Valefisk

[Mildly Early Access] GAME OF THE YEAR BABY

GAME OF THE YEAR, BABY.

Here's the Somewhere in the Shadow video (finally) as promised. Shame it wasn't RISK Geoguessr, but its still funny all the same.

Hope you guys had a good Christmas SPONSORED BY AMAZON PRIME and I'll see you all in the new year.

The Nature of Failure - A Year in Review.

This post might be a long one, but I've decided to do a bit of self-reflection on the past year and - in particular - the nature of a failed project.

Why? Because after hundreds of hours of work, I've decided to cancel a second massive video right before it was supposed to be released (The first one that was cancelled was of course the Campaign for North Africa video, but you ...

[Early Access] The Game of Life: Made Worse.

The first video for this lovely holiday period is complete. Once again, this video is way too long. Hell, the rough cut of this video was two hours long, which is the longest I've ever had compared to recording length (just under 4 hours).

Hope you enjoy it - and I'll see you next week for that Geoguessr video I've slowly been chipping away at for 3 months :)

[Patreon Only] 2 Big 2 Foot.

Even though it's available on YouTube, I've decided it's best to put the Bigfoot video directly onto Patreon so people are able to find it easier.

I'll be doing the same for Somewhere in the Shadow once I've finished rendering that one too :)

[Early Access] The Good-Bad Horror Game Video Essay

It is done, my friends. My second video essay.

Bit of a shorter one, but one I've been dying to make for some time.

Hope you guys like the random-ass clips thrown in here and there. I'm probably gonna throw together the Somewhere in the Shadow video as another patreon exclusive sometime this week :)

Thanks for watching, and I'll see ya in December for the next hell ride

[Slightly Early Access] The Portal 2 Torture Cube.

That's a wrap on video 1 of 2 for November. Stay tuned for a video essay and (if you're feeling masochistic) check out the maps for yourself in the description :)

CITIES SKYLINES BABYYY

it was inevitable. you know it was.

I finished this one last week but missed the embargo drop sadly because of [reasons].

Hope this'll tide you guys over while I finish this 2 hour geoguessr video.

See you around :)

[Early Access] The Arma Rat Hunt

At long last, it's done. And I honestly think I can say - with no hyperbole - that this is one of the best videos i've ever made. That's my opinion at least.

It was a pain in the ass to edit, having to scrub through like ~30 pieces of footage for the same 3 hours and link everything together (Premiere hated the fact that I was importing webms and would freeze for 10 seconds everytime I made a cut ;-;) but in the end it worked out.

Thanks again to everyone who submitted fo...

Second Time's a Charm.

Okay, we're going to be taking a second crack at Arma again - this sunday, August 13th, at 7:30 PM British Summer Time.

Hope we'll be able to get 100 of you for this again, since it's now fixed up and working like a charm :)

If you want to be in this video, make sure you join the Discord for more info.

Hope to see you there :)

[Early Access] INSANE Catan.

You know what I always felt was missing from Settlers of Catan? Warfare.

Nuclear Weapons. Fallout.

Oh and of course, a little bit of trolling :)

This is the first of three videos you'll be getting for the month of August. See you guys for the next one - stay safe out there

I Need Your Help, Gamers

We've got a big opporunity for you, my friends.

While I've got another 8 videos in the pipeline (including that RISK Geoguessr video), I have another idea.

I will not say what exactly is happening here - but I need your help.

I'm looking to grab ONE HUNDRED of you guys for a nice, chill little game of Arma 3 - this Sunday, August 6th at 7:30 PM British Summer Time.

All you'll need to participate in our little ...

[Early Access] The Maps from RISK Geoguessr

So if you're on the Discord (which you should be), you'll likely be wondering what exactly was going on the other night.

Well - we've done another Geoguessr Custom Map thing, and once again i've gone way overboard with it.

I'm still editing this one (since we only got to play it last night, after all) - but I figured you guys might want to see the maps I've made for it.

For the Rigged Geoguesser Tournament way back in the day, I made 54 custom maps. Each one of thes...

[Game] Horogaem - "Crypt II Beta 1.16"

Just so it doesn't get lost in the discord, here's a direct download link for the "game" from the "Get Gaslit, Loser" video.

It's a terrible little asset flip, but it does actually work. It has a player limit of 20, but if anyone is crazy enough to play it they can.

I wouldn't really recommend it though.

Have a good one guys - and I'll see you later for the next big thing.

[Early Access] Get Gaslit, Loser

This piece of shit has really drained the life out me, again. But it's done :)

Tomorrow I'll also upload a free little bonus video for you guys - I finally found the footage from a lost 'Somewhere in the Shadow' video (which was used in the famous Valefisk2 upload "Lynx Wet's Himself") and will upload it without an intro or outro just for your enjoyment.

See you guys next time :)

[Early Access] There's an Imposter in Satisfactory.

Yes, that's not the real video's title. I have an AI that chooses all my titles/thumbnails, and it says this is the best option I could come up with. 

