaf Bards’ various other performances.

Just as she was finishing up, pasting a poster on the side of a large office building near downtown, she heard a whining engine noise and turned, then jumped back in shock, the Skyward Blade falling into her hand as she fell into a guard stance.

Above her head, a man was hovering, standing atop a winged shape with two whirling turbines that were making a lot less noise than she thought a jet should make. The wing itself was loaded down with weapons, with several gun barrels, missiles, and tube launchers hooked to it. The rider was dressed in high-tech armor that was styled like that of a knight in full plate and colored in black and white with a Maltese cross on it.

“Herr Hospitaller,” Naomi said warily. “What brings you out this evening?”

“You, mostly. I’m afraid I don’t know your cape name,” Hospitaller said, lowering himself until his wing was hovering just over the ground. He hopped off, taking a much less threatening pose, and Naomi lowered her sword. He was one of the Meisters, and though he had been active only a year, he had a reputation as, well, the same noble knight he styled himself after.

“I, um…I sort of…haven’t thought about that,” Naomi admitted. So much had been happening, that she’d never actually thought about that. “Deborah? Er, actually…just call me Naomi…”

“As you wish, Naomi,” Hospitaller agreed. He looked around, then stepped closer. “Look, I’ve been meaning to come find you, but there hasn’t been a good time. The Gesellschaft are gathering. A lot of them. I have it on good authority that Allfather is here, along with Nacht und Nebel, and more than a dozen other heavy hitters. And they’re here for you.”

Naomi’s heart pounded in her chest, and despite herself, she looked around warily. “Are they going to attack? Tonight?”

“I don’t know,” Hospitaller said, sounding apologetic. “My source isn’t high enough up on the Gesellschaft. Look, if they do attack, I’ll stand with you.” He slapped the Maltese cross on his chest. “This isn’t just for show.”

Slowly, Naomi nodded. While not every Crusader Order had been on good terms with the Jews, the Hospitallers had been, and had even sheltered Jews during the Inquisition at times, and had spoken against Jewish pogroms in France and England. There had also been less good times, but she tried not to focus on those as much.

“Thank you, I appreciate that. It’s good to know that the Meisters are on our side,” Naomi said, giving Hospitaller a smile.

“We are, but…well. It’s not a We in Bremen, just me. I’m outnumbered. Badly. Could you call for your friends in Frankfurt, or Berlin?” Hospitaller asked hopefully. “Or, well…retreat. I will stand with you, but I would prefer not to make a romantic and hopeless last stand. Better to strike when we have numbers on our side.”

“Numbers might matter less than you think. We have Venti,” Naomi assured Hospitaller. “And we’re not retreating. Not once.”

That seemed to take the Tinker back. “He’s that powerful? Vornehm said he was strong, but, well, I mean…he is but one Cape.”

Naomi did her best to meet Hospitaller’s eyes, though it was hard with the dark eye sockets of the great helm. “He’s in the same class as the Raiden Shogun. He’s not a parahuman or a Vision Holder. He’s an angel.”

“Really? I would have to ask a priest, but…” Hospitaller coughed. “I, ah, I am a faithful Lutheran. There are some of us left. I tend to believe that the Jews are still God’s chosen, but, well…”

“I tend to think most Christians are a little confused, but as long as your heart is in the right place, I don’t judge,” Naomi said, smiling gently. She did, just a little, but she tried not to.

“Hmm.” They stood awkwardly for a moment, then Hospitaller glanced around again. Then, to Naomi’s shock, he reached up, and undid his helmet. She half expected it to be Thomas, or someone else she knew, but no, he was a complete stranger. A man a few years older than her, with stubble on his cheeks, a receding hairline, and a kindly smile. He tucked the helmet under his left arm, and extended his right hand.

“There’s one thing we can agree on. Fuck the Nazis,” he said.

Naomi took his hand and squeezed. “Screw the Nazis,” she agreed. Even in that, she couldn’t quite bring herself to swear. She knew her mother couldn’t actually hear her, but if anyone could develop a superpower to tell whenever her daughter said a naughty word…

They shook hands, and Hospitaller put his helmet back on, then dug into a utility pouch and pulled out a small radio. “If they attack, signal me, and I’ll come. I’ll stick close to your venue during your performances. I suspect, but don’t know for certain, that they’ll strike during one of them. You’ve humiliated them twice, and they want revenge.”

“Thank you. It’s good to be reminded that not everyone has forgotten the past,” Naomi said with a sad smile.

Flinching, Hospitaller hung his head in shame. “Too many have. My grandfather…well. He was on the wrong side of the war. I won’t be. God be with you, Naomi.”

“And also with you,” Naomi said, raising her hand in a farewell greeting. She gasped, then hurried forward, offering several of the fliers. “I almost forgot! Tell your friends! We’re really good, I promise, and the proceeds go to a good cause!”

Hospitaller chucked and nodded, taking the fliers and folding them before tucking them away. “I’ll buy a ticket, even if I can’t attend. Hard to fit all the hardware under my seat. My specialty is armor, not miniaturization.”

With that, he soared off, Naomi waving goodbye. She grinned, feeling far better.

Maybe, just maybe, there were some good people left in the world.

“Lovely evening,” Geoff said, sitting down at the table.

It was not raining, and the weather was chilly but not cold yet, so this was the prescribed prompt. Dorothy responded with the appropriate answer. “Yes, it’s been a lovely day.”

She opened the box of takeout and felt a sense of relief. It was Chinese Takeout. Exactly what they had every first Thursday of the month when they could not cook. It irritated her that they had been unable to locate good Mexican food, as she ALWAYS made tacos on the first Wednesday, or they went to Some Burros. They had been forced to have sandwiches. Sandwiches! SANDWICHES WERE NOT A WEDNESDAY FOOD.

Forcing herself to calm down, Dorothy served herself rice and beef and broccoli, taking exactly six pieces of beef and eight pieces of broccoli. Then she paused.

“Where are the spring rolls?” she demanded and began frantically digging through the bags.

Geoff looked up, his eyes wild, and joined her. They tore apart all of the bags and the food in a frenzy, then began to viciously attack one another, spitting profanity and hatred. When it was over, their meal was ruined, their clothes were ruined, and Dorothy had passed out from inhaling a good bit of her husband. Which of course, brought out her monster, and she tore apart the hotel room. After all, Geoff couldn’t see her when his own monster took over.

They were in the middle of their fight when the door slammed open and Allfather stormed in.

“What is the meaning of this?” he hissed, his voice low and menacing.

Dorothy’s monster fled, leaving her naked and horribly, horribly ugly, she was ugly, so ugly, they could see they could all see how ugly ugly ugly she was so ugly rip the skin off tear it all of see the ugly ugly ugly

Dorothy forced her hands to stop from ripping more of her skin off, even as her burns and wounds healed. Geoff resolved back into his human form, equally ugly, equally awful. She hated him. Hated him so much. He was ugly, just like her, why did he have to appear so normal, so beautiful? He was ugly!

“I thought I brought two members of the Aryan race here to deal with a pest infestation. Not a pair of children who cannot control themselves,” their Allfather said, looking disdainfully around the room, ignoring both of their nudity, sneering at how ugly Dorothy was.

“Yes, Allfather,” Dorothy mumbled, trying to hide herself with her hands, to hide her shame, her ugliness.

“Clean this up. Tomorrow morning, we plan our assault. Tomorrow evening, the kike, the gypsh and the shim die. And everyone in that theater with them,” Allfather said, his tone harsh, but calm. He turned on his heel and closed the door.

Slowly, carefully, Dorothy got up, and started to clean. When she found the knife, she spent several minutes weeping and cutting herself. She remembered the staying: up the street, not across the road. But she healed too quickly. Her monster would not let her die.

It never had.

Tuning her guitar, Capri could feel the energy. There was just something different about a sold-out performance, no matter how big the venue. There was an energy in the air, something more powerful than even Electro, an excitement and anticipation that changed the air. Their performance on Thursday evening had been to a nearly full theater, with almost 400 in attendance. It had been the most rocking show yet, but this time…

Naomi turned back from the curtains, her face flushed with excitement as she beamed. “It’s completely full! And there’s still more trying to come in!”

Chaim bustled in, red as a beet and beaming with joy. “It’s standing room only tonight! We’re going to have to close the doors! I hope the fire marshal doesn’t come by, but this is the first time I’ve had to worry about that since, well…I can’t even remember!”

Capri nodded, but she didn’t smile. She strummed, and the sound came out just right. Then she looked up, her expression grim. “What are the odds the fuckers attack tonight?”

“They wouldn’t, Hospitaller is hovering just above the building and watching,” Chaim said, but he sounded nervous. “And you’re wearing your Visions, you’ve done so every night! They know you’re capes too…”

Just then, the back door opened, and the armored Tinker stepped in, carrying an enormous gun in one hand, three more strapped to his back and waist. “They’re here! I just confirmed. At least Allfather, Nacht und Nebel, a couple of others. We have to evacuate. I’ve called for reinforcements, but they won’t be here for at least 20 minutes!”

“And call off the show?” Venti said with a laugh, jumping to his feet from where he’d been sitting, apparently completely unconcerned. “So many people would be disappointed! We can’t do that!”

“A-Allfather?” Chaim gasped, going pale and clutching his chest. “B-but-”

“It will be well, we’ve four capes here,” Hospitaller assured Chaim, but he looked nervously towards the curtain. “I don’t know what they’re waiting for.”

“Me neither, so let’s not keep them waiting!” Venti laughed. “On with the show!”

“What!? No! If you go out there, they'll kill you!” Hospitaller protested. “At least let me throw up a barrier to keep you safe! And we have to evacuate the civilians, please!”

Capri looked to Venti. “Do you have a plan?”

“Are you kidding?” Venti grinned impishly. “This is exactly what I want. Now, here’s what we’re gonna do…”

Despite her own fear, despite the panic of Chaim and Hospitaller, Capri and Naomi listened, and nodded.

Capri knew where her hope was. Not in weapons. Not in capes.

Her hope was in her god, and in their music.

Time to break a leg.

Being in crowds made Dorothy’s skin crawl, and she tugged her jacket closer about her, despite how warm it was in the theater with so many bodies packed in. Everyone was looking at her, seeing how ugly she was! How could they not see how ugly they were? All those smiles, hiding their hideous faces, their guts, their bones, their blood, their filthy, filthy guts, the feces, the urine, it would all come out soon. All spread everywhere for everyone to see.

Their orders were simple. After the curtains rose, one of their capes would cut the power. With the lights off, Dorothy’s monster would be free, since no one could see her. She would begin the slaughter. Geoff would transform, and choke those that survived, obscure her, so no one could see her ugliness. They’d kill everyone. First the filthy subhumans, then everyone else. They were all subhumans. All monsters. Everyone except Allfather. He was pure. Clean. He was Allfather, and Dorothy must obey, to hide her ugliness.

Suddenly, music began to play, and Dorothy snarled. This wasn’t the plan! The curtains were still down, they-

… If God had a name what would it be?

And would you call it to his face?

If you were faced with Him in all His glory

What would you ask if you had just one question?

For the first time in years, Dorothy’s mind stilled. The crowd went silent.

… And yeah, yeah, God is great

Yeah, yeah, God is good

Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah

The curtains rose as the second verse played, and Dorothy’s breath went away. At the front of the band, a man in green played, a guitar held in his hands. There were two others on stage, their music perfect, beautiful, incredible. Washing away all the ugliness. All the pain.

And then, the singer met Dorothy’s eyes.

… What if God was one of us?

Just a slob like one of us

Just a stranger on the bus

Tryin' to make his way home?

Pain filled Dorothy’s mind, her body, her spirit, her soul. She gasped, clutching herself, frozen in pain. Geoff writhed beside her, and across the audience, so did all of the other Gesellschaft capes. Outside, by the power box, another lay on the ground, writhing as green winds washed over him.

Then, the pain was gone.

… If God had a face what would it look like?

And would you want to see

If seeing meant that you would have to believe

In things like heaven and in Jesus and the Saints

And all the prophets?

Tears filled Dorothy’s eyes, but not from the pain. The pain was gone. She didn’t hurt any more. It was just so…beautiful. It was all so beautiful, and she choked back a sob. Beside her, Geoff put his head in his hands and wept.

… And yeah, yeah, God is great

Yeah, yeah, God is good

Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah

A hand brushed Dorothy’s, and she flinched back. She looked up, and saw it was Geoff. His eyes were full of tears, and his face was twisted in pain and regret. He slowly took her hand again, and despite herself, she found herself taking his.

… What if God was one of us?

Just a slob like one of us

Just a stranger on the bus

Tryin' to make his way home?

With a trembling hand, Geoff reached up and touched Dorothy’s cheek. “I…I’ve always wanted to say…you…you’re so beautiful.”

… Just tryin' to make his way home

Back up to heaven all alone

Nobody callin' on the phone

'Cept for the Pope, maybe in Rome

Once more, Dorothy completely lost control. But her monster didn’t come out. She couldn’t even feel it. She felt…clean. She wrapped her arms around herself, her body shaking and shuddering as she sobbed.

… And yeah, yeah, God is great

Yeah, yeah, God is good

Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah

Images flashed through Dorothy’s mind. The white van pulling up. Screaming, clawing, and struggling, until the hood was pulled over head. Then the lab. The needles. The table. The spiders, the bugs, crawling over her, biting her. It had been her deepest, darkest fear. She had lost track of time, of herself.

… What if God was one of us?

Just a slob like one of us

Just a stranger on the bus

Tryin' to make his way home?

Then, the monsters. The world-eating, reality-spanning monsters. She had seen them, seen more than she could fathom. Her mind, already broken, had shattered, fallen to pieces.

And her monster had awakened inside her.

… Just tryin' to make his way home

Like a holy rolling stone?

Back up to heaven all alone

Just tryin' to make his way home

Allfather had saved her. Had trained her. Had shown her she was ugly, that she could never be clean, that she had a monster inside her. That everyone did. But he could control it. Control her. That he was the only good and beautiful thing in the world.

Only…that was a lie.

… Nobody callin' on the phone

'Cept for the Pope maybe in Rome

The song ended, and Dorothy and Geoff both looked down at the man, and he met their eyes. His face was streaked with tears, but he smiled. He leaned forward into the microphone and spoke to her. To them. To everyone.

“Good morning. I hope that woke you up. But you’re free now. So. Why don’t we just have a good time this evening?”

Blinking, Dorothy looked around. Everyone in the audience was absolutely wrecked. There wasn’t a dry eye in the crowd.

But then, the music began again, joyful this time, excited.

And for the first time since she’d seen that white van, Dorothy smiled. Not a fake, practiced smile. A real smile. One of joy, for her heart, was at peace.

She held Geoff’s hand. And she felt beautiful.

Stumbling out of the theater, Richard gasped for breath, clutching his chest as he shoved past the wall of bodies. Those eyes! Those horrible, green eyes! Boring into him, into his soul!

You don’t have to hate. Let go of it, Richard. Be free.

The voice in his head, like that of a demon! For a brief moment, it had almost overcome him, overcome his years of training, of dedication! But no. He was a true Aryan. A true member of the Master Race! He would not be swayed by their lies.

Scrubbing his hand across his face, Richard looked back. He sneered. The others, they had been weak. Their blood had been impure. They had defaced themselves. He had seen it, seen their eyes. They had given in to the lies.

Straightening his shoulders, Richard summoned forth his blades, slamming them into the wall of the alley he’d wandered into. Dust kicked up, and he nodded. Something was…different. But he still was Allfather. They hadn’t defaced him completely.

There was a whir of engines, and he looked up, drawing forth more blades as he snarled up at the shape above him. “Race traitor! You betray the German people, the Master Race!”

“Leave this city, this nation” Hospitaller’s voice barked. “We don’t want your kind here, Nazi.”

The Meister cape’s voice dripped with scorn, but Richard stood up straight and raised his arm in salute.

“Heil Hilter! I am a proud member of the American Nazi Party! If I must lead an army across the ocean and cleanse the homeland of subhuman trash, I will!”

The pavement by Richard’s feet exploded as a sharp retort ripped through the night, deafening even the infernal music that could be heard across the street from the theater.

“Only warning. The only reason I don’t cut you down where you stand is because an Angel of the Lord said that this is a night of peace. Repent and beg forgiveness for your sins, and perhaps God shall be merciful!”

“I am Allfather! I am my own god! There are no other-”

There was a boom, and glass around them shattered. Richard cried out, covering his ears and ducking down. For a moment, he thought Hospitaller had attacked, but when he blinked and looked up, a golden man hovered over the theater.

“Scion,” Richard breathed. He grinned and looked to Hospitaller. “Where is your god now, fool?”

Then, a form zipped up from the theater, even as the music resumed. Richard’s jaw dropped as an angel with green wings confronted Scion. The two seemed to exchange words, then, with another boom, Scion left.

Richard blinked in confusion. But…Scion…he was a member of the Master Race, was he not? How could he…?

It didn’t matter. He limped away, vowing vengeance. Next time…next time he would be ready.

And he would bring worthier servants.

The show was finally over. It had gone on for hours, long past the scheduled time. Dorothy found she didn’t care. In fact, she wished it had never ended. She had laughed, she had cried, she had sung, she had danced. She had lived. How long had it been since she’d been alive? She didn’t know.

She sat in her seat with her husband, with Geoff, her head on his shoulders, simply breathing. Most of the crowd was chattering and leaving, though many had gone down to try to get signatures from the band.

From Him.

The one who had healed her.

Geoff stirred next to Dorothy, and his arm squeezed her shoulder. His touch was wonderful. Human. It felt…right. She realized she didn’t hate Geoff. She never had.

“Dorothy…” he said, his voice ragged, raw.

She stirred, looking up, sensing the pain in him. “What? It’s alright now, Geoff. It’s going to be alright.”

Tears leaked down his cheeks, even as he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “No. It isn’t.”

“It is! It can be! We don’t have to go back to Allfather! Back to any of them! We’re free, Geoff! I don’t…I don’t feel ugly anymore! The monster, it’s gone!” Dorothy took Geoff’s hands in hers and squeezed. “Don’t you see? It’s going to be alright!”

“No, Dorothy.” Geoff opened his eyes, and they were red. Snot tricked down his nose, and Dorothy took napkins from her purse and dabbed at the mess. She didn’t feel revulsion. Just…pain. Not the same as the pain from before. Pain, because her husband was in pain. Because she cared. Because she could feel.

Gently, Geoff wrapped her hands in his. They felt warm, strong, firm. Real. He leaned forward, closing his eyes again, and she rested her forehead against his, feeling a sense of panic. Did he not love her? Did he hate her? Suddenly, that mattered so, so much, when just a few hours ago she hadn’t even thought that he could feel, or would have cared if he could have.

“We…” Geoff swallowed. “Dorothy…we…we were Nazis. We killed…oh god…we killed so many…”

Horror washed over Dorothy, and she collapsed into Geoff’s arms.

The bodies. She could see all the bodies. Those people. Those beautiful, innocent people. She’d killed so many. She hadn’t cared at all. It didn’t feel real, but…she could remember. Remember the joy, the delight, she took in the death. In the pain.

“Oh god,” Dorothy moaned, and she fell to her knees, dragging Geoff down with her. They both dissolved into tears.

There was no way out. They were free, but they were trapped. Trapped by their own actions. There could be no excuses. They had both done such horrible, horrible things. Dorothy could remember ripping apart little babies and reveling in it. She vomited, all over herself, over Geoff, and a moment later he vomited as well, both of them crying out in pain and terror.

“That’s enough. Sit up.”

Blinking, Dorothy looked up. Her vision swam, her head pounded, but…

A hand extended down to her. And then, a voice.

“I forgive you.”

She blinked. “Who…who could forgive…what we’ve done?”

The face came into focus. Green eyes. Dark hair in twin braids. And a sad, pained smile. “I can.”

Trembling, she took the hand, and a moment later, so did Geoff. They were pulled to their feet, and winds washed over them. She shivered and gasped, but when the winds vanished, she was washed clean.

“The past is buried. Your sins are forgiven. You are not the monsters. You were used, you were betrayed, you were violated,” god said firmly. “Now, you are reborn in the winds of freedom, washed clean of your past.”

Dorothy found herself nodding, but she spoke up anyway. “But…I still did…how can I…?”

She looked to god with pleading eyes, and hung on his every expression, every word.

“You can’t. Not really. But from this day forward, you live for others. To bring freedom to those enslaved. To spread peace, joy, and love. To fight evil, wherever it’s found,” god told them.

“Will…will we ever make up…for what we did?” Geoff gasped, his voice trembling as much as his body as he clung to Dorothy.

“No. Which is why I forgave you. You are my Knights now. All of you.”

Dorothy looked around, and saw the faces of the other Gesellschaft capes that had come with them, gathered around them, looking as shaken and shriven as she felt. Fear flashed over her, and she looked around wildly.

“He’s not here,” god told her, and he looked even more full of sorrow than he had before. “I can only offer freedom and forgiveness. But to be free is to be able to choose. I gave you all the power to choose. Do you choose to turn your back on the sins of your past?”

Dorothy nodded, as did the others, hope filling her heart.

“Then go, and sin no more. My Knights of Favonius,” god told them.

Weeping, Dorothy fell to her knees in thanks and worship.

It was the first day of her new life.

Author’s note:

Some chapters are harder to write than others. This was one of the hard ones. Sometimes, I write silly things, like giant monster battles, or children’s card games, or dumb jokes. This wasn’t one of those times.

Some people might say that a pair of monsters like Night and Fog, like the Nazis, can’t be forgiven or redeemed. That they don’t deserve it. That’s not what I believe. I don’t believe that Venti is the one who redeems, or forgives, but I do believe there is one who can. That all of us, no matter what we’ve done, can repent, and be forgiven.

I hope, that one day, we’ll all accept that deal. And we will all go and sin no more.

Last Drop of Hope, Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Knight of the Living Dead

It had been a long time since the Corporations had gone to war. Not that there weren’t constant low-level conflicts, security forces and contractors clashed all the time over resources, real estate, and petty grievances. But the massive war machines of the Corporations hadn’t been deployed on Belzerg in generations. Now, the streets quaked, the citizens cowered in fear, and the Generals of old marched to battle once more.

The first pocket of resistance that the NyteTech forces faced was an illegal chop shop (meaning that it wasn’t corporate sponsored) that was home to a clan of dwarves, but had been fortified in the past day or so and reinforced by dozens of squatters. The hover tanks rumbled up, and without warning, simply opened fire on the makeshift barricade. The security forces didn’t even really care, taking a few pot shots and joking about picking off stragglers. A few of them took cover behind the tanks, but most didn’t expect more than pot shots with stolen or home made guns.

They were not prepared for what they got.

The first dwarf, buck naked and frothing at the mouth, jumped out of a hole in the ground and ran towards the line of tanks, two rusted hammers clenched in his fists. “SLAY THE DEMONS! DEFEAT THE-”

Three different NyteTech security officers shot the dwarf, one in the head, two in the center mass. The rounds were heavy enough that the kinetic force from the rounds stopped the dwarf cold in his tracks and sent him pinwheeling to the ground. The officers laughed, and looked elsewhere for targets.

Then the dwarf screamed, “DEFEAT THE DEVIL KING!” got back up, and charged the lines again. He did so far faster than anyone should have been able, and the shocked CorpSec officers didn’t respond quickly enough. By the time they did, the Axis Berserker was among them, and he tore through half a dozen standard officers and two heavily armed and armored blackhats. When a hovertank opened fire with its coaxial machine gun, the dwarf didn’t even notice the bullets, which were biting into his flesh, but doing far less damage than they should have.

Then the berserker tackled the tank. The tank was thrown back far enough that it slammed into the ground, though it was sturdily built and well armored enough that it wasn’t badly damaged. Then the berserker tried to rip the barrel of the tank's main gun off. He actually managed to dent the metal before he was so riddled with fire that even a berserker's legendary damage resistance and massive health pool couldn’t help him survive.

He had, after all, only been level three. But he did make an opening. And the Axis Cult was never known for playing defense.

A mass of rabid zealots charged the lines, all of them shouting praises to Aqua, wielding makeshift weapons, and laughing maniacally. While CorpSec officers were used to violence and shootouts, they were not used to having fire balls, wind blades, and balls of acid conjured out of nowhere to hit them. A more well-disciplined force would have held, and a better informed one would have known that a bunch of low-level mages and priests would run out of mana in under a minute of fighting and that those berserkers only got one rage a day that lasted only two minutes at most.

Corporate Security was a bunch of bullies used to having the edge in numbers, equipment, and training. They were also very much not used to fighting a foe that was so determined and motivated to fight that they would throw themselves at tanks to have even a small chance of killing just one more of their foes.

The lines broke, and while a few blackhats held out in pockets, the vastly numerically superior NyteTech forces turned and ran, and the hover tanks found themselves unable to deal with magically empowered opponents easily. They panicked and began firing on each other, doing far more damage and causing much more destruction than their opponents ever could have managed. They did also prove that HE shells and plasma bolts could cut down even a berserker, damage reduction or not, but it was a complete farce.

For a few minutes, it looked like the cultists would prevail, and that the advance of NyteTech would be utterly stymied.

Then the Death Knights waded into the fight.

Beldia was a seasoned campaigner against the Axis Cult, and he knew their strengths: Incredible power, unbreakable morale, no regard for casualties, and a zealous aggression that often overwhelmed their foes. But he also knew their weaknesses. No real coordination, a complete lack of tactical acumen, and relatively few numbers. Once he saw that the Cultists were getting bogged down and running out of steam, he sent in his elites.

The Death Knights did not make a sound as they rose up from the long shadows in the undercity. The first Axis Cultists to fall to their black blades didn’t even see their deaths coming. When the priests and mages did turn towards the new threat, the blackhats, used to fighting foes that didn’t just roll over, counterattacked. The cultists hadn’t even considered that they were over extended, and the enfilading fire from the flanks cut them down where they stood.

In total, the battle had lasted only mere minutes, and the enemy was completely wiped out, to the last man. But the previously inexorable advance of the NyteTech forces had been stopped, and their morale shaken. If a bunch of corpless scavengers could do this, what would real opposition do?

Before his troops had time to fully grasp the situation, Beldia strode onto the battlefield. He had kept his distance, having learned his lesson against Axis Cultists a long time ago. There was very little left on Belzerg that could threaten him now, but even a low level priest was a greater risk than he was willing to take. Still, he could sense the energy, and an opportunity.

Taking out his black sword, Beldia extended it over the battlefield. Thanks to the Axis Cult, this place was now rich with mana. Drawing upon dark energies that hadn’t been profaned in centuries, the General spoke a single command to his fallen troops.

Rise.

With a groan like that of an opening coffin, the fallen NyteTech forces slowly got back to their feet. Skeletons that had been broken knit back together, and spirits that had been attempting to cross over into the choked afterlife were re-bound to their mortal forms. Dead eyes stared at their CEO, minds muddled by death unable to process what had happened.

“You see? They cannot hope to stop us! With our new ReLife technology, even should you fall in battle, you will rise again, now immortal and unstoppable!” Beldia declared. “No matter how many times you fall, I shall bring you back to crush our foes!”

There was a moan that half sounded like a cheer from the newly minted undead, and their living counterparts gave a shaky shout themselves. Then, at their general’s command, they advanced once more.

Turning to one of the Death Knights, Belida gave one other order: “Burn the Axis. Don’t leave anything for Aqua to raise.”

Flamethrowers were brought out, and the corpses incinerated until there was nothing left but smoldering ashes. Beldia turned toward the buildings of ShopWiz, and grinned, clenching a gauntleted fist. A black necrotic aura formed in the air around the metal, slowly corroding it.

“So this is the power Sylvia had all this time. Well. Her loss…my gain.” Laughter like the echo of the grave rang out, and Belida boarded his personal hover tank. He’d crush the Axis Cult, and do it properly, unlike that damned slime. Then…well. They would see how long the others lasted against the endless ranks of the dead.

For hundreds of years, the Crimson Demons had worked alone. Occasionally, they had worked with allies and friends, but over time that became less frequent as the betrayals mounted and the Clan became increasingly paranoid and suspicious of outsiders. When your eyes were worth a literal fortune, it was tough for even the most upstanding of individuals to not turn you in. Having seen for herself time and again people betray her and her family if they caught even a glimpse of red eyes, Megumin was naturally inclined to distrust and hate anyone who wasn’t in her immediate family.

Which was why it was so odd that she was having to work harder and harder to keep her guard up around Aqua. It wasn’t just that Aqua had helped her and been kind to her, or even that she’d given Megumin hope she didn’t realize could exist. Aqua was just so…innocent. Guileless. Megumin didn’t think Aqua could lie if she tried, and even if she did it would be easier to see through than Komekko’s attempts at prevarication.

It was nearly impossible to understand how someone like Aqua could ever survive. People SHOULD have been taking advantage of her kindness and loving nature at every turn. But instead…

“Here, try it on!” Aqua said, smiling brightly and holding out the outfit to Megumin. She took it, examining the piece. It was in black and red, and made of leather, and not the fake stuff. Megumin had no idea how much this much genuine animal hide would cost, but it had to be millions and millions of credits.

“And Rain just…gave this to you?” Megumin asked dubiously. “For me?”

“I told her I needed materials to make you a set of armor! Normally, crafting armor isn’t my domain, but I decided to think about it as a fashion statement, and then I just got inspired! It will be super durable, and give you some nice buffs! After all, it’s a legendary item crafted by a goddess!”

“I don’t know,” Megumin said hesitantly. Sure, Aqua had made her clothes before, clothes that were much more comfortable and fit better than  cast off rags they replaced…but this was a kingly gift. “Am I gonna like, owe you, or something?”

“You can make me an eyepatch! I always liked getting them from the Crimson Demons,” Aqua said happily.

“But…you have both your eyes, and you could heal if you lost one, right?” Megumin said, feeling puzzled and slightly dizzy at the idea of getting this for a measly eyepatch.

“It would be special because it was a gift from a friend! Even if it’s not an eye patch, maybe we could just hang out and get some drinks sometime!” Aqua said, still smiling as though she didn’t have a thought in her head.

Despite herself, Megumin found she was having to scrub back tears. “F-fine. I’ll see if it fits…”

Stepping into the room she’d been given, Megumin stripped off her clothes, took a hasty shower with real water, then dubiously started to put on the armor. To her shock, it fit her perfectly, fitting snugly to her body while still being entirely comfortable. She examined herself in the mirror, and at first was quite taken with it. The mostly black armor had an eye pattern on the chest that looked similar to Crimson Demon eyes, and flattered her form rather nicely while still being tasteful. However, she then realized that the armor did nothing to hide the fact that she was still as slim as a boy despite being sixteen. She blamed the lack of nutrition.

She flexed a bit and moved around, and to her shock, the armor did more than not impede her movements. Indeed, it enhanced them, making her steps lighter and swifter and her strikes with Gram surer and harder. When she looked at her Adventurer’s card out of curiosity, she saw that the armor offered a huge bonus to all her stats, but especially her Strength and MP, with the bonus effect of extending the duration of all her enhancement spells. It also offered a long list of resistances to various types of damage, including physical damage.

Feeling slightly self-conscious, Megumin stepped back out, only to find Yunyun and Komekko waiting with Aqua.

“Wow, Megumin! You look super cool!” Komekko said eagerly, running up to her and grinning. “How do I look?!”

Teary eyed still, Megumin knelt and gave her little sister a big hug. “Completely adorable.”

Indeed, Komekko was now sporting a wide brimmed witch’s hat with red eyes sewn into it, along with a set of robes that matched Megumin’s in color palette, but had red ravens embroidered on the hem. It also fit Komekko perfectly, and Megumin was certain it also had some crazy bonuses to stats that didn’t make any sense, but actually worked anyway.

Then Megumin stood and turned to Yunyun, who was fidgeting nervously. A scowl crept over Megumin’s face as she saw that Yunyun’s outfit wasn’t shy about the fact that puberty had been far more generous to her than most girls. The outfit itself had a great deal of lace and ruffles, though the shortened skirts that came down only to Yunyun’s calves probably meant it wouldn’t hinder her movement at all. It was far more ornate than either Megumin or Komekko’s outfit, though it did suit Yunyun perfectly.

“Um, A-Aqua said these are the t-traditional robes of the Chief of the Crimson D-Demons,” Yunyun stammered, blushing and looking down. “M-maybe…maybe you should be the Chief, not me…a-after what happened…”

“No, it looks good on you,” Megumin made herself say, giving her adopted sister a smile. Then she gave her a hug. “It’s…it wasn’t your fault, Yunyun. We’ll get our revenge.”

Wordlessly, Yunyun gripped Megumin in a tight hug, and a moment later, Komekko latched onto them too. The last three members of the Crimson Demon Clan silently cried together for a few moments.

Then, someone else joined the hug, making all three of them start in shock.

“Hugs are nice,” Aqua said happily. “I’m glad you three made up! Sisters should be friends!”

“Uh, yeah, I guess we have,” Megumin said, and on an impulse hugged Aqua as hard as she could. “Thank you. For everything.”

“You’re welcome!” Aqua said, apparently oblivious to the moment. “Now, let’s go kick Beldia’s stupid boney ass!”

They headed out of their chambers and down several halls and elevators to the ground floor, where the forces of ShopWiz were assembling. Megumin spotted treaded tanks, assault walkers, heavily armored hover cars with mounted guns, and dozens of blackhats in heavy armor, along with a large number of security forces.

It would have been impressive, but Megumin was also well informed enough to recognize they were nearly all armed with last gen equipment. Treaded tanks did have some advantages over hovertanks, but with the debris and rough terrain of the cityscape, and the multiple layers, they were simply inferior in most situations. The walkers had similar problems, and the armored cars were basically target practice for NyteTech forces. ShopWiz blackhats would be skilled, but not to the degree NyteTech operatives were, and their gear wasn’t as good.

“Are we seriously supposed to fight NyteTech with just this?” Megumin said, looking around with a critical eye. “This is a bunch of junk.”

“It’s what I have. I spent too much money and resources on keeping people alive, and not on my military forces.”

Megumin turned to see Wiz stride out, looking pale but not at death’s door anymore. She was wearing the same purple robes, though now she had on a dark mantle, and was wearing a hood with two curved horns poking up at the side. Next to her, a book with icy blue runes on it floated, and she was flanked by Rain and a bare chested man with a blue waterwheel freshly tattooed across his body.

“That’s not really the sort of thing a CEO does,” Megumin said, frowning. “You seem pretty bad at this.”

Wiz laughed, and actually smiled at that. “I’ll take that as a compliment. I think most people think of CEOs as monsters…and we all are, of one sort of another. Maybe I’m just bad at being a monster.”

“I…I don’t think you’re a monster,” Aqua said, shifting from foot to foot and looking down, her forehead wrinkled. “It doesn’t make any sense, but…then again, neither did there being good lizard people. I guess…we’ll just have to work together.”

“Thank you, Lady Aqua,” Wiz said. She turned, and gestured to the assembled forces. “Your army awaits.”

“My army!? But…but I’m really bad at leading armies!” Aqua cried, taking a step back and sounding panicked. “I always had Zesta or Mitsurogo do it!”

“Mitsurugi,” Wiz corrected. “And, well…don’t you have a champion now?” She turned to Megumin, who blinked in surprise.

“Me?! I don’t know how to lead armies! I can slay any foe you show me, but not lead an army!”

“Um, I-I don’t really know much about leading armies either,” Yunyun said nervously.

“I’m six,” Komekko added, which was enough of an argument on its own.

“Ah, yes, um…I was having Mr. Hauz Warez, my chief of security lead the army,” Wiz hastily explained, waving her hands in reassurance. “He’s, ah, been trained for that. I just meant…”

“We all are here to serve you, Lady Aqua,” Warez said, kneeling before Aqua. “I was one of the ones you blessed at the farms. We are all eager to serve.”

“Oh.” Aqua considered that then produced two paper fans which spouted water, jumped up on the railing near her, and posed on one leg. “I only have one command for my valiant troops! Slay the Demons!”

“DEFEAT THE DEVIL KING!” the ShopWiz forces roared back, and Aqua giggled and did a few more party tricks, including somehow juggling eleven balls for several minutes and pulling a few extinct species out of a hat to the audience’s awe. None of them even knew what a dove or a rabbit was.

Reports were already coming in of attacks by NyteTech forces all along their border, and Santomon Chemicals was massing security forces as well. Warez had determined that the only possible way to survive was to hit one force and drive them back before they had time to coordinate an assault and crush all of ShopWiz under their boot heels. Since NyteTech had already mobilized, they were the priority target, and the army surged into motion.

Traveling back through the city, Megumin looked around warily for more people taking pot shots, but this time, the civilians and shopkeepers had been cleared out ahead of the upcoming battle. It left Axel eerily quiet, save for the tromp of boots on cracked pavement and the rumbling of the tanks.

Then, ahead of them, they heard a distant thunder. Aqua went pale, and let out a horrified cry. “They’re killing my followers! We have to do something!”

Hauz Warez looked over, shifting the absolutely enormous axe he’d gotten from somewhere on his shoulders. “We can’t advance any faster than we are. I’ve got scouts out, including some with that interesting new ability that makes them invisible, and we’ll make contact soon. NyteTech is reducing a squatter camp on the outskirts of the undercity. It’s tragic, but it’s buying us time.”

“But, but we have to help!” Aqua protested, tears in her eyes. “I…I can feel the necrotic energy! He’s raising the dead!”

“Well, that’s not so bad,” Yunyun said, though she sounded uncertain.

“No,” Wiz said quietly. “Belidia is a dullahan. He’s raising an army of zombies. There’s enough residual mana now for him to manage that. They’ll just be low level undead, but…”

“But it’s evil and we’re the good guys, so we have to stop him!” Aqua declared, pointing forward. “Let’s charge!”

“Aqua, what happened the last time you ran a battle?” Megumin demanded, putting herself in front of the goddess.

“Um…” Aqua shrank back, looking guilty. “W-well, I…”

“You lost the last war. Let this guy figure out how to use the army.” Megumin hefted Gram and looked to where the sounds of distant fighting echoed. “And I’ll sweep up the rest.”

The advance continued in an orderly manner, with Warez maneuvering the army into a position that stood above the lower portions out ahead of them, and had several less decayed buildings as cover positions.

“I thought we were supposed to be hunting them,” Megumin said, glaring out at the darkness of the undercity. She could see just fine of course, but the various passages and ruined buildings obscured her view more than a couple hundred meters out.

“Never let your opponent choose the ground you fight on,” Yunyun said, looking around. “This location has a low ceiling, which limits the effectiveness of the hovertanks. At the same time, that’s solid bedrock above us, so a sustained bombardment won’t just bring the roof down on our heads. And though there’s cover past 100 meters, those tunnels will create natural choke points, and we’re holding positions above us too, right?”

“I’ve got a full battalion of tanks, and most of my assault cars and anti-air up above us on the surface,” Warez confirmed, looking at Yunyun with interest. “You seem to have a pretty good head for this stuff.”

“W-well, um, I…I did study battle tactics, to, um…one day lead the Crimson Demons back to greatness,” Yunyun admitted, cringing nervously.

A part of Megumin wanted to snort at that nonsense, but when she looked out at the army, and over at Aqua and Wiz, who were having tea next to a parked tank of all things…she did feel like maybe, just maybe, they could do this.

Giving Yunyun a quick hug, she said, “Don’t worry, I’m sure you will one day.”

Yunyun beamed at her, and they settled in to wait. Unfortunately, it wasn’t long.

“Enemies!” Komekko suddenly called, pointing to a ruined section of piping leaking foul sludge of some sort. “There! Hoost can spot ‘em!”

“ZEPHYR STEP!” Megumin cried, and raced off in that direction. She covered the hundred and fifty meter distance in moments, her eyes seeing through the camo cloak in the darkness and finding a squad of blackhats. Her sudden movement caught them off guard, and they swore and fired at her when she was mere meters away. She managed to dodge that, then she was among them, swinging Gram with a fury.

The first foe she took out was in thick and heavy NyteTech power armor, but her magic blade cleaved through it easily, slicing through the torso diagonally and killing the blackhat instantly. Her next cut was low, slicing her foe at the knees, and sending them toppling over, gushing blood.

To her shock, the next of her foes swung a dark, rusty blade at her, and when she parried it, Gram rang like a bell, and the other sword didn’t part. She even found herself forced back, the counter stroke nearly taking her head off.

Swearing, Megumin danced back as her opponent advanced. When she saw the white skull on the visor, her blood ran cold. Beldia’s personal guard.

Another of the survivors fired at her, and Megumin was forced to dodge again, even as she had to parry another attack by the elite. He didn’t pursue her out of the sewer pipe though, retreating back, his blade held high.

Snarling, Megumin went in again, activating her stealth ability and swinging furiously. Somehow, her foe knew right where the attack was coming from though, his blade rising unerringly to strike her. The other blackhat fired, and Megumin cried out, bullets striking her leg. She staggered, and had to retreat again as the elite struck out at her. Her blow this time was clumsy, Zephyr Step unable to help her as much now that she was wounded, and her opponent was inhumanly strong. Thankfully, her armor had held, and while she was bruised, she was able to recover quickly, and she wasn’t losing blood. She wasn’t sure how many more rounds she could take though, and she clearly couldn’t overpower this foe.

Stepping back out of the pipe’s entrance, Megumin hoped the elite would follow her, but they continued to fall back, more rounds snapping out and forcing Megumin to take cover at the side. Feeling frustrated, she unclipped a grenade she’d made, and tossed it into the tunnel. After the blast, she raced in, but there was no trace of her foes. She briefly considered pursuing them, but she didn’t know these pipes, and Aqua was still behind her.

Grimacing, she fell back, even as a team of ShopWiz operatives raced into the tunnel to pursue. Returning to the command post, she shook her head. “I got two, but one of Beldia’s Death Knights was there. He was too strong, too fast, even for me. I didn’t think anyone could keep up with me now that I had these powers, but he could. His tech must have been insane.”

“Not tech. Magic,” Wiz said grimly. “Death Knights isn’t just a title. They’re powerful undead, ones that have held together all these years even with all the mana drying up. It’s incredible you survived at your level.”

“Wait, they have magic too?!” Megumin gasped, turning to Aqua in horror. “But-”

“They always have,” Aqua said, clenching a fist. “Don’t worry, Megumin. If that filthy undead rears its head again! I’ll cleanse them right away! Oh, um, no offense, Wiz…you don’t stink too badly, honest.”

“It’s alright, I would prefer to see them pass on as well. Someday…when everyone is safe…I’d like to rest myself,” Wiz said, looking exhausted. She shook her head, but put a hand on Megumin’s shoulder and smiled. “You did well. Don’t try to fight the Death Knights, not yet. You’d need to be at least level 40, and it would help to have a team with you.”

“Level 40?!” Megumin took out her card and looked at it. She was level 12 now, apparently having gone up again after that scuffle, but still… “I have more points…teach me another spell! One that could kill a Death Knight! Something to make me stronger!”

“Oh, I’d love to! I have several powerful Strength Enhancing spells!” Wiz said eagerly, digging out a grimoire. “Let’s see…Heroism, Boar’s Endurance, Bullfrog’s Strength…”

“Ugh, I hate giant frogs,” Aqua said, making a face. “They’re so icky.”

“C-can I learn some new spells?” Yunyun asked curiously, proffering her card.

“The traditional Crimson Demons would save up for advanced magic. You need 30 more points for that, but you do have good skill growth, so it shouldn’t be more than six levels for you,” Wiz said. “I’d be happy to let you copy some of my custom spells from my book once you learn that, but I do have some powerful Intermediate spells you could use!”

Megumin ended up learning Bullfrog’s Strength from Wiz and Blade Flurry from Aqua, which would hopefully give her a better chance against stronger foes. It wasn’t long after she’d finished and Yunyun had copied down some of Wiz’s custom magic that should help during the battle. Growing bored, Aqua started a performance before all the troops, doing shadow puppets with a spotlight that had everyone clapping.

“That’s dumb, and a waste of time. She’s just making herself a target!” Megumin complained.

Wiz shook her head, looking thoughtful. “Check your status on your card.”

“Huh? What would…’Inspiration?’ ‘Blessing?’ Wait, my stats went up by 25%!? And I can’t be ‘Feared,’ whatever that means,” Megumin muttered.

“She’s a goddess. Her performance will grant the army powerful status effects,” Wiz said, smiling happily.

“I like the puppets, they’re funny!” Komekko laughed, clapping excitedly.

Watching the show, Megumin grudgingly admitted those shadow puppets WERE really good. “Well…it’s not like she’s doing it on purpose I bet.”

“Uh…n-no comment,” Wiz said, looking flustered.

Megumin smirked, but didn’t have time to enjoy her small victory. General Warez got a call over the radio, which looked rather odd with his bare chest and giant axe, and he raised a hand. “Scouts have made contact! The enemy will be upon us in minutes! Make ready!”

Swallowing, Megumin went over to Aqua, and ushered her back.

“But my show! I have to finish!” Aqua wailed.

“Shh! The enemy will be here soon, and we don’t need you getting shot by a sniper,” Megumin hissed. “This is all for nothing if you go down!”

“But…but I’m going to fight! These are my followers!” Aqua declared, clenching her fist.

“And the best way you can fight is to heal the wounded and raise the dead. My job is just keeping you safe,” Megumin said, motioning to Yunyun and Komekko, who hurried over to her.

“I…I guess,” Aqua agreed, looking dejected.

“Don’t worry, you’re a great healer! That’s pretty important in a fight,” Komekko said seriously. “That’s why I always had the first aid kit! Here, you can use mine!” She dug out an old metal box, which was decorated with two red eyes, and a picture of Komekko and her family, including their parents, which gave Megumin a pang of sorrow.

“Thank you. I’ll treasure it,” Aqua promised, clutching the box to her chest.

Before long, scattered fire could be heard in the tunnels as the ShopWiz scouts and screening forces engaged the enemy. For long minutes, the sporadic fire slowly intensified. Then the tanks and heavy guns opened up, shelling various locations where the enemy had to appear. The first few shots just raised up dust and scattered rocks, but then one hit something, and there was a secondary explosion. A hover tank careened out into the open, burning and damaged. A second hit blew it in half, and there was a hearty cheer.

Then two bolts of plasma arced into the ShopWiz ranks, and one of their tanks and an armored car exploded in bursts of flame.

Megumin swallowed, and said a brief prayer as Aqua sobbed in horror. She held the goddess back, hissing, “No! Stay here! They’ll bring the wounded to us.”

Even as she did so, she could barely hear herself as the great cavern resounded with fire, screams, and filled with choking dust and smoke.

The Battle of Axel had begun in earnest.

Carmen Dei 15: Bed of Lies

Beta’d and edited by October Daye, Dr_Feelgood, The Grand Cogitator, and Philosophysics

The plane landed exactly 4 minutes 38 seconds late, which made Dorothy’s right temple twitch slightly. An unacceptable deviation. As they had rehearsed, Geoff stood first and helped get down their luggage. They exited the plane after executing a thank you to the crew as planned, then headed immediately to the restrooms. You did need to factor in biological functions after all, then proceeded to the baggage carousel where they retrieved the rest of their luggage.

As they had been told, a driver with a card was waiting for them. What was not planned was that the card said “Geoff and Dorothy Schmidt” on it. The sign should have read “Mr. & Mrs. Schmidt,” with the ampersand. Someone had failed to properly follow protocol, and Dorothy felt her headache coming on again, and her skin crawl with the need to disappear, to hide, everyone was staring at her and she was ugly, so ugly, hideous how could they bear to look at-

“Your vehicle is right this way,” the driver said, and Dorothy forced herself back onto the proper track. Small deviations could be ignored. She would kill those responsible later.

They spent 2 minutes 17 seconds less in the vehicle than they had anticipated, which meant they were now 2 minutes 21 seconds behind schedule. That was still within reasonable bounds. She proceeded to the meeting room, where Allfather was waiting, along with the planned meal: chicken salad sandwiches with Lays crisps, and sparkling water to drink. Laid out with exacting precision.

“Please, you must be hungry, it’s time for lunch,” Allfather said, gesturing to the food.

It was exactly 11:45 am, though obviously that was in Berlin time, not East Coast Time. Dorothy still ate, of course, as it was important to follow the routine no matter the time.

After taking exactly 14 bites to eat her chicken salad sandwich, Dorothy dabbed at her mouth with her napkin, then replaced it on her lap and folded her hands over her napkin. “So, Richard, what do you have for us?” she said, just as she’d rehearsed.

“Something amusing, I hope,” Geoff said, baring his teeth. It was supposed to be a smile, but unlike Dorothy, Geoff never practiced his smiles, so they were rather unnerving and unnatural. It was one of the many things Dorothy hated about her husband.

“It’s the sort of job you both enjoy,” Allfather said, smiling and pushing three photographs towards them.

One depicted a redheaded woman that Dorothy immediately hated. Despite her overly large jewish nose, the woman had the sort of looks that drew eyes to her, and the sort of bright smile that showed genuine happiness and contentment with herself and her place in the world.

Lies lies lies she’s full of lies she’s not pretty she’s ugly just like you you’re ugly you’re hideous there's a monster inside you inside her inside them all rip off their skin and show them the monster inside-

It was a good thing Dorothy’s hands were in her lap, because they were shaking. The monster inside her wanted blood, and she had to provide it. Later, she’d cut herself, somewhere it couldn’t be seen, to let the monster out of her, just a little. She’d heal, of course, she always did, but she needed a reminder that she was a monster and so was everyone else.

That was why they all had to die.

“This is Venti Luft,” Allfather said, tapping his finger on a picture of a fey looking boy who was smiling and playing a keyboard. “And his companions, Naomi Cohen, and Capri Lakatos. A pair of devient homosexuals, as well as a jewess and a gypsy.”

“Filthy. They’re filthy,” Dorothy said, reciting the words that had been drilled into her skull so deeply that she knew it was really her that was filthy, and not all the blood in the world could cover it.

“You want them…dead?” Geoff asked, his tone flat, but his eyes burning. He was a monster too. Just like Dorothy. It was why they deserved one another, even though she knew he thought she was as ugly as she really was. At night, when the lights were off, when they lay in bed together, she knew he could see her monster, see what she really was. Just as she could see what he really was. A monster. Like her.

“Not just them. We’ve a report that they are at a theater owned by a breeding pair of zionists. I want them, and everyone else in that building, dead.”

“No…restrictions?” Dorothy asked, touching the paper with Naomi’s face. Why? Why did she have to be pretty? Dorothy was so ugly, and this Naomi would be ugly too, under her skin, where the blood and brains and shit and filthy and ugly ugly ugly you’re so ugly!

Dorothy lifted her finger, regarding her broken nail and the drop of blood there. She ripped the nail off, drawing more blood, but she healed before the monster could make its way out. Not that it mattered. It had been Allfather who had shown her what a monster she was. What a monster they all were. She had to obey him. Had to listen. He was Allfather, and she was an ugly monster.

“None. I’ll be there, along with several others. But I know I can trust the two of you. It will be an evening of Night and Fog. And when it ends, there will be nothing left of this subhuman filth.”

Dorothy nodded, but she knew it wasn’t true.

After all, her monster couldn’t die. She could only show what she really was when no one was looking. And at the end of this night, there would be no one left to see.

Crouching on the rooftop, Capri surreptitiously looked around. There was no one there. Her powers didn’t detect anyone. She’d just come up here on watch, and there was no reason for anyone to be here, the show didn’t start for twenty minutes. Drawing her cloak about her, she dropped her voice. “I am vengeance, I am the night! I am-”

“Batty?”

Capri just about jumped out of her skin and spun around to find a ginning Venti leaning on the door behind her.

“N-nothing! I was just, uh, I was just-”

“Pretending to be Batman?” Venti offered, that smug grin still on his face.

“I swear to God, or at least, another god! That if you tell ANYONE I will personally kick your ass, Venti!” Capri hissed, dropping the cloak and feeling as though her face was about to catch on fire.

“Relax, that’s not what I’m here to do,” Venti said with a chuckle. “I came up here to tell you we’re going to rehearse in a few minutes, and I’ll keep watch, so just relax. But I guess you were anyway.”

“I was, I wasn’t…” Capri hung her head. “Alright, fine. You can call me a loser nerd or whatever now.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Venti said consolingly, coming over to put a hand on Capri’s back. “Say, have I ever told you about the Darknight Hero?”

“No…” Capri said slowly as Venti led her back down the stairs.

“Well, there was this young orphaned man who had inherited his father’s business, but he had a passion for justice!”

“Ugh, look, you said you wouldn’t tell anyone!”

“Huh? I wouldn’t!”

“That’s literally just Batman, Venti!”

“No no, unlike Batman, the Darknight Hero was real! You see, he was a wine merchant who-”

“That’s just drunk Batman, Venti. Look, I’m sorry, but you’re not cool enough to be Batman. If anyone gets to be Batman, it’s me.”

“I…can’t help but think you don’t believe me about the Darknight Hero.”

“And I can’t believe I was striking that stupid pose on the roof,” Capri muttered.

“What pose? Are we doing a new dance routine?” Naomi stuck her head out of the changing room and grinned, causing Capri to jump like a startled cat. “Oh? What’s wrong, Capri?”

“Nothing! Don’t believe anything Venti says about the Darknight Hero, Batman doesn’t drink!” Capri snapped.

Naomi’s brow furrowed. “Why are you talking about Batman? I always liked Superman myself.”

“Hmm, I think this is another element of Earth Culture I’m missing somehow,” Venti said, frowning and looking back and forth between the two of them.

“They were old time capes, from before capes were real. They’re not very popular anymore,” Noami said with a shrug. “But I remember reading those comics when I was a little girl, before the first real capes started appearing.”

“Interesting, I had read a little about that, but…hmm, time for that later! For now, let’s rock this place!” Venti said happily.

Chaim bustled down the hall, adjusting his glasses and looking nervous. “There’s not a big crowd out there, but…are you sure there will be no trouble?”

“Nope, I’m keeping an ear out. If anyone is coming to try anything, the Winds will tell me,” Venti promised.

“You…you’re really sure?” Chaim asked uncertainly. “I had to tell the buyer I was thinking about it today, and…”

“Relax, we got this,” Capri told Chaim, giving him a thumbs up. “If anyone tries anything, we’ll kick their ass.”

“And if they don’t, we’ll kick ass with our music!” Naomi said, shadow boxing a few times before smiling excitedly.

“Yes, well, I suppose. You’re on in five.” He hurried back the way they’d come, and Capri grabbed her guitar and fussed with her hair in the mirror a little, while Naomi put a little bit of last minute makeup on Venti, who preened at the attention.

Then they hurried out to the curtain, where Chaim was introducing them.

“-something a little bit different for us tonight, we present to you, the Tone Deaf Bards, all the way from Berlin!”

The curtain went up, and Capri grinned, even as her stomach dropped in disappointment. Though the theater could seat several hundred people, there couldn’t have been more than a couple dozen out tonight. Half of those were Chaim and Malka’s family, it seemed, and the empty seats. The doors in the back opened, and a few more people hurried in and took seats, but that just barely brought the numbers up to thirty.

Still, now wasn’t the time to be discouraged. Capri played a few cords, and stepped up to the microphone. “Thanks for all you wonderful people coming out tonight! Are you ready to rock?!”

There was scattered applause and one whistle from Thomas in the soundbooth, but the air was dead. Swallowing, Capri forced herself to smile. She’d just have to play loud enough to fill the whole theater.

“We’re gonna start with a song our resident bard penned himself, we call it, The Winds of Freedom!”

Capri started to play, and as she did, she knew Venti was doing something. She was pouring as much of her passion and ambition into her instrument as she could, and it sparked with Electro, and something more. Naomi was giving the drums everything she had, and even though the crowd was small, by the end of the first song the audience was on their feet, cheering and clapping along. Chaim and Malka’s kids were jumping up and down and squealing with delight, and Capri couldn’t help but grin.

They played past the scheduled time of an hour, doubling that until even with magic and power racing through her veins Capri could feel her voice start to get raw and her energy levels begin to drop. They finished up with a request from the audience, which wouldn’t you know it, was God Knows from Lightning Princess Ami. Apparently, Chaim’s kids were big fans.

By the end, the audience was up to fifty people, and even though the theater was barely even a tenth full, it was a big improvement. Everyone was clapping and cheering, and though the audience looked worn out, they all seemed thrilled to be there.

“Thank you all, you’ve been a wonderful audience!” Capri said, waving as she finally let her guitar hang from its strap. “We’re here every night this week, so make sure to tell your friends and come back to see us!”

A number of people came up to ask for autographs and gush about the music, while others shouted that they would be sure to tell their friends.

It wasn’t all that late, the concert had started at 6pm, and even after they’d cleaned everything up it was barely 9pm. Hardly bedtime, which meant only one thing.

“My throat is parched after that! Why don’t we hit the bar?” Venti said, stretching and smiling. “What’s our take from tonight, Malka?”

“You owe us 168 marks,” Malka said tiredly, ripping off a piece of paper from her clipboard and shoving it towards Venti. “We sold fifty two tickets, but once you factor in the friends and family discounts, because this was basically all friends and family except for that last group that wandered in at the end, we barely sold six hundred marks worth of tickets! Then, there’s the cost of paying the crew, renting the theater, the cost of electricity…we’re in the red, and by a lot.”

“Ehe…uh…maybe we shouldn’t hit the bar,” Venti said, tugging at his collar nervously. “Er, just give it a few more nights? The next crowd’s sure to be bigger…”

“We won’t charge you, not yet,” Malka said with a heavy sigh, shaking her head. “At least you’re trying to help the theater…”

“I don’t suppose there’s a bonus for being a divine messenger?” Venti asked hopefully.

Malka gave him a flat look. “You start making some real profits and I’ll consider it. Tone Deaf Bards. Never heard such a foolish name…” She wandered off, looking defeated as her shoulders slumped.

Venti rubbed his chin, looking thoughtful. “New idea! How about we go on patrol instead?”

“Beat up some bad guys?” Capri said, slamming her fist into her palm and making a sharp crack of thunder.

“We do have another performance tomorrow, we should get lots of rest and let Capri rest her voice,” Naomi said worriedly.

Capri drew on her Vision, and felt the energy flow through her. Her throat was a little raw, but with some concentrated Electro, it was quickly restored. “Good as new! What’s the plan for tonight?”

“Well, I think it’s time for the Knights of Favonius to show the flag, and prove that we’re here to watch out for Bremenites, big and small!” Venti declared, planting his hands on his hips.

“And see if anyone will buy you a drink?” Capri guessed.

“And see if anyone will buy us a drink!” Venti corrected.

“As long as we’re back before midnight,” Naomi sighed, apparently already surrendering to the inevitable.

“Ah, the night is young, and our next performance doesn’t start until six! Besides, we can hand out fliers!” Venti said, producing two handfuls of them.

“Where are you getting those from?” Naomi asked curiously.

“Solidified Anemo energy and a few other tricks I know,” Venti said, giving her one stack and Capri the other. “Now come on! Let’s have an adventure! Maybe if we get a grappling hook, we can pose and pretend to be-”

Venti dodged out of the way with a hoot of laughter as Capri tried to zap him, and took off at a run. Blushing and muttering, she headed out, with Naomi laughing as she used the breeze to launch herself into the air.

After weeks on the road, the world tour was finally wrapping up. Mushu was anxious to get back home for a number of reasons, not the least of which was because Keiga had already left for Japan, and they had a wedding to plan.

For now, they were in Singapore, and Tsukuyomi was doing the usual speech before the parliament with various other political notables there. He was mostly just standing there and looming. By now, he trusted Tsu to do the job properly, and she had been putting a lot more effort and thought into her public appearances than Raiden ever had. Maybe it was because she didn’t have a couple thousand years of experience as a leader, or maybe it was due to her programming. Either way, Mushu wasn’t really paying attention to the speech.

Their reception so far had been cordial, but cold. Singapore didn’t exactly have the warmest relations with Japan, largely from what had happened during the Japanese Occupation. Mushu was part Japanese, but he was also part Chinese, and he knew perfectly well the horrors that Japan had inflicted, and then steadfastly ignored and pretended hadn’t happened. Singapore clearly remembered, but at the same time, they’d lived in fear of Leviathan and had few notable capes, so cozying up to Japan made sense.

Still, no one was threatening Raiden, and they were making inroads as well as signing historical trade agreements, so Mushu drifted and daydreamed as he stood to Tsu’s right.

“-and finally, for the unconscionable actions of Japan during the unjust occupation, I extend a most heartfelt apology-”

Mushu’s head snapped around at the same time every single politician in the room sat up and sucked in a breath. She wasn’t. There was no way. The Japanese completely refused to-

“-for the actions of my people. As the Electro Archon and Narukami Oshogu, I humbly apologize for the dishonorable actions of my nation. No more shall Japan be an aggressor or oppressor of weaker nations, as to do so is the antithesis of Eternity.”

You could have heard a pin drop. Mushu actually did hear several pens fall. If he concentrated, he could hear the protesters outside who had been angrily demonstrating against Japan. To them, the memory of the brutal occupation was still fresh, and he’d seen more than a few holding pictures of their dead relatives.

Then Raiden bowed. It wasn’t a full bow, she merely inclined her head and leaned forward slightly, but it was a bow. He realized he was holding his breath, and tried to swallow.

“Please accept my deepest regret and sincerest apology,” the Raiden Shogun said to the President. He blinked several times and looked to the Prime Minister, who was slowly shutting his mouth in equal surprise.

When Raiden straightened, the President cleared his throat and stepped forward. “It means a great deal to hear the Ruler of Japan apologize for their nation's actions. Words alone will not mend all wounds…but perhaps this can be the beginning of true reconciliation.”

There was more said after that, but Mushu wasn’t paying attention to the rest of Tsukuyomi’s speech. His phone was vibrating in his pocket, and he already knew who was calling as he stepped back and put it to his ear.

“You heard right. She just acknowledged Imperial Japan’s war crimes and offered an official apology,” Mushu whispered, watching the faces of the rest of the Japanese delegation. Several looked stunned, a few looked like they were about to burst into tears, and others looked furious.

“Does it count?” Nakamura asked, sounding a bit emotional himself.

“She is the Raiden Shogun, don’t get confused about that. If she says it, it’s true, and no one is going to say otherwise,” Mushu growled, watching the faces of those who looked like they had murder on their minds. He didn’t think anyone here, including himself, could actually threaten Tsukuyomi, but if some fool were to try…that would be a real disaster.

What he meant, of course, was not that there would be no protests, there surely would be from Japanese right wingers and Ultranationalists, but that Ei would back her daughter’s play. He had no idea what had brought this on, but Ei wasn’t going to second guess Tsukuyomi on this. This was, after all, why she had created her daughter in the first place: to be her body and voice to the world.

“I…see. Well, I’ll start damage control then. It’s a good thing this is your last stop because this is the equivalent of detonating a live bomb in the middle of a government meeting,” Nakamura said, his tone tight.

Anger flared in Mushu, and he snarled, “Do you disagree? Do you think Japan did nothing wrong?”

“I’m not an idiot, young man. I know perfectly well that Japan committed horrors during the Second World War. I have also long been of the private opinion that if we wanted to truly normalize relations in South East Asia, a few carefully worded apologies would be a good place to start. But I also knew that even as Prime Minister, it would be political suicide for me to do so, and likely tantamount to actual suicide. I wouldn’t have lasted a week before someone tried to kill me. Raiden can get away with it, because, well, she is Raiden. But it’s not going to be pretty.”

Mushu tensed further, though he did feel slightly relieved that Nakamura wasn’t a racist old codger who thought Japan could do no wrong. “You think there will be assassination attempts?”

“Think nothing. I know for a fact there will be. The only question is who will try first, and how much damage they’ll do in the process,” Nakamura said with a heavy sigh. “And, we still haven’t replaced Kenichi. The Yashiro Commission still doesn’t have a head, and they would be the ones to deal with this matter. Now it’s on our shoulders.”

“Shit. What will be the other ramifications?” Mushu said, his head spinning as he glared around the room. He DARED someone to try something while he was on watch.

“I hope she likes apologizing because there’s a long list of countries that will be wanting one and damn well do deserve one. I suggest starting with the Koreans. The Chinese can still go hang for all I care. Do them last. The loss of face will drive them up the wall.”

“I’ll talk to her, but this isn’t my arena. We’d better get her home. Put a briefing together. The good news is, this model won’t nod off half way through your lecture,” Mushu said, then hung up and went back to watching.

The press, of course, jumped at Raiden the second they were given the opportunity.

“YOUR EXCELLENCY! Is this a broad acknowledgment of Japanese War Crimes?”

“Eternity is not simply for the present or the future. It stretches also into the past. To deny the past, is to deny Eternity.”

That was a complete non-answer and had the press yelling even louder, but Tsukuyomi calmly pointed to another reporter.

“Why the sudden reversal of historical Japanese policy regarding apologizing for actions during the Second World War?”

“While I have always been the Narukami Oshogu and the true ruler of Japan, in my absence, certain actions were taken that cannot be countenanced. As I more firmly grasp the policies of this day and age, corrections will be made to errors previous governments have made.”

“How do you think the people of Japan will react to their ruler openly apologizing for Japan’s past actions?”

“The people of Japan have acknowledged me as the Narukami Oshogu and Raiden Shogun. If they wish to truly embrace Eternity, then they must walk the path I have set before them.”

“Will you apologize to other nations?”

Tsukuyomi looked to Mushu, her expression blank, and he stepped forward. “That’s all the questions for now. We have a flight to catch back to Tokyo. Direct further questions to the Kanjou Commission.”

There were more shouted questions, but when Mushu grew a full meter in height and snorted lightning, the reporters backed off. He shrunk back down and shooed everyone else away from Raiden’s limo. “Get a ride some other way. We’re having a private talk.”

Slamming the door, Mushu signaled the driver, and the limo pulled away. He rolled up the security screen between the driver and passenger compartment, and turned to Tsukuyomi, though she still wore the form of her mother, naturally.

“You run this by Ei?” he asked.

“There is no need. We would be of one mind on this,” she responded.

Mushu mulled that over, and largely had to agree. Or at the very least, Ei wouldn’t care enough to contradict Tsu. “Any particular reason you decided to pull this stunt now?”

“Singapore would have demanded further concessions and refused to sign the treaty. A few words cheaply bought the necessary goodwill, and gave us another ally who will open up their markets to our goods, further pressuring other regional powers.”

“Cheap, huh?” Mushu sighed and leaned back. “Let me get this straight now: I think what you did was probably the right thing. I’m a halfu, so I know damn well that Japan is a proud bunch of assholes who won’t admit what they did in the past was not just wrong, it was fucking evil. So I’m not going to tell you off for doing the right thing. What I will ask is if you fully understand that you just set off a powder keg at home. People are gonna be pissed. Nakamura thinks there will be assassination attempts. I agree.”

Raiden’s eyes flashed, and thunder rumbled overhead. “Let them brave the Lightning’s Glow. We shall see who survives.”

“A cute sentiment, but it ain’t that easy. You’ve barely stabilized your government. You can rule through fear for a time, but that’s not how you’ve been operating. You’ve risen to power because the Japanese adore you and think you can do no wrong. But this? This is gonna change some minds. Are you ready for that?”

Raiden was silent, and for a moment, she looked weary, ancient. Mushu half wondered if it was really Tsu, or her mother he was speaking to. “My mother plans for something. What it is, I think you know. For that, we shall need allies and a united nation. I must build a foundation for the fortress that must weather the coming storm for her.  And I cannot build that upon the lies festering at the heart of Japan, nor allow them to poison our relations with our neighbors.”

“Yeah. I can see that,” Mushu said, nodding slowly. He reached out a hand and patted Tsu on the shoulder. “You did good, kid. I’ll have your back every inch of the way.”

Tsu smiled at him, a faint curving of her lips. “Of that, I had no doubt, Uncle. We shall face the coming storm together.”

