XaiJu
intertwining

intertwining

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intertwining posts

glass slippers + self portraits + flowers

‘glass slippers’

/

i open 

/

these eyes 

to silvery ribbons 

dancing across 

/

surface of river 

/

spirits of glass 

essence of water 

[ephemeral movement]

/

tension 

at the surface 

or is it flow? 

/

we sleep intertwined 

with the windows open 

and the coyotes sing 

/

i smell f...

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SHEN

In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), the organ of the heart is the ‘emperor’ of the body. 

When the heart is in balance, the whole body is in harmony. When the heart goes out of balance, so does everything else; there is dis-harmony, dis-ease.

TCM tells us that the heart houses the Shen (spirit, or ‘original soul’), which influences mental clarity, emotional well-being, and relationships. 

Psychology tells us that romantic love is a ... "state o...

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whirling between the trees

the first image is of my grandpa who was an incredible poet and immigrated here from lebanon. he loved deeply. most of his poetry is in arabic. it reminds me of rumi and hafiz and khalil gibran, who he loved. he died during covid. he loved to dance and i love this photo of him where his hands are so grace full it appears like a spontaneous mudra. he wrote me a poem every year for my birthday except when he got sick. thinking of him as im turning 30 next week. thank you to the ancestors who wo...

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humans at the colony [film + excerpt from 'internal medicine']

i see now

this kinky dance

that seems to take place

outside of me, begins

/

internally

/

we are

unfathomable

we are

completely mundane

/

the hummanness

the mess

the sweet struggle

is what makes us

/

godly

/

what is perfection

nothing really

i feel in the dark

how ugly we are

/

don't turn away yet!

/

look here:

pristine, puss-filled<...

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november diary [8]

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full moon [visual diary: 12]

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fertile truth

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10.31.25

see a rainbow 

translucent shawl

over cold mountains 

dark lavender 

and pale gold 

appear and disappear 

like a mirage, 

a river streams quick 

down the face 

of the moon

compassion 

means to leave 

another human be

when i accept 

...

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something greater is revealed in the archetypal realm

the queen of swords denotes the perceptive wisdom gained through difficult experiences. becki embodied this archetype so gracefully. it’s a blessing to make art with her.

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in the dance with our own fragility

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here the mountain

I DON’T KNOW

who i am. who you are. 

and that is amazing. 

imagine knowing? 

how boring. 

i pray we see eachother 

with fresh eyes in each moment: 

no past, no future

in the fertile space 

at the end of the exhale, 

we can lay down our ideas 

about eachother

let that all die and 

here is a new face, 

a new opportunity 

to meet You

“you...

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all moments in one moment

see

what happens

when you stay

/

and surrender

and surrender

and surrender

/

to God

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rising up

the ones who Know

the deepest suffering

are the ones

/

who raised me

/

you cannot be

tough if you haven’t been

through trials and toughness

/

yet so soft

are these beings

in the space behind the heart —

/

generous sprawling landscapes

/

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the stories we tell

a turning point.

to become

unshakeable,

rooted here

between two trees

thank you earth

ancestors

and the wind

who whispers

with compassion

this voice is not me

and it is also more me

than anything

it is You

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day after the equinox

at the river

there is a golden tree

standing alone, above the water

and reflected on the surface

blooming below, a dream

the birds cry and i wade

into the mirage

whispering

/

it rains gently on the surface

of the water; i love when the sky opens

like this — and i am alone again

and some ruby red leaves ...

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wise as a serpent, gentle as a dove.

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autumn diary.

Autumn is a time of letting go, of yin, rhythms, of preservation of the space at the end of the exhale. Of change, of the wind, and the sunlight becomes more golden still. “Yin teaches us the wisdom of surrender. Yin chooses to yield even when everyone else is getting ahead. Like an inner earth, yin is the soil in which we gestate our dreams, refine our intuition, listen to our bodies, and come into the stillness of our centre. When actions arise from the receptive still point they hav...

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RIVER OF TENSION [essence of individuation]

the problem

and the solution

are in the individual.

/

a teacher says this

and i nod in comprehension

but it is different to feel it alive

/

inside the navel

the tension of opposites

how do polarities relate to one another?

/

a friend tells me

i regret being a parent

she s...

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reflections [iii]

the senses as portals

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may all inner obstacles dissolve in That eternal luminosity … [prayer on the day of ganesha]

life lately. a river, a dream… grateful always

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moments.

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river of gratitude

from new moon in virgo yesterday. self, magnolia (over the eye), and the river. also, a poem for you,

I.

i lay down

on a fallen tree

to write this

/

when supported by tree

spine clicks subtly a thousand times

the mother readjusts all misalignment

/

back of heart massaged

i cry because i feel

m...

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hymn to clarity

whatever i do willingly or unwillingly


i am offering its fruits


whether happiness or misery


to You.

/

there is nothing to know


aside from the forest inside


or river in the spine

thread of pearls

/

dynamic line


circular witness

to you wha...

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when you don’t know what to do, just do the next right thing

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full moon in aquarius (ii)

an empty glass

beer bottle /


a red flower

in a circle of stones /


which is holier

in Your eyes? /


i am not anywhere

but here /


i am

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full moon in aquarius (i)

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the leopard and the genie

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from the new moon:

i ask my mother, the river, to purify the fire and i am still in her waters. i notice when i do not move, everything is magnetized towards me. i notice pale rainbow on iridescent thigh. the surface tension accentuating gold speckled leaf. reflection of sun in the dark, silky waters. cosmos. i want to be fully alive; to love fully, i tell the river spirit. i tell her this and she reveals to me the fullness of her being — healing Waters rippling out and out, still further …

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submerging + emerging

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how very strange; this perfect mess

i experimented with myself and am still doing so. sometimes there is a long wink of liberosis but other times i nearly lose this mind. both are good.

the Sun rises again and the air is cool and there is a calm which im not sure is within or without definitely both. thank you to the fertile dirt!

when it is time to rest do not pretend it is time to work. and when it is time to work there is no need for rest.

at the lowest point despair wholly....

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