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Tessa Lingerie Pinup

Amazing gift from my friend Urban, a picture of Tessa from one of my favorite artists! Really happy with this one. Definitely one of the best pics she’s had yet.

As for how I’m doing since last update, pretty good, actually. There’s still pressure in my ear and my back still mildly hurts but the ear’s getting better and stretching out is helping me recover. Shouldn’t be too long before all the physical junk clears up.

As for mental health, I have pretty good news I think. My mood is extremely stable lately to the point where I’d even call how I feel most of the time to ‘good’. It’s only really late at night when I start to reach my pill’s half-life when I start to feel bleh, and even that is starting to clear up.

I haven’t started writing again yet but I think we’re very, very close to that. I’m currently just enjoying the time off and the holidays, and I’d rather wait longer for the medicine to settle than attempt to write prematurely and get upset at myself if I find out it doesn’t go well still. Seriously, though. I try not to make it sound like things are right around the bend but I’m very optimistic. It feels great to be relaxed again.

Art by https://x.com/ViviiChon

Update

Hey guys, time to touch base again. I don’t have any amazing news to share. I haven’t done any work since last time I posted and have been letting my meds adjust. Overall I feel a lot better but the last week has prevented me from seeing where I’m at for several reasons. If you recall I mentioned that I hurt my back while cleaning a few months ago and it suddenly relapsed to the point where I was bedridden and couldn’t walk for a few days- and on top of that I had what I believed was an ear infection. I went to the urgent care unit last night after waiting the ear thing out for several days. I had antibiotics leftover from something so I thought I’d take those and it’d go away. Turns out it wasn’t an infection, it was a humongous wax buildup and they had to power wash my ear to get it all out. Seriously, I don’t mean to gross anyone out or anything but it was huge. My ear still isn’t fully better but I’m getting there. Some hearing has returned, it just feels like I’m waiting for a huge ‘pop’ to depressurize it and it’s quite uncomfortable. Nowhere near as uncomfortable as it was, though. The pounding pain was so intense a few nights ago I could barely sleep.

So, yeah. I have not been having a good week to say the least. It’s hard to tell where my mind is at because of all the physical pain but I do think I’d have gotten back to work by now if it wasn’t so bad. I’m much more relaxed and calm now that it’s been a few weeks.

As for how I’ve been passing my time recovering this month, my Dragon Quest playthroughs continued since I last posted. I beat 5, which is now one of my favorite games of all time and I could write a whole blog about it, then I beat 6, which is… one of the games of all time. It’s not bad. Not at all. It’s quite good. But compared to 3, 4 and 5 the quality is just not there. It’s one of those kinds of games where there’s a lot of really high highs and a lot of low lows. Inconsistent. Still worth playing and I’m glad I did but it just had so much missed potential. The lead developer of it, Yuji Hori, was also co-creating Chrono Trigger simultaneously as he worked on 6, meaning it didn’t get his full attention. I think it goes without saying that a single ‘sub-par’ Dragon Quest was well worth that trade off.

DQ7 is a massive game. After starting it I decided I needed a break after about ten hours in and I just replayed Undertale yesterday and am now playing Omori for its similar vibes.

That’s pretty much all I’ve been up to aside from one other thing- learning kalimba. It’s an instrument called the thumb piano, and I’ve been playing around learning bits and pieces of songs here and there just so I have something else to do that isn’t staring into a screen all day. It’s nice, very peaceful. I like it a lot, though it’s a very limiting instrument and as such there aren’t a lot of songs transcribed for it. I kind of want an electronic keyboard now for that reason. Might be harder to learn than kalimba but literally every song ever made has notes for piano so there you go lol.

As for my plans, I might just relax the rest of this month since it’s going to cause me a lot of mental energy to deal with having to see people irl and all that. It’ll give me time to further adjust to the meds too, though if I feel like writing before then I’ll still do so. Hard to predict my future self’s actions, obviously.

For anyone who doesn’t know, it’s my birthday in five days. If anyone wants to give me anything for that, it would be very welcome but is completely unnecessary. https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/claytonsummers

You could also just go find an artist and commission something LARPG related, too! I can provide everyone’s references if need be- I just don’t want to have to be the one to talk to the artist. Still not in the mood for much socialization.

All in all, I’m looking forward to the new year. This year was a conflicting one for me. I had one month where it was the happiest I’d ever been, my first big success, and then the whole rest of the year felt like falling violently down a mountain, but like in a comedic sense where I keep hitting my head against everything on the way down.

The good news is that I already hit rock bottom and have now restarted the climb back up. I’m getting better, and I can feel it won’t be long till I’m back to my full strength. When I’m there, finishing volume 2 should be a straight shot since it’s already halfway done and realistically only needs a month or two of me at my best to wrap it up. From there I hope to get back to my old speed and release a lot more than just that.

Thank you for being patient, I’ll be in touch with any more updates that come up and will try to post some art I haven’t gotten around to soon.

Appreciation

I’m not a big thanksgiving guy but I do want to say that the biggest thing I’m grateful for this year is all of you. My antidepressant withdrawal doom spiral and ongoing recovery doesn’t take away from what happened earlier this year; I put out my first massively successful book, I got an audiobook contract, and I went from a d-lister to a much bigger name in the space after a long, long time struggling upstream to get there. None of that would’ve happened if not for you guys, my biggest supporters, giving me your reviews, spreading the word, and funding me here on Patreon. I can’t express how thankful I am for that no matter how I try.

As of now, I’m hopeful about my recovery for the first time in months. If you didn’t see me mention it I upped my antidepressant dosage like 3 days ago, and I’m starting to get moods feeling better than I’ve felt in years. I haven’t tried writing yet since upping it but we actually might be getting to the light at the end of the tunnel here. Just going to give it more time to stabilize first.

That and I want more time with my midlife crisis inspired Dragon Quest obsession. Almost done with the main story of 4 and I can’t wait for the postgame and especially to move onto 5, the most beloved one by Japan. I’ve always loved DQ but it’s turning into an autistic hyper-fixation.

Send help and or merch ( @Milly )

For real, though. Thank you for supporting me this year and thank you for being patient with me in the time since. It hasn’t been easy between my Aunt dying and suffering through the biggest self-induced mental health fuckup of my life, but I know things will be getting better from here. I’m never going to mess with my medication like this ever, ever again...

