Ancilla L

Upcoming Class Joining Information: Drop, Frenzy and Sub/Dom Space.

This post contains the link to join the upcoming class on 9 February 2025. The time listed below is in IST (but should be reflected according to your local time on the event page on Fetlife, as well as on your calendar if you shared your e-mail to be added to the class-list:

Class on Drop, Frenzy and Space With Ancilla

Sunday, Feb 9 • 10:00 – 12:00

Google Meet joining info

Video call link: 2025-02-08 03:42:45 +0000 UTC View Post

Making Money Off Myself Without Appeasing The Male-Gaze.

Commercialised sexuality is a complicated market. When I was a sex-worker, it was something I genuinely wanted to be, but there were parts of it that made me uncomfortable. For one, the agency for which I worked advertised us a certain way—young, fair, college girls, need money—and I really didn’t like that, I was twenty and still made to lie about my age and say I was nineteen because *men* prefer to feel like they are with “barely legal” girls and being *twenty* meant I was too ol...

10 Things I Learnt From Being A Kink Educator.

For the past couple of years I have been trying my hand at sexual and kink education. Funnily enough, it's something I said I would never do and in a fun little twist of poetic justice, here we are! This is an expository list of ten things I have learnt as a kink educator, there is a full podcast episode attached which goes into it in more detail but I've put the list down in written form as well. The podcast is a lot more expansive, this list is indicative of the details but not exhaustive.&...

Class Upload: Consensual Non-Consent

PFA:

• The recording of the class being taught

• The reading notes for the class

• The power-point presentation used to teach the class

Additionally, I have also previously conducted a Q&A on the subject of CNC and that can be found here.

This material is for personal use only, please do not disseminate and do not plagiarise or...

Class Joining Information: Consensual Non-Consent.

The following is the joining information for the class on CNC on 26 January 2025. The time below is in IST (Indian Standard Time). The event page on fetlife will reflect your local time.

CNC Class With Ancilla

Sunday, Jan 26 • 17:00 – 19:00

Google Meet joining info

Video call link: https://meet.google.com/...

A Little Update!

If you enjoy my writing, this may be of note to you. I have launched a substack (free for now), it's a blog dedicated to the step-parent/child relationship called Mother Inferior, exploring the social, familial and political environment of these relationships. The first post is up.

The 2025-01-23 02:56:18 +0000 UTC View Post

The Morning After.

The first thing I do as I wake up is shudder. I see you, leaning over me to kiss me, but all I feel is fear. If you go to bed terrified, the fear just percolates inside you, walking around your somnolent structure, trying to escape, like an overzealous cat trapped inside a single room. I think I could hear it as I slept, tapping against the ruins of my peace, scratching at the edges of my existence to check if these walls are truly impermeable, not so loud that it woke me up, but loud enough ...

Power Exchange: Chapter 3

Note: This is part of a book I am writing, access the earlier chapters at the tag Power-Exchange Sextbook.

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Chapter 3

The Nature of Roles and Relationship Structures

Within power-exchange, there are many roles that people choose from when it comes to a personal identification. You may identify as a submissive or a master, you may have seen people i...

Neil Gaiman Is A Predator and The Community Knows That.

The man who "introduced" me to BDSM is also the man who introduced me to abuse. I was actively looking for kink, but even outside of that, as a person who exists in the world, is sexual and wants to develop sexual connections with people, I was looking for people to fuck and love too. I wore my eroticism on my sleeve. I enjoyed wearing my sexuality like beautiful lingerie made of delicate chains and barbed wire. I liked how it made me feel to be a confident woman who was comfortable with the ...

Podcast E87: Social Media, Art and Anti-Trust.

More serious than usual, but then again, my art may be taking things that should be chill and serious-ing them, anyway.

The Relationship HighCast: Fear As A Component of Power-Exchange.

Boo!

Power-Exchange: Chapter 2

Note: This is part of a book I am writing, you can access other chapters at the tag Power Exchange Sextbook.

Chapter 2

Understanding The Influence of Social Power Dynamics on Power-Exchange

When I was much younger, specifically young enough not to know how to handle my desires but old enough to have them, my desire for control mainly manifested wi...

Power Exchange: Chapter 1.

Chapter 1

Defining Power-Exchange.

For as long as I have heard the terminology discussed, I have also heard it debated. Power-exchange is often used as an umbrella term to encompass any relationships in which there is a willing, consensual, negotiated (and often structured) yielding of power from one (submissive) party to another (dominant) party. Often people take semantic issue with the term exchange as it is used in this context, and for that reason, it is best to be exhaustive...

Class Recording: Emotional Sadomasochism.

This is the upload of the class on Emotional Sadomasochism. Alongside the class materials, I am sharing a review page for the class, please share you thoughts and feedback on the class here please. It is very useful to me to point prospective attendees towards when they are considering taking classes.

PFA:
- A recording of the class.
- The reading notes for the class.
- The power-po...

Upcoming Class: Joining Information: Emotional Sadomasochism: 12 January 2025

Hello everyone. This is the joining information for the upcoming online class on Emotional Sadomasochism.

The meeting information listed below is in IST (Indian Standard Time), the time in your local time zone will be reflected on the event page posted on Fetlife.