Mushu nodded, and leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes. Seven hours. Seven hours until he had to face the shitstorm in Tokyo. He desperately wanted to see Keiga, to plan their life together. But he also wanted to make sure the world for his kid was going to be a better one than the world he’d been born into.

And ultimately, he did trust Raiden. Whether Tsukuyomi or Ei. They were the leaders of Japan, and they were doing a damn good job of it. It was just his job to make sure they didn’t lose the faith of the nation they were supposed to lead.

The Man From Azkaban: The Game is Afoot!

Chapter 3.03 The Game is Afoot

“Thank you all for coming, and welcome to the first meeting of the House Points Fraud Protection Committee,” Kazuma said, raising a teacup to his guests.

Ginny snorted and scooped several biscuits onto her plate, sticking one in her mouth and speaking around it. “You said you had something important to discuss, Kazuma. I’m all for free food, but what’s this about House Points?”

“Do you think the other guys are gonna cheat?” Dust asked, his eyes growing nearly as wide as his biscuit-stuffed cheeks as he sprayed crumbs over the tablecloth.

For his part, Draco glared at the guests. “You’re both purebloods. You should act like it. Sit up, and don’t talk with your mouth full!”

“Says the only child,” Ginny said, and Dust nodded seriously in agreement.

“He’s not an only child now, I’m trying to train him but it’s rough going. You wouldn’t believe how long his showers are, or how many hair care potions he has,” Kazuma said conspiratorially.

They were sitting on the veranda of Malfoy Manor, at a round table with an immaculate green cloth with a white lace overlay, upon which rested a full silver tea set with the Malfoy crest emblazoned on it. The tea cups did have real tea, but the biscuits that Dobby was serving were Oreos and Walkers.

“Well, perhaps your hair wouldn’t look such a mess if you’d listen to mum and try some of the potions she’s gotten you!” Draco spluttered, going red in the face.

“Yeah Kazuma, do you think hair this good happens naturally?” Dust said, rubbing his knuckles through Draco’s hair and causing the other boy to flinch and slap at him.

“Well at least you could use some deodorant charms, all of you,” Ginny said, which caused all three of her minions to pause and not so surreptitiously sniff their pits. “Well, spit it out. I want to beat my brothers again this year as much as the rest of you do.”

“No, no, no. You see, I’ve figured it out,” Kazuma said, tapping his temple with a finger. “The points are a lie.”

“No, I’m pretty sure they’re not, they got magic jars with the marbles in them and everything,” Dust said, his brow furrowing in confusion.

“I’m not saying the points don’t actually exist, moron! I’m saying that the professors are lying to US!” Kazuma said, stabbing the table with his finger dramatically.

“You think someone’s cheating the system?” Draco asked, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t see how that’s a bad thing, seeing as how Slytherin keeps winning.”

“Yeah, if the system’s rigged in your favor, don’t mess with it,” Ginny agreed.

Sighing and giving his companions a sad smile, Kazuma shook his head. “You poor, blind fools. I can see they’ve pulled the wool over your eyes too. Once, I was lost, blind, as you are now. Well, I’m here to open your eyes, and show you the TRUTH.”

“No, I got pretty good eyesight, mine was checked by a mediwitch last week!” Dust said brightly.

“I’m speaking metaphorically!” Kazuma snapped.

“You’re speaking out of your arse,” Ginny snorted, but she looked intrigued. “Do go on though.”

“I will. Now, look. To earn the House Cup, we have to work hard, right? Turn in our assignments, bust our butts to answer questions, tidy up places, and kiss up to teachers and prefects. And what do we get for that?” Kazuma demanded.

“A cake!” Dust said happily, taking another Oreo. “I like cake!”

“No, dumbarse! We’d get a cake at the end of the year no matter what!” Kazuma snapped. “Heck, if my plan works out, I’ll BUY you a cake at the end of the year!”

“That’s not true, the cake would be hideously decorated in something tacky, like red or yellow at the end of the year,” Draco said, wrinkling his nose. “Plus, we get a sense of Pride and Accomplishment by working so hard.”

“Hold on,” Ginny said, her eyes narrowing. “Are you going where I think you’re going with this?”

“To the bakery?” Dust guessed. Everyone else turned and looked at him, their expressions baffled and slightly annoyed. “What? That’s where you get cake from!”

“Don’t be thick, Dust,” Ginny snapped. “Kazuma just realized something.”

“And what’s that?” Draco asked, rolling his eyes. “Because this sounds like another of his ‘brilliant’ plans that gets us all in trouble!”

“What?! My plans always work!” Kazuma protested, putting a hand over his heart and looking mortally offended.

Now it was Kazuma’s turn to collect glares of ire.

“What about the time we got knocked out by our own potion?!” Draco demanded.

“Or those stupid flying monkeys. Those were YOUR idea,” Ginny accused in a case of Younger Sibling Historical Revisionism.

“Or when we ended up facing the Dark Lord in combat!?” Dust demanded. Kazuma gave him a weird look, until Dust added, “We didn’t even get any treasure! Worst dungeon, ever.”

“Ok, I’ll give you that last one,” Kazuma sighed. “What kind of idiot makes a dungeon, but doesn’t put some sweet loot at the end?! Anyway, look. This time, it’ll work, I promise! No danger on our part, and we’ll do the same work we would have done, but this time, for a purpose! We’ll lose the House Cup!’

“What?! Are you mad?! Why would we do that!?” Draco gasped, scandalized.

“Because Kazuma has realized the House Cup is the Suck Up Cup,” Ginny said, leaning back in her chair and smirking, a look of satisfaction on her face. “And who wants to be a suck up?”

Draco and Dust blinked and exchanged horrified glances, but Kazuma beamed at Ginny. “I knew my little sister was the cutest and the smartest!”

Ginny batted her eyes at Kazuma. “Tell us our brilliant plan, onii-chan.”

And thereby firmly reestablished her ownership of the group.

“Well, it’s like this. We didn’t get squat for winning the House Cup! Sense of Pride and Accomplishment, my arse! That doesn’t put any money in the bank! No, see, here’s what we’re gonna do…”

As Kazuma laid out his plan, Dust and Draco slowly leaned forward, their looks of skepticism replaced by nods and grins. They knew what kind of person Kazuma was, they knew what happened to all of Kazuma’s supposedly clever plans. But some fools never learn.

Bagpipes blared loudly, and a knight in shining armor stepped out onto the field, helmet under her arm. “The most important part of learning to fight is physical fitness! When one is on the battlefield, mastery of arms can only take you so far! This is why you must train daily, and never slack off! So, when Sirius Black attacks again, I urge you! Prepare your bodies! But, should he penetrate your defenses, please, consider me to be your shield! Let his attacks fall against me, who has been preparing herself to face Death Eaters all her life! I can only imagine the cruel, inhuman things a man like him could do, cruelly taking virtuous young maidens captive, and subjecting them to the most vicious of jinxes and hexes. F-forcing them to endure all kinds of hardships, a-and-”

“Yeah, that’s enough, and the bagpipes are a bit much,” Hermione said, pointing her wand at the floating instruments, which thankfully fell silent. “And really, physical fitness? We’re not knights, Darkness, we’re witches! We should do research and practice spells, not do crunches and laps.”

“B-but what if Black accosts you? Surely you must be able to flee, a-and physical fitness is the key to this! A-although you could hide behind me, my shield is strong, b-but my body is stronger, and-”

“Sports are dumb and PE is lame,” Megumin said, blowing a loud raspberry. “You said we could go swimming. Why are you wearing that get up? Come on, let’s just cool off in the pond, it’s hot!”

“I-I think Darkness has a point,” Yunyun interjected. “In combat, you have to raise your dexterity and constitution if you want to be able to take an accidental hit.”

“Ha! I shall instead raise my Intelligence, and with it, the power of my Explosion Magic!” Megumin cackled. “The best defense is a good Explosion!”

“Well, there’s some merit to that, but really I think we’d best spend our time in Madam Longbottom’s library researching new spells instead of out here,” Hermione said dubiously.

All four were currently out on the grounds of Longbottom Hall, which was located on what muggles thought was an uninhabited island in the Orkney Islands. It had been a great disappointment to both Megumin and Yunyun to learn that there were, in fact, no orks in the Orkneys. They had mostly agreed to come visit Darkness for the prospect of getting in a ‘roit and proppa WAAAAAAGH, but instead had been limited to taking a dip in the pond and enjoying the actually pleasant weather (for once) in Scotland.

Going for a swim in the sea was still right out. Unseasonably warm weather even for July or not.

After some argument, Darkness finally took off her armor, and much to her embarrassment, revealed she was wearing a rather modest one-piece bathing suit underneath it. They did end up having a dip in the pond, which while cold was rather refreshing in the hot (for Scotland) weather. It was over 70 degrees in Freedom Units, or as Hermione insisted, 23C. The four girls had a marvelous time together, then dried off and did a patrol of the grounds.

In the end, they found only some fish for supper along the beach, which Megumin obtained by casting a very small (for her) blasting charm that couldn’t have been mistaken for anything bigger than a 10lbs of C4. Most of the fish were utterly pulped by the shockwave, but they did manage to scoop out several that were only stunned by the blast.

After that, they made their way to the manor house in time for afternoon tea. As they were approaching, there was a rustling in the grass, and then a pounding of feet as something larged charged at them.

“Is it an ork?” Yunyun asked hopefully, pulling out her wand.

“It’s Sirius Black!” Megumin declared, raising Chunchumaru. “BACK, FIEND, or I shall cast you down into the fiery depths from which-”

Talking is only a free action in TTRPGs and movies, so Megumin wasn’t prepared when a large black shape lunged at her out of the foliage. Darkness did manage to put herself in the way of the ‘attack’ which resulted in her being staggered backwards as something huge, black, and shaggy slammed into her.

“Ah! Back, back you monster! Ah, my face! It’s attacking my face! It…it doesn’t hurt? W-what are you… ack, stop it, stop it!” By this point, Darkness was laughing, and hugging the giant black dog that was enthusiastically licking her. Despite the fact that Darkness had really shot up over the summer, and was now close to 5’8”, the dog was easily able to put his paws on her shoulders as he licked at her.

“I didn’t know you had a dog,” Hermione said, as the other girls gathered around the big puppy. He very happily accepted their scratches and pats, sitting down and panting happily, his tongue lolling out of his mouth.

“H-he’s very handsome,” Yunyun giggled, and the dog barked happily. He was, of course, wearing a handkerchief with a red and yellow ohia print on it, and was a great shaggy hound.

“Blackie? Where’d you go, boy?” a familiar voice called.

All four girls froze. “How’d she figure out so fast?!” Yunyun hissed.

“It’s the fuzz, cheese it!” Megumin shouted, and she, Yunyun, and Hermione bravely fled as Tonks approached them, Blackie barking happily and chasing after them as they fled into the small woods behind them.

Darkness, being of firm conviction and of just moral character, stood her ground, looking contrite as Tonks ambled over.

“I-it’s my fault, Ms. Tonks,” Darkness stammered, looking down in shame. “I-I should have stopped them…”

“Oh bloody hell, what did Megs blow up now?” Tonks muttered. She tapped her throat with her wand and shouted, “OI, GET BACK HERE! I’M NOT HERE TO TELL YOU OFF THIS TIME YOU BUNCH OF DELINQUENTS!”

After several assurances that they wouldn’t be grounded for the remainder of the summer, the three Dark Ladies in Training reappeared with Blackie on their heels.

“I’m just here for the party,” Tonks said in exasperation. “Or did you forget you invited me, Megs?”

“Um, no, definitely not,” Megumin lied, her hand resting on Blackie’s back. “Is this your dog?”

“Mine, actually. Happy Birthday, Miss Potter.”

Tonks turned as a man walked up to them, dressed in a tan suit and tie. She smiled and put her hand on his back. “This is Remus Lupin, my-”

“EEEEEEEEEE!” All tweens shrieked, their eyes dancing with delight. “YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND!?”

“Er, uh, well-” Lupin stammered, which earned gasps and sighs from the girls.

“Just a friend, for now,” Tonks said with a wink. “He’s going to be your new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor.”

Hermione pursed her lips and looked Lupin up and down. “Do you actually know how to teach, or are you another fraud?”

“Hermione!” Darkness gasped in horror, her face going even redder than it already was from all the sun.

“Heh heh heh,” Megumin chuckled, reaching into the bundle of clothes she was carrying and plucking out an eye patch, which she slipped on. “And who is this who dares approach me? Do you really think that you are qualified to train a Crimson Demon in the Dark Arts?! Know that I am MEGUMIN! Foremost Genius of the Crimson Demon Clan, and Mistress of Explosion Magic, the mightiest spell in the entire world!”

“A-and I’m Yunyun! Um, I’m also in the Crimson Demon Clan, w-wielder of Light of Saber,” Yunyun said, smiling sweetly. “I-I hope we can be friends!”

“P-please excuse my friends, sir,” Darkness said, bowing. “We look forward to having you as our teacher!”

Tonks sighed and put her head in her hands, but Lupin barked out a laugh while Blackie danced around Megumin and barked excitedly. “You are your parents' daughter, I see! That was exactly how Lily introduced herself to me back in the day.”

“Oh? Then you are yet another mysterious figure from my past, here to instruct me in the ways to battle my hated Nemesis, Sirius Black, at my darkest hour?” Megumin demanded, striking as dramatic a pose as possible when you were wet from swimming and carrying a bundle of clothes.

“I don’t know about mysterious, but I am here to help you with your Sirius problem,” Lupin said, glancing down at his dog.

For his part, Blackie sat down by Megumin and barked once, then thumped his tail on the ground.

“Puns are the lowest sort of humor, you know,” Hermione said, clearly already mentally putting Lupin under the “worthless” category of Defense teachers.

“Well, I am here to offer some help, and also give my goddaughter a birthday present, though I suppose that will have to wait until after the party, eh?” Lupin said with a grin.

“I will accept your tribute as my due,” Megumin said with ponderous dignity, or at least as much as someone with a fake eyepatch can have anyway.

The girls went inside the house to get cleaned up for the party and came down to find Ron had arrived. As a boy, he obviously hadn’t been invited to the sleepover the night before, as there were some things he just wouldn’t understand thanks to the infirmity of his gender.

“Happy Birthday, Megumin!” Ron called, waving cheerily. He blushed and held up a present, wrapped sloppily in Sunday funnies. “It’s not much, but I got you something.”

“I accept your tribute, as is my due. You may put it with the rest,” Megumin decreed, gesturing airily to a table that was already piled with several presents.

“Hi Megumin!” Aqua called, waving from the table where she was sitting with the adults, who aside from Chris were under some serious delusions as to her maturity level. “When are Kazuma and Dust getting here?”

“Why would I invite Kazutrash and his minion?” Megumin sneered and sat down at the table. “Well, I am here! PRESENT ME WITH TRIBUTE TO SATE MY HUNGER!”

“YOUNG WOMAN!” Augusta Longbottom thundered back, the stuffed vulture perched on her hat glaring at Megumin despite its advanced state of decay. “In this house, we have MANNERS. I will give you some license as it is your birthday, but you are a young lady, not a quidditch hooligan!”

“Ha! A Crimson Demon’s will is unbending, and unending!” Megumin cackled as Darkness cringed back and the rest of her companions slowly backed away from her, while Ron found pressing business in the lavatory. “We have no manners, save those of CONQUEST! If you think to match wits with me, then-”

“-thank you all for coming, I’m very pleased to see you,” Megumin said meekly several minutes later, bowing to the assembled party guests.

“Can we just leave her here?” Vernon asked Petunia. “That old harridan will sort her out right quick.”

“My son was much your age, Vernon, and I would have no issue sorting out YOU,” Augusta said sweetly. She beamed at Megumin. “Thank you, young lady. You may be seated.”

Megumin looked uncertain at that prospect but eased herself into her seat with a wince.

“Now, let’s have some cake!” Augusta said and clapped her hands. Two house elves ran out, bearing a giant carrot cake, artfully decorated with glowing red eyes, and a mushroom cloud on top with Megumin posing dramatically before it.

“It’s perfect,” Megumin said, tears of joy filling her eyes. “Thank you.”

“I-I decorated it myself. Um, with help from Flowers and Greggle,” Darkness said, blushing.

“Mistress is too kind,” the male house elf, who was dressed in what looked like canvas from an old bit of sail. “Greggle was barely doing anything! Happy Birthday, Great Mistress Potter!”

“Thank you,” Megumin said politely. “NOW, LET THE FEAST-”

Augusta shot Megumin a glare, and the volume immediately dropped to an acceptable level.

“Um, let’s eat.”

“Do you take students for charms?” Petunia asked Augusta as the cake was served. “I don’t mean the magical kind, you know, the sort for young ladies.”

“Why, I’d be delighted. Lalatina could use some classmates when I teach her lessons in manners,” Augusta said, earning a look of horror from Megumin behind her back and a blush from Darkness.

“C-can I come too?” Yunyun asked hopefully, which earned her appalled looks from Megumin and Darkness both.

“Of course dear. Every class needs a model student,” Augusta said with a gentle smile.

Megumin quietly vowed revenge. Not out loud, of course. Not where Augusta could hear her.

After the greatest display of table manners in Megumin’s short life, the table was cleared by the house elves and the presents were brought out. Megumin went at the first one like a rabid woodchuck on a log, until there was a disappointed, “Hem hem.”

Then she very carefully and neatly removed the rest of the wrappings while blushing and pointedly not looking at Augusta Longbottom.

“I, uh, I know you like potions, so,” Ron said, blushing at his obviously second-hand present. “It Bill’s, but, uh, I don’t use it so…”

“Ah ha! A collection of the finest alchemical ingredients and a real bronze cauldron for advanced potioneering!” Megumin said gleefully, rubbing her hands in excitement as her eyes glowed. “With this, I shall be able to concoct the finest of brews! Quickly, Ronald, fetch me a burner and some water! We shall begin the Fyrebreathe Elixir, a powerful brew that grants-”

“It’s quite rude to ignore the rest of your gifts, young lady. Potions after the party,” Augusta stated firmly. “And what do we say to those who give us gifts?”

“Thank you,” Megumin muttered, then hopped out of her chair and grabbed Ron in a surprisingly strong hug for someone of her slender frame. “I love it!”

Ron was blushing furiously, but he didn’t look the least bit put out as he muttered, “It’s not that great.”

“Only because it has yet to be used by a TRUE genius of the potioneer’s art!” Megumin cackled.

“You keep using that word. Have you looked in the dictionary?” Hermione inquired in falsely sweet tones.

“Don’t be rude, young woman. It’s her birthday, let her have her fun,” Augusta harrumphed.

Hermione rolled her eyes, and though her head was facing away from Augusta, the matriarch of the Longbottom clan clucked her tongue. “Perhaps I should inquire with your parents if YOU need charms lessons, Miss Granger.”

“No, I’m very charming!” Hermione squeaked, looking mortified at the thought.

The rest of the presents were all greeted with over the top declarations of enthusiasm, though no one else earned themselves a happy hug, which made Ron feel odd and strange, as he was now 13 and like most people that age, very confused about things.

The last present to be opened was Lupins, and by that point even glares from Augusta were not enough to prevent a frenzy of ripping as Megumin shredded the paper within, she found a large leatherbound photo album, with gold lettering on it.

Messrs, Moony, Padfoot, Wormtail & Prongs,

&

Mlle Crimson,

PRESENT

MARAUDERS: THE ALBUM

On the cover, five young people grinned and winked. The girl had bright red frizzy hair, while one of the boys was tall and slender with glasses and green eyes, next to a nervously looking boy with buck teeth and dark blond hair. The others were a shy looking boy with freckles and light brown hair, the other pale and dark but with a mischievous grin on his face. All of them were in Gryffindor Robes, looked to be about 16, and were holding up the Quidditch Cup.

Megumin’s hands were trembling, and there were tears in her eyes. Yunyun had come over to crouch next to Megumin and hug her, and Darkness came over as well, resting her head on Megumin’s shoulder.

Putting her hand on Megumin’s, Darkness said, “It’s OK. We’re here with you.”

Sniffing and nodding, Megumin wiped at her eyes and looked across the table to a concerned looking Lupin. “T-thank you. I…I see you did know my parents…”

“I did,” he said quietly, giving Megumin a gentle smile. “They would have wanted you to have this.”

Nodding, Megumin opened up the photo album. The first picture that caught her eye made her gasp, and she pointed to a picture of a dour looking boy with a sallow complexion who was holding up a Hogwarts acceptance letter alongside a gap-toothed girl who had one of her own. Unlike most of the other photos, this one didn’t move, and had been taken with a polaroid. “Professor Snape?!”

Petunia craned her long neck over and spied the picture. She smiled, wiping away a tear of her own as she rubbed Megumin’s back. “Yes. He grew up with us. I was the one who took this particular picture, all those years ago…”

Megumin nodded, feeling her throat close up as she paged through the pictures. Most of them were of her mum and dad, though the four other boys appeared frequently as well. A suspicion began to grow in her, and she held up a picture to Lupin. “Is one of these the man who murdered my parents!?”

“Yes,” Lupin said seriously. “Turn to the back.”

Hastily, Megumin did, and there she found a letter on parchment taped to the back cover.

Our dearest daughter,

If you are reading this, then the Dark Prophecy has come to pass, and all our rituals and attempts to prevent this fate have failed. Not even the goddesses could prevent this event, which they referred to as ‘one of the stations of the canon’ and an immutable part of our world.

Still, by our deaths, we hope to arm you for the future, and that you will take up arms, and avenge our deaths!

For you see, Megumin, we did not die merely at the hand of Voldemort, nor by the whims of luck.

No. There was a traitor among us.

We know not his name, as we have been rotating the Secret Keeper, but he is one of our dearest friends. It is up to you, Megumin, to solve this mystery and to bring the man who betrayed us to Justice!

Do not show this album to anyone but your most trusted companions! You must uncover the mystery behind our deaths, reveal the traitor, and seize your destiny with both hands!

Your loving parents,

Lily The Crimson Fox, and James the Incredible Prongs

Attached to the letter was a picture of a grinning woman with bright red hair, standing next to a beaming man with dark hair and green eyes who had on gold-rimmed spectacles. They were holding a little girl with a thick mop of dark hair and glowing red eyes in a pink onesie, standing in front of a fireplace. The two adults were waving happily, but when they spied Megumin looking at them, they pulled out eye patches and put them on, striking dramatic poses. Even the baby had on an eye patch and was grinning mischievously.

Megumin looked up at Lupin, but he put his fingers to  his lips and made a zipping motion. She nodded slowly, and tucked the letter away, her tears forgotten.

“It looks like things have just gotten Sirius,” she said, her eyes glowing with passion.

Beside her, Blackie thumped his tail on the ground and grinned.

Carmen Dei 14: The Musicians of Bremen

Beta’d and edited by Dr_Feelgood, The Grand Cogitator, Philosophysics, and October Daye.

Fists trembling with rage, Richard looked out over the devastation. It had been ten days since the attack on the Berlin facility, and now he stood upon the ruins of the Frankfurt facility. Walter slapped the face of Schutzstaffel, and a small explosion went off as the woman staggered. Anyone else would have had their head blown off, but her kinetic barrier had dampened the blow enough for her to survive.

“Fifteen! I gave you fifteen of our strongest capes, and what do you show me?! An entire facility, demolished!” Walter raged, gesturing to the empty ground before them. Before, this had been a top-end laboratory with hundreds of millions of marks worth of equipment and even more in specialized construction. Now it looked like an empty parking lot.

“T-there were more of them than we expected, Herr Lotus,” Schutzstaffle protested weakly. “W-we were outnumbered…”

“BY FILTHY JEWS AND HOMOSEXUALS! YOU ARE PURE BLOODED ARYANS! THE STRENGTH OF YOUR BLOOD AND THE MIGHT OF YOUR POWERS SHOULD HAVE OVERCOME THIS UNTERMENSCH FILTH!” Walter screamed, spittle spattering against Schutzstaffel’s barrier, where it fizzed and popped as it evaporated.

“I… I accept full responsibility,” Schutzstaffel stammered, head bowed in shame. She had once been the third most powerful and respected of the Gesellschaft’s leadership, with barriers that were strong enough to repel Endbringer attacks, as well as be used as offensive weapons when her foes ran into them and had all their inorganic gear shredded. Now she was dirty and clothed only in rags, with dark circles under her eyes.

Behind her, the other Gesellschaft capes were similarly in disarray, with their costumes completely destroyed, and with most of them wrapped in blankets or with oversized clothing on to hide their shame.

Putting a hand on Walter’s shoulder, Richard stepped forward. “What do you mean, more of them, outnumbered? Last time, it was this Venti and two others.”

“There were at least twenty of them this time, All Father,” Schutzstaffle explained, shifting nervously. “Not all of them were capes, but they were all parahumans. Most of them were not even from Frankfurt. Half of them we didn’t even know. They were Untermensch and race traitors, but they came out of nowhere in broad daylight. We fought back, but… they simply would not die!”

“Would not die?” Walter snorted. He pointed to another cape. “Panzerfaust should be able to blow any of them in half!”

“We attempted that, but, ah… it did not work so well,” Panzerfaust said, looking ashamed as he should. My bombs, they were thrown back at us by the wind. Schutzstaffel’s barriers mostly protected us, but…”

“Excuses! Incompetence, and excuses! You are relieved of command, Schutzstaffel,” Walter said, stomping away. “We cannot allow another of our facilities to fall!”

Richard went over with Walter as the shamed capes slunk away. Walter was red-faced and breathing hard, his eyes unfocused, his hands glowing slightly with his power. “I can lead a strike team to take down Venti, and these so-called knights.”

“Will you? Or will you fail me again?” Walter demanded, turning his baleful gaze on Richard.

In response, Richard shrugged. “If you do not believe I will succeed, I can always return to America.” A reminder that unlike most of the capes here, Richard was a natural trigger. He considered the Gesellschaft allies, but he owed no fealty.

“No. Venti is a threat to all of the Aryan Race. Even if you flee to America, will he not simply follow you one day? We must end him here, now,” Walter declared, and Richard felt an icy hand clench his gut. That was his greatest fear: That Venti would come and destroy the Empire 88 and Medhall, which Richard had worked so long and hard to build.

“Then we will stand together as brothers,” Richard said, holding out his hand. Walter took it and shook, and Richard grinned. “I will see to it that this problem vanishes into the Night and Fog.”

That earned him a grin from Walter. “Yes. A most appropriate end. I knew entrusting Herr und Frau Schmidt to you was a wise choice.”

“They’ll be here within 48 hours,” Richard vowed, and left to go make the call.

Soon, the Tone Deaf Bards would vanish, and the enemies of the Gesellschaft would remember the terror they should feel for defying the Master Race.

“... and with that, I bid you all a very fond farewell!” Venti said, waving to the crowd of parahumans that were crowding around the van.

“You’re leaving? So soon? But, what about the Knights of Favonius?” Vorreiter asked, trying to wipe the tears away. The normally bubbly woman in the goggles and red costume that looked vaguely like a rabbit had snot running down her nose as she wept, looking to Venti and Naomi with pleading eyes. “You’re supposed to lead us!”

“Yes, we were expecting you to stay, to help us continue what we started by driving those damn Nazi’s out of her city,” Rächerin agreed, offering her friend, and lover as well Capri suspected, a handkerchief. The tall Brute had the sword Venti had given her on her back, and had removed her mask, her own eyes puffy and red from her own tears.

“Oh, I’ll be around,” Venti said with a wink. “But, well, hands on management isn’t my style. I was thinking you two should run the Knights here!”

“Us?!” Vorreiter and Rächerin gasped together, pointing at themselves.

“Y-you don’t understand!” Rächerin stammered. “I, I simply desire VENGEANCE! I would make a terrible leader, I’m not at all suited-”

“-only been a cape for a few weeks! I just want to fly around and make my Baron Bunnies, not run a cape team!” Vorreiter agreed.

“Nah, you two would make great leaders!” one of the other capes said, and the others nodded in agreement, voicing their assent.

Sighing, Capri stepped forward and passed the two gobsmacked new leaders several numbers. “That’s for Leon and Gunter, who run the Munich chapter, and Cookie, who is in charge of Berlin. They can help you figure things out.”

“Uh, thanks?” Vorreiter offered, looking stunned, her tears forgotten.

In contrast, Rächerin had already collected herself, and put a hand on Vorreiter’s shoulder as she nodded. “Very well. But know this: For thrusting this duty upon me, I swear ETERNAL VENGEANCE upon you, Venti Luft!”

“Ha ha! I’ll keep that in mind,” Venti said, winking at Rächerin playfully. “If you need something, call for me upon the wind! Even if I’m not here in body, I’m always with you in spirit.”

Rächerin nodded, but Vorreiter looked nervous. “So, you really are…?”

“He is the Anemo Archon,” Capri said with all the gravitas she could muster when she was in her stupid costume. She felt half naked in the stupid thing, but everyone else was dressed up in their Adventure PJs, so she went along with it. “He’s like Raiden.”

“He’s the Angel of Freedom,” Naomi added hastily. “He says he’s not really Elohim, just one of His angels.”

“An Old Testament one,” Capri agreed. Which earned her an eye roll from Naomi.

“Aw, you’re making me blush! Anyway, Barbatos is the Anemo Archon and all that, but really! I’m just a Tone Deaf Bard!”

Rächerin was the first to kneel again, as she had before, her sword thrust point down into the ground, piercing the asphalt like it was made of soft loam. Her sword was much more functional looking than Capri’s, though it was still comically oversized, with a silver inlaid guard and pommel, and while the blade looked like it was steel, the metal had a sheen on it that was unearthly, especially when it was being used in combat.

“Then know this, Lord of Anemo. I and these brave Knights of Favonius of the Frankfurt Chapter do pledge our eternal fealty, to spread Freedom as far as the Wind blows, and to safeguard this city and its people, for as long as we still draw breath.”

The others made to kneel as well, but Venti clucked and gestured for them to stand. “Aw come on, I already told you! I’m not that kind of god! I want people to stand beside me, not kneel before me! So stand and be proud, Knights of Favonius!”

And so they did, albeit still saluting in various forms much to Venti’s weary smile.

With that, it really was time to leave, and with one final goodbye, Capri put on her jacket and got into the van. Naomi climbed in beside her, while Venti got into the back. They drove off, with the newly anointed Knights of Favonius (Frankfurt Chapter) waved behind them.

After a minute or two of driving, Capri looked into the mirror to see Venti looking out of the window, watching the other cars go by as she turned onto the highway. His eyes were unfocused, his expression almost mournful. “Shouldn’t you be happy? We kicked ass, and we recruited a whole bunch of new people. You sorted this city’s shit out in just a few days, just like in Berlin and Munich.”

“Hmm? Oh, yes, great work! Plus, our performances were pretty rocking, weren’t they?” Venti said with a laugh, but Capri could tell his heart wasn’t in it.

“What’s wrong, Venti?” Naomi asked, turning around in her seat to meet the bard’s eyes. “You seem melancholy.”

“Oh, I was just listening in,” Venti said with a heavy sigh. “Walter and Richard, that is, Red Lotus and Allfather, they were talking. We defeated the Gesellschaft, but, well… they didn’t learn. They’re going to keep coming after us, keep attacking. I don’t want this to turn into a bloodbath, but…”

“Venti, you know I love you, but,” Naomi sighed, and Capri could just see that she was biting her lip in that cute way she had when she was royally pissed, even though Naomi’s back was to her. “They’re Nazis. I don’t really approve of killing people, but if they’re Nazis…”

“Then it doesn’t count as murder, it counts as doing the world a fucking favor,” Capri agreed fervently.

“Exactly. You know the Torah, right?” Naomi prompted Venti.

“Well, I didn’t write it, but yes, I’m familiar,” Venti joked. The sudden chill in the air made him cough a moment later. “Sorry, wasn’t trying to offend you.”

“I’m sure,” Naomi said, her tone still cool. “But, what’s written in Shemot, what the Christians call the Book of Exodus? ‘You shall not murder.’ And killing Nazi’s is not murder. They’re evil, Venti. You know that.”

That prompted a heavy sigh. “I do. But… they’re also mortal. Death is…well, it’s not permanent so to speak, but, well…it is the end in this world. And I’d rather give them a chance to repent, to make amends.”

“Don’t waste your breath on those fucks,” Capri said, glaring at Venti in the mirror. “Listen to Naomi. They’re Nazis. The solution is to kill them.”

“You really should have let us just finish Schutzstaffel off. She burned down two synagogues and a catholic church, you know,” Naomi lectured. “She’s beyond redemption.”

“You know, for how much you insist I’m an angel, I would think you’d argue with me about forgiveness and mercy a little less,” Venti said, his tone wry.

Sniffing, Naomi turned around and sat back in her seat. “Well, you clearly haven’t read the same rabbis I have.”

“I suppose I haven’t. But I’m not wrong about this. Freedom is the right to choose. You both need to understand that,” Venti urged, leaning back in his seat and closing his eyes as if in pain.

“And they freely chose to be nazis. So they die,” Capri snarled, starting to get really angry now. “Didn’t you have really evil people back in Mondstadt, or wherever it is you came from?”

“Yes,” Venti said quietly, looking down at his hands. “And when I smote their cities and broke their bodies upon the winds, even they begged for mercy. But I did not listen. I’ve had to live with their screams of pain and agony, with the blood of their children, upon my hands for 2000 years now. Forgive me if I am not so eager to wipe out another civilization for its sins. Did not Elohim tell Abraham that he would spare even Sodom and Gomorrah if there were but ten righteous men?”

“But He could not find ten righteous men, and He DID destroy Sodom and Gomorrah,” Naomi pointed out.

“Not until Lot left,” Venti said, clenching his fists in a quiet vow. “And I won’t destroy the Gesellschaft until I’m absolutely certain that not a single one of them can still be saved.”

That went way beyond Capri’s knowledge of religion, and she shot Naomi a questioning look. Naomi sighed and nodded her head. “I have heard that argument before…”

“Great! Well, just trust me on this. I won’t let the Gesellschaft continue their wicked ways, and I certainly won’t let them keep any fragments of dead gods. But I will save all of them that I can,” Venti said, then lay down in the seat, not even bothering with the belt. “Now, I’m taking a nap. Head for Bremen! There’s another lab there.”

“That’s four and a half hours! Do you have any idea how much gas costs?!” Capri protested, looking in the mirror at the napping Archon in horror.

“Naomi can handle it, she has the money from Cookie,” Venti yawned, pulling his mask off and grabbing his hat from somewhere, which he proceeded to use to cover his eyes.

“Um, I ah, I sort of…” Naomi winced, and looked over at Capri.

“I SAW you give that cash to Vorreiter to help them set up their headquarters,” Capri growled. But then she relented. “It was the right thing to do though. But it means we’re nearly broke again.”

Venti cranked down the window, which made Capri swear as the wind blew through the van, whipping papers and making her hair a tangled mess. Then a 100 mark note flew through the window and pressed itself against Naomi’s face, causing her to gasp. Venti rolled the window back up.

“Eh, I’m sure the Gesellschaft won’t mind buying us gas and some food,” Venti yawned. Then the cheeky little bastard started snoring.

“Put that in my wallet,” Capri ordered, and Naomi sighed and obliged her.

“Manna from heaven,” Naomi giggled. “It’s like living stories from the Torah, out in the desert with Moses.”

“Yeah, well, I wish that he’d tell me he could do shit like that,” Capri muttered, though she couldn’t help smiling as she drove. “We’ll stop in Echte, there’s a little kebab shop there I like. And yes, they have kosher options. The falafel is great.”

Naomi beamed at Capri. “I wasn’t even going to ask.”

After a stop at the admittedly excellent kebab place, they drove the rest of the way to Bremen, though Capri still wasn’t sure what the plan actually was.

“So, we’re broke again, and we have Nazis to fight. What exactly should we do? Because we’re too broke to even afford another tank of gas once we buy dinner. So unless you plan on pulling in more 100 mark notes, I think we have to find a gig,” Capri told Venti as they rolled into the city.

“Well, we should always start with that! Besides, even if we clear out the Nazis, the city will need the Knights of Favonius to keep it safe once we’re gone,” Venti said with a grin. “Plus, I’d like to do a little sight seeing as well in our spare time.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard, we’ve played here before. Should we hit up your friend Chaim? His theater wasn’t a bad place to play, and maybe they’ve heard of the Tone Deaf Bards by now,” Capri suggested to Naomi.

“Sure! I’ll give him a call,” Naomi agreed, pulling out her cell phone.

Half an hour later, they pulled up to a theater near the center of the city. Once, it had been a very fine building, but there were signs of dilapidation, and a few windows that had been broken recently, as well as freshly painted walls that showed where the graffiti had been. It was only the middle of the afternoon, but there were a few cars at the rear of the building where Capri parked.

They all hopped out of the van and went to knock on the rear entrance, which after a few moments was pushed open by a woman in her 30s wearing glasses and with modest unremarkable clothes, which only accentuated how shockingly beautiful her features were. Upon seeing Capri and Naomi, she broke into a smile and came out to give them a hug.

“Shavua Tov!” the woman said, hugging Naomi and kissing her on the cheek.

“Gam lech!” Naomi responded, returning the kiss.

“Capri! So good to see you again, welcome, welcome!”

“Good to see you again too, Malka,” Capri said, giving the woman a tight hug.

“And who is this?” Malka asked, turning to Venti.

“Venti Luft, at your service,” he said, giving Malka a sweeping bow.

“Well please, come on, come in! I know it’s Shabbas, but well, Elohim will forgive us, yes?” Malka said, ushering them inside.

Within, they found a plain looking man with a neatly trimmed brown beard and glasses. Capri noted the gun Chaim set down to come over to them and exchange greetings with them.

“That bad, huh?” she asked Chaim, nodding to the weapon. “We saw the broken windows.”

“Yes,” Chaim said, his expression falling. “I… I’m going to have to close the theater. I can’t keep up with the attacks. We scared off one arsonist last night. They know it’s the sabbath, and they attack us even then. Our children are with my mother, but…”

“She’s talking about leaving for Israel again,” Malka said, her face sagging in weariness. Capri noted the dark circles under her eyes, and that the other woman looked far more haggard and worn than she had the last time they’d met. “This time… I think we might have to accept.”

“Have there been any Gesellschaft?” Venti asked, his tone serious as he eyed the room.

“Thank heavens, no, but-”

“Chaim! Who’s there?” a man’s voice called, and a young man with long brown hair poked his head in. “Oh! Capri, Naomi, what are you two doing in town? I thought you left while the getting was good!”

“No, we’re not running off, Thomas,” Capri said firmly. “We’re looking for a place to play, actually.”

“Well, keep looking. We’re basically toast. I just came to help scare off the skinheads. We haven’t had a show or a play in weeks. Everyone keeps canceling,” Thomas said with a sigh. He waved to Venti. “Hello! I’m just one of the hopeless thespians that can’t let this place go. You a friend of Naomi and Capri’s?”

“Indeed, I have joined their merry band,” Venti agreed. “We heard of this excellent theater, and figured you needed some bards to bring in the crowds!”

“I told you, we’re closing. There’s a buyer coming in on Monday,” Chaim said with a shake of his head. “I’m already looking to sell all of our possessions, or just leave them. They were right, you know. Well, I’m not sticking around to see what happens this time. We all know what happened the last time these sorts got into power.”

“Ah, don’t be like that, things will get better! Not everyone has forgotten,” Thomas said, though his spirit wasn’t in it, and the young man looked deeply saddened.

“Have they?” Malka asked, sounding bitter. “Frederick joined the Land and Social Labor Reform Party. Called us a pair of filthy kikes. I’m half convinced it was him that Chaim winged last night trying to set the fire.”

“Well, that stops now that we’re here,” Capri said, making a fist. “We’re putting on a show, just to prove those bastards wrong!”

“What? That’s madness! Capri, these men are dangerous! You, Naomi, you should go to Israel too! If a rabbi endorses your partnership, they’ll let you both in. We could go together,” Malka urged.

“Not as dangerous as we are,” Naomi said, and drew her vision out of her purse. That earned gasps of shock from Chaim and Malka, while Thomas’ eyes grew wide, and he took a step forward.

“You’re a cape!? That’s crazy! But, maybe… you could turn things around for this place! With a cape on our side, we could-”

“She’d end up like David did! Trying to be a hero and dying! The Gesellschaft would hunt her down!” Chaim snapped. He turned to Capri. “Please, you have to talk her out of it! You’ve always had a good head on your shoulders. You know, Capri. The Romani have it nearly as bad as-”

“I’m not here for the suffering olympics. I’m here to kick Nazi ass,” Capri declared, and drew electro about her arms as she summoned forth Skyward Pride. She didn’t slam it down into the floor though, feeling Cookie’s ghostly glare, but let the tip rest on the old wooden boards of the floor.

Chaim made a choking sound, while Thomas laughed and clapped his hands. Malka looked concerned, but shook her head. “No, even with the two of you… I’m scared, Naomi. You saw what happened to David, when he started calling himself Magen and going out… they say it was just a normal cape fight, but the Gesellschaft went after him!”

“Things are different this time,” Naomi said with a shake of her head. “We’re not alone. Elohim has broken his silence, Malka.”

“What!? How can you say such things?! The rabbis, they would-”

Be not afraid, Malka.

The air in the room hummed, Barbatos hovered between Capri and Naomi, his wings filling the entire room. There was a loud thud as Thomas fell to his knees, his mouth open wide. Malka and Chaim clung to one another, unable to speak for several moments. Chaim’s throat bobbed up and down as he tried to speak, and Malka was trembling all over. After a few moments, however, she swallowed. Smoothing her skirts, she stepped forward.

“Ah, no offense, messenger… but haven’t you taken your sweet time!? Where were you three years ago?! You could have put a stop to this by putting your foot down when David was trying to change things, or five years ago when Behemoth attacked! I’ve got a thing or two to say about this, and if you think you can just show up now and have us just act as though everything is fine, you’ve got another thing coming!”

“M-malka!” Thomas gasped, “He’s… he’s an… an…”

“Angel,” Naomi said firmly. “Don’t argue with a messenger from heaven, Malka.”

“Oh, you just see if I don’t, Naomi Cohen! And you, Mr Venti Luft! Trying to sneak in here and just put on a concert! Well, you’re supposed to have a great big sword-”

“Bow, actually,” Barbatos said, a look of clear amusement on the slightly glowing divine face. “But do continue.”

“Yes, well, whatever weapons you have, why aren’t you out there, putting a stop to… oh…”

“Frankfurt,” Chaim muttered, shaking his head. “Berlin. That was… you?”

“I had some help,” Barbatos said, nodding to Capri and Naomi. “But, well, heaven works in mysterious ways, does it not?”

“Well, you could stand to be less mysterious and do a little more smiting,” Malka muttered, blushing heavily.

“That’s… sort of what the show is about,” Naomi admitted. “We’re not just here to fight the Nazis, Malka.”

“We’re here to dig them up by the roots and burn their whole house down,” Capri agreed. “And for that, we need fighters. Knights.”

“And a concert is just the way to do it,” Venti agreed. “Now, I’m going to change back. Please, Thomas, stand up. I really don’t like it when people kneel.”

“Right, ah, yes,” Thomas said, getting up on shaking needs. He looked pale, and for some reason, his hands had gone to his groin.

“You really think a concert will help? That we shouldn’t sell?” Chaim asked, stepping up as Venti went back to his mortal disguise.

“Give me a week. If you still want to leave, I’ll fly you to Israel myself,” Venti vowed. “But here’s the plan. First, we-”

“Do I— Do I need to get circumcised?” Thomas suddenly squeaked. “I, uh, well, I am sort of a Christian, but…I mean, the Jews were right, all along?”

“Thomas!” Malka gasped, rounding on him. “This isn’t a joking matter!”

“I’m not joking! If an angel came down and told you your religion was wrong, what would YOU do?!” Thomas demanded, pointing to Venti.

Naomi sniffed. “Inform him he’s mistaken and explain all the rabbinical teachings that prove it.”

Chaim and Malka nodded, and Thomas groaned.

“Uh, no, that’s, er… let’s not get the wrong impression,” Venti said with a nervous chuckle. “I, uh, well, you’re getting side tracked. No conversions necessary at this point. Besides, wasn’t Jesus Jewish too?”

“Well, I guess,” Thomas admitted, looking rather relieved. Capri went over and patted his shoulder.

“It’s OK, Venti’s sort of an idiot, but we can be goys together and he’s cool with it. Now, how about that concert?”

Stepping out of the portal, Keith extended his hand, offering a broad smile to the group waiting for him. “Vornehm, a pleasure.”

“Legend,” the gentleman cape said, clasping Keith’s hand in his own white gloved one. He turned to the woman next to him, who was dressed in a cape outfit reminiscent of a ninja outfit, though it left her midriff bare, with a mask that covered the lower half of her face and left her eyes exposed. “Allow me to introduce you to Shinobi.”

“One of the Shuumatsuban?” Keith asked, his eyebrows raising in surprise as he offered a bow. He’d thought Raiden had departed Germany more than a week ago. What was one of her wetwork agents doing here?

“Nah, I’m not one of Raiden’s, just a big fan,” the woman said in perfect English, though to Keith’s shock she had an Oxford accent of all things. She offered her hand, which Keith took.

“Well, it’s a pleasure I’m sure. It’s been too long since I’ve been in Germany, I’m afraid I don’t recall all the names of the Meisters.”

“Oh, she isn’t one of mine,” Vornehm said, stroking his mustache in amusement.

“Nope, I’m Chapter Master of the Knights of Favonius of Berlin,” Shinobi explained. “We’re an expanding team, but we have outposts in Munich and Frankfurt already.”

“I see, I was briefed on that, actually,” Keith said with a smile. So, this was Katherine ‘Cookie’ Schmidt then, one of the people who’d been spotted in Venti’s company. Her file said she was an electrical Vision holder, and had spent a brief time as a rogue cape a few years ago before suddenly returning to civilian life, only to then take her Vision back up after meeting with Venti.

“I think she’s probably the one you’re more interested in speaking with, so I invited her to our meeting. Hope you don’t mind,” Vornehm said with a nod to Shinobi.

Keith shook his head. “No, not at all, I’m grateful. The PRT is rather interested in the Knights of Favonius, and Venti in particular.”

“Aren’t we all?” Vornehm said with an amused smile. “Ah, but where are my manners? Come, come, I have refreshments prepared in a meeting room. Just this way.”

The headquarters of the Meisters was located in a grand old building in Berlin, with a statue at the center of the lobby that depicted Brunhilda and Beowulf, along with several other capes from the predecessor team, the Mächtige. After the near total destruction of Germany’s heroic capes, Vornhemn had formed the Meisters with a few of the survivors of Colgonge. There hadn’t been many, and most of them had died from radiation poisoning and cancer by now. Despite the bright lighting and fine decorations, it was a sobering reminder of the hazards of being a hero.

“I would have come sooner, but we had another attack by the Slaughterhouse Nine to deal with,” Keith said, feeling a pang. They’d lost three more heroes in that battle, for the price of Virulent and Cacophony. Three of theirs, two of the Nines. But not Jack or Siberian. The Nine would be quiet for a time, only to reemerge with two more monsters, possibly even worse than the ones that had been defeated at such a high cost.

“Ah, I heard about that. Nasty business in Houston,” Vornehm said with a grimace. “They’re basically your version of the Blasphemies. I’ve battled them often enough.”

“Someday we’ll put them down for good,” Keith said with a tired smile, but he didn’t feel it. Right now, he was just tired. He wanted to be home with Arthur and Keith, resting and spending time with his family. This was important, however. This was part of what meant to be a hero.

The conference room was well lit, but instead of looking like a modern corporate office, the table was real wood, carved into shapes of leaves and forest creatures, while the chairs were old and upholstered. There was a full silver tea service on the table, along with some sandwiches and light snacks. It was quite charming, if a little eclectic, and Legend sat down with Vornehm and Shinobi.

“Tea, or coffee?” Vornehm asked, gesturing to the two steaming pots.

“Tea, please,” Keith asked, while Shinobi took coffee.

Vornehm took tea himself, then leaned back in his chair. “Well, I’m not quite sure where to start. To be honest, I don’t know Venti terribly well.”

“We didn’t have him on our radar at all; do you have any background on him?” Keith asked, though he suspected he knew the answer. Cauldron had dug around, and found essentially nothing.

“Showed up in Munich about two weeks ago. Got into a bit of a fight with a villain named Stuka defending a bar of all places,” Vornehm said with a shake of his head.

“He met a friend of mine, Red Oni, in Munich. They’re both sort of morons, but Venti has a good heart. He’s the Anemo Archon,” Shinobi said, which made Legend cough as he had been taking a sip of tea.

“Beg pardon?” Keith managed, setting his tea down and feeling a bit dizzy.

“You heard me. He’s the Anemo Archon. Just like Raiden is the Electro Archon,” Shinobi said, leaning back and draping one arm over the back of her chair as she crossed her legs.

“And…the incident where they ran all over the city for several hours?” Keith managed.

“Apparently Venti recited a bit of dirty poetry about Raiden at the Reichstag. Raiden took offense to this, and chastised him,” Vornehm supplied.

“They’re old friends, and they’re both from another dimension,” Shinobi said bluntly, causing Keith to suck in a breath. While he was still stunned, she added, “Oh and they’re gods or angels or something, not really sure.”

“I…see,” Keith said, feeling both dazed and rather dubious. “Those are rather extraordinary claims.”

“Which require extraordinary evidence,” Vornehm agreed, taking a long sip of his tea. “Raiden herself is a special case, but I am not quite willing to believe she is more than a woman with a god complex. As for Venti, from what I’ve seen, he’s a drunken clown. A powerful one, yes, but a clown.”

“Nobody ever said gods had to make sense. Look at Greece and all that nonsense with Zeus’s dick and crap,” Shinobi said with a shrug. “I haven’t even seen him go wild personally, but the stuff he knows…he’s not just a cape. And what he’s done to the Gesellschaft? I mean, we all knew they were Nazis, some of us even tried to fight them. But Venti? Venti’s winning.”

“Perhaps…I had hoped…” Keith coughed. “Well, as you may know, LGBTQ rights are something of a passion project of mine, and I had heard Venti might be an ally in that regard…”

“He’s the God of Freedom, so as long as you’re not a fascist dick he’s on your side,” Shinobi agreed, smacking her lips and setting down her empty mug. Keith blinked. When had she drained her entire cup of coffee with her mask on?

“I would be inclined to agree with your belief,” Vornehm said with a nod. “But, I think what you really desire is a face to face meeting. Shinobi, could you contact Venti to set one up?”

She shrugged and nodded. “Sure. The Tone Deaf Bards are playing in Bremen this week according to a text I got from them. That’d be as good a time as any to see what Venti’s about.”

“Certainly. I’d be happy to purchase some tickets,” Keith agreed. He lifted the briefcase he’d brought onto the table, and opened it up. “I’m here for a few hours at least, and I’d like to talk about potential future cooperation between our groups.”

“Sure. Actually, what do you know about PRT licensing agreements,” Shinobi asked.

“Ah, I’m afraid I’m not a legal expert, but…why?” Keith asked, feeling slightly mystified.

Shinobi’s eyes crinkled, and he just knew she was grinning like a cat who’d caught a mouse. “What do you know about Collectable Trading Card Games?”

Author’s Note:

Please welcome October Daye as a new beta, who will be my legal and cultural consultant for Naomi.

PHILO: I added in that one comment about Zeus and his dick. That is all.

Dark Legend of Potter: THE MAN FROM AZKABAN Chp2

3.2: How can you kill that which has no life?

There was something oddly surreal about returning to a school you’d once attended as a student as a teacher, and Remus Lupin felt an almost sense of vertigo as he looked up at the entrance to Hogwarts. He dabbed at his eyes, and rested his hand on the head of the dog at his side. “We’re home, Padfoot. After all these years…we’re really home.”

There was a thumping sound as Sirius’ tail wagged, and then Lupin felt something wet on his fingers and jerked them back. “Bloody-! Just because you are a dog doesn’t mean you have to act like one,” Remus grumbled, shaking the fingers where he’d been licked. Sirius just barked once, looking over his shoulder, and Remus turned to see a familiar face striding up the path. “Hagrid!”

“Well bless me heart, Remus Lupin! And all grown up too,” Hagrid thundered, striding forward to wrap Lupin in a hug. That really did make Lupin feel like a small child again, as while Remus was far from a short man, Hagrid overtopped him by nearly three feet, coming up only to Hagrid’s chest.

“Still the keeper of the Keys and Grounds?” Remus inquired once Hagrid let him down.

“O’ course, o’ course. And who’s this handsome chap?” Hagrid asked, kneeling down to pet Sirius, who barked happily and licked at Hagrid while dancing about like an actual dog. He really was too good at that.

“Padfoot II, though I call him Blackie most of the time,” Remus explained. “I’ve had him for quite a while now, but he still acts like a puppy most days.”

“Ah, he’s a good boy, isn’t he?” Hagrid asked, rubbing Sirius’ back. “Wolfhound?”

“Purebred Irish Wolfhound,” Remus confirmed, which was the breed that Sirius seemed to take the shape of. “He’s actually a trained Search and Rescue Dog.”

That was actually entirely true: they’d gone through the course together, which had been pathetically easy for a human in dog form once Sirius had worked out which smells to look for. That combined with some tracking charms had helped locate several lost hikers on Maui, and they’d even flown over to the Big Island and Kawaii at times to help various search and rescue efforts or even act as trainers.

“Smart lad then! Better ‘n Fang, leastways. Ruddy useless that dog is. Never earns his keep. But I keep him around anyway, he’s not bad company.”

“Ah, Hagrid, who’sss our new college?” a sultry female voice said, and Remus turned, then did his best not to stare.

While he was currently in a committed relationship and he would never be caught dead saying Tonks wasn’t the most beautiful woman on the planet, this woman was sex on legs, and sounded like it. She was tall, nearly as tall as Remus, with long dark red hair, violet eyes, high cheekbones, and a low-cut red robe that revealed generous cleavage. She had a sort of sway to her step that was hypnotizing, reminding Remus of a veela.

“This here’s Remus Lupin, a former student come back to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, seein’ as Aqua’s teachin’ history now that Binn’s has finally past on,” Hagrid explained. “Remus, this is Sylvia Syltherin, who’s gonna be teachin’ Care o’ Magical Creatures since old Kettleburn went and retired,” Hagrid explained.

Clearing his throat, Remus bowed. “Charmed, I’m sure.”

To his side, Remus was surprised when Sirius growled at Sylvia. Normally, he was a dog in every sense of the word, panting after any pretty woman, though to the best of Remus’ knowledge, it rarely went past flirting. Was he angry that Remus was looking at a woman that wasn’t his cousin? Probably that.

“Down, boy,” Remus said, putting a hand on Sirius’ head.

“It isss fine,” Sylvia said, kneeling herself, and giving Remus an excellent view down her robes, which he blushed and did his best to look away from. “Ssssome animalsss take a little longer to get usssed to me.”

She extended her hand, and Sirius took a cautious step forward. He sniffed her hand, then sneezed. Wagging his tale, he licked gently, and Sylvia smiled. “A nissse dog. I love dogsss, very tasssty.”

Sirius stopped licking and took a step back, his hackles rising.

“A joke only, I assssure you,” Syliva said with a chuckle, standing again. Something was off about her movements, Remus decided. Definitely like a Veela in that regard, though also subtly different.

“You and Sylvia will get along great,” Hagrid chuckled. “Three o’ us got to stick together, ya know, us and Flitwick.”

“Pardon?” Remus said, blinking in surprise. Sylvia looked puzzled too, looking at Remus out of the corner of her eye.

“Well, yeh know, it’s right progressive o’ Dumbledore, hiring us. Great man, Dumbledore, great man. Woulda voted fer him for Minister, ya know,” Hagrid rumbled. “Well, let’s head in, I’m famished and there’s always some tuck at staff meetin’s.”

Blushing, Remus glanced at Sylvia, who was frowning after Hagrid. He cleared his throat. “It will probably come up, but you should know, for the sake of our students…I am, ah, afflicted with lycanthropy.”

“A werewolf?” Slyvia asked, her eyebrows raising. She nodded thoughtfully. “I sssee. Well, I am the Ssserpent of Ssslytherin, ssso perhapsss we are not sssoo different.” Then she walked after Hagrid, leaving a befuddled Lupin behind.

He looked down at Sirius, who was panting with his mouth open as he watched Sylvia leave. That might have been because he was just as flabbergasted as Remus, or because, well, she really did have a very fascinating walk. “You don’t think…that was a joke, right?”

Sirius only barked, then trotted off after Sylvia and Hagrid, leaving Remus to shake his head and follow.

Inside the Great Hall, the staff were all seated at a circular table in the middle of the room, with the other tables and high table having been removed for now. Remus recognized a fair number of his old teachers, as well as several new faces, and felt a bit wistful as he took his own seat next to Hagrid’s. Snape gave him a sour look, but the others were friendly in their greetings, and Lupin exchanged pleasantries with Aurora Sinestra, who had been two years behind him, but had already been teaching for nearly a decade now.

He was so caught up in the conversation, that he didn’t notice when someone bounced into the room, and took a seat beside him. “Hey Moony, hiya, Padfoot! Long time, no see! How was Hawaii?”

The color drained out of Lupin as he turned to find Aqua sitting next to him, smiling brightly. He hastily bowed his lead. “My lady, we, I, have been well. Thank you, again, for all you’ve done…I…I am honored to be working with you.”

“Fool,” Snape sneered. “I should have known the two of you would get along.”

Lupin was highly offended by that, turning to glare at Snape. Then he caught the looks of exasperation from the rest of the staff as they looked at Aqua, save for Hagrid who waved brightly. “Drinks at the Hog’s Head this evening?”

“You know it! I hope Ol’ Abe has some of that good bubbly left over!” Aqua said happily. Then she stuffed her face with the various pastries and sandwiches set out by the house elves, along with taking an entire bottle of wine out of her robes to drink out of.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. “While this is a staff meeting and there are no students present, may I remind our staff about the rule against indulging during working hours?”

“Oh right, I’ll save it for later,” Aqua agreed, and stuffed the bottle down her bust, taking instead a glass of pumpkin punch.

Lupin wasn’t quite sure how to take all that, but he did his best to look professional as Dumbledore called the meeting to order. Everyone else stopped their conversations and eating and looked to the headmaster, except for Aqua, who took out a napkin and started to doodle with her punch on it.

“Welcome, one and all, to another magical and enlightening year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,” Dumbledore began. “As you know, we once more have had some turnover on our staff. Professor Binns has, at last, passed on, and will no longer be with us.”

“About ruddy time. Boring old coot,” Hagrid muttered. Remus would have felt offended, but by the expressions of the other staff members, they were all quite glad Binns wasn’t around. However…

“He will be replaced by Miss Aqua Mizu, who has graciously accepted his position, where I am sure she will be better suited,” Dumbledore finished.

“One can only hope,” McGonagall muttered, not quite under her breath, though Aqua didn’t seem to notice, and the other professors did not look hopeful. Aqua apparently missed the whole thing, continuing her art project, oblivious to the glares she was getting.

“In her place, we have Mr. Remus Lupin, who is eminently qualified for the position. Which makes him rather unique among our latest Defense Professors,” Dumbledore said, a twinkle in his eyes. That got a few chuckles from the other professors, though Snape still looked like he smelled something foul. Perhaps himself.

“I look forward to working with you all,” Remus said, standing and bowing. “I’ll do my best to educate the young minds of Wizarding Britain.”

“Well, I suppose someone in your position would know a great deal about the Dark Arts,” Snape drawled, which earned him a growl from Sirius.

“I, ah, yes, I do have a medical condition, though my case is, er, unique,” Remus agreed. “Some of you are aware from my time at Hogwarts as a student, but, er,”

McGonagall gave Remus an encouraging smile. “You were always an excellent student, and very versed in Defense. You’ll make a fine professor.”

“Yeah!” Aqua added, looking up from her artwork. “And if you disagree, that’s ‘cause you’re racist!”

That earned her several very odd looks from around the table from those not in the know, though Dumbledore’s brows had furrowed. “Unique, Remus? I had not planned on informing the entire staff, though Severus and Minerva do already know…”

“Well, you see, it’s like this,” Remus said with a sigh. “It’s only a waning gibbous right now, but…ah, I could demonstrate…”

“Oh please, do. I’m sure everyone would like to know your furry little secret,” Snape cut in with a dark chuckle.

“Yes, well, I won’t really be needing the Wolfsbane potions, so-”

“Wolfsbane?” Sinestra said, sitting up and blinking. “Remus, you’re not-”

Sighing, he rolled his shoulders. “I guess I should just show you. If you wouldn’t mind, sir?” he asked Dumbledore, who nodded, looking bemused.

“You go, Remus!” Aqua said, holding up a fist. “Solidarity!”

He nodded, took a deep breath, and stepped back from the table. Then he transformed.

There were gasps of shock and cries of surprise, with Sprout’s hands flying to her mouth. Flitwick, on the other hand, steepled his fingers and murmured, “Interesting, very interesting…” while McGonagall’s jaw dropped in astonishment.

“I, uh, well, I’m a werewolf, but lately, something’s been different,” Remus rumbled, reaching a clawed hand up to scratch the back of his neck. He’d grown a furry muzzle and wolf-like ears, with a tail sprouting from his back. He was also about a foot taller so that the hem of his robe was far off the ground, and his shoulders were much broader. He smiled awkwardly, then stopped when he remembered he now had a mouth full of sharp teeth.

“I…I assume you’re on the Wolfsbane potion?” Sinestra asked, looking dazed. “I…I never knew…how long?”

“Since I was a boy, though as I said, I used to be a more, er, traditional werewolf,” Lupin explained awkwardly.

“Those are lame though, so Eris fixed you. We should have done it a while ago but I didn’t want to spoil the surprise!” Aqua said brightly. “You look super cool now though!”

“A most astonishing transformation,” Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling. “I take it you know Miss Mizu rather well, then?”

“She, uh, helped me in a dark time,” Lupin admitted. “I’m technically a Fortuna Cultist, but I do have an Axis Shrine too.”

“Hmph. Mine should be bigger and fancier than that chest-padding floozy,” Aqua grumbled but then sighed. “But, you always were Eris’ favorite, so it’s only fair since I got Luna and Lavlav.”

“Were you exposed to True SIlver?” Flitwick asked, standing up on his seat to peer across the table at Lupin.

“Not that I know of. I just...sort of started to transform like this. And, er, well…I can control it now, except during the full moon,” Lupin explained.

“So now you can smell like wet dog all the time instead of just once a month,” Snape snorted. “Wonderful.”

Well it beats being a rude arse at every opportunity, Lupin thought very, very loudly. He shifted back to his regular shape though, and sat back down. “I suppose I’m closer to some sort of odd werewolf animagus now, truth be told.”

“That’s very interesting, and I believe several other staff members would be interested in studying your condition,” Dumbledore mused, earning nods from Flitwick, McGonagall, and Madam Pomfrey. “Well, that does bring me to our other new staff member, who is replacing Professor Kettleburn as he has retired to enjoy the last of his fingers.”

That diverted everyone’s attention and brought some chuckles, though Aqua muttered, “I could have healed them if he’d just asked.”

“I would trasssform too, but I wouldn’t want to assssicendtally petrify any of you,” Sylvia said, waving. “Alssso, I am not sssertain I could change back, and I much prefer my current form for making friendsss.”

That brought chuckles as people apparently thought Sylvia was joking. However, Lupin was starting to suspect that things had gone very wrong at Hogwarts. He was right of course, and the culprit was currently drawing a self-portrait in pumpkin juice on her napkin.

“Yes, well, I have checked Miss Slytherin’s credentials, and I assure you they are impeccable,” Dumbledore said with a smile and wink.

“Yesss. I am very good with magical creaturesss,” Sylvia agreed. “Though I have been told we’re not allowed to raise sssome of the more interesssting ones.”

“Pity that,” Hagrid sighed. “Got a bloke who can get yeh a deal on nundu cubs.”

“Yes, well, the goal is to teach the students how to care for magical creatures, not terrorize the student population,” Dumbledore said, then frowned. “Which, unfortunately, I am sad to inform you, is all too likely to happen this year.”

“Well, we are letting back Potter,” Trelawny observed. “I foresee a great calamity at her hands this year…”

“You don’t have to be a seer to know that,” McGonagall said, grimacing. “Have you seen the papers?”

“Tonks told me,” Lupin said with a shake of his head. “Why’d she go and cast a spell like that, and where the muggles could see it to boot?”

“I’m afraid that’s not what I am referring to,” Dumbledore said, his tone grim. “And indeed, I am afraid the board and the Minister have forced my hand here.”

“Why, Albus, we merely wish to keep all the students safe!” A jovial voice said, even as cold sweat began to break out all over Remus’ body, and he felt a gnawing sense of dread in his stomach. Sirius began to growl, the hackles on the dog’s back rising as he stood from where he’d been laying beside Lupin’s chair.

Pulling out his wand, Lupin stood and whirled. He spied a vaguely familiar pudgy man in his middle years in a fine robe and hat walking forward. But that man wasn’t what drew the eye: It was the dark shadow floating forward at his side.

“Dementor!” Lupin snarled, raising his wand. “EXPECTO-”

A hand laid on Remus’ arm, and  he looked over to see Aqua, her blue eyes glowing brightly.

“Oh? You’re approaching me? You’re actually approaching me?” Aqua chuckled, spreading her other arm expansively.

“Eh? I don’t follow,” the pudgy man said. “Anyway, to help protect against the threat of Sirius Black-”

The man in question barked several times, putting himself between the man and the Dementor, his fangs bared angrily.

“What, who’s dog is this!? Control your mutt, you’re threatening the Minister for Magic, don’t you know,” the man harrumphed as the Dementor floated forward, reaching out a hand.

“Sirius, down!” Lupin barked, then heard an oddly distinctive sound. He turned to see Aqua cracking her knuckles, a slightly manic grin on her face.

“It’s been a while since a demon was ballsy enough to step up to me,” she chuckled, and a blue aura sprang up around her.

The Dementor halted its forward progress, and in fact began to slowly float backwards.

“Stuff and nonsense. No worries, I have this one and the others outside completely under my control,” Fudge said with a derisive snort.

“You brought Dementors onto school grounds!? Are you mad!?” McGonagall demanded. “You know better than this, Fudge!”

“It’s a temporary measure until the criminal Sirius Black is brought into custody,” Fudge said testily. “We are simply-wait, where are you going? Come back here!”

The Dementor had turned around and was already speeding away, flying away as fast as it could for the door.

“You think you can run from me!?” Aqua demanded, and with a blue blur of speed, dashed forward, reaching the doors before the Dementor could. It immediately spun about and fled in the other direction, heading for a back door.

“What is- stop that this instant! If you harass them, I’m not responsible for them attacking you!” Fudge protested.

“Oh, I would like to see them try!” Aqua cackled, now chasing the Dementor around the large room, with the creature obviously frantic now, waving its arms about in a frenzy.

“Are you suggesting you don’t have full control as you assured me, and that the Dementors could attack my staff or students?” Dumbledore asked quietly, his tone all the more menacing for that.

“No, not at all!” Fudge blustered. “It’s just, well, she’s provoking it and…what on Earth?”

Finally realizing that its foe was terrestrial, the Dementor had floated up to the ceiling, where it was trying desperately to hide behind one of the beams.

“Get down here! That’s cheating!” Aqua ranted, shaking her fist at the thing. “Come down and face the Wrath of a Goddess!”

“Er, well, ah, at least it didn’t attack you!” Fudge harrumphed, folding his arms over his chest and scowling fiercely. He turned back to Dumbledore. “Look, this is the best security I can provide. I won’t make the mistake my predecessor did and let Black escape the Ministry a second time. That vile fiend could be anywhere!”