I can’t think of a good way to end this blog because my gummy just kicked in and I’m high as fuck right now so I’m just going to let you laugh at me while I say thanks again lmao

Cute Stacy Art

Another gift from Urban from the same artist. She looks very cute and bubbly in this one!

Follow-up on yesterday’s post but wow yeah I’m seeing a gigantic mood improvement not even 3 days fully into upping my antidepressants. On a scale of 1-2 I spent most of this year feeling 2-5 mentally and today is the first 8 in recent memory. Just feeling excessively peaceful and relaxed and not stressed whatsoever. I haven’t tried writing yet and I might not for a few days just to let it settle but I’m very optimistic now.

Art by https://x.com/juded_wind

Cute Mia Pinup + Update

Another gift Urban got me from the same artist as that other one. I have a few more from them I still need to post but I’ve been lazy/not feeling great.

On that note, I do have some good news to report. I bit the bullet and upped my antidepressant dosage. Whatever damage going off of it did to my brain is rough and going back to the 5mg I was taking pre that isn’t cutting it so I’m going back up to 10. It sucks since I put in a lot of work like 2 years ago to taper down to 5 but it’s not healing me fast enough and I can’t just sit around like this. I’m already feeling a lot more stable but as it’s the first day it’s couple with a lot of headachiness.

Looking forward to watching how I feel this next week, I’ll let you guys know if it gets to a point where I’m writing again. Right now I’m just playing Dragon Quest 4 after beating DQ3HD Remake, so I’ll chill and observe and continue on with that for now.

Art by https://x.com/juded_wind

Update

Hey guys, just checking in because I’ve been very quiet this month. I don’t have great news to share on the series other than progress has stalled. I’m like five months in on this antidepressant waiting for it to fully settle and while I’m doing a lot better in most other regards the brain fog is the one thing that just isn’t budging. The thing is at this point I’m not as stressed about it as I was. It sucks, I want to be able to work again and not get hung up on writing the same few sentences over and over, but it’s almost the end of the year and if I have to wait it out and enjoy my time doing other stuff until everything snaps back into place then I’m pretty much just feeling like ‘whatever’.

I am trying something new, though. Rather than sitting around doing nothing I’m trying to jolt my brain by using a gimmicky writing app that deletes your shit if you don’t write fast enough. I’m obviously not writing the story with this- I’m just goofing off with it and trying to get myself back to a point where writing comes stream of conscious for me, but yeah.

I’m trying to work on LARPG but most sessions have devolved back into constantly second guessing and rewriting the same junk over and over again, and the witty dialogue I’m known for just isn’t coming to me when I try to write it. It’s this awkward loop of sit down to write, type a sentence, feeling bad about it, delete, rephrase, and feeling worse because it still doesn’t seem right.

I’m not looking for sympathy, I just want to more accurately share what I’m going through here so you know why it’s taking me so long to accomplish things. I do feel like all I need to do is keep on waiting, though. It’s difficult to put into words but I do feel the pills doing more and more with every day. Given that I was on them for like 15+ years I shouldn’t be surprised it’s taking so long to get back to full effects after six months off of them, but it’ll be six months being back on them by Christmas so hopefully it evens out around then.

Either way, I’m committed to riding this out and I ask for patience as I continue to recover. Sharing all this is very shameful for me but I don’t want to ever give the impression that I’m an author who abandons my work. Thank you for the patience.

Stacy Panties Pinup

Another gift from Urban! I have another pic I still have to share but I thought I’d post this one first as I like it that much. Slimii remains one of my favorite artists and her take on Stacy is so good.

I want to give a better update on my state of mind right now and say that I haven’t been doing especially well and writing has hit a wall. The state of the world is quite depressing, my morale is low, and my brain is still messy. I’m working on that last part and I probably only need to be on my meds for another month or two before I’m back to full strength but as usual it’s annoying, especially with all the election shit…

Hopefully I’ll have something to show sooner than later.

Art by https://x.com/slimiiart

Cute Mia Art

My friend Urban was trying out a new artist and had Mia done by them! It came out pretty cute, interested in seeing more from them. Haven’t felt like dealing with artists these days so art acquisition has slowed. It will resume whenever my drive does.

Art by https://x.com/juded_wind

Update

Just checking in and letting you know I haven’t made much progress yet. My back injury has been especially bad this week so I’ve been mostly bedridden hoping to ease off of it in between stretches, and the few times I did try to write, nothing major came of it. It’s mostly because we recently got a new bed in our guest room which I use to be alone and it makes healing this damn thing impossible, so I’m hoping staying off of that for a while will help. I’ll let you know when I get back into things.

Love Addict’s RPG Vol. 2 Ch 86

Whew, okay. It turns out I did not just have one line left like I said yesterday and I did another 1000+ words from there along with a lot of rewriting. I’m feeling real good today though, even better now that I got this done. I hope to have 87 done a lot sooner than this one took, although that’s a very low bar. There are some pretty big changes from my outline present and I’m quite happy with the direction it took. Anyway, here’s 5000 some words of two awkward nerds sitting together on a couch. Hope it was worth the wait.

***

What remained of breakfast didn't take Zoe long. She tore through it like a wood chipper, her gratitude increasing with every bite. She thanked Oliver once again before allowing herself to kick back and enjoy her full belly.

This sense of contentment didn't last long, as Zoe knew they had much to discuss.

"So, about last night..."

"We don't have to jump right into it," Oliver said. "I'm here to hang out, not put you on trial."

"I know you're not, dude. It just feels like a sword hanging over my head, and I wanna get it outta the way. So spill it, how's Mia? Is she mad at me or super mad at me?"

"Neither,"

"Neither? Pft. Okay. I'll believe that when I see it."

"No, really," Oliver told her as gently as he could. "None of us are mad at you."

Zoe went quiet, allowing herself a hint of optimism and a raised brow. "You're not?"

"Nope. You weren't just spouting shit about wanting to change. You put your money where your mouth is, and that counts for more than you think. If anything, we're proud of you."

"C'mon, Olive," she frowned. "I might've been distracted as fuck, but it's not like I didn't notice how annoyed Mia was. You and Becca didn't look too hot, either, so cut the shit and give it to me straight."

