In the year 2020, when men still believed in dark sorcery, a man named Prayer published a book of prayers to defeat witches. It was called Evil Summon by Prayer M. Madueke, and already I feel insane. I feel like I just said, "We're reading Cure The Minotaur Bite by 5th degree black belt, Minotaur Bite Antidote Povich, PhD." But I promise this is a real book:
2025-07-04 12:00:14 +0000 UTC
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Not to get all the panties dropping at once, but I recently attended an antiquarian book fair in New York City. That’s right, the New York City, where Spider-Man fights the Rhino and salsa that cowboys don’t like is made. I also live here, so it’s really not that big of an accomplishment, although anyone who’s ever had to take the subway from Brooklyn to the Upper East ...
2025-07-03 12:00:14 +0000 UTC View Post
The early 2010s were a more innocent time for conspiracy theorists. Before Q and Facebook dragged everybody's weird uncle into the Pizzagate vortex and COVID annihilated what was left of their shattered psyches, you could believe in outlandish and bizarre things that didn't necessarily make you a mass shooter waiting to happen. Like, remember the Mandela Effect? It was a real Zero Interest Rate Phenomen...
2025-07-02 12:00:15 +0000 UTC View PostThe DOGGZZONE welcomes back Dan McQuade. Eurovision. Finally, ABBA squared. What more needs to be said? The goofing grounds are fertile no matter the year... It is time! Enjoy, you lucky so and so's!
2025-07-02 11:59:02 +0000 UTC View PostHad enough yorgan shporgen and hoofledorf in G minor? Take a break with one of Seanbaby's infamous BOOKGAME's! Dan McQuade did, and he's a better man for it!
2025-07-02 11:58:01 +0000 UTC View PostThe DOGGZZONE welcomes back Dan McQuade. Eurovision. Finally, ABBA squared. What more needs to be said? The goofing grounds are fertile no matter the year... It is time! Enjoy, you lucky so and so's!
2025-07-02 11:57:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Game time.
Unnecessary, really. The cover copy had me at "left-wing indoctrination." Overselling looks desperate. The back cover rants longer than any chapter within, in flea-friendly print. Yet the "S...
2025-07-01 12:00:19 +0000 UTC View Post
Fair is foul, and foul is fair:
Rave Macbeth b’filths the air.
Rave Macbeth (2001) is a movie that exists. You suspect it has premise problems. You are right. Shakespeare’s The Tragedie Of MacBeth does not map onto a Y2K-ish rave, for the same reasons Shakespeare’s ...
2025-06-30 12:00:00 +0000 UTC View PostNew BIGFEETS Monday, and you know what that means!
This week I’m shining the spotlight on our Sgt. Bigfeet’s Lonely AIMS Team Band, you know the one, featuring the hit single “Wild Bill in the Tree with Chainsaws.”
The Dark Forest™ holds many mysteries, including copyright infringement/childhood trauma super combos! There's nonsense, bickering & partner swapping afoot in this week's episode of BIGFEETS!
2025-06-30 11:58:01 +0000 UTC View PostThe Dark Forest™ holds many mysteries, including copyright infringement/childhood trauma super combos! There's nonsense, bickering & partner swapping afoot in this week's episode of BIGFEETS!
2025-06-30 11:57:01 +0000 UTC View Post
How is it already June? This year has both flown by and taken forever. Jeeeeeez. A lot going on this month. I say that every month, and it is always true. Why does stuff keep happening? Why does time continue to flow? How does reading work? I don’t know, but I have a few articles for you to practice on.
8-Bit hot dogs in assorted weights and torments. All yours!
Look at the little guys, so many of them, so charming and provocative.
We have it on our classic shirt. This is one of our classic, classic shirts so co...
2025-06-28 18:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
The creative process for a garbage archaeologist can be a struggle. Sometimes you're 100 pages into a Mormon dating book or 70 minutes into a Burt Ward sex comedy before you realize it's nothing. But some days the creative process looks like this.
I was reading a late '90s karate magazine, my capitalism-wear...
2025-06-27 12:00:15 +0000 UTC View Post
Welcome, 🌭s, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard that when we die we’re having ourselves taxidermied into a Brockbaby.
But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!