“Even in this room?” Lupin asked dryly. Sirius sneezed, and padded over to the Minister, where he began to sniff at the man’s leg.

“Don’t be ridiculous, my Dementor would sort him out if he- off! Bad dog! Filthy beast!” Fudge snapped, shaking his leg at Sirius. “Shoo! Go away! Bad dog!”

“Blackie, here,” Remus called, and snapped his fingers.

Sirius gave Remus an exasperated look over his shoulder, then turned and lopped back to lay at Lupin’s side, where he panted and gave Fudge a doggy grin. It was rather amusing, actually.

“Well, I withdraw my complaints about…other staffing choices, if those…things…are to be on this campus,” Snape said, his lips drawn back in a sneer. “Though what incompetent fool would put monsters at an institution for children is beyond me.”

“Well they let you teach, don't they?” Lupin muttered under his breath.

“What was that?” Snape snarled, his head snapping around. He always did have good hearing.

“I said that we can hardly teach with Dementors patrolling the halls,” Lupin said more loudly, and several heads nodded.

“Oh, not that, not that. They’ll just be patrolling the grounds, keeping an eye on- where did Miss Mizu go?” Fudge asked.

Everyone looked about, but Aqua had disappeared from where she’d been pacing below the Dementor, while the dark robed shape’s head was jerking about wildly.

From above, they heard a single line. “Nothing personel, kid.”

Everyone looked up to see Aqua, who had appeared behind the Dementor. It spun about, and for the first time, Lupin heard a Dementor scream in terror. It was a sound like grinding gears and tearing metal, and he winced involuntarily.

For her part, Aqua let out a series of cries as she punched the Dementor repeatedly, even as she was hovering in midair. “ATATATATATATATATA!” As she did so, blue light covered her fists and crashed into the Dementor, which flung its arms wide, the Dementor’s scream petering off.

At last, Aqua finished her assault and fell to the floor, where she landed in a perfect three-point pose.

“What the bloody hell was that?!” Fudge demanded in exasperation.

Standing, Aqua turned about to the Dementor, which still floated in mid-air, frozen. She extended her index finger, and said in a rough voice, “Omae wa mou shindeiru.”

“N-NANI!?” the Dementor shrieked, which was the first time Lupin had ever heard anything remotely coherent from one. Then its robes began to bulge wildly as its arms flailed about. A moment later, it exploded in a burst of blue light, as Aqua lowered her arms to her sides, her fists clenched as she breathed out eyes closed.

There was astonished silence for several moments. Lupin thought he could have heard a pin drop if not for the pounding of his own blood in his ears.

“I can still smell them outside,” Aqua said, turning towards the door. She started to walk, tilting her head from side to side and rolling her shoulders as if to prepare for a fight. “I’ll be just a moment.”

They all watched her for a second, and Fudge was the first to break the spell. “She can’t just- that’s IMPOSSIBLE! No one can kill a Dementor! It’s never been done!”

“Well, I dare say that is no longer the case,” Dumbledore said, walking over to where the tattered bits of robe had fallen to the floor. He prodded them with his wand, lifting one up. “This one seems to have been rather thoroughly destroyed.”

“But…but I brought half the flock here…how could she- NO!” Fudge raced for the outside, and Lupin hurried after him, the rest of the teachers following.

Out in the courtyard, they saw a lone woman, standing alone on a small hillock a short distance away. Around her, dozens of Dementors were hovering, slowly drifting closer. A breeze was blowing, and though the Dementor’s robes did not stir, Aqua’s hair blew in the breeze, her ponytail held in place by her hair ornament.

“No! Stop, don’t attack her!” Fudge cried frantically, waving his arms, but the Dementors ignored him. He grabbed his hat and pulled it down about his ears, looking panicked. “They’re ignoring me! I can’t- they’re out of control! That poor girl will be drained dry! They’ll Kiss her for sure!”

“Quick, those of you who can, Patronuses!” Remus barked, raising his wand again.

To his shock, Aqua began to laugh. She turned her head, putting her finger to her lips. “Oh Remus. This fight is already unfair enough.”

“Yes, no one can hold off that many Dementors! EXPECTO-”

“Oh no no,” Aqua said with a shake of her head. A deadly gleam shone in her eyes. “I meant for them.” She whirled about, a flower tipped staff appearing in her hands. “NOW! YOU FACE THE FURY OF A GODDESS! COME AT ME, ALL YE HORDES OF HELL! COME, AND KNOW DESPAIR!”

The Dementors shrieked, and as one, dove for Aqua, hands outstretched, darkness and fog forming around them. For a moment, the view was obscured, even as Lupin and the other professors desperately conjured Patronuses. Before they could send them to help Aqua though, there was a blinding flash of blue light, and Aqua’s silhouette appeared in the inky black in glowing radiance.

“SACRED! EXORCISM!”

The earth shook, and Lupin stumbled slightly as a shockwave blasted out. The Dementors screamed again, and the light was so blinding that Lupin had to shut his eyes. When he opened them, Aqua stood, grinning, black tatters of cloth fluttering down around her in the breeze. Out of nowhere, an unseen orchestra played a triumphant tune, with Aqua pumping her arms in the air music swelled.

“Tee hee!” Aqua giggled, striking a victory pose and raising two fingers to her forehead in a “V” sign. “Those low level demons were no match for a goddess like me! The Axis Cult prevails!”

Lupin blinked, then turned to Dumbledore. “Sir, with all due respect…are you certain you want me as your Defense Professor? I mean, I don’t think I’m bad, but…” He gestured to where the scattered remains of the Dementors continued to rain down. “I can’t do THAT.”

“Why by Merlin’s beard, couldn’t she have done that last year?!” McGonagall croaked. “She…she…how could she…?”

“For all her wonderful talents, I’m afraid Miss Mizu was, ah, not quite able to pass on her own impressive skills to the youth,” Dumbledore said, stroking his beard and looking thoughtful. He turned to Fudge. “I do believe we shall need a new plan. You seem to be short of Dementors at the moment.”

“I guess…we could assign an Auror?” Fudge said lamely.

A lightbulb went on in Remus’ head. “You know, I think I might have a suggestion as to that…”

Laying on her bed, Tonks sighed. Things had been going so well, and then Megumin had gone and blown up half the bloody sea, and Sirius Black had reappeared. She’d still been hoping to spend a few lovely days with Remus before the start of Term, but he’d had to report in already to prepare for the upcoming school year.

“I suppose there’s always visits to Hogsmeade,” she said forlornly, sitting up and looking about her flat. Chris was on the road again, leaving her alone to stew. She had been hoping to take advantage of that privacy, but, well…

The phone rang, and Tonks briefly considered ignoring it. With a sigh, she stood and walked over, picking it up. “Wotcher.”

“Ah, Miss Tonks,” the voice of Cornelius Fudge said. “Just the woman I was hoping to speak to.”

“You know how to use the phone?” Tonks said, shocked. She hadn’t thought any older wizards had a clue when it came to such things. Her mum still had her husband or Tonks make calls for her, muttering about ‘new-fangled muggle contraptions’ despite the phone being a bloody century old at this point.

“What?! Of course I do! I’m the Minister for Magic!”

Tonks was silent for a moment, wincing and mentally kicking herself for her verbal gaffe. She was going to get fired if she kept this up.

“Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?! Confounded muggle contraptions! You there, did it break?! Oh blast it, you talk to her!”

There was some noise, then the most wonderful voice said, “Hello, Tonks? It’s Remus.”

“Oh, yes, um, ‘lo Remus!” Tonks said brightly, feeling like an idiot. “Er, why’s the Minister calling me? Where are you?”

“Hogsmead, I know you haven’t a floo at your flat so this was the best way to contact you. The Minister wants to reassign you.”

“Er, right, I suppose he can do that, but really it should come from Director Bones since she’s the head of the DMLE,” Tonks said, scratching at her hair, which had gone polka-dotted in her perplexity.

“Yes, well, he was going to assign some Dementors to provide security at Hogwarts, but-”

“Is he bloody mental!? Dementors at Hogwarts?! That’s a stupid idea!” Tonks gasped, then winced. “Um, he can hear me, can’t he?”

“No, this isn’t a speakerphone,” Remus said with a chuckle. “Well, do you want the good news or the bad news first?”

“Well, Dementors at Hogwarts has to be the bad news, so there should bloody well better be some damn good news!” Tonks said, leaning against the wall and puffing out her cheeks in exasperation.

“Well, that’s actually the bad news. The Dementors are all dead.”

“They’re what?” Tonks demanded, standing up straight in surprise and growing an inch while she was at it.

“Aqua killed them all. Rather spectacular, really,” Remus mused.

“I…I suppose so,” Tonks said, blinking in astonishment. “You mean Mizu? How…”

“She’s, ah, very talented,” Remus admitted. “Anyway, with the Dementors dead, we need a new security system. How do you feel about spending a few months as the Hogwarts Campus Security Officer?”

A slow grin spread over Tonk’s lips. “Well, I think I could see my way to doing that.”

After a brief conversation, in which Tonks assured the Minister she’d be happy to take a posting at Hogwarts, even if it was long hours. When she hung up, Tonks did a little happy dance, pumping her fist in excitement. “Yes, yes, yes!”

It seemed her year, and her love life, were off to a pretty good start.

Somewhere, Aqua and Chris exchanged a high-five.

Everything was coming together.

Author’s Note:

You know, I’ve been thinking. What would be the better crack pairing? Sylvia x Hagrid, or Sylvia x Sirius. Either way, having them compete to woo her would be hilarious. Let me know in the comments your own wild ships.

PHILO: I just want it to be known that my greatest moment of helping this chapter was suggesting the Final Fantasy Victory Theme.

The Second Archon War: Carmen Dei 13

Carmen Dei 13: Where the Poppies Grow

Beta’d and Edited by The Grand Cogitator, Dr_Feelgood, and Philosophysics

Rubbing her forehead, Alexandria groaned and took a long drink from her cup of coffee. Next to her, Wyatt was nursing his own latte, which had so much sugar and milk in it that it basically wasn’t coffee. Legend was looking stunned, his own cup of coffee next to him, while Eidolon was taking a swig from his can of Red Bull. Doctor Mother was pinching the bridge of her nose, her glasses pushed up onto her forehead, while Contessa was gobbling down donut holes so fast she had powdered sugar smudged all over her nose and lips.

“That can’t seriously be what happened,” Alexandria said at last, looking up and raising a hand to beckon for the donuts, only to have Contessa pass her the box before she could even gesture. She took three and passed the box along to Wyatt, who silently popped several in his own mouth.

“We have multiple witnesses who confirm it, the security footage from the Dandelion’s Breeze, and every question I’ve asked has given me the same. Along with all the rules for Genius Invocation TCG,” Contessa said around a mouthful of donuts.

“Chew before you talk, dear,” Doctor Mother sighed, getting up. “I need another cup of-”

Contessa passed her a mug, along with two sweeteners and some non-dairy creamer.

“Yes, that. It’s too early for this,” Doctor Mother sighed, sitting back down and opening the packets.

Crushing his can of Red Bull, Eidolon tossed it into the trash can, then reached out his hand to the side, where another can materialized. “Why? That’s the real question. We’ve established the facts, but we don’t know the motivations or rationale for either Raiden or this Venti Luft.”

“I frankly can’t fathom what they’d be, and I think we’d just get more questions than answers,” Legend said with a shake of his head. Wyatt proffered the box, and Legend hesitated. “I really shouldn’t. Arthur and I are on a diet…”

“Well, you can stress eat like the rest of us or shut up. Besides, with your metabolism, you don’t need to diet,” Wyatt said with a shrug.

Conceding the point, Legend took four donut holes and cupped them in his hand, then passed the box over to Eidolon.

“I don’t eat that shit,” he growled, pulling out a protein bar and taking a bite. He chewed for a moment, swallowed, then said, “We have to get some answers. Especially where this Venti Luft came from and what his agenda is.”

“Promoting LGBT and minority rights and destroying the Gesellschaft,” Contessa said, and all heads snapped to her.

“Really?” Legend asked, a look of shock on his face. “You’re sure?”

“Well, not exactly. This is less from my power and more…a very educated guess?” Contessa sighed and wiped her hand on her pants absently, leaving a white streak of powdered sugar. “But Venti has gone out of his way to help a gay couple defend their bar against neo-nazis, and his two bandmates are a pair of lesbians who happen to be a Jew and a Romani. He’s the one who destroyed the Gesellschaft facility, there can be no doubt of that, and he seems to be actively recruiting for a new cape team called the Knights of Favonius.”

“Favonius…Favonius,” Doctor Mother muttered, typing one-handed on her computer. “That’s-”

“The Roman god of the West Wind, a type of butterfly, and the winner of the 1871 Epsom Derby,” Contessa supplied.

“The what?” Alexandria asked, frowning.

“Also called the Derby Stakes, or just the Derby, the Epsom Derby is a flat horse race open to 3-year-old horses that has run since-”

“Not relevant,” Eidolon said with a shake of his head. “I think the connection to the Roman Wind God is more relevant. I mean, he named himself ‘Winds’ in Latin, and breeze in German, and he has Wind powers. What’s his real name?”

“Uh, Barbados,” Contessa supplied. “I think.”

“You think? That’s not GOOD enough, Fortuna!” Eidolon snarled, making a cutting motion in the air with one hand. “You’re supposed to be the one that guides our path! We can’t keep going into this blind!”

“Why’d he name himself after an island?” Alexandria asked. “What’s that mean?”

“Bearded,” Contessa supplied. “But he doesn’t have one.”

“It’s as good as anything. Is he Portuguese? We’ll have to investigate,” Doctor Mother said, shaking her head slightly.

“Perhaps I could make some overtures,” Legend offered. “If he’s interested in promoting LBGTQ rights, we’d have some common ground.”

“We were investing in the Gesellschaft though,” Alexandria pointed out, which earned her a frown from Legend. “Don’t be like that, Keith. You agreed they were the right ones to back in Germany, and we’ve seen a lot of success from that program.”

“Yes, but I still don’t like that they turned out to be Nazis, Rebecca,” Legend said with a disgusted shake of his head. “If there is a superior alternative…”

“Peace and stability don’t trigger more capes,” Eidolon said with a disgusted snort. “You want to make everything sunshine and rainbows, you’re dooming the world and you know it.”

“Actually,” Contessa said, frowning as her brow furrowed in thought. “Japan has…hmmm…fewer first gen, but more second gen, and an increase in Vision Holders, plus there’s the second and now third gen parahumans…”

“Wait, are you saying these Vision Holders aren’t parahumans?” Alexandria demanded, feeling cold sweat form on her back. Everyone else had frozen, looks of sheer shock and horror on her faces.”

“Not certain yet, but Venti showed up when the Anemo Visions did so the correlation is strong,” Contessa said, still not focused on what she was saying. “Hmmm. Yes, if Germany did become like Japan…we’d see at least a 1.24% drop in total cape emergence, though I haven’t factored in the new Visions and we don’t know what the criteria for them is yet.”

“Wait, then…then Venti’s another Raiden,” Legend said, his eyes growing wide. “Is he…is he as powerful as-”

“Venti isn’t really a he, when they attacked the Gesellschaft facility she was a girl. She’s, um…not a hermaphrodite…”

“Genderfluid? Non-binary?” Legend asked excitedly, leaning forward, a broad grin on his face. “That’s great news! Look, it’s worth the 1.24% drop in-”

“NO!” Eidolon snarled, slamming a fist down on the table before him and rattling the coffee mugs. “Does that even factor in that Gesellschaft capes are nearly as strong as our best capes, or that their Agents are not connected to the threat, giving us a possible counter?!”

“Venti isn’t as strong as Raiden, but they’re stronger than…hmm…yes. Based on the demonstrated abilities, and a few guesses…he’s probably the fifth or sixth strongest being on the planet. Depending on how you rank Mushu,” Contessa said.

As Contessa was talking though, Legend rounded on Eidolon. “Oh come off it! Germany produces what, less than 100 capes a year? We’re looking at over a ten year period, no more than a dozen or so capes one way or the other! That’s well worth the stability and prosperity, not to mention we’re fighting against that vile-”

“And if those dozen capes have another Alexandria, another Legend, another ME?!” Eidolon said, pointing a finger right back at Legend. “We’re gambling with the fate of humanity across every existence! We’re going to have to break a few eggs to make this omelet!”

“And we’re the GOOD GUYS, David! You sound like the worst sort of Villain!” Legend said, standing up and slamming the table himself.

“I’ll be whatever I have to be to make sure that at the end of the day, we’re standing, and he’s not!” David barked back.

“BOYS!” Alexandria thundered, standing up herself. “Sit. DOWN!”

They both glared at her, but complied, both of them assuming tense postures as Eidolon hunched over the table and Legend flexed his hands in frustration.

“Contessa. What are the odds of getting Venti on our side if we support the Gesselschaft?” Alexandria asked, forcing herself to be calm. She knew what answer she wanted, but she wasn’t willing to sacrifice humanity because working with Nazis was repugnant. They’d be dealt with after the end of the world. Until then, they were by far the less evil alternative.

“So close to zero that I’d bore you by reciting all the zeros in front of the number,” Contessa said with a shake of her head. “He’s going to wipe them out. Not kill them, maybe, he showed remarkable restraint for someone so powerful. He could have killed All Father and the other Gesellschaft capes easily. But it’s them or him.”

“And how much better are our odds with Venti on our side than the Gesellschaft, even assuming they come up with a dozen more capes, one of which is at least as strong as their best or even better,” Alexandria asked as calmly as she could. Wyatte slipped his hand into hers and gave her a squeeze, and she closed her eyes as Contessa’s eyes darted back and forth and she muttered under her breath.

“I think…I think they’re at least 26.2% better with Venti on our side than not. And…and there’s a chance…Venti could take out an Endbringer as well,” Contessa admitted. “Depending on if they decide to target him or stay away.”

“We’re overdue for another one emerging according to the models,” Doctor Mother said, steepling her fingers. “What that would bring…who knows.”

“I’m going to Germany then,” Legend declared, fixing his gaze on Eidolon and daring him to gainsay that. “I’ll contact Vornehm since he was at this party, and see if we can arrange a meeting with Venti. I’ve never been able to sleep right, knowing we were backing monsters like the Gesellschaft. I think we’ll all feel better about ourselves.”

“I hope your do-gooding lets you sleep knowing you’re gambling with the fate of the fucking world,” Eidolon growled, reaching for his mask.

“But we don’t HAVE to sit down at the table with monsters!” Legend snarled, real anger on his face now. “We don’t have to BE monsters, David! We can be heroes! We can save the world!”

“Tell that to the fucking 53s. Maybe you would if they were gay,” Eidolon snapped, and stormed out of the room, pulling his mask on to his head.

Legend glared after him, fists clenched, nostrils flared. Wyatt leaned over and put a hand on his shoulder. “We know you care, Keith. So does David. We’re on the same side here.”

Letting out a long breath, Legend nodded. “Yes, I know. It’s just…maybe there is hope. Perhaps we actually can stop the end of the world, with a little help.”

“I’ll go after David,” Alexandria said, standing. “Unless there’s anything else?”

“No, I should get back to Bangladesh,” Contessa sighed. “After that, it’s off to Israel. Maybe I can figure out what a Teyvat is.”

“Teyvat?” Alexandria had to think for a moment on that one. “Oh, Raiden mentioned it. That and…what was the other one? Khan something?”

“Khaenri’ah, but what that means, not even my Path knows yet,” Contessa admitted. “Get after Keith, salve his pride. He’ll talk to you if you listen first.”

Nodding, Alexandria put on her own helmet then hurried out of the building. It didn’t take her long to find Eidolon, as he wasn’t exactly hiding. He was hovering over New York, all the way across the country, looking down on the memorial. He had his arms crossed over his chest, and he was brooding, though she also knew he was listening for any potential S Class threats that might appear. He could be anywhere in the country in a moment, which meant where he chose to wait for a chance to act didn’t really matter.

She floated beside him, looking down, thinking. New York had been their third battle against Behemoth. A battle that they had won, barely. It was called the battle of New York, but it had really been the Battle of Yonkers. That city no longer existed, and under the dome that Hero and the other Tinkers had constructed was still a radioactive nightmare. The devastation did go into the outskirts of New York City, but only just.

The monument itself depicted the Elite: Eidolon, Hero, Legend, and Alexandria herself, delivering the final blow to Behemoth as the Endbringer reeled back. The actual scene hadn’t been that pretty, and they hadn’t been grouped up like idiots, but the statue looked nice.

They floated together for long minutes until Eidolon spoke. “We’ve never beaten him. Not in nine years. We didn’t beat Leviathan in three battles either. And we haven’t beaten the Simurgh in either of her appearances. Davao and Madison are gone, now that we know what she does. How many more times?”

“As many as it takes,” Alexandria said quietly, feeling sick to her stomach. What had come out of Davao and Madison…it didn’t bear thinking of. She’d had to put down several friends, as they had yet to figure out how to truly fight the Simurgh, aside from overwhelming firepower. Even Alexandria had been close to breaking at some points.

“We were never able to defeat them, but…this blasphemer, this false god…” Eidolon clenched his fist so hard that the leather in his gloves creaked. “She kills one in her first outing and we fall at her feet. Then there’s this other one we know nothing about, and we compromise the plan for him? It’s foolishness. Pure idiocy.”

“Raiden has always had the potential to be a powerful ally. The Kill Order on her was my greatest mistake,” Alexandria said, shaking her head and grimacing. “I let myself be ruled by fear then. I can’t be blinded a second time.”

“Fear?” Eidolon turned, the glow around his costume flickering in the afternoon sun. “We need that fear. If not for the fear, the world would turn on us and eat itself alive before the end of the world arrives. This… This fear will keep us strong, test us, prepare us. We need that fear so that we’re willing to do what we have to. We’ve seen what happens when we relax our guard for even a moment.”

“Perhaps. But that simply means we should pick our allies better. The Gesellschaft-”

“Are tried and true in their ability to produce quality capes. All Father. Kaiser. Red Lotus. Fuhrer. And don’t forget: Our hands are not clean there. We gave them those vials. Set them on the course to make their own. If Venti dismantles them, we’re at risk. Our entire plan could be exposed. All to gamble on an unknown just because he likes faggots more than-”

“David!” Alexandria barked, floating right up into his face. “Get ahold of yourself! This isn’t like you!”

“I-” Eidolon’s mask turned away. “You’re right. Sorry. I just…”

“I’m frustrated too,” Alexandria said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “We worked so hard, fought so long, lost so much…and Raiden continues to sit in her ivory tower, while this Venti seems like a clown. But if he can help…perhaps he’s a better alternative than the literal Nazis.”

“You’re right,” Eidolon said, shaking his head. “If he can help more…but he’ll need to be tested.”

“Yes,” Alexandria agreed. “Which is what Keith will do. He’s not a fool, or blind. He has his pet projects, but he’s committed.”

“I…I’ll apologize later,” Eidolon said. Then his head snapped up, his hand going to his ear at the same time as a tone pinged in Alexandria’s.

Slaughterhouse Nine activity detected: Location, Houston, Texas.

“If it’s not one thing,” Alexandria said, grimacing. She reached up a hand to touch her nose, and grimaced, forcing her hand down halfway. Sorry, Taylor. This is one thing I can do for you, for your father. “Want some help?”

“I can handle it,” Eidolon said, his hand glowing. He raised one, then glanced at Alexandria. “But…there’s nine of them, and even I don’t want to fight the Siberian alone.”

“Race you?” Alexandria asked, giving him a cheeky smile.

“Not the fucking time,” Eidolon said.

But he didn’t say no.

As they raced off, somewhere, beyond space, beyond time, a tesseract collapsed in upon itself, and a new being was born. It wasn’t awake, wasn’t alive. Not yet.

But it would be, soon.

And the time of Testing would begin anew.

Five years was a long time. Time for grass to grow, for shrubs and bushes to sprout, for most scars and wounds to heal.

Time, however, did not heal all wounds.

The blackened scar stretched for miles. The shattered shells of buildings could still be seen, but there was no movement within the graveyard that had once been a city, no life.

For the second time, Naomi watched an angel weep. She shed more than a few tears herself.

Capri was silent, braiding a wreath from dry grass, twigs, and fallen leaves. She went over and placed it amongst so many other memorials, at the base of a Star of David. Rebecca Cohen. A distant cousin of Naomi’s, perhaps? She couldn’t remember.

“How did it happen?” Venti asked, drying his tears. “I’ve heard things, read things, but…you would have seen it happen live. On television, at least.”

“We were in Breman, at a music festival,” Naomi said quietly. She shook her head. “Not Capri and I. My…my family and I. We were in Fiddler on the Roof. I was playing Chava, my mother was Yente, and my father was the producer. One of my first starring roles…opening night was the next day. We were asleep when…when it happened.”

“I was in Munich, working odd jobs, already having left my family,” Capri said, her eyes distant. “Working the morning shift waiting tables at a diner. It started before I got in for my shift, but my boss had the TV on, and…”

“The Mächtige were fighting, Brunhilda and Beowulf were leading them. The Americans were on their way,” Naomi continued. “Behemoth hadn’t made it into the city yet. People were evacuating, but the heroes were holding the line. But then…”

“Beowulf and Brunhilda hit Behemoth together. She had some sort of sonic-based powers, he was a brute with a giant sword. For a moment, it looked like Behemoth was down, that they’d done it, before the PRT even showed up,” Capri said with a slow shake of her head. “The Endbringer was down in the dirt, they were standing over him, there was smoke and debris, people thought the city was saved.”

Feeling sick, Naomi made herself continue. “Then…it was like a volcano erupting, or a bomb going off. Beowulf and Brunhilda…all of the Mächtige…they were dead.”

“The bastard burrowed. People were stunned, the best capes in Germany were down, but they’d sacrificed themselves to drive Behemoth off, and the city was spared. That’s what we all thought, for about five minutes,” Capri said, hanging her head. She pointed. “You see that cindercone? That’s where he came up.”

The mound of volcanic glass was only about 20 meters tall and twice that wide, but it was clearly visible, even beyond the Exclusion Zone. All structures near it had been reduced to ash.

“For half an hour, Behemoth raged, unchecked, unopposed,” Naomi whimpered, and Capri put an arm around her, squeezing as the tears flowed down both their cheeks. “Then the Americans came, and so did the Mousquetaires. They fought all day. It wasn’t until nearly sunset that Scion came and drove off Behemoth. That was too late for Cologne.”

“Before the attack, it was a city of nearly a million. After…after there were only about 250,000 survivors. More than half died of cancer within three years,” Capri rasped, her voice raw, and Naomi hugged her as tightly as she could. “I don’t even know how many are left. The place still glows at night.”

“That was…that was when things started to get bad,” Naomi said, wiping her eyes. “The loss of life was horrific, but…but it had been the Heroes, the good capes, who were all killed. There were almost no German heroes left. Just a few villains.”

“People were scared shitless. Hopeless. The economy collapsed, and the value of the mark jumped off a fucking cliff. Refugees everywhere. Villains running rampant, killing people every day. The Blasphemies killed two Prime Ministers in a month. And then those fuckers showed up.”

“The Land and Social Labor Reform Party?” Venti asked quietly.

“The Gesellschaft first,” Naomi said with a shake of her head. “They had capes. Strong capes. At first, even I cheered them…”

“Don’t feel bad, so did I. They were beating villains left and right. Cleaning up crime. Then came the fuckers in the LSLRP. And when they started winning elections, the masks came off, and we realized we’d traded one kind of monster for another,” Capri growled.

Venti nodded slowly. “These Endbringers…no one knows where they come from, do they?”

“They just showed up one day. Behemoth by burning half of Iran’s oil rigs to the fucking ground, Leviathan by destroying Oslo. Then that angel-looking bitch in Davao last year.”

“December 13th, 1992, Marun Field. June 9th, 1996, Oslo,” Naomi confirmed. “At first it was just Behemoth every seven months. Then, two, every five. We thought the Lord had been merciful when Raiden killed Leviathan at Nagasaki, but…”

“But then the Simurgh turned Davao into a charnel house,” Capri sighed. She was shaking slightly and broke her embrace with Naomi to turn to Venit. “Why…why didn’t you come for us then, like she did then?”

Venti was quiet for a long moment, looking out at the irradiated graveyard that had once been the fourth-largest city in Germany. When he spoke, his voice was raw with pain. “I don’t know. This reminds me…well. It’s not the first time I’ve seen a city destroyed, its population cursed, and its very ground turned to poison. But I told myself something then, and I’ll repeat it now.”

When Venti turned to meet Naomi and Capri’s eyes, his face was tranquil, but his eyes were green storms. “Never. Again.”

Naomi hiccuped but nodded quickly. Capri was slower, but she nodded as well. “Alright. I wasn’t sure where you wanted to go after MEX, but I wasn’t expecting this. I thought you wanted to stop the Nazis, but…”

“To understand why people turn to hate, you have to understand what they fear,” Venti said, shaking his head. “And this…this was truly something to fear. I can’t…how could any god…? Well. It doesn’t matter. I’m here now.”

“What if…what if they attack somewhere else?” Naomi asked, her tone filled with pain. “Somewhere…somewhere like…” She couldn’t say Tel Aviv. But it was what her heart meant. She didn’t get along with her mother at all, never even spoke to her, and rarely with her father.

“If it’s in Central Europe, I can do something,” Venti sighed. He looked troubled though. “I can’t be the Archon of all the world. Raiden is right about that. I’ll try to extend my wings to shelter more than just Germany, but…we are tied to a land. A people. If I stretch myself too far, I won’t be able to protect anyone.”

“Is that why Raiden told the world they could go fuck themselves?” Capri demanded bluntly.

Venti tilted his hand from side to side. “A bit. She’s always been withdrawn, but after the death of her sister, the original Electro Archon-”

“Wait, what?” Naomi said, blinking in shock. “She’s not the original?”

“A story for another time,” Venti said with a dismissive shake of his head. But regardless…you saw me with the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles, the one you call Scion, yes?”

“Considering you went full god mode for that, we’d be pretty damn stupid to not have,” Capri chuckled darkly. “What was up with that? You never said.”

Thinking back, Naomi nodded. Venti had acted like the world’s greatest hero was a complete monster, trying to shield them. “Venti…what aren’t you telling us?”

“All kinds of things! Like the fact that you snore,” Venti said with a wink.

Naomi blushed, while Capri said in a sing-song tone, “I told you so!”

“That’s not- don’t change the subject!” Naomi sputtered. “Scion, who is he?”

“Not what he seems,” Venti said, his expression suddenly serious. “And he is why I dare not use my powers beyond my territory. I’m going to try to claim most of the Holy Roman Empire as my own territory, but-”

“The entire Holy Roman Empire?!” Naomi gasped, though Capri looked confused. “But that’s…that’s most of Central Europe! Not just Germany, but Austria, Belgium, the Netherlands, parts of Italy and France, it was huge!”

“You’re going to, what, take over the EU?” Capri asked. “Become king or something?”

At that, Venti looked mortally offended. “Do you really know me so poorly?”

“I hope not, because while I like you and all, Venti, you’d be a shit king,” Capri said bluntly. “Better than some of our current politicians, but still. No way. It’d be bar parties every night and hangover naps in the mornings, and wipe that smirk off your face. Don’t even think about trying to implement that! It’d be me and Cookie cleaning up after you all the damn time!”

As Venti pantomimed wiping his face clean of the smirk, Naomi asked, “You don’t though, right? When you say your territory…what do you mean?”

Venti shrugged, turning to look behind them at the sky, filled with wispy clouds. “Just that I’d look out for those places. I can’t look out for the whole world, but I’ll try to bring freedom and prosperity to as many lands as I can. To counteract…well. Scion. And his Endbringers.”

The bottom dropped out of Naomi’s stomach, and she let out a horrified gasp. “No…no! It can’t be!”

“Scion’s Endbringers!? Are you fucking crazy!? He fights those things, he didn’t— he doesn't…but how...he…” Capri fell silent, looking as terrified and confused as Naomi felt.

“I haven’t seen one myself yet, but from what Raiden let slip, and from what I’ve seen here…only the power of Celestia could cause devastation like this. And Scion…he’s not quite of Celestia, but…he’s certainly behind Parahumans, and the Endbringers are made of the same thing as those parasites that are sucking on people’s souls,” Venti said with a shake of his head. “This isn’t something we can talk about. Any hint of defiance, of rebellion, and, well…”

He pointed to Cologne, and Naomi turned, her eyes going wide with horror. “But…why? Why act like a hero, but allow all this…”

“I don’t know. But I won’t allow it to happen here again,” Venti said quietly. Then he spun about. “Right! Well, this was depressing! I need a drink! And, a new plan! On to Frankfurt! We’ll stop for lunch along the way! We still have all that money for my cards, right?”

“Yes, though Cookie did promise to give them back,” Naomi agreed, brightening. “I know some wonderful restaurants in Frankfurt!”

“We’re not eating at a damn five-star joint. That cash has gotta last. I cannot BELIEVE you let her take you for a ride like that! That shit was from another world, it was worth millions!” Capri groused as they headed back to their van.

“She said she’d pay more later,” Naomi said, cringing.

“More my ass. If I had known…oooo! That bitch,” Capri grumbled, stalking forward. “The next time I see her…”

“It’s fine! As long as people get to play together and have fun, a little money isn’t important,” Venti said with a shrug.

“Worst. God. Ever,” Capri said through gritted teeth as they got in. “Put on your damn seatbelts!”

As they drove off, Capri muttering darkly about missed financial opportunities, Naomi turned, looking at the bones of the ruined city. She glanced at Venti, and though he was laughing and bantering with Capri, his eyes were distant and sad.

Never again.

That was a promise she could fight for.

Author’s Note:

The rise of the Gesellschaft in Germany on Earth Bet was never explained, nor do we know what happened in Cologne. I needed to construct a scenario that would explain why an entire nation that had dedicated 50 years to de-nazifcation would suddenly turn it’s back on all that. So, this is what I came up with. All the heroes were dead, and Cauldron swoops in with their vials. And who do they give them to? The Nazis.

The Second Archon War, Imperatrix Umberosa 12

Sitting across from Vornheim and Capri, Mushu felt slightly dizzy. Not because of the alcohol: it would take a lot more than a dozen beers to put him down these days. Actually, could he even get drunk anymore? He hadn’t actually tried since, well…since he found Raiden. Or she found him, anyway.

No, the thought of becoming a father, of BEING a father, was what left him dizzy. He wasn’t sure what to do, frankly. His own father was a man he’d never known, though a few fools had tried to approach him after his rise to power and claim to be his father. He’d dismissed them all, and physically tossed aside a few more adventurous fools. The time to be his father had been when he had been a helpless child. Not when he was the Right Hand of Raiden.

“You ever have any kids?” Mushu asked Vornheim, looking down into his beer bottle.

“I did. Once,” Vornheim said, his tone leaving no doubt as to his current status. His hat was on the table, sitting on his folded up jacket, and he’d undone his necktie as well. He was staring over at Venti, who was currently standing on the table and playing the harp while singing. Naomi was at his feet, banging away at a drum and laughing.

Fill up the barrels and store them away

Then wait, wait for a windier day

Wax the bottles, seal them tight

For the south wind that soothes, for the north wind that bites

A crowd had gathered by now, a good chunk of them capes, but also quite a few civilians, and Venti was reveling in the performance. Raiden was sitting at a table with Amy, Clara, Tsukuyomi, and Keiga, and they seemed to be chatting about children. Or rather, Keiga was talking, and the others were listening with Clara and Ami chiming in.

“Shit. Cologne?” Capri asked Vornheim.

He nodded. “I triggered after the attack. When I found…well. Calling them bodies would be a stretch.” He took a long pull of his beer, and looked down. “I should have died that day. I didn’t. But I did vow that such a thing would never again happen to Germany. Not on my watch.”

“I saw a lot of bodies when Leviathan came,” Mushu said, his eyes seeing the past. Sentai, face down in puddles, or ripped apart. Civilian bodies littering the street. “If Raiden hadn’t come…shit. I don’t know that I’d be alive today. Even if I had survived…who knows. Don’t think that I’d have wanted to.”

“A detestable fate to consider,” Vornheim agreed, taking another drink of his beer. He glanced at Capri and raised an eyebrow. “I envy you, Vision Holders. The Thinkers can say what they want: There is something different about you.”

“I dunno where parahumans get their powers from. Venti said something about a dead god…” the woman shrugged, looking uncomfortable as she fingered her Vision. “But I have a pretty good idea of where my Vision came from.”

“Oh?” Mushu and Vornheim raised their eyebrows at that one.

Capri nodded, and jerked her head at Raiden. “I’m a bit of a loner weirdo myself.”

“That is a bit impolitic, given present company-” Vornheim began, until he looked at Mushu, who had been fighting back a laugh.

Maybe he was drunk, because he started coughing, then wheezing, then pounding the table with his head down on it. “I KEEP TELLING PEOPLE SHE’S A HIKIKOMORI, BUT NO ONE BELIEVES ME! MY GOD IS A GOOF, AND I WOULDN’T CHANGE A-”

The lightning bolt that struck Mushu tickled, and when he felt himself shrinking, he knew what was happening. “-thing. You’re just proving my point, woman! Who makes their familiar a damn Disney Character!?”

Raiden was studiously not looking at him, and Mushu grinned, hopping up onto the surface of the table. “I mean, look at me. I even sound like Eddie Murphy.”

“That is a bit…odd,” Vornheim acknowledged. “However…I gave up my belief in a god long before Cologne, and I have seen little to change that in the years that followed. I may have made a deal with the Devil, but my one priority is saving German lives.”

“Does that include me,” Capri asked icily, leaning forward on the table.

Vornheim looked down into his stein, and a look of deep shame came over him. “...for my part, yes. But…the needs of the many…”

Capri slammed a fist on the table, sending out sparks and making it rattle while Mushu jumped up into the air with a yelp. “FUCK THAT! Do you really want to go back to when Germans were the bad guys?”

“I was willing to sell my soul to save my countrymen,” Vornheim admitted, unable to meet Capri’s eyes. “It is distasteful, but…you were not there, young lady. You did not see…nothing could stop Behemoth. Not Macher, not Brunhilda, not the damn PRT and the Americans. Nothing.”

“Wrong,” Capri growled, and she pointed a finger at Venti. “He can.”

Vornheim looked up, his expression incredulous. Venti had launched into another song, this one a rather popular one at Oktoberfest appropriately enough.

If you're not in the mood today,

let everything be as it is,

we want to drink, drink another one,

because you forget your worries

“Seriously? Him?” The incredulous look on Vornheim’s face said it all.

Mushu glanced at Venti, then over at Raiden. “Would you have thought she could kill Leviathan at a stroke?”

“Well, I mean, she is…” Vornheim trailed off, glancing over at Raiden, who was blushing and pretending not to look at Mushu still as she drained another bottle of soda. “Well. She is Raiden.”

“And he’s Barbatos,” Capri said, stabbing a finger at the table where the wood had splintered at her power-fueled blow. “He’s the Anemo Archon. And if another Endbringer fucks around with us, Venti will make sure they find out.”

“I…I want to believe you, but…” Vornheim spread his hands. “Where is your proof? He’s performed a few remarkable feats, I’ll give you that. But he’s not fought an Endbringer, and he certainly hasn’t slain one. Raiden has.”

“Is that what it will take?” Capri demanded, glaring at Vornheim. “Is that what would have to happen for you to believe?”

Vornheim considered that for a long moment. Finally, he shook his head. “No. But it would take a miracle. Something…something beyond belief.”

“Fine. One miracle. Coming right the fuck up,” Capri drained her bottle, and slammed it down, glaring at them.

Mushu waited, cocking his head to one side. Vornheim was actually holding his breath.

Seeming to realize that, Capri blushed. “Not this instant, you idiot! But just you wait. Venti’s gonna do something that will blow you all away. Literally.”

“Well, here’s to that,” Vornheim said. He lifted his mug and drained it, then turned it upside down and set it on the table. Taking out his billfold, he left some money on the table. “And with that, I depart. There is always more work to be done.”

The party didn’t continue for too long after that, as Ami and Clara were yawning, and it was bedtime for them. The owner approached Venti and Raiden, beaming and bowing. “Such a big crowd! Thank you! I put a discount on your bill, here it is.”

He held it out to Raiden, who took the bill, looked at it, and frowned. “I have no funds with me.” Then she held out the bill to Venti.

“Ehe! Uh, I’m a little short on cash myself at this point. Capri?”

“Oh no you don’t. Just from you alone, you drank over 1000 marks worth of liquor! I don’t have that kind of money!” she declared, crossing her arms in denial.

“But…but the bill,” the owner said, looking like he was about to pass out. “You all…you all drank and ate so much…”

“Outta my way, outta my way,” Mushu grumbled, having to hop off the table. He retrieved his wallet from his clothes, then stalked forward, carrying it over his head, it was almost as big as he was now, and up to Raiden. He snaked up her leg and body to perch on her shoulder. “Gimme that!” Taking the bill, he reviewed it, and snorted lightning in disgust. “You ordered HOW many bottles of coke?! I didn’t even see you go to the bathroom, how did you not explode?!”

“Gods do not require the use of the privy,” Ei sniffed.

“Speak for yourself, what goes in must come out of this body,” Venti laughed.

“Inefficient,” Ei and Tsukuyomi said at the same time.

“Can you…can you foot the bill?” the owner asked desperately, looking at Mushu with pleading eyes.

He sighed and opened up the wallet, pulling out his credit card, which was comically oversized in his tiny claws. “Got you covered right here. Ring me up. But you owe me, both of you. Especially you, Mr. Drinks a Lot! It’s ridiculous enough that someone drank sixty two bottles of coke in five hours! How the bleep you put away-oh come on now! I can’t even say bleep?! What kind of BLEEP BLEEP BLEEPITY BLEEP-”

Keiga had to calm Mushu down after that, hugging his body to her chest, but the truly ludicrous bar tab was settled, thanks to the deep pockets of Mushu’s own personal bank account. But it was a close thing.

After that, the motorcade back to the hotel was there, and Raiden and Venti moved apart from the others to say their farewells. To Mushu’s surprise, he was placed on Raiden’s shoulder to bid the Anemo Archon a good night.

“It has been…interesting, seeing you once more, Barbatos,” Ei said, inclining her head to Venti, one ruler to another.

“Yeah, it’s been great, catching up on old times! We’ll have to do it again sometime,” Venti said with a broad grin.

“Perhaps. In another century or so,” Ei allowed. “Your company is…well. It is of the sort that satisfies my need for it for a great deal of time.”

“You mean I drive you nuts the same as always,” Venti said, fluttering his eyelashes at Ei.

“Yes,” Ei agreed without missing a beat.

“Ehe! Well, I understand. I hope I won’t have a need to call on you sooner.” Venti turned his eyes to Mushu, and gravely extended a finger to him. “Take care of Beezy, little dragon. We might not be Besties, but she needs you. More than she’ll say.”

“I had that part figured out already,” Mushu muttered, but shook the offered finger regardless. “Don’t forget: You owe me. I ain’t paying any more dumbass bar tabs of yours until we’re square.”

“Well, then I’ll simply have to find a way to settle accounts that doesn’t involve monetary remuneration!” Venti laughed. He headed off towards Capri and the other German capes, and they went back for another round.

“Drunks. The lot of them,” Mushu said with a snort.

“I have never understood the appeal of alcohol,” Ei agreed. “Come. We must away.”

“Hold on. Call your idiot daughter over here. No, not Ami, the other one,” Mushu ordered. Raiden frowned, but did as he told her. Mushu stuck his claws in his mouth and tried to whistle, but he just blew hard. “Damn. No lips. HEY YOU! Ninja girl! Get your ass over here!”

“M-me?” Sara Tengan gasped, but she hurried over, blushing as she bowed before the Raidens. “I am honored, m-my lady, and I apologize, I, ah, I sort of forgot I was supposed to kill the Anemo Archon, but if you just give me some time to-”

“You forgot to what?” Mushu growled, leaning out from Ei’s shoulder with his tail wrapped around her neck.

“Kill?” Ei frowned, her eyes flashing in irritation. “Why would I order such a thing? Who told you this? Lord Nakamura mentioned the same.”

“You didn’t!? But then why would the Evening Star tell us to…” Sara flung herself to the ground, prostrating herself. “Forgive me, your Excellency! I did not wish to-”

“Not here. Not now,” Mushu said, reeling himself back onto Ei’s shoulder. Weird how natural this felt.

“Yes. I have a troublesome priest to speak with,” Raiden said, and with a slash of her palm, she opened a gateway.

Mushu rubbed his tiny palms together. “Yeah…let’s talk.”

There was a certain point where Sara’s life had gone out of control. She wasn’t really certain when it was, but it had definitely happened. Now she was stepping through a portal with Raiden herself! Sara knew exactly what was going to happen: Now that Raiden had a daughter, she needed Sara to help continue the bloodline. They would kiss passionately under the moonlight and-

No, no, Sara had a boyfriend now. And not just the one she lied and told everyone she had. She still wasn’t really sure how that had happened, but apparently, Itul was actually interested in dating her, which was nice. He was very handsome, after all. Not as wonderful as her Supreme Excellency, the Narukami Oshogo, but he shared Sara’s passion for Raiden, and agreed that Raiden truly did have the best thighs in all of creation.

Stepping through the portal, Sara looked around, seeing the rising sun on the horizon. She let out a small gasp, realizing they were back in Japan. But she hadn’t even kissed Itul yet! Was this a sign that Raiden wished to save Sara’s affections for herself?!

Her daydreams ended when Sara realized where she was, and who the bald man behind the desk before them was.

“Your Excellency!” Kenichi cried, and fell to his hands and knees in a bow, showing he was a wise and discerning person. “I had just received word that the foul Anemo Archon had been slain. Ah, I see Tengu is with you, well done. Though I am surprised you enlisted the aid of the Inazuma no Himi-”

“Kenichi,” Raiden growled, and the head of the Yashiro commission looked up in startlement. “What did I say in my message to you?”

“Why, to seek out and eliminate-”

The boom of thunder overhead interrupted Kenichi, and his eyes went wide.

“Tengu. What were my instructions?” Raiden said, her voice calm, but her expression stormy.

Sara froze. She’d sort of forgotten about that. “Um, to find the Anemo Archon, and keep your daughter safe?”

The curt nod in response calmed Sara’s fear she’d managed to screw this up. Disappointing Raiden was the last thing she wanted to do.

“It seems only one of my servants in the Shuumatsuban understood my will,” Raiden said, her tones ice as the sky rumbled in anger. “‘Seek out the Anemo Archon with all due haste’. Those were my words to you. What part of this made you think I wished for the death of Barbatos?”

“Well, ah, there can be no god but you, and it is my duty to spread your word to the infidels and foreign devils who deny your-”

I AM THE NARUKAMI OF JAPAN. NOT OF GERMANY. NOT OF CHINA. NOT THE WORLD. JAPAN.

Before she even realized what she was doing, Sara was on her knees and looking up in awe as Raiden’s braid whipped about her, her expression furious.

WAR IS THE ENEMY OF ETERNITY. THERE IS BUT ONE GOD YOU MUST FEAR, KENICHI. AND IT IS NOT BARBATOS.

“I fear only you, Raiden, you are the only true god!” Kenichi said, looking up, his own eyes filled with zealous obsession.

THEN YOU ARE A FOOL. AND I DO NOT SUFFER FOOLS TO SERVE ME. YOU ARE FORTUNATE THAT THE SHUUMATSUBAN AGENT YOU SENT WAS MORE ATTUNED TO MY WILL THAN THE OTHERS. THEY SHALL BE RECALLED.

“I…I accept your judgment. My life is yours, God of Eternity! I will take my own life if you will it,” Kenichi said, tears filling his eyes as he took out his sword and grasped the blade with his hands, blood pouring down to stain his robes as he prepared to take his own life.

A spark shot out and knocked the blade away, causing Kenichi to gasp as his fingers knitted themselves back together.

“You are a fool, Kenichi. But you are not a traitor,” Mushu said from his perch on Raiden’s shoulder, lowering his finger. Sara was jealous. She wanted to ride Raiden. Or better yet, have Raiden ride her.

As a bird. Yes. She would turn into a bird. That’s what she meant.

Also the other thing.

“I do not require your life,” Raiden said, turning her back on Kenichi. “You will retire to Sarufutsu, Hokkaido, where you will keep a shrine to me. Your loyalty is commendable, but your passion is ill-suited for this position.”

“I…I accept your judgment, Your Excellency,” Kenichi said, sounding numb. He stood on shaky legs. “If…if I have brought dishonor to you, I can still take my own life…”

“You are forbidden from doing so. Such is against my precepts,” Raiden said firmly. “Depart now.”

“I…at once,” Kenichi said, sounding dazed, and walked out of the office.

Sara watched him go, still on the ground. She looked up at Raiden hesitantly. “Am…am I banished too?”

“Hmm?” Raiden looked down at Sara, frowning. “No. You are the only one of my servants who seemed to understand her mission, and you succeeded. You will be rewarded.”

“Is she to head the Yashiro Commission?” Tsu asked. Raiden’s secret daughter was very exciting. She was almost as beautiful to Sara, but she’d given some speech about “a god not taking lovers” when Sara had tried to compliment her. Not that Sara wanted to sleep with Tsu. Though she did look a lot like her mother, and she was a part of Raiden, right? So she-

“No. Mushu shall locate a suitable replacement. I erred in selecting a man purely for his loyalty and passion. Kenichi did not have the proper temperament. Have Nakamura help you. However, another change must be made.”

“And what’s that?” Mushu asked, folding his little arms.

“Tsukuyomi. You shall lead the Shuumatsuban. You have studied the ways of this world, and know how best to wield this blade. As my kagemusha, you shall lead the other shadow warriors in safeguarding Japan and Eternity,” Raiden decreed.

Tsukoyomi blinked. “If that is your will, mother…”

“It is. You wish to test yourself on the battlefield? Here is your opportunity. Find your Aspect, and embody it. There is no better path to knowing oneself than combat.”

That sounded incredibly cryptic to Sara, but also completely awesome.

“Take Tengu as your second. Should she live up to her name, I shall grant her its power,” Raiden continued.

“Me?! Second in command of the Shuumatsuban?!” Sara gasped, her eyes going wide in shock. She’d thought she was going to be punished for forgetting about her mission, not rewarded for it.

“You are the only one of my agents who it seems understands true Eternity,” Raiden informed Sara. Sara wondered if anyone else thought that Raiden’s thighs were the only Eternity for them.

“I…I will do my utmost to serve honorably and well,” Sara said, bowing her forehead to the ground again.

“I accept this commission,” Tsukuyomi agreed. “I will walk in your footsteps, Mother.”

“Then make haste. For I know not how much time remains to us,” Raiden said solemnly. She opened a portal to the hotel back in Germany. “Depart. Your work is yet undone.”

Nodding, Sara spared a glance over her shoulder back at Raiden, who was talking quietly to Mushu. After a few exchanges, the little dragon hopped off her shoulder and scurried through the portal. A moment later, it closed, with Raiden on the other side.

Once it was closed though, Sara realized she was in a pickle. Technically, her mission was now over. Should she just return to Japan? Was she allowed to attend MEX with her boyfriend that she’d definitely had all along? Hard questions to answer.

Before she could figure out what to do though, Tsukuyomi’s body suddenly rippled, and Raiden was standing there.

“My actions this day will have caused a stir in the diplomatic community. Mushu, summon the press, that I might hold court,” she declared.

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that after someone lifts this damn curse,” Mushu growled, though it came out as more of a purr at his size. “I ain’t callin’ no press conference when I’m all of 18 inches tall and sound like a damn comedian. Shit, I’m even using Imperial Measurements and I ain’t got a clue what they mean!”

“Very well, your punishment is lifted,” Raiden-Tsu declared, and a moment later, Sara was blushing and turning away. She wondered if Itul was as well muscled and…equipped.

“Great. Well, I’ll just go get changed. Sara, you go find the girls and keep them out of trouble. I don’t exactly approve of their mad cape adventures in foreign countries but it’s a damn sight better than Clara blowing up another bus.”

“I, I will do so at once!” Sara agreed and scurried away. She found that Ami and Sara were already asleep, and went to her own quarters. She wondered if it were possible for her fanfictions to be violations of national security.

And also what the Raiden Mains on the Parahumans board would think of her Tengu/Raiden/Raidens’ clone ship.

“Thank you for your custom, Traveler, and remember-”

“Our journey leads us onward!” the pimply pair of teenagers squealed in excitement, clutching the photos they’d taken with Naomi. She smiled at them and curtsied, prompting further sounds of delight, then they ran off to the next booth to visit.

“Hey, Naomi, you eaten yet?” Cookie called, coming over.

She shook her head, her shoulders slumping in exhaustion. After staying up until who knew when and drinking far more wine than she should have, Naomi felt like death warmed over. This had been a lot easier a few years ago. She wasn’t even 30 yet, and she already felt like an old woman.

“No, I haven’t,” Naomi said, checking her watch and grimacing. It was nearly 2pm, and she’d worked right through lunch. Plus, the Tone Deaf Bards were supposed to put on a show in just a couple of hours.

Whatever she’d expected after having dinner with the Raiden Shogun and her retainers, along with the head of the Meisters…going back to being a booth bunny the next day wasn’t it.

“Great, neither have I. Come on, you can come back to the green room and we’ll get a bite to eat,” Cookie ordered.

It did take a few minutes to get through the crowd, as there were lots of people who still wanted Naomi’s picture and a few staff members who wanted problems solved by Cookie, but at last, they made it to the staff room in the back. With a sigh of relief, Naomi took off her headdress and tossed it onto a couch, then slumped down, too tired to even move or think.

A few minutes later, someone pressed something cold to her forehead, and she muttered her thanks, opening her eyes to see it was Cookie with a cold energy drink.

“You look as beat as I feel. I am never trying to keep up with Venti in drinks again. I’d be basically dead without my Vision,” Cookie said, falling back onto the couch and passing Naomi a plastic container that proved to have a sandwich and a bag of potato chips. Not exactly health food, but then again Naomi was a bit too tired to care about her figure or health at this point.

“You tried to keep up with Venti’s drinking? I think that’s how you get liver failure,” Naomi said, then took a bite of her sandwich. It tasted divine, despite looking like the cheap kind you’d buy at a grocer with lots of grease and mayo on it. She was hungrier than she’d thought.

“I have too much experience from my college days, but it is getting a lot harder now that I’m hitting the big three oh next year,” Cookie said around a mouthful of her food.

Naomi very deliberately did not chide the other woman. She was not her mother. She was not a bitch. Even if it was extremely gross and annoying. It had taken her almost a year before she broke Capri of the habit.

Venti was a lost cause and Naomi wasn’t even going to bother trying, but the Lord should see to it that his messengers were better acquainted with proper table manners.

Wiping her mouth on a napkin, Naomi nodded. “Yes, I suppose without my own Vision I’d be bleary-eyed and noncommunicative today. You’re using yours again? Are you going to join the Knights of Favonius?”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Venti made me an offer, and I’m tempted, but…” Cookie looked around, but the other staffers and guests were involved in their own conversations and food, and weren’t paying attention. She lowered her voice anyway and whispered, “But is he really a god?”

“No,” Naomi sniffed. “He’s merely a messenger sent by Adonai, for there are no other gods save the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.”

Cookie looked at Naomi funny for a moment, and she did her best not to glare back, instead giving her a sweet smile.

“So, he’s just an insanely powerful supernatural being who can grant powers, and wants to wipe out the Nazis, and is BBFs with the Raiden Shogun who is also apparently an ancient goddess,” Cookie said in overly acerbic tones. She rolled her eyes when Naomi opened her mouth and added, “Sorry, ‘angel’ or whatever.”

“Well, he can’t grant powers, or so he says, but Capri and I did get our Visions right after talking to him, so…um…Yes?” Naomi said with a shrug.

“Whatever floats your boat, but I think that meets at least some definitions of ‘god,’” Cookie said, slouching back down and taking another bite of food. Not that this prevented her from continuing on, “I’m tempted to take the job, but I want something in return.”

“Uh, the Knights are currently a volunteer organization, so, um, there isn’t much pay,” Naomi said, wincing slightly. That very lack of pay was why she was here today: Raiden might have covered the bill from last night, but they still needed gas and food to continue their crusade.

She might have to remind the Lord in her prayers again that He was supposed to take care of His children, and if He really wanted His People to be protected and to stop evil He’d better make sure Naomi’s purse was a little less empty.

“Nah, not that. I want his Casket of Tomes to study,” Cookie said, leaning forward. The bit of crumbs and mustard at the corner of her mouth very nearly made Naomi lean forward and wipe it off for her, but that was the sort of thing her mother would do and Lord help her she was NOT her mother!

“Ah, I’m sure we could arrange that,” Naomi said. Then she practically heard Capri shout in her ears, and she sighed. She hated playing into certain stereotypes about her people, even if her nose was bigger than she’d like, someone had to think of the finances of their little group and it certainly wasn’t going to be Capri or Mr. Someone-Else-Will-Find-the-Money. “But there will be a nominal rental fee involved.”

“I’m willing to pay a one-time lump sum of 20,000 marks, with an additional sum of up to 80,000 marks when the product goes to market if you sign the rights over to me,” Cookie said, her eyes glowing purple at the same time the Vision on her lanyard sparked with energy.

That much money made Naomii’s head spin. Sure, her yearly allowance used to be about that, but she’d not had that much money in her bank account since shortly after she’d run away from home with Capri. It had all been terribly romantic until about four months in when the money ran out, but Naomi had stuck with it. Some things were worthy far more than any amount of marks, and Freedom was at the top of that list, right below Love.

“I, uh, I think that sounds acceptable,” she managed. By the vicious grin on Cookie’s lips, Naomi knew she could have pressed for more money. But really, what would they even do with more money? And she really wasn’t a greedy person. “I’ll just talk to Venti about it when he gets off work.”

“What work? He skived off with that muscle-headed moron as soon as Clara and Ami showed up because that stupid dragon is doing the translation work for him! If he thinks I’m paying him to goof off, that bard has another thing coming!” Cookie vowed.

“Uh, shouldn’t you be more respectful? He is, well, he isn’t human, you know,” Naomi said quietly.

“Oh please. Just because I’m going to convert to his religion doesn’t mean I’m going to be any more respectful of him than I am of any other shirker. He who does not work does not eat!” Cookie declared. She glanced at the clock. “Speaking off, back to work with you. I’m not paying you to lounge around all day! Now where are those two idiots…”

Sighing, Naomi put her headdress back on and headed back to the door. For a goy, Cookie certainly had the same attitude Naomi had seen from certain Rabbis.

And with that impious thought, it was showtime. Stepping out onto the floor, Naomi banished her weariness and pasted on her most dazzling smile. Life, and the show, must go on.

The Second Archon War, Carmen Dei 12

Brought to you by my patreon Koreanwriter

Beta’d and edited by Dr Feelgood, Philosophysics, and The Grand Cogitator.

It had been a slow day at the bar, largely because of the ongoing cape fight. People were staying at home, which meant business was poor. That wasn’t something Franz could really afford. His beer garden, the Dandelion's Breeze, wasn’t doing so well anyway. He’d sent the rest of the staff home, but he didn’t feel like heading back himself. His daughter and wife, Natasha and Ada, were back inside, doing inventory and cleaning in the kitchen. None of them wanted to go home and simply sit around. He half hoped he’d get a few customers, but he wasn’t hopeful.

Sighing, Franz swept the path between the kitchen and the outdoor seating under the trees. This beer garden had been in operation since the first part of the 19th century. It was far from the oldest in Berlin, but it had almost 200 years of history. He didn’t want to be the one to lose the family business, but it wasn’t looking good. Times were tough in Germany, and it was hard to make ends meet.

He looked up into the sky and blinked. It had been dark, despite being midafternoon, but the clouds were breaking up. He hadn’t heard thunder in the last minute or so either. Was it over, then?

As he was pondering that, he caught sight of two figures descending towards him, and his broom clattered from his numb hands as he looked up, horrified.

The Raiden Shogun herself was walking down a path she was making from purple sparks in midair, while a green-cloaked girl- wait, no, boy? He wasn’t sure…anyway, another individual hovered beside her. The green one was dressed in odd-looking clothes, like something from Oktoberfest, while the Shogun wore her purple Kimono with scandalously short skirts. He hastily cast his eyes down and said a brief prayer. He wasn’t a religious man, but when the most powerful parahuman on the planet and the person she’d been chasing for the past couple of hours headed for you, prayer was about the only option a mere mortal had left.

“Don’t worry, we’re not here to wreck your beer garden!” a cheery voice called.

Franz looked up in astonishment as the two capes touched down, then strolled up to Franz, who was cringing still. He was taller than both of them if he stood up straight, but his heart was hammering in his ears, and he felt like his knees were about to give out.

“Table for two?” the green one asked. Raiden nodded silently.

Franz blinked, then slowly stood up, his brow furrowing. “Uh, we are open…you can have a seat anywhere…”

“Excellent! You do have dandelion wine, don’t you? A bottle and two glasses for my friend and I, and something tasty as a side dish!” the green one said, leading Raiden over to a table in the shade of the oak that had been planted when the Dandelion's Breeze had first opened, a mighty tree indeed by this point.

“I…yes! It’s not very popular, but my wife and I brew it ourselves,” Franz said, nodding as his head spun so hard he felt dizzy.

“Perfect! I knew I liked you, Franz!” the boy said, they definitely seemed like a boy.

“Er, yes, it’ll be right out, Mister…?”

“Venti! And you can call my friend…what do the mortals call you now?”

“Raiden,” the Endslayer said, pausing to lift her finger and pluck a bright red oak left from a low-hanging branch.

“Bit on the nose, but eh, I can’t talk. I go by Venti Luft myself.”

“It will be right out,” Franz said, and rushed back inside. Natasha looked up from where she’d been counting the bottles of beer and wine they had behind the counter, while Ada peeked her head in from the kitchen, kerchiefs on both their heads.

“Customers!” Franz sputtered. “Dandelion wine! Food! Quickly!”

“Oh, who are they?” Natasha said, standing up and peering through the window. She let out a squeak and stumbled back, bumping against the back shelf and slumping to the floor, hands over her mouth.

“What is it?” Ada said, wiping her hands on a rag and starting to leave. “Who is it?”

“Raiden!” Franz said, waving his hands. “And the one she was chasing! They…they want drink! Food! Hurry!”

Ada gave her husband a look like he’d goosed her, then raced back into the kitchen. Natasha got to shaky feet, taking out a pad of paper. “What…what do they want?”

“Dandelion wine! Quick, the batch from ‘99! That was my best year!” Franz urged, and Natasha quickly handed him a bottle and two glasses, which Franz hurried back out to the two capes. One of which was the leader of Japan. A queen in her own right! A goddess!

With shaking hands, Franz set the bottle and glasses on the table. “My wife, she is making schnitzel now, but we have some potato chips if you would like those…?”

“Of course! Make enough for…” Venti cocked his head to one side, holding up fingers as he appeared to count to himself. “At least a dozen!”

“Oh? Who is coming?” Raiden asked, though she seemed completely calm.

“Your pet dragon and his mate, your ward and her friend, a ninja, my two bandmates, a himbo, the Cookie Monster, and the leader of the Meisters,” Venti said with a shrug. “They’ll be here in a few minutes, you’ll have to introduce me to your new companions. I didn’t think you were one to adopt!”

“Eternity is…lonesome, at times. Mediation was not enough to stave off Erosion. There must be an anchor. Family, friends, they are needed,” Raiden said with a slight shrug.

“Couldn’t agree more!” Venti said with a nod. “Oh, will your other daughter be coming?”

“Perhaps. I have been reading on how to bring up a child. It is…different from my previous experiences.”

“Well, don’t put her in time out on my account!” Venti laughed, and Franz turned to go. A dozen people? Well, that wasn’t a proper crowd, but it was a good start!

When he came back out with the chips, there was a second woman, this one also Japanese, sitting beside Raiden. She was dressed in a dark purple kimono, with black hair, and looked to be a teenage version of Raiden. By her expression, she was sulking, and Franz felt a strange pang of sympathy for the Raiden Shogun. Natasha was 22 now, but he could well remember the moodiness of his own daughter at that age.

“What will you have, miss?” Franz asked.

“Tsu,” Venti said, pointing. “This is Franz! And I must say, this dandelion wine? Excellent!”

“I do not drink alcohol, nor sugary drinks,” Tsu said, her tone frosty. “They are the enemies of Eternity.”

“She will have tea,” Raiden said, a familiar look of exasperation on her face.

“Of course, of course,” Franz agreed, setting down the chips. He noted that the bottle of dandelion wine was practically gone, and from how Venti was draining his current glass, Franz had a pretty good idea of why. “Another bottle?”

“Of course! Though, do you have sake?” Venti asked.

“Sorry, no. Beer and wine only, no hard spirits,” Franz said apologetically.

“Japanese beers?” Venti asked, and Franz nodded at that.

“Several, sir. Sapporo, Yebishu, Kirin-”

“Ah, Kirin sounds perfect! A bottle of that for my friend and tea for her daughter. Uh, if anyone asks, she’s eighteen,” Venti said, leaning towards Franz and dropping his voice to a conspiratorial whisper.

“Of course, a Kirin and tea, and another bottle of dandelion wine,” Franz agreed, and bustled out and back, then returned a few minutes later with the platter of schnitzel, just as a giant dragon touched down and nearly made him faint.

The dragon growled something in Japanese, which Raiden replied to, while Franz tried not to have another heart attack. Then the dragon shrank down to the size of a man, a rather famous one at that. Franz realized he should have known who it was: Lord Mushu, the only other living Endslayer. Though most of the credit did still go to Raiden, everyone knew that Mushu was perhaps the second strongest cape in the world, except for those fools who thought Eidolon or Alexandria was stronger. Franz hadn’t ever heard of the Americans killing an Endbringer.

“What will you have, sir?” Franz asked, smiling at the man as Raiden handed him a robe she pulled out of thin air and tried to ignore the fact that he was naked.

“Beer,” Mushu grunted, and Franz decided to make it a Kirin. When he came back, Mushu and the teenager were sitting at a table some distance from the other two, who were still talking, and simply staring at one another. Franz wondered if this was Mushu’s and Raiden’s daughter. No, impossible. Mushu was about Natasha’s age, while Raiden was…how old was she? Franz wasn’t stupid enough to ask, not by a long shot. You were dumb enough to ask a normal woman her age. Forget asking one that could carve mountains in half.

Just as he was serving Mushu his beer, there was a crackle of thunder, and he had to wonder what madness was coming this time. It turned out to be a unicorn made of lightning with shimmering scales thundering down out of the sky with three more customers: two young girls, and a young woman.

The young girls ran over to Raiden, while the woman sat down next to Mushu. One was the Japanese Imperial princess Ami, the other was Clara Mueller, a girl with a German father who had become something of a companion for the princess. More renowned celebrities. Perhaps Franz could use this in advertising later?

“Ah, what will you have, then?” Franz asked, trying to pretend that they’d arrived like normal people as the unicorn shrank down and became a little dragon.

“Beer,” Mushu grunted, pointing to the young woman, which appeared to be about the only German word he knew.

However, his companion shook her head and said something else. Whatever it was, it so astonished Mushu that he grew three feet and sprouted horns, and broke the bench and table he was sitting at.

That caused a bit of an uproar, with the various Japanese dignitaries all coming over and exclaiming along with Venti. Mushu was crying now, and then he kissed his companion and they were both crying, with the two children jumping about and shouting excitedly.

“Ah, it’s no bother, the bench, it is fine,” Franz said hastily. “Please, you do not need to go.”

“No, no, that’s not it, Keiga just told Mushu she’s pregnant,” Venti explained with a laugh. “She says no alcohol for her.”