Oliver gave her a second to collect herself before looking away and giving her what she wanted. "Things aren't so black and white. Everyone's really conflicted about what happened, but I promise pride's in there somewhere."

"And anger isn't?"

"No. We were disappointed about the timing, not at how you handled it."

"Hm," Zoe considered. The weight lifted from her shoulders was small, doing little to clear her guilt. It still felt like there was more to it than just that. "She didn't say anything to you about all this, did she?"

"Not a lot, no. Although I kinda got the sense that she's more upset at herself than she is at you. Take from that what you will." Zoe gave him a funny look upon hearing that, prompting him to continue with, "Yeah, it was weird, and I didn't get a chance to ask her about it since she kicked us out not too long after you left. She wanted to decompress alone for the night."

Zoe slumped over in her seat, groaning. "Great. Another reason to feel guilty. Sorry, Olive. Far be it from me to get in the way of your nightly dick-sucking, or whatever the fuck goes on during your little sleepovers."

"Don't sweat it," Oliver flushed as he looked away with a stony face. "I'll have you know I can get by

just fine without Mia cranking one out for me twice a day, believe it or not."

The streamer eyed him with skepticism.

"Can you?"

"I mean, it's not my preference?" Oliver shrugged. "But a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

Zoe took his word for it, nodding along blankly. She still felt sorry but didn't want to get caught in a loop repeating herself. "And how'd Becca handle it?"

"After some impromptu counseling? Decently enough. Mia suggested I take Rebecca out before dropping her off, and we had a nice, long talk about our feelings over ice cream. It seemed like it helped a lot."

Oliver's smile was brighter the second Zoe got him talking about Rebecca, and his eyes were subtly shining, too. The dude really wore his emotions on his sleeve, and she thought it was funny. Maybe even a little cute.

"Huh. Well, at least something good came outta this whole fuckin' mess... and you said it was Mia's idea?"

"Yeah, why?"

Well played, kitty-cat. Well played.

Not even a sudden case of the blues could stop Mia from advancing her kinky agenda. From one hustler to another, Zoe respected the chick's dedication.

"No reason, just curious..." she lazily remarked, taking a meditative sip of her caffeinated bile. "Lucky you, salvaging the night with a cute little date. I'm glad you were there to help take care of her."

Oliver bristled at Zoe's use of the word 'date' but didn't make a thing of it. He instead pursed his lips and said, "Rebecca's a big girl. She can take care of herself."

"Shit, yeah. You're right, I didn't mean to infantilize her. I'm just trying to be fuckin' cute about it since it's either that or moping around like a sad sack..."

"You're a big girl, too," Oliver said firmly. "So don't feel mopey about tripping over the starting line. You just need to take my hand, pick yourself up, and keep working on yourself."

Zoe looked him over momentarily, his confident words and comforting smile giving her funny feelings. She couldn't just push away all her doubts after fucking up so bad. Not when she still feared she'd potentially upset Oliver most of all.

"Is taking your hand really part of the equation, or is that just your pervy ass getting overly optimistic again?" Zoe struggled to grin back at him.

"I was just making a motivational metaphor. If you're so hung up on handholding, though, I wouldn't mind indulging your sick fantasies."

Zoe expected him to buckle at her little joke, but the guy was in rare form today and was barely affected by it. Worse, he bounced it back and made her feel even stranger. Her lips went all screwy as she twisted them in embarrassment.

Oliver sensed something was wrong when she suddenly turned away and frowned again.

"Zoe?"

Her eyelid twitched at the sound of her name. Beating around the bush was beginning to irritate her, so decided to just up and ask him.

"So you don't think Mia and Rebecca are mad at me, but what about you?"

Oliver went quiet for a few seconds, tilting his head. He then let out a tiny laugh, followed by a bigger one.

"What?" Zoe flared up. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, I just thought that me being here at all would've already answered that. You're really intent on beating yourself up over this, huh?"

"I- ugh, it's not fuckin' like that, I-" she huffed, forcing herself to face him again. "I feel bad, okay?"

"Think we've established that, yeah,"

"About what I did to you specifically, dumbass!"

"Huh?" Oliver blinked. "Uh. What did you do to me?"

Zoe didn't know whether to feel relieved or to slug him. It should've been comforting to discover her concerns were so off the mark, but guilt weighed her down, and she wasn't used to dealing with this pesky little emotion.

Who'd have thought it felt bad to feel bad about things?

"Seriously, dude? You gave a whole fuckin' speech about how much it meant to be friends with me and shit, getting me to say all those embarrassing things in the process, only for me fuck off and screw everything up!"

"...Oh," Oliver reddened. "That's what you're so hung up on?"

"Duh, why the fuck wouldn't I be?" Zoe leaned forward in her seat, sighed, and wove her fingers through her hair to grope at her scalp. "I look like a total fuckin' hypocrite after that, and I can't stand it because, believe it or not, I meant every damn word of it..."

Oliver went quiet. The truth was he didn't really care about all that. While the timing was admittedly awful, he still didn't blame Zoe for what she did. If anything, it felt oddly nice knowing how deeply concerned she was over him and the way he saw her.

Comforting her would be easy enough, but Oliver pushed himself to be more shameless. He scooted closer and placed a hand on her shoulder with a gentle smile. Zoe blushed and recoiled, though she quickly recovered after growing accustomed to his touch.

She was on the edge of her seat and awaiting his next words.

"Then prove it,"

"...Huh?"

"If you don't want to seem like a hypocrite, prove you aren't one by taking that guilt and making an effort to hang out with me. That's all I want."

Zoe tensed up as Oliver began to subtly rub her shoulder, though it wasn't long before she was leaning into his touch. This dude was good with his hands. Like, really good. Her red cheeks turned even redder as she melted against him.

"I can do that," Zoe groaned as he relieved her shoulder of an ache she didn't even know she had like it was nothing. "But is there anything else I can do? Not just to make it up to you- like, in general. I want to make a serious goddamn effort to get out of this fuckin' rut, so if you've got any tips for speedrunning that process, I'm all ears."

Normally, this wasn't the kind of thing you could rush through. Oliver having magical dating sim powers changed things. He was confident in his ability to help and made sure to sound like it as he said, "I think spending time away from your streams and with your friends instead should be enough to slowly break the hold that your addiction has over your life. Trying super hard to speed things up might just lead to another relapse."