Joining Information:

Class: Emotional Sadomasochism With AncillaL

Sunday, Jan 12 • 11:00 – 13:00

Google M...

A Bucolic Affair.

I park at the community hall on the top of the hill like she told me to. She insisted the car cannot reach her house and I know she meant that literally, she didn’t mean there is no available parking around her house, she really meant there is no road. I cannot believe that still happens. Almost three decades ago, we parked like that too, and we could never come back home after dark because we had to cut through the forest to get from the car to the house. In all these years, they�...

Happy New Year, Everyone!

I know I am bit early on this and this isn't really an essay or any form of content. I just wanted to thank everyone who supports my work for doing so. I really appreciate it and your contributions go a really long way for me! Thank you so much for being around and staying around. Have a great day!

And remember, the true test of a resolution is not what you do on January 1 but what you're still doing on December 31. Sorry, can't help myself, I'm Type A, Asian and an Indian parent.

Podcast E88: Happy Anniversary.

The title is so incredibly misleading.

The Boogeyman.

There’s a boogeyman in every family. A generationally-curated conglomeration of cultural lore, built upon the back of a specific local legend, that incorporates the nature of fear you need to inculcate in your children, and adds to that a splash of absurdism, a little bit of a reality, a dash of creative individualisation in the form of exaggerated personal experiences and an adult conspiracy to continue to build and, at least, pretend to believe in the story forever.

We ...

The Emerald Pendant.

My mother gave me a tiny emerald pendant when I was sixteen. It was beautiful, in the box, some things are like that. In the blue velvet-lined box it looked delicate and pretty, laid out in white gold and hanging from a very fine chain. I knew instantly how it would make me feel when I put it on; it would make me feel like a gunny sack tied in a rope made of diamonds. I didn't wear things like that, not when I was sixteen and not now, and my mother knew this as well then, as she does now. I t...

Class Upload: Effective Sadism

PFA:

The audio file of the class being taught.
The reading notes.
The powerpoint presentation.

Why I regret posting a nude to try to popularize my brand.

The first time I posted an *actual* nude picture online I was *shocked* by the response. It was just a picture of me lying naked but it got hits faster than anything I had ever created—erotic writing, books, pictures of blood-stained clothing, news articles, broadcast segments—it was instantly more desirable than all of those things on which I had worked so hard. I couldn't make sense of it. I wasn't even *doing* anything in the picture, I was just *being* naked. Besides, I ...

The End Of Love.

We sat on the balcony of his apartment, looking at the trees and the forest that made it easy to forget we were in the middle of the most polluted city in the world. A good realtor knows to distract you with an unexpected view when trying to sell you paradise in a gas-chamber. Over the past decade, we had spent so many evenings on that balcony, it was my spot in their house. That happens over time, doesn’t it? Sometimes you spend so much time in the home of people you l...

Upcoming Class: Effective Sadism

Hello all!

These are the details to join the upcoming Effective Sadism Class Live on 22 December at Noon (IST, your local time will vary accordingly, it is correctly reflected on the event page on Fetlife).

Effective Sadism Class

Sunday, Dec 22 • 12:00 – 14:00

Google Meet joining info

Video call link: https://meet.google.com/umh-pfed-niu

Or dial: +1 567-316-0658 ...

Podcast E86: This Is A Eulogy.

My grandfather died and left me with thoughts of life and death.

Talking To You.

The sex is completely dispassionate, not in the usual way where the lack of passion is meant to enforce ownership and hierarchy, but in the way that our bodies come together as a way to compensate for the intimacy which is more elusive than ever. We know it cannot be replenished this way yet we continue to wake up in the morning and fuck anyway, because those thirty-minutes are all we’ve had together for weeks now. Those thirty minutes before the sun comes up and responsibility rears its de...

Sexual Piety.

I've always felt that in another life I could have been extremely pious. I have no god in this one and unfortunately the political reality and inherent chastity of religion keeps me from engaging in any way. I have no faith, and I see no reason to have any when the reality of most religion is oppression, vote-bank politics, meaningless ritualism and patriarchal nonsense. I see no reason to believe in a just and fair god or a system of creation that makes no scientific sense whatsoever. Howeve...

Don’t Let the Mainstreaming Of BDSM/Kink Fool You Into Thinking The World Is More Progressive.

Within the kink subculture, we live in a world that is much more open, structured and sexually liberal than general society. Yesterday, in conversing with a lovely educator from the other side of the world, she was discussing how casually she is able to approach things like hook-suspensions and low-gauge sharps, things that may otherwise be considered intense and high-risk, because of the sheer amount of experience she now has with them, and how sometimes, it is 2024-12-10 12:15:11 +0000 UTC View Post

The Relationship HighCast: The Little Things!

We always hear people say it is the little things that matter in a relationship but what are these little things? How much do they really matter? Let us discuss!

He Thought He Would Never.

The first time it happened, I hadn't been expecting it at all. The reason I hadn't been expecting it was because when we first discussed it, the idea seemed to shock him. He said it seemed too aggressive somehow to pick up a shoe and hit someone in the face with it. He wasn't sure if he would ever be comfortable doing something like that. Of course, this discussion happened a couple of years before he actually did it, and in that time our relationship underwent massive changes. I'm not even s...