Franz beamed at this, and pounded Mushu on the back, grinning as he pumped the young man’s hand. “Congratulations! It is a wonderful thing to be a father! Your next drink is on me!”

Then he turned around in time to see Raiden make a gesture, and the bench and table flew back together, though now veins of purple ran through where it had broken. He had himself a long overdue drink before carrying the next round back out, where he found the party had doubled in size.

“Hey gramps!” a tall young man said, waving happily to him. He was bare-chested, which looked cold to Franz in this frosty weather, but then again, if he had been young and there had been so many lovely young women around, he might have gone bare-chested in the middle of winter too if he’d ever had such fine muscles as this boy. “Can we get some drinks over here?”

He was sitting with three young women, all of them in odd costumes that would have pegged them as capes even before Franz spotted the Visions on their persons. One with red hair, one with black hair, and the other with green hair. Yes. Definitely capes.

“Of course, of course, what will you be having? Are you with the other party?” Franz asked.

“Eh, just some beers for me. Whatever Mushu is having, I can handle! How about you, ladies?”

“The house beer,” the green-haired one said.

“Red wine for us,” the redhead said, indicating her dark-haired companion, who was glowering over at Venti and Raiden for some reason. They’d gone back to a private table away from both this and the Japanese table, where Franz realized another woman had sat, and hurried over to take her order.

“Miss Tengan will have a Kirin beer,” the little dragon said, which Franz struggled to take with equanimity. “My Mistress and Miss Clara will have colas.”

“At once. And food?” Franz asked.

“Pretzels!” Clara said excitedly, apparently following the conversation. “Big soft ones!”

“Yes, of course,” Franz agreed and dashed back even as Natasha hustled out with more drinks. “Take the food order of the table over there, I forgot.”

“Yes, papa,” Natasha agreed, grinning at the bare-chested young man and hurrying over to him.

Well. The half-naked boy might have nice muscles, but he wasn’t poaching Natasha. She needed a good boy who could help her run this place one day, not one of those reckless capes.

Not long after, Vornheim appeared, from where Franz had no idea, and politely ordered the house beer and some fish while sitting with the other Germans, though one of the Japanese women, Sara, Franz thought? Was now sitting with the young man, which earned her a glare from Natasha when she overheard a snippet of conversation.

“We’re really dating! No, seriously, ask her! <Come on, Sara, tell them! We’re dating!>”

“<H-how did you know I was telling people we were dating, Itul!? Who told you?!>” Sara demanded, looking flustered.

“<Wait, hold on,>” the green-haired one everyone called “Cookie” for some reason demanded, putting her bottle of beer down. “<Were you two ACTUALLY dating? Because this idiot has been telling anyone who would listen that you were for years now!>”

Sara and Itul exchanged embarrassed looks, and at the same time said, “<Yes!>”

“<I don’t believe it,>” the dark-haired one, Capri, Franz thought? Yes, Capri, said with a snort of disgust.

“<Hey, I’m Itul ‘Never Tells a Lie Not Even a White One’ Armburst! Why wouldn’t you believe I could land a babe like her?>” the young man protested, though he was blushing and rubbing the back of his head.

“<Um, yes, we were absolutely dating, and I didn’t just tell my parents and other con goers that I had a boyfriend in Germany just to get them to stop bothering me,>” Sara muttered.

“<We’ve even had sex! So I’m not a virgin, Cookie!>”

“<Yes, definitely, we are very experienced!>” Sara agreed, both of their faces so red they looked like they’d had six times the number of beers they really had.

The Cookie in question did not look like she believed them, but neither did she look to care enough to voice her disbelief.

Vornheim let out a pained sigh, and stood up to go sit down at the Japanese table. “I might not understand what you all are saying, but surely your conversation is more refined than that mess.”

“Oh my gosh! You’re Vornheim!” Clara gasped. “I have all your toys!”

Ami let out a similar high-pitched squeal. “I love your show! Have you seen mine?! We should do a crossover episode!”

Vornheim looked like he’d bitten a lemon and motioned for another beer, which Franz hastily supplied, even as Ada hustled out with a tray of pretzels fresh out of the oven. It wasn’t the largest group they’d had, but they were certainly one of the more spirited ones.

Ei regarded the group of her family and familiars, and a feeling of warmth filled her. She had long striven to be cold, dispassionate, and distant, to not allow herself to feel or become involved in mortal affairs. Ever since…

“Barbatos. You knew of my sister, Baal?” Raiden said, the words popping out of her mouth before she could call them back.

Draining yet another glass of that vile wine, Ei could not comprehend how Barbatos could stand the stuff, the God of Freedom nodded. “Yes. She was one of the original Seven. There was a time when I would have called us friends, said we were close. Back when…”

“Back when I was but a shadow,” Ei said with a sigh. She looked down at her glass of soda. She had given up on beer. It was not bad, but she far preferred this sweet fizzy drink to the bitter beers. A tear rolled down her cheek. The first she had allowed herself in…well. Centuries.

“She was a good woman. And a wise and compassionate god. I miss her too,” Barbatos said quietly, reaching out to rest his hands on Ei’s.

“Yes. It has been five hundred years, and yet…the pain…” Ei squeezed her eyes shut. “Does it ever stop?”

Barbatos was quiet for a long time, and when Ei looked up, his cheeks were wet as well. Was it Makoto he mourned? Surely not. He had lost as well.

“No, it doesn’t. That’s our curse. What truly causes Erosion, I think. The weight of it all. The pain. The memories. We live so long. I’m relatively young compared to you or Morax, and yet…I think of Vanessa, of your sister, of so many others I have lost…and it still hurts. The pain never really goes away.”

They shared the silence for a while until there was a burst of laughter from the mortals. Ei looked up to see Mushu excitedly telling the German mortals of his coming child, and that Keiga had agreed to wed him. They were all congratulating her familiar through Clara and Murasaki, and they were all smiles. Mushu turned to grin at Ei, then saw her tears, and started, looking concerned.

She wiped them away and raised her glass in a silent toast. She smiled, and even though the pain was still there, her smile was genuine, and warm. Mushu relaxed and returned the grin. “BANZAI! TEN THOUSAND YEARS OF HAPPINESS!”

“BANZAI!” everyone roared, even Ei.

The mortals continued to celebrate, while Ei turned back to Barbatos. “I think I understand now. There is pain and sorrow, but also joy.”

“Yes.” Barbatos was smiling at Mushu and the others, though he seemed wistful. “They live such a short time, but they experience so much more… There have been times I wish I had taken a lover, sired or mothered a child. Is that why you adopted Ami, and made Tsukuyomi?”

“No,” Ei said quietly. “I wish it had been. My reasons were more…pragmatic.”

Barbatos turned to her, a look of puzzlement on his face.

What came next, Ei would not speak. Not in words. She took Barbato’s hand again, not even trusting to send the words through the air.

The Sustainer of this world. Have you met them?

That got Barbatos’s attention, and he turned back to her fully.

Yes. Once. Briefly. What are the Dictates?

I do not know. And I fear to ask. From what I have seen…

This one is just as merciful as Celestia ever was, Barbatos sent, and the look of his disgust gave his mental projection the lie. Wise of you. But what does that have to do with…?

Ei turned back to her retainers and felt a pang. We were not always alone, you and I. Andrius. Myself to my sister.

That took Barbatos a few moments to digest. So. You would take Dantilion’s route? She has been ever bitter about the death of her predecessor. If the rumors were true…

That path is not open to us. We have not the poisoned gift of Celestia, so I will not pursue that folly, as Dantilion did. Nor will I destroy this world to get my revenge. But…

But they gave us the names of the demons who cast down God for a reason.

What do you mean? I do not understand.

Ars Goetia. It’s a book from this world. Look it up some time. There are copies in the libraries here in Berlin, and I’ve studied them. Very interesting. It seems they too had the idea that it was Heaven who cast down the true gods in their cruel tyranny.

Perhaps. I will seek out this manuscript. What are your plans, Barbatos?

I am not certain…Have you found the remnants of the Dead God from this world?

Dead gods? I have searched for them, yes, but I have found none save the Sustainer.

Yes, but he is not…well. It is a matter of semantics. He is not of Celestia, nor one of our kin. He is something else.

,

Perhaps. What of this dead god? What happened to them? Where are all the gods of this world?

I don’t know. But I’m going to find out. Perhaps the Sustainer slew them.

That would have sent a shiver down Ei’s very soul if she’d allowed it. She kept her expression neutral. I would be interested to learn of this. My plans…

It might work. It might not. You thought yourself truly alone, didn’t you?

Yes. For a time. With you here, perhaps I should change my course.

Maybe. Keep at it. It would be good to have another generation to follow after us, should something happen. I will let you know what I learn.

Very well. Will you at last take up your proper mantle and lead these lost mortals?

Me? Oh, I don’t think so. They were doing well enough for themselves before I showed up. Just a few cockroaches that need exterminating.

Interesting, though Ei didn’t inquire what these roaches were. It would have been the height of rudeness to intrude upon another’s domain, and odd as Barbatos was, Mondstadt had been a prosperous land.

I propose an alliance then. Should a Cataclysm happen upon this world…

I won’t sit this one out. Not again. I’ll be there, on that dread day. And pray that it never comes.

Who would answer the prayer of a god?

A good question! I’ll let you know if I ever figure out an answer.

Ei moved away from Barbatos again, taking a sip of her drink. She pondered joining the mortals but…no. For now, she would sit with the last reminder of Teyvat, with the being who was her only remaining peer. Who understood what it was to witness true Eternity, and to face the Erosion of the ages.

“Say, there’s been something I’ve been meaning to ask you, something I’ve wanted to do for a long time,” Barbatos said, batting his eyes at Ei.

She froze. How to respond? On reflex, she began, “Barbatos. I am a god. Gods do not take lovers. Nor do we procreate as-”

The hysterical laughter from Barbatos brought Ei up short, as he pounded the table, tears streaming down his face as he laughed uproariously.

“That!? Seriously!? That’s almost word for word the speech your sister gave me two thousand years ago at the end of the War! I wasn’t even hitting on her then! The two of you…”

Coloring faintly at that, Ei buried her face in the cup. “I am not good with such things…”

“Oh man, I needed that laugh,” Barbatos chuckled. He shook his head, wiping away the tears. “No, I mean, do you have your Casket of Tomes?”

“You mean…Genius Invocation TCG?” Ei asked, curious. “Yes, Yae gave me one for my birthday some years back, though I simply put it into storage. I should have it…yes.”

Reaching between her breasts, Ei rummaged around a bit before finding the box within the pocket dimension she kept there and drew it out.

“Talk about Victoria’s Secret Compartment,” Barbatos laughed, shaking his head in bemusement.

“Who is Victoria?” Ei asked, frowning.

“Never change, Beezlebul! Never change! Now, do you know how to play?” Barbatos asked, opening his casket up.

“I have reviewed the rules. This was one of the few things I had of home,” Ei said quietly, running her hands over the carved wood. She popped it open, carefully removing her cards, and laying them out. She felt a pang as she placed Yae’s card down, and gently caressed the laminated paper. She should have spent more time with her old familiar before…well. No use dwelling on it.

“I miss them too,” Barbatos said, looking down at his own cards. A lady knight stood with her sword held at the ready as the winds blew about her. He laid out his next card, a young man with golden hair in a long braid, grinning as he raised an old iron blade. “Aether too. I didn’t get to know the Traveler and Paimon well before, well…I came here. How’d you arrive, by the way?”

“The Traveler defeated me in battle, and the next thing I knew, I was sent here,” Ei explained, pointing to the next card she laid down, that of a young girl with flowers in her hair, and a crackling blade in hand. She’d not remembered having that card until she came here, but it was an interesting keepsake.

“Hold on, that’s Lumine! She’s not the Traveler, she’s…”  Barbatos trailed off, his brow furrowed. “You say it was her? She’s the Princess of the Abyss, so…”

“What? No, that is a male, it was his twin sister who fought me,” Ei said, her own forehead wrinkling in thought.

“Really…huh,” Venti scratched his chin. “You know, there’s another Earth, Earth Aleph, and they call this one Earth Bet…”

“You think…you are from Teyvat Bet, and I from Aleph?” Ei asked, her brows shooting up in surprise.

“Though I would have put it the other way around, I guess. Let’s get in a game, and compare notes!” Barbatos laughed, scooping up his dice. “No cheating, mind!”

That offended Ei, and she gave Barbatos a flat look. “Cheating defeats the purpose of play, and is the antithesis of Eternity.”

“Oh. Well, what I really meant was, ‘cheat all you want but don’t get caught.’”

“Barbatos…”

“Fine, fine. Takes half the fun out of cards if you can’t cheat!” Grinning, he rolled his dice, and Ei did the same, drawing her hand. It would be good to relax.

It was only for a fleeting moment, but was not Eternity composed of an infinite number of such moments?

She tried not to show it, but Cookie’s life had been hell. Not the same kind of hell as Itul, poor bastard, or the unlucky souls who’d had their lives ruined or ended when Cologne was destroyed, but her family had been overbearing and domineering. Her father and mother were both lawyers in one of the top law firms in Germany, and of course, their precious baby angel had been going to law school to get a degree. Not just any law school, but Oxford for her undergraduate before going to Ludwig-Maximilians University of Munich.

Of course, it had been in Munich that she’d met Itul, and, well…her life had gone a little off the rails after that. Then she opened the game store, got her vision, and then…she retired after the incident. She tried not to dwell on it.

Right now though, she was feeling pretty good about herself. She was sitting at a table with freaking Mushu and his bride-to-be and chatting back and forth using a magical dragon as a translator. That was pretty kick ass. Her parents would be having a conniption that Cookie was getting this kind of social networking opportunity and was doing fuck all with it. Well, screw them.

“-and if it is a daughter, she will be as beautiful as Keiga and as powerful as Lady Raiden,” Murasaki translated.

“What if it’s twins?” Cookie asked, and the little guy translated that back into weeb.

Mushu roared with laughter, while Keiga looked pained at the thought. Cookie could sympathize. She did NOT want rugrats. At least, not anytime soon.

Being about four beers in, Cookie excused herself and went to the little girls' room, before grabbing another house beer from the owner. He was a nice if somewhat overwhelmed guy, and Cookie resolved to hit this place up more often. It wasn’t too far from where she lived, just a bit out of the way so she’d never found it.

As she made her way back to the tables, she saw Raiden and Venti had out a card game and were playing while chatting in a language she didn’t understand. Intrigued, she made her way over, taking a look. There were dice involved, as well as what looked like character cards, and a deck of support cards.

“That looks pretty cool, mind if I sit and watch?” Cookie asked, feeling a lot less self-conscious than she would have if she were sober.

“Ah, another aficionado?” Venti asked, looking up and smiling. “Please, join us! Sorry about the fire alarm, I sort of forgot.”

“You owe me one,” Cookie said, then sat down with a grunt. Then she realized who she was sitting next to and flushed. “I’m sorry! I, ah, I’m honored to meet you, Your Majesty!”

“This is an informal setting. You may simply refer to me as Raiden,” the coolest and most awesome person on the entire planet said. Holy shit. Cookie had met a few capes before, including Vornheim back when she’d been looking to join the Meisters, but no one as awesome as THE Raiden Shogun.

“Uh, yeah, thanks,” Cookie muttered and tried not to gawk. However, she was soon enthralled by the game, which Venti explained to her in between his conversation with Raiden, which was still in that odd language. It sounded like German, but it wasn’t. Dutch maybe? No, she’d recognize that.

“What language are you guys speaking, if you don’t mind me asking?” she finally said.

“Teyvan, the trade language of our home continent,” Venti supplied.

“I’ve…never heard of that. Is it…African?”

Raiden shook her head. “We are not from this world.”

Right…that…actually made sense? “You mean…you’re both really…” She couldn’t make herself say it. Her parents were Lutheran, or at least nominally so, but as soon as she turned 16, she’d quit going to church.

“If it makes you feel better, you can consider us angels instead of gods,” Venti said with a wink. “But yes.”

“O-oh. Should…should I worship you?” Cookie asked, sweat breaking out on her forehead, and shooting a glance at Raiden.

“Barbatos is the god of Germany. Not I,” Raiden said absently. “So, my super conduct reaction should slay both Jean and Diluc, should it not?”

“Oh, ya got me!” Venti said, putting damage markers on his two cards that indicated they were knocked out. “My turn! I roll and…ah ha! Four anemo dice! Thank you very much! I’ll just reroll these, and…perfect! I play the Skyward Harp on myself, then activate my Elemental burst! I swirl your Yae, knocking her out, and create a storm eye!”

“I see. And when your turn ends, you shall swirl my Shogun, resulting in her demise as well. The game goes once more to you,” Raiden said.

Cookie decided to distract herself from her crisis of faith by focusing on this game. “So, uh, Genius Invocation TCG…it looks pretty cool. Who has the rights?”

“No one, as far as I know. It’s too bad, I’d love to get in more games,” Venti said with a disappointed sigh.

“I have attempted to explain the game to Mushu, but he does not understand. I too wish it were more popular,” Raiden said as they both shuffled up their decks.

“Rrrrreeeeeeaaaallllyyyy,” Cookie said, and had to stop herself from rubbing her hands together like Scrooge McDuck. “Because you know…I happen to know a guy…why don’t you show me your cards? I might be able to do something about your lack of games…”

By the end of the night, Cookie hadn’t figured out if she was going to convert to…whatever you called worshiping a drunken musician. But there was one thing she did know:

She was gonna be rich.

Author’s note:

And you thought I couldn’t find a way to work in Genius Invocation TCG.

PHILO: All hail the fancy cardboard.

October Patreon Poll

While it is the month of Halloween, I'm all out of ideas for spooky stories, so just regular updates will have to do. As usual, this is for stories other than ones I'm going to be updating anyway so they have a chance to continue. There is also a poll on my discord, so make sure you join that and ping me to get the patreon roll if you want to double dip. 

https://discord.gg/mXgY5Dgy

It's Always Sunny in Brockton Bay Chapter 7

Thanks to my patreons for voting for this. It’s still technically September where I live? But anyway…

The Gang Comes Over to Play

Laying on my back with my eyes closed, I tried to pretend that I was drifting off on a cloud, with no worries or problems. That would have been easier if stupid Charlotte wasn’t sitting in a rocking chair in the corner of my vision and knitting something with a pair of half-moon spectacles on. Stupid powers.

I sensed more than felt someone entered the room, though I wasn’t spying through any bugs at the moment. Glory Girl seems to have that effect wherever she goes. Then again, unlike me, she’s the kind of girl that everyone always notices when she enters a room, even if she didn’t have the Come Hither aura going.

A chair scraped against the floor next to the table I was lying on and I did my best to ignore it. I didn’t normally feel like talking to people at the best of times, and this was far from it.

“I hear somebody got in trouuuuuubblllleee,” Victoria said in teasing tones, and I opened up one eye to glare at her.

“Why do you care?” I demanded, putting my arm over my forehead and keeping my eyes squeezed shut. “Why are you even here? You’re not even in the Wards.”

“About that. So, it turns out, my mom is basically suuuuuper pissed at me because Tina decided to join the Wards. Apparently, I’m an enabler. So I’m hiding out here on the pretense that I’m visiting my sister. It’s not like I’ve never been here before.”

That got my attention, and I put my glasses back on and sat up. Glory Girl was floating in the air with her legs crossed on a level with me, which was interesting and slightly off putting. I wasn’t quite used to being around people with the ability to screw with the laws of physics yet I supposed.

“Why didn’t Tina join New Wave instead of joining the Wards?” I asked. I hadn’t really considered it before, but it was an odd move. New Wave wasn’t on bad terms with the Protectorate, at least not publicly, but they were a sort of rival team to the regular government-sponsored heroes.

Victoria was quiet for a moment, studying my face. Finally, she shrugged. “Teenage rebellion, I guess. And I sort of encouraged it. I mean, how would it look to have two Alexandria types on the same team? Twins even? Plus, she’s taller than me.”

“You can both fly. How does that matter?” I blurted before I could stop myself. My self-control really had started slipping once I spent too much time around Kazuma.

“Eh, you’ll have to take my word for it that it does.” Glory Girl winked at me. “However, it sounds like someone decided to go the New Wave route, even after joining the Wards!”

I groaned and put my head back in my hands. “Do not remind me. This was supposed to be a fun escape from the hell that is my existence. Instead…”

“Instead you should totally just hang out with my sister and me and have fun, so why worry about it?” Victoria laughed.

I gave her a sour look. “I’m still wearing a mask and trying to salvage the situation.” Not in the least because not all of us look anywhere NEAR as good as Glory Girl. Was perfect skin and hair a part of her powers? My skin was always greasy and I always had zits and pimples somewhere, while my hair was usually a tangled mess until I tamed it each morning.

“Well, if you change your mind, there’s always your press conference in half an hour!” With that, Victoria lowered her legs and touched down on the floor. “But seriously, we should hang out sometime. You’re not the only one who finds Kyouya to be an unbearable asshole.”

I blinked in surprise. This coming from Miss Homecoming Queen? That was literal too: it had made the papers when Victoria Dallon had been made Arcadia’s Homecoming Queen as a freshman. “Seriously? But, I thought you were friends. You’re all chummy in the photoshoots…”

“That’s because I am a consummate professional,” Victoria said airily, then put her knuckles to the side of her head and twisted them, her expression going cross eyed as she stuck out her tongue. She laughed, then with a final wave turned and walked out.

That left me to consider my options. To be blunt, I wanted nothing to do with a cape team that had Sofia Hess and Kyouya Mitsurugi on it. Not even the Wards. Sophia had been one of the driving forces in making my life a living hell for months now, and Kyouya had been right there tut-tutting at me the entire time, making it worse if anything. I mean, Kazuma was scum, but you knew what you were getting with him, and while I couldn’t say he’d been good to me, he’d never tried to torment me. Not like that.

I was still thinking about that when the door opened. I looked up, expecting Armsmaster or Director Piggot to yell at me again, but then my heart slammed down into my stomach, and I was five years old getting caught with my mom’s makeup slathered all over my face again.

“Uh, hi, dad. I-”

Before I got any further, my dad stepped forward and wrapped me in a bear hug, so hard it drove the breath out of me. I stood there, frozen, not sure of what I should do, how to respond. Charlotte looked up from her knitting at last, and gave me a smile. What?

“It was them, wasn’t it?” my dad asked, his voice rough. “The entire time. It was them.”

Tears filled my eyes, and I slowly put my arms around my dad, squeezing my eyes shut. I couldn’t speak, my throat was so tight, and I hiccuped as I jerked a nod.

“Taylor, I’m so, so sorry. If I had known…I knew you and Emma had a falling out, but this? And the others…”

“They’re the fucking Wards, dad,” I hiccuped, unable to control my language as my entire body shook with sobs. “Sophia’s a ward, and so is Kyouya! They’re the same ones…the same ones who…how can they be heroes?!”

My dad pulled back to look me in the eyes, and reached into his pocket, producing a handkerchief and handing it to me. I blew my nose and dabbed at my eyes, then wiped my glasses with my shirt to try and defog them. “Emma. Is she…?”

“Not as far as I know, but…yeah. It was her, and Sophia,” I said. I left out Madison. I had dreamed at night of clobbering Emma as hard as she had done today. For that, she was granted clemency. “Kyouya didn’t participate directly, but…”

“And so when they tried to bully you today…” my dad closed his eyes and exhaled. “I can understand.”

“Wait, you can?” I asked, shocked.

He gave me a sheepish grin. “I wasn’t exactly the most popular kid in high school. I was never bullied like you’ve been, Taylor, so I didn’t want to bring it up. But even when it was just name calling and knocking my books out of my hands in the hall…I dreamed of fighting back. Even got suspended once.”

“You did!? Seriously!? Why did you never tell me about that?!” I asked, stunned.

He shrugged. “It’s not something I’m proud of. I used to have quite the temper. Sophomore year, I got sick of it, and broke someone’s nose. Nick Johnson. He laid off me after that, and for a while things were better, but…well. If I’d had super powers, I’d probably have done a lot more than break someone’s nose.”

“That’s…that’s kind of awesome,” I said, still feeling stunned. I knew my dad could get angry sometimes, he tended towards rather extreme emotional outbursts after bottling things up, like he did when mom died. “Thanks for telling me. I…I sort of wish you had earlier…maybe punching Emma would have solved things sooner…”

“Maybe. So. What do we do?” my dad asked, smiling down at me.

For most little girls, their dad is their superhero. He’s as strong as Alexandria, as big as Narwhal, and as awesome as Eidolon. He’s smart, and cool, and he’s always there to save the day. For a lot of us, maybe most of us, we sort of…grow out of that. We realize that our dads are human. That they’re not invincible, or super strong, and that they’re just an ordinary mortal. For me, that moment came when my mom died, and my dad just broke. I didn’t hate him, but, well…he wasn’t my hero anymore.

In that moment though…he was just as much a hero as when I had been little and he’d picked me up and let me ride on his shoulders. I gave him the biggest hug I could. I knew then that no matter what happened, no matter how I screwed up, even if I became a supervillain…he’d still be in my corner. Still be my dad. Still love me. And right then…that was what I needed more than anything.

“I…I think I have a plan. But I wanna talk about it with you first,” I admitted. “It won’t be easy, but…”

I laid out my thoughts, and my dad listened, nodding as I spoke. I had my dad in my corner. Now, I just had to worry about the real problem.

“Are those really your choices for costumes? They’re not appropriate for being a hero.”

I glared back at Piggot, who for some reason I couldn’t fathom looked a lot healthier than when I’d seen her for my chewing-out session earlier. She looked a lot less yellow for one thing, though her eyes were red. Had she been smoking? Surely she hadn’t been crying. I glanced over at Kazuma and Aqua, who were doing their best to look innocent. Which made Aqua look like an airhead and Kazuma like he was plotting something. So, you know, standard for them I suppose.

“Hey, what’s wrong with my costume?” Kazuma demanded, looking down at his tracksuit. He was wearing a green balaclava and track suit, which was standard for him, while I had on my carefully made costume of spider silk. I had offered to make something for him, but he’d said it sounded “uncomfortable.” I think he was just being lazy, but it suited me fine because getting enough black widows to weave my costume had been a pain, and I wasn’t wasting the effort on someone who wouldn’t appreciate it.

As for Aqua, she had on a blue tunic and miniskirt that was dangerously short. Of course, she could pull it off, with long, toned legs and flawless skin. Her “mask” was some sort of mardi gras mask made of plastic with a lot of feathers and glitter on it. It looked frankly ridiculous, but despite having known Aqua for less than a day I think it was rather suitable for her.

“You especially, Ms. Hebert. Skitter is an acceptable name, but your costume is too dark. It screams ‘Super Villain,’ not ‘respectable member of the Wards,’” Piggot said dismissively as she looked over at me.

That was when my dad stepped forward, holding out his hand. “Hi, I’m Daniel Hebert, Taylor’s father. We spoke over the phone last night.”

“Yes, nice to meet you, Mr. Hebert. Now, you three are already on probation and-”

“You know, I was just thinking, my daughter has been under a targeted harassment campaign at school since September. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?” my dad said, his tone jovial and conversational.

Kazuma perked up, seeming to see where this was going. Look, for all his flaws, he was still my best friend, and he does have some redeeming qualities. He’s a dog, but he’s a loyal one. “Actually, both Taylor and I have been targeted by bullies, Mr. Hebert.”

Piggot, however, seemed to write my dad off as a blue collar yokel and ignored him and Kazuma. “That’s unfortunate. We’ll talk to the school and-”

Unfortunately for her, my dad is the Union Rep for the Longshoreman’s Union and has been negotiating with powerful companies for more than decade. “In fact, I just learned that two of your Wards were the ones leading the charge in that harassment campaign, to the point that Taylor came home with serious bruises, and has suffered severe psychological distress. Kazuma as well. I’m wondering what safeguards you’ll have in place to ensure the physical and mental well-being of my daughter and her friend.”

Whatever Piggot had been expecting, I’m pretty sure that wasn’t it. She blinked a few times, then said, “I assure you, we will take whatever steps are necessary for the protection of the Wards under my command. Including ensuring that your daughter doesn’t expose other capes or attempt to kill them again.”

“The way I heard it was that Kazuma and Taylor saved Kyouya’s life after he attempted to attack them with his powers, along with Sophia Hess,” my dad countered. “In fact, more than heard it. I have video evidence here if you’d like to see it.”

“That data should be erased, as it contains compromising information. And, might I add, you should not have been informed of the civilian identities of other Wards,” Piggot said, glaring at me.

“So you would just sweep this under the rug, and blame Taylor, who has been the victim in all of this? Might I remind you that my daughter simply defended herself from an attack by a parahuman, after months of harassment, physical and otherwise, including times when she was unpowered, and your Wards very much were? If this is the sort of behavior typical of your program, I’m not certain I want my daughter involved,” my dad said, folding his arms over his chest.

“Your involvement is voluntary, but the PRT and the Wards are what will protect you and your daughter, Mr. Hebert. It’s a scary world out there, and your daughter has already made enemies. Lung might be imprisoned, but Bakuda, Oni Lee, and the ABB are still out there. Do you want to be thrown to the wolves with a potentially compromised identity?” Piggot demanded testily. “What other options do you have?”

“I’ll have to consult my lawyer,” my dad said with a perfectly straight face. Kazuma, however, began to grin like the Cheshire cat. Piggot should have paid better attention, but she was doing what most people did and ignoring Kazuma.  Her mistake.

“And who might that be?” Piggot growled, clearly losing patience.

“Me, Director Piggot. So good to see you again.”

Piggot froze solid as a tall blonde woman in her mid-thirties in a formal business blouse and skirt strode into the hallway.  A smile was on her lips, as her heels clicked on the floor, her hair in a professional-looking short side cut. She was Carol Dallon, one of the more well known lawyers in the city, though not just because she did legal work for several capes. No, it was because she was better known as Brandish, one of the major players in New Wave, and, well, Darkness and Glory Girl’s mother.

“Brandish,” Piggot said, a smile frozen on her face as she slowly turned. She looked the other woman up and down and grimaced. “Or I suppose you’re Mrs. Dallon right now.”

“Either capacity works,” Brandish said, coming over to stand by my dad and me. “I’m here as legal representation for Miss Taylor Hebert and her father. Though I am willing to extend my services to Miss Aqua Mizu and Mr. Kazuma Sato as well.”

“Why do we need a lawyer?” Aqua said, looking confused until Kazuma elbowed her.

“We’d be delighted to accept, right Aqua?” Kazuma said.

Behind Piggot, Darkness and Glory Girl peeked into the room. Darkness was blushing and looking flustered, but Glory Girl winked and gave me a thumbs up.

“I’d also like to talk to you about pressuring my daughter Tina into joining the Wards without her legal guardians present. Armsmaster went too far,” Brandish said seriously. “He should not have pressured minors in that fashion. I’m sure the Youth Guard would be very interested to hear their accounts of his behavior.”

The only response she got for several moments was Piggot’s left eye twitching slightly. “...your daughter seemed very interested in joining the Wards, and we’ve worked closely with Glory Girl before now…”

“A relationship I would like to continue to foster, especially with my team's newest members,” Brandish said, putting a hand on mine and Kazuma’s shoulders.

“That was not something we had discussed,” Piggot said, her expression suddenly dark. “New Wave doesn’t have the right to go poaching Parahumans.”

“Well, if you want to discuss that, I’d be happy to also bring up how Shadow Stalker and the Cursed Swordsman are currently on probation for their actions both in and out of costume, and the consequences for a young parahuman physically assaulting an unpowered civilian,” Brandish said sweetly.

Piggot’s jaw moved like she was chewing rocks, and her expression matched.

“Since Miss Hebert and Mr. Sato’s civilian identities are already compromised, I think folding them into New Wave while working in Partnership with the Wards is the best path forward,” Brandish continued. “The Wards can still benefit from their talents, while New Wave can help them and their families navigate the trials and tribulations of living life without a secret identity.”

“That’s a dangerous path. Is that really one you want to walk, especially since your own parents are most certainly not parahumans?” Piggot said, her eyes meeting mine and Kazuma’s.

“I just want to show my parents the same love and respect they’ve shown me,” Kazuma said innocently. By which I am pretty sure he meant they could go fuck themselves.

“I’ll do what’s best for my daughter. No matter what,” my dad said firmly, putting his hand on my other shoulder.

“And what about you, Miss Mizu?” Piggot said, her tone exasperated and her face looking nearly as run down as it had earlier.

Aqua’s forehead wrinkled, and I held my breath, praying she wouldn’t say anything too damaging. “Secret identities are too hard to keep track of. Plus, New Wave is super cool! We should totally join them!”

Bless you, Aqua, you big blue bimbo.

“If that’s how you want to play it…we’ll need to adjust our press release for the conference in…” Piggot checked her watch. “Ten minutes.”

“I’m sure that won’t be an issue for a professional of your caliber,” Brandish said with too honeyed words.

I hadn’t previously been much of a Brandish fan, but I think I was starting to warm up to her.

“Is this the place?”

I looked up from the phonebook and nodded. “This is the Pedo-NEETs residence.”

“Then pahk heah. It's time tah send a message,” Bakuda declared, slamming her visor down.

The minion nodded and put the car into park, while my awesome big sister put on her gas mask. The rest of us put on our eye patches and robes, and the rest of us piled out. This was a stupid, normal, boring neighborhood, where all the houses looked the same and all the lawns were cut in plain shapes. The streets were clean and the walls free of any interesting street art, and all the cars were new and left parked on driveways without even being vandalized. A painfully boring place.

In short, it was the sort of place that made me insanely jealous. Sure, the people who lived here had all the imagination of a bunch of hamsters stuck in their corporate wheels and their houses were about as interesting as elevator music, but our dingy little apartment near the Docks was smaller than most of these moron’s garages that were stuffed with useless junk.

“I'll show that bastahd tah steel my little sisteh's panties,” Bakuda growled, and me and the other Crimson Demons blushed. Well, not Komekko, but it was the principle of the thing. I wondered what sort of amazing device she’d use to blow up the hose? Would she stop it in time? Trap it in a black hole? Shrink it down and turn it into a tacky keychain? There was nothing my big sister couldn’t do with the wonder of Explosion Tinkering!

But then, Bakuda turned to me. “Alright Megumin. I tell yah what. Yah've been cooking up  somethin’  foah a while. Why don't yah do tha’ honors.”

I flushed and looked up at her. “M-me?”

She nodded. “It was your undehweah that masshole pilfehed. Time fowh yah tah get sweet revenge, and show tha might ah tha Crimson Demon Clan. Besides, I wanna see what one ah your bombs does, see what yah leahned from me.”

“W-well, my Explosions are not nearly as creative and glorious as yours, O Fearless Leader, a-and I am a mere novice on the path of Explosions compared to you,” I hedged.

“Don't sell yourself short,” Bakuda said with a magnanimous gesture. “Yah're my little sisteh and my apprentice. I know yah'll do me proud, and show that I am a force tah be feahed not just in Brockton Bay, but all ah New England.”

I swallowed, pulled my hat down lower, and nodded. “Of course. They will learn to fear the name of Megumin.”

I pulled out a very impressive looking device, one with lots of wires and a timer on it about the size of a stereo that I’d carefully crafted, with lots of spikes and red paint on it. I ran forward and then around the back of the house, placing it under the back porch. Then I scurried back around front. “Right! Now, you shall witness the might of Explosion Tinkering!”

Bakuda shook her head. “Not yet. Nobody's home, it's tha middle ah tha aftehnoon. Set tha timeh fowh tonight, when they're eating dinneh. I want that bastahd tah fry, and his little pooch too.”

“But I like puppies!” Komekko protested. “We can’t hurt a puppy!”

“I-I don’t know if I want to kill anyone, just scare them,” Yunyun said, looking nervous, though she always looked nervous. “I don’t like Kazu-trash, but, um…I don’t think I want to kill him. Er, anymore…”

“It is a fitting end for a vile villain,” Arue declared, though she didn’t sound as certain as she usually did.

“Exactly,” Bakuda said, turning around. “Now come ohn girls. We'll stop and get some Dunkin' ohn tha way back tah tha hideout. I needs some sugah and caffeine so i can get real creative.”

We headed back to the car as sweat began to pour down my spine and off my brow. This was a disaster. The bomb HAD to go off now. Otherwise…otherwise my sister…

I walked towards the car, then looked back one more time. Hesitating, I swallowed. Under my breath, I whispered, “Chomusuke, what’s the range on my ability?”

“You’re range is theomeowtically unlimnyaatied,” my inner demon said in my ear. “But it’s line of sight only, nyaa~”

I jerked a nod, then got back into the car. Instead of buckling up, I turned around and looked out the rear view mirror, keeping my eyes on the house. As we began to drive away, I started to mutter under my breath.

The tower of rebellion creeps upon man's world...

“Megan, you’re supposed to buckle up, remember?” Komekko urged.

The unspoken faith displayed before me…

“Komekko! Apologize!” Bakuda barked, but I ignored the use of my slave name and continued.

The time has come!

“Oh, sorry. I mean, Megumin, put your seatbelt on!”

Now, awaken from your slumber, and by my madness, be wrought!

“We are supervillains,” Arue scoffed. “Supervillains don’t have to wear seatbelts.”

Strike forth,

I closed my eyes, and betrayed my sister.

EXPLOSION!

The world disappeared in a blinding flash of light, and the car buckled. The next thing I knew, I was lying on the grass of a much more interesting lawn, mostly because this one was on fire. My head felt like I’d been slapped by Alexandria, and when I touched where it hurt most, my fingers came back sticky with blood.

Bakuda appeared in my vision, her face red with anger as she yelled at me, but I couldn’t hear anything. A moment later, Yunyun and Komekko appeared, looking distraught, and shook me. I was unable to move, completely drained of energy, and in horrible pain.

“I guess supervillains should wear seatbelts,” I muttered, and fell into blessed unconsciousness.

I just hoped that my deepest, darkest secret had not been revealed.

My last thought was of the glory of Explosion Magic, and the worry that my big sister would learn that her Tinkering was nothing before my awesome power.

The Second Archon War, Carmen Dei 11

There were times that Nakamura rather enjoyed his new position as a privileged lord. Yes, he might be trampling on decades of Democracy, but when people like Ishihara wouldn’t shut up about some damn fool thing or other, it was nice to pull the “I’m a noble and you’ll do as I say” card.

He chuckled to himself as he sat. There would be no new funding for jets or tanks. What was even the point? They had the ultimate defensive weapon already: A literal goddess who could cut Endbringers in half, and one of the strongest and most well-trained parahuman organizations in the world. What was even the point of having a traditional military when you had the Raiden Shogun?

It wasn’t even really his job, but with Lord Mushu out of the country running things had more or less defaulted to Nakamura, and Ishihara and some old hardliners had tried to sneak in some proposals to make the JSDF more of an offensive force. Since Raiden had shown exactly zero inclination to conquer anything aside from poverty, crime, and Shonen Jump, Nakamura was going to make sure the yen got spent on things more productive than pathetically out of date military equipment.

He was just getting out of his car in front of his mansion when his aide raced down the steps, a look of sheer panic on his face.

“Wait a moment, Sato,” Nakamura said to his driver, feeling a sense of dread that he might have to turn around and go right back to the office.

“Sir! Sir! It’s Her Excellency!” the aide babbled, shoving a phone at Nakamura.

His blood ran cold, and for a delirious moment, he wondered if Ishihara might have been right about needing those tanks and planes after all. “Nakamura. What’s the situation?”

“YOU FUCKING TELL ME!!” Mushu’s voice roared out of the speaker so loudly that Nakamura winced and pulled it away. “Get to a damn TV right the hell now!!”

Racing inside, Nakamura didn’t have to ask for the news to be put on, a TV announcer already stammering through the news in the background. He stopped on the threshold as his eyes boggled at the spectacle. The skies above Berlin had gone black as midnight, despite it being around noon there. Purple lightning flashed across the sky, and from the bird’s eye view that Nakamura presumed was from a helicopter, two streaks were racing across the rooftops of the city at superhuman speeds, one purple, the other green.

“-continues to pursue the unknown Vision Holder across Berlin. Reports indicate this vile fool directly insulted Her Excellency the Narukami Oshogo during her speech to the Bundestag. He has proven to be a cape, and in her divine wisdom, the Almighty Shogun has chosen to bring judgment upon-”

Nakamura put the phone back to his ear. “Is this a secured line?”

“I’m at the fucking embassy in Berlin, so it GODDAMN BETTER BE!” Mushu snarled.

“...right. So, why are you not aiding Her Excellency? What happened?” Nakamura asked, feeling a sense of dread.

“EVERYBODY OUT! YES, THAT MEANS YOU! OUT NOW!” Mushu bellowed.

Nakamura glanced at his aides, then stepped into his office and shut the door while he waited.

At last, Mushu spoke again. “That’s not Raiden.”

“Are…are you certain?” Nakamura asked, turning on the small TV and watching the drama unfold. “It certainly looks like her.”

“Well, it’s not. Get your ass to the Imperial Palace. Go to her quarters. Knock three times, and say, ‘I petition Raiden Ei on a matter of utmost importance.’ Then drag the divine NEET out of her quarters and tell her to DEAL WITH HER IDIOT KID!”

The line went dead, and Nakamura looked at the phone in bafflement. Was it Ami, then? But why…?

“She wouldn’t,” Nakamura muttered, already sprinting back to his waiting car. But oh. She would.

“The Imperial Residence, and get me a police escort! Clear the path!” Nakamura ordered, and his driver peeled out of the driveway like he was drag racing in the mountains.

“Costa-Brown speaking,” Alexandria yawned into the receiver as Wyatt sat up on the bed, groaning and rubbing sleep from his eyes.

There was the sound of panicked breathing on the other side, then, “You know what, never mind, are you decent? Put on some pants!”

“Contessa?” Alexandria said, blinking. She glanced over at Wyatt, who was just as nude as she was. “I think…we should get dressed.”

“Where’s the threat?” Wyatt demanded, rolling out of bed and pulling on his underwear.

“I don’t-”

Alexandria barely had time to pull on a shirt and a pair of panties before a portal opened up in their bathroom and a rumpled-looking Contessa, hat askew, stumbled in, red-faced and breathing hard. Immediately, Alexandria shot into maximum alertness.

“You said I could call anytime and you were always available but I know when people say that they don’t really mean it and I know you guys are sleeping together so you shouldn’t be embarrassed even if Wyatt does have a nice ass but that’s not important right now because I’m having a panic attack because right now Raiden’s fighting someone only I don’t mean the real Raiden I mean the robot you know but anyway they’re in Berlin and she’s fighting him and I can’t figure out who it is except that they’re named Venti and I didn’t see this coming even though I’ve been asking what Raiden will do today and I mean both the robot and the real one and-”

“Contessa!” Alexandria barked, going over and grabbing the panicked Tinker by the shoulders. “What is going on?”

In response, Contessa reached into her pocket and held up a black ball.

“Reply Hazy, Ask Again.”

“I thought you threw that thing away?” Alexandria blurted, then shook her head, trying to clear the sleep from it as Wyatt continued to try to put on his costume.

“You don’t need the costume, Wyatt, sorry! Just, uh-where’s your TV?” Contessa said, but she was already pulling the remote from the nightstand drawer and turning on the one they had in the bedroom.

She flipped through channels until she came to the late-night news, where Alexandria and Wyatt could only watch in astonishment as the Raiden Shogun chased a green blur through the dark skies of Berlin, lightning flashing overhead, and flicking out to attempt to strike whatever Raiden was after, only for it to dodge at the last moment.

“So, uh, that’s a thing,” Wyatt said, frozen with his pants on, and one boot half on, the other on the floor still.

“How long have they been doing that, exactly?” Alexandria asked, shucking off the shirt and pulling her costume out to hastily change into it.

“One hour forty eight minutes and twenty-three seconds! No, twenty five. Now twenty seven. Dammit! It’s-”

“We get the picture,” Wyatt said, resuming the scramble to put on his clothes. “You said this guy is named Venti?”

“Yes! And I don’t know why they’re doing it!” Contessa said, grabbing the brim of her hat and pulling it down over her ears as she paced about in a tizzy. “I can’t get any answers at all! What if they destroy the city?! What if they piss off You-Know-Who?!”

“What does Voldemort have to do with this?” Alexandria asked, her tights only halfway on.

“No, not THAT You-Know-Who! The other one!” Contessa said, taking out another Magic Eight Ball. Then two more. Then three. Then more. And she started juggling them.

“How many of those do you even have?” Wyatt asked, coming over to help Alexandria get her armor on and sounding impressed. Contessa had nine balls going at once. “I thought eight was the world record.”

“Not counting parahumans it is but I can do ten,” Contessa said absently. “Sorry, I find it soothing, you know? At least my power can tell me how to perfectly juggle even if it can’t tell me why Raiden is going ballistic. Except for the part about the limerick.”

“The what?” Wyatt and Alexandria said in unison.

Without pausing in her juggling, Contessa recited,

“O there was once a woman from Inazuma

Who’s mother had quite a bad humah

She had thunderous thighs

But she had to realize,

That reports of my death were a rumah.”

Both Alexandria and Hero had to pause to digest that little tidbit. At last, Alexandria snorted a laugh. “That’s completely awful.”

“Honestly, fair. If someone had told me that horrible bit of poetry, I’d probably decide that murder was the best solution too,” Wyatt said with a chuckle, slapping Alexandria’s back to let her know her armor was in place. And slapping her ass because he was a horny bastard. Not that she minded that part.

“Really?” The Magic Eight Balls thudded to the floor and onto the bed as Contessa just stopped juggling. “I didn’t think it was that bad.”

“It sounds like something a drunk came up with,” Alexandria said with a shake of her head. “Maybe the robot just really hates poetry.”

“I…I don’t think so? Maybe? Is this how the world ends!? A robot uprising over a limerick?!” Contessa gasped, clutching her now rather mangled hat again as her eyes went wide.

“Hey, hey, relax, it’s fine,” Wyatt said, going over and resting a hand on Contessa’s shoulder.

She snapped out of her trance and nodded. “Right, right. I just…what do we DO!? I was in Bangladesh, I wasn’t even close to ready for this!”

“I don’t think any of us were,” Alexandria said, giving a forlorn look to her bed. What time was it? She looked at the clock. 2:48 am. Well, she’d woken up earlier in times of crisis. “Let’s just head to HQ and see if we can figure this out. Doormaker? Los Angeles PHQ, please.”

The bathroom went from looking like the afternoon in Dhaka to Alexandria’s office, and she stepped through, ready to figure out just what the hell was going on.

Arms folded over her chest, Capri glared across the table at Sara, who scowled right back at her. Beside her, Naomi rubbed Capri’s back, but she wasn’t backing down.

“<Now>,” Itul said brightly in English, holding up a goddamn magic wand. “<This is the sharing circle! When in the circle, only the person with the Magic Rod of Speaking may talk! See? I have the wand, so I can speak right now! When I pass the wand to->”

“<I not a fucking child,>” Capri spat, turning her glare on Itul. She hated to admit it, but she wasn’t that fluent in English, and most of what she knew was highly profane.

Sara held out her hand, and Itul beamed at her as he handed her the Talking Stick. “<See? She understands! Here, now speak!>”

“<Are you servants of the Anemo Archon?>” Sara demanded.

“<More like friends,>” Naomi said, then hastily covered her mouth. “Oh, sorry!”

Itul gave her a magnanimous gesture, then passed the Magic Rod of Speaking from Sara to Naomi, who repeated her statement.

Capri took the rod from Naomi and pointed it threateningly at Sara. “<Why was you trying to kill Venti?>”

“<Her Excellency, The Divine->”

“<Ah-ah! You need the talking stick,>” Itul corrected.

Rolling her eyes, Sara leaned forward and grabbed the other end of the stick that Capri was pointing at her. “<Her Excellency, the Divine-”

“Are they allowed to do that?” Naomi whispered, leaning close to Itul.

“Uh, honestly I dunno, this is just something Cookie does during our DnD Sessions and I figured it would work,” the big cape said with a shrug. Dropping his voice to what he probably thought was a whisper, Itul confessed loudly, “I didn’t think it’d actually work.”

“Well, if you hadn’t literally sat on both of them they probably would have torn the entire center apart,” Naomi agreed, thankful that Capri, and apparently, Sara, were too focused on fighting to hear that.

“<You is telling me why you is hunting Venti!>” Capri snapped after Sara had finished the overly long list of honorifics and explained why she’d come to Germany.

“<Yeah babe, why are you after Venti? I thought you came here for the con?>” Itul asked. How did the himbo have the best English out of all four of them? It was frustrating, but it was the only common language they had, as Sara’s German wasn’t very good, if it existed at all.

<”Hold on, are you two actually dating?>” Naomi asked, her eyes widening in astonishment.

Sara blushed and muttered. “<You’re not holding the stick.>”

That didn’t sound like a denial to Naomi, which was probably the most shocking revelation of the day.

“<That is not being important! Because right now, they two is out there fighting all over Berlin, and if they DO get serious, they’ll blow up the entire city like that!>” Capri said, snapping her fingers. She had a very healthy respect for what Venti could do, and anyone who didn’t take The Endslayer seriously was an idiot.

“<I was ordered to seek out the Anemo Archon, and that he may be hostile. I live to serve Lady Raiden, and have followed my orders,>” Sara declared, meeting Capri glare for glare.

“<Were your orders including making a war with NATO? Because if people are deciding Raiden and Venti destroying Berlin is an act of war, that is what will being happen!>” Capri growled.

Sara hesitated. “<I do not think…surely not war…and Venti could no possibly stand against…not Her Excellency!>”

“<I’ve seen Venti decide to stop playing around,>” Naomi said quietly, looking sick. “<He’s an angel, an Archon. If he decides to stand and fight…the entire city won’t survive.>”

“<We is must being stop them,>” Capri agreed, meeting Sara’s concerned eyes. “<You also?>”

“<I…I am loyal to Raiden. But…perhaps we should urge caution,>” Sara admitted. “<We should speak with Ami…>”

“<Where is she being?>” Capri asked, looking around.

“<Good question,>” Cookie agreed, striding in with several capes Capri recognized. She stood up, and her gaze darkened. One of them was a middle-aged man with an eye patch, a winged helmet, and golden-scale armor as a costume. All Father. The other she was less hostile towards but still didn’t like. The other was a bit younger, dressed in a bowler hat, with a gold-tipped cane in his hands, wearing a long-tailed three-piece suit out of the 19th century: Vornheim, leader of the Meisters.

“I wasn’t told there would be untermensch here,” All Father said, his tone registering disgust as he looked at Capri with her obviously Romani features.

“I wasn’t told there would be fucking Nazi trash here myself,” Capri snarled, pulling her sword out of her vision as Naomi did the same.

“Cookie, seriously?! I thought you-” Itul began, but Cookie cut him off. Sara looked confused, but she had her bow out, and had taken a step back from the table to give herself room.

“Manners, ladies and gentlemen,” Vornheim said, tapping his cane on the ground. “We have a crisis to address. I’ve been told you two have a connection to this Venti Luft, and that Ms. Tegan is a Japanese Cape?”

“<What is he saying?>” Sara asked Itul, frowning.

“<Ah! Where are my manners? Herr Vornheim of the Masters, at your service>” Sweeping a bow to Sara, Vornheim doffed his hat and smiled at her.

Capri’s mind raced over what he could do. Vornheim was known as the “Gentleman Cape,” a man who was considered one of the best combat Masters around. He could impose certain “rules” upon a living thing, though they had to be reasonable such as no running, or no talking. None of these “rules” could outright kill a person, so no commands preventing them from breathing or thinking, but he could seriously handicap his opponents. At the same time, he could put rules on himself or his allies that helped make them lighter on their feet, a little stronger, or react faster.

“What do you want with Venti?” Capri demanded, not taking her eyes off of All Father. Of the two, he definitely had more firepower and was a goddamn Nazi to boot. She had thought that Vornheim wasn’t a scumbag, but if he was working with the Gesselscheft…

“<Apologies, but it seems not all of us have German. You understand English? Yes? Very good. Well, there is a minor issue. I attempted to intervene in the little pursuit across the city, but I’m afraid my powers spectacularly failed to work on either this Venti, or Raiden. Well, actually, I only attempted to use my abilities on Venti, at which point I passed out from a blinding headache>.”

“<That’s what you get for trying your powers on a god,>” Capri said with a snort, and to both her and Sara’s surprise, the other woman nodded vehemently, until she caught herself and shook her head.

“<A god? Don’t be preposterous,>” All Father said, a derisive sneer on his lips. <”What would a nig->” He cut off abruptly, choking and going purple as he sputtered incoherently.

“<New rule,>” Vornheim said, turning a look of disgust on All Father. “<If you cannot be polite, do not speak. I invited you along because your faction represents considerable firepower, and I think this is a threat on the level of the Endbringers, hence the rules of the Truce apply. But just because I will work with men like you in time of crisis does not mean I will tolerate incivility.>”

Tightening her grip on her sword, Capri jerked a nod of thanks at Vornheim, who turned back to her.

“<Now. Explain just what you mean by ‘god,’ and do so quickly, please. If something has The Endslayer bothered, I hazard it’s an existential threat. Should we be evacuating?>”

“<Lady Raiden would only attack if the Anemo God were evil,>” Sara interrupted. “<She is Eternity, and Venti must be a threat.>”

“<Only if you’re a Nazi fu->” Capri found herself choking on her words, unable to speak, which earned her a malicious grin from All Father.

“<Terribly sorry, but in the interest of fair play, I’m afraid the rules apply to everyone equally,>” Vornheim said in apologetic tones. “<Please, keep it civil.>”

“<Venti wouldn’t attack, and he isn’t fighting Raiden. He claims to know her, from…I guess heaven?> Naomi said, her blade held at high guard and pointing right for All Father and the Gesseschaft capes who were arrayed behind him. Capri thought she recognized a couple of them from their raid. “<I’m not sure what they’re doing, but they’re not really fighting. If they were…you saw what happened a few nights ago? I think they’re capable of leveling all of the city. The only thing stopping Venti from making a second Desolation is the fact that he wants to help the German people, not harm them.>”

“<Lies! He destroyed our facility and killed a woman of good Aryan stock!>” All Father shouted, and his allies nodded their agreement.

“<I think the fact that you’re still breathing, All Father, is a good sign that perhaps this supposed god is a little more benevolent than the one whose name you claimed,>” Vornheim said dryly. “<Still. We need to bring a stop to this. Would Venti listen to you? Would Raiden listen to you, Miss Tegan?>”

“<I…can try?>” Sara admitted. “<You’d have better success from Lord Mushu or the Inazuma no Himi.>”

“<She means Princess Ami,>” Cookie supplied.

“<Ah, I see. We’re trying on that end, but the Japanese embassy is stalling, and frankly while Germany does have some strong capes, we don’t have an Alexandria or Eidolon, and this Gentleman here is the closest I have to a Legend,>” Vornheim said, making a face to show what he thought of that.

“<I am nothing like that deviant homosexual->” More choking sounds from All Father, and Vornheim rounded on him.

“<Sir. I say this with all due respect, but shut. Your. Mouth. I do not ally with you because I share your deplorable political beliefs. I do it because you are a better alternative to this city becoming a second Cologne!>”

Glaring at the Gentleman Cape, All Father opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He turned on his heel and stalked out, and the Gesellschaft capes went with him.

Vornheim glared after them, and muttered, “Good riddance to bad rubbish.”

Capri jerked a nod. “Didn’t think you were low enough to work with Nazis.”

“Ordinarily, no. But desperate times…” Vornheim passed a hand over his face, looking utterly exhausted. “My abilities may as well be spitting in the wind for all the good they’d do against Raiden and this Venti. Well. We need a plan.” He switched back to English. “<I take it you’re all Parahumans here, capes?>”

<”I’m retired, but yes,>” Cookie said, shifting from foot to foot.

“<No. We are Vision Holders, and I am a Sentai. Not one of your tainted Parahumans,>” Sara said firmly. “<I am a follower of the God of Eternity. If you oppose the Almighty Narukami Oshogo, I am your enemy.>”

“<You really think they’re gods, don’t you?>” Vornheim asked, looking slightly taken aback.

“<An Angel of the Lord. For I have no other gods but the Lord,>” Naomi said, but then added, “<But yes.>”

“<That…complicates things…>” Vornheim drew up a chair, sitting and leaning forward on his cane. “<But, how can we safeguard Berlin?>”

Capri and Sara spoke at the same time: “<Pray.>”

Panting for breath, Nakamura jogged through the Imperial Palace until he came to Raiden’s private quarters, which were located on the upper level, and in an out of the way corner. He opened the door, trying to catch his breath and looking around. Nothing. Just Raiden’s sitting room, no sign of life.

“My Lady? Are you here?” Nakamura called, his voice echoing slightly, as it did when one shouted into a room where no one had been in some time. Remembering what Mushu had told him, he shut the door. Composing himself, he knocked three times, cleared his throat and said, “I petition Raiden Ei on a matter of utmost importance.”

In response, there was a crackle of energy, and the Electro sigil on the door glowed. A moment later, the door swung open.

“Enter, Lord Nakamura,” Raiden’s booming voice declared, as swirling mists began to leak from the darkness beyond.

Swallowing, Nakamura stepped forward, looking about him. Above him stood an archway, shrouded in fog, and above him, lighting flickered silently in a stormy sky. In the fog, innumerable blades shone dully, stuck point first into the stone of the ground. A faint glow emanated from the ground, the purple light giving the swords an ominous cast.

At the center of the plane stood a great forge, from which great arcs of purple lightning pulsed, and upon which bolts of Lightning constantly worked. A great anvil stood to the side, arcane runes glowing upon its surface. Upon the anvil lay a great glowing blade, and the aura of the being working the forge caused Nakamura to drop to his knees in awe.

The Raiden Shogun, the Narukami Oshogo, Elecro Archon, God of Eternity, was plying the ancient Raiden Gokuden, and she was not veiling her form. Great arms formed of pure electro power hovered at her side, and two hands bore her up so that she hovered in the air. She was dressed in workman's clothing that was scorched and stained, but upon her, it looked finer than any imperial raiment, so awesome was her countenance. When her gaze fell upon Nakamura, the breath was driven from his body, and he fell upon his face in obeisance.

“For what purpose have you disturbed my work?” Raiden demanded, her voice echoing with thunder and power. Nakamura did not so much hear her words, as perceive their intent as it was etched upon his very soul.

He had thought he would find his Divine NEET reading manga and eating takeout. Instead, he found a god unveiled, her Power fully manifested, her Glory on display, her Aspect fully embodied. He knew what he saw.

The Raiden Shogun was preparing for a War. Perhaps the last War. The swords around him were a Divine Armory, weapons capable of slaying Endbringers, gods, and demons. Beside them, a tank was a toy, and a jet fighter, a buzzing fly. There was Power here, Power beyond mortal ken. Nakamura knew fear, and he could not speak for the awe and dread that filled his soul.

“Ah. My apologies. You see now why I must seal myself off here.”

It was as though pressure all over Nakamura faded, though it had not been against his skin, but his very being. He was able to breathe freely, and looked up from his kowtow, though he did not rise. Raiden was slowly descending down from the anvil, walking upon steps she made in the air, her manifested arms withdrawn, her power veiled.

“Your Excellency, in Germany, your daughter-”

In a flash, Raiden was before him, lifting Nakamura up, horror on her face. “Ami, she is in danger?”

“I…I don’t know, but, in Berlin, she does battle with the Anemo Archon.”

Confusion flashed over Raiden’s face. “But why would Barbatos…he is capable of great Wrath, I felt it…but not against…”

“Did you not order the Shumatsubaan to hunt him down and slay him? Is he not a great threat?” Nakamura asked, confused. He’d had to coordinate with Kenichi on getting his agents in place across the globe, using various diplomatic covers and other means. “If Ami is impersonating you, then she-”

“Ah, no, that is Tsukuyomi, of whom’s existence you did not know. Know this though. I did not order an attack on Barbatos. That is folly. Why would you think this? I told the Shuumatsubaan to seek out The God of Freedom that I might speak with him,” Raiden said, and thunder rumbled overhead as her expression darkened. “It seems someone moves against me. Nevertheless, I thank you. Depart in haste, Nakamura. You have served me well, but I must now go to see to my wayward creation.”

Scrambling to his feet, Nakamura bowed as he backed towards the door, feeling confused, elated, and reverent. No sooner did he walk back across the threshold, than the door slammed shut.

Slowly, hesitantly, he reached out with a trembling hand. Closing his eyes and muttering a prayer, he opened it. Once more, the empty sitting room stood there. He shut the door, then slid down to the floor to rest his back against it. What had he just seen?

Since arriving on Earth, which was an odd name for a world when you thought about it, Venti had done some thinking. The first question had been: Should he return to Mondstadt? Did they even need him anymore, truly? That had always been something he’d wrestled with. He didn’t like the idea of mortals relying on him. Not when he could so easily let them down, as he knew he had done so many times before.

He’d done some poking around, mostly by listening to the wind, and the answer he’d gotten so far was that while dimensional travel was possible, no one seemed to have heard of Teyvat. Fair enough, he supposed. He could keep looking, but until then, he had other pressing business to attend to.

Sighing, Venti turned around, floating in the air as he sped away on the winds away from the automaton that Beezlebul had made. He sometimes forgot that she’d been one of the preeminent generals and Warlords of the Archon War, and not just because she was one of the three people Venti would very much prefer not to actually fight, and never in a direct confrontation. He’d lose that, unless he got very, very lucky. No, she’d been so formidable because her forces were always the best led, the best equipped, and frankly her army had been capable of defeating several major contenders for the chair of Electro Archon all on their own. All thanks to her leadership, and ability with a forge, not the blade.

In fact, her craftsmanship was so impressive, Venti was forced to flip over and put some actual effort into dodging the automaton’s attacks.

“Hey, what’s your name?” Venti called.

The automaton replied by sending an arc of Electro that would actually have hurt pretty badly if Venti hadn’t moved out of the way.

“I could just keep calling you Thunder Thighs, you know.”

Two bolts of lightning from on high. Not very original. Venti yawned as he sent them harmlessly into lightning rods.

“What about Shogunator? How do you feel about that one?”

A quick teleport and a slash that could have cut Venti in half, if he hadn’t seen it coming a mile away. This automaton was skilled, fast, and powerful, but she had none of the true finesse the real Raiden Shogun did. Oh sure, she could have defeated any mortal blade master Venti could think of off the top of his head, but he was still an Archon. He did like to claim he was the weakest of the Seven, which was true from a certain point of view, but that was basically declaring he was the seventh strongest being on Teyvat, Celestia aside.

“Could you maybe call your maker? Because I’m pretty sure your mommy wouldn’t want you fighting an old friend like me!”

“You are a flea unworthy of my  mother’s attention!” Thunder Thighs snarled, and did another one of those teleport and attack things, from below this time. Venti gave her a wet willy as she went past and flew on.

After an indeterminate amount of time, Venti was actually starting to get a little angry. This impudent brat didn’t respond to anything, had no taste in music, having tried to kill Venti even harder when he started to sing a few harmless ditties about Thundering Thighs Saving Lives, and she was frankly boring Venti to tears. He was just about to stop messing around and disable her, then deliver her gift-wrapped to the Japanese Embassy and ask if her mom wanted to come out and play, when the air changed.

The automata sensed it too, and froze mid-attack.

“I think that’s for me,” Venti said, nodding to the pulse of energy that had filled her sword.

“Now you will face the true Judgment of Eternity, interloper. You face now the true Narukami Oshogo, my Mother the-”

“Heya, Beezy! New planet, who dis?” Venti said, floating up to the sword and grinning.

Barbados. I must offer you an apology. My daughter has been led astray and has attacked you in your own territory. For this, I must humble myself, and beg your pardon.

“M-mother?” Thunder Thighs gasped, her eyes going wide as she stared at her sword, within which Ei had manifested as a Thunder Spirit.

“Ah, it’s fine, it’s fine! I would have invited her over to the van for supper! Who’s the lucky man, by the way? Is it Mushu? I didn’t think you were the type!” Venti said, giving the flustered automaton a wink.

You are as impertinent as ever, I see. But no, we must talk. May I manifest in your realm fully?

“Of course, of course! I wanted to have a chat myself,” Venti agreed amicably.

“Mother, I must protest, this man is-”

The God of Freedom, and one of the Seven. You are most fortunate he did not slay you where you stood. Powerful you may be, but you are no god yet. Now, into the blade. We will talk later.

The automaton shot Venti a sour look, then went incorporeal and went into the sword. At the same time, Beezlebul emerged, taking on the form Venti was more familiar with, and taking the blade before it could fall. A mortal watching that blink wouldn’t have even noticed the swap.

They hovered there for a moment, looking at one another. At last, Venti spoke. “So, Earth. Interesting place.”

“Yes,” Beezlebul agreed. “How is…was…Teyvat? My absence…Inazuma?”

Venti shrugged. “To be honest, not sure. I’d just woken from a bit of a nap myself and wasn’t paying much attention. Had a bit of a Fatui problem and a rogue dragon to deal with.”

“Ah. A similar issue led to my arrival here. It seems Dantilion goes too far this time,” Beezelbul said icily.

“So…know a way back?” Venti asked, half hopefully. He couldn’t leave yet, he’d made himself and others certain promises, but…Mondstadt was still home.

“No,” Beezlebul said simply.

They floated for a moment until Venti coughed awkwardly. “I, uh, have never really known how to talk to you.”

That got a faint trace of a smile. “I have never known how to talk to anyone.”

“Hmm. Yeah.” Venti jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “Wanna get some drinks?”

“That is acceptable,” Beezlebul agreed, and they floated down to the ground together, then headed for the nearest beer garden.

Author’s Note:

Young woman, GO TO YOUR SWORD! Time out!

The Second Archon War, Carmen Dei 10

Adjusting her wig, Capri frowned at herself in the mirror. Her normally short hair had been deemed insufficient for this job, and she’d been forced to don a wig that had two massive ponytails with hair ornaments that could have doubled as dog collars of all things, with massive spikes sticking out that could have put out an eye if they hadn’t been sculpted out of foam. She also had a bongo drum strapped to her back, along with two braided red and black cords hanging down.

The rest of her ensemble was odd looking as well, with a black tunic done up diagonally across her breast with silver buckles over a pair of shorts that truly lived up to the name, enough that she was dead certain she’d be doing a plumber impression if she so much as bent even slightly. Yep. Definitely revealing. Oh well, she’d worn worse for shows before. The fishnet sock on her left leg was pretty odd though, along with the open-toed boot-like shoes that came up past her ankles.

“Is this seriously what I’m supposed to wear?” she sighed, turning around and frowning again. She glanced at the last piece of her outfit, a very odd-looking guitar with a diamond-shaped body and more spikes jutting out of it.

“It’s what we’re being paid for,” Naomi said from next to her, adjusting the large headdress that went with her outfit. It was a more elaborate form of the same horns she wore with her hero getup, with her long red hair falling down past her shoulders in two loose braids. Normally she kept her hair done up in a way that disguised how long it was, but Capri liked to see just how beautiful her partner’s hair was.

The rest of Naomi’s outfit could best be described as that of a belly dancer’s: blue top made of gauzy blue fabric that left her midriff exposed, but came down in long billowing sleeves that ended in tight golden cuffs around her wrists. Her blue skirt swirled around her as she walked, and would truly be a sight to behold of Naomi were to dance, with half a dozen long tassets that hung down to her knees and left her legs mostly exposed. On her feet were sandals with two inch heels and golden mesh that went up to her calves.

Both of them were supposed to be characters from a popular new anime called Genshin, though what that meant neither of them had much of a clue. Cookie had told them that they were both ‘perfect’ for their roles, and Venti had enthusiastically agreed.

“How do you even pronounce our names?” Capri said, still feeling slightly disgruntled about the whole thing. She was basically going to be a model for the day. “Ksinjan and Nillow?”