Zoe bit her lip as Oliver dug his thumb into a pressure point, barely suppressing a moan. This felt so good that it almost scared her. Deciding the massage was too much, she scooted away before he could make her more vulnerable than she already was.

"Sorry, I should've asked-" Oliver said in a hurry, fearful that his shamelessness might've pushed the limits too fast.

"No, it's cool, dude. I liked it. Like, a lot, just... not right now, okay?" Zoe offered him a smile so humble that he almost couldn't believe who it was coming from. "Thanks, though. For everything."

[Zoe has gained +5 Affection!]

"It's what I'm here for," Oliver pridefully declared.

"Heh. Yeah, I know. Got a follow-up question for you, Mr. Therapist. Think it'd be rushing things if I hung out with Mia alone tomorrow so we can... y'know, talk? Because if you think it's too soon, I can..."

Oliver silently stared for an uncomfortably long time until Zoe nearly panicked.

"...Olive? Helloooo? Are you gonna say something, or what? You're starting to freak me the fuck out!" 

"Ah, sorry. I didn't mean to freeze up; it's just that I can't believe the day when you two sit the fuck down and talk through your bullshit might actually be upon us. Even more incredible is that you up and suggested it yourself." Oliver wiped a fake tear from his eye. "I couldn't be more proud."

"Gah- shut it, you fuckin' dumbass! I asked for your opinion, not your sarcasm. Do you think it's a good idea or not?"

Oliver wondered if Mia could even handle a solo confrontation. She'd all but begged him for help precisely because she struggled to express herself toward Zoe, but then again, she'd seemingly made big progress yesterday morning when he went back to his place. It was worth a shot.

"Of course I do, but I'll need to see where Mia's mentally at later today. I'll float the idea at her and see what she thinks. I doubt she'll say no, but are you sure you want it to be just the two of you?"

"Yeah, I wanna at least try without you having to hold our hands," Zoe looked away and hung her head. "Feels like I owe her that much, even though I'm scared as shit of what she might have to say..."

"Stressing out about it ahead of time will just make things worse. Try focusing on the here and now."

"I'll drink to that," Zoe raised her energy drink, tipped it toward Oliver, and took the tiniest of sips.

"Still trying to pace yourself?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I had this crash the other night while you two were doing your thing, and-" she stopped, her face getting really hot as her eyes darted away. "Fuck, man. I don't know. It was wild, and it got me thinking I should probably try to fuckin' cut back a bit..."

Oliver beamed.

Zoe just kept giving him more and more reasons to feel proud of her today. It was embarrassing how much he wanted to prop her up and spoil her with praise, but he knew better than to make things weird.

"Have you always been the type to drink a ton of caffeine?"

"Pretty much. I was a big coffee girl before I got a sponsorship from these fucks," she pointedly shook her can. "And it's been downhill ever since."

"I'll take a wild guess and assume you've got the same views on sleep that you do on sex?"

"What? Uh- I mean, y-yeah, basically. It's a waste of my precious time and all that. I did try to sleep a little last night, though, for whatever good it did. Only managed to sneak in about an hour..."

"Yikes, that's rough,"

"Eh, I'm used to it. I just hate closing my eyes, turning off the lights, and being alone with my thoughts, if that makes any sense?"

"Yes," Oliver laughed politely. "I'd say that's pretty damn common."

Zoe suddenly grew distant, her thoughts drifting away as she spoke. "Honestly, the loneliness is what sucks the most..."

Sensing the seriousness, Oliver chose his words carefully. Now wasn't the time to jokingly offer his company.

"And you don't feel lonely when you're gaming?"

"Nah, and streaming makes me feel even less lonely," she deigned to look over at him and said what he was thinking. "Too much of a good thing, I know, I know..."

Oliver took another chance. His hand slowly slid toward Zoe, then placed itself atop her own. It was casual and subtle, but Zoe flinched a little in surprise as she usually did before accepting the gesture.

"Why do you keep doing shit like this?" She asked, puzzled. "Swear to god, it feels like you're always trying to fuckin' put your hands all over me. I don't get it."

The question worried Oliver until he realized Zoe wasn't mad. She was genuinely trying to understand, her curious expression as she glanced between him and his hand making it obvious.

"It's partly compulsory, partly that I apparently have a thing for trying to comfort cute girls when they say sad shit," he thoughtlessly confessed, unsure about whether or not to take back his hand. "It's my fatal flaw."

"Kinda thought your fatal flaw was being an unapologetic manwhore," Zoe clicked her tongue.

"Oh, I'm very apologetic," he offered up a nervous yet sarcastic smile that got a cute laugh out of the piss goblin.

"But still a manwhore?"

Nothing Oliver could say would beat the allegations, so all he did was shrug. Shrug, and squeeze her hand a little tighter. Zoe smiled.

[Zoe has gained +5 Affection!]

"Points for honesty," she said, sadly taking her hand back. "Now, are we gonna do anything, or was your plan just to hold my hand and play therapist all day? Because as much as I appreciate you being here to help me through this, I ain't itching to open up old wounds and trauma dump all over you."

"But we've known each other for four days- haven't I earned access to your deepest, darkest secrets?"

"Nah. You know I like ya, Olive, but you gotta keep grinding away at me like I'm some kinda fuckin' dating sim character before we get that close."

"Hah," Oliver let out the most humorless laugh in the history of dramatic irony. "Right. Well. Luckily enough, I did have an idea or two."

"Great!" Zoe brightened up, fingers twitching and ready for action. "So, what are we playing?"

"Love that you just assume I want to play a video game,"

"Love that you just assume my attention span is capable of anything beyond that," Zoe countered. "And before you say anything, the board game didn't count since it was video game adjacent."

"Geez," Oliver involuntarily sighed. "I swear, you're about as well-rounded as a triangle."

The young woman pushed up her big, round glasses and slumped over, looking somewhere between annoyed and defeated. "Not much else appeals to me. I've never been much for movies or TV, music is great and all, but I can't sit still long enough to appreciate it if I'm not gaming, and forget the fuck about reading. If you can't sense a pattern here-"

"Oh, I can. You don't like doing things that don't actively engage with you, which is perfectly valid."

"Yet I still can't shake the feeling you're judging me,"

"I'm sorry if it came off that way. I'm not judging you so much as-"

"Pitying me?"