First let’s check in on Sissyneck Corner, where it’s been a genital heavy month ...
2025-06-26 12:00:11 +0000 UTC View Post
Who's your favorite character from The Wizard of Oz? The Scarecrow? The Tin Man? The Munchkin who rides on another Munchkin and leads Dorothy around on a chain? Fools. Like so many others, you fail to recognize Lyman Frank Baum's most perfect ...
2025-06-25 12:00:13 +0000 UTC View PostThe DOGGZZONE welcomes back Dennard Dayle. Today we're going to help Dennard become the world's next best selling author through cunning use of demonic favors! First we must choose the most helpful demon for our nefarious causes... Who could it possibly be?? Tune in to find out as we scour the Infernal Dictionary for the Secrets to Dennard's Success!
We've worked out our demons now it's time to relax with a confounding game of,
"Manilmal Wizard Hulk Hogan Speedboat"
The DOGGZZONE welcomes back Dennard Dayle. Today we're going to help Dennard become the world's next best selling author through cunning use of demonic favors! First we must choose the most helpful demon for our nefarious causes... Who could it possibly be?? Tune in to find out as we scour the Infernal Dictionary for the Secrets to Dennard's Success!
Fucking Month continues.
Is your semen jacked? Wait, that’s idiotic. No adult wastes a first thought on cumlifts. Even MacFadden skipped to infant gains. Fretting over semen hypertro...
2025-06-24 12:00:12 +0000 UTC View Post
Here is a man who was caught in the act of cranking his hog at the moment Pompeii was incinerated by a volcano:
If our civilization should fall, the equivalent discovery would be...
2025-06-23 12:00:14 +0000 UTC View PostIt’s summertime, and the Hot Dog is easy. Time to reflect on summer vacations past, great times spent at the arcade with a pocket full of quarters, a slice in one hand, and a joystick in the other.
Hell yeah, let’s get back to basics here. An incredible, iconic piece of art. I haven’t featured it in a bit on its own, and that needs to change.
2025-06-21 18:00:07 +0000 UTC
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Brockway: What does the future hold for buns? It’s a question every single philosopher has pondered, and been driven completely mad by. Until today. (We consider ourselves philosophers.)
We’re playing a game called…
Seanbaby: If you're saying the game is man and ...
2025-06-20 12:00:13 +0000 UTC View Post
Yes well heres one for our 3-ring binder labeled: ‘’Profiles in Feminine Courage” for today we will hear the tale of The Most Patient Woman in the World. Which I know its a competative field,, I can think of about 4 women I know personally who could maybe be in the running just solely based on there ability to handle my perenial failure to remember napkins are a thing, but stay with me and maybe y...
2025-06-19 12:00:15 +0000 UTC View Post
Chris A. Field is a horny lunatic who wrote Black Tokyo, a pen-and-paper RPG about wielding your penis as a bladed, whiplike instrument of death. He also wrote Otherverse America, an attempt at serious social commentary on the culture war. 2025-06-18 12:00:13 +0000 UTC View Post
The DOGGZZONE welcomes back Patrick Reed for some ring side incredulity as two of wrestling most fearsome titan's... General Mills and Kellogg's oh god. Look, you have a favorite cereal, right? We'll, wait till the end to see if your brand loses. Spoiler: It does. Hard.
2025-06-18 11:59:01 +0000 UTC View PostLets's wash that taste of wrestling mat cereal out of your mouth with a little game of WikiWhy, with Patrick Reed... the poor bastard.
2025-06-18 11:58:00 +0000 UTC View PostThe DOGGZZONE welcomes back Patrick Reed for some ring side incredulity as two of wrestling most fearsome titan's... General Mills and Kellogg's oh god. Look, you have a favorite cereal, right? We'll, wait till the end to see if your brand loses. Spoiler: It does. Hard.
2025-06-18 11:57:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Once, I went to a history museum and read a letter from 1620 that powerfully changed my view of the transatlantic slave trade. Maybe I should say “deepened” instead of “changed,” since I was already pretty soured on it. Regardless, standing there, ruminating on those 405-year-old words and waiting for museum security to swap shifts so my part of the heist could go off, I quiet...
2025-06-16 12:00:14 +0000 UTC View Post