“Xinyan and Nilou,” Naomi corrected smoothly, giving Capri a wide smile. “It will be fun! We’ve dressed up for stage performances before, right?”

“Yeah, but we’re supposed to get nerds to buy betamax tapes and comic books instead of making music,” Capri said, giving her outrageous guitar a grimace. She picked it up and experimentally plucked the cords and tried to strum. It became painfully obvious it was just a prop, and not a real instrument at all when a dull, lifeless sound was emitted.

“Well, it seems there’s something wrong with your axe, as the kids say! Let me take a look at it!”

Venti strode in, wearing the same green tunic and white hose that he’d worn when Capri had first met him, and carrying the same harp. Cookie had tried to persuade Venti that he was supposed to dress up as an actual character, Venti the Bard not being one well known anywhere, but he’d insisted and won her over by claiming Venti was a character from Genius Invocation TCG, nevermind that no one on Earth Bet had heard of it before.

Capri would later find out that one very important person HAD heard of Genius Invocation TCG, and realize that this was the point where the timeline had clearly gone horribly wrong.

“Take it, it’s an over-designed hunk of junk,” Capri said, tossing Venti the alleged guitar.

Vent caught it, and after futzing about by pretending to tune the guitar with the spikes, strummed it. This time, instead of some pathetic noise, a bright cord rang out. Venti strummed a little, and the guitar sounded just like an electric instrument that had been unplugged.

“Wait, really?” Capri reached out and took the guitar back, then funneled a little Electro into it. When she played this time, the notes of Master of Puppets sang out, note perfect and full of energy. “Well, I’ll be damned. You wanna tell me how you did it?”

Venti spread his hands wide and wiggled his fingers, grinning mischievously. “Magic!”

“Right. That’s…that’s actually real now, right?” Capri asked uncertainly, holding her instrument up and inspecting it. It looked…more real. Less like a manufactured prop, and more like a practical tool for making music.

“Magic has always been real, if only we have the hearts and eyes to see it,” Venti declared, plucking a jaunty tune on his harp.

“HEY! TEN MINUTES TO SHOWTIME!” Cookie roared, causing Naomi to jump and Capri to frown at the volume. “LET’S GET A MOVE ON, PEOPLE! WE’VE GOT WEEBS TO FLEECE!”

Following the bellow of the beast, Capri stepped out onto the main floor of MEX, which was being held in a massive conference center in downtown Berlin. There were a number of booths set up, ranging from the giant centerpieces from official companies to smaller tables at the periphery for individual fan artists or local publications.

The booth that Capri and Naomi were working at was one of the larger ones, as the Genshin anime was produced by a government sponsored Japanese studio called Mihoyo, which had a number of other smaller productions such as the Science Fiction epic Star Rail, or the mecha show Honkai. Genshin was their fantasy offering, and seemed to be fairly popular. There were various other so-called booth bunnies dressed up as characters working as well. The job was simple: Hawk the various overpriced junk that ranged from pins to full figurines, and take pictures with fans to promote the various shows.

“Hey guys!” Itul said, waving excitedly at them as he walked by. When she saw him, Capri let out a groan.

“Itul, you’re not just supposed to wear your cape costume!” Capri said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “What about your secret identity?”

“Eh, those are for chumps anyway! Besides, I’m supposed to, like, officially escort her highness around! So, you know, I gotta look tough and provide security!” Itul said, puffing out his bare chest. He took out what looked like a switchblade and flicked it open, only to reveal a comb that he ran through his hair, touching the red horns that were stuck there. “The Red Oni will surely become one of Princess Ami’s steadfast allies!”

“It would be good to have the Knights of Favonius officially greet the delegation from the Shogunate,” Venti agreed. “Come on, Itul, let’s go pick up our VIPs!”

Capri didn’t have long to think about if that was a good idea or begin to form an objection, as the floodgates soon opened and hundreds, then thousands of excited attendees streamed in and soon overwhelmed the Mihoyo display.

It was a mild surprise to Capri to meet several excited con-goers who were actually dressed the same as she was, though typically with costumes that were not nearly as well made as hers. She was soon swamped with taking pictures, pushing the merch, and generally trying to maintain order.

After about an hour however, a panicked looking Cookie shoved her way through the crowd, Venti and Itul in tow. “She’s not here!”

“Who’s not here?” Capri asked as Cookie frantically signaled Naomi over.

Grabbing both other women, Cookie pulled them close and dropped her voice. “Princess Ami! Sara Tengan isn’t here either! This is a DISASTER!”

“Hey, I told you, she sent me a text message, something came up with-”

“NOT NOW, ITUL! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR CANADIAN GIRLFRIEND!” Cookie snarled, her eyes flashing purple. Something glowed on her chest, and Capri sensed the other woman was wearing her Vision.

“But she’s Japanese?” Itul said, clearly baffled as Capri fought to keep a straight face.

“So? How is this our problem?” Capri asked.

“I need someone to keep the crowd from going NUTS! Inazuma Hime Ami is THE hit anime of the decade, and me promising that I had her present is what drew the crowd! She’s supposed to show up on stage in fifteen minutes, and she’s NOT here!”

“Right…so…you need a band?” Capri asked, a slow grin spreading over her face. “It will cost you.”

“I don’t care WHAT your rates are! I’ll pay you an extra thousand! Just…do something! Itul says you’re amazing. If you can keep this crowd from going nuts, DO IT! I don’t care if you have to start flying around with your cape powers, just keep me from being crucified!” Cookie ordered, sticking her finger in Capri’s face.

Capri glanced at Venti, who gave her a thumbs up. “Yeah, we got this.”

“Great. Get up on the stage in Ballroom C, now! Move, move!” Cookie urged, shoving them away from the Mihoyo booth towards the largest ballroom to the side.

Taking the fake drum off her back, Capri handed it to Venti. “You can make this work, right?”

In response, he banged on it, and it emitted a perfect sound. The drum was passed to Naomi, who nodded and clutched it to her chest. “So, uh, what songs are we going to play? I’m not sure what songs this crowd would even like…”

“I have some ideas,” Venti said airly. “Just follow me along and let the winds flow through you.”

“Right,” Capri agreed, thinking of how perfectly they’d played at the Feisty Ferret. Normally she’d think going up on stage with a strange audience, instruments that were props, and with no rehearsal was basically suicide, but with Venti on their side…well, the odds didn’t seem so bad.

If the main hall had been crowded, the Ballroom was absolutely packed. Cookie had to lead them around to a rear entrance, because it was standing room only, and would have given any fire marshal that happened to peek inside a conniption because the ballroom was well beyond capacity.

Eager audience members, many of them dressed up as Ami, Raiden, Mushu, or other capes from the show, were chanting aloud. “PRIN-CESS A-MI! PRIN-CESS A-MI!”

“Ok, ok, we’re having some instruments brought over, shouldn’t be more than five minutes,” Cookie said, peaking nervously out. “We haven’t had time to do a sound check, but we’ll figure it out on the fly.”

“No need, turn the sound system off,” Venti said. “Capri has it.”

“She does?” Cookie spun, a question in her eyes. “You do?”

Casually, Capri took out her Vision and hung it from her waist. “I got this.”

“And the instruments? Those are just props, they don’t work,” Cookie said, sounding uncertain this time.

“We fixed them,” Venti said confidently. “Just announce us. We’ll be playing God Knows for our opening song.”

At that, Cookie looked immensely relieved. “The Season 1 OP! Perfect! They’ll eat that up!”

With that, Cookie slipped onto the stage, and the crowd roared in excitement.

“HELLO PEOPLE!” Cookie said, her voice amplified and booming, crackling with power. Capri felt the Electro, and wondered if anyone else realized Cookie was a cape just from that. “ARE YOU READY TO FEEL THE LIGHTNING?”

Wild cheers in response, and Capri felt slightly nervous. This was probably the biggest crowd she’d ever played too. How many people were in there? Five hundred? At least.

“Princess Ami is on her way, and to introduce her, I have the Tone Deaf Bards, playing God Knows from Season 1!”

Fewer cheers, and some boos, with cries of “WE WANT AMI!”

That wasn’t good.

“Without further ado, I give you, the TONE DEAF BARDS!”

Taking a deep breath, Capri stepped out onto the stage, looking out at the crowd. There were some sullen gazes looking back at her, but most of them looked hopeful. She hefted her guitar, and tapped into her Vision, then looked to Venti.

He smiled, and closed his eyes. A moment later, Naomi began a drum solo, a full set suddenly appearing in the air before her, drawing an excited cry from the crowd as the translucent green drums began to thunder. Soon after, Capri joined in, shredding away on her guitar. Words filled her mind, words she didn’t understand or know the meaning of, but words she knew how to sing perfectly.

“Kawaita kokoro de kakenukeru!”

As soon as the band started playing, the atmosphere shifted. The tense and anxious crowd began to whistle and cheer, jumping up and down in time to the music to the point that the stage was trembling slightly.

Sweat poured off of Capri as she played, both from the strain of the performance, the intense emotions of the crowd, and her own powers flaring as she powered the guitar. Venti’s harp had become a bass guitar at some point that she hadn’t noticed, and he kept the pace, a faint wind swirling around the ballroom.

Out of the corner of her eye, Capri caught a glance of Cookie, who was staring, slack jawed, apparently unable to believe what she was seeing and hearing. It wasn’t long however before she was jumping and cheering along with the crowd, Itul pumping his fist behind her.

The song came to a finish, and Capri held the final note, raising her pick high into the air as the crowd went wild. She grinned broadly, feeling the energy, the enthusiasm, the joy. This is what she’d wanted to create with her music oh so desperately for so many years, and had managed so infrequently playing at bars and other small venues.

Glancing behind her at Cookie, Capri saw the other woman make a “go on” gesture, and she turned back to the crowd.

“I hope you enjoyed that one, but we’re still waiting on the Princess. To make up for it, here’s a little number we wrote ourselves. We call it, ‘Knights of Favonius.’”

The crowd stirred, growing slightly restless. They clearly still wanted Princess Ami, and if Capri hesitated even a moment, they’d probably start that damn chant again. So, she didn’t give them that moment.

Striking a new cord, she began to play, with Naomi and Benti joining in. The crowd stilled, listening, uncertain. This wasn’t their beloved theme song, but the music was intriguing.

This time, it was Venti who started singing, moving forward to the center of the stage as Capri stepped into the background.

Can you feel the wind that’s blowing, far across the plains?

The name of the wind is freedom, the wind of Favonian Fame

Apparently, this song was a modified version of one that had been famous in Mondstadt, and Venti had adapted it for a German audience with modern instruments. It was a pretty rockin’ tune, and Capri and Naomi joined in during the chorus. By then, the crowd was amped up again, excitedly waving to the beat as the Tone Deaf Bards played.

After that, the audience was eating out of the Tone Deaf Bard’s hands, and they were able to play two more songs, Rock You Like a Hurricane, and another song Venti had composed. By the end of the set, the doors had been thrown open, and people were clustering around the ballroom doors to listen.

At the end of Land of Wine and Song, Capri saw Cookie motioning at her frantically, mouthing, “She’s here!”

Capri went back into the opening notes of God Knows, but instead of singing, stepped up to the microphone. “And now, ladies and gentlemen, the one you’ve all been waiting for, Lightning Princess Ami!”

Sensing a surge of Electro, Capri stepped to the side as a purple spark shot out from behind the stage, then transformed into two young girls.

“WAGA NA WA AMI! PRINZESSEN DES BLITZEN! RAIDEN NO MUSUME, AMENO ARUKUN NO SATSUGAI-SHA!”

There was a discordant twang, and Venti dropped his base to the stage with a clatter. “Sumimasen, Ami-san, mōichido itte itadakemasu ka? Could you repeat that?”

The other girl, who had been bellowing out her own “WAGA NA WA CLARA!” stopped, and both of them turned to glare at Venti. Ami chattered away in Japanese, with a little dragon flying around in front of Ami and planting little hands on scaly hips as he floated before his mistress. “Don’t interrupt when we’re doing our introductions!”

Capri supposed she shouldn’t have been surprised that the dragon spoke German, but it was a bit weird that it did so with a faint Japanese accent.

“Yes, sorry, I just…did you say you slew the Anemo Archon?” Venti said, looking like someone had just slapped him.

“FU FU FU FU!” Ami said. Capri thought it was supposed to be laughter from the way Ami clutched her belly and was acting, but it sounded more like someone reciting a line. She said something else in Japanese, with the dragon once more translating.

“Indeed! We have just returned from the field of battle, where my Mistress and her stalwart companions, including myself, have done battle with the Anemo Archon, slaying it and its minions, and bringing peace to Germany!”

There were loud cheers from the crowd at this, though Venti looked baffled.

“I’m sorry, there’s been a terrible mistake. I’m afraid I have to go see to something. I’ll just pop over and have a chat with your mother in the Reichstag,” Venti said, then turned around and walked off backstage. He popped his head back out, saying, “Don’t worry, I’ll let her know you didn’t kill me. Though I do want to hear about this pretender later.”

Then he vanished to uneasy mutters from the crowd. Capri and Naomi hurried after Venti, who was already striding away with a frantic Cookie in tow.

“That was amazing, incredible! I would have booked you guys every day to close out the con if I knew! Can you do another show on the main stage later?”

“I’m afraid something’s come up, I need to go have a chat with Raiden and clear a few things up,” Venti said, heading for the fire exit in the back as Naomi and Capri scrambled to keep up. There was another Japanese woman, this one about Capri’s age with glasses and a somewhat rumpled ‘Ich Bin Ein Berliner’ sweater, a tourist? Bodyguard? She seemed to have been talking to Itul, but was now following after Venti.

That got Cookie to try to block Venti’s path. “Woah! You can’t just go and talk with RAIDEN! She’s a head of state! Listen, maybe we can hook you up with a meeting through Ami later, but she’s with the Bundestag today and they don’t just let in randos like us!”

“I wasn’t planning on asking permission. Besides, I suppose it's time I met the government of my lands, and they got to know their Archon a little better,” Venti said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

He reached out to push the fire exit, prompting a frantic yell from Cookie. “NO!”

It was too late though. Venti pushed open the door, and an alarm instantly began to blare. He paused. “Ehe. Oops. Um, talk with Capri! She’ll sort this out!”

“WHY YOU LITTLE-” Cookie snarled, lightning swirling about her as she reached claw-like hands for Venti’s throat. Before she could make contact, Venti had turned into a breeze and vanished into the sky.

Slowly, Cookie rounded on Capri, murder in her eyes, but there was another, more pressing concern.

“Who was that?” the Japanese woman demanded coldly. Her glasses were gone, she had a large glowing purple bow in her hands, a crackling purple arrow on the string and pointed right at Capri.

“Woah! Sara, what gives!? What are you doing?!” Itul cried, trying to step between Sara and

“Would you believe me if I said he was just a tone deaf bard?” Capri asked, reaching for her own Vision as Naomi did the same beside her.

Sara shook her head. “No. Out of the way, Itul.”

“I didn’t think so,” Capri said with a sigh. Then she drew Skyward pride and charged with a wordless battle cry as Sara fired.

“-and so, our two nations must work together once more, this time not to spread war and chaos, but peace and prosperity amongst the nations.”

There was a polite applause, and Tsukuyomi scanned the faces of the mortals, calculating their response. Some looked uncomfortable, others nervous, a few angry. Curious. These feelings did not appear to be entirely directed at her, based on how the members of the Federal Diet were glaring at one another. Her analysis had been that appealing to a sense of stability and tradition due to their alliance during the last great war would have been a successful play.

Analyzing. Cross referencing material…

Conclusion reached: Germany is more ashamed of its involvement in the conflict known as World War II. Reasons unknown. Further research required.

Action: Reformatting speech.

WARNING: HIGH CONCENTRATION OF ELEMENTAL ENERGY DETECTED.

Looking up, Tsukuyomi saw someone moving through the press at the back of the gallery, and her Elemental Sight indicated they were a Vision Holder. A very powerful one.

ANALYZING…ANALYZING…NO THREAT DETECTED.

“Japan too has suffered greatly from the chaos and instability of the world today. We see too the suffering of our friends in Germany, and the Shogunate extends the offer of friendship and material aid in the rebuilding of Cologne, where so many died, and are still suffering today.”

This went over much better with the audience, though a few looked like their pride was slightly wounded.

“Even today, I am delighted that my daughter was able to work alongside German capes against the threat of the Anemo Archon, and defeat it to provide peace and security in-”

“Question!”

All eyes turned away from Raiden, as a gap in the press formed to reveal the interloper, who was standing with his hand raised. Now that Tsukuyomi got a better look at him, she noticed that his garb was odd. She assumed it was one of these “Cape” uniforms. That explained the Anemo Energy around him, as Vision Holders were typically called Capes in these lands.

Not waiting to be called upon, the stranger stepped forward. “Are you really sure that was the Anemo Archon?” Then he planted hands on his hips and grinned at Tsukuyomi, even going so far as to wink at her. Beside her, Mushu growled and lifted his hands to crack his knuckles.

ANALYZING…CONCLUSION: FLIRTATION. IGNORE.

“So it has been reported to me by trusted sources,” Tsukuyomi said flatly. Ami, Clara, Keiga, and a member of the Shuumatsuban had informed her that they had defeated this “Anemo Archon.” Ei had neglected to inform Tsukuyomi what the Anemo Archon was, and her records of Teyvat on the matter were spotty. She had surmised that this was another enemy god, such as the local Sustainer, and congratulated her sister and the others on their success.

Though she had been surprised a god could die so easily. Further research was required.

The stranger’s eyebrows shot up, even as grumpy-looking guards moved towards him. “Beezlebul! I’m wounded, how could you…wait a second…” With a gasp, the stranger jumped up on the bannister in front of him and pointed, prompting cries of outrage. “The rumors are true! You’re not Beezlebul, you’re the Shogunator!”

“Shogun…ator?” Tsukuyomi attempted to analyze this, but her database came up blank.

“Ah, you know, like that American movie!” the stranger pitched his voice lower, and said in heavily accented English, “<I’ll beh bahck.>”

“You are interfering, interloper. Depart,” Tsukuyomi stated, even as the German Prime Minister attempted to apologize for the rude interruption.

As security guards attempted to grab the fool, he danced away, pulling out a harp that he began to play

“O there was once a woman from Inazuma-”

Tsukuyomi’s attention snapped away from the Prime Minister and to this stranger. Inazuma?

“-who’s mother had quite a bad humah.” The word was mispronounced to ride with ‘Inazuma,’ and Tsukuyomi began to reach towards her breasts.

“She had thunderous thighs, but she had to realize,

That reports of my death were a rumah.”

The stranger frowned, dancing around another guard who tripped over himself, and rubbed his smooth chin. “Hmm, that’s pretty awful, I admit. Spur of the moment, you know?”

“Who are you?” Raiden demanded, her combat systems ramping up to full power as a halo of Electro formed about her.

“Why, Miss Shogunator! I’m disappointed your maker didn’t tell you who I am! Venti of Mondstadt, at your service!” He bowed just in time for another guard to flip over his back and land with a loud crash as the Reichstag descended into a chaotic uproar.

So loud was it, that only Raiden heard what he said as he straightened.

“And the True Anemo Archon.”

“Enemy of Eternity detected,” Tsukuyomi declared, drawing her sword. “Eliminate.”

“Ehe! Don’t you think that’s a bit extreme?” Venti laughed.

Shooting forward with all the strength and speed of her body and mother’s power, Tsukuyomi aimed to finish the battle as she had been trained: In a single, devastating blow.

Venti danced away, laughing merrily, somehow dodging the blow. “Well, that’s a little unfriendly, don’t you think?”

Then with a laugh, he ran out of the building, Tsukuyomi right behind him with sword in hand.

The Second Archon War, Carmen Dei 9

Stepping into the corner store, Naomi’s eyes darted around as she adjusted the thick fuzzy scarf hiding her face. She had on a large hat as well, which she’d hidden her red hair under. Hastily, she bought some yogurt and coffee, along with a newspaper, then raced back to the van. Along the way, she glanced at the cover story and winced.

ANGEL OR TERRORIST? NEW CAPE DESTROYS GESELLSCHAFT FACILITY

She hopped in the driver’s seat of the van, making Venti snort and start awake in the reclined passenger seat. He blinked a few times, then accepted the cup of coffee Naomi shoved at him as she devoured the newspaper, her food forgotten.

Berlin, 17th October, 2001

Berliners were awoken in terror last night, as the windstorm of the century battered the city. At first, panicked meteorologists believed that a hurricane had broken out over central Europe, but it was soon reported that in the eye of the storm, a new  Parahuman had emerged.

[an image of a bright green winged figure in the sky, storm clouds blotting out the sky]

This unknown individual attacked the Gesellschaft laboratory at 100 Dusseldorf Way in the industrial section of the city. Reports indicate that a giant wolf was the first on the scene, followed by three other unknown female capes. Eyewitnesses claim that one was Jewish, the other a gypsy based upon their costumes, but no photographic evidence has yet emerged.

On site security forces were unable to repel the attackers, and a protracted battle broke out. Before the authorities or other cape teams could respond, the facility was utterly annihilated.

[photo of the crater, with officials and capes combing the area, though no wreckage is visible in the devastation]

“The Berlin Plant was a medical facility looking into the treatment of individuals who have triggered, and researching parahuman biology for use in modern medical practices,” Walter von Solf, President of the Gesellschaft, said in a press statement this morning. “This insidious attack was designed to cripple our medical progress and harm the true German people. This is a day of mourning, but rest assured, we will track down and punish the individuals responsible.”

Notably, while there were a number of injuries in the attack, all of them were minor, with survivors being taken to a hospital and released after less than an hour. There is only one suspected fatality, one Frederica Hess, a 22-year-old woman from Hamburg who was employed as a medical tech by the Gesellschaft. As of now, she is listed as missing, and any information related to Miss Hess’ whereabouts should be sent to the authorities.

[picture of a smiling young woman with a Land and Social Labor Reform Party pin on her dress]

The primary person of interest is Venti Luft, though authorities cannot locate any records or information on this individual. Venti Luft is described as about 160 centimeters tall, with dark hair in braids, though their associates are as of yet unknown.

[A sketch that vaguely resembled Venti, of indeterminate gender]

For more information on our main story, see page 3.

Naomi lowered the paper, biting her lip, and glanced at Venti. Then she let out an outraged gasp. “My yogurt!”

“This is very good. I’ve had yogurt before, but not like this!” Venti said, licking a bit of strawberry-flavored Greek yogurt off his nose.

Naomi glared at him, but then tried to remind herself that Venti was a messenger from the Lord, and therefore, allowed to have her yogurt if he really wanted. Though she was still irritated. Closing her eyes, she said a short prayer, asking for patience and forgiveness.

“You’re forgiven,” Venti said airily, and Naomi opened her eyes and squeaked, putting her hands to her mouth in mortification.

“B-but I didn’t say that- can you hear prayers!?”

“Of course! Though, since that wasn’t to me, not really. But I can read lips, and yours were moving.”

“But…I said it in Hebrew,” Naomi said, feeling dazed.

“Oh, is that the language? Interesting, I hadn’t really heard it before,” Venti mused. “It’s not very common around here, though I have been picking up so many new languages as I establish a closer connection to the winds here. Ópos i glóssa aftoú tou exairetikoú giaourtioú!”

That last bit sounded like Greek to Naomi, though honestly, she wasn’t sure. She spoke German, French, English, Hebrew, and Yiddish, but not Greek. Well, alright, her English was only so-so, but her French and Hebrew were excellent.

“Regardless…what do you think about this?” Naomi said, holding up the papers.

“Well, they’re talking about us, which as an artist, is always gratifying don’t you think?” Venti said with a mischievous grin.

“Venti! I’m trying to be serious! Surely this isn’t the time to be joking!”

“I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley,” Venti deadpanned, his expression stern. Naomi thought about rolling up the newspaper and swatting him with it.

“Wazzup?” Capri said sleepily, poking her head through the small hatch between the front compartment and their bed in the rear. Her curly hair hung in a halo about her head, and as was typical of this hour her eyes were dazed and unfocused.

“Good morning! Coffee?” Naomi said, holding up a cup for Capri.

“Mmm. Love you,” Capri yawned gratefully, taking the cup and withdrawing back into the bedroom. While Naomi was very much a morning person, Capri definitely wasn’t. One of the harder obstacles in their relationship had been Naomi learning that Capri needed a bit of space first thing in the morning to get going, and Capri had learned not to snap at people who spoke to her before her preferred wake-up time of noon.

A few minutes later, a still bedraggled Capri hauled her carcass out of the van to lean on the driver’s side door and sip her coffee as Naomiread the story to her.

“Well, fuck me. I guess we should have suspected they would pull something like this,” Capri sighed heavily once Naomi was done. She eyed Venti as she took a long sip of coffee. “Well? What’s your plan, fearless leader?”

“Me?” Venti said, eyes going wide in faux innocence. “But I’m just the keyboardist?”

Naomi gave Venti the same look her mother gave her whenever she really wanted to twist the knife with an emotional guilt trip.

Appropriately enough, Venti clutched his stomach like he’d been stabbed. “You wound me! Well, for now, let’s just go to the manga expo. I think a few days in Berlin are just what we need, and I want to see what sort of cultural festivals you have here in Germany.”

“You want that, go to Oktoberfest. This is weeb shit,” Capri said with a derisive snort.

“Hmm, yes, but we have agreed to work there, and it sounds like fun! Besides, don’t you want to meet Lightning Princess Ami?” Venti asked.

“I’ve met enough young stars to imagine how she’ll be,” Naomi said, images of her spoiled young cousins or the other children at the various theater performances she’d been in from an early age. She’d been quite the brat herself if she were honest.

But not even that could have prepared her for the reality of what she was about to face.

“BEHOLD! I am the Prinzessin der Blitzen, the daughter of the Narukami Oshogo herself, LIGHTNING PRINCESS AMI!”

Posing on one leg, Ami held the other up and to the side, while one hand rested on her eyepatch, the other holding her sword skyward. She grinned evilly, and Murasaki sparked behind her, letting out a high-pitched roar as he breathed lightning.

“Hmm, not bad, but if you call yourself Prinzessin der Blitzen, that’s the same as Lightning Princess. I still think you should set off a few Jumpty Dumpties when you pose though,” Clara mused from where she was lying on the bed and regarding Ami.

“I don’t know, we’ll be inside, remember what happened the last time we set off Jumpty Dumpties inside?” Ami asked, dropping her pose and frowning as she gingerly touched her ears. She could certainly remember the splitting headache and ringing that had lasted for what felt like forever.

“I’ve been thinking about it!” Clara jumped up off the bed and pulled out the several Jumpty Dumpties she’d made from cannibalizing the phone and TV in their room, much to Ami’s annoyance. She’d had to fight Clara off with some zaps from Murasaki to keep the tinker from doing the same to her Game Boy. “These Jumpty Dumpties won’t cause any damage and only a soft sound, but they explode into rainbows and flowers, see!”

“Wait, no-!” even as Ami stretched out her hand to stop her friend, Clara tossed a Jumpty Dumpty in the air. The little rabbit bomb exploded in a shower of light and colorful petals with only a slightly deafening bang.

“Huh. Actually, that’s pretty cool,” Ami admitted as blossoms drifted through the air around her. “Do you think you could rig up a bunch to explode behind us when we do our Team Pose?”

“My lady,” Murasaki said, floating up by Ami’s ear and looking concerned. “Is it really wise to intentionally set off bombs inside of a crowded audience hall?”

“Eh, it’s fine, I can just heal them if they’re hurt, right?” Ami said with a shrug. “Now, let’s practice the pose again, but this time, with the Jumpty-”

The door swung open and a very irritated looking Keiga stalked in. “What, exactly, is going on in here, young ladies?!”

“Nothing!” Ami and Clara said in unison, by which method Keiga immediately knew as all adults who have been children do (which is most of them) that something was definitely going on.

Keiga surveyed the room, and the Jumpty Dumpty that Clara was trying to hide by kicking it under the bed, and sighed. “Did you set off a glitter bomb or something?”

“Um,” Clara said, and a withering look from Keiga changed whatever it was that she had been about to say. “Yes! I made a Glitter Dumpty! Do you want one?”

“No, I-” Keiga suddenly looked very green, and ran into the bathroom the girls’ suite contained, where loud retching sounds could be heard. That alarmed both Clara and Ami, with Ami going to see if she could help by healing and Clara by getting some towels to help clean up.

“Are you OK?” Ami asked, electricity sparking over her hands as she hovered above Keiga, who was spitting into the toilet.

A moment later, Murasaki floated up, clutching the cordless phone that was nearly as big as he was. “Mistress, should we telephone for emergency services? I have looked up the number, it is 112.”

“I’m fine, I just have an upset stomach,” Keiga grumbled, scrubbing at her mouth. “I have a pretty good idea of what’s wrong with me, since I’m late by three weeks now.”

“Late for what?” Ami asked, her brow furrowing. “We’re not supposed to be at MEX for a few hours.”

“I’ll tell you when you’re older. You’re both 10, so you’ll find out in a year or two at most. Wait. Has Raiden…huh. Does Raiden?” Keiga asked, frowning slightly in consternation as she went over to the sink and rinsed out her mouth.

“Does my mom what?” Ami asked, feeling a sickening sense of dread that she knew where this was going.

“Have periods. Has she talked to you about that?” Keiga asked, turning around and regarding both girls.

Ami and Clara shared looks, swallowed, and shook their heads. This was definitely not a conversation they wanted to have right now. Or ever.

“Fantastic. Well, we’ll deal with that when we get back to Japan,” Keiga decided, resting a hand on her abdomen. “Because I have a feeling you’re about to get a crash course.”

“Lady Keiga, do you feel up to accompanying Mistresses Ami and Clara to the convention?” Murasaki inquired.

“Yeah, I’ll take a couple of anti-nausea pills,” Keiga said with a grimace. “I’m fine to go. It’s not for a few hours though. What do you girls say we do a little sightseeing?”

“I want pretzels!” Ami said immediately. “Clara says they’re the best!”

“I’m not from Berlin, I’m from Hamburg. But it would be cool to see the city! My German’s a little rusty though. I talk at home with my dad but I don’t use it much aside from that,” Clara admitted.

“Aw come on, you’re just like Asuka! And since you’re a tinker, maybe you could build a giant robot!” Ami suggested enthusiastically.

“Or a really big Jumpty Dumpty,” Clara said with a wistful sigh.

“Let’s uh, just hit some tourist spots and eat some nice food,” Keiga sighed. “Pretzels sound good, I’m starving.”

“Didn’t you just throw up?” Ami asked, confused.

“Yeah but I’m craving salt like crazy, come on,” Keiga said and headed out. Ami and Clara followed after, with Murasaki putting the phone back before teleporting to Ami’s side.

Of course, it wasn’t as simple as just leaving the building. Ami was someone Important now, which meant she never got to go anywhere by herself. It was kind of annoying, but it was also pretty cool that wherever she went, she met both fans and reporters. Some of them obviously just wanted to ask about her mom, but just as many wanted to ask about Ami and her adventurers, especially in her anime.

Today, Ami was being escorted by an actual ninja, which just by itself was pretty awesome. This particular ninja wasn’t one that Ami had met before, and she was eager to hear about this Tengu’s adventures across the world.

Dressing up their special costumes, Ami and Clara raced down the hotel stairs, while Keiga took the elevator down. On the bottom floor, they found a mousey-looking Japanese woman with glasses and a too large sweater with an “Ich Bin ein Berliner” slogan on it. She had the look of a stereotypical Japanese tourist, with her camera and fanny pack, and Ami began to wonder if this was a real ninja. Where were her swords and throwing stars?

Upon catching sight of Ami, the woman gasped, blushing and bowing deeply to Ami. “Your Highness! Honored to meet you! I am, ah, Tengu. I have been assigned to escort you to MEX today in our search for the False God.”

“False God?” Ami asked, baffled, but Clara let out a squeal.

“You’re Sara Tengan!” Clara gasped, running over and looking up at the startled Sara with stars in her eyes. “The famous cosplayer! You cosplayed as me last month, will you sign the pictures?!”

That earned a blush as Sara straightened up. “Um, I am sorry, I don’t know who you are…did I cosplay as you?”

“She’s Jessica Klee, but her real name is Clara. They just call her Jessica in my manga,” Ami explained, a huge grin on her face. “You cosplay as me and my mom a lot! You’re really a ninja too!?”

“Ah, well, that’s a secret…I’m just supposed to be a tourist who happened to be at the same place as you,” Sara said, looking around in worry and making shushing sounds. “Mrs. Arakawa really based Jessica Klee on you?”

“Well, sorta. She was already going to include a friend for Ami, and created Jessica Klee before I came to Japan, but then she started drawing her more like me and we talk every month or so about stuff Ami and I do,” Clara said with a wide grin. “I have a framed photo of the three of us, and signed copies of Stray Dog! Even if it was her Earth Aleph version that wrote them.”

“I am so jealous! Arakawa-sensei is the greatest mangaka of our generation!” Sara gasped, looking absolutely star-struck. Then she looked around, a flush coming over her face. “Is…is her Excellency here?”

“She and Uncle Mushu are meeting with a bunch of politicians today,” Ami said with a shrug. “We were going to go sightseeing today, you’re our babysitter, right?”

“I think that’s my job, Miss Tegan is just here as a friend,” Keiga said, striding up and looking a lot better than she had a few minutes earlier. “I think we should start with breakfast though.”

“Lady Keiga! I would be honored to dine with you,” Sara gasped, bowing again.

“Great!” Clara said, turning towards the hotel doors. “Let’s go find a bakery! I’m going to prove to you, Ami. All bread doesn’t taste the same!”

“I mean it sort of does,” Ami said with a frown. “But I want to try a pretzel anyway.”

It wasn’t far to the bakery, but plenty of people stopped and stared at the little entourage. It made sense, as while Keiga and Sara were dressed in casual clothing, Ami and Clara had put on their hero outfits, and so they smiled and waved as they walked down the street. The baker was shocked enough to have two young capes in his story that he gave them both all free pretzels, even though Ami and Clara had about 200 marks between them. They did take a picture with the staff and sign it, and Clara translated that the baker was immensely proud to have dignitaries from Japan in his shop. When Clara explained that Ami had been under the impression that she thought all bread tasted the same, he looked morally outraged, and in loud and vociferous German swore that he would not allow such ignorance to persist in his store.

“He’s not going to kick us out, is he?” Ami asked Clara, glancing at the red faced man sideways.

“I think not, my Lady,” Murasaki said. “He seems to be offering you a chance to try several kinds of bread to dissuade you.”

That got both the girls and Keiga to turn to the little dragon curiously. “You can speak German?”

“Of course,” Murasaki said, preening at all the attention. “I studied several German dictionaries and listened to linguistic instruction during our flight over. Mine isn’t nearly as good as Mistress Clara’s, but I hazard he wants you to try Roggenmischbrot, or rye bread, Weißbrot, which is white wheat bread, Vollkornbrot, which is whole grain, and Mehrkornbrot, which is oat with linseed. And something called a ‘Berliner’ but I am uncertain as to its composition.”

“It’s a rye bread with a lot of yeast in it,” Clara explained after a short exchange with the baker. “It’s super yummy, my mom used to bake it for me!”

The women sat down at a table, and were served glasses of cold milk for the girls and cups of coffee for Keiga and Sara. A tray of fresh breads, still warm to the touch, were brought out, along with some butter to spread on them. After trying just two, Ami had to admit defeat.

“They ARE different! And please tell Mister Baker that this, um, what do you call it? The oat bread?”

“Mehrkornbrot,” Murasaki supplied in between him ripping bits of bread off the loaf and swallowing them.

“Yes, tell him it’s delicious!” Ami agreed.

“Say, ‘Dieses Brot ist köstlich!’” Clara urged, and Ami repeated the phrase, though she stumbled over the more guttural bits.

The baker beamed at the praise, laughing and rattling off something in German, before bringing over a special treat: a tray of pastries, which Clara explained were NOT bread, but rather a dessert.

By the time they left the bakery nearly an hour later, Ami and Clare were absolutely stuffed, nearly groaning with how much good food they’d eaten.

“So much bread,” Ami sighed, patting her stomach. “We’ll have to get the cooks at the palace to make some for my mom!”

“I don’t think so, we should really hire a proper German baker. No offense, but Japanese people don’t know how to make bread,” Ami said, making a face.

“You said your mom did,” Ami pointed out, frowning.

Clara’s expression fell at that, and she looked down, a tear forming in the corner of her eye. “Yeah…grandma taught her how…I…I miss them both…”

Feeling a hitch in her own chest, Ami gave Clara a hug. “It’s OK…I miss my first parents too…but we’re your family now, Clara.”

Even with people watching the two girls hug, Ami didn’t really care. Most Japanese people were very private, but she’d gotten over that when she realized that as Raiden’s daughter, she’d be spending the rest of her life in the spotlight. Besides, everyone knew the cool stuff she did thanks to the manga and anime that bore her name, so why worry about it?

“Girls, we’ve got trouble,” Keiga said sternly, and they both looked up. Sara had removed her glasses and was gazing towards the east, where dark clouds had formed. That was where the angel had been the night before, wasn’t it?

“Is it the Anemo Archon?” Sara muttered, clutching her camera to her chest. There was a distant rumble and boom, and the crowd around them gasped.

“What is this? A threat to the people of this city?” Ami gasped, striking a pose. Murasaki, catching the mood, popped up behind her, loudly translating her words into German so the bystanders would know how awesome she was.

“I think so, my Lady,” Clara said, posing next to her and speaking her lines twice for the benefit of all.

“Lady Keiga! It is our duty as Sentei to see to the safety of all people, be they German, or Japanese! Besides, how could we allow the Spark Knight’s countrymen to face danger alone?” Ami declaimed.

Keiga frowned. “We don’t have a license to operate in Germany girls, we-”

“I have to go,” Sara said, bowing to Ami and Clara suddenly. “I am under orders to locate the Anemo Archon for your mother.” She dashed off around the corner of a building and into an alleyway without further explanation.

“Really? Well, we’ll help!” Ami said brightly, ignoring Keiga’s attempted protestations. “Murasaki! Initiate travel form!”

“At your command, Mistress!'' The little dragon sucked in a breath, and seemed to inflate like a balloon, until he was the size of a horse, though much more slender and with a unicorn’s horn, and whiskers like a catfish. He resembled the kirin, the mythological storm spirit of Japan. Both girls hopped aboard, with Keiga sighing and jumping on behind them.

“You’ll just run off if I tell you no, won’t you?” she asked rhetorically.

“Yep! Now, onward, my mighty steed!” Ami ordered, drawing her sword and pointing it forward.

Murasaki reared and whinnied, then with a stomp of thunder, dashed off into the sky and in the direction of the disturbance.

A few moments later, there was the flap of black wings, and a crackling purple raven with a 12 foot wingspan rose into the air from the same alley that Sara had disappeared into. Ami grinned and waved. “Hi Tengu! Ready to kick ass?”

“The Shuumatsuban will accompany you into battle, Princess of Storms,” Sara cawed, her voice now rather bird-like, and with a faint reverb. “I will defeat this Anemo Archon, and earn the favor of your mother!”

“Not if we beat him first!” Ami laughed, and they raced over the rooftops of Berlin, towards an area of utter devastation.

Above the wide crater Ami could see, swirling green dust devils were forming as dark clouds coalesced overhead. At the center, a great ball of green light could be seen, and below people were fleeing, most of them in official-looking uniforms. A few capes in costume had already formed up below the eye of the storm, and looked ready to fight. Whatever was going to happen, they were ready.

Opening her spirit eyes, Ami looked out at the storm, and gasped. It glowed with elemental energy, though not the purple lightning she was familiar with from Raiden or other Vision Holders. This was green, and instead of crackling, it whirled about wildly in the wind. What had Sara called it? Anemo? Was this the birth of a new god?

Maybe, but Ami suspected this was closer to the slimes or whopper flowers she and Clara fought as a part of their training. Those were also made out of elemental energy, and indeed, Ami could see smaller chunks of the Anemo energy turning into blob like shapes that were green in color, and began to flap around in the storm on wings that looked too small to support them.

Out of the green tornadoes, spheres of Anemo energy condensed into orbs of pure power. They tore at the ground below them, and rocks and dirt rose up, forming into a sort of shell that half covered them, turning them into winking green eyes that peered out at the humans below them.

The capes launched various attacks at the new threat, but none of them seemed to have any effect on the green eyes. A few did hit the floating slimes, which popped like balloons and flew away. Other slimes noticed the threat, and swooped down, battering the capes and sending a few staggering to the ground.

Ami grinned widely, and pointed her sword forward. “Attack, Murasaki!”

“FORTH THE LIGHTNING’S GLOW!” the kirin bugled, and lowered his horn as he charged, straight at the nearest foe. Tengu cawed, and swooped away, transforming into a winged woman who held a glowing bow in her hands, and began to pelt another eye with arrows.

They clashed with the eye, Murasaki’s horn puncturing the shell. Ami slashed at the green energy with her crackling sword, using the forms her mother had taught her. While the physical blade didn’t seem to do much, the elemental energy infusing her blade did tear at and disrupt the eye’s own form, causing it to emit a high pitched rumble and to lash at the riders with its winds.

“GO, JUMPTY DUMPTY!” Clara cackled, and tossed out a handful of her bombs. A large one hit the eye dead on, and shattered the shell. The elemental energy leaked away with a roar, and the shell fell to the ground, destroyed.

“Split up! We can take them!” Ami encouraged, and Murasaki lowered himself so that Clara and Keiga could hop off.

“What are these things? Where did they come from?” Keiga yelled at one of the German capes, then swore when they could only shrug in response. She pulled out several flasks she kept on her, and popped the lids off. With a twitch of her fingers, she manipulated the water out, turning it into a liquid spear she launched at a slime that had been pelting the Germans with gusts of wind. The water punctured the monster, which exploded with a loud pop and vanished.

Turning about, Ami pointed her sword at another eye, one that had been sucking several hapless civilians up in a vortex of wind. “Let’s rescue them, Murasaki!”

“At once, my Lady!” The kiran thundered off, and Ami snagged the four men and women out of the air. They let out cries of gratitude, and Murasaki landed a safe distance away, allowing them to scramble to safety.

Wheeling her mount about, Ami pointed her sword and shouted a challenge at the monster, which seemed to respond to her cry. It fired off bolts of green energy at her, which she was forced to deflect with her sword. One hit her and nearly knocked her off Murasaki’s back. She grunted in pain, but this was far from the first time she’d fought a monster with magic powers.

“Circle around behind it, then we’ll skewer it!” Ami ordered, brushing off the hit as Murasaki’s power sparked over her, healing the bruises she’d suffered.

Racing around the monster, which Ami decided to call “Eye of the Storm,” Murasaki dodged more bolts of energy, and then closed it, brushing just past it. Ami slashed with her sword, and the Eye roared in anger and pain. It sent out bursts of Anemo, but Murasaki danced away, then back again, allowing Ami to strike while it was sucking in more wind to attack with. After two such passes, the shell broke and crumpled, dropping to the ground as the thing dispersed.

About the same time, another Eye collapsed under a barrage of Jumpty Dumpties from Clara, and several German capes rallied, taking out their own eye with the help of Keiga. Tengu had brought down two Eyes with her arrows, her ability to fly letting her dominate the somewhat slow moving Eyes as she darted around.

There was a loud cheer as the last Eye fell, and the capes turned their attention to the hovering slimes, which were far less dangerous.

However, even as the slimes were brought down, the rest began to float towards the center of the crater. First a few, then a dozen, then nearly a hundred slimes were absorbed by the great storm raging at the center of the crater. Realizing something bad was about to happen, Ami cried out.

“Bring them down! Don’t let them merge!”

Most couldn’t understand her words, but everyone seemed to grasp that something deadly was about to take shape. There was a frantic effort to reduce the numbers of slimes, and scores of them were struck from the skies.

But it wasn’t enough.

With a keening wail, the green eye suddenly shifted from a sphere, to a large cube, made up of eight smaller cubes with strange markings over a center that was a swirling green eye more intense even than any of the other Eyes of the Storm. The winds raged, blasting out hard enough to pick up grown men and send them flying, with Murasaki and Ami nearly being sent tumbling from the sky.

The cube thing dropped, and let out a warbling wail. Then, its shape shifted, so that its eight cubes split into what looked like wings on either side of the center eye in the shape of a diamond-like prism. It sent out a great blast of wind that cracked stone, several German capes barely leaping out of the way in time.

“A boss monster,” Ami breathed. A wide grin spread over her face. “This is AWESOME! Come, Murasaki! We must slay the beast!”

Sword leveled, Ami charged, focusing her will on her blade. It sparked and crackled, and a moment later, a bolt of lighting shot out, striking the enemy. The surface of the sphere rippled, and it drew it’s cubes back about itself, flying away from Ami across the battlefield and out of her range.

Once it was at the edge of the crater, the Anemo beast opened up again, it’s cubes vanishing as it took the form of a winged fairy, swooping down and sending out great gusts in the direction of Ami and Murasaki, who were forced to dodge crazily to keep from being swatted from the sky.

“KA-BOOM!” Clara shouted, and tossed out half a dozen Jumpty Dumpties from below and behind the anemo creature They were sucked up, exploding and causing it to fall to the ground, its cubes reforming and swirling about it crazily.

Tengu popped up, and along with several German capes, they fired off arrows and other ranged attacks at the creature, only for it to once more dash across the crater away from them. It stopped at the center this time, and the cubes shot up into the sky, slamming down near capes that had to scramble aside.

“It’s vulnerable, attack!” Ami cried, waving her sword. Mursasaki dashed across the field, dodging strikes from the cubes as he went, building up speed, lightning crackling around him. With a final cry, Ami extended her blade, and they slammed into the cube.

The surface cracked, and winds spilled out, knocking Ami from her seat and sending Muraskai cartwheeling away. Orbs of anemo were spread across the field as the prism shattered and wobbled, spinning out of control. Slowly, the bits of energy began to drift back towards the prism, and Ami realized what was happening.

“Scatter the energy! Don’t let it reform!”

There was a frantic few minutes as the capes worked together to disperse the energy, some using tinkertech weapons, others brute force to swat down the energy, two German Vision Holders blasting them apart with lightning.

At last, all the Anemo dissipated, and the prism stilled, simply floating there, glowing faintly. Ami approached it, and raised her sword.

“Trouble this land no more!” she roared, and brought her blade down with all the force in her tiny body. It smashed into the prism, which shattered, spilling out the last of its power with a sigh of wind.

Gasping for breath, Ami straightened looking around. For a few moments, all was still.

Then, Tengu lifted her bow up. “Three cheers for the Prinzessin des Blitzes!”

Clara repeated that in German, then took up the cry. Before long, even the German capes were chanting.

“Prinzessin des Blitzes! Prinzessin des Blitzes!”

Ami grinned and sheathed her sword, bowing to her audience as Murasaki shrank back down to a little dragon. She struck a pose as an electro sigil appeared over her head.

“BEHOLD! I AM LIGHTNING PRINCESS AMI, DAUGHTER OF RAIDEN, AND SHE WHO HAS DEFEATED THE ANEMO ARCHON!”

This was going to make the best episode of Lightning Princess Ami. She couldn’t WAIT to tell Arakawa-Sensei and her mom all about it!

Author’s Note:

Is it possible to be a chuunibyo if a goddess adopted you, you have a magical lightning pony, and they made an anime about you?

…never mind. Yes it is. It definitely is.

The Second Archon War: Sapienta Oromasdis Preview

This chapter takes place approximately one year ahead of where we are in the timeline currently, but I wanted to get Nahida right in my head first. This will probably eventually become the actual first chapter in her story line, but for now, enjoy what amounts to a look into the future exclusively for patreons. 

Sapientia Oromasdis 1 - It was her Birthday

It was my birthday. When I woke up, I was riding in a flower carriage. I'd just had a dream... I dreamed it was my birthday. In the dream, the Knight of Flowers and his retainers found me. "Oh Archon, we've finally found you. The people can't wait to meet you." The Sabzeruz Festival began, and everyone smiled as they gathered around me. Finally, I got back on the carriage and waved goodbye.

Nahida twitched in her dream, writhing uncomfortably. How many times had she dreamed this? She tried to make her dreams pleasant, tried to make them the wholesome wish that her heart begged for.

But she knew the reality behind the fairy tale.

The flower carriage had been a wagon with barred windows and straw on the floor.

The Knight of Flowers had been a stern-faced sage who had never smiled at her once.

They had called her the Archon. They hadn’t been kind about it. They had recognized her Gnosis, but had taken her, locked her way in this chamber.

It was my birthday.

It was her birthday today. She was 505 years old. She dreamed of friends, of candy, and made a little girl-sized table with cakes and tea, and of course, flowers. It wasn’t real though. Just pretend. A dream.

When I woke up…

Something changed. Nahida started, and opened her eyes, then let out a cry as she bounced and jostled around. She fell over, and stared up at a clear blue sky.

I was riding in a flower carriage.

All around her were rough sacks, of a fabric Nahida didn’t recognize. She rubbed the fabric between her fingers, even as she bounced again amidst the sacks. There were strong smells and loud sounds everywhere, and this was not the Sanctuary of Surasthana! In fact…she felt something was missing, that something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

Peeking into the sacks, Nahida found that they contained radishes. She smiled to herself for a moment, and despite her terror and confusion, let out a nervous giggle. She was a little radish, wasn’t she? Kept hidden away, growing in the dark, where no one could see her.

Propping herself up despite the rattling of the vehicle she was in, Nahida looked around her, and her jaw dropped in amazement. All around her were buildings, made of what looked like white or light gray stone or bricks. But they were unlike buildings she had seen before! Many of them had colorful signs on them, in a language she had never seen before. She looked around excitedly and was soon able to comprehend it. Arabic. This was Arabic. She just knew it! A new language of Man.

Clapping her hands in delight, Nahida lifted her head up further, peering over the side of the…wagon? No, not a wagon. It was a vehicle unlike anything she’d ever seen, or read about, or even dreamed of! It moved on four wheels and was bouncing over a somewhat broken road. This wagon was red under its scuffs and stains, with a compartment up front with a man driving. There were more vehicles in so many different colors all around her, some standing still, others moving with no visible means of locomotion. How did they do that? It had to be some sort of elemental energy. She dearly wanted to take one apart to see how it worked, but she kept her head down nervously and watched the people going by her.

They were…people. Not the people of Sumeru City, more like the Eremites of the desert. Some were lighter, others dark and swarthy, but their clothes! Their clothes were so fascinating! There were so many fabrics and colors, so many styles and shapes! There were robes and dresses she was familiar with, but also tunics, blouses, shirts, trousers, jackets…so many! Nahida hoped she could try on some of these clothes, to be like one of these people!

But who were they? They had dreams, and they spoke Arabic, which was much like the language of the Eremites, but different, as though it had diverged hundreds or thousands of years ago. Nahida could sense them, and they felt…right. Like they were her people, though they didn’t know it yet. But then again, the people of Sumeru City were much the same way: they were hers, but not. That thought made Nahida feel miserable, so she crouched down in the bed of the not-wagon and sniffled, bouncing along the road.

Suddenly, the not-wagon came to a sudden halt. Nahida looked up, her eyes growing wide as she realized the man driving the wagon had seen her in the bed. He got out, slamming the door behind him, his face red with fury as he pointed out her.

“THIEF! You little thief! Stealing the radishes right out of my truck! Allah curse you, what are you doing you little rat?!”

Cringing, Nahida tried to hide under a sack, even though she knew it was useless. The sack was soon pulled off of her, and the man grabbed her by her dress roughly, pulling her out of the bed and tossing her on the pavement. It was hot, and burned Nahida’s bare skin, causing her to cry out in pain even as she mended her own wounds. She lay there on her back, staring up in terror at the man.

“Who are you, what are you doing among my- wait! You are one of them! A cursed devil!” he looked suddenly frightened, and Nahida tried to scramble away on the pavement of the road, but she flinched, the black stuff was so burning hot!

In the back of her mind, she knew she didn’t need to fear this man. He was a regular mortal, with no Vision, or even a weapon she could see. His hair was dark, as were his eyes, his skin the dark brown of Karmaphala bark, with lines and wrinkles from long days in the sun, and his soul felt as though he were about four decades old. He wore blue pants of a durable-looking fabric, with shoes made of an odd rubber-like substance, and a shirt in a red and blue cross pattern with a belt. The fear and anger was radiating off him now, which only frightened Nahida further.

“Devil! Get away from-”

“Hey there! What seems to be the problem?” a chipper woman’s voice said.

With tears in her eyes, Nahida looked around to see a woman twirling a spear in her hands stepping towards them. She was dressed…well, to Nahida it looked exotic, but compared to everyone else, there was something very odd about the woman. Her clothes were back, with red butterflies stitched into the hem of her garment, which was a long jacket paired with a dress that came down to her ankles. On her head was perched a black hat with a short brim, with red flowers tucked into the band, and more scarlet butterflies embroidered on it. Her eyes were red, with odd-looking pupils that looked like more red butterflies.

“Stay back! You’re another of the devils!” the man snarled, taking a step towards his truck.

“Me? Oh, no no! I’m licensed by our Glorious Leader and the Ba’ath Party as an Official Cape, see?” she pointed to a badge of a flag on her bosom, which had a red triangle on the left, with a black, white, and green line on it. She doffed her hat and swept a bow. “Farasha, at your service! What seems to be the problem, my dear citizen?”

“She is like you! She was stealing my radishes! She’s a thief!” the man declared, pointing again at Nahida as he stepped away, towards the door of his wagon.

Farasha turned curious eyes on Nahida, who wilted further. The woman stank of Death. Her very aura was sick and twisted, and made Nahida’s stomach tie itself in knots. She felt like she was going to throw up. But…but the eyes were kind, and she seemed to pity Nahida.

No. Grownups couldn’t be trusted. They might seem kind, but that was only ever so they could trick Nahida into doing what they wanted. Like the Sages. She tried to be good, tried to help them, tried to be a Great Archon like Greater Lord Rukkhadevata, but she never lived up to the dreams mortals had of her.

“Well, I’ll just take her then! Thanks for your report, Citizen!” Farasha declared. Then, to Nahida’s shock, she bent and swept Nahida up in her arms, slinging her spear on her back. As she did so, she dropped her voice, “Where are you from, kid? Where are your parents?”

Nahida could barely speak, she was so overwhelmed by the smell of death, but she managed, “I-I don’t have p-parents…”

Wincing, Farasha nodded. “Yeah, I guess I should have known that. Here, I keep this for when I run across a strict imam. Wrap it around your head, hide those ears and that hair.”

Nahida took the black length of fabric, and looked up at Farasha, who was smiling at her. She felt…like grief. Sadness. Empathy. As if she knew what Nahida had gone through, was going through, and wanted to help. If this Imam…a holy man? If a holy man saw Nahida with her head uncovered and her face bare, if people saw her pointed ears and silver-white hair…there would be trouble. Hastily, Nahida wrapped the scarf around her head, so that only her eyes and nose were visible. Despite the feeling of death in Farasha’s spirit, Nahida clung to her chest as she was born away.

“No parents, huh. I can relate, unfortunately…where are you from, sweetie? What’s your name?”

Nahida realized the error here. Farasha thought that Nahida’s parents were dead, as she was also apparently an orphan. However, Nahida had no parents in the truest sense: she had been born of a concept, the embodiment of an Aspect of Reality. In her case, she was the Wisdom of Irminsul, manifested on Teyvat.

What a cruel joke: the god of wisdom, and yet she was only a child. She could appreciate the irony at times.

However, Nahida did not correct Farasha. For one thing, grownups did not like it when you openly corrected them. For another, she was beginning to realize that Farasha, and the man from before, had no idea who Nahida was. And, actually, Nahida realized she probably wasn’t in Sumeru. How should she answer this question? It was important to be truthful, Nahida knew that, but often people did not like to hear plain truth.

So, as she was Wisdom, Nahida chose her words carefully.

“From the desert. I don’t know the name of the little town where I’m from...I…I remember being lost, then there was…the radishes. I hid in them. I didn’t know where they were going, but…”

That skipped over a great deal and was barely true, but it did satisfy Farasha. She brushed away the tears from Nahida’s eyes with her fingers and smiled her sad smile. “Shhh, it’s OK, I have you now. Can you tell me your name?”

Her name. Nahida had so many names. Dendro Archon. Buer. Lesser Lord Kusanali. The God of Wisdom.

But she decided to give none of those.

“Call me Nahida.”

“That’s a pretty name, Nahida. I’m going to take you somewhere safe, OK? Just a moment.” Farasha approached a line of clothes drying in the warm sun, and grabbed a length of white cloth. “Thank you for your donation to the Ba’ath Party, Citizen! I’ll bring it back later, never fear!”

A frightened woman who had been about to yell caught sight of Farasha. She must have sensed the Death as well, and she shrank back, hiding in her home.

Taking the cloth, Farasha hastily wrapped it about Nahida like a dress, obscuring her own clothes. “Where ever did you get those clothes? They’re very stylish, but I’m afraid they draw the eyes. Not what a young lady wants to do in Baghdad, especially not a freshly triggered parahuman. Ayah! Allah must be testing us again, hmm?”

Allah. A god? Cautiously, Nahida felt out with her spirit. Was she in the realm of another of the Seven? She didn’t sense the presence of another Archon, not in this city, or even this land. If there was a god here, they were too distant for Nahida to feel them.

She didn’t respond, instead resting her head on Farasha’s shoulder. She was so exhausted, she was even able to ignore the Death about the woman. She nearly stuck her thumb in her mouth, but didn’t. She might be a child, but that was too far. Unbecoming of a god. Though sometimes, she woke up from nightmares sucking her thumb. She always felt horribly embarrassed when she did. Even if no one ever saw.

“I know just where to take you, Nahida! Don’t worry, we won’t be going to see our Glorious Leader or my masters in the Party! No, I’ll take you to see a friend. He looks after lost little girls like you and me. There will be friends there for you to play with, would you like that?”

At the mention of ‘friends’ Nahida jerked her head up, her eyes wide. Play? Oh, how badly Nahida wanted to play! If there was one thing she wanted more than anything else in the entire world, it was friends to play with! Other children! To run, barefoot on the grass, playing games, singing, and holding hands together!

But she couldn’t. The sages never let her leave the Sanctuary, and certainly never let another child into her presence. Most days, someone simply brought her food and water, and occasionally gave her a bath. The attendants rarely even spoke to her, beyond what was strictly required. They were always so dour…

“Oh-ho! You like the sound of that, don’t you?” Farasha asked, smiling with less sadness than she usually did.

Nahida nodded cautiously, looking around her. They were walking through streets that seemed magical and alien…but they were run down. There were cracks in the mortar, peeling paint, potholes in the road that had caused all that jostling, and clothes on that were stained and mended many times. The people looked downtrodden, and frightened, staying away from Farasha, even going so far as to cross the narrow street to get away from her, or ducking into buildings.

It was too bad. Farasha did feel like Death, but she was also…compassionate. Cheerful. Nahida was almost surprised the woman didn’t have a Pyro Vision. Did she lack ambition? It didn’t seem like it.

“Well, my friend is a Doctor, his name is Bashir Saeed. He’s a very kind man, who looks after certain lost children, just like you! He treats many sick children in his clinic, and was even trained far, far away, in Britain! Have you heard of Britain?”

Nahida shook her head, still watching the people around her. Some looked at her with curiosity, others with pity, a few with animosity. But mostly, they looked at her with dull, uncaring eyes. A look she was all too familiar with.

Farasha chattered away as she walked, a swing in her step and a smile on her face, but sadness in her heart. Her soul felt…wounded. Empty. There was something else there. A demon. Hiding in her spirit. But Farasha smiled anyway and laughed at a joke she told Nahida. It was actually a very funny joke, and Nahida giggled and covered her mouth with her hands. She’d have to remember that one.

It wasn’t too long before they came to a building in what Nahida had determined to be a slum, a horrible thought to her for Sumeru City had no slums, with a sign out front that read ‘Doctor Bashir Saeed, Pediatrics and Obstetrician.’ There was a short mud brick wall that was carefully whitewashed around the clinic, and a wooden gate. There was another of those wagons parked on the paved path near the building, this one white with a red crescent painted on the side and no bed. More of a carriage then? Nahida wasn’t sure.

The yard was mostly dirt and some dying grass, though there were two date palms and a small garden in the shade of the building that grew vegetables. A young girl who looked to be about six worked in the garden, wrapped in a blue shawl, and with a blue veil over her face. She looked up when Farasha approached holding Nahida, and stood there with a watering can clutched in her eyes, looking up with icy blue eyes, her expression vacant.

“Hello, Qiqi!” Farasha said brightly, kneeling down and setting Nahida on her feet on the cool bricks of the path. She reached out and rubbed Qiqi’s head. “I’ve brought you a new friend!”

“Friend?” Qiqi asked, her tone dull and listless, her gaze touching Nahida, but not seeing her.

“Say hello,” Farasha urged, gently nudging Nahida.

“H-hello. I’m Nahida.” She extended a hand in greeting, though she winced. There was also something wrong with Qiqi. Her spirit also had a demon feeding up on it. She sensed pain, so much pain, from Qiqi. So much so that the other little girl had shut herself up in her own mind, and was hiding from it, terrified to ever come out.

Qiqi looked at her blankly, until Farasha gently took her hand, and guided it to Nahida’s. “Say hello, Qiqi.”

“Hello, Qiqi.”

Farasha sighed, the pain coming off her was almost too much to bear.

So, Nahida thought about it. Quickly of course, far more quickly than a mortal could. “Hello, Nahida.”

At that, Qiqi smiled faintly and took Nahida’s hand. Her touch was chill as if her blood didn’t circulate properly, but Nahida shook it anyway.

Farasha laughed, and much of the pain vanished from her eyes, at least for a moment. She hugged both Nahida and Qiqi tightly, kissing them on their foreheads. “You’ll be perfect for one another…”

“Qiqi? Is someone there?” a deep male voice called, and a man stepped out of the door of the clinic.

Doctor Bashir was younger than Nahida had expected, no more than thirty. His dark beard was neatly tripped, and a mustache covered his lips as well. The rest of Bashir’s hair was close-cropped, but cut in a way Nahida surmised was fashionable and well groomed. The make of his clothes was excellent and of good materials, but not ones that Nahida had seen before. His jacket was cream colored, and a necktie that was green was about his neck, while his waistcoat was tan, as were his neatly pressed pants. So well shined were his shoes that they seemed to glow in the light, even with the dust and sand everywhere.

“Ah, Farasha, and who’s this?” the doctor said, stepping forward and carefully kneeling on the well-swept path, avoiding the wet patch from Qiqi’s sloppy watering of the garden.

Despite herself, Nahida felt shy and nervous, and hid behind Farasha, clutching the woman’s dress in her hand. Farasha might stink of Death, but she had been far kinder to Nahida than any grownup she’d met in…well. A very long time. Maybe ever.

“It’s OK, little one. This is Doctor Bashir, the man I told you about.”

“H-hello,” Nahida stammered, peeking out with only one eye. A doctor. A man of learning. Had he been to the Akademiya? No, no, Farasha said he’d been schooled somewhere called Britain. Besides, this world…it didn’t feel like Teyvat. Still. Nahida didn’t trust scholars. She’d had too much experience that told her not to.

Taking off his glasses and tucking them into his jacket pocket, Bashir gave Nahida a warm, kind smile, though he had to squint. He was clearly very near-sighted. “Hello. I’m Doctor Bashir. Are you sick, my friend? I help children who are ill.”

Nahida shook her head hastily. She wasn’t sick, she knew that much. Just lost.

“Nahida, introduce yourself,” Farasha encouraged, twisting around to gently guide Nahida forward.

“I…I’m Nahida,” she said, feeling foolish and oh so much like a child. When would she ever grow up? Would she ever grow up?

“Peace be upon you, Nahida,” the doctor said, putting a gentle but strong hand on Nahida’s shoulder. “Please, come inside. Qiqi, leave the watering for now. I have some popsicles in the freezer. Do you like popsicles, Nahida?”

“I don’t know,” Nahida admitted. “But I promise I’m not a picky eater. I-I am hungry, though.”

It turned out that Nahida LOVED popsicles. She picked one that was green, and it tasted of fruit and sweet sugar! She sucked on it and licked it happily, delighted to enjoy the treat. She was on her third lick when she blushed and looked up. “Um, thank you very much, Doctor Bashir. It’s good.”

He smiled at her gently as he handed Qiqi a popsicle of her own, then helped her sit down in a chair. To Nahida’s surprise, the chairs she and Qiqi sat in were sized for children, not grownups. There were grown-up chairs, Farasha was sitting in one and enjoying a red popsicle, which she was biting instead of just licking. Nahida tried a nibble, and gasped at how cold it was! How wonderful.

“Qiqi eat popsicle? Qiqi good?” the other little girl asked.

“Yes, my dear. Always,” Doctor Bashir said gently, stroking Qiqi’s head.

She nodded and began to slowly lick the popsicle. After a moment, a drop fell on her clothes. She looked down, her eyes suddenly focusing and widening in horror. “Sorry! Qiqi sorry!”

“There, there, it’s alright, dear,” Bashir said, his tone still mild and gentle as he used a cloth napkin to dab at the stain. “Just enjoy your popsicle, alright?”

Tears in her eyes, Qiqi nodded, and began slowly licking her treat once more.

Bashir sighed, and shared a long look with Farasha, who looked heartbroken as well. Then he seated himself in a chair by Nahida, a child-sized chair, despite the adult ones. Why?

He’s trying to put himself on my level, to not be intimidating. He’s making it appear we’re equals, and treating me with respect. He doesn’t even know I’m the Dendro Archon. He did the same for Qiqi, and outside, even though he got his knee dirty. He brushed it off, but there’s still dust. So he values the feelings of children more than his expensive clothes. I wonder why? I think…I think I can trust this grownup.

Nahida smiled nervously at Bashir, setting aside her popsicle.

“No, no, finish it, please. It will melt,” Bashir said, shaking his head and smiling.

“No melting,” Qiqi said, and pointed at Nahida’s popsicle.

Nahida dropped it in horror as cold flowed out of Qiqi’s demon and onto the popsicle.

No Vision. Not a god. How? This was impossible! The heat had been sucked away by the demon as if it had been eaten; there was no Cryo energy at all. This was unnatural.

“It’s alright, Nahida. Qiqi didn’t mean to hurt you,” Bashir said, picking up the popsicle. He tossed it into a trash bin, then stood and got another popsicle, handing it to Nahida. “Qiqi, please, no powers right now.”

“Qiqi good. No powers,” the little girl agreed. She looked down at the ground. “Qiqi bad. Qiqi sorry.”

“It’s alright, Qiqi. You just…scared me. You don’t…do you have a Vision?” Nahida asked uncertainly.

Bashir’s eyebrows shot up. “You have heard of Visions? Most in Iraq do not yet recognize the subtle distinction between parahumans and Vision holders. Where did you hear of Visions, Nahida?”

In response, Nahida reached into her robes and pulled out a mock Vision. She made it even as she reached for it, transforming a leaf she grew into one. There was so much she did not know or understand, including what a Parahuman was. That seemed very important. But she did know what a Vision looked like, even if she didn’t have one. It seemed wise not to appear to be a parahuman, or a god right now. She could just be Nahida, a little girl with a Vision. It would be unusual for a child of the age she appeared to be, but not impossible.

“Remarkable,” Bashir breathed and reached for the Vision. He paused, his fingers only inches from it, and looked at Nahida. “May I?”

She nodded, deciding she could definitely trust Doctor Bashir. He asked instead of taking. Even from a child he thought was in his power. He wasn’t like the sages at all.

He took the Vision and held it up, studying it. “Truly remarkable. It doesn’t look like any Visions I’ve seen before. Not an electrical or wind based one at all.”