"Not pitying you, either. It's just hard to hear without wondering if it's part of the problem. I assume it's not, since Mia and Rebecca sound perfectly happy with the way you were before streaming entered the equation, but I didn't know you back then."

"Eh, fair. Sorry. I'm kinda self-conscious about it sometimes. I mean, compared to Rebecca, who's literally on the spectrum-"

"I had that same thought about you guys last night," Oliver let out a guilty laugh, earning a sharp smile from Zoe.

"Heh. Well, it's true. Her interests are so much broader than mine, it's not even funny! Chick plays tabletops, video games, paints minifigs, collects trading cards, reads books, she's a hell of a shot with an airsoft gun-"

"She's into airsoft?"

"Yup," Zoe laughed. "Don't fuck around with her if she's got one of those things in her hands. You'll lose a fuckin' eye, bare minimum."

"Huh," Oliver pictured the petite, stuttering little lass packing some serious heat. "That makes an unsettling amount of sense."

"Right? Meanwhile, there's boring ol' me..."

In no world would Oliver ever conceive of calling Zoe 'boring', though he comforted her regardless.

"I still don't personally think it's that big of a deal if you've only got the one hobby, but there's no reason you can't work on branching out if you're serious about it actually bothering you,"

"Go ahead and slap it on the growing list of shit that needs to change around here. I've gotta be up to item number... what, seven hundred by now?"

"I know it seems scary-"

"It doesn't seem scary, it is scary..." Zoe tapped her finger against her can's rim, frowning.

"I know, but don't think you need to tackle it all at once. In my experience, baby steps are the best steps."

"Yeah? How'd you figure that out?"

"Painfully," Oliver chuckled. "I've made some dumb mistakes ever since I started working to improve myself, most of which came down to biting off more than I could chew. I'd hate to see you repeat my fuck ups, so I've got a personal interest in helping out."

Zoe started to blush again as she shifted around in her seat and folded her arms. Something stupid popped into her head, and it wouldn't leave her be until she asked. The problem was how embarrassing the question was- but Zoe wanted to know, damn it.

"Damn, dude," Zoe said with a grin powered by false bravado. "You really do like me, don't you?"

The words hung there after she'd said them, and every silent second he stared back at her was torture on the soul. Zoe began feeling like she'd made a huge mistake. She tried hard not to show it, barely keeping cool.

Another chance, Oliver realized.

"In what way?"

"Uh," Zoe paused, not expecting she'd have to clarify. The question flip-flopped her perceived advantage. She'd thought he'd get tripped up much worse than her, but nope. He was chill about the whole thing. "You know...?"

"No, I don't. Not unless you elaborate."

"Forget it. I was just trying to fuck with you, same as always."

"Oh, okay," Oliver innocently smiled. "So you weren't hoping for a 'yes'?"

"Huh? W-Why the fuck would I be-"

"I dunno, it just sorta seemed that way to me..."

"Pft- what? Nuh-uh. You're just projecting."

"God, you're bad at this," Oliver failed to hold in a small laugh.

Zoe's competitiveness roared to life, her nerves twitching as she shot him a defiant look.

"Bad at what?!" She barked.

"Flirting. At least when you're taking it seriously. You're pretty good at it when you treat it like an IRL form of shitposting, but man, Zoe. You're the picture they've got next to 'all bark no bite' in the dictionary."

"T-That... that's an idiom, dumbass! It's not in the fuckin' dictionary!" Zoe defensively chugged the rest of her can and then threw it at Oliver's smirking face. It did nothing to stop him, and he just kept laughing. "And I'm not trying to flirt with you, either! You're so desperate with all this projecting, Olive. Knock it off already, or you're gonna piss me off!"

[Zoe has lost -3 Affection!]

Oliver wasn't surprised about the affection drop, but the results thankfully spoke for themselves. He'd called Zoe out, brought her feelings into the open, and made her face them a bit more. It was hard not to be happy knowing all that, but unfortunately for her, his intuition told him he could get away with more.

"So you wouldn't be happy if I told you I liked you in the way that Mia wants me to?"

"Wha... w-what do you..." Zoe stammered, heat filling her cheeks. She had to force herself to look away, scoffing, "I mean, no, of course not! Why would that make me happy? It's Mia's goal to make us into some kinda throuple, not mine. I'm just here to hang out with you, bro. It's not that deep."

"Hm, all right. Guess I'll keep my feelings to myself for now, then."

"W-Wait-" her gaze shot straight back to him. "Do you...?"

"Do I what?" Oliver cocked his head.

"Olive, don't even-"

"Don't even what?" He smiled.

"I give up. I'm not fighting this fuckin' battle, it ain't worth it." Zoe exhaled like a deflating tire.

Despite her words, Oliver noted the strange looks she kept giving him. Her violet eyes brimmed with confusion, curiosity, and so much more. Zoe was on edge, and the cutest part was that she didn't even understand why.

By the look of things, he'd probably get some affection points if he owned up to his crush on her. The attention whore clearly wanted to hear him say it, which is precisely why Oliver intended to keep that card in his pocket until the time was right.

Everything was falling into place, and it was hard not to laugh at the situation.

I can't believe I was ever worried about this. Compared to Mia, Zoe's so stupidly easy to read that it's downright adorable. Now all I've got to do is get her on board with the plan.

Zoe was getting agitated. Her restless leg thumped its foot, her finger tapped her armrest, and her lips got even screwier as her brows furrowed.

"So-" she started.

"What's the matter? Attention span giving out on you already?"

"Like you wouldn't believe. We've been sitting around talking for ages-"

"It's been like ten minutes since you finished breakfast. If that."

"A girl's got needs, Olive. I need to be doing something."

"More like you need an Adderall prescription," Oliver chuckled.

"Been there, done that," Zoe rolled her eyes. "You got like a minute or two before I whip out DokaDon Empire again, so hit me with those mysterious ideas of yours if that's a fate you wanna avoid."

Tempting. She'd presumably get an affection increase if he played with her again, which would get him very close to her first Heart Event. Maybe even trigger it.

Heart racing at the thought of progress, Oliver plotted things out. I can use this, he concluded with a smirk.

"That sounds fun and all, but I was actually hoping to take you out today,"

"Uh..." Zoe looked like he'd dumped a bucket of cold water over her head. "You know I don't really do the whole 'outside' thing, dude. That's like a core part of my pseudo-NEET persona."

