intertwining

holding space

morning of august 11th [poem + series of 3]

this morning

praying to the crystalline dew drops

perfectly aligned on each blade of grass

“please, teach me,”

*

choir of cicadas

humming without stop

the bee corpse

shining nobly,

illuminated by moments

of parting clouds

*

i offer moon blood

to the moist dirt,

dark as night

the scarlet stains

play hide and seek

in the belly of void

*

holy silence

holy sil...

recognize Her everywhere, in everyone

“She wants to move us away from egocentric consciousness to the recognition of our nondifference from each other and the cosmos … what the Goddess gives you is always, in the end, Herself.” —Sally Kempton, Awakening Shakti *

[beautiful painting of meredith and i, drawn by the talented danny setiawan]

*in Tantra the pronouns “She/Her” and the concept of the Goddess exists in both males and females, non-binary people and non-gen...

poetic apothecary

what else does this mind not see?

watching

an inchworm

dancing

suspended

by an invisible

thread,

looking

closer

realizing

one exhale

can shift

this being’s

entire world

to the floating

pale emerald

being, i am

the wind

i am the wind

i am the wind

*

now quit

wondering

if you’re good

take a deep

breath, expand

elongate

the exhale

gushing wind...

many moons ago…

moon musings

cobalt blue dragonflies

with iridescent wings

whisper secrets

amongst themselves

while elegant webs of seaweed

gently form mandalas—entire worlds

emerging from the Wide Womb

***

as galaxies twinkle on a translucent oceanscape

microscopic glittering particles dance

in a clear, flowing stream

the dragonflies converse

with colonies of thousands

of metallic lavender mussels

gathered, gaping

*...

full moon in aquarius

basic goodness

musings, note to self: it’s ok to trust the Basic Goodness of people. it’s ok to love and get hurt. there will always be Love, no matter how many times you get hurt, you are not liked, or you forget. more love will always be waiting, patiently, for you to remember—for that is the nature of Love.

wild nature

Be wild; that is how to clear the river.

The river does not flow in polluted, we manage that. The river does not dry up, we block it. If we want to allow it its freedom, we have to allow our ideational lives to be let loose, to stream, letting anything come, initially censoring nothing. That is creative life.

It is made up of divine paradox. To create one must be willing to be stone stupid, to sit upon a throne on top of a jackass and spill rubies from one's mouth. Then the river ...

final contemplation on relationship (for now)

still thinking about relationship. it hurts to let go and to crave connection but also push it away. and it is bewildering to me because i really do think we heal the most deeply through relationship and that life is all about relationship. but it’s also incredibly scary to trust. to receive love after destruction. to forgive. forgiving myself is the hardest. to be seen while the layers of defenses peel away. and be held in all the mess.

*

it’s so simple. just Love. but no. w...

contemplation on relationship II

series of seven. exploring trust, mirroring, boundaries, and being held.

embodiment through relationship — [series of three] ✨

we are hurt in relationship.

we heal through relationship.

how to gently hold the paradox?

we are in training,

we are learning,

we are human

love is always real

merge, dissolve, expand

portrait of a new friend … who taught me so much during this session.

pray to the wildflowers

it’s so much just to be

womb

secret meeting, in the meadow

here is something i’ve been playing with:

relate to the divine essence within like the Greatest Lover. yes. this is what you have been longing for. it is bliss. it is you.

thank you Sally Kempton for the inspiration. may you rest in great peace and be blessed in the beyond…

playful. curious. ephemeral. ever-present.

blessed, metamorphic current of bliss.

may we always be open to You.

may we prostrate to this mysterious Grace.

may we abandon stagnancy, rigidity, unconscious deep sleep.

may we make love to the shimmering river of pure Consciousness.

O, anahata — glorious unstruck sound!

stay. look inside the chest. dance with That.

you can always start again. in each breath. in each moment.

re-membering in cycles: {series of 10}

finding beauty in brokenness. again and again. was elated to find this shattered mirror one day… collected as many pieces as i could without cutting myself, and early this morning these images revealed themselves… thank you. thank you. thank you. all mirrors: thank you. all the broken: thank you. all of the things i thought were my enemies, which were actually purifying me: thank you.

7.7.23, 4:17a.m.

i miss the moon …

She is outside the window

dressed in a violet halo

oh, hello!

***

and this time

when i wake

the fear dissolves

replaced with immense energy

directed towards The Longing

behind the longing

behind the longing

***

they sing as

dawn breaks

angels, everywhere

i bow — waking again

crying, sweetly

thank ...

practice, and All is revealed

i am nothing

without practice

and practice

shows me

i am nothing

and everything

***

[✨thank you Daniel Ramirez for these beautiful photos✨]

what is the longing behind the longing behind the longing?

i asked yesterday

in so many ways:

what is Grace?

and in meditation

these answers

revealed themselves softly…

connection

relationship

precious & sublime

receiving

never giving up

audacity

mind, & beyond mind

intellect, & beyond intellect

art, & beyond art…

something sensed

through the Mother.

look inside...

meredith & i (7.4.23)

all images drawn by danny setiawan

summer in ny (III) — intimacy within, projected without

summertime in ny (II)

come up to the edge of the fear and sit with it in a very soft way

together in the studio — summertime in new york (I)

meeting different artists and collaborating spontaneously has been such a joy. i love connecting and making art together. here’s one from yesterday with bill. more from this series coming. we made some amazing things!

coral catharsis

i remember being mineral

poem + self portrait.