“Electro or Anemo?” Nahida asked, curious. “Do you know where Visions come from?”

The Doctor’s eyes sparkled, and he grinned. “I don’t think anyone does, Nahida. Some say they are the gifts of Allah to the Faithful, to guard against the devilish parahumans. Others say they are more wicked tricks, to tempt mankind away from the path of righteousness.”

Nahida nodded, considering. “But what do you think, doctor?”

He laughed and handed the Vision back to Nahida. “I think that perhaps we are all fools sometimes. Where Visions come from, only Allah knows. Certainly not I. Where do you think Visions come from, Nahida? You have one, not I.”

She considered her answer carefully, and after a long moment, gave her honest opinion. “I think they are the crystalized ambitions of mortal men, who echo the minds of gods.”

“Ah, a theory I have heard before,” Bashir’s gaze darkened, and Nahida sensed serene fury. Not directed at her, or anyone else in the room. When he spoke again, there was no trace of the anger, but his tone was quiet, with notes of fear. For her mostly, but also himself and the others in the room. “Do not speak that theory, even if I think you are closer to the truth than most. Some would call it blasphemy. Such thoughts are dangerous in Baghdad.”

Nahida nodded, thoughtfully licking her popsicle as she tucked the false vision away. She felt guilty about tricking Bashir, but she didn’t want to tell him she was a god. It seemed that Allah was a jealous deity, and his followers could be dangerous if they thought you had wronged him. She would keep certain thoughts to herself.

It was too bad, she would have to return to Sumeru, somehow. It wasn’t safe here. But, then again…where was it safe for Nahida?

“She said her parents are dead,” Farasha said, licking her fingers with the little wooden stick from the popsicle stuck in her mouth. “I was certain she had Triggered. She looks more like a parahuman.”

“Does she?” Bashir turned back to Nahida, frowning. “I might need to examine you, Nahida. Do not worry; I am a doctor, it is my job.”

She nodded, uncertain. That was something it was natural to tell an embarrassed child, but…there was something else. An implication? Nahida wasn’t sure.

She took off her headwrap and makeshift dress, and Bashir sucked in a breath.

“O merciful Allah, shelter your daughter in this time,” he muttered, though his heart wasn’t in the prayer. They were just words to him.

He let Nahida finish the popsicle, then took her to a room with a bed on it, and various tools for examination. He looked at Nahida thoroughly, even giving her something called an ‘x-ray’ that bombarded her with strange energy, but apparently let him see her bones. He drew some blood as well, and Nahida was embarrassed to admit she cried and flinched, even though he was very quick, as well as gentle and kind. It was more the thought of it than anything else, even though the amount of blood he took wouldn’t have been harmful to even a mortal child, let alone a god who could regenerate the blood even before it was gone.

“You definitely appear to be a parahuman, though I don’t have the tools fine enough to locate a corona pollentia,” Bashir told her. “That’s a development in the brain that indicates a parahuman over a Vision holder. Very interesting. This is a new type of Vision though, not…what did you say? Ah, Electro or Anemo. I have heard these terms before.”

“It’s Dendro,” Nahida told him. “The elemental energy of life.”

That was more than perhaps was strictly wise to say, but she felt guilty about lying earlier, and she really did like and trust Bashir.

“Is it? Fascinating,” Bashir murmured, not contradicting Nahida though she sensed some doubt in him. “I would like to study its effects…but…”

It was growing dark outside, and Nahida was curious herself. “Can people see the garden? From the street?”

“Hmm? No, but it’s almost time for evening prayers,” Bashir told her. “We should go to the mosque. Then perhaps a little gardening.”

Bashir had Nahida wrap her head again and put on a dress that covered her more completely, leaving only her arms bare. She resisted at first when he gave her a pair of Qiqi’s shoes to wear, always preferring to go barefoot. She relented when he insisted sternly, warning her that she would burn her feet on the, he called it asphalt? She thought it was the dark road, and that little girls should wear shoes.

“I’ll come with you,” Farasha said, coming out with Qiqi in her arms. She had put on a headscarf herself and was wearing a dark dress with red flowers embroidered on it instead of her other outfit.

Bashir smiled at her. “I would like that. It would be good for you to be seen at a mosque for prayers.”

“Well, I promise to at least move my lips,” Farasha teased, which made Bashir sigh, and Nahida suppressed a giggle. They seemed to like one another a lot. She did tend to think of open displays of affection as gross, like most children did, but she was also curious and fascinated by them, and tried to be mature about it.

The temple they went to had a dome-shaped top and a tall spire, and Farasha took Qiqi and Nahida to a different opening from Bashir, where only men and older boys were entering. The women went around to the side, to a separate chamber. The other women stayed away from Farasha and Qiqi, and Nahida by extension since she was with them, keeping their children away from the three.

“Sorry, Nahida. Looks like you’re a weirdo like Qiqi and me,” Farasha said, laying out the rug that she’d carried from the clinic. Nahida laid her own rug down, as did Qiqi, and both girls copied the motions of the others as they all faced a wall and said prayers to Allah.

Nahida didn’t pray, so much as try to reach out to the other god and get his attention. She sensed…something. What, she wasn’t sure, but she didn’t try too hard, being worried about drawing this stern deity's attention. Was he like Celestia or the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles? Nahida had done her best not to attract their attention and didn’t intend to change that. So she kept her spiritual voice quiet when she asked politely if anyone was home, and got no response. It was something of a relief, but also a mystery.

If a foreign god had cried out like this in Sumeru City, Nahida would certainly have heard them and answered.

After, Farasha left right away, and Nahida held Qiqi’s hand and led her long. They found Bashir talking with a man in a white turban with dark robes on. He too had on glasses and had a neatly trimmed beard, and was about Bashir’s age. By the way they stood so closely and how they touched one another as they walked, they were obviously very close. Nahida didn’t see any features that would indicate they were blood relatives, but that wasn’t always a certain thing.

“Ah, this must be the new lost one you have found, my brother,” the robed man said. He had a sense about him that he was a holy man, and Nahida surmised he was the imam.

She bowed to him, saying, “Peace be unto you, Imam.”

“And also with you, child,” the Imam said, a smile in his voice as he nodded his head to her. He turned to Bashir. “This one can speak, at least. You had me worried, Saeed.”

“There is no reason to worry, Taher. I make more than enough to care for one more mouth,” Bashir said with a smile of his own. He went over and put a hand on both Nahida and Qiqi’s heads, and it was…nice. A gesture of fatherly affection and love. Nahida subconsciously grabbed Bashir’s pant leg with her fingers and realized that Qiqi was doing the same, though she was looking ahead at nothing in particular.

“Hmm. But you do not take in lambs that are not lame.” Imam Taher turned to Farasha, and this time he scowled. “Peace be unto you, Hutah. It is good to see you in the house of Allah.”

“Oh, no need to play nice, Mohamad. We both know you’ll scrub the floors extra hard after my filthy self set foot in here,” Farasha said in chipper tones that dripped venom. Nahida hadn’t realized it had been possible to sound so polite and happy and yet be so acidic and hateful at the same time.

The Imam sighed and raised a hand towards Farahsa. “Blessings upon you, Hutah. Not every Imam thinks parahumans are a curse sent by Allah.”

She smiled, then skipped off, going to wait out in the street. An open space in the stream of people formed around her, and people subconsciously shied away even when they obviously didn’t consciously realize Farasha was there. Was Hutah a first name? Surname? Farasha seemed offended by it.

“That woman…must you bring her here, Bashir? I trust you, and have known you all my life, but…”

“As you said. All are welcome in the house of Allah. Even such as these,” Bashir said, nodding to the girls beside him.

The Imam looked down, and gave a sad smile. “Yes. Though she feels… Well. I trust your judgment. You would not allow a dangerous person near Qiqi. Peace be with you this evening.”

The Imam went off to talk with other men, and Bashir guided Nahida and Qiqi through the crowd. Many other men came to speak with Bashir, several of them with young women between the ages of 16 and 24, along with their wives in many cases. They made polite conversation, but by the way the women smiled at Bashir, even the ones who didn’t come talk to them, and how they glared at where Farasha was standing and juggling some rocks she’d picked up, Nahida realized they were attempting to court Bashir somehow.

He seemed, well, not oblivious, but politely ignored the efforts, even the invites to meals that the young women would be delighted to cook for him. At last they were out in the street with Farasha, who fell into step with Bashir.

“Qiqi tired,” the other girl said, tugging on Bashir’s pant leg.

He smiled and lifted Qiqi into his arms, where she looked at least a little more content than usual.

Someone suddenly grabbed Nahida and tickled her, making her gasp in delight, before she found herself swung up onto Farasha’s shoulders. She laughed and spread her arms wide, utterly delighted as they made their way down the road, back to the clinic.

There was a small set of apartments above the clinic, where Bashir prepared a meal while Farasha took Nahida and Qiqi to clean up for dinner.

“You’ll probably sleep in the same room as Qiqi, hope you don’t mind that, Radish!” Farasha said, gesturing to the room. It was painted sky blue, and had images of red and blue butterflies drawn in glorious colors on the walls. There was a corner where someone, definitely Qiqi, had scribbled with wax pencils on the wall, and no effort had been made to remove it. There was a dresser with neatly folded clothes that fit Nahida and Qiqi well, they were about the same size, and bins of toys. Real toys!

Dolls and figures with clothes, brushes, and even a small house to live in! Animals with soft skin or hard bodies of a substance Nahida didn’t know, and species she didn’t recognize at all! Books in Arabic and another language with very different angular letters, though they all had bright pictures. More wax pens and books with black and white drawings meant for coloring! Wagons and carriages with moving wheels, and something else.

A book, hidden in the dresser, with an image of a smiling girl with a dragon hovering by her shoulder, a sword in her hands, and an aura of power about her. But behind her…behind her was…

“Beezlebul,” Nahida whispered.

“Hmm? Oh! You found the book I got for Qiqi!” Farasha said brightly, coming over to point at the cover. “It’s about a little girl with powers, like you two! She’s-”

“Lightning Princess Ami,” Nahida said absently, flipping through the book and reading it. She paused, then went back and started from the rear. Apparently, you read it backward. So absorbed was she that she didn’t notice Farashaw gawking at her until she’d read several pages. Then she blushed and looked up. “Um, I like it. Is it alright for me to read it?”

“Where did you learn to read? Let alone English,” Farasha asked, totally mystified.

Realizing her error, Nahida blushed and lowered the book. “Um, I like the pictures?”

“I guess so,” Farashaw said, taking the book. She examined it, then pointed to one of the bubbles that had speaking in it. “What’s this say?”

For a brief moment, Nahdia considered feigning ignorance, but she decided against it. “<‘Ugh, I can’t believe Uncle Mushu grounded us, Jessica. We could totally help in the battle against Heartbreaker!’>”

Farashaw frowned and flipped the book over, her eyes scanning the page. “Fuck me if I can read this shit.”

Nahida gasped, her hands flying to her mouth, her eyes growing wide. She turned to look at Qiqi, who was standing there, half-dressed, not looking at much of anything again. Good. Maybe she hadn’t heard the Bad Words.

“Oh! Sorry!” Farashaw blushed bright red, and put a finger to her lips. “Don’t tell the Doc I said that, OK? I mean, what you said sounded like English to me. Oh! Come on, Qiqi, pull on your clothes.”

After getting Qiqi dressed and Nahida changed into evening clothes, they went and had dinner with the doctor. Nahida ate ravenously, asking for and getting thirds and even fourths of falafel balls, kebab meat, and vegetables from the garden. Qiqi ate quietly and only at Farashaw’s or Bashir urged her.

“Someone’s hungry,” Bashir said, shaking his head. “I should have fed you more than a popsicle earlier. I apologize, Nahida.”

She paused, carefully wiping her mouth with a napkin. “No, no, it’s just, I rarely have such wonderful food! Thank you, I was very hungry!”

“Hey, doc, by the way, what does this say,” Farashaw said, holding up Lightning Princess Ami, Volume 17, for him to read, to the same page that she’d shown Nahida.

He glanced at it, then said, “Ami is protesting that Mushu has grounded her and Jessica, and they can’t help Raiden against Heartbreaker.”

“No, in English. Say it in English,” Farashaw urged, and Nahida felt sick, and tried to hide under the table.

Bashir looked puzzled, but read, “<‘Ugh, I can’t believe Uncle Mushu grounded us, Jessica. We could totally help in the battle against Heart Breaker!’> Nahida, why are you hiding? Is something wrong? Did you give yourself an upset stomach?”

“Straight truth, she said exactly the same thing when she read the book,” Farashaw said, pointing to Nahida, who by now was crouching under the table and trembling with her arms wrapped around her knees.

Bashir’s chair scraped back, and he asked, “Really?” A moment later, his head appeared under the table, proffering the book to Nahida. “Can you read this?”

She debated internally for only an instant, before biting her lip nervously and nodding. “Yes.”

“Truly?” Bashir crawled under the table, though he was now dressed in robes instead of his nice clothes, so it was probably alright. Bashir lay down, scooting next to Nahida and pointing to the book. “Can you read this for me?”

Nahida nodded, and looked down, then hesitated. “Um, in English, or Arabic?”

“Can you do both?” he asked, clearly surprised.

“Yes…”

“Then by all means! Please do so!”

His enthusiasm was obvious, and as Nahida began to read, Qiqi crawled down next to her, looking at the pages of the book. Farasha joined them, and Nahida read several pages, first in the original English, then translating to Arabic on the fly. It was easy for her, of course, but both adults were clearly stunned at her display of linguistic skill.

After reading for a bit, Nahida looked up, nervous, and Bashir shook his head slowly. “Nahida, how old are you?”

That took some serious thinking. Hedging, Nahida asked, “What’s today’s date?”

“October the 27th, 2003,” Bashir asked, his brow furrowing.

“Then…” she swallowed. She figured out that this was the tenth month, though what the years meant was beyond her limited understanding right now. “It’s my birthday…I’m five.”

She didn’t mention that that was in centuries and single digits.

“Remarkable,” Bashir breathed.

“You’re a little smarty pants, aren’t you, Radish?” Farashaw laughed, and ruffled Nahida’s hair.

She smiled hesitantly, looking at Bashir to see his reaction. He looked astonished, and sat up, banging his head on the table. “Ah!” Rubbing his head, he winced and gave Nahida a sheepish smile. “Well, I wish I had known! I would have made a cake.”

“Cake?” Nahida gasped. A cake, for her birthday? A real cake?! She’d always dreamed of one!

“Cake!” Farasha declared. “Sorry kid, we’ll make one tomorrow.”

It was all too much. Nahida broke down crying. An instant later, cold arms wrapped themselves around here.

“Don’t be sad,” Qiqi said.

Nahida clung to the other girl and wept, even as two sets of warm arms wrapped themselves around her.

“Happy birthday, Nahida,” Bashir said gently. “Welcome home.”

“Let’s sing!” Farasha declared, and the adults broke into song.

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday Nahida

Happy Birthday to you.

“You smell like a radish, and you look like one too!” Farashaw added at the end, then tickled Nahida so hard she stopped crying and started giggling hysterically.

After that, Nahida was exhausted and started to fall asleep. She and Qiqi were put to bed by Farashaw and Bashir, where the two girls curled up next to one another. Before long, Nahida drifted off to sleep.

It was her best birthday, ever.

The Last Drop of Hope, Chapter 15

Exhausted, bloodied, and empty handed, Tina watched as the first hovertank pulled out of the Axel Security station, armored blackhats marching alongside it, drones hovering in the air above it. The sleek, black, ominous lines of the armored carapaces of all three gleamed dully in the neon lights of the city, and another tank rumbled off the transport, ready to be loaded.

“All this for a couple of little girls?” Claire muttered, looking confused and irritated as they stood outside the station. Her armor was scorched, as was her hair. Both of them had not come out of that exchange favorably. “Even for Crimson Demons, this seems a bit much.”

“It’s what’s happening in space,” Tina said with a heavy sigh. “We heard on the radio, remember? The Second Orbital War has kicked off.”

“We all knew it was coming. Damn ChimeraCorp keeping all the food to themselves,” Claire grumbled.

“YOU TWO! GET OVER HERE!”

At the bellow of The Chief, Tina and Claire both straightened and turned, saluting crisply despite their injuries. “Ma’am!”

Swatti stalked over, wearing her old power armor. It was an exo-suit that had several dark stains on it that at first looked like rust, but further inspection proved they were definitely not. The armor itself had dark green plating with a lime green underside and was emblazoned with Swatti’s clan marking, which consisted of an iron gray fist with the top half stained red with blood.

“You two girls look like hell,” Swatti grunted, looking down at the both with a frown. “Which is about what’s to happen here.”

“It’s war then?” Tina asked, feeling her heart sink.

That earned her a nod and a scowl. “Seems like it. I don’t know if that business in space started it or what, but it’s going to be bad. We’re fully mobilizing against ShopWiz. As you can see, the heavies are already here, and Santomon is staging on the other side of Axel.”

“Chief…they were just kids. Do we really need to fight a war to take the eyes of little girls?” Claire asked, sounding exhausted.

“You’ll shut up and do what you’re ordered. They killed our people, or did you forget? No? Good. Now. The CEO wants to talk to you.”

That made Tina and Claire both look around, feeling frightened. No one wanted to talk to Beldia. Besides he had a…reputation. One that Tina did find exciting, and perhaps at another time she would have been excited at the thought of being forced to perform lewd acts by her boss. Now though…now she wasn’t certain she wanted a part of this.

“I thought we signed up to protect people,” Tina said, meeting Swatti’s eyes. “Not to terrorize innocent civilians.”

Expecting a chewing out, Tina braced herself. Instead, Swatti’s eyes darted from side to side, and she licked her lips, sniffing the air with her snout. “Between you and me kid…I don’t like this either. Picking up perps and stopping gang wars is one thing. Fighting another corp, blowing up all the food…it’s going to be ugly, and without much honor. Now shut up and smile, because you’re my best, and the boss wants to see you.”

With that, Swatti turned and stomped off. Tina looked at Claire, who schooled her face into a neutral expression but nodded. Taking a breathTina put her arms around Claire and gave her a quick squeeze. She wasn’t surprised when Claire rested her head on her chest and hugged back in turn. But they could stand that way only for a moment before they broke apart and turned as one to face their next trial.

The Security Station had been completely overhauled. A number of walls had been ripped out, and the floor and walls had been given a hasty buffing that had left them clean and shiny, but with obvious scouring marks. High-tech monitors, processors, and other gear were everywhere now, as were blackhats in dark armor with heavy weapons, their faces obscured by dark blast masks with white skulls etched into them. Most of them were as tall or taller than Tina, and they stood absolutely rigid and motionless, not even shifting slightly.

It was eerie and unnerving, and Tina wondered if the rumors she had heard that the highest echelons of NyteTech’s elite forces were actually cyborgs, or even more disturbing, androids. There was no denying what Beldia was, however.

The CEO of NyteTech stood at the center of this new nexus of power, his hulking armor nearly scraping the ceiling. If his head had rested atop his shoulders instead of in the tank at the center of his chest, it wouldn’t have fit without hunching over. In addition to the cannons and missiles, he now had a massive black sword that he held by the pommel, blade touching the floor. Where it rested, a spreading puddle of rust and rot sprouted, as something about the metal tainted and corroded everything around it. Tina shuddered but snapped to attention and saluted.

“Sir! Officers Ford and Shin, reporting for duty!”

The cyborg CEO half turned toward them, the head floating around in the tank so that the baleful red eyes regarded them. “So. You are the ones that failed in their mission. Give your report. In detail.”

“Sir!” Tina barked, and trembling slightly, began to do just that, with Claire chiming in to provide details from her end. They spoke of loading up, following the trail of destruction, the bodies they found, and so on. To Tina’s surprise, Belida interrupted her as she was describing the injured operative she’d saved.

“Had he been injured with magic, or a weapon?”

“Magic?” Tina asked, feeling uncertain. “I…I’m not certain what you mean, sir.”

“You know perfectly well. Were the injuries caused by a weapon, or by powers you can’t understand or explain,” Beldia growled, taking a clanking step forward. His head was at eye level for Tina, and the rest of him towered over her.

“I’m not certain…” Tina said, looking up and shaking slightly. Would he pin her to the wall? Torture and violate her? The thought was distressing, but also exciting.

“Not sure about him, sir. But Ms. Wiz did some things I sure as hell didn’t understand, and so did the one they called Aqua,” Claire reported, standing shoulder to shoulder with Tina.

Belida shifted his gaze and frame. “So. You heard her name then. Describe her to me.”

“Blue hair, beautiful, shot water out of her hands, got frozen by Ms. Wiz,” Claire reported.

“She has returned,” Beldia muttered, his head floating away from them in the liquid, his gaze unfocused. “How? It’s been over 1,000 years…this should be completely impossible. But Wiz froze her… why?”

“I don’t know sir. We left when it was clear ShopWiz had the situation in hand. We were on their turf,” Claire explained. “What they did with those kids and Aqua…I don’t know. But I assume they put them on ice for…something.”

“Yes…so, it was Wiz you saw using magic then. Perhaps she’s recruiting Crimson Demons, trying to rekindle their magic,” Beldia muttered. “That would be a disaster. But Aqua…Wiz should have killed her on sight. Unless…unless the rumors about Sylvia are true…”

“Uh, what rumors, sir?” Tina asked, feeling lost.

Belida looked up, as if surprised to see them there still. “Ah. What of Axis Cultists? Did you meet any?”

“Cultists? From the Church of Serenity?” Claire asked, and she and Darkness shared a confused glance before turning back to face Beldia, who had stepped so close they had to resist the urge to lean away or step back themselves.

“What does it mean when I say, ‘You can run away from unpleasant things! That doesn’t mean you’ve lost!’?” Beldia growled, his red eyes boring into Tina and Claire.

Swallowing, Tina cleared her throat. “No offense sir, but it sounds like nonsense to me.”

“We know we lost, sir. You don’t have to rub it in. We won’t fail you again,” Claire said, sweat beading on her brow.

Beldia smiled and suddenly laughed, patting Tina and Claire both on the shoulders. “It is! Good, good. You’re still loyal, then. You know, I could use two knights with such… assets…as you.”

Tina flinched as cold metallic hands reached down and squeezed her rear, even though they didn’t do more than scrabble along armor, and when they trailed up to unfastened her armor. She shivered as Beldia fondled her breasts, then glanced at Claire and shook her head. Her partner was seething and looked ready to murder Beldia, but hastily wiped her face clean of expression when she saw Tina’s panicked look.

“I don’t even feel anything anymore, but I remember,” Belida chuckled, doing the same to Claire, which made Tina want to spit nails herself. “If I can capture Aqua, drain her mana…I could make new knights. I’ve looked at your service records. Impeccable. Beyond reproach. So very, very rare these days. Corrupting pureness such as yours…that used to be a hobby of mine.”

“S-sir?” Tina stammered. “If you must…take me, not Claire.”

“Ha ha! Yes, that’s it, exactly!” Beldia laughed, stepping back. “But I can barely raise a zombie these days, forget a higher level undead like a Death Knight. But with mana…Yes. Yes you would make excellent knights of mine. Just like Sir Tenlee here. I raised him, oh…1500 years ago?”

The blackhat in question turned his head, and raised his blastguard. Tina stared in horror. There was a skull, one decaying, rotting eye, and a hole from which a maggot wiggled. “I serve eternally, master.” His voice was like the rattle of bones in a dry tomb.

“You do, you do. Wouldn’t you two like to live forever? Ah, time enough for that later. Yes…one last goddess to claim…the ultimate prize,” Beldia laughed again, and pointed. “Go. Bathe yourselves, and come back wearing something lacy under that armor. We move out at 0900 hours.”

Feeling dirtier than she ever had before, Tina picked up her armor and scurried out with her face flaming red, with Claire right behind her. They dodged the now horrifying blackhats with their macabre masks, and made straight for their squad car, then headed straight home, hardly daring to breathe or speak. When they arrived, they tossed their gear in the corner, then headed for the shower.

“You first, or me?” Tina asked, pausing in the middle of stripping off her sodden and bloodstained undershirt.

“Get in there,” Claire said, shoving her forward, and Tina reluctantly complied, stepping into the small closet and turning on the hot water. She still couldn’t decide if being molested by Beldia turned her on, or horrified her, or both.

When she turned to close the door behind her, however, Claire slipped in as well. Her eyes were downcast, and she was hugging her arms to her naked chest, trembling slightly. “I don’t want to be alone. I feel…dirty, Tina.”

Feeling her heart in her throat, Tina nodded, and made space for Claire. It was close confines in their shower, especially since Tina was a giant of a woman and Claire wasn’t petite either: both were muscled and scared from years of service, with sturdy frames. Tina privately thought one of the reasons she didn’t have a boyfriend and wasn’t likely to get one was that she had the physique of a gorilla.

Claire didn’t keep her distance though, stepping into the shower and leaning her head between Tina’s breasts, much to Tina’s befuddlement. She knew perfectly well that Claire was a lesbian and more than complimentary of her, but this was far more forward than her lifelong friend had ever been.

“I need a hug,” Claire said quietly, her voice almost drowned out by the spray of the shower on her head.

Gingerly, Tina wrapped her arms about Claire, only for Claire to grab onto her and cling for dear life. She increased the pressure and rested her chin on Claire’s head.

“Tina. Are…are we evil?” Claire asked, looking up at Tina. Claire’s eyes were red, and it was hard to tell the tears from the water spraying on her face. “We work for a monster. We hunt children. That woman, Aqua…what evil did she do?”

Tina swallowed, unable to formulate an answer. Tears filled her own eyes. At last she managed, “I don’t know. But I don’t…I don’t want to end up like one of those…”

She couldn’t finish the sentence, but Claire jerked a nod. “If that’s what immortality looks like…I hope I die young.”

“Claire! Don’t say such things!” Tina chided, horrified.

“Why!? Who cares, Tina!? Who would care if I died? If the line of Symphonia was wiped out, once and for all?! Would the world be a better place?! What kind of protector am I, to make little girls scream and cry when I approach!?”

“I would care,” Tina said softly, putting a finger under Claire’s chin and lifting it up. Claire looked away and tried to lower her chin again, but Tina grabbed it and made Claire meet her eyes. “I’m your friend, Claire. And…and I…”

She couldn’t say it. She wanted, no, needed, Claire to be the one to take that step first.

“...I love you,” Claire whispered. Tina gasped and shuddered, but didn’t let go. She expected Claire to kiss her, but she didn’t. Instead, she turned her back. “Not…not anything more. Not now. Just…know that I love you, Lalatina Ford Dustiness. You’re the only reason I have to keep trying. But right now…I feel…so dirty. Please. Wash my back.”

Nodding, Tina did so, washing more than Claire’s back, but her hair, her arms, her legs, even…well, the rest of her. Then she let Claire do the same for her. They used an entire month’s worth of hot water and soap, and how they would pay for it was anyone’s guess, but they needed it oh so badly.

When they were both clean, Tina turned the water off and hugged Claire again. They stood there, shivering and dripping wet, feeling no less dirty when they’d stepped in it. No amount of hot water and soap could wash away a lifetime of sin and pain. Not this water, anyway.

“I think I might love you too, Claire,” Tina said quietly.

That earned her a snort. “I thought you weren’t a lesbian. You like men, don’t you? A big strong man, to spank you and call you a bad girl.”

“That’s…perhaps,” Tina admitted. She kissed Claire’s forehead and closed her eyes. “But you’re the only one I care about in the world too. If you’re the only person I protect…that’s alright. And, well…for you…maybe we should be more than friends.”

Claire laughed, and broke away, scrubbing at her eyes as she hiccuped and shook. “Hell of a time to say it! Why couldn’t you do this years ago? Now…now we’re both going to die, and, well..I just…I feel too dirty right now, Tina. Especially for you.”

Tina could only nod, her throat too raw to speak. She felt filthy as well. Normally, she didn’t mind feeling degraded. But right now…she felt worthless.

They dressed, then lay down for a short nap. They awoke only four hours later, but it was time. On a whim, Tina dug out their safe, and removed their amulets. She looked at hers, the winged shield of House Dustiness, a sigil she barely knew the meaning of, the house that had been broken and forgotten. She was a disgrace.

But, for the first time ever, she put the amulet on, tucking it under her undershirt. She gave Claire’s hers as well. “We may as well. I don’t think…I don’t think we’re coming back here, Claire.”

“No. No, I guess not,” Claire agreed, looking at her fiery blade pendant for a long moment. She held it to her forehead for a moment, then tucked it under her own shirt. They put on their armor, and went to their hovercar, getting in where they sat for a long moment.

“Well?” Tina asked, swallowing and looking to Claire

Claire put on her helmet, and strapped it down tight. “Well what? We still have a job to do, and people to protect. There’ll be a war. The people of Axel still need us. We’ll do what we can.”

Nodding, Tina put the car into gear, and lifted off into the air, heading for NyteTech Security Headquarters, tears running down her face. She held out a hand, and Claire took it, squeezing it tight.

Whatever came next…they’d do it together.

After the Battle of Farm 514, as it had been deemed, Aqua began to go around to various other farms and summon forth water that instantly caused the crops to grow. This time, however, she was a little smarter about it (or rather, Rain was) and bestowed classes and powers on the workers BEFORE the crops turned murderous when they ripened. Within hours, ShopWiz had harvested enough food to feed Axel for months, and had more clean water than had existed on the planet for years, as well as a formidable farming force. Which in Historical Belzerg was the same thing as a highly trained elite military force since farmers had always been the highest level and most powerful citizens in their communities.

On a normally functioning world, producing a few thousand tons of vegetables and providing clean water for a town would be seen as nice, or perhaps a mildly lucrative venture, and not a revolution. To the dying planet of Belzerg, it was enough to launch a new religion. To go from a hopeless, tortured existence dying slowly of toxic air and heavy metals in your food and water, or  quickly from being beaten to death and harvested for your organs or shot in a gang war, to  experiencing better food and water than you’d ever had before in your life, but also incredible new powers, well… to say that the reborn Axis Cult was full of Zealots was an understatement.

It would have been more than enough to provide the populace with clean food and water to ensure a rabid following. Aqua went beyond that. She healed the sick and injured, including what should have been terminal cancer or lost limbs. She created works of art almost by accident, painting a mural of the Battle Farm 514 during a lunch break with nothing but some paints she mixed with a few things laying around. So beautiful and striking was the mural that battle hardened mercs broke down and wet at the sight of it, swearing themselves to Aqua.

And of course, she raised the dead.

Samantha and the other casualties of Farm 514 were just the start. Aqua was taken to the morgue by an incredulous chief medical officer, where the recovered corpses of the NyteTech blackhat strike team were being autopsied. Megumin took one look at them, and turned to Aqua.

“Ok, look. Helping these Outsiders? Fine. ShopWiz is helping us and I get you need more followers. But you can’t seriously be thinking of resurrecting these guys! They literally have been trying to kill us, Aqua! What will you do if they come back to life and try to kill you again?! I’ll have to put them down, and we’ll be right back to where you started!”

Aqua bit her lip and looked at the bodies on the cold steel tables, covered with white sheets or lying there with their armor half cut off. Behind her, the head medical examiner argued with Rain.

“I respect what you think you saw, Director Rain, but what you claim is an utter impossibility! Those people were merely injured, and appeared dead! Rapid regeneration of wounds is possible, if expensive and difficult. But once brain function ceases, you cannot bring the dead back as anything but a cyborg puppet!”

“And I’m telling you that they were DEAD, Steven! I saw someone with their head cut off, stand up and walk away with no impairment of brain function!” Rain shouted, her face beet red and her eyes sparkling with passion.

“You exaggerate!” Steven the Medical Examiner turned to Aqua, his jowls trembling. “Look, I don’t know what stunt you pulled, or why Ms. Wiz believes your chicanery, but that will not pass in my medical office! Bringing the dead back to life is IMPOSSIBLE.”

Slowly, Aqua’s expression went from hesitant, to a pout, with her lip stuck out. She shot a glare at Megumin, then walked over to a table where an orc woman lay. Half her chest was missing, and she was clearly not only dead, but had been so for some time, the blood having congealed and rigor mortis already setting in. “Is she dead?”

“That one? Yes, obviously. I just examined her myself. We’ll pull out the tech in her and use it to improve our- what are you doing!?”

Screwing her face up, Aqua put a hand on the corpse and began running her fingers over the wound. Muscles and organs regrew, and even scratches vanished, and a tatoo of a bloody fist reappeared. In moments, instead of the nearly blown in half orcess, there was a whole body that looked like it was sleeping. Aqua pointed. “Is she still dead!?”

“How…” Steven went over and looked over the corpse, muttering. He got out a stethoscope and listened to the heart, then quickly hooked up some wires and did a scan with a full medical array. “Yes. No heartbeat, no brain activity. She’s not even a vegetable. She’s dead. Though how you repaired the tissue…I don’t…”

Aqua put a hand on the orc’s head. “Daughter of battle, be reborn! Resurrection!”

“MOMMY!” the orc screamed, and sat up, panting, her eyes wild. She looked around breathing heavily, confusion on her face. Steven met her eyes, let out a moan, and his eyes rolled up in his head. He fell to the ground with a loud thump, and lay still.

“What…where…YOU! You’re the one I was hunting!” the orc growled, her tusks trembling as she pointed at Aqua and Megumin, her eyes narrowed in anger. Megumin had Gram out, and was poised to strike, but the orc suddenly wilted, putting her head in her hands and weeping. “I was hit…the missiles! Hurt so bad, then I was…nowhere. I had no body! I wanted to scream, to cry, to beg, but I couldn’t! And then…and then a voice…it was…it was you! You called me back…”

Aqua nodded, putting a hand on the orc’s shoulders. “I did, but you have to promise not to try to kill me or my friends again, OK? I know orcs work for the Devil King, but-”

“Devil King?” the orc looked up, confused. “I work for NyteTech Security. I’m Brunhilda Swattisdotter. The Devil King is just a bedtime story.”

“But are you going to kill Aqua?” Megumin growled menacingly, her eyes glowing with a sinister light.

Meeting Megumin’s gaze, Brunhilda slowly shook her head. “No, I…she saved me. How…why? I was…I was your enemy…”

“I have no enemies,” Aqua said gently. “Not amongst mortals. I fight only evil. Are you evil, Brunhilda?”

The orc shook her head mutely, then slowly got down off the bed and knelt, wrapping the sheet that had shrouded her corpse about her like a toga. “Aqua…you…you’re what I’ve been looking for my whole life without me knowing it. I, Brunhilda Swattisdotter, swear to serve you faithfully for the rest of my days.”

“Then rise, and join the Axis Cult!” Aqua cheered, and helped the much larger woman to her hooves, handing her a sign up sheet. Brunhilda scrawled her mark immediately, then gasped.

“I…I am a Warrior! I am a Warrior of the Axis Cult!” Brunhilda roared. She grinned, then her expression suddenly fell as she looked around the morgue. “These men and women…they were my brothers and sisters in arms. Please, Lady Aqua…I know they were your enemies, but…please…”

“I told you, I don’t have enemies!” Aqua said, then turned and clapped her hands, just as Rain was helping a groaning Steven back to his feet. “Alright everyone, time to wake up! Nobody dies today!”

All at once, the wounds of the dead closed, and they all sucked in a breath, opening their eyes. There were various shouts and exclamations, and Steven could only goggle as Brunhilda went around passing out Axis Cult sign up sheets and proclaiming the glories of Lady Aqua. The goddess turned to him, an impudent grin on her face. “Well? Do you see now? Raising the dead is easy for a goddess like me!”

In response, Steven fell face first onto the ground, though intentionally this time. “You’re amazing, Lady Aqua! I worship you! All praise and glory to Lady Aqua and the Axis Cult!”

While that was happening, Megumin noticed that one suit of armor was still laying still in the corner. She nodded to it, and Komekko frowned at her. Together, they went over, then slowly raised the visor. The interior of the armor was nothing but burned out ashes, with not even bones left. Most of it was actually gone, and the chunks that remained were nothing but carbonized bricks.

“That was Maddie the Elf,” Brunhilda said behind Megumin, which made her jump and turn with a glare. The orc wasn’t angry though, just sad, and went over, putting a large green hand on the blackened helmet. “She got hit by three missiles at once. Not even enough left to fill an urn. Bad way to go. Lady Aqua, can you?”

Aqua looked divested, and began to cry, coming over to touch the helmet. “No. There’s no body. I can’t…without a physical body to tether her soul to this world, she’s gone completely. There’s nothing for me to rebuild. And…and if they’ve been dead for more than a day or two…the soul will pass on anyway, and I can’t bring them back.”

“So…is that how you lost the war? The CEOs destroyed so many bodies you couldn’t bring people back?” Megumin asked. This didn’t change anything for her really; she’d always known she was going to meet a violent end one day, all Crimson Demons did. She just wanted to cause as much damage as possible on her way out.

“No,” Aqua said quietly, more tears running down her face. “Gods can die too. And when we die…there’s no bringing us back. All my friends…my family…they’re gone. Forever.”

Brunhilda stiffened. “Then we must do everything we can to safeguard you, Lady Aqua! Let us become your elite Cadre of Bodyguards! I would give my life a thousand times to protect you!”

“That's my job, pig. Back off,” Megumin snarled, using Zephyr Step to put herself at eye level with Brunhilda.

If she had been expecting a fight, Megumin was disappointed, Brunhilda looked her over consideringly, then nodded. “You Crimson Demons are the best fighters in the world. Everyone knows that. If anyone can keep Lady Aqua safe, it’s you. You might be runts, but you beat us in a straight fight when we had you outnumbered. We will entrust Lady Aqua to you.”

“I…yeah! And you’d better believe it!” Megumin snapped, not used to anyone, especially not an outsider, trusting or respecting her.

“As for me…Lady Aqua, I have family back in NyteTech. Please, let me go to my mother and the rest of my clan. They should know that you live! That they fight for the wrong side!” Brunhilda pleaded, falling to a knee to put herself at eye level with Aqua.

“That sounds like you want to be a traitor,” Komekko said, flipping her knife in one hand as Hoost turned a baleful gaze on Brunhilda from his perch on Komekko’s head. “You know what we do to traitors?”

“Peck their eyes out!” Hoost cawed.

Brunhilda looked horrified. “No, never! I would rather die! But the world must know of Lady Aqua! I know if people just knew the truth, they’d see how amazing and beautiful Lady Aqua is, and worship her!”

“No member of the Axis Cult ever betrayed me! Not even Wiz, 'cause she was a spy!” Aqua bragged. She hesitated despite her words and licked her lips. “But, Hilda…if Beldia catches you…he can rip your soul out. Not even I can bring you back if that happens…”

“To save my family and clan, to spread the sacred word of Lady Aqua…I am ready to die. I already did once for nothing but filthy money. To die for Lady Aqua, how could there be greater glory?!” Swatti demanded, and the other risen mercs all roared their approval.

Hanging her head to hide her tears, Aqua nodded. “Then…then go. And know that I love you, each and every one of you. And it’s OK that you like to do that thing with the dogs, Karl. As long as they consent, all love is good in the eyes of the Axis Cult!”

Karl wilted as everyone looked at him. “I, uh…yes, Lady Aqua. I’ll um, get consent…”

“Great! Then go do it, because the Axis Cult gets things done!” Aqua cheered. The mercs shouted, then picked up their damaged gear and went off at a trot.

Aqua watched them go, and Megumin looked at her. “ You’re sending them to their deaths, you know.”

Aqua nodded miserably. “Yes. But…at least now…they have at least one drop of hope.”

Megumin considered that then shrugged. “No red from my eyes if some Outsider mercs die. And if they help take down NyteTech…good for us.”

Patting Megumin on the back, Aqua gave her a sad smile. “It’s OK, Megumin. We’ll find some hope for you, together. You’ll see.”

Then, as if she forgot to be sad, Aqua smiled and bounced off to throw a party for her new converts, even as her enemies closed in.

“Forget about tomorrow if it might be sad, and live for today! Take every moment for yourself to be happy, it might be your last!”

Foolish words in most times. But on Belzerg? A rallying cry of hope.

Work Smarter, Not Harder: Rule 34 with Arue P1 (NSFW)

For being the home of Megumin, the Crimson Demon Village had, so far, been rather ordinary. Granted, Kazuma had just arrived, but the buildings looked like a stereotypical quaint medieval village, with thatched roofed houses with whitewashed walls, and little gardens in front, complete with garden gnomes and goblins. Actually, on second look, Kazuma saw that they appeared to be monsters that had been petrified and shrunk, then dressed with cute little props.

Nevermind. This place was as weird and disturbing as Megumin was, and like her hid its true malice behind a cutesy exterior.

For now, Megumin had run off with Aqua and Darkness to get “prepared” for their meeting at the Red Prison. Kazuma wasn’t certain what kind of whack jobs the Crimson Demon Clan thought needed to be locked up, but they had to be dangerous.

Still, wandering around waiting for the two was at least amusing, even if Megumin had already shown him the Cat Girl shrine and so on. He made his way towards the Red Prison, half hesitant, half curious enough to wonder just what was locked up there. When he got close enough to see the sign outside the building, Kauzma stopped and put his head in his hands.

RED PRISON MIDDLE AND HIGH SCHOOL

Training the minds of tomorrow, today!

Of course. He should have known.

“Ah, who is this? A mysterious outlander approaches the most sacred of our institutions? What malign intent has led you here, I wonder?”

Spinning around, Kazuma pointed an accusatory finger. “Look, I don’t care what you’ve heard, I’m not a lolicon!” Then he blushed, as he saw the person he’d been accusing.

It was a girl who appeared to be a little older than he was, dressed in school robes with a black overrobe, and a pink undergown along with an orange and red necktie. She had on a red eyepatch, as well as a large purple bow in her curled dark hair. Her lipstick was dark, and her expression cool and collected. And she had what had to be one of the largest sets of boobs that Kazuma had seen on her somewhat petite frame. Seriously, those things were as big as Darkness’ while being only a little taller than Megumin.

The girl smiled at him knowingly and tapped at her lips with the nib of a dark quill pen she was holding in one hand. “Oh ho, then you must be none other than Kazuma Sato, the outsider man that Megumin has attached herself to.”

“Well, I uh, yes, she’s in my party,” Kazuma said defensively, frowning at the girl. He also just sort of stopped trying not to stare at her boobs. Especially when she started walking towards him, and they started bouncing. Apparently, Crimson Demons didn’t believe in proper support.

“I have heard you are a lascivious and rapacious man, Kazuma Sato. Tell me, in the dark of the night, is it your name that Megumin cries out amidst her throes of passion?”

That particular statement was weird enough that it got Kazuma to look up with a start and meet the girl’s eyes. “What? I’m not a- whatever those words mean. Because they sound pretty bad! And it’s not like that! We’re just party members! If she cries out anything in the night, it’s Explosion!”

A grin spread over Arue’s lips, and she whipped out a small black notebook, hastily scrawling down something. “Hmm, yes, that is good! An Explosion of love, the ultimate climax! So then, is it the noble yet buxom knight who’s heart you have stolen, or perhaps the cool and calm blue priestess who has tempted you away from Megumin’s crimson passions?”

“What?! No! Do you even KNOW those girls!? You might think this is some sort of harem rom-com scenario, but I assure you, it’s not! Yeah, in the stories a man in my situation would have three beauties throwing themselves at him and competing for him, but that’s not how it works, lady! And even if it was, why would I wanna date any of them!? Sure, they’re pretty to look at, but their personalities are a dumpster fire!”

“A…dumpster…fire?” the woman said, frowning and tapping her lips with the pen nib again. Kazuma realized she didn’t have on lipstick: Her lips were stained with ink, and so was her tongue. “That is a most evocative phrase. One that shows both the fires of passion and the refuse that has been tossed aside.”

“Uh, I guess. Anyway, no, I’m not dating or sleeping with any of the girls,” Kazuma grumbled. He glared at the woman. “Who are you, anyway?”

“Oh!” The woman started in confusion, pausing in the middle of writing something else down. She hastily struck a pose, putting the pen up by her forehead, and the book out to the side. “BEHOLD! I am Arue! Foremost Author of the Crimson Demon Clan, and she who has taken the literary world by storm!”

“Wait a second,” Kazuma said, his eyes narrowing. “You’re the one who wrote that weird letter that made Yunyun think she had to sleep with me! She came over and demanded to have my child, only to find out the village hadn’t been destroyed and there wasn’t a weird prophecy, it was just some Harlequin romance novel!”

“Oh, oh that is good!” Arue said, grinning eagerly and dropping her pose to hastily scribble in her notebook. “So, Yunyun, bereaved and bereft of all comfort, threw herself into the bed of Megumin’s lover to seek solace for her shattered heart, and to bear a child to carry on the village's legacy! And, when Megumin stumbles upon the two of you together, she tearfully declares that she has fallen in love with you as well! Then, she and Yunyun kiss, and declare that their fertile wombs must carry on the Crimson Bloodline! They agree to share you, and Megumin disrobes, offering her naked lily to your throbbing trumpet flower!”

Kazuma, who had been getting rather into this little fantasy, suddenly shook his head. “Wait, what?! What are you even talking about?”

With a start, Arue dropped her pen which had been racing across her page. She tried to hide it, but she blushed mightily, even as she drew herself up. “I, of course, am a romance author. Since you have never been with a woman, if you must know, I was describing the act of ultimate intimacy, when a woman’s blossom opens up, and a man claims it with his own turgid virility.”

“...I got that you were going for that, but what the hell is up with the flower metaphors? Do your parents own a florist shop or something?”

This time, Arue looked away and was completely unable to hide her blush. “...they are the foremost florists of the Crimson Demon Clan.”

“Right. Sure they are,” Kazuma said, bending down to pick up the pen.

Arue’s eyes flashed dangerously, and she snagged the pen out of Kazuma’s hand. “They are! All in the village proclaim that not only are they the most gifted at horticulture and that our greenhouse produces the most exquisite blossoms, but that their skill at arranging the flowers and casting preserving charms upon the arrangements are unrivaled! Why, when she was but a girl, it was my mother who traveled to the capitol to provide the bouquets for the wedding of Melarc Belzerg and Alice Dustiness! It was there she met my father, and, in their shared passion of floral arrangements, conceived me upon a bed of roses on the very night that the king and queen were wed!”

Kazuma gave her a flat look. “Yeah, that timeline doesn’t add up. I don’t know much about politics here, but I know the king has a son that’s like 20 or something. You look like you’re what, eighteen, nineteen?”

“...sixteen. I had my birthday last week,” Arue muttered, which earned her a start of surprise from Kazuma. She was only a year older than Megumin and Yunyun? Heck, she was a few months younger than him, instead of being years older like he’d thought.

“So, that’s a load of bull then,” Kazuma scoffed.

Arue whirled on him. “No! It’s a very romantic story! One of my first, and best!” She pulled another notebook out of her robes and shoved it at Kazuma. “I had to play around with the dates, and I cast my father as a Crimson Demon who was raised by Outlanders instead of being born and raised here in the village like the rest of us, because that wasn’t interesting enough! And yes, I know that lying on a bed of roses would be terribly uncomfortable unless it was just the petals since you’d be pricked by the thorns!”

Kazuma flipped open the book, expecting it to be nothing but prose so purple that it turned ultraviolet. “Yeah, I assumed it was just the petals.”

Moeruisen cried out, wrapping her arms about Sunappudoragon as his mighty stamen began to quiver-

Kazuma’s eyes went wide, and his face went flaming red as he realized he was reading about Arue’s parents making love. It was very weird, but also, kinda hot. Some of her prose was…odd, and after a bit, Kazuma realized something. He looked up at Arue, a sneer on his face. She glowered right back.

“What? Do you think to mock my story?”

“I mean, it’s fine, I guess, it’s just…you’ve never actually seen a penis before, have you?”

Arue went stiff as a board, and this time she went so red that Kazuma was surprised he couldn’t hear a kettle whistling. “I, of course! I-I have had many lovers! Both men, and women! So, of course I have seen a…a, ah, phallus before. I know exactly what it looks like!”

“Really?” Kazuma folded his arms and gave Arue a shit eating grin. “So, describe it for me, then.”

“It, um, well, it’s ah…” Arue made vague shapes in the air with her fingers and hands. “It is…so long, and, um, is tucked down the, er, trouser leg, and bunches up when aroused. It is, ah, of the shape of a…fish? And, ah, wiggles like one, to er, stimulate the partner?”

“Virgin,” Kazuma said with a snort. “You have no  idea, do you?”

“Oh? Then describe to me what female genitalia looks like, if you are so well informed!” Arue snapped, snatching her notebook back from Kazuma, still as red as if she’d been sunbathing for a week.

Shit. It’s always got that damn black bar or blur in all the doujins! Kazuma thought, going pale himself. “Well, obviously, I have-”

“Ah ha! You have never seen a naked woman before either, have you?!” Arue said, now going flush with excitement as she pointed her pen at Kazuma accusatorily.

“Well, Darkness walked in on me in the bath once, and I sort of got a look!” Kazuma protested. “And at least I don’t try to write smut without knowing the first thing about how it even works! Have you even seen a porno or read an H-manga?”

“A…what?” Arue asked, frowning in consternation. “I have not heard of this sort of literature before. Although…a woman walking in on a man who is in the bath…normally, it is the other way around…hmm…yes, yes that is most interesting…”

Arue began to write again, apparently completely forgetting Kazuma was even there as she scribbled something down. He looked at her, completely stunned, then a thought occurred. He tiptoed closer, peering over Arue’s shoulder as she wrote.

As she stepped into the bathhouse, Darkness sighed, feeling the aches and pains of the day's labors. Curse those damn kobolds! They had made her feel filthy! She needed a good, long hot soak. Stripping off her armor, she groaned in satisfaction, exposing her pale and tender flesh. Though she was a warrior, her body was unmarred with scars, and the dark circles of her breasts stood out against the milky white of her skin.

Casting aside her garments, she opened the door in a swirl of steam and stepped into the bath with a sigh. However, there was a splash, and she turned to see her adventuring companion and gasped.

There was Kazuma’s  wiry frame, his dark brooding eyes gazing at her. Though he was but a low-level Adventurer, his hard years of campaigning had left him whipcord thin, and his manly muscles stood out under the dark hair of his chest. He turned to her, scowling in surprise, and Darkness’s eyes were drawn down. She gasped.

“So, foreign men are given legendary equipment by the gods!” she gasped, as Kazuma’s mighty member swung from side to side.

“This paltry thing? Do not be afraid, fair maiden, it does not bite,” Kazuma said, and gave Darkness a wicked grin. “Save but for the tenderest of flesh. An orc once sought to claim me, but I proved too mighty, and when she impaled herself-

“Can you take that bit out, actually? I had a really bad experience with orcs, totally killing my boner here.”

Arue let out a squeak and jumped about two meters into the air, coming down with her notebook brandished like a shield before her face as she tried to hide. “Ah! You are, um, still there! What are you doing, peeking at a maiden’s private almanac?”

“Well, you were writing about me,” Kazuma pointed out. “I like the part about my mighty member. Megumin just made fun of me when she saw Lil’ Kazuma.”

“Megumin…s-she has handled your, ah, sword?” Arue asked, blushing and leaning forward until her nose was actually touching Kazuma’s. She was breathing hard, and her red eye was shining just like Megumin’s did when someone mentioned Explosion magic. “So, you two did share a night of passion! You claimed her maidenhead!? What was it like, your time together?! You must tell me!”

“You’ve got the wrong idea! I was dead, see, and Megumin doodled on me! When I went to take a bath after Aqua revived me, I found her stupid little message!”

“Oh…” Arue leaned back and looked disappointed. “That is disappointing. Although…what if it had been a magic seal she placed upon you that brought you back to life? And then, when your holy sword rose, she was unable to contain herself, and-”

“Will you keep it down?!” Kazuma said, clapping a hand over Arue’s mouth. “We’re at a SCHOOL! What if someone hears you talking like that?! They’ll think I’m a huge pervert and I’ll get sent to court and never be allowed within 500 meters of a school again and always have to introduce myself to the neighbors as a sex offender!”

“Ah, I see,” Arue said, considering. She nodded. “Come, I know where we can talk in private.” Taking Kazuma’s hand, she surged forward, and Kazuma let out an oof as he was dragged along. How was she this strong!? He was level 15, but she felt like-

Oh, right. Crimson Demon. High-level Archwizard. Stupidly high base stats. Damn cheaters.

Arue led Kazuma into the Red Prison, and through the winding halls until they came to a dusty wooden door at the back end of a hall. Arue took out a key and opened it, then dragged Kazuma inside, and shut the door behind him.

Within, Kazuma didn’t find the dusty old storage room he’d expected, but a cozy little office. There was a large wooden desk with a bookshelf above it, one that had nearly two dozen black notebooks on it, and another was sitting open on the desk itself, half filled with writing already. There was a fireplace that was cold and dark until Arue lit it with a word and a gesture, and then it blazed merrily. There were two overstuffed armchairs by the fire and more bookshelves filled with books with titles like “The Perilous Heart” and “The Boudoir of the Beast.”

Arue guided Kazuma over to one of the overstuffed armchairs and shoved him into it, then sat down in the one across from him and leaned forward, pen at the ready. “Now, tell me more of these romantic exploits of yours.”

“Have you been listening!? I haven’t actually done anything you’re suggesting!” Kazuma snapped, leaning back in the armchair and trying to sulk. It was actually extremely comfortable, which made it hard to be in a foul mood.

“Yes, but you keep telling me the most interesting stories. With just a bit of enhancement, I could easily craft a wondrous tale of romance and intrigue, where what should have taken place does, and your tales of sensual escapades become known far and wide.”

A light slowly went on in Kazuma’s head. “What, like a Dear Penthouse sort of thing?” When Arue gave him a puzzled look, he said, “Like I’m some sort of ecchi Harem MC.”

“Ah, yes, exactly! I have a copy of the Sacred Texts here!” Arue said eagerly and ran over to a bookshelf. There, she pulled out an honest-to-Eris copy of Golden Boy, Volume 3. She raced back over, holding it up to the gobsmacked Kazuma. “I cannot understand the words, but the passion conveyed on the page! I have several volumes of this work, though I am missing many of them. If I could learn to write like this, my magnum opus would truly be complete!”

Kazuma took the manga, looked at it, then back up at Arue. “You’ve read this and you still don’t know what a penis looks like?”

She blushed and looked away. “I, ah, I am missing those volumes. The ones I have…”

“It’s all blurred out, I get it, I’ve read these too,” Kazuma said with a shrug. He actually hadn’t read Golden Boy, but he had watched a couple episodes of the anime.

“You…you can understand the Sacred Texts!?” Arue gasped and ripped the book out of Kazuma’s hands. She turned to the first page and pointed. “What does it say?!”

“Uh, well, in the first panel, she says ‘take that,’ then there’s some onomatopoeia…”

Arue listened raptly as Kazuma read through the worn manga, pointing to each of the words as he read, and blushing slightly as he got to the part where the girls walked in on Kintaro while he was cleaning the bathroom, or when he had to explain that the hotel manager had set up a hidden camera and was running a peep show.

“I see, so this nefarious wizard has set up some sort of scrying mirror, and uses it to spy upon the carnal acts of these collage women?” Arue said thoughtfully.

“Uh, it’s college, not collage. They’re in school, not an art project,” Kazuma corrected, but Arue was ignoring him and was already furiously writing. Out of curiosity, Kazuma went over to peek at the paper, leaning on the arm of her chair.

The Dark Wizard Kazuma sat in his tower, his fingers running over his scrying orb as he spied upon Princess Arue. She was his one true love and desire, and his mouth salivated as he gazed upon her nubile flesh as she moaned in the shadows of her own room. Her left hand clutched at her breast, round and perfect, squeezing it, as her other stroked her secret place. Her midnight hair was strewn about behind her on the pillow, her porcelain skin soaked with sweat.

She was to be wed to another soon, a man she did not love and was giving herself the loving caress her fiance lacked. Kazuma breathed hard as he watched her perfect form, longing for her. He himself was nude, his broad shoulders hunched, his face screwed up with animal lust, his furry chest heaving with passion. His hands-

Arue stopped writing and looked up, making Kazuma jerk back and blush. “Do men…pleasure themselves?”

“Uh…” Kazuma’s eyes went wide, and he leaned back, nervous sweat breaking out all over his body. Arue leaned towards him over the arm of the chair, her red eyes glowing excitedly. She’d taken off the eye patch, and Kazuma found himself meeting her eyes despite himself.

“I have ascertained how a woman may minister to herself, and partake of it, especially after I have written something particularly brilliant. But I am uncertain, do men do the same?”

“Yes,” Kazuma squeaked, then fell over as Arue leaned over him even more eagerly.

“You do!? Describe it to me! Also, I must know what the male organ looks like! I have had to go off of incomplete sketches and vague descriptions! But for my work, my art, I must know the truth! Show me Kazuma Sato!”

“You…you want me to do what?” Kazuma gasped as Arue leaned down over her, a manic grin spread across her face. His gaze fell to her breasts once more, the tie hanging down so that it was lying on his chest. He looked back up to Arue and swallowed, and found she was blushing. Then she let out a gasp and fell on top of him with a thud.

“Ow!” Kazuma grunted, glaring at Arue and shoving him off of himself. “That hurt! You’re heavy!”

“Hmph. Will you show me or not?” Arue demanded, sitting up and fussing with her hair.

“Show you-?! Are you crazy!? If anyone ever heard, my reputation would be ruined forever! I’d be called a pervert forever!”

“So? Everyone already calls me a pervert, it is not so bad,” Arue said with a shrug.

A light turned on in Kazuma’s head. “Do you…Do you write stories about..uh…all the people you know?”

“Well, obviously not,” Arue said with a frown, and Kazuma heaved a sigh of relief. “I don’t have time to write about everyone. But all my stories star my friends. I recently went through my ‘yuri phase,’ where I wrote excessively of Yunyun and Megumin’s budding romances, as well as Funifura and Dodonko’s tempestuous and tragic tale of love and woe.”

Sniffing, Kazuma wiped away the blood that had dribbled out of his nose. “You uh…you wrote about Megumin and Yunyun…together?”

“Oh yes, that volume is…” Arue trained off, and a mischievous smile spread over her face. “You wish to read my writing?”

“Yes please,” Kazuma said, nodding eagerly. “I’ll give you 10,000 eris!”

“I do not want 10,000 eris. I want to see your, ah, manhood.”

“Seriously? You want me to flash you?”

“If you do, I will allow you to peruse my works,” Arue said loftily. She sat up and picked up her pen and notebook. “Now, shall we?”

“I, uh…you won’t, you know, scream, and call me a stupid pervert, and slap me? Because if you do, I believe in gender equality! I’ll drop-kick you right out that window!”

“What? Why would I do that? I have requested that you show me, have I not? Why would I demean and defame you? If you wish, I will vow that I will tell no one of what I saw.”

“Actually, I’d prefer you tell everyone that it’s the most massive dick you’ve ever seen in your life, that I’m hung like a horse, and that you personally envy any woman who gets to claim my virginity.”

Arue nodded and opened her mouth. “I so swear that I, Arue-”

“Actually, instead of that bit about claiming my virginity, what about you say instead that you think any girl who got to be with me was lucky? I uh, I don’t want it to spread around any further that I’m a virgin NEET.”

“Are you not employed?” Arue asked, confused. “I thought you were an adventurer, and a well-to-do one at that.”

“Well, I am, I even have a business where I sell Japanese designs to a shop, and I have a big payday coming! But everyone keeps calling me a NEET!”

“Ah, I understand. I am an author, yet everyone calls me a NEET or part-timer.”

“Well, have you published anything?” Kazuma asked bluntly.

That earned him a glare. “I will be published when I am ready! The world is simply not yet prepared for my genius!”

“Uh huh. Well, last chance. Do you really want me to whip it out or not?”

Arue nodded solemnly. “I will indeed tell everyone you have the largest, ah, penis, that I have ever seen.”

“And you also won’t tell them that it’s the only weiner you’ve spied?”

That caused Arue to cough and blush again. “Er, yes, I will not mention that part, and shall endeavor to imply I have seen many men in the nude, and you are merely the most well-endowed.”

“Deal.” Kazuma stood up and put his hands on the laces of his trousers, while Arue watched solemnly, pen poised to record. Then, he hesitated. “I, um, I’ve never really…you know…”

“Oh.” Arue blushed and coughed. “I, ah, I have also not…um, exposed myself. I have thought of it, and written of it, but, um, no. I have not done so. But please, I promise to be strictly professional.”

“Right. Professional.” Kazuma hesitated a moment longer, then slowly began to undo his laces as his thoughts raced. What if Arue laughed like Aqua had? What if she said ‘Oh, it’s smaller than I thought?’ What if she was disgusted? He swallowed and closed his eyes, and pulled down his pants. Only his underwear remained.

Shit, were they clean?! He’d changed before they’d left the house, and he had a spare pair in his pack, but after the orcs…he hadn’t wet himself, or worse, had he?! He glanced up at Arue, but she was blushing and holding her pen steady, her expression solemn. He took a deep breath. The yuri. Do it for the yuri. Squeezing his eyes shut again, he pulled his underwear down hastily.

“Ah, I see.” Then the sound of scribbling.

Slowly, Kazuma opened one eye. Arue was sketching in her notebook rapidly, and writing notes. Gingerly, he stood, glancing down at himself. “Uh, it gets bigger. Grower, not a shower.”

“Eh? What do you mean?” Arue looked up, clearly baffled at this.

“Well, uh, when I get excited, it, um, you know. Stands to attention,” Kazuma explained.

“Truly? Could you become excited, that I might observe this phenomenon?” Arue asked, scooting closer.

“Well, I uh, it only does that if I’m, you know, in the mood.”

“Oh, I see, you must find me unattractive then,” Arue said, looking back down with a sigh.

“What?! No! You have a rockin’ bod! It’s, just, uh, cold in here. And, well, I mean, I’m the only one naked.”

“Ah, then I understand the problem.” Arue set aside her notebook and pen, then stood up. “Perhaps this will help.”

Kazuma’s jaw dropped as Arue let her black robe fall from her shoulders, then took off her necktie and tossed it to the side. Then she began to undo the buttons on her top, and Kazuma saw for a fact she was not wearing a bra. He let out a gasp, and it was almost painful how rapidly he rose to the occasion.

On hearing that, Arue paused, only the top two buttons undone. Her eyes went wide, and she gasped. “Oh! It does get bigger!” She lowered herself to her knees, tilting her head to the side as she regarded Kazuma. “Hmm, yes, it has greatly increased. Will it continue to do so?”

“Er, no, think I maxed it out,” Kazuma gasped, feeling nervous again.

“Hmm, I wonder-” Arue reached out, and touched Kazuma, causing him to groan.

It was at that moment the door slammed open, and Kazuma let out a high-pitched scream as he tried to cover himself.

“There you are, Kazutrash! Hiding in- ARUE!? KAZUMA!? WHAT ARE YOU-” Megumin gaped at both of them, as behind her, Darkness gasped and covered her mouth.

For her part, Aqua peered around Megumin. “Huh? Oh, there you are Kazuma. Who’s that? Oh! I see. Come on, girls, he’s busy. Good luck, Kazuma! She’s cute!” Then Aqua hauled Megumin back and closed the door behind him.

For a moment, Kazuma could only stand there, frozen, trying to cover himself, his mind utterly blank. His life was over, finished. He was doomed.

“Ah, I see.” Arue looked up at Kazuma, and put a finger to her chin, considering. “They shall assume we were making love, or about to.”

“Y-yeah,” Kazuma said, wilting spiritually and physically. “S-sorry. I guess your reputation is ruined…I’d say mine was too, but I never had much of one…”

“Yes, I fear you are correct,” Arue sighed, and looked down.

Feeling utterly dejected, Kazuma began to pull up his trousers as Arue stood up. He was about to do up the laces again when he saw Arue’s dress hit the floor. He looked up in astonishment and saw that Arue was now naked, save for her panties and stockings.

“What…what are you doing?!” he squeaked.

Arue shrugged, which did interesting things to her anatomy. “They have already decided in their minds to give us horns, should we not at least earn them? It will do my research good to have some experience to draw upon.”

“I, uh, I…” Kazuma relaxed his grip, and his pants fell back down, his mind once more blank.

Arue nodded. “Good, take off your shirt too. I wish to examine you closely.”

“I, uh…sure?” Kazuma began to do so, and Arue reached to pull down her panties. “Wait!”

She hesitated, blushing and biting her lip. “Ah, yes?”

“C-can I do that? I, um…I’ve always wanted to take off a girl’s panties…”

“Oh! Yes, of course. This is a chance for your research,” Arue said, flushing and standing up. She covered her breasts with her hands, then looked down and saw what she was doing, and deliberately lowered her hands.

Slowly, Kazuma knelt. With trembling hands, he gently lowered Arue’s panties. They were purple and lacy, with a little pink bow on the front. When they were down to her knees, he gazed at her, awestruck for a moment. It was hairier than he’d thought it would be, but…

“What’s with the bar code?” Kazuma asked, pointing to the markings right on Arue’s inner thigh.

“Oh, that?” Arue kicked off her panties, then held her leg up to show the mark. “Crimson Demons all have this sacred mark upon their flesh in an intimate place. I hear outlanders do not? Let me see. Here, let me take off your shirt.”

Numbly, Kauzma held up his arms for Arue to pull his shirt off his head, then he kicked off his boots and pulled off his socks. He stood, and Arue walked around him, her finger tapping her lips.

“Interesting, interesting. So it is true, no mark.”

Kazuma swallowed, and studied Arue’s body. She was slender, though her hips were definitely pronounced, and her breasts simply giant. “Can…can I touch…?” he cut himself off. How could he even ask such a thing?

“Yes, let me finish first though,” Arue said and began to run her hands over Kazuma’s chest, arms, and legs, making him gasp and shudder. “Ah, you are firmer, harder than I thought. Interesting how your face and arms are tanned, but the rest so pale.”

“I, uh, I guess I do have a bit of a farmer’s tan…”

“Ah! So that is what that meant! Yes, it is very striking, I like it! Farmers are strong, virile people. No wonder it is so fashionable to emulate them.” She placed a hand on Kazuma’s chest and stroked it, then ran a finger of his nipples. “Odd, I have long wondered why men have nipples, when they have no breasts and do not give suck as a woman does. You are also smoother than I expected. I had read mostly of hairy men, yet you are not, save here, and here.”

She touched his armpits and groin, which made Kazuma let out an involuntary giggle. “Uh, sorry, ticklish. And, um, I’ll probably get hairier as I get older. I’m only 17, actually…”

“Ah, I see, this makes sense, as it is only older men who grow beards,” Arue said, nodding astutely. Then she spread her arms. “Now, you may explore me as you wish.”

Kazuma glanced at her, met her eyes, and reached out with both hands to grab her boobs. She let out a moan and shuddered, and he jerked his hands back. “Oh! Uh, sorry…”

“No,” she rasped, and grabbed his hands, putting them back. “Do that again. Harder.”

Kazuma felt himself growing increasingly excited as he ran his hands over Arue’s soft skin. She was pale all over and clearly didn’t get outside much. On an impulse, he grabbed her face and pulled him to her, kissing her. She put her hand on his chest and kissed him back. When they broke, they were both gasping, and Kazuma felt like he was on fire. He grabbed Arue, grunting as he picked her up, and she let out a gasp of surprise. “Oh!”

But Kazuma needed her now, and he took Arue over to the chairs and laid her across both of them.She looked up at him, wide-eyed, and as he moved over her and straddled her, she opened her legs. There was some grunting and adjusting until Arue let out a cry.

“Ah! No, not like this!”

“Uh, sorry, I, um, I-” Kazuma hopped off and backed away. He was stupid! So stupid! No girl would ever want him, especially not one so drop-dead gorgeous as Arue! There was no way she-

Arue pulled the cushion off one chair, then the other, and threw them on the floor, then flopped down on them. “There. Now, hurry! I want you, Kazuma! Send me away on clouds of passion!”