"You can't drop the act long enough to visit Quarter's Up?"

Zoe subtly twitched.

"Who snitched?"

"Rebecca. I asked if she knew anywhere that might tempt you out of your cave for a few hours."

"Figures, that little rat..."

"So you are, in fact, tempted. Yes?"

"I don't fuckin' know, man. It might be fun, but it'll be awkward as hell for me since I haven't been there in years. I'd really rather we just stayed home, but that wouldn't be much of a baby step, would it?"

"Hey, I'm not gonna force you into anything you're uncomfortable with. Still. You aren't stupid, Zoe. We both know holing up indoors all day every day isn't doing you any favors. I thought we could maybe try working on that together- that maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it was somewhere you liked- but it's ultimately your call. I'll understand if you're not up to it just yet."

[Zoe has gained +1 Affection! +1 Smooth Talker]

Okay, more points for respecting her boundaries. That's good and all, but will she bite...? Oliver waited and watched Zoe slump over for the fortieth time this morning. 

"Zoe?"

"Sorry, ugh. Fuck. I can't make up my mind. It's... complicated, okay?"

"I can tell," Oliver frowned. She took his little suggestion way more seriously than expected, making him wonder what this arcade meant to her. "Like I said, if you don't want-"

"I do," Zoe interrupted, clenching her fists. "But..."

"But?"

Oliver waited for a response, but she went quiet and said nothing. Her hesitation brought to mind Julio's advice about taking charge and telling her what's what. While he had no intentions of callously manipulating her into this, he wasn't above using Zoe's competitive nature to nudge her in what he thought was the right direction.

"Well, if you can't make up your mind, why don't we just let luck decide?"

Zoe perked up ever-so-slightly. "You saying what I think you're saying?"

"Yup, go ahead and hook up DokaDon Empire. Win, and we stay home. Lose, and you're coming with me."

Zoe took a few seconds to respond, which made Oliver paranoid he'd come across as too much of a chud. His fears were eased as soon as the gamer girl rose from her seat wearing one of her trademark shit-eating grins fresh on her face.

"Now you're speaking my language, heh! You're on, Olive. Let's do this shit."

[Zoe has gained +5 Affection!]

Oliver assumed Zoe was just that happy to play with him again since he didn't get a Smooth Talker bonus. That, or she was super relieved he'd taken the decision out of her hands.

Might be something to mull over while we play, but I need to focus on winning this thing for now. Zoe's Heart Event is so close I can almost taste it, and I'll be damned if I lose out on my chance to poke this sloth into getting some sunlight.

With a single-minded determination for victory held close to his heart, Oliver took his controller the moment it was offered and readied himself to serve Zoe her ass on a silver platter.

***

Stat Changes

Zoe Myers | Status: Friend | 90/100 | ♡♡♡♡♡

Update

Next chapter should be tomorrow, I’m just stuck on the last line and my brain fog isn’t going easy on me. I also have all the stuff I need to verify my age here on Patreon so we should be good as soon as I get around to submitting it later today.

Another Update

Wanted to say something again because I’ve been doing fairly well these past few days. Before I took that break I was struggling to do a few hundred words a day and now I’m doing 1k-1.5k words pretty easily and I’m not constantly rewriting the same few lines over and over again like I was before. I’m definitely not at my prime still, I won’t be happy till I’m back at 3k a day and there’s some slight lag still, but I do think at this rate the chapter might be done sometime next week and that this is the biggest sign yet that I actually AM recovering from this nightmare. Feels good and I just wanted to talk a little about it.

I also want to talk about some shuffling around of ideas I had for the rest of the volume. From this point on will be spoilers, so don’t read it if you don’t want those and haven’t already read the current outline for the next couple of chapters.

If you’ve read the outline, you probably remember how I said that Zoe’s affection was going to seesaw back-and-forth a little so that her first heart event was drawn out a bit further away. Now that I’m working on it and writing their interactions, I don’t think that makes sense anymore, and I also think that everything that happens while they are at their little arcade date and the slight lewd stuff that happens after it’s pretty much on the level of a heart event already so I’m just going to go for it. I am going to tone down some of the naughtiness when we get to that scene, though. It will probably just be making out and heavy petting.

Ultimately I was building up to her heart event being what eventually snaps her out of being a total hermit, but I think it’s too soon for her to decide ‘okay I’m going to start leaving the house more often’. The hangout is just a taste of that for her, I was planning on having their be a meet and greet for a famous game developer and he would have to take her to it as her first heart event but I think that would serve much better as her second one now that I’ve had more time to think about it. The problem is I doubt we will reach that in this book, so I’m going to reconsider my plans somewhat.

Stacy and Tessa both have big moments planned for the next day in-story, but it still wasn’t going to be a huge focus, so I’m thinking that in order to go with my original ending I had in mind for this book which is going to be quite lewd, I need something to take the place of the time frame of where I was originally going to put Zoe‘s first heart event. I don’t entirely know what yet but I’m already thinking that I will give that timeslot for something with Stacy. Rebecca already had a big focus and there’s going to be a big cliffhanger regarding her at the end of the volume and Tessa really shouldn’t have more than one big moment a book right now when her development is supposed to be subtle and building up overtime, and for the planned ending to make sense he has to be away from Mia.

So really that just means a follow up on what was already planned to happen with Stacy is the only option that makes sense.

I won’t spoil what happens with Tessa tomorrow but Stacy is going to have an accident at work where she sprains her ankle and Oliver end up volunteering to drive her home which she turns out not to be happy about since this means he will find out she lives in a cheap trailer park outside of town to save money. He’s obviously not a judgmental person so the whole thing will be a nice character moment where he gets to know her, sees her house essentially, and they presumably talk about her apology at the end of volume one.

With her having a sprained ankle it shouldn’t be too hard to come up with some excuse for them to hang out again the day after this. We’ll see, I just wanted to share some of my thoughts now that I’m actively working on the story again and having new ideas for it.

Update

Not sure why it hasn’t temporarily suspended me yet because I still haven’t verified as there was a problem getting me my replacement birth certificate, but I’ve been quiet thinking it wouldn’t be worth posting anything until it cleared up. But since I still have access here I figured I’d let you know what I’m up to.

