XaiJu
intertwining

intertwining

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intertwining posts

calligraphic scripture

“art is

the slowing

down

and stretching

of pure


thought-free

witnessing”

—Talia Sutra—

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what does intimacy mean to you?

meredith and i, intertwining.

rachel piercing through herself.

vasudeva: in the space between.


what does ‘intimacy’ mean to you?


nakedness can be a metaphor for shedding. layer by layer.


the protective sheaths. what is underneath?

do not cut with the dull scissor. the knife!


a whole tapestry is revealed, now,

woven fro...

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‘intertwining’

these palms of hands relax

& the heart seed breaks open

milky soles are magnetized

to the core, or navel

of Mother

i am held

by her

i am

her

*

lalitā plays on this throne of honey bees

mmmm, that which was suppressed

turns around: erotic creativity

sssss, there are obstacles View Post

how dispassion holds space for passion

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'elegiac metronome' [tracing my steps]

after a great love

there is death

here is silence

/

do not try

to turn

it into poetry

/

rest

in the twilight

womb

/

you and i

and the third

is this the holy trinity?

/

do not try

to turn the impulse

for poetry into po...

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a week of Sky (mind), the rising sun

to reflect


or absorb

Here

is the [mirror]

(or the sponge)

through equanimity


practice, practice

of discriminative Wisdom

one will choose

which to Be

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‘fulfillment’

[complete

in an instant

of recollection]


i embrace

the Wholeness


of the present

moment,

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see inside

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morning ritual

Ten thousand flowers in spring, the moon in autumn,

a cool breeze in summer, snow in winter.

If your mind isn't clouded by unnecessary things,

this is the best season of your life.

[Ten Thousand Flowers in Spring, by Wu-Men]

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dream within a dream

now

i pray

to Jesus

and He holds me

in his Hands

and it snows and is warm

and i bleed

on the moonlight

white and red ribbons

billow in the winds

observe that

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lines

mind creates

entire universes

become empty sky

behind the moon …..

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God the Mother

Kālī dances. Bloody, sweet, terrifying, true Love.


It is the dance of frenzy and possession. She dances because she is essentially śakti, energy, power, capacity.


Mary dances. She indeed wants the Spirit to come and possess her; nothing else will do.


Her birthing is her dancing. Her dancing is her birthing.


In iconography, Kālī often appears fearsome. However, we have frozen Mary. We have tamed her.


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open internal eyes

“I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost... I am helpless.

It isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

*

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it.

I fall in again.

I can't believe I am in the same place.

But, it isn't my fault.

It still takes me a long time to get out.

*

I walk down the same street....

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interdependence

relationship

is everywhere


and everywhere

we are shown

ourselves

the other

reveals us

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‘new years eve’

there was great thunder

the night father came home

from the first day of treatment

/

there was clear lightning

the night Mother came

and i stroked her hair like she was mine

/

we, the current

or the luminous abyss

the storm, the stillness

/

the sky splits in two:

a teaching

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tonglen


*

[flash on emptiness

as the breath turns around]

*

i breathe in my own suffering

i breathe out the cool breeze of compassion

*

i breathe in your suffering

i breathe out the cool breeze of compassion

*

i breathe in all of our suffering

i breathe out the cool breeze of compassion

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raw impermanence

a series unedited for you, to end the year. it always feels like ripping myself open to share raw images. perhaps it is a good practice sometimes. thank you for supporting my art making this year. my heart dances with deep, deep gratitude. i love you.

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a few lives ago

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nowhere, everywhere

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hymn to the disks

holy fire

/

which moves

the tailbone

/

sun sets

within

/

sacral ocean

/

in the plexus

luminous,

/

He has risen

/

deep

verdure forest

/

in Mother’s chest

/

lapis sky

...

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‘tuning the inner ecosystems’

the yogi entered me last night

this body accepts him

enveloped by a shawl of attunment

*

we perform the rituals

the inner purifications

looking into this being,

*

i cry, wondering who he is

it is interesting

that physical union does not feel

too different than time we’ve shared

in its absence View Post

but, look

but, look,

the self that hovers


in between

is neither man


nor woman

/

O Ramanatha

/

—Devata Dasimayya—

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here, you belong


the vulture cries

the coyote sings

butterflies are quiet

there is one woman

who has an image of jesus

in the garden, tucked in her arm

i know she has seen the deepest

pain — a butterfly lands in the center

of her palm — it rests there, her heart


listen to the jungle

nature promises

nothing View Post

with the trees

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sepia dream

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journal 11.14.24

it is november 14th

i sit at the altar having coffee. this incense smells of myrrh. three candles burn. the full moon is tomorrow. a year ago i was engaged.

i tried to cling a little more. clinging. grasping. actually last night i was speaking with tomas and he told me the etemology of the word manipulate comes from the Latin word manus, which means "hand” and also the Italian word manipulare, which means "to grip with the hands".

i wonder how much we manipulate ourselve...

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love conquers pain

/

i wonder

is having compassion

for all parts of ourselves

what frees us

/

all so tender

so fragile

like a cloud

here, then gone

/

maybe we all

want to be

loved

seen into

/

i see the versions

of myself who grasp

who gasp so needily

for air

/

for air is love

it is always here

but i forgot!

how poignant

/

i love you

in ...

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the eve of the eve of day of the dead

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create - who is creating - turn around - witness the creation

i have been making so much art

that it can feel overwhelming

i am grateful for this


especially in comparison to times


of nothingness — still

i haven’t taken time to go back


through this patreon diary


and see all that has emerged and become


i must remind myself to slow down,

breathe - breath by breath, day by day

do not only create - turn around, witness


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holy spiral holy holy holy

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