Kazuma didn’t need more encouragement. He eagerly knelt on Arue, and there was a great deal of fumbling about.

“Uh, here?”

“Ah, no, I do not believe so. Uh, here, I think?”

“Oh, yeah, I uh- OH!”

“Ah! AH!” Arue bucked and winced, and Kazuma started as she bit her lip and hissed in pain. To his horror, when he looked down, there was a trickle of blood. But when he tried to pull back, Arue locked her legs around him. “No. It is well. This happens to a maiden. My mother told me this much. Now. Make love to me, Kazuma,” Arue demanded in a throaty voice, then kissed him.

It did not, in fact, last long, and was closer to some crude rutting with the cushions flopping all over the place and Arue ending up with her head on one and her toes on the other. But she bucked and cried out at about the same time Kazuma did, and when he pulled out and flopped over, she scooted over so he could rest his head on the pillow next to hers.

Tentatively, Kazuma touched Arue’s hand with his fingers, and she instantly grabbed on and wrapped them around his. They turned towards one another, stupid grins on both their faces. They stayed that way for several moments. Then Arue got up, put her hair back in the bow that had come loose at some point, Kazuma hadn’t even realized it had, and still naked, went over to the desk and began to write with a fury and a passion.

And so, Kazuma sat there on the cold floor, sweaty and naked. One thought went through his head.

Well, shit. Now what?

The Second Archon War, Interlude 2

Interlude 2: Broken Strings

The streets of the small town were quiet. Nothing moved, nothing made a sound save for the patter of rain, and the soft tread of boots. Swallowing, Lady shined her flashlight into the broken glass of the dollar store window, seeing only the cardboard cutout of a grinning deer in a suit looking back at her. She shuddered, playing her light over the scattered merchandise on the floor. There was something missing though: food. The shelves where cookies or candy should have been were completely bare.

Did the residents fort up and hide in a shelter somewhere? she thought to herself. She shivered in the cold rain, and kept looking.

Lady and her PRT assault team had been called to the small town of Ellisburg when all communication from the town had stopped. Camera drones sent in showed nothing, and the county sheriff who’d come to investigate had vanished, along with a dozen police officers. At this point, it was clear there was a serious problem, and the PRT had a good idea of who was responsible. One James Rinke.

The man had been a quiet investment banker, until he’d started a series of robberies. There had been other strange occurrences, pets going missing in the preceding days, odd creatures sighted. It was suspected Rinke had become a Changer, and was shifting his form. How he’d caused the blackout was unknown, but there was probably some Trump power involved as well. So far, no contact had been made with the town, but now a team of capes from PRT Toronto were there, along with three assault squads. Their orders were simple: find Rinke, and stop him. Dead preferred over alive.

The PRT team continued to make their way through the empty town, with not so much a moth or fly moving. It was earlier, and everyone was spooked. No one had heard anything out of Ellisburg in days. “Holler, anything on Thermals?”

“It’s cold. Rain isn’t helping. I’m not getting- wait. There’s movement! Three tangos, moving fast across the rooftops!”

“Rinke?” Lady asked, her pulse pounding as she raised her rifle.

“Not sure, he’s a Changer, but who the other two are- CONTACT!”

The PRT team opened fire as the shadows flipped off a rooftop. The foremost one suddenly split into a dozen different dark figures, and Lady swore, firing wildly, but it was no use. The figures moved faster than the human eye could track, and the next thing she knew, she was on the ground, a blade at her throat.

“Could you do me a favor and not move? I’m really too tired for all of this…it’s past my bedtime,” a female voice said, then finished with a loud yawn.

Blinking, Lady looked past the giant sword at her throat to see the shadowy outline above her. It was the size of a child, though the weapon was one of the largest that Lady had ever seen. A Brute of some sort?

“We are not your enemies,” another voice, this one also female said, though this time with an accent that sounded Asian to Lady. “This place is dangerous. We seek a god. Do you too seek the Lord of Anemo?”

“Fuck off, we’re PRT. Who the hell are you?” the captain growled, then swore when the dark shape above him pressed a sword closer to his throat. “Shit, lady, how did you cut through this armor?”

“All you need know is that we too seek James Rinke. If we find him, we shall end him. We may work together in this,” the second voice said again.

“Can we just get this over with?” the little girl with the sword to Lady’s throat whined. “How am I ever supposed to grow if I keep staying up so late?”

“Who are you? Rogue capes?” Lady demanded, trying to get a clear look, but unable to in the darkness, the rain further obscuring her vision.

There was a sudden green glow at her attacker’s waist, and the scene was illuminated. Three figures, a tall woman, a bulky man, and the girl with the giant sword, had knocked down the entire PRT squad, though no one appeared seriously injured. The three capes, they had to be capes, were dressed in dark clothing all, and they looked like-

“Ninjas?” Lady blurted. “We got hit by fucking ninjas?”

She couldn’t see the face of the girl with the giant sword, but by the way she tilted her head, she was smirking. “Yep. So you better watch out, ‘cause I know Spin-jitsu!”

The girl was dressed in what looked like dark brown ninja robes, a mask obscuring her face and a hood over her head. The hood, however, looked like a raccoon, with cute little ears hand sewed on, and two felt eyes that looked sleepily down at Lady. There was even a raccoon tail poking out of the seat of her trousers, and a cute raccoon charm hung from her belt along with a glowing green gem.

“Vision,” Lady breathed. “The new kind. Shit.”

They’d been briefed on these ‘Wind Visions’ that had been popping up in the past week or so, though not much was known beyond that appeared to have some striking similarities to the purple electrical ones, though there were enough differences that the nerds were still arguing over the whole thing. What mattered was this girl likely had a broad powerset that was Wind based, and that she was freakishly strong thanks to the Vision.

“Stand down, team,” the captain said, then glared at the tall woman. “I know you. Kokusho, also known as Black Kaze. The fuck are the Japs doing here?”

“That is not your concern. Will you work with us or not, American?” Kokusho demanded, her katana still at the captain’s throat. Her ninja costume was the stereotypical black, though her hood had a black dragon’s head on it, with glowing purple eyes.

“We’ll work with you. Though why the fuck do you want Rinke dead? All the same to me if he bites it, I have a feeling he did some nasty stuff here,” the captain grunted.

Kokusho waited a moment, glancing at the last member of her team. The man was broad-shouldered and muscular, with a bow he had trained on the other members of the squad. His outfit was a dark blue, with a shark fin and teeth painted on the mask and hood. He nodded and said something in Japanese.

At his word, Kokusho lifted her blade away and sheathed it, while the Vision Holder lifted her giant sword. “That’s good, I didn’t want to have to kill PRT troopers. You’re basically good guys.”

Lady slowly stood, then glared down at the little girl, who was leaning on her weapon. “Didn’t you mean ninjitsu?”

“Nah. That’s boring! I’m working on a brand-new martial art! I’ve only had my Vision for a few days, but I’m already super awesome!” As if to demonstrate, she suddenly curled into a ball, and her sword vanished. She then proceeded to zip around the group by rolling in what looked like a hamster ball made out of green energy.

“Tanuki! Still yourself,” Kokusho barked.

The little girl popped up out of her ball, though she had to wave her arms wildly to steady herself. “Fine. This place is creepy though. Can we go already?”

“Our mission is yet unfinished. We-”

There was the sudden roar of gunfire from across town, and heads whipped around in that direction. The radio crackled to life, filled with static and more gunfire. “Hostiles! Multiple Hostiles!”

In a blink, Kokusho was gone, a trail of shadowy figures behind her, blade already drawn.

Lady looked to her captain, weapon at the ready. This was going to go south, fast.

“Enemy. There,” the male ninja said, pointing his bow. A figure was lurching towards them, a tall, massive shape that emitted the faint tingling of bells. Lady turned her flashlight on the figure, and the grotesque sight that greeted her made her blanch in horror. The thing was dressed in motley, with loud colors in a chequered pattern. The mask it wore had a rictus grin on it, and dark holes were where eyes should have been. The thing turned towards them, and Lady could see it was dragging a heavy sack made of what looked like pale leather. She nearly vomited. She’d seen enough horror movies to know what the likely source of the leather was.

“Light it up!” the captain roared, and the entire squad opened fire. An arrow sprouted from the thing's head, jerking it back, and then forward like a jack-in-the-box. Lady made sure to spray down the thing’s feet with foam, then lobbed an incendiary grenade at it, enveloping the horror in flame. That was the protocol for Changers, and she was taking no chances.

“Spin-jitsu!” With a flash, the girl spun forward, around Rinke, right into the flames. Lady cried out in shock, surprising herself. She typically hated capes, but this one was a kid. A kid who’d put a sword to her throat, yes, but still a kid. Then she watched in shock as the green wheel caught on fire, then summoned up a swirling vortex of flames around Rinke. He gurgled and hissed, and the smell of cooking pork filled the air.

Then the girl spun away, popping out of her burning wheel, the flames and wind vanishing. She stumbled to the side, and vomited. “S-sorry, sensei. It’s not the spinning, it’s just…”

The big man went over and crouched down, rubbing the girl’s back as she spat up more bile and wiped her mouth. He said more in Japanese, which made her sigh.

“Arigatōgozaimasu. I just… I never helped kill anyone before, you know?” she moaned.

The captain lifted his radio and spoke. “Blue team, what’s your status? Over!”

The gunfire was sporadic now, and a relieved voice spoke. “You’ll never believe this, but a goddamn ninja just showed up and saved our asses! There was this horde of zombie…things…that swarmed us! Thought we were all dead, Calvert went down, probably bought the farm. But then I swear to fucking God, Black Kaze came and is killing them all! It’s like there’s a thousand of her! Fuck, I don’t think Mover 7, Striker 8 is high enough for her! Over!”

“Oh hell,” the captain breathed. He slammed the button on his radio. “We have a Master Bio Tinker! Out! Everyone out! Fighting retreat! Get the choppers in!”

There was a shuffling sound from the dollar store, then the tinkle of broken glass. Lady looked as more horrors advanced on them, some at a run, others at a shuffle. They were all shapes and sizes, from grinning dwarves the size of children to beasts with lolling tongues and sharp claws to more bloated horrors like the first.

“Shit!” Lady shrieked and fired off an incendiary grenade as she hastily backed away.

“Hey, lady! Light me up!”

Lady turned at her callsign to see the Vision holder girl, no longer vomiting, once more form that whirling green ball. Realizing what was needed, she fired her last incendiary at the girl. The round exploded in the green vortex, and once more it turned into a ball of fire. The girl raced around like, well, like Sonic the Hedgehog if Lady was being honest, only if Sonic was a pyromaniac. Great circles of flame formed around the team as they hastened back, keeping off the horde of oncoming horrors.

“My pets! My creations! What are you doing to my children!?”

Lady turned to see none other than Rinke himself, hopping from foot to foot, a cloth crown flopping atop his head. A bow snapped, and an arrow struck the madman, then pinged away harmlessly. The big ninja swore under his breath in Japanese and put another arrow to the string. This one crackled with lightning, but when it hit Rinke, had no more effect than the first, or the shots that the team fired.

“You think you can slay me so easily!?” Rinke cackled. “I am a god!”

A black shadow with a raised sword appeared behind Rinke. “Then you are the one I have come to slay.”

“Wha-”

Rinke didn’t even have time to turn before six more clones of Kokusho formed around him. All began to hack away with their blades. He wailed and flailed about, and the horde of creatures turned, all going to defend their master. Whatever armor he had though gave way. It might have resisted arrows and bullets, and even the first few blows of the Black Wind’s blade, but her sword trailed smoke and shadow and began to carve through Rinke’s costume. He screamed one final time, then went down in a spray of blood.

“BURN HIM!” the captain bellowed, and all the remaining incendiaries were launched at Rinke as he moaned on the ground. He let out a gurgling scream as the flames licked at him, then went silent.

Beside Lady, the big ninja suddenly screamed as the horde turned back on them, a giant spine sprouting from his chest. He fell with a gurgle, and a moment later, the captain shrieked as acid bit at him. Then a little creature with spider-like legs but an all too human face latched onto Lady’s back and began to bite at her. There were too many! She-

Black Kaze was there, carving through the horde, ripping the monster off of Lady. There were dozens of her clones, hundreds, all striking with fury. Then a chopper appeared above them, hosing down the area with gunfire.

“I got you, I got you!”

Lady looked up, dazed, as Tanuki appeared at her side, hands glowing green. “Winds, bring healing!”

A strong breeze wrapped around Lady, and she gasped as her wounds were knitted together. She managed to stagger up, looking around in a daze. The captain was up too, supporting the big ninja on his shoulder as he fired.

“Come on, we gotta get out of here!” Tanuki urged, and they struggled towards the chopper, which had dropped a rope ladder nearby. Lady was barely able to haul herself up it, before collapsing, panting on the metal floor. Moments later, the rest of her team was there, as were Tanuki and the big ninja.

“We’re out of here!” the captain bellowed. “Rinke’s dead! We’ll need to send in the heavy hitters to wipe this place out!”

The chopper turned, then roared away. Lady managed to sit up, taking off her helmet and sucking in a breath of cold air. Beside her, Tanuki curled up, clutching her tail and shuddering as she quietly cried.

Hesitantly, Lady reached out a hand, then rubbed the girl’s back. “You did good, kid. Thanks.”

Tanuki sniffled, then nodded. “I…all those people. They were already dead, weren’t they?”

“Yes,” Lady nodded solemnly, feeling sick herself. “The whole town. Five thousand people.”

“Lady Raiden watch over them,” Tanuki whispered, closing her eyes as tears ran down her cheeks. She really was just a kid, no more than middle school-aged. “Never thought my first mission would be so bad…are they all like that, Miss?”

“Call me Emily,” Lady said with a sad smile. “No, that was definitely the worst I’ve been on. But bad? Yeah. They’re all bad. The world is full of twisted, evil monsters.”

Still sniffling, Tanuki sat up, and leaned against Lady to her surprise. “W-well, it’s the Shuumatsuban’s job to stop them then, I guess.”

“That’s what you call yourself?” Lady asked, filing the information away. There was going to be a very interesting debrief back at base.

“Uh, can you forget I said that, please?” Tanuku snuggled even closer to Lady. “I’m going to take a nap now. Wake me up when we land…”

Then, to Lady’s shock, the girl started snoring. Slowly, Lady reached over and lowered the girl’s mask. So young. Hard to imagine that a kid like this had just saved Lady’s life, and the Captain’s too. She accepted a space blanket from one of her squad and draped it over Tanuki’s shoulders. Despite herself, she smiled.

Maybe not all capes were that bad.

Author’s Note

Technically, Nilbog should have triggered in January 2001, but I’m going to say enough has changed that he triggered nine months later. Additionally, yes, Black Kaze’s powers work differently. Raiden “fixed” her, much like she did for Lung. She now knows Shadow Clone no-jutsu. Probably because Raiden has been reading Naruto.

For those wondering, that is indeed Sayu. She’s Japanese by birth, but raised in America, which is why she mostly speaks English at this point. She received her vision when her family moved back to Japan following Raiden’s reforms, and she gained her ambition of growing taller, as well as the loss of all her friends from America.

Now let the poor traumatized baby sleep.

Dark Legend of Potter, The Man From Azkaban 1

After many long weeks at sea, the HMS Tireless was heading home to her base at HMNB Clyde in Scotland. The Trafalgar Class attack submarine had been on patrol in the Baltic, and her captain and crew were more than ready to be home. Their track home was a bit circuitous, taking them only a few miles off the coast from Scarborough. They were traveling at a depth of 40 meters, with nothing ahead of them but a few days to go up around the northern coast of Scotland and then back down to their home port.

The Captain, Travis Bently, had been a submariner for most of his career and had spent most of that playing games with the Russians. With the fall of the Soviet Union, his job had gotten not only easier but far more boring. Not that he was complaining. Keeping track of Russian boomers was professionally satisfying, but having fewer of them in the water helped him sleep at night. He was currently standing on his bridge, enjoying an early morning cup of tea while he stood watch.

Right when he was taking a sip of tea, the entire submarine shuddered and shook as if it had been struck by the hammer of god. Alarms blared, and several men fell over. Captain Bently himself spilled his cuppa all over himself, the scalding liquid making him swear.

“What the bloody hell happened?” he roared, shaking the liquid off his hand. “That felt like-”

“We’ve got damage all over the ship sir! That, that felt like,” his helmsman swallowed, then said in a whisper, “Like a bomb going off…but at this depth…”

Feeling his blood run cold, Captain Bently called for damage reports. The ship itself hadn’t been struck, and it had just been the one hit. At this depth though, for a blast to be powerful enough to shake the submarine from the surface, it would have had to be monumentally powerful. Like a nuclear strike.

A quiet and urgent conference was held with the ship's officers. They were not a ballistic missile sub, but they were trained to hunt them. They decided to rise to periscope depth and radio in, praying that they would find that Scarborough hadn’t been hit by a Russian warhead from one of the same submarines they were supposed to keep track of.

To their horror, there was a mushroom cloud, not more than a kilometer away from where they came up. They hastily called in and were relieved to find out that global nuclear war hadn’t broken out. Still, it was ominous to look up at that fading omen, knowing what could have caused it.

If they’d known what actually had, they would have been much more frightened. As it was, they missed the two teenage girls, one carrying the other, who booked it away from the Scottish coastline. Or the wizard who popped up next to them in a towering fury.

DARK LEGEND OF POTTER: THE MAN FROM AZKABAN!

“Yunyun, stop right there!” Tonks bellowed, leveling her wand. “And put down Megumin! Hands where I can see them!”

“M-Miss Tonks!” Yunyun stammered. “Er, what are you doing here? We, um, we were just out for a walk, and-”

“Did you see my Explosion!?” Megumin demanded, jerking her head in the direction of the fading mushroom cloud, and also completely ruining any remote chance at denial. “It was one of my most impressive! The tidal surge alone-”

“Will show the bloody muggles that SOMETHING just happened, and I don’t think we can claim it was just a gas leak this time!” Tonks ranted, plucking Megumin off Yunyun’s back by her collar and holding the girl up to glare at her. While Yunyun was getting that lanky look that came with a teenaged growth spurt, Megumin was still a short little gremlin, though she too was all arms and legs.

“How did you know where we were?” Yunyun asked, blushing and not bothering with further prevaricating. It would have been pointless even if Megumin had kept her mouth shut anyway.

“Because I bloody well came to save you and warn you!” Tonks snarled, shaking Megumin enough to rattle what brains the child had. “Sirius Black is back! You’re both in danger! Your holiday is over!”

A few minutes later, they were back at the seaside cottage the Dursleys were staying at, after Tonks nearly stepped on a bear trap that had been magically concealed and swore a blue streak. Inside, Vernon was waiting in his golf clothes, looking irritated and slapping his nine iron menacingly into his palm.

“Girl, I’ve never beat you before, but you’re sorely tempting me. I was about to hit a birdie when your blasted spell knocked me off my feet! Have you any sense at all!?”

“I bet you were two over par,” Megumin said with a snort, as she knew Vernon’s golfing ability all too well.

Vernon went even redder in the face at that, his mustache trembling in rage. Mostly because Megumin was right, but also because of her flippant attitude. Petunia interrupted, putting a hand on Vernon's arm. “Dear, Tonks was already here. She said it was something important, something dangerous. Let's hear her out.”

“Can’t imagine what’s more dangerous than that bloody menace,” Vernon grumbled, which earned him a grin from Megumin, even as Tonks tossed her onto the couch.

“Sirius Black has returned,” Tonks repeated, but this time she pulled out a newspaper. She held it up, showing a picture of a tall, dark man with his long hair pulled back into a ponytail, dressed in a black duster coat and shiny black boots, black gloves on his hand, and a black domino mask on his face. He was standing atop Gringotts bank and waving and smiling, as the crowd below screamed in terror and panic.

The headline read “DREAD MENACE RETURNS: SIRIUS BLACK STUNS BRITAIN WITH RENEWED ATTACK.”

“So? Why should we bloody well care?” Vernon said with a snort.

“Hold on, Daddy. Is this man a Death Eater of some sort?” Yunyun asked, and her eyes were already glowing with eager menace.

“Of some sort?” Tonks said, shaking the paper in Yunyun’s face. “Sirius Black is the man who betrayed Megumin’s parents to Voldemort!”

There was a gasp from the couch, and Megumin managed to struggle upright to a sitting position. “He was?!”

Tonks gave her a flat look. “Don’t you already know this?”

Megumin nodded. “Yes, but this is clearly dramatic exposition, so I am reacting accordingly. Also, wasn’t he the only person to ever escape from Azkaban Prison?”

“He was, and he’s sworn to finish the job,” Tonks said grimly, handing the paper over to Megumin. Yunyun eagerly slid next to her cousin, and the two girls read the paper aloud.

JULY 29TH, DIAGON ALLEY

The peaceful commerce of the alleyway was shattered this morning to the horror of all, when a masked villain who declared himself to be none other than SIRIUS BLACK appeared. He fired off several spells from his vantage point, then made a dramatic speech.

“I have returned! Let the little rat that escaped my wrath 12 years ago beware! I’m back in Britain, to finish what I started! Not even Azkaban could hold me, and no one can stop me! Watch out, Megumin Potter! They might call you the Girl Who Lived, but by the time I’m through, the world will have a new name for you!”

After that, Black reportedly aparated away before anyone could stop him, leaving the sign of a Grim in the air.

There was a picture of an illusory snarling black dog hanging over Gringotts, snapping and snarling as it barked and foamed at the mouth, and Megumin and Yunyun both made appreciative noises at the artistry, then kept reading.

Authorities have already begun the search, and Minister for Magic Fudge has assured the Daily Prophet he’s already taking steps to safeguard the Girl Who Lived, and Hogwarts, which has suffered a series of unfortunate events in the past two years, each thwarted by the brave actions of Megumin Potter.

“We’ve already dispatched the Dementors to watch over Hogwarts and the Express, and have launched a massive manhunt to locate Black. He may have escaped my predecessor, but no one escapes Cornelius Fudge!”

For our full expose on the history of Sirius Black and the harrowing events that led to his capture, then escape from Azkaban, see page 5.

Slowly, Megumin lowered the paper, tears in her eyes. Tonks swallowed, and put a hand on her shoulder. “Look, I know this is going to be hard for you, but-”

“She’s not sad,” Vernon said bluntly.

“I know. Just let me finish.” Tonks lowered herself to eye level with Megumin. “This is very important. I don’t care how excited you are to have a rival, or whatever you think this is. But you are BLOODY WELL NOT TO BLOW UP THE ENTIRE COUNTRYSIDE IN A MAD QUEST FOR REVENGE!”

By the end of it, Tonks had her hands around Megumin and was shaking her again, hard enough that it looked like Megumin was nodding, and Tonks was bellowing loud enough to be heard for half a mile.

“Fine! Fine!” Megumin cried, and Tonks let her go. Megumin raised a clenched fist. “I promise not to blow up the entire countryside. But I will have an epic battle with my NEMESIS!”

“Just don’t bloody well do it at school,” Tonks said, wagging a finger under Megumin’s nose. “You’ve blown up Hogwarts two years running! Do you realize we have an office pool going as to which month the school will suffer some disaster because of you!?”

“Ah, I see,” Megumin considered this, then nodded. “Which month should I arrange a disaster to get a share of your winnings?”

“Why you little- I’m not in the pool!” Tonks glared at Megumin, but then bit her lip. “But, ah…I could put you down for June? You know, end of term and all that.”

“Deal,” Megumin said, and extended her hand.

Petunia slapped it down and shot Tonks a pointed look. “Don’t encourage her! Isn’t it bad enough she just tried to explode the entire ocean?!”

“Not the entire ocean,” Megumin said and took on a wistful expression. “Not yet.”

Even Yunyun looked at Megumin with abject horror at that particular revelation, but really, no one should have been surprised.

“Well, either way, you have a very dangerous Death Eater after you now, one that’s evaded the law for over a decade,” Tonks said with a shake of her head. “You’re all in serious danger. I’ve been sent to see to it that you don’t do anything mad, or get yourself killed before term starts. Then you’re the Dementors’ problem.”

“Ah, I have read of Dementors in my bestiary!” Megumin said, an eager look in her eyes.

Yunyun looked excited as well. “They’re demons, r-right? Do you think they’d be weaker to light-based attacks, or elemental spells?”

“Bugger me blind, this isn’t a chance for you two maniacs to test out new and creative ways to get yourself in trouble!” Tonks said though Petunia gave her a look of horror at Tonks’ language. She’d probably spent too much time with Moody. That, and she was mildly stressed from the escaped Death Eater, and massive breach of the Statute of Secrecy (again). “Besides, no known magic can kill a Dementor. And if you do irritate one, it will suck your soul out.”

Broad grins spread over Megumin and Yunyun’s faces. Megumin rubbed her hands together in anticipation, while Yunyun took out her wand and stroked it meaningfully.

“I give up!” Tonks said, throwing her hands up in the air. “I should just stun the two of you and lock you in a trunk until school starts! That might give me some piece of mind and sanity!”

“Is it really safe to have demons at a school?” Petunia asked nervously.

Vernon snorted in derision. “Of course not. But none of the other parents complain we send our girls there.”

Petunia glared at her husband until she saw the wide grins on her daughter's and Megumin’s faces. Then she just let out a heavy sigh. “Well…I suppose we’d best go back home. At least that awful security system you’ve been mucking about with will finally have a purpose.”

“B-but what about Megumin’s Birthday party!? W-we were supposed to have it here by the sea!” Yunyun said, tears filling her eyes.

“Don’t worry. I’ve already received the best present any girl could hope for,” Megumin said, patting Yunyun on the back.

“A stern warning not to blow up the castle again,” Tonks muttered.

“A safe and loving family?” Petunia said hopefully.

“Not getting the backside of my hand,” Vernon grumbled, still sore about his interrupted round of golf, which he had upgraded from double bogey to eagle in his head.

“A real nemesis,” Yunyun sighed. “It’s not fair. You have two now. Voldemort and Sirius Black.”

“It’s OK, I’m sure you’ll find your own nemesis soon,” Megumin promised Yunyun, putting a consoling hand on her shoulder.

“Your kids are mad,” Tonks told the Dursleys, though she also gave them a tired smile. “It’s a good thing I love them to bits too, or I’d suggest you stuff them in a sack and ship them off to Durmstrang.”

“Would you really!?” Megumin asked eagerly. “I hear they put a special emphasis on the Dark Arts at Durmstrang!”

“B-but I would miss all my friends!” Yunyun protested, sniffing and blinking away tears.

“We’re not shipping you to whatever this Dumbstrange is,” Petunia said firmly. “We’re going home where it’s safe.” Vernon looked put out, until Petunia added, “and where your father can golf in peace.”

“Just make sure your place is secure: Sirius Black once blew up a man so thoroughly all that was left was a finger,” Tonks said. When Megumin gave her a manic grin, she sighed and added, “No, that isn’t a contest, Megumin. Don’t go around blowing up people just to show you could do a proper job of it.”

Megumin pouted, but since she’d already had her metabolically necessary (according to her) Explosion for the day, she let it go at that.

It had been a long time since Sirius had been back to England. At first, he’d nearly refused to come, on moral grounds alone. After all, who else had to ride in a damn pet carrier on a plane?

“I’m not doing it,” Sirius had informed Remus, glaring at his best friend with the large dog carrier on the floor between them. All their earthly possessions had been packed, or given away to friends, mostly the furniture. Though there was one old armchair that Sirius had shrunk to hang on to, the couches and beds had been given to those they’d known on Maui. They hadn’t had many close friends, with Remus keeping mostly to himself, and Sirius being unknown except as a very good boy.

“Just think of it as a prank on the airline,” Remus had finally said in exasperation after a lengthy argument. “You got the bloody rabies shot!”

“No, I Confounded the veterinarian and forged the paperwork. I hate needles,” Sirius sulked. Then he frowned. “Wait, what do you mean, prank?”

“You’re smuggling yourself aboard an airplane in broad daylight. No one will even suspect you’re actually a person. Plus, it’s much cheaper to fly a pet to the UK than it is a person,” Remus said, his tone overly patient.

“I still want a seat,” Sirius sulked. “I’m not sitting in a bloody carrier for 20 bloody hours.”

“Fine! We’ll buy you a seat! But I doubt they’ll let my damn dog sit in it!” Remus snapped.

As it turned out, they did. Sirius had worn a bandana around his neck (yellow and red in an ohia bloom pattern) and sat in the seat, where stewardesses had cooed over him and even given him a free first-class steak dinner, much to Remus’ annoyance. He’d been photographed and petted, and generally spoiled to death both for their flight from Kahului Airport to Honolulu, then to Seattle for a three-hour layover, another two-hour stop in Atlanta, and finally on to Heathrow.

By the end of it, Remus was completely fed up. “Next time, I’m going as the damn dog. You were treated better than I was! My dinner was awful, they gave you steak and salmon on every flight!” He told Sirius as they landed at Heathrow.

Sirius barked, and Remus rolled his eyes. “Oh, fine, not on the first one, but that flight’s not even an hour long! Bloody women and bloody dogs.”

“It’s ok, Blackie,” a stewardess named Michelle said, coming over and hugging Sirius’ head to her very ample bosom while she rubbed the dog of a man. Sirius wagged his tale and licked her face, which made Michelle giggle and pat him. “Buckle up now, we’re landing.”

Sirius sat, and Michelle did fuss about him with the bloody buckle to Remus’ annoyance. The doggie grin Sirius gave him did nothing to improve Remus’ mood.

“Yeah, well, I’m snogging your cousin,” Remus muttered.

Sirius let out a howl, right as the plane touched down, and several people clapped and laughed.

Remus had never been so glad to get off a damn plane. Horrible contraptions. He was never flying on anything but a broom again, like a proper wizard.

To Remus’ further disgust and Sirius’ delight, when Tonks and Chris met them at the airport, both women hugged the dog and fussed over him before even acknowledging that Remus was even there.

“Who’s a good boy?” Tonks asked Sirius as he rolled over and let her rub his belly. “That was a long plane ride, but you were a good boy, oh yes, weren’t you!”

Sirius let out a happy bark, and tried to lick Tonk’s face, which earned him a death glare from Remus.

“Oh, don’t be so sour, love,” Tonks said, standing up and kissing Remus, which made him feel much better. “So, I know you have a place to stay…but there is always my flat…” She drew a shape over Remus’ chest, then up to his nose, which made him blush.

“Well, er, there is the matter of Blackie,” Remus stammered, his eyes darting down to Sirius.

“Oh, he can come over, I don’t mind, he’s just a dog and a well-behaved one at that,” Tonks said, smiling down at Sirius.

Sirius, however, did his best doggie impression of sheer unadulterated horror. He might like the idea of his best mate and his kid cousin hooking up, but he in no way, shape, or form (especially the canine kind) wanted to be around when they actually WERE together. That was just disgusting.

“I’ll take Blackie in while you two catch up,” Chris offered brightly. “Remus is just moving into staff housing at Hogwarts for a few weeks, and I do like spending time with Blackie.”

“Thanks,” Remus said. “Keep him out of trouble, would you?”

Chris nodded solemnly. “I promise not to let him get up to anything I wouldn’t do.”

Sirius was thinking with his lower brain at that particular moment in time, and missed the clear implication. Or the low five that Sirius and Chris exchanged, along with the conspiratorial grins.

Not five seconds after Remus and Tonks left for her flat to do some “catching up,” Tonks leaned down to Sirius and put a hand to his furry ear. “So, here’s what I’m thinking: you need to reintroduce yourself to Britain, and I have ideas…”

Which was how less than six hours later, Sirius proclaimed his return from atop Gringotts, with Chris running cover for him. They figured that was about enough time for Remus and Tonks to really catch up with one another. They were incorrect, and Tonks was rather irate; she'd nearly gotten the snogging session she wanted when she got an emergency message to report in and track down Megumin from Sirius’ little stunt.

After that, Sirius made himself scarce, not because he was worried about the Aurors catching up to him, but because he had a pretty good idea that Remus was already sore at him, and was probably currently contemplating that perhaps there should be one less surviving Marauder in the world. And he probably wasn’t thinking of paying Wormtail a visit.

Sirius spent the day in a pug on the muggle side of London. He now had what he thought was a pretty good American accent, a dark tan, several tattoos (one a stag, dog, and wolf in board shorts and sunglasses that said ‘Brothers for Life” on his right arm, the other of a dog’s head with a lolling tongue drinking a beer that said ‘Sirius Business’ on his left) his hair dyed blond in a ponytail, and a loud Hawaiian shirt and ‘slippers,’ known as thongs to brits. Even with the police broadcast alerting everyone to the return of the notorious Sirius Black, absolutely no one suspected him.

He even showed several people his ‘Sirius Business’ Tattoo and they had a good laugh about the whole thing.

Once the sun was down, Sirius made his way over to Little Whinging, arriving just as the Dursleys pulled into the driveway in their car. He watched them in his human form, though in his ‘Sirius’ disguise. This was with long, greasy black hair, a goatee, sallow skin, and yellow teeth. In short, he looked like Severus Snape, though with his own features.

He did bother to disguise himself in a porkpie hat and a cheap suit with a red tie, so the sleepy teens didn’t notice him. This was fortunate, as to Megumin and Yunyun, “restraint” didn’t mean not violating the Statue of Secrecy, or calling to aurors. It meant they would have started with the sort of spells that can level houses instead of city blocks.

After waiting for dark, Sirius made the most Sirius mistake of his life up until that point: he decided to try to sneak into the house and lurk outside Megumin’s window. Both to check up on her, and to give her a proper scare. A plan for a prank of truly epic proportions that would have made even James and Lily the Mad proud was percolating in Sirius’ mind. And step one was building up his reputation.

Tossing aside the newspaper he’d been reading, or at least pretending to, Sirius took out his wand, then grabbed the iron bars of the fence around the Dursley’s property to jump over it.

The force of the electrical shock that hit him caused Sirius to yell and be knocked back several feet onto his arse. He sat there, dazed for a moment, as a muggle woman walking her dog went around him.

“Damn Dursleys. Are you alright, sir? That family, so strange. Complete menaces. We should call the Council about that blasted fence of theirs.”

“No, I’m fine,” Sirius assured her. “I’m a family friend. Was planning to pop over for a visit. I guess Megumin wasn’t kidding when she said her Uncle’s security system was something else,” Sirius said, standing and brushing himself off.

The woman made a sour face. “Oh, you’re one of THOSE types. Always hanging around with the Dursleys they are. First it was them and their brats, then it was that crazy Moody. Stay away from me. Come, Fluffles.”

The dog yipped at Sirius, then flounced after her master back home.

“Old Mad Eye, eh?” Sirius said, rubbing his face. If Alastor Moody had been giving Vernon Dursley security tips, this would be more interesting than Sirius had thought.

Sirius, of course, was afflicted with the same malady that caused a complete lack of sense amongst wizards. Namely, that once you can make the universe respond to your whims, you start to develop some very odd notions.

Checking to make sure no one was watching, Sirius snuck up to the front of the house, where he cast a detection spell. Immediately, there was a loud twang, and Sirius swore and barely dodged to the side as a crossbow bolt embedded itself in the asphalt where he’d been standing so hard it sent chips flying up.

“Right,” Sirius muttered, rubbing his thigh where a bit of rubble had struck him. “Mad Eye’s security system. Damn, I’m rusty.”

This time, Sirius cast a spell to enhance his eyesight and sense of smell and hearing. He looked down, and spotted a trip wire. Grinning, he dodged that, and at the same time had to limbo under a second wire. He avoided a rock that looked like it might contain a pressure pad, and tiptoed up to the garage. Very carefully, he used his wand to cut a hole in the door, then waved his wand over it. He didn’t see anything, so stuck his head through, then swore and jerked it back when a swinging circular saw nearly gave him a new haircut.

“Crazy old bastard,” Sirius muttered, half impressed, and half horrified. Megumin lived here?

Slowly, carefully, and painstakingly slowly, Sirius cut a second hole, and disarmed the circular saw, which had reset itself. He was just stepping into the garage, when the door opened. Megumin stepped out, wearing a T-shirt and shorts, and carrying a bag of rubbish to the bins set against the wall. She and Sirius just stood there, gawking at one another for a moment.

For a brief instant, Sirius lost himself. At first glance, Megumin didn’t look that much like her parents. However, a second look showed her facial structure was very similar to Lily's, especially at Megumin’s age. She had the same mischievous sparkle in her red eyes that James had in his green ones, and her dark messy hair did remind Sirius of Jame’s own thick unruly locks. For an instant, tears filled his eyes, and Sirius felt a pang. Maybe this wasn’t the right thing to do. Maybe he should just tell Megumin everything, here and now, and start to catch up on all that lost time.

Then he shook himself. Where was the fun in that?

“BEHOLD!” Megumin bellowed, and all illusion that she was not the daughter of James and Lily Potter vanished. She dropped the bag of rubbish, and struck a pose, her eyes gleaming in the dim light of the garage.  “I AM MEGUMIN! FOREMOST GENIUS OF THE CRIMSON DEMON CLAN, AND SHE WHO WILL AVENGE HER PARENTS BY SLAYING YOU, VILLAIN!”

Sirius did have a big introduction planned, but it had flown out of his hand. Instead, he cackled and raised his arms like he was Dick Dastardly about to commit his daily nefarious deed.  “And I am Sirius Black, the most wanted man in Britain! I have you now, my pretty!”

Then Megumin drew the biggest wand that Sirius had ever seen in her life, and pointed it right at him. “CONFRINGO!”

Sirius barely managed to dodge, diving back out of the hole he’d cut, and swearing as he dinged his leg on it. He fired off a Jelly Legs Jinx, along with a rather creative Jinx he’d invented for special use on Snivellus: the Bat Boogey Jinx. He hit the dirt on the other side just in time, as another Confringo fired out of his escape hatch and blew a second hole in the pavement, this one much larger.

Unfortunately, Sirius had triggered the fire ant trap artfully concealed in the driveway, and howled in pain as the ants swarmed him and started biting. He still had the presence of mind to stand up and fire two more spells, a Bubble Head Jinx and a Nettling Hex, though he did see that Megumin was wobbling around and fighting off bats made of mucus that were assaulting her.

“You think you can stop Sirius Black so easily?!” Sirius thundered, though his voice did squeak a little at the end when an ant bit him in the tenders.

That was when Vernon stumbled out. “I FIXED THE GUN, MAD EYE!” he bellowed, and fired off a double load of bird shot at Sirius.

Sirius did get up a shield that deflected most of the pellets, but one did hit him in the knee, making him wince as he hastily hobbled back. Then the door across the street flew open.

“CONSTANT VIGILANCE!” Alastor Moody cried, charging out of his house, wand held eye, his false eye spinning crazily for all the world to see.

Oh hell. Well, Sirius had already accomplished his mission for the night in seeing Megumin. “You haven’t seen the last of me, Potter! I’ll be seeing you again, very soon!”

Sirius did the only smart thing he’d done that day and apparated the hell away from that death trap.

He found himself in Grimmauld place, and collapsed on the floor, breathing hard, but with a stupid grin on his face. “Well, that wasn’t so bad.”

“Really? Because what I have planned for you will be.”

Sirius winced, and lifted his head to see a scowling Lupin sitting on his rather dusty old couch.

“Er, fancy seeing you here?” Sirius offered.

Remus raised his wand. “Bad dog.”

The howls of pain Sirius let out warmed the cockles of Kreacher’s heart.

The Second Archon War, Carmen Dei 8

Looking down at herself, Capri felt slightly embarrassed. She was dressed in skin-tight black and purple tights, with a cape of all things! It was thankfully padded in the right places not to be too obscene, but she still felt practically naked in this getup. She tried to examine herself, but without a mirror, it was a bit hard. She was currently in an alleyway a kilometer from the Gesellschaft facility, with her own clothes in the brown paper bag this getup had been in.

Just as she was deciding she was going to tell Venti off for this preposterous idea, Naomi peered around the corner and grinned. “You look great! Aren’t these fabulous?”

Naomi lept out from behind the wall and went en pointe, doing a pirouette with the wind gusting about her. She giggled and then stood with her hands on her hips, chest thrust out to show off her own costume. Naomi was wearing the stupid domino mask, hers was green, and her own costume was mostly white, with blue highlights. A Star of David in Blue was emblazoned on her chest, and for some reason, her costume had a headdress and horns. Venti hadn’t been clear on why that was important.

It was also not fair. Naomi was ridiculously sexy in that outfit, to the point that Capri wanted to take her back to the van and have some quality time together. Looking down at her own costume, Capri grimaced at the red Roma Chakra on her bosom, the sixteen-spoked wheel that was the symbol of her own people. “I, uh, I look OK? Not like a dork in their PJs?”

Naomi lowered her leg slowly, then came over and draped her arms around Capri’s shoulders, smiling at her happily. “We’re capes now, remember? We have to look the part. And both our people need heroes, don’t you think? Be proud!”

“Yeah, I guess…”

Naomi kissed Capri on the nose, which made her snort and laugh. “Ok, fine! You win. I’ll stop being so grumpy. I bet Venti didn’t have to wear the stupid suit.”

“Have to? No. Want to? Absolutely! And I look rather dashing, I must say!”

They both looked up to see Venti on the rooftop above them, posing dramatically. His braids whipped behind him in the wind, and his green cape billowed out behind him. His spandex was green on white, with the Anemo symbol on his- wait.

“Venti, are you a girl?” Capri blurted.

Grinning, Venti hopped down on a gust of wind, landing easily. “I figured this should be a girls’ night out sort of thing! Plus, you know, secret identities are all the rage!” Oddly enough, Venti’s voice wasn’t any different that Capri could tell, though her bust and hips clearly indicated she was female. “Mine is just a tad more thorough than most!”

Naomi paced around Venti, frowning slightly. “You’re maybe a hair shorter, and there’s a few obvious physical differences…I don’t know how good of a disguise this is, Venti.”

Nodding seriously, Venti produced a pair of Groucho Marx glasses and put them on. “What about now?”

Capri and Naomi shared a pained look, and Capri sighed. “Just stick with the domino mask. We should be taking this seriously, you know.”

“You’re no fun, you know that?” Venti, heaving an even more dramatic sigh, then taking off the glasses and putting on her green domino mask. She grinned and saluted. “Ready for deeds of derring do, my faithful companions?”

“I’m ready to kick some nazi ass,” Capri growled, smacking a fist into her palm. There was a loud crackle of electrical discharge as she did so, and purple sparks flew. Her eyes even glowed, resulting in a rather impressive display.

“Capri!” Naomi gasped, her hands flying to her mouth. “Your eyes!”

“What about them?” Capri asked, frowning.

“They’re purple,” Naomi said. “I would show you in my mirror, but it’s with my things.”

“I have one.” Capri rummaged in her bag for a moment and pulled out a compact mirror. To her shock, her eyes really were turning purple. They weren’t totally violet yet, but purple flecks floated in her irises. She looked at Naomi, and frowned. “Your eyes do look more green than usual…hard to tell in this light. Sun’s almost set.”

Snatching up the mirror, Naomi examined her own eyes, then lowered the mirror and looked at Venti. “Wait, will they…”

“Your eyes are changing color,” Venti confirmed. “Your hair might too. Darker hair tends not to change as much, though some people don’t have their hair change color at all. Not everyone has the physiological changes, but it’s pretty common.”

“Weird,” Capri said with a shake of her head.

In contrast, Naomi grinned. “It’s so magical!”

Once the sun was actually down, Venti led them toward the Gesellshaft Facility. It was in an older industrial district, with warehouses and various factories around it, as well as two fences, the second of which had razor wire along the top, guard posts, and security guards that were heavily armed, some of whom even had dogs with them. There were plenty of signs proclaiming that it was a hazardous and secure facility, and trespassers would be dealt with.

Capri swallowed, glancing over at Naomi, who looked equally nervous, though she did give Capri a smile and reach out her hand. Capri took it and gave Naomi a squeeze, then turned back to the facility.

“So, how do we crack this nut without getting ourselves shot to bloody bits? I take it these superpowers don’t make us bullet proof.”

“A good shield could probably stop most bullets, though I’m not of the philosophy that the best way to learn how to make a shield is to shoot at someone. No, instead, we’re going to cause a small distraction!” Venti said happily. She pointed to the gates. “Have I mentioned that you can use a Vision to make constructs? Because you totally can.”

Naomi and Capri shook their heads silently, and Venti winked. “Watch closely, ladies! This is how you make a distraction!” Putting her fingers together and sticking them in her mouth, Venit let out a shrill whistle. “Come on out, Andrius!”

A sudden icy gale wind began to blow, and a moment later, a giant spectral wolf appeared, glowing with a green light. It was just rounding a corner, and paused in front of the main gates. The guards stopped, all of them turning to gape at the giant wolf. The creature sat back on its haunches and let out a bone-chilling howl that sent a gale forward that rattled the gate and blew one guard off their feet.

Two other guards opened fire, while another began frantically shouting into his radio. Other guards began to run forward, though the ones with the dogs were having trouble as the animals had instantly turned and bolted for the other direction when they had smelled the giant wolf. Apparently, Venti’s constructs included scent.

“That uh, that’s a pretty good distraction,” Capri admitted as the wolf charged the gates. “Let’s get going…”

“Yep! Here we go!” Venti jumped off the warehouse roof they were on, only for a great gust of wind to send her flying. Her cape opened up, turning into a sort of squirrel suit, and she began to glide down onto the roof of the main building of the Gesellschaft complex.

“Oh hell,” Capri groaned. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and ran out into the empty air. “AAHHHHHH!”

“WEEEEEEE!” Naomi laughed, and both of them were swept up in the gust.

Capri managed to get her cape out and use it to glide herself, with Naomi beside her, and they both landed gently a few moments later next to Venti on the roof. The battle was still on going, with one screaming guard sent flying by the snarling wolf, which appeared largely unphased by the small arms fire.

As Capri watched though, two figures ran out of the building. One let out a bestial roar and grew larger, taking on the features of a bison and charging ahead at the wolf. The other pulled out a pair of knives, throwing both at the wolf. The knives flew through the air, slashing at Andrius, but then circled back around, following motions the cape made with their hands.

“Um, is Andrius going to be alright?” Naomi asked Venti, who shrugged.

“That’s not really Andrius, just some wind I imbued with a little power. It should last for an hour or two, maybe less if they disrupt it badly enough. I did give it my old friend’s form though in a fit of nostalgia. Now, let’s see what’s behind door number one…”

They found an access door easily enough, though it was securely locked. Venti frowned at it for a moment, then turned and winked. “So! Vision Holder basics, part two! Most people can turn into elemental energy for a brief moment of time. Some can control this form better than others, but whether it’s a gust of wind or a surging wave, you can tap into your power and assume an elemental form.”

“Surging wave? There are water visions?” Naomi asked curiously.

“Ehe! You’ll learn about those later I suspect! For now, watch closely!” Venti suddenly vanished, replaced by a small green dust devil. The wind funneled itself through the small seams in the door frame and vanished. A moment later, the door swung open to reveal Venti on the other side. She swept a bow, and Naomi applauded politely.

“Interesting. So I could turn into electricity?” Capri asked, frowning. “How do I do that?”

“It takes a fair degree of attunement to pull off and some practice, you’ve only had yours for a few days so you won’t manage it yet. Come on! Let’s see what secrets we can find.”

They ventured down the stairs, only for Venti to hold up a hand. “There’s people waiting for us below. They seem to be waiting for us to go through that door with guns, and one seems to be a…what’s the word?”

“Cape? Parahuman?” Capri suggested.

“One of those,” Venti agreed. Her brow furrowed, and Venti tilted her head to one side. “I can’t really tell much about their powers. They don’t work like Visions or a gods Aspect at all. They’re at the back though. Hmmm.”

Capri held her breath, glancing at Naomi. She lowered her voice and whispered,” How did they know we’re here?!”

“A security system on the roof? The door? I don’t know,” Naomi admitted.

They were interrupted by a loud finger snap that made both of them jump. “A-ha! I have it! Here’s what we’re going to do…”

“They’re on the stairs, we’ll get them as soon as they exit,” Stolpergefahr said quietly into his radio. “Looks like three capes. Probably that Venti we were warned about, and two others. One’s a jew.”

“Copy that. Take them out, alive if you can. We need to study these Visions more.”

“Copy that, Herr Doktor,” Stolpergefahr agreed and tucked the radio away. He nodded to the stormtroopers with him. “Back up a little. I’ll knock them off their feet. Take them alive if you can.”

They all nodded their heads, taking out tasers and batons and lifting riot shields. None of them would be heartbroken if these fools were killed. Did they really think a distraction at the gates would fool the Gesellschaft? They’d been picked up on the cameras as soon as they’d landed on the roof. Now they just had to wait.

Crouching down, Stolpergefahr put his bare hands on the floor. His power let him turn off friction on any non-organic surface, which was fairly useful as long as he wasn’t in a wooden building. He could control the area and size fairly well, and his range extended as far as the unbroken surface. The smooth metal flooring here was perfect for his powers, and he grinned in expectation. These fools wouldn’t know what hit them. As if they could outsmart the master race.

The door shuddered and suddenly blew open, a gust of green tinged wind blowing in. It battered everyone slightly, but they had on goggles and weren’t overly affected. What sort of weak trick was this?

Then there was a spark, and purple lightning arced along the wind, then the floor. Stolpergefahr screamed in pain, then wet himself, before passing out and slumping to the floor, drooling like an idiot.

Whistling a jaunty tune, Venti strode into the hallway ahead of Capri and Naomi. For her part, Capri shook out her tingling hands. She hadn’t used that much electricity before, and her hands felt slightly numb, though it wasn’t painful. She glanced around at the smoking guards, and grimaced. Had she just killed people? Even if they were Nazis, it soured her stomach.

“Don’t worry, they’re alive, just taking a nap!” Venti laughed. “I stopped you before you fried them. Come on! Let’s see what else is going on! Here!”

Capri nodded and followed Venti through the metal corridors until they came to a locked security door. This one looked to be airtight, and Venti wouldn’t be able to circumnavigate it by turning into a breeze. Venti frowned at it, then up at the air ducts. “I could go around, but…hmm. Hey Capri, do you still have your skeleton key?”

“Skeleton key?” she asked, frowning. “I don’t have lockpicks, and I never learned.”

“No, the big one,” Venti explained, stretching her arms wide. Then mined smashing the door.

“Oh. Oh!” Capri grinned, and stretched out her hand. With a snap and pop of thunder, Skyward Pride dropped into her hand. “Stand back!” Taking a deep breath, she filled her body with power, and the sword crackled with energy. She roared and charged, slamming her sword into the door. It bent, then crumpled in, not having been rated to withstand a Brute’s attack. Capri panted, but smiled.

“I guess I do have a skeleton key!”

They proceeded further, but before long Venti held up her fist again. “More coming.”

A moment later, there was a loud clanging, and Capri gasped as something large and furry launched itself at her. She barely had time to bring her sword up, before she was slammed back and sent flying down the corridor. A gust of wind caught her, and the pain from the impact melted away. She saw the bison headed parahuman from before, but this time, they seemed to be much larger.

They were easily two meters tall, probably more, with two horns and a furry cow-like head that had a mop of dark hair and a hump on the back. Their front arms had grown much longer, and though they still had hands, their fingers ended in dark hoof-like nails, and their skin had gone dark brown. They let out a bellow, pawing the ground with their long arms and lowering their head as they turned towards Naomi, who had drawn the Skyward Sword, wind raging around the blade.

“OH NO YOU DON’T!” Capri roared, and with a snap of thunder blasted forward, swinging her sword for all she was worth. The brutish Changer turned towards Capri with a snort, catching her sword on their horns and sliding back only a few centimeters before they came to a halt. Their dark brown eyes glared at Capri, and they snorted again in anger.

Grunting, Capri tried to draw on her vision to bear down with her sword, but with a toss of their head, the bison-man tossed her back. She managed to land on her feet, and tried to counter with another overhead swing. However, the ceiling was too low for that, and staggered as her giant blade caught on the panels. It sliced through them, but her cut was ruined.

Then two knives whirled through the air at Capri’s head, and Naomi was there, deflecting them with her sword and sending them off with a gust of wind.

“Shit, what happened to the wolf!?” Capri gasped.

“Looks like it wasn’t enough of a distraction,” Venti sighed. “That, or they’re stronger than I thought.”

“Die, filth!” a voice shouted, and Capri saw a woman catch the knives out of the air, then toss them back right at Naomi. At the same time, the bison-man let out a bugle and lowered their head, charging right for Capri.

“Sorry, we’re in a hurry,” Venti said, and raised a hand. A blast of wind so powerful that it staggered both Capri and Naomi just from the backdraft howled out of Venti’s palm. The changer was sent crashing into a wall so hard their horns were impaled and stuck there, while the striker with the knives flew at least 20 meters back down the corridor they’d come from and struck a door, hard. They slid down like a doll with the strings cut and didn’t move. The bison-man fell down as well, changing back to reveal an average-looking man with nut-brown hair.

“Why didn’t you just open with that?” Capri asked, righting herself and checking Naomi to make sure she was fine. Naomi was a little dazed, but gave Capri a thumbs up and a smile.

“Well, it’s a lot of work, and really I try to avoid showing off. Besides, I nearly killed both of them. Had to heal them a bit to keep them alive,” Venti explained.

“Why bother with that? They’re Nazi scum,” Capri said, sneering.

Venti regarded her seriously. “Because everyone deserves freedom. And those held in bonds of hatred more than most. If I can save even one of them, show them the light…then I’ll try. They can never make amends if they never repent.”

“You…you truly are a servant of the Lord,” Naomi whispered, and even Capri felt a pang.

Then Venti ruined it with that stupid laugh. “Ehe! Well, I don’t know about that. I’m just a wandering bard! Now come, I want to get to the bottom of this.”

They didn’t meet any more guards or capes, though they did come to another security door, this one with a convenient vent nearby for Venti to slip through. However, once on the other side, apparently, Venti couldn’t figure out how to open it, as she mentioned Capri and Naomi back. They moved to the side, and another blast of wind was directed at the door. The door was dented slightly but survived. The wall, however, was punched right through, allowing Capri and Naomi to slip through a crack.

After that, they found an elevator door, though it was sealed and locked. There was a nearby staircase that was similarly shut, but Capri’s skeleton key fixed that easily enough.

“Hold on,” Venti said, frowning. “There’s a whole group of people down there. Hmm, more guards, and several capes. Hmm, one of them is All Father, or at least they’re calling him that. Even an Electro Vision holder. I’d be embarrassed if there was an Anemo one…”

“Wait, bad people can get visions?” Naomi asked, sounding worried.

Venti winced but nodded. “They represent mortal ambition. And, well, sadly, that also includes the ambitions of the evil. I’ve known Anemo Vision holders who did value freedom…but were willing to do things to attain it that were unspeakable. I try to see to it they don’t stay long in Mondstadt, but I can’t monitor the whole world. I can’t say what this man’s ambition is, only that he somehow matches with the Raiden Shogun’s ideal of Eternity.”

“So…what do we do about it?” Capri asked.

Venti winked. “Well, it’s time I showed you an old Anemo trick. Pay close attention! Next time, I expect you to do it, Naomi!”

Standing in front of the door, Richard seethed. He’d just been visiting this evening, and everything had gone to hell. Auerochse and Bumerang-Klinge had failed, as had Stolpergefahr. The wind-based attacks meant it had been Venti, and the uniform of one of the women proved this really was a Jewish conspiracy. He clenched his fists, and aimed one of his summoned blades. Bumerang was a child compared to what he could do.

Beside him were three more parahumans. None as powerful as him, but all sworn to the ideals of the Gesellschaft. They were proud, pure blooded aryan stock, and would trample over this sub-human trash with ease. They also had a score of well armed guards, and there would be no aiming to disable or wound this time. This facility had to be protected, at all costs.

To Richard’s surprise, he found his heart was pounding. Why? He’d faced off with the PRT and other gangs in America, and come out on top each time. Even Armsmaster was no match for him. He was strong, stronger than…his head was pounding now, and he was gasping for breath.

He looked around, feeling dizzy. What was…what was going on? What low-handed, vile attack was…was…

All around him, the pride of the Gesellschaft began to stagger, then fall over. Richard was desperately trying to suck air into his lungs, but there was just not enough! He hit the floor and blacked out.

Stepping over the bodies, Capri paused to spit on one. She would have been tempted to kick them, but she didn’t want to wake them. She could see their chests rising and falling now, though Venti said it would be some time before they recovered.

“We don’t have long, come on,” Venti urged, and taking a security card off All Father himself, they swiped the door, then entered the underground lab.

The room itself was clean, and sterile, with various medical equipment and operating tables, all gleaming metal or soft plastic. It looked modern, and expensive. There were no blood stains or the scent of death on the air, just antiseptic and bleach.

But the neatly laid out surgical equipment, and the close by morgue told Capri what sort of place this was.

“How long, O Lord, must we call for help?” Naomi breathed, her hand clutching her chest as tears filled her eyes, and she looked at a shroud that covered a corpse, a tag sticking out on an exposed toe.

“No longer,” Venti growled, and went over. She pulled back the shroud, revealing a woman with blonde hair and pallid, cold skin, her eyes closed. The side of her head was shaved, and there was an incision there. With a grimace, Venti covered her again, then picked up a nearby clipboard.

Capri went over to a large glass cabinet that was refrigerated, and filled with vials. Each was neatly labeled, though with letters and numbers that didn’t make any sense. Most vials started with an “E”, though a few had a “U” instead.

“Was…was she a prisoner? Did they kidnap her,” Naomi asked quietly, going over to the shroud covered body. She reached out a trembling hand, but hesitated.

“No,” Venti said, tossing the clipboard down. “She was ‘pure aryan stock.’ A volunteer. All of these are volunteers. I had feared they were experimenting on the homeless or orphans, but no. They’re doing this to their own.”

Venti came over to the cabinet, but slowed as she approached. When she stood in front of it, her eyes were wide. “No…no…it can’t be…”

“What is it?” Capri asked uncertainly.

Venti backed away slowly, then whirled. “Get out. Now. This place is dangerous. Incredibly so. What are these mortal fools DOING!? Not even Khaenri'ah at the height of her hubris was this foolish or mad!”

“What’s in the vials?” Capri asked, but she was already turning and hurrying out.

“A dead god. Those idiots are putting bits of a dead god inside of people. They have a high success rate. That woman was their first failure in months,” Venti said, then turned, making a swirling motion. The unconscious bodies floated up into the air, then zipped up the stairs. “Hurry. I’m going to bring this whole place down. This is incredibly dangerous.”

“Is there any information we should get? Like on the computers?” Naomi asked uncertainly.

“I’ve already read all the documents,” Venti said as the wind whipped through the facility. “Now come on. I’m going to bury this abomination so deeply not even Morax could dig it out.”

They raced back up through the facility, then took off into the air, Venti lifting them up on the winds. Capri spied a long row of bodies beyond the gates and guessed it was all the guards and staff. Then she looked to Venti, and gasped. Her form had shifted again, once more that of an angel, though now with androgynous features.

“Forgive them,” Venti said, raising their hand as the wind began to rage and twist. “For they knew not what they did.”

Bringing their hand down, a massive tornado swirled down out of the clouds, drilling into the earth. The entire Gesellschaft facility was pounded flat, then down into the ground, so that a great hole opened up. Then Venti ripped up the surrounding warehouses and piled them on top of the hole, filling it in. But that wasn’t all. What was left was pounded flat and sent down again, and the earth shook and bucked below them. Then Venti ripped up the earth all around, sending boulders the size of houses flying through the air, and paved an area over a kilometer square absolutely flat.

All the while, Naomi and Capri clung to one another, surrounded by a shield of winds as they floated in the sky amidst dark clouds, as they watched in terror and awe.

Mentally, Capri moved herself from agnostic to Believer. Venti was glowing with power and authority, singing a wordless song that sounded like a funeral dirge as gales that could have shredded steel raged around them, not once coming close to them. It was a sight and sound to make stones weep, and all Capri could do was bury her head in Naomi’s shoulder and tremble.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding,” Naomi whispered, hugging Capri tight. She said other prayers and psalms, some in German, some in Hebrew, others in Yiddish.

“A god. A real god,” Capri whimpered, over and over again.

When it was all over, there was no sign of the facility. Only rows of bodies lying on the ground. Capri wondered if they were dead, then decided she didn’t care. They were Nazis, and if Venti had measured them and found them wanting, well…Capri was increasingly certain that if anyone was worthy of judging mortals, it was Venti.

At last, Venti lowered them back down at the edge of the devastation, right where they’d parked the van. He was back in his normal form, and looked saddened.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” Venti said quietly, hanging his head. “I don’t like to do that. I hope…I hope you don’t think any less of me. I know it frightens mortals to see that, but…well. I’ll be going then. I had fun, the three of us. Farewell.”

Turning, Venti began to walk off, leaving Capri and Naomi clinging to one another. They watched him go, then finally were able to breathe again.

“What…what should we do?” Capri asked, feeling utterly lost.

Naomi thought for a moment, then ran for the van. “Come on! It’s not too late! Hurry!”

They piled in, and this time Naomi drove, something she rarely did. She hit the gas and the van lurched into motion. They didn’t go far though, as a green shape was caught in their headlights in seconds. Naomi hit the breaks, squealing to a stop by Venti, who looked up, startled.

“Get in,” Capri said, jerking her thumb to the back.

Venti blinked. “What? Are you-”

“We’re on a mission from God,” Naomi said seriously.

“Well, I don’t want you to think-” Venti began, but Capri cut him off.

“We have to keep the band together,” Naomi agreed, nodding. “The Tone Deaf Bards have only had one performance! We can’t stop now!”

“Yeah. Besides, did you think we’d stop being your friends just because you can be a little scary sometimes?” Capri demanded. She snorted. “I’ve seen worse. Now get in, I’m tired and hungry.”

A slow grin spread over Venti’s face, and he slid open the door, sliding back inside. Naomi started up the van again, and they were quiet for a few moments.

“Thank you,” Venti said, reaching up to squeeze both their shoulders. “This means a lot to me.”

“Hey, thank you. I was just a lost and angry guitar player. Now? Now I’ve got a purpose,” Capri said, turning to grin at Venti.

Naomi nodded. “We did need someone who could play keyboard!”

“We’ll, I’ll try not to disappoint,” Venti drawled, leaning back in the seat.

“Good. Now who’s up for WcDonalds?” Naomi asked brightly.

They headed for the golden arches, laughing and joking about their exploits.

And far away, on the other side of the world, a woman stood atop Mount Fuji.

“Barbatos,” she whispered. “What stirs you?”

Then, in a flash of thunder, she was gone.

Last Drop of Hope, Chapter 14

In the vast black void of space, even the relatively short distance between a planet and its satellites is tremendously expansive and mostly empty. Even with the constant traffic of thousands of ships between Discord and Belzerg, it was actually rather rare for two ships to pass within visual range of one another due to the very nature of orbital mechanics: the optimum path to intercept the other body was to aim where it would be, not where it was, and thus ships coming and going did not take the same paths. Differing accelerations of ships also meant that they would take slightly different angles, which could result in a distance of dozens to thousands of kilometers apart even if they were bound for the same destination and left at similar times.

The end result was that most traffic was actually spread out over a circle around the planet, with ships on a relatively flat plane but on vastly different trajectories. This was normally not a problem, and actually a good thing as it largely made collisions a statistical impossibility.

Now, however, the Guild Hauler was in an increasingly desperate situation, with enemies on all sides, and allies far distant from them. They could not run, as their destination was known and their acceleration hard capped by the need to decelerate at their turnaround point, and they could not hide. While a small ship like the Faitfore could be equipped with systems that reduced their emissions and lowered their profile on LIDAR and RADAR, the Guild Hauler was simply far too massive. It was possible to “run dark” so to speak without active sensors transmitting, and that would make them harder to spot, but when your initial vector and velocity were known that was worse than pointless.

And so, Kazuma watched in helpless horror as the battle slowly, painfully unfolded all around him. The alliances had shaken out quickly, and brutally. NyteTech and Santomon Chemicals had quickly joined together and were actively hunting all other factions, though they were paying special attention to ShopWiz ships. ChimeraTech had found willing allies in Masked Media and the Church of Serenity and was also focusing on ShopWiz targets.

The smallest faction by far, the ShopWiz ships were standing alone. The Cats Eye Group ships were their only possible allies, though that was more because the other two factions were nearly as gleeful in destroying Cats Eye Ships as ShopWiz, though several battles were taking place between the two larger alliances as well.

“Holy hell,” Kazuma whispered, looking at the main display on the bridge.  “How do we survive this?”

He, along with Alice and Lolisa, were standing on the main bridge, where the atmosphere was tense and nervous. Luna was currently resting after a 12-hour watch, and without her crew morale was falling apart. She had been humming or singing, which had a soothing effect that Kazuma could tell was definitely not natural, but had certainly been appreciated.

“More importantly, how does life survive on Belzerg after this?” Lan asked, slumping in the command chair. She’d been given the watch when Luna went to bed, and despite having just come off an 8-hour rest cycle, looked exhausted already. “All the shipping is getting blown to hell. Half the stations are damaged or destroyed. How is anyone going to eat?”

“I confess I am somewhat ignorant of the current state of affairs, but are there not farms or herds on the planet?” Alice asked, motioning to the display. “Should not the rulers of the world be able to feed their peoples?”

“You’ve been asleep for a long time, your Grace,” Lolisa said quietly, looking at Kazuma with hungry eyes. He shifted nervously, and she blushed when she noticed her staring and looked away. “The former Generals poisoned the world when they won. With no gods to renew the world, mana ran out. Magic was gone. With the land increasingly ruined, the water foul, and the air toxic, the food started running out a long time ago.”

Alice looked disturbed at that, and glanced at Kazuma. His nod caused her expression to darken. “Then clearly, they are unfit to rule.”

“All the royal bloodlines were wiped out,” Lolisa said, hanging her head. “I…I didn’t help with that, I was stationed in Axel. It was a little town at the edge of nowhere, then.”

“The town of New Beginnings,” Alice confirmed.

“Axel?” Kazuma asked, frowning and shaking his head. “That’s where I’m from. It’s a dead-end town. The only corporation is ShopWiz, and everyone knows they’re the most worthless…uh…I mean…”

“We know our reputation,” Lan said with a sigh, shaking her head. She looked faintly green at the moment. “We’re the weakest Corporation by far. Everyone says our CEO is an idiot. Even us.”

“Don’t sell Wiz short. She’s the one who’s going to save the planet.”

Everyone turned to see Dust stride onto the bridge, looking worn, but still with a smile on his face. “After all, she’s the one who sent me, the hero, to find Queenie and Kazuma!”

“Queenie?” Kazuma asked, raising an eyebrow at Dust, though Alice looked slightly disturbed.

“Of course! She’s going to be the Queen, right?” Dust said, smiling at Alice.

“I…” Alice turned back to the display, staring at the planet. Her expression hardened. “Yes. The throne requires a ruler. I do not know how but…I cannot let my people starve.”

“I did manage to make some plants bloom,” Kazuma said uncertainly. “Just kudzu, but…”

The crew shifted in their seats, turning to look at Kazuma and Alice, expressions of hope on their faces.

“Yes, Basic Magic is often employed by farmers,” Alice agreed. “It can provide soil and water, both rich in mana to aid in the growth of crops. There are more advanced agricultural spells, but those are the basics,” Alice agreed.

“Actually, we’re already feeding that Kudzu into our systems. It’s edible with the right treatment,” one of the officers said.

A light turned on in Kazuma’s head. “Alice, could YOU cause food to grow?”

“Of course, one of my duties as princess was to bless the harvest. Royal mana always results in the strongest…crops…” Alice put a hand to her head, looking dazed, and Kazuma stepped forward to put a hand on her shoulder.