I finished my reread of vol 2. Last week and as of a few days ago I officially started work on chapter 86 again. It was rough at first but it’s going a lot better now. No estimate on it but just know that I’m actively working on LARPG again and will continue to do so if I get temp suspended.

I also have another story idea that I need to write out sometime because I have about 17x more ideas for it than the summoner one but I haven’t been in a rush to do so, preferring to let it stew for a while first.

Thanks for being patient during my recovery, I hope to get some content out as soon as possible and I’m happy it looks like things are slowly on the upswing.

Important Reminder

Because I’m still waiting for my new birth certificate to get were for age verification, Patreon will temporarily suspend me tomorrow. Don’t worry about it too much. I should hopefully be back fairly soon as I paid for fast shipping and all that.

I noticed a few new patrons in the last few days and I wanted to leave this link here in case you don’t manage to read all of volume 2’s current chapters before my suspension. https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1eXc1n_Nnu6O-0Nyez4IQnv-iH7ftCyVN

Lastly, an update on myself. I’ve reread 61-73 so far in the last two days and once I’m current again I’ll get straight to work on 86. Feeling optimistic since rereading has put me in a good mood.

Internet is Back

Weirdly enough once we called and scheduled an appointment to have it installed, my internet company turned back on the normal Wi-Fi for us until then. So I’m back now fully, and I’m getting the fiber optic cable shit on Friday. Not much to complain about I suppose.

My first order of business is exactly what I said yesterday- rereading and editing all the chapters of LARPG vol 2 so far to get myself back in the headspace to work on it. I’m pretty optimistic about my current mental state from where I was a month ago so I’m hopeful things will turn out alright once I get back into the swing of things.

As for that other story idea I vented about, developing it is not a priority at the moment and that was more to get it out of my head. I’d like to do something with it at some point but a lot of thinking needs to go into it. I know a few people suggested dropping the card game aspect of it and focusing more on the Pokémon influence but the whole thing was I wanted it to be both. The main spirits were the focus and cards would just be to support them, but I digress. I don’t really want to get into it other than acknowledging I saw those ideas and if anything comes of this story idea we’ll see where I take it.

Update and Random Story Idea

This is an extremely loose story idea I had over the last week, week and a half or so. I’m not looking to drop LARPG and move over to this, this is just the first piece of writing I’ve done in over a month and I felt like I should probably get it out since it won’t leave me alone. My condition is feeling better. I don’t know what it’s going to be like when I sit down to work on prose yet, but I’m optimistic. I’m just waiting to get internet back before I dive back into the chapters I was working on. I may also need to take some time to reread all of the chapters I’ve done for volume two so far so I can get back into the headspace and remind myself of all the running jokes that might’ve lapsed my mind in the time since. I have a good memory, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Regarding Internet, we’re making the call to the company tomorrow morning and I will know when they plan to come over and install it after that. Also, ordering a birth certificate wasn’t as difficult as I was worried it would be so I should be able to get that verification thing finished before the deadline.

As for the story idea, I’m not fully sure where it came from. I’ve been juggling a bunch of different ideas because I’ve been scared I won’t feel like working on LARPG. I’m not scared about that anymore, not after the last few weeks have seen some major improvements to my state of mind, but that doesn’t mean I can’t hold onto this one and do something with it at some point.

I really like proxy/card battle stuff and this premise would lead to more lewd scenes than LARPG currently has which I really miss writing. I don’t know why I thought of a card battling thing when I’ve been in a void getting high for the last month, but it happened so whatever.

Apologies if you take the time to read this- this document is essentially just me ranting into the Notes tab on my iPad with dictation turned on so there are errors all over the place, and in addition to that, I jumped around the document going back and adding different thoughts haphazardly, there might be some repetitive information and it certainly isn’t well structured.

No terms/phrases are final.

***

The main character is young, 18 or 20. He should be your typical card battling hero sort of guy, who has his head totally focused on becoming a summoner. Toying around with the idea of him having a missing older brother who was an upcoming summoner. He left the main character most of the stuff he would need to become a summoner but not all of it. I’m thinking that you need several pieces of equipment. A dueling glove, a folio to hold all of your summons, a magic glasses thing which I will explain later, and a deck box. Even more so than all that, you need resources that aren’t readily available to the average person in this world. 

Summoners enter into the various different astral planes through meditation and in order to get to the different planes you have to have burnable resources. Not specifically ones that need to be put on fire but magical things that are drained upon use. That makes it so costly, as every different astral plane has different resources to take you there. You have to have the natural talent to break through, and even then it’s not enough. You have to adventure around in your astral body looking for spirits, solving their problems, and doing whatever you can to gain their trust before they will enter into a contract with you.

Spirits will come in at least two types, deck leaders and minions. Better names to be determined. Leaders are the main focus. Like in Pokémon the goal of the battle between summoners is to defeat all of the leaders in the other players deck. Leaders are often but not always totally sentient beings and the difference between them and minions is often night and day they have much more defined personalities, and a much higher ceiling for growth. All spirits can be trained to become stronger than their base forms but leaders are the main focus as I already said I’ll need to work out more on their mechanics if I actually do this story. I think they would have natural abilities and then to make things more exciting bonding with them would unlock card like abilities when they are played. Minions and spell cards are drawn from a deck but leaders can be summoned at any time. Usually there’s only one or two on a field, and you build their deck around them.

Speaking of spell cards, my idea is that summoners channel the magical energy of the different astral planes into reusable spells. It takes time to craft these, and the deeper trance you are in or the more power you pull into them the stronger the spell is. Unlike monsters which are much more individualistic and subject to change, spell cards are recognized and documented.

Battles are performed on a table which supplements the users energy, allowing them to draw on their powers without actually being in the astral planes. The mark of a powerful summoner is that they don’t need these tables to summon their monsters into the real world. Naturally the battles are the biggest part of society, and summoners essentially rule this civilization so high-ranking people are accompanied by their summons. Low ranking people mostly just have chibified versions of their summons at best. The tables are not huge when you’re just starting out. It summons miniature versions of your spirits so they can do battle like a tabletop scale game. of course high-ranking battles don’t need the tables and they just battle full scale in huge arenas.