This is the first of three videos I've got in the near-pipeline future. At least one will be next week, though I'm aiming for two.

Just giving myself some wiggle room...you know how it goes :)

Madness. Madness, and Stupidity.

I feel like I'm losing my mind over this one. This post will be a bit long, but stick with me - I want your opinion on this.

The Conundrum

At every turn, this Campaign for North Africa video has thrown a curveball at me.

First, I (accidentally) overwrote the Audiobook file. That was...unfortunate, but honestly fine. As I said at the time - all that extra effort wasn't really worth it for that one joke anyway. I was "happy" to move on to working on the real v...

[Early Access] ChatGPT makes a Board Game.

Finally done. This one really kicked my ass - there is an absolute ton of graphics on it.

Stay tuned for a little, ACTUAL filler video - and then CNA. :)

Oops, I've done it again.

How many times must I learn this lesson?

So as you're not doubt aware, it's been a wee bit now since I've actually, y'know, uploaded something - which isn't because I haven't been working my ass off, but rather because I've once again waltzed into adding yet another mega-project onto the work load. I was originally hoping to just drop it in your laps today but have as of now accepted defeat - it won't be done quite yet, so instead: an update.

Let's take it from the top. 2023-05-04 20:48:59 +0000 UTC View Post

[Early Access] I have stared into the pits of hell, and they have no urinals.

Woohoo, April Fools has come a day early.

This just happens to me sometimes. I'll get some idea in my head that suddenly consumes every waking moment of my life for like a week, and making Crypt work in multiplayer is exactly that.

Thanks to all those rats who participated (briefly). If only this game had gameplay...that might've been interesting :)

Stay tuned for CNA. I'll have that video done in a few weeks probably. If you don't know what happened, either wait for the vid...

[Early Access] please help me escape aaaaaa

Oh hello, another long-ass video that is essentially me buying more time for Campaign for North Africa. Who knew that would take so long huh?

The Story So Far...

I realized that it's been a while since I've done an actual update on all these concurrent projects, so I figured I'd rope you in on the scoop here.

After a long winter break (and a detour with Intruder), here's where the two major projects I've got on the docket stand.

WHERE IS CAMPAIGN FOR NORTH AFRICA??/?/??

Yes, it's happening. If you're on the discord (which I'll assume and hope you are, since I post much more often there than here), you'll already know...

[Early Access] The Intruder Torture Video

At long last, the year has begun.

It's actually been a while since I've put out any kind of patreon update - so I hope you're on the discord, since I post much more often on there.

Enjoy, and I'll see you for CNA.

[Early Access] The Hurricane Board Game

Here it is, finally. Those animations were a bit of bonus pain on top, but it was definitely worth the effort.

I'll be taking a break over the holidays of course, but we'll be back in January for one of the seven or so things I've got planned. Oh, and Campaign for North Africa of course :)

[Early Access] Civ: Beyond the Fence

Here's a delaying action - should give me the time I need to put a wrap on this diplomacy-turned-Christmas video. Not that I don't think this one's actually really funny though.

Christmas Rearrangement.

Whoops, I've gone and done it again.

So originally my plan was to do Campaign for North Africa before Christmas, as you might've gathered from me announcing that project so early on while I was preparing for it. But, as usual, I've gotten bogged down doing what I always do - going way too far for another big project.

This big project is a video on a game of Diplomacy we played some months ago. If you've never heard of Diplomacy, it's in many ways the Grandfather ...

Your Draft Letter has Arrived.

The time has finally come.

Ever since I started doing all this torture stuff, I've been hearing one thing over and over again: "Hey Vale, when are you gonna play The Campaign for North Africa: The Desert War 1940-43?"

If you're unaware, Campaign for North Africa is a board game developed by Richard Berg in 1979. It's infamous for being the longest board game ever, with an average game taking roughly 1,200-1,500 hours to complete. ...

[Early Access] i have no mouth, but i must bus.

What an absolute shit show.

If you're one of the eight people on here that isn't on discord, let me bring you up to speed for this one.

This was supposed to be a funny little filler video while I continue working on some larger projects in the background. Instead, this thing consumed about two full weeks of my life that I'm not getting back.

This was because of something that you likely won't even notice - the video is entirely replaced. Due to OBS destroying the re...

2022 10 27 18 00 34 1

me when i have no milk.

also reminder to anyone who hasn't joined the Discord, you'll see more stuff and much more frequent updates in #patron-announcements than on here just because it's easier :)

The Upcoming

New video is pretty much ready to go. A number of you eagle-eyed viewers may be able to guess what it'll be on, but we'll be doing something a bit different than most :)

Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to give you guys early access to the video due to embargo (I was not in fact sponsored for it, so I have to wait until the game is released). It's not ideal but not my choice, you'll have to just wait.

Other than that I'm sitting on another two videos recorded with a few more in the ...

[Early Access] The Great OpenTTD Torture War

Pretty fun patron event. Make sure you join the discord for a chance to come to the next one :)