She took a deep breath and collected herself, then smiled up at him and said in a soft voice, “I apologize. These things come to me, and I have brief flashes of images, of sound, of intense emotion…but I cannot remember all the context. It is as though I have lost myself.”

“That sounds pretty scary,” Kazuma admitted. “But don’t worry. I’ll look out for you. And I can tell you right now: if you can grow food, you’ll never be poor or lack a job. People are desperate for food. Hell, whole gang wars have been fought over a truckload of expired rations.”

“As I said, it is a ruler's job to see to the needs of her people.” Alice turned back to the display, her hands clenching into fists. “If I am truly the last Belzerg, then I will assume the throne, and see to it that the people are provided for, as per the ancient contract.”

“You can remember something it seems,” Kazuma said, giving Iris a lopsided grin. When she looked at him questioningly, he added, “You remember your sense of duty.”

She beamed happily at him and turned to the crew. “Continue towards the rally point! We shall not let these servants of malice prevent us from returning home and saving the people from starvation! Let them flee before our might!”

Something in Alice’s words seemed to hearten the crew, and the mood improved considerably. Then Alice turned back to the plot, a confident look on her face, but she leaned in close to Kazuma. “I do not understand this sort of naval combat. How good are our chances?”

“I’m not an expert in space fighting either, but it doesn’t look good,” he admitted. “We’re outnumbered, and there’s a lot of enemies between us and Belzerg.”

Alice nodded but didn’t shift her expression. She continued to extrude confidence and strength, and Kazuma had to admire her for it.

After a few hours though, it was increasingly obvious that they were going to be intercepted by a pack of NyteTech and Santomon Chemicals ships, two of which were even larger than the Guild Hauler. Tonnage wasn’t everything, as none of the ships were purely military in construction and were closer to Q Ships than anything else. Still, it didn’t look good. When there was less than an hour to contact, Luna came back onto the bridge, looking exhausted, but at least a little better than she had before. She’d had less than six hours of respite, but that appeared to be all she would get.

“It’s a battle we cannot win,” she bluntly told Alice. “We cannot run nor hide. If we try to slug it out, we’ll end up as debris floating in the void. And frankly, your Grace, you dying in a space battle is simply not an option.”

“What would you have me do, run and abandon you and your men? How can I run, and where to?” Alice demanded, glaring at Luna.

“Yes,” Luna said bluntly. “You’re the last, best hope that Belzerg has. Us? We’re literally expendable. There are a million corporate drones ready to replace all of us. But not you. The world is literally dying because your family left, because the gods died. And if there’s even the slightest bit of hope that you can save the world, I am willing to die to give you the chance to do it.”

“Perhaps you are, but are they?” Alice demanded, gesturing broadly to the crew.

Dust stepped forward, and nodded. “Yeah. That’s what I’ve dedicated my whole life to doing. If I gotta die so that others can be free…that’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

There was silence after that for a long moment, then Lan cleared her throat. “I’ll be honest…life sucks. Like yeah, we keep on trying and living, but the world is dying. Everyone’s out to get as many credits as they can before the end, but we all know it’s coming. It’s pointless and stupid in the end. But…but if there were actually hope to make things better? Yeah. I guess if you gotta go…that’s something worth dying for.”

The rest of the crew silently nodded. One man stood up and saluted Alice, then spoke. “I got a family back home. I earn enough to keep them fed and clothed, but I know that there isn’t any hope for my kids when they grow up. If I could give them that, give them you…yeah. I’d be worth it.”

Tears were running down Alice’s cheeks now, but she nodded. “I see. Captain Luna, what is your plan?”

Luna sighed heavily. “We have to get you out on the Faitifore. We’ll give you as much cover as we can. We’ll make enough noise that they won’t see you leave.”

“I see.” Alice turned to Dust, ignoring her still damp cheeks. “Can you do this, Sir Dust?”

“I mean, technically, yeah. The Faitifore’s got a seriously good stealth system, but we don’t have a pilot. Taylor’s dead, and while Rin or I could fly if we have to…we’re not on his level.”

“Can you fly?” Alice asked Kazuma seriously

As much as he wanted to say yes, he shook his head. “I’ve never flown a real ship. Rin or Dust would be a better bet than me.”

“Very well. Captain Luna, we require your best pilot,” Alice said, turning to Luna.

“Lan,” Luna said instantly, and several heads nodded.

For her part, Lan looked relieved, but also nervous. “I mean, it’d be pretty shitty of me to leave after saying all that stuff about being willing to die…”

“You’re the best hope of them getting to the surface alive. True or not?” Luna asked the younger woman.

“I mean…Frostflower is pretty good,” Lan said hesitantly.

“She never worked as a smuggler, and you did,” Luna said firmly. “It has to be you.”

“I…” Lan licked her lips and looked to Alice, her expression absolutely miserable.

“Any blame is mine, Lan. I command you to act as my pilot and to help me escape. I am the one abandoning this ship, not you.”

Lan looked incredibly grateful at the words and hastily stood. “I’ll go prep the ship then. Come on, Dust. You know the old girl better than me.”

“Wait,” Alice said, stepping forward. Lan paused, looking uncertain and fearful, but Alice gestured. “Kneel.”

Slowly, Lan did so, and Alice drew her machete. It had been heavily used but had been reforged in the Guild Hauler’s machine shop. Now it looked like an actual sword, more of a saber than the long knife it had been before. It was all of black metal, sharpened to a lethal cutting edge, and with a metal hilt wrapped in a rubber grip. She tapped the flat of the blade on Lan’s shoulder and chanted, “Grant Status.”

Lan gasped, her eyes going wide, and a small spaceship made of light flew around her head.

“I grant you the Unique Class of Pilot; may you fly ever towards freedom, and serve Us well,” Alice pronounced. “Now rise, Pilot, and go to your steed.”

Slowly, Lan stood on shaky legs. “Yes, your Grace.” Then she ran to Luna, embraced her, and ran off, her body shaking slightly.

“I, uh…should I go see to her?” Dust asked awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’ll do it. And check the ship,” Lolisa said. “We don’t have much time.”

After one last farewell to the bridge crew, Alice headed down as well. She paused on the way to Grant Status to a few key ship’s officers and several of the marines, and Kazuma asked her why she couldn’t do it for everyone.

“Truth be told, I am near my limit already,” Alice admitted quietly. “Granting someone status takes a considerable amount of mana. My reserves are vast, but not unlimited.”

“Good to know. You got enough juice left if we get in a scrap?” Kazuma asked.

Alice nodded. “Yes. I have made sure not to do so much as to endanger myself. If I did, their sacrifice would be for naught.”

Once they were aboard, Rin and Keith came and informed them of some bad news. “We found a tracking device on the ship. Two, actually. I think we got both of them, but I’m not sure.”

“They must have planted it when they came into the hold and killed Taylor, the fuckers,” Keith said with a disgusted shake of his head.

“Why do that though?” Lan asked, looking concerned. “Why not just sabotage the ship?”

“The Flesh Shaper is wiley, and knows I am here,” Alice said, her expression grim. “She would not let a prize go so easily.”

“My guess too,” Rin said, shaking her head in disgust. “There’s still a bounty out on my and Lolisa’s heads.”

“Sylvia and Vanir are jealous and dangerous. Don’t underestimate either,” Lolisa said quietly. “I think Sylvia knew what was going to happen to Belzerg, and somehow figured out to make Discord bloom instead.”

Kazuma’s blood ran cold. “The tanks. The tanks were extracting mana…She has to get Alice back. Without her…”

Lolisa looked pained as well, and nodded in agreement. “Discord dies. I think you’re right. It explains a lot. I never really thought about it before. I was too busy…” She absently put a hand to the back of her neck and winced.

“Much evil was done, even to the former allies of the Devil King. I am glad you fight on our side now, Lolisa,” Alice said gently.

Lolisa looked down, blushing. “Thank you, Your Grace. I never thought I’d swear loyalty to a Belzerg, but…honestly, this feels like the first good thing I’ve done in maybe my whole life. And I’ve been alive a very long time.”

After that, Lan finished her checks, and pronounced the ship ready to fly. “I can sort of feel the ship. I have some, uh, weird things I can do now, and it’s like jacking into the ship, but more? Anyway, the ship says she’s fine and wants to make her papa proud.”

“Fatifore can talk?” Dust asked, blinking in perplexity.

“Sort of? It’s more of a feeling,” Lan said, looking uncertain. “I’m not used to this magic stuff. But, well, color me surprised you treated your ship right, Dust.”

Tears filled Dust’s eyes, and he patted a bulkhead affectionately. “You tell my baby girl daddy’s proud, and we’re almost home. She’s done so good. Just a little more.”

“Wow, just when I think you couldn’t be more of a moron,” Keith said with a snort. “Seriously? It’s a ship, Dust. Not a person.”

“She says thank you, and that she doesn’t like Keith because he’s an asshole. Or, well, a ‘big jerk’. I’m not really sure, it’s more emotions than words. It feels like she just woke up honestly,” Lan said, furrowing her brow.

“What a bunch of freaking clowns. Come on, let’s get going. I don’t wanna die today,” Keith said, and turned to go see to some tasks.

“What a freaking asshole,” Kazuma grumbled, not bothering to lower his voice. Keith stiffened but ignored him. “Oh, sorry, Alice.”

“He has not made himself overly endeared to Us either,” Alice sniffed. “Come, Rin. Is there aught I can do to help prepare for our departure?

Dust went to the cockpit with Lan, which left Kazuma in the hold with Lolisa as the hatch sealed and the ship's engines warmed up. He glanced at her, then looked away. Succubi were universally smoking hot, and Lolisa hit all the right buttons for him. She had a cute, sort of ‘girl next door’ vibe, looking more wholesome than Sex on Legs like a lot of succubi did. Still, he didn’t know how to talk to women, and the idea of being around a cute succubus made him nervous.

“I, um, I wanted to apologize,” Lolisa said, glancing at Kazuma. She blushed, and wiped the corner of her mouth. “I…I don’t mean to hit you with the whammy. Sorry. It’s just…It’s been so long since I had mana, and I’m so hungry…”

“We’ve got plenty of food, why don’t you get something to eat? I’ll join you,” Kazuma offered, then kicked himself. She was so out of his league.

“I, ah, I’m not that kind of hungry. You, er…you might call it horny,” Lolisa said, looking away from Kazuma and hugging herself. “And I can’t. I’d lose control. I know it. I…I remember the last man I really took, and…it still makes me sick to think about it. I…I liked Richard. But I was starving. He was willing, but…it’s not fair. Not right. I…I won’t…I can’t…not when there’s real hope for you mortals again.”

“Wait, so you mean…” things slowly ticked over Kazuma’s mind, and he blushed. “Oh, uh, I didn’t realize. Is it like Rin and Dust? I mean, I’m not actually volunteering! It’s just, I mean, you’re cute, but-”

“Kazuma. Please. Stop. I…I can be your friend. That’s all. I fed off the prisoners we captured. It’s not the same as actually taking a man, but…I won’t starve,” Lolisa said, shuddering, her back still to him. “And trust me. You don’t want anything to do with me.”

“Why, because you’re chipped?” Kazuma asked, feeling himself flush. “Fuck those guys. You’re not worthless because of what they did to you. They would have done it to all of us if they thought they could make two credits more than if they didn't.”

“No, it’s…” Lolisa half turned, her expression pained. “You don’t know what I am, do you?”

“You’re a succubus,” Kazuma said, frowning in confusion. “Right?”

“You don’t know what that means. I…” she licked her lips. “I’m sorry. Please. I need…I can’t…” She turned around and fled. Kazuma half raised his hand and almost spoke, but then he lowered his hand back to his side.

What was the point? He was just some loser. At least she hadn’t told him he was disgusting. Friends was something, right?

“You keep telling yourself that,” Kazuma muttered, and went to see if he could be helpful. Not that he expected a janitor’s skills would be much use.

The Faitifore departed the Guild Hauler without much fanfare, sliding out of the compartment along with a great deal of cargo. It was supposed to look like the ship was getting rid of any excess mass to allow for better maneuverability during combat, something Lan said a lot of other ships were doing.

“It’s technically against corporate regulations, but in a brawl like this, people are getting desperate. A lot of old grudges, and a lot of money to be made salvaging hulks,” Lan said with a shake of her head. “So damn stupid and greedy. The whole world is crazy.”

After a short time, Lan ignited their engines, there wouldn’t be much in the way of visible light emitted, or a radiation signature. They were in the wash of the Guild Hauler’s much more massive and “noisy” engines, and with the battle going on, the small emissions that the Faitifore put out would be essentially invisible.

They pulled away from the impending battle, and Kazuma wished he could send one last farewell to Luna and the others, but it was impossible.

“Eris, Lady of Fortune, watch over your sons and daughters this day. Give them luck in battle, and misfortune to their foes. Let your light guide us through this dark night, that the next day might dawn the brighter,” Alice prayed, her voice soft, but firm.

It wasn’t like any of the prayers Kazuma had heard before. Prayers to Regina, the deity of the Church of Serenity, always involved some sort of transaction. You also basically had to pay off a priest to even have a hope that Regina would hear you, and the requests she granted were nearly always nasty. Prayers were said in spite and anger, not hope. Kazuma had to admit, he liked this sort better, even if he wasn’t one to pray.

“Hold together, Luna, hold together,” Dust whispered, pumping his fist in the direction they’d come from.

Over the next hour, the battle unfolded. Slowly at first, a few long-range pot shots as the parties slowly danced together, the Guild Hauler trying to flee, the enemy trying to cut them off. They were coming in at an oblique angle, one that would give them maximum time on their intercept to really maul the Guild Hauler.

Then the smaller craft surged forward, most of them blotted out by the Guild Hauler. A few made contact, but there was no sign of what happened aboard, aside from one small explosion that blew out a compartment. It was nail biting stuff, and Kazuma knew that the worst was yet to come.

Then, the other highliners got into range. The first was a Santomon ship, one that was even bigger than the Guild Hauler by almost 100 meters. It was bulkier as well, and its massive railgun’s first shot tore a huge chunk out of the Guild Hauler. The ship, already damaged, limped on, and returned fire. The slugging match continued at extreme range for several agonizing minutes, until suddenly, a massive fireball bloomed from the Santomon ship, and it cracked in half.

“They hit life support!” Dust cheered, and the crew of the Faitifore whooped in excitement. The Guild Hauler was continuing on, damaged, but alive.

Then the two NyteTech highliners found their range. The barrage of fire they exchanged was brutal, and this time, the Guild Hauler was just too damaged. She was losing acceleration, half her weapons were destroyed or offline, and the ship looked like it had been put through a blender. Kazuma felt his heart sink, as the ship slowly died.

Then, a transmission came, and Lan put it on screen. It was Luna, and she was singing, belting out a song while she stood on her bridge, fire and dead crewmembers all around her.

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Suddenly, the Guild Hauler swung about on a crazy turn that practically ripped the ship in half. Luna yelled in triumph, her song cutting off as the compartment was breached.

“What’s she doing!?” Dust shouted, holding a sobbing Rin tight in his arms. Kazuma was crying too, holding on to Alice as she wept into his chest as well.

“Winning,” Lan said grimly. “Damn. You did it, you crazy bitch.”

As Kazuma watched, the two other ships tried to turn, but their battle had brought them close to the Guild Hauler. The sudden turn had torn the ship in half and killed her, but Luna had known what she was doing. The front half of the ship headed right for one of the NyteTech ships, which dodged out of the way, made easy by the crazy spin of the wreck.

But the rear half still had power somehow, and shot forward with its lower mass, right for the other highliner. It too tried to dodge, but it was going too fast, and was too close. The aft of the Guild Hauler plowed into the NyteTech ship, and for an instant, a new star bloomed in the sky as the ships slammed into one another and vaporized. It was so bright the display automatically dimmed, and the canopy shuttered itself to block out the glare.

When it faded, the Guild Hauler was completely gone, and the second NyteTech highliner was limping away, losing power and venting atmosphere from dozens of damaged compartments.

“She did it. We’re home free,” Lan rasped, sniffing and wiping her nose on her sleeve. “Rest in pieces, you bastards. Thanks, Captain.”

There was a moment of silence as Kazuma and the others mournfully watched the display, then he jerked. The surviving enemy ships were changing course. Right for the Faitifore.

“It’s a coincidence, right?” Kazuma asked nervously.

“They’re probably just aiming for Belzerg like us. I’ll alter course slightly, they’ll miss us by a million clicks,” Lan said confidently, and altered their trajectory.

But the enemy ships matched the course correction, and Lan swore.

“Fuck. They’re after us. How do they see us?! How-”

She stiffened. “Faitifor says someone’s broadcasting onboard!” She looked around wildly. “There’s a stowaway!”

Dust and Kazuma darted from the cockpit, but even as they did so, they heard a cry of pain.

“YOU ASSHOLE!” Lolisa shrieked. A moment later, they found her with Keith pinned to the wall, a small transceiver in her hands.

“Keith!?” Dust gasped. “What-”

“Fuck you all!” Keith laughed. “You’re a loser Dust! You always bet on the wrong side! And fuck you, bitch! You should have let me have my reward! I’ll make sure they turn your chip on, and give you to me as my-”

“Keith,” Lolisa said, her voice suddenly reverberating slightly. Kazuma and Dust staggered, both of them moaning, but not as much as Keith, who was staring at Lolisa, drooling. She kissed him, full on the lips, and Kazuma felt a surge of anger and jealousy. Why wasn’t that him?!

“Keith. You love me, right?” Lolisa crooned, stroking his cheek. “Tell me. What did you do?”

“M-made a deal,” Keith stammered. “A-Alice and K-kazuma. They wanted both. S-sold them out, promised me a b-billion each. I’ll live like a king…”

“But why?” Dust groaned, panting and wiping his forehead as his sweat floated away in the microgravity. “We were friends…”

“You should have shared Rin,” Keith said dully. “Or let me have Lolisa. Not fair you got all the-”

Dust sprang off the bulkhead, his fist slamming into Keith’s jaw so hard blood, spittle, and a tooth came out. “THEY’RE FREE, YOU BASTARD! THEY CHOOSE! BECAUSE WE CAN SAY NO! THEY CAN’T!”

“Uck ‘oo. Self-righteous prick!” Keith spat, blood and foam spraying. “I’ll be ‘ich, and you’ll be-”

Lolisa pulled Keith to her, and kissed him again, more deeply. Kazuma felt that raging jealousy, and found himself floating forward, wanting Lolisa to do that to him.

Then he saw Keith deflating. His skin lost its color, and he started to age and shrivel up, his hair floating away as it turned gray. Starting, Kazuma jerked back, horrified. Lolisa saw, and pulled herself off of Keith, panting. There was a wet spot on Keith’s pants, and Kazuma was pretty sure the other man hadn’t wet himself. He was moaning in pleasure, reaching for Lolisa.

“That’s right. More. Give me more. I deserve it,” Keith croaked.

“No. I’m not going to dirty myself by eating you,” Lolisa spat. She pushed herself away from Keith. “Throw him out the airlock, but I’m not eating him. I’m done with that.”

Suddenly, Lolisa saying she was horny and hungry was a lot more ominous sounding in Kazuma’s head, and he shied away from her. She saw, and tears filled her eyes. “I wouldn’t…not to you! You have to believe me! I…oh hell…I’m a demon! STAY AWAY FROM ME!” With a flap of her wings, she shot out of the compartment.

Kazuma saw Alice in the doorway, watching Lolisa go. The little girl shook her head, uncertain. “I have not seen…she stopped herself. She really has had a change of heart. Odd, to consider a demon more of an ally than this creature.”

Alice moved forward, hovering in front of the mostly insensate Keith. She regarded him for a moment, then looked to Dust. “What does throwing him out the airlock mean?”

“We put him out into space. He’ll be dead in moments,” Dust explained.

Alice nodded. “Activate his transponder, then do so. He will be rewarded as a traitor deserves.”

Feeling sick, Kazuma helped Dust activate the transponder, then towed Keith to an escape pod. They locked the man inside, with Dust giving him a kick for good measure. “More than you deserve, asshole.”

“You gonna kill him first?” Kazuma asked.

Dust hesitated. “No. Besides, it might, you know, have a biometrics signature. Maybe he’ll lead them off us. When they see…maybe they’ll recover him, maybe not. Shit man. He was my friend. Or…I thought he was…”

“Yeah…” Kazuma nodded and hit the eject button. The escape pod shot away, and he said a prayer of his own.

Please, let them follow it.

About 10 minutes later, the enemy ships altered course to track the escape pod. Everyone breathed a long sigh of relief.

“We’re home free,” Lan said, chuckling nervously.

Kazuma felt a sinking sensation. “Please, please tell me you didn’t just trip a flag…”

Half an hour later, a laser shot out, and destroyed the escape pod. And the enemy ships began to close on the Faitifore again. They were less than two hours out.

The Second Archon War, Imperatrix Umbrosa 11

Brought to you early by Korean Writer on Patreon.

America, Kenta decided, was a fantastic place. Ever since he’d gotten his powers, he’d had a hard time getting enough to eat, especially when he went to restaurants. It was a lot easier now that he was an actual Lord, filthy rich, and a superstar, but the Japanese-sized portions for a man who was large by most Western standards even when he wasn’t the size of a building just didn’t cut it. He could easily eat 10,000 calories a day, though the doctors assured him he didn’t actually need that much food. He also felt slightly guilty turning into a dragon and literally eating an entire cow. He wasn’t certain how many calories were in an entire cow, but it had to be a lot.

In America though, Kenta had found his people. When they said ‘All You Can Eat Buffet’ they actually meant it. His first time getting the Cape Sized Meal at WcDonalds in America had been a transcendent experience. He’d eaten two Double Big Wacs, two large fries, two milkshakes, a large soda (three refills), an apple pie, a cherry pie, a fifty-piece WcNugget, and topped it off with a salad.

He was slightly surprised that Tsukoyomi was not terribly interested in WcDonalds, which he’d brought back for Ami, Clara, and of course Keiga. The robot had turned her nose up at the fast food, stating that, “Grease and artificial flavors are the enemies of Eternity.” Another difference between the Original Raiden and Robo-Raiden.

“Perhaps, my lady, but I’ve been craving WcDonald’s fries,” Keiga said, stealing another one of Kenta’s. It had actually been at her request that Kenta had left the hotel to get some. She’d been unusually hungry lately, which Kenta attributed to the long days of travel they’d had over the past couple of weeks. First a stay in the Philippines, then a trip to Ottawa in Canada where Raiden had merc’d Heartbreaker.

Not that Kenta, or really anyone else, had been overly broken up about Raiden killing the man. No one was calling it murder: Heartbreaker was a known Villain who used his Master powers to brainwash and rape women. The Canadian Prime Minister had actually apologized to Raiden for the bother.

It was sort of remarkable that Kenta had coached Tsukuyomi through a meeting with the American President Bradley the day before. They’d spent the morning in serious political talks, while Kenta and Keiga had met with the Elite: Alexandria, Legend, Hero, and Eidolon. The PRT capes hadn’t even really talked down to Kenta, except Eidolon who was an arrogant bastard, and instead treated both him and Keiga more or less as equals.

Kenta had always thought he was strong, but he was just now realizing that Legend, the man who could fire more lasers than the Death Star, saw Kenta as an equal both in power and in influence on the global Cape Scene. They’d hammered out a plan for cooperation between the Sentai and the PRT in Endbringer or other S Class Threat responses in both SEA and the Americas. Raiden was still off the table, but Mushu was now someone that Legend had on his proverbial speed dial in case there was a nasty even he couldn’t handle, and Kenta had a direct line to Legend.

It felt a bit surreal.

There was also another meeting soon, a private meeting with just Kenta, Raiden, Director Costa-Brown, and someone called ‘Asset Tyche.’ That was the meeting Kenta was nervous about. Because he was pretty sure he knew the topic of discussion: Scion.

He let out a sonorous belch, which earned him a look of disgust from Keiga and Tsukuyomi, and giggles from Ami and Clara. They should have brought Jugan with them: he appreciated a good belch.

“It’s about time for the meeting, let me get changed,” Kenta said, standing to head to his and Keiga’s room.

“Very well,” Tsukuyomi said, and her form rippled. She had been in her ‘Teenage Raiden’ form, which she seemed to prefer in private settings. She had declared that as Kenta’s Lady Keiga counted as a part of the select few who were allowed to know the truth. She went back to looking like Raiden, though she was still wearing a black t-shirt and gym shorts, another difference from her mother who almost always wore more traditional Japanese garb when left to her own devices.

Though like her mother, Raiden Jr. didn’t wait for Kenta to leave the room before she started disrobing.

Kenta changed into a formal kimono with his symbols of office on them, and buckled on his swords. Keiga lay down with a hand on her forehead, groaning softly. “I ate too much…why did you let me eat too much?”

“That’s what you get for stealing my fries,” he teased and kissed her on the lips. She pulled him down for a longer kiss than he’d meant to give, but he didn’t mind. “Get some rest, this will probably be a long meeting.”

“Hmm. Don’t eat the PRT director or let Tsukuyomi kill anyone,” Keiga told him, then rolled over as he left.

The meeting was in another hotel room, one that Kenta had been told was ‘secure.’ He personally didn’t give a rat's ass about any of that, since as far as he was concerned any building that had Raiden in it, either one, was instantly more secure than any other place on Earth.

There were two men in stereotypical “secret agent” uniforms outside the door with guns, which Kenta found amusing. The last time someone had shot him had been annoying, but only because he had to pick the lead out of his teeth when he’d accidentally bit the bullet. That was the first and last time he tried pulling off a move from a Yakuza film. Tsukuyomi probably wouldn’t even notice if someone shot her.

Inside was a single table with four chairs around it, two of them already occupied. The first by a woman in a suit, tie, and hat, the second by-

“I thought we were meeting with the PRT Director,” Kenta rumbled as he took a seat. “Why are you here, Alexandria?”

Alexandria looked at him sideways for a moment. “I’m Director Rebecca Costa-Brown. This is Asset Tyche.”

Kenta blinked. “Am I not supposed to know that Alexandria is the Director of the PRT? Because you smell the same.”

“Physical appearances mean little when each person’s soul is unique,” Raiden agreed, taking a seat herself. “Do not attempt to veil yourself, mortal. My eyes see far.”

“I could have told you it wouldn’t work,” Tyche told Alexandria. She was reading…was that Dragonball? The pictures were the same, but the words were in English, which Kenta still wasn’t all that fluent in. His accent wasn’t too bad he thought, but he’d never been a big reader anyway.

“Thank you, Tyche,” Alexandria sighed. She took off her glasses and frowned at Kenta. “It’s impolite to just ignore someone’s secret identity, you know.”

“My secret identity is that I’m actually Lord Kenta Wang, big high muscle man of the Sentai. But secretly, I’m also Mushu, big high muscle man of the Sentai. I see you use the same disguise,” Kenta said, giving Alexandria his very best shit-eating grin. The kind that drove even Raiden crazy.

Tsukuyomi just sat there, looking at Tyche’s manga. The strange woman held one out. “Would you like to read it?”

“We are not here for leisure. For what purpose did you call this meeting?” Tsukuyomi said without blinking once.

“I think you know,” Alexandria responded. She pointed an accusatory finger at Tsukuyomi. “You are not the Raiden Shogun.”

“Actually, she is. I can confirm it,” Kenta said instantly.

Tyche made a tsking sound. “Technically the truth, but you know what she meant.”

“This is the second time you have made this accusation, mortal. Why?”

Tyche leaned forward, frowning. “Why do you call people mortal? Is it because you can’t remember their names?”

To Kenta’s shock, Tsukuyomi blushed and looked embarrassed. “Names are…ephemeral. Changing. At times they escape my mind.”

“But you're a robot. Don’t robots have perfect memories?” Tyche prompted.

Alexandria jerked back, and Tyche’s eyes widened slightly. Kenta realized he’d just grown about a foot taller and sprouted horns. Strange. Alexandria was on the short mental list called “People I Do Not Want to Fuck With” in Kenta’s mind. He realized then that he was probably on hers as well.

“Explain your accusation,” Kenta growled, snorting just a little bit of lightning.

“You know, I know you’re not going to attack me, but that’s still a little disturbing and scary. You’ve changed a lot since the last time we met,” Tyche mused, looking up at Kenta with a somewhat dreamy expression.

He hesitated. “We…have?”

“Mmhmm. I was there when you triggered, what was it now, five years?”

“Six,” Kenta answered, shrinking slightly and frowning at her. “Yeah…I remember you now…”

“Actually it was five years, eight months, twelve days, seven hours, and…16 minutes!” Tyche said brightly. “Sorry, I’m not usually so precise, I figured the robot would appreciate it.”

“We know,” Alexandria put in before anyone else could respond. She stared at Raiden. “I remember that day when we first met all too well. You don’t…feel…the same as you did then.”

“Also, myself and the other Thinkers at the PRT have analyzed you and we’ve all determined you’re an artificial humanoid. Do you prefer robot or gynoid?” Tyche asked brightly.

Raiden glanced at Kenta out of the corner of her eyes, and he sighed and fully deflated. “Call your mom, kid. She’s the one who needs to determine what happens here.”

“Very well.” Tsukuyomi stood and glanced at the two PRT capes. “I shall draw my weapon, but not to attack. I must open a portal.”

Tyche nodded and leaned back in her chair, apparently at ease, while Alexandria tensed slightly, her eyes narrowing. Tsukuyomi proceeded to draw her sword out from between her breasts, Kenta needed to ask Raiden why the hell she had to do that again, and revealed her glowing blade. She cut open a slice in the air, and a moment later, Ei stepped into the room. She was dressed in a plain kimono that had some grease and soot stains on it and even had a few smudges on her face. She had a glowing, half-finished blade in one hand, though she tossed it back through the portal, where it landed with a hiss in a quenching barrel.

“So. You are perhaps the first mortals to ever uncover my kagemusha and be foolish enough to reveal your knowledge,” Ei stated.

“Question,” Tyche said, raising her hand. Ei blinked in surprise that someone had interrupted her, but nodded to Tyche. “Do you also have a hard time with names?”

Once more, a Raiden blushed. “Names are…ephemeral. Fleeting. At times they escape my mind.”

“That’s almost exactly what she said,” Tyche mused, her brow furrowing. “Interesting. I see…total personality copy…is she…a clone?”

Tsukuyomi glanced at Raiden, the two of them nearly identical still. Kenta snorted. “Relax, kid. If you two keep looking exactly the same it makes my brain hurt.”

Ei nodded her assent, and Tsukuyomi took on what Kenta now thought of as her “natural” form. That got a sharp intake of breath from Alexandria and a thoughtful head tilt from Tyche.

“So, just to be clear, they’re both Raiden,” Kenta said. “It’s more of a-”

“Title. Yes, quite,” Tyche said absently. “But seriously: How? Do you realize this makes you one of the most frightening and powerful Tinkers in existence? She’s…she’s alive, isn’t she? Oh. Yes, yes she is. But she’s not human. Can she reproduce?”

“Sexual intercourse is a crude method of replicating Eternity,” Raiden said in stereo.

“She is my kagemushu, and my daughter, to act in places and ways I cannot,” Ei continued.

“I am capable of channeling my mother’s powers in such a way that I could potentially make an iteration of myself that could be considered a reproduction,” Tsukuyomi added.

Both the Americans looked horrified, but Ei continued, “Yes, but each copy would, in some small way, be lesser. There can be but one Electro Archon.”

Tsukuyomi nodded, her expression blank, until Ei added, “She has not yet fully ascended and embodied an aspect. When she does, she will be complete. That is what my previous projects lacked: a true divine spark of their own.”

“Mother! Are you saying-” Tsukuyomi began, emoting far more than she usually did, but Kenta cut her off.

“That’s real interesting, but are you sure you want to air that out in front of them?” Both Raiden’s shook their heads, so Kenta turned to the Americans. “Look, the point is, she’s not going to make an army of super robot clones and take over the world. Besides, she didn’t need the duplicate to take over the world anyway. If she wanted to, she’d already have done so.”

“Why would I take over the world?” Ei said, sounding amused at the very thought.

“An archon must have their people, and the people their Archon, but no Archon can be for all peoples,” Tsukuyomi agreed.

Tyche’s eyes suddenly went very, very wide, and she started to hyperventilate. Alexandria reacted like a bomb went off, jumping up and floating into the air, but Tyche waved her down. “Sorry, sorry, Thinker overload. I just…wow. OK. So. Robot. Not making an army. That’s good. Great. Next: Scion. Pardon my French, but what the fuck was that?”

Ei looked nonplused, and asked, “Scion?”

On the other hand, Tsukuyomi went stone-faced and said one word: “Sustainer.”

“Ah.” Ei immediately took on the look of a thunderhead. “Do not speak of the matters of gods, mortal, lest you suffer the fate of Khaenri'ah.”

“They know not of Khenri’ah, mother. This is not Teyvat,” Tsukuyomi stated flatly. “Know this, mortals: you speak of a being beyond your ken. Meddle in the affairs of the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles, and you bring only ruin upon yourselves.”

“So, are you Scion’s enemies, or-”

Thunder cracked, so loud that Tyche cried out in pain, and even Alexandria winced. Ei’s eyes were glowing, and Tsukuyomi looked furious. “Do not speak of this further. Dealing with the Sustainer is a matter for the gods, Mortal. Not you.”

Even after that, Tyche couldn’t leave well enough alone. “So, if this Sustainer came to Japan…”

Kenta leaned forward. “Drop it. If the Sustainer comes to Japan, we’ll deal with him. But we’re not picking a fight.”

Tyche brightened at that, while Alexandria looked wary. “Very well. We will not disclose the nature of your…daughter, Raiden.”

“And we won’t antagonize the Sustainer,” Tyche added. “We need all the time to deal with them that we can get.”

“Good. Pray that such a conflict does not arise in your lifetime,” Ei said. Pain washed over her face, and Kenta knew she was thinking of her fallen sister. “The consequences are more dire than you can fathom.”

“I think we’re done here then. Ei promises not to pull a Dr. Gero, and we all promise not to hack off the golden ticking timebomb,” Kenta said, rising to his own feet.

Ei nodded, then turned to Tsukuyomi. “You have done well so far. Continue in your efforts to sooth the mortal leaders. Japan needs allies and peace. Not enemies and war.”

“Aren’t you, like, a war god though?” Tyche asked, inserting herself into the aside.

Ei regarded her flatly. “I am one of the three greatest Martial Paragons to ever live. But I am not the Pyro Archon. War is the enemy of Eternity.” Then she opened a portal, and vanished into it.

The moment her mother disappeared, Tsukuyomi resumed her disguise. “Farwell, mortals. We will hold to our treaties: Should the demons known as Endbringers assail you, the Sentai will respond.”

“And what about heaven itself?” Tyche asked.

Kenta paused, as did Raiden. She turned her back, opening the door. “If you incur the Wrath of Heaven upon your lands, not even the gods can save you. This, I have learned to my sorrow.”

After bidding Tsukuyomi goodnight, Kenta went back to his and Keiga’s room and held her tight. He wasn’t certain what the future was going to bring, but he would do his best to bring about Raiden’s Eternity.

After all: now he had something, someone, worth preserving.

The room was dead quiet, save for the soft hum of the fan, and the white noise that Alexandria was fairly certain no one else could hear that was emitted by the devices to prevent eavesdropping, electronic or physical. Eidolon was using some Trump power to keep Thinkers or Strangers from getting information out of this meeting they shouldn’t.

Alexandria and Contessa had just finished their report, and the four others in the room were silent, and still. Doctor Mother looked pensive and thoughtful, and more than a little disturbed as she leaned on her desk. Alexandria sat next to Wyatte on the gray couch, her legs and arms crossed, feeling uncomfortable.

Legend was rubbing his chin, his head lowered in deep thought as he sat on an office chair to the side. Eidolon’s jaw was tight, and he looked like he’d just sucked on a lemon, though that was close enough to his usual expression that didn’t tell Alexandria much. Contessa was looking off into the middle distance with a dreamy expression on her face, spinning her hat on her index finger.

One person, however, was smiling. Wyatte was looking around with a cheeky grin and a twinkle in his eye. After about thirty seconds, he couldn’t help himself anymore, Alexandria could tell.

“Don’t say it,” she sighed, swatting him on the leg. Gently, of course. She’d learned how breakable everyone else was a long time ago.

“I wasn’t going to say ‘I told you so,’ but aren’t you at least excited about what this means?” Wyatte asked, looking around the room.

“Doesn’t mean shit,” Eidolon growled. “She’s delusional. Powerful and nuts. Quite the combination.”

“She doesn’t act insane,” Legend said, looking up with a frown. “Her policies have been surprisingly rational. She’s opened Japan up to immigration. Created infrastructure. Expanded manufacturing. Established the most peaceful and least crime-ridden country on the planet. Those aren’t the actions of a warlord with a god complex who’s gone mad with power.”

With a tilt of her finger, Contessa sent her hat spinning through the air to land perfectly on her head. That was either an impressive trick or an obnoxious display of her power. It was almost impossible to tell most of the time. “I can tell you that she thinks she’s a god, and so does Mushu.”

Alexandria felt a pang of gratitude that Contessa didn’t add that Alexandria was increasingly becoming an agnostic instead of an atheist. Because it was a near certainty that Contessa knew that, and why.

“God or not, she’s not a cape, is she?” Wyatte demanded, looking around at the others.

“She’s not more powerful than we are,” Eidolon growled. “If she makes herself a problem, we can take her.”

“Can we?” Legend asked, leaning forward and interlacing his fingers before him. “She took out an Endbringer. We haven’t managed that, not even together.”

“She’s a hazard, but one that’s increasingly likely to be on our side,” Doctor Mother said, leaning back in her chair and looking up at the ceiling. “Think about it: she has universally responded to Scion with guarded hostility. And Scion seems to consider her worth noticing.”

“He can’t think she’s a threat. If he did, he’d have taken her out already. Right?” Alexandria asked, turning to Contessa.

“Possibly? Probably? Ugh, how can people go through life not KNOWING things?! It’s so frustrating!” Contessa groaned, rubbing her knuckles on her forehead in irritation. “I can’t get any answers about her! Well, that’s an exaggeration: I can get SOME answers. Almost all of them amount to: Stay the hell away from her.”

“Could you take her in a fight?” Doctor Mother asked, tilting her head forward to regard Contessa.

Contessa shrugged. “The answer I get when I ask how to beat her is the same I get when I ask how to beat David: Don’t fight her.”

“Could I beat her?” Eidolon asked, leaning forward, his gaze intense.

Again, Contessa shrugged. “Maybe? Based on what we’ve seen, you have a shot. But not a good one. I ask that question every time I get new information on her, and the answer varies somewhere between an even fight and one barely tilted in either of your’s favor. About the same as when I ask if you can beat an Endbringer. But just like you or an Endbringer, I am working with an incomplete picture, and I haven’t the slightest clue how much of one.”

“Yeah. Not to brag, but I’m the best Tinker around. Or at least, I was. I am 100% not the best Tinker anymore,” Wyatte said, spreading his hands in a gesture of helplessness. “Raiden built a robot duplicate of herself that’s so good no one can even tell. It even uses her powers to the same degree that barely anyone noticed, and by that, I mean it was literally just Contessa which is sort of cheating.”

“Speaking of, we have the autopsy on Heartbreaker,” Doctor Mother said, pulling out a folder and tossing it onto her desk.

“Cause of Death: Being a son of a bitch,” Wyatte growled.

“Unfortunately, the gunshot to the head did cause a great deal of damage. But, with our best Thinkers on the job, we were able to do some reconstruction.” Doctor Mother pulled out a photo and held it up for them to see. “His Corona Pollentia was severed. His brain was bleeding slightly before he died, though it seems likely he would have recovered otherwise.”

“So, she cut out his powers?” Legend asked. “Interesting.”

“No. She destroyed his Passenger,” Contessa said.

All eyes turned to her, and she grimaced. “Based on what Scion said, his reaction, and what we know of Raiden’s ability to cut between dimensions and the fabric of space-time…she attacked the Passenger directly. The slight bleeding on the brain was the damage from having that destroyed.”

“That’s…that’s insane,” Alexandria gasped, feeling the bottom drop out of her stomach. Wyatte put an arm around her, and she leaned into him. Not even she could defend against that.

“Basically everything we know about Raiden is totally insane. Off of this, it seems she can modify or alter Passengers as well. That’s what happened to Lung when he became Mushu. His draconic form looks entirely different, and seems to operate on an entirely different principle now,” Doctor Mother said, pulling out a folder on Mushu and showing pictures of his battle with Leviathan, and later ones. He’d gone from a Western Dragon to an Eastern one. And he’d lost the flame powers and gained Lightning ones.

“So what about this doesn’t say ‘god’ to all of you?” Wyatte demanded. “She talks to Scion like she knows what he is, and that he’s her equal.”

“Not her equal,” Contessa corrected. “She’s deferential to him.”

Wyatte waved that away. “Ok, well, not her equal, but like they’re at least on the same playing field. And Scion stays away from her! We have the satellite footage: he won’t even fly over the Desolation or Japanese Territorial Waters. And the Endbringers have been ostentatiously staying out of her path as well.”

“And she stays away from them. Like she’s trying not to provoke him,” Legend mused.

“And more importantly: like he’s trying not to provoke her,” Doctor Mother said firmly.

Alexandria nodded, feeling the first ray of hope. “And if he doesn’t want to provoke her…”

“It’s because she can hurt him,” Wyatte finished.

They all sat in silence again, though this time, all eyes turned to Contessa.

In response, she dug into her pocket, and pulled out a Magic 8 Ball. She shook it, then held up the answer. “Reply Hazy, try again later.”

Even Contessa winced at the cold glares she got in response, though Wyatte was fighting back a smile.

“Sorry, I thought that would be better than just saying ‘I don’t know’ again, but I guess that comes off as tacky,” Contessa sighed, tossing the 8 Ball in the trash. “But you’re going to get as good an answer from that as me. Or at least it feels that way.”

“Change the wording on our assessment of Raiden,” Doctor Mother said quietly. “Lethal force is no longer authorized under any circumstance.”

“Tell that to her,” Eidolon growled, but stood. “We’ve wasted enough time. She’s still a wild card.”

“But at least she’s a card,” Legend said, clapping Eidolon on the back.

“And that’s something,” Alexandria agreed and smiled at Wyatte. He squeezed her hand.

Maybe, just maybe, they could save the world after all.

Author’s Note:

I know that people actually having a conversation with one another like real adults goes against all of Worm Canon, but you can only write thick idiots for so long before it becomes grating.

Unless you’re talking about the other kind of thick that Raiden is, then it’s just funny.

Legend of Galactic Zeroes, Chapter 21

Fortified with enough cookies to make even Darkness feel slightly bloated, the traveling circus headed further into the town. Unfortunately for them, they had shown themselves to be easy marks, and were now assaulted on all sides.

“Get your freshly sharpened, genuine Adamantoise Kitchen knives! Handcrafted by dwarven engineers, they can cut through anything, even a frozen watermelon!”

“Ladies, can I interest you in some genuine diamond jewelry? These fine pieces come with a certificate of authenticity, and are guaranteed to become a family heirloom!”

“Real DVDs, only 300 credits each! Get high-quality titles like The Wicker Tree, The Return of Jafar, and Carlito’s Way: Rise to Power!”

“Snowcones! Get your snow cones! Fresh, lemon-flavored snow cones!”

Everyone stopped and looked at the snowcone seller, who blushed. “What? It really is lemon flavor! I have banana, too.”

“Is it still yellow?” Kazuma demanded.

“Well, yes…I just sold out of cherry and blue raspberry.”

“Why is raspberry flavor blue?” Darkness mused.

“It’s actually from harvesting smurfs, they taste just like raspberries,” Kazuma told Darkness.

She looked confused by that, but Chris pushed them all past the clamoring sellers. “We don’t need any of it! We’re on a mission! Now scram, shoo! Buzz off! Megumin, we’re not buying a variety of fashionable eyepatches!”

“But that one glows in the dark!” Megumin protested and Chris hauled her away.

“Doesn’t that completely eliminate the point of an eye patch?” Kazuma asked, prompting a puzzled look from Megumin.

“What?! No! The glow in the dark looks especially cool!”

“...don’t you wear an eyepatch to preserve your night vision?”

“No, I wear them as a cultural expression and because people with eye patches are inherently more mysterious and badass!”

“Chuuni,” Kazuma muttered, though he was smiling when he said it. When Megumin glared at him, he told her, “It’s a pet name.”

That made her brighten immediately. “Ha! I have attained the first pet name, clearly marking me as the frontrunner in this race!”

“Technically, I think we’ve all crossed the finish line. Now will you people buzz off!?” Chris demanded, shoving a man trying to sell her a life insurance policy. “I’m immortal! I don’t NEED a life insurance policy!”

“But what about your companions? Just imagine when they kick the bucket a century from now! You can collect a cool 100,000,000 credits each!”

Chris paused for a moment, obviously considering it, until Darkness picked her up under one arm. “We’re covered under my family's insurance policy. You don’t need it.”

“You took out a life insurance policy on me?!” Chris asked, sounding offended. “Don’t you have any faith in my skills!?”

“And here I thought you were the only one to actually read the contracts I gave you when I recruited you as insurance adjusters,” Darkness said with a heavy sigh, plowing her way through the sales pitchers.

Kazuma glanced at Megumin, then at the life insurance salesman.

“If you buy one, I’m kicking you out of the harem,” Megumin informed him. Kazuma wasn’t certain that she actually had that ability, but he wasn’t risking it. So he passed for now and made a mental note to take out a life insurance policy on himself for the next time he died.

Darkness led them to a quaint little shop, the only one in fact that didn’t have a neon sign on the entire drag. Instead, it had a charming little hand-painted sign, and was built out of sturdier wood and brick compared to the quick plastic and prefab the rest of the town was made of. There were little gingerbread ornaments in the window, along with a Chris-mas Tree and snowman. There was even a little nativity, though for some reason, Christ had silver hair.

Once Kazuma was inside, Darkness slammed the door, and then set Chris down. “I’m not your luggage, you know,” Chris said, dusting herself off. She glanced around the shop, frowning slightly. “I was expecting an adult store of some sort, this looks like a tourist kitsch place.

“It was the only place that looked like it might not be full of those vultures,” Darkness said, peering out through the frosted glass window at the mob that seemed to be waiting for them to leave.

“This doesn’t look like a weapons shop,” Megumin complained, going over to examine some of the goods. She picked up a box that said ‘Bathe and Brew Coffee Maker’ which showed a woman in the shower enjoying a cup of coffee, with the coffee maker underneath the shower head.

“Something about this place doesn’t feel right,” Chris declared, her eyes narrowing as she looked over the shop. Kazuma wasn’t sure what the problem was. He heard the dulcet tones of Bing Crosby singing Mele Kalikimaka over the shop’s speakers, and there were Christmas lights and decorations up. There were signs indicating “Holiday Sales!” that all seemed to be hand drawn, with cute figures and pictures. The goods, however…

“A…bicycle seatbelt?” Darkness said, going over to examine another product. “That seems of questionable efficacy.”

Kazuma looked at another table, and picked up a pair of socks, only they had pockets sewn on, complete with little zippers, as well as several pouches. “Cargo socks? Geeze, who shops here? Dads with bad taste?”

Just then, the door to the back of the shop opened, and a woman bustled out. She had long brown hair and warm brown eyes, and most notably, boobs even bigger than Darkness. “Oh? Customers? Welcome! I’m so happy to-”

“DIE!” Chris shrieked, and flew across the shop, a knife appearing in her hand as she went right for the shopkeeper’s throat.

“EEEEEEE!” the poor woman ducked at the last moment, causing Chris to go flying through the open door and slam into a pile of boxes in the back, which tumbled over in a loud crash.

“Chris?!” the other three cried in shock.

“Foul villain! Have at thee!” Megumin declared and lunged for the shopkeeper herself, who let out another scream and started to run around the shop, Megumin hot on her heels.

Darkness went to check on Chris in a panic, while Kazuma stuck out a leg and tripped Megumin, grabbing her by the collar to prevent her from faceplanting. “Right. Someone, please explain to me why we’ve decided that murder is the best solution here.”

“MURDER IS ALWAYS A SOLUTION!” Megumin snarled, struggling against Kazuma’s grip so hard she woke up Chomusuke, who started to yowl.

“I-I’m sorry, w-who are you people?” the shopkeeper whimpered, hiding behind a giant cardboard cutout of Santa Claus.

“I’m Kazuma, the gremlin is Megumin, and Darkness is currently digging Chris out of the pile. Sorry about the mess. Also, who are you again?”

“My name is Wiz. I’m just a shopkeeper! N-no one usually comes into my store…b-but some people have complained about my products…you’re not from the bank, are you? I-I still have enough money in my account to pay for my next shipment, I promise!” the woman said, tears filling her eyes.

At that, Chomusuke stopped yowling, and hopped out of Megumin’s jacket. The little cat walked over to Wiz, who instantly smiled and knelt by it. “Oh! What an adorable kitten! Do you mind if I pet it? I do so love cute little creatures!”

“I will consent to a belly rub,” Chomusuke said, “but only if you explain what you’re doing here, Ice Witch.”

“Chomusuke, we don’t even know her. No calling her a bitch,” Kazuma told the cat. He glared at Megumin. “If I set you down, will you promise not to attempt to murder the nice lady until AFTER we find out what her story is?”

“Do…do I know you?” Wiz asked, hesitating with her hand hovering over the cat.

“Don’t you recognize me? We were generals together for years. I’m hurt you’d forget me,” Chomusuke said, sitting down and glaring up at Wiz.

“KAZUMA, MEGUMIN, GET AWAY FROM HER!” Chris snarled, stalking through the back door, her knife held out before her. “That’s Wiz the Ice Witch!”

The woman started to sniffle and inch back from Chris, picking up Chomusuke and trying to shield the cat behind herself. “What did you do to my poor friend Wolbach!? Why is she a cat!?”

“I killed her,” Megumin said smugly. “And bound her spirit as my familiar.”

“H-how could you!? Wolbach was a lovely woman! She was my friend!” Wiz cried, standing up and glaring at Megumin. “She was such a nice woman!”

“A nice woman who sieged my city and killed my citizens!” Darkness declared, shoving her way past Chris and coming to tower over Wiz.

Wiz wilted, and pulled Chomusuke out from behind her back. “Did you?”

“If you want to make an omelet, you’ve got to commit a few war crimes,” Chomusuke said in a philosophical tone.

To Kazuma’s shock, Wiz snarled in anger, then shifted her grip to hold Chomusuke by the scruff of her neck, and dashed over to a cabinet, where she pulled out a spray bottle, which she proceeded to spritz Chomusuke with. “Bad kitty! Bad! You know how I feel about harming innocent bystanders, Wolbach! How could you?!”

Chomusuke yowled in protest, while the other girls looked on in shock.

“I mean…didn’t she blow up a moon or something?” Kazuma asked, coming over to pull Chomusuke out of Wiz’s hands. “Come on, she’s already been turned into a cat. That’s punishment enough.”

“Ack, pfff, put me down! Ugh, this is why nothing ever gets done!” Chomusuke spluttered. Then let out a yowl when Kazuma dropped her. “Ingrate! If you were not the pet of my new mistress-”

“Enough. Leave my cat alone. I need her to help with weapons designs! Ack! Pff! STOP SPRAYING ME!” Megumin spluttered, putting up her hands as Wiz squirted her.

“You’re not going to go around killing civilians, are you? I won’t allow it!” Wiz declared, giving Megumin another dose for good measure.

“Hey, what’s in that?” Kazuma asked, frowning at the bottle. “That’s not like, acid or something?’

“Oh, I mean, it might be a weak acid? It’s water, with a bit of lemon oil!” Wiz said, holding the bottle up. “I like the scent.”

“Just stand aside, Darkness. I’ll gut the lich like she deserves,” Chris growled, trying to get around Darkness.

“Hold on Chris. She doesn’t seem evil,” Darkness said, frowning. “Are you?”

“Oh, well, um,” Wiz shrank down again, clutching her now mostly empty spray bottle. “I…I guess…a little…”

“She’s an abomination! A soulless undead monstrosity!” Chris raged. “She’s the ICE WITCH! The greatest traitor in all of GF history!”

“Did you used to be a goddess?” Kazuma asked curiously.

“No…I was human, once,” Wiz said, tearing up again. “I-I was recruited by Eris to fight the Devil King, b-but-”

“BUT YOU TURNED TRAITOR!” Chris shouted, stepping forward and pointing her knife at Wiz. “We lost that entire sector!”

“No! No! They’re still alive! They’re doing just fine, I promise!” Wiz said, tears filling her eyes. “I pray every day that Eris will forgive me…but…but I had to…otherwise…” she broke down in tears.

Chris’ eyes narrowed, and she lowered the knife. “What do you mean, they’re still alive? Are they abominations, like you?”

“No…they’re still human,” Wiz sniffled, looking up with puffy red cheeks. “I…I managed to save them, b-but…I had to make a deal…with Vanir…”

“Even WORSE! An alien despot is one thing! But a literal demon?! And you just LET him suck out your soul!” Chris declared, taking another step closer.

“I didn’t have a choice! My mecha was destroyed, my friends were dying, and, and…and it was the only way!” Wiz wailed, sinking to her knees. “I…I did doom other systems, b-but…that one…that one is safe…happy…as long as I’m alive…”

“But you’re not alive, are you.” Chris glowed, her form shifting, and Wiz let out a gasp as Eris appeared. “You’re nothing but metal and dead flesh now. A cyborg, animated by foul technology, a soulless mockery of the woman I once called a friend.”

“E-Eris? Is…is it?” Wiz held out a trembling hand, then snatched it back. She kowtowed, pressing her forehead to the spotless floor, though it did now have a small puddle from her weeping. “I’m sorry! I-I was weak! I just…I couldn’t let…but they still died! I failed!”

Eris stood over Wiz, glaring, while Megumin turned to Darkness. “Did you know she could do that?”

“She did at the party, but I thought it was just an illusion,” Darkness admitted. “It’s still Chris, but…she’s different…”

Glaring down at Wiz, Eris slapped her knife blade into the palm of her left hand. “You did fail. You saved one measly system, and sacrificed how many more by preserving the life of the Space Devil King? You made a compact with Vanir, one of the greatest evils in the universe. And you have the gall to beg for mercy?”

“I don’t ask for mercy…only…can…can you help my new friends?” Wiz asked, looking up, tears still streaming down her face. “I…I’m trying to get Hans to back off, and to help the ones who come to me for aid, but…but I’m not a healer…Please…help them…I can only put so many to rest…”

“What friends?” Eris demanded.

“T-there…in the basement,” Wiz whimpered, pointing towards the back.

“Hold up,” Kazuma said, putting a hand on Chris’ shoulder. “I get you’re pissed, and yeah, if she’s a traitor, that sucks, but she really doesn’t seem evil, or like a threat.”

“You don’t understand, Kazuma!” Eris said, whirling on him and glaring at him, her purple eyes smoldering with rage. “She was one of my recruits! A friend! She took the GF’s technology and gave it to our enemies! So many have died because she was too weak!”

“Let’s at least hear her out and see these friends of hers,” Kazuma said, and bent, helping Wiz up. “Come on. Show us what’s going on.”

“A-alright,” Wiz agreed, and slowly headed for the back, her shoulders slumped, her dress dragging through the puddles she’d made. The others followed her down, Megumin carrying the still wet and grouchy Chomusuke.

Down in the basement, Wiz led them to a large metal door, putting in a code into the keypad. She hesitated before pressing the enter key, glancing at Eris. “You…you have to promise not to just kill them. They’re in pain…they need help…I’ve done what I can, but…”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Eris growled. “Open the door.”

With a wince, Wiz depressed the final button. Instead of a dark, dank dungeon, Kazuma found himself going into a warm and brightly lit room, decorated in bright pastels.

“Momma! You’re back so soon!” a little girl cried, turning around from playing with a young boy. When she turned, Kazuma saw that half her face was flesh, and the other silver metal, with a glowing red eye. The girl didn’t look to be more than four or five, and stood on unsteady legs. One was longer than the other, and she tottered over. The little boy, no more than a toddler, got up as well, though Kazuma could see that both his arms were metal, and the back half of his head too.

“Momma’s back! Momma’s back!” more voices cried, and in all, a dozen children from a boy only a year or two younger than Megumin with a metal jaw and hand, to an infant’s head in a jar.

Kazuma felt sick looking at the children, who crowded around Wiz, all smiling and happy to see her.

“Children, this is…these are my friends! Eris is a very old friend of mine, and these are her companions, Kazuma, Megumin, and Darkness. The cat is a friend of mine too, but please be gentle. No pulling the tail, nice hands.”

Megumin looked shocked as the children looked curiously at the cat. One boy who seemed to be about three came over. Nothing seemed wrong, until he opened his mouth, and an electronic voice came out. “I like cat. Can I pet cat? Please please please.”

“Uh, sure. Be careful, she bites,” Megumin said, extending Chomusuke.

“I do not,” Chomusuke muttered, but the boy was gentle as he stroked her, and Chomusuke was soon purring with a crowd of happy children around her.

“What did you do to them?” Eris demanded, but she sounded more exhausted than angry.

“They…they were already like this. I rescued them from various labs performing illegal cybernetics experiments. They’re…well, they’re stuck like this. I found a way to slow their aging, because…” tears filled Wiz’s eyes, and her tone dropped to a whisper, “If I don’t, they die sooner. No hospitals will help them…I spend all the money I make from my shop to help them. Most of them don’t eat much food, but…their energy and metal requirements…I do what maintenance I can…Please…can you help them?”

Wiz took Eris’ hands in her own. “Even…even if you have to kill me…please help my children…This moon…it’s one of the only places I can hide them. Most people when they see them…they want to…to kill them. They say it’s just to end their suffering, but…they still want to live! They still have life!”

“I…I can’t help them,” Eris said. She slowly shrank, until it was just Chris standing there. “I’ll call Aqua. She can help.”

“Oh! Thank you, thank you,” Wiz cried, grabbing Chris and hugging her tightly. Then she gasped and hastily let Chris go, stepping back. “S-sorry.”

“It’s OK.” Chris turned to the kids and pulled out two green boxes. “Hey kids, ever had a Thin Mint before?”

“Wow,” Kazuma said, watching as Chris doled out every single last cookie to the kids, not even taking one for herself. “Big softy, aren’t you?”

“I haven’t forgiven her,” Chris muttered. “But…well…what kind of person kills a woman who’s looking after a bunch of orphans? Even a bunch of cyborg ones.”

“Yeah, about that.” Kazuma turned to Darkness. “OK, spill. Are people racist against cyborgs or something?”

“Well, cybernetics can be used properly, but, well…it’s largely taboo. Simple prosthetics are fine, but ones like this…they open you up to cyber corruption. Many cyborgs, especially those with neural implants or augmentations, go insane, and become dangerously violent,” Darkness explained. “Usually, if ones like this are found, the prosthetics would be removed, but, um…that might be lethal in some cases here…”

“All of them,” Wiz said quietly. “They’ve all had parts of their central nervous system replaced. “A few are totally robotic, with a human mind uploaded. If they become dangerous, I do have to…to…p-put them to sleep…but that usually only happens if I’m gone for too long…I…I have control systems that keep cyborgs calm. Adults usually fall to corruption anyway, but children are resistant…”

Kazuma was quiet as he watched the little girl with half the robot face happily chew on a cookie. He turned to Chris and Darkness. “Yeah, fuck that. The kids live. And if that means Wiz lives, then so be it.”

“What even happened today,” Chris groaned, putting her head in her hands. “We were supposed to buy weapons and sex toys. Not…this…”

“Don’t talk about that in front of the children!” Wiz hissed. “I have to keep them inside or the townsfolk will corrupt them, even if they hide their cybernetics!”

“Yeah, that tracks,” Kazuma sighed. “These people are all crazy and they would definitely-”

“Hey Wiz! Door was open so I came right on in! You would not believe the parts I scavenged from the off-worlders that crashed! I almost got them to sign away some organs for you to use, but they-” Cecily walked into the room and froze. “Oh, uh. Hi. Um, you guys still want those coupons?”

“AUNTY CECILY!” the children cheered, and several rushed over to hug her.

“Oof! Hey there, munchkins! I got you all some spare parts!” Cecily said happily, holding up a bag bulging with what looked like rather important electronics.

“Hey! Those are from our ship!” Kazuma protested. “You stole them!”

Cecily put a hand over her heart. “Would you deprive these poor children the vital components they need to stave off the cybersickness for just one more week?”

“Uh, no. Sorry. I just-”

“Great! Thanks for the donation! Now come on kids, help Aunty sort these by the most valuable! Someone’s gotta help your idiot mother keep this shop afloat, and keep Aunty in her subscription to the Succubus VR Cafe!”

“Yay!” the children cheered, and went over to help Cecily sort her ill-gotten gains.

The nominal adults turned skeptical gazes to Wiz, who blushed. “Uh, I, ah, I told the children that a succubus is, er…a sort of fairy…she really is the only one who hasn’t tried to kill them when she found out…she’s not that bad…”

“A thief and a monster. Great. Well, I called Aqua, so don’t let her see that your friend stripped the ship before she gets here,” Chris sighed.

“This is heartwarming and so on, but need I remind you all that the giant death slime is still coming?” Megumin demanded. “We must find upgrades for the Wave Motion Explosion cannon, or this moon is doomed. I don’t think those cybernetics will keep the children from being dissolved by poisonous acid.”

“Oh, you have one of those too?” Wiz asked curiously.

Megumin’s head snapped around. “Come again?”

“Oh, well, you know, back in the day, I helped Wolbach field test the Wave Motion Explosion Cannon, after I, um, er…joined the enemy…we, um, we were both traitors…” Wiz admitted.

“She was the first of my apprentices,” Chomusuke said proudly. “Though unlike some people, she actually understood the importance of a balanced loadout.”

Megumin dashed up to Wiz, grabbing her by her apron. “Are you saying…you have an ancient and secret PROTOTYPE!?”

“Well, yes, but it’s very old now, I’m sure the later models-”

“FOOL! Everyone knows that production models are weak and inferior! The older and hidden prototype versions of weapons are ALWAYS the most powerful!” Megumin declared. “Take us to this wondrous and magnificent weapon at ONCE!”

Darkness looked skeptical. “I really don’t think an out of date weapons system is really what we should be looking for.”

“Nah, Megumin’s totally right,” Kazuma said with a shake of his head. “Secret or ancient prototypes are always way better.”

“I knew there was a reason I fell in love with you,” Megumin sighed, looking at Kazuma with dreamy eyes. “You truly do appreciate a finely made weapon.”

“I…I suppose,” Wiz agreed. “Children, make sure that Cecily behaves while I’m gone.”

“Kay!” the kids all chorused.

“Don’t you have that backwards?” Kazuma asked as Wiz led them out of the hidden room.

“No. Definitely not,” Wiz said firmly.

This time, it was up the stairs and back out into the street, where the predators were lurking. One look at Wiz, however, and the crowd let out a groan.

“Not the penniless loser!” someone called.

“And you made fun of me for selling yellow snow! Have you seen what she sells!?”

“The yellow snow is still gross,” Kazuma told him. “Now buzz off, or I’ll make you all buy cargo socks. I hear they’re in fashion this season.”

There were mutters of irritation, but the crowd departed, leaving the street mostly empty, save for several little girls.

“Hello, Miss Chris!” the leader said, holding up a box. “We with the GSCM were wondering if you were in need of-”

“Shut up and take my money,” Chris told them, handing them all of Kazuma’s credits and grabbing the thin mints. She stuffed a cookie into her mouth and sighed. “I needed that hit. Now show us where this hidden weapon is.”

“It’s a bit of a trip,” Wiz said nervously. “What about your friend, Aqua?”

“Right. Fine. I’ll stay,” Chris sighed. “Being around you gives me an ulcer. And I’ll have to explain to Aqua why you’re not Kill On Sight anymore. You guys go find the rusty old weapon.”

Wiz took Kazuma, Darkness, and Megumin around the side of the shop to where a vehicle that resembled an oversized snowmobile waited. They loaded in, and Wiz took off, heading out of town in the opposite direction of where the Axis Queen had fallen.

“Is it hidden in a secret bunker complex!? A forgotten weapons lab?!” Megumin asked excitedly as they sped across the snow and ice. There were pine trees and some other hardy cold weather plants, and Kazuma saw a few white birds and what looked like a rabbit with a pair of antlers, so something lived on this iceball besides the crazies.

“Um, actually, I just stashed it in a cave,” Wiz admitted. “And then sealed it in ice.”

“Sealed away in ice for a thousand years is cool too!”

“That can’t be good for the machine,” Darkness said uncertainly.

“Bah! Everyone knows that if you put something in cryostasis, you merely need to warm up it up for it to be ready, and I have my pocket flamethrower!”

It was about a 20 minute trip, during which Wiz was mostly silent, and Megumin extolled the virtue of the Wave Motion Explosion cannon and Darkness looked worried.

At last, they came to a cliff, down which a frozen waterfall of ice flowed. Wiz parked the snowmobile, and led them to the ice.

“I got it!” Megumin said, pulling out her flamethrower and sending out a jet of flame.

“N-no! I can melt it, don’t worry!” Wiz said hastily. She pressed her hand to the ice, closing her eyes. A pulse of energy came out of her palm, and the ice rippled, then flashed instantly to mist, leaving a hole big enough to walk a mecha through that showed a dark cave beyond.

Quietly, Wiz walked forward. Megumin raced ahead, letting out a gasp of delight. “It looks magnificent! Brilliant! Truly a marvel of engineering!”

“I can’t see a thing,” Kazuma complained.

“I…I’ll make a little light,” Wiz said, and held up a hand. A glowing sphere of soft blue light formed and then lifted up. Soon, the cavern was bathed in a soft blue glow, and Kazuma’s jaw dropped as he looked up.

“Holy shit,” he whispered as he stared up.

The mecha was mostly white, with long legs, a chunky torso that looked vaguely feminine and was painted blue, and a white head with green eyes and two antennae. It carried a truly massive cannon in its right hand, and a shield in the other.

“That’s my old mecha that I rebuilt,” Wiz said quietly. “It’s-”

“You’re the WITCH FROM MERCURY!?” Kazuma gasped, turning around, his eyes glowing. “That’s XVX-016 Gundam Aerial! You have a real live Gundam High Grade!? Do you know badly I’ve wanted a real Gundam for my entire life!? Hell, I basically sold my soul for a model of this exact mecha!”

“Um, they called me the Ice Witch, but Chris gave me the mecha centuries ago,” Wiz said, wincing. “I did call her Aerial…”

“And this is the Wave Motion Explosion Cannon, Model 0000 Alpha! A real secret prototype!” Megumin and Kazuma ran together and embraced. “Do you know what this means?!”

“I get to fuse with a real Gundam,” Kazuma said, his face glistening. “This is the second greatest day of my life!”

“And the greatest will be when we fire the Wave Motion Explosion Cannon together!” Megumin cheered.

“Uh, actually…only I can pilot it,” Wiz said, waving nervously. “You, um, have to be a cyborg…”

“Rip my brain out. Right now. You cannot deny me this,” Megumin demanded.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Darkness cautioned as Kazuma got out a knife to perform the surgery. “Wiz…could this really stop Hans?”

Wiz looked up at the mecha, her expression sorrowful for a moment. Then her hands clenched into fists. “If it will save my children…yes. We’ll do whatever needs to happen.”

“If I fuse with her, it’s not cheating, right?” Kazuma asked Megumin.

“If it gets me the Wave Motion Explosion Cannon, I’ll do to her what Chris did to me last week every night for the rest of my life!” Megumin promised.

“Eh?” Wiz said, backing away slowly.

“Too late,” Darkness told her. “It’s sort of always like this.”