Some more ideas about the world. I’m thinking that it’s somewhat high-tech magically speaking. Energy is extracted from summoned spirits and treasures to power the world and everything in life relies on it. The different types of energy power different things. Energy can be created by summons channeling their power into reusable crystals or by filling similar crystals with the energy of the different planes you visit. Ice energy goes into freezing things, and so on.

Going more into detail about the setting, I felt it would be interesting if it takes place in a giant floating city that is shielded from the void on all sides. Long ago this city used to be part of some generic fantasy world. There aren’t too many records from that time. Some say there used to be other types of magic that didn’t involve cards and summons, but eventually they got tired of living in their original world and reverse summoned themselves elsewhere. There would be multiple other floating cities as well as large floating islands where agriculture flourishes, ones where wildlife and fish are grown, etc.

Let’s talk more about going into the astral planes. My idea is that when you’re just starting out you are essentially a ghostly projection of yourself. You still feel things, but you’re ghostly and glowing and translucent. The strong you are, the more physically real your presence is. Like I said before, there are many different astral planes to visit. By default, the main is just your generic purple void astral plain where the stars and cosmological creatures are- this place literally surrounds the setting on all sides and it’s held back by a magical shield. I’m sure there is a good plotline there about the shield eventually cracking and the void starting to seep in, but that’s getting off-topic.

This is where summoners ended up if they just use standard astralite to get into their trance. It’s typically considered the safest plane so long as you stick to the shallows. Most new summoners get their start here and create pacts with weak star themed monsters. Unless energy of a different plane is readily available to you.

My thoughts were that the main character would have his first leader be a rare star born type of girl with the rare ability to transport things back to him in the real world. Naturally this gives him a huge edge up on other summoners by allowing him to play catch-up. He’ll have access to treasures. Perhaps each plane has three different instances. The shallows, the deep, and the abyss. Not the actual names, just the meaning. Levels would be another way to put it. The more resources you put into it, the deeper you’ll go. The deeper you go, the stronger the spirits and magic spells you can create from the plane are. Not fully set in stone. Spirits from lower levels can naturally become as strong as deeper ones if enough time was put into them. More exciting that way, but powerful ones are still exciting.

The way to deepen a bond with your spirit is as you expect. Do things for them, give them offerings, create actual relationships with them, and so on. Most of the sex comes from here, as many of his monsters will form a growing harem in addition to the girls he bonds with in real life. Some humans and spirits can breed with each other but only extremely powerful summoners can actually create offspring with their spirits. I don’t want to mess with that too much right now, I’m just saying it’s part of the setting. These half breeds are naturally idolized in the society since they have immense natural born talent in the summoning arts.

I think that part of it would be called giving over essence or something like that. Summon creatures and spirits will want to be given power from the souls of their summoner. This is done through abstract means typically, like cutting open the finger while in the astral plane and offering essence. This is where some of the sex stuff can come in as offering essence through that manner is very potent. 

I have the thought that it would be interesting if he was paraplegic to some degree. It would tie into his character backstory, as I plan for his dueling style to be focused on taking risks and making gambles. He would start off hesitant to do so because of his childhood accident where he bet his brother he could climb a tree. It didn’t go well And it left him meek and risk adverse. He has a magical chair which his brother bought him from his income as a summoner. This chair has several modes. A standard wheelchair, a standing one, and leg braces which allow him to walk for a while although it’s painful. It is powered through the same energy everything else is, so he has to spend a lot to keep himself mobile at the start of the story. This is keeping him from becoming a summoner.

Also, it’s probably exclusively leg damage and not spine. I want him capable of some level of sex outside of the astral plane.

His brother disappeared when he was 14 and he started work a year after that. At the start of the story he works at a processing facility where big chunks of astralite or whatever it’s called is processed. Using his soul energy he and the other factory workers split them apart and process them into small, sellable chunks. Because he’s been doing it for so long it means that he has a pretty good handle on controlling his soul, which will give him a leg up when he actually starts his adventures. I’m thinking after his call to action that he makes the decision to take a risk and steal some of these crystals, doing so in a way that frames an asshole coworker somehow so that he doesn’t get caught. This is what helps him finally enter the astral plane.

After some more thought I don’t believe he will steal the crystals, instead the risk that he takes will be going without the healing crystals that go into his wheelchair for a month. They cost a lot and relieve his pain, so he’ll push himself to work hard without them and afford a big thing of astralite. it’ll make him more likable and show how risky he’s willing to get.

As for what his call to action is, I’m thinking that most of his free time is spent at a local summoner facility kind of like a game shop. These would be scattered all over the city, though he lives in a rougher part of the world so his isn’t all that big. They are also kind of like community centers because people love to come and watch and place bets on the summoners who show up. He has a few friends here, and getting to watch the matches is what gives his life purpose.

One of these friends I’m thinking is a jaded, cynical woman in her early 30s who is practically always drunk. The right side of her body is super fucked up somehow, and she used to be a talented and popular high-ranking summoner. There was some accident in the astral plane that ended her career and now she’s like this. I’m thinking she lost two of her limbs and without those parts of her body she can’t efficiently channel her soul and it made Her unable to wield most of her power, effectively cutting off access to most of her most powerful summons. The condition might be more serious than that, like her network of soul energy or whatever the fuck is all twisted and tangled so she can only play matches with very low level cards and summons.

They get along well because of their mutual disabilities, constantly making jokes at each other’s expense. She is who pushes him to make a change in his life. She knows that he has really good insight because of them sitting around watching matches together in the card hall. She thinks he would make a great summoner and it’s not like he doesn’t want to be one. She plants the idea of stealing into his head and tells him to take a risk for once in his life, Which somehow gets through to him. 

The older woman will essentially become his disgruntled mentor after he does the thing and winds up with a rare summon during his first dive or whatever you call it. She knew he had potential but seeing him succeed off the bat gets her going and after a little internal debating She’ll take him under her wing and provide resources and advice for him so he can quit his job. She has a lot of money and the only thing she spends it on is alcohol, so she might as well. The protagonist will be hesitant about this but ultimately caves in. Being a summoner is really expensive when you’re just starting off and he takes the help she offers. Yes, she could’ve helped him before, but she didn’t have that spark until he actually did something for himself. I also plan for her to make the most of their arrangement, teasing him by calling herself his sugar mommy and so on.

At some point she will develop that part of their relationship into something more concrete, especially because she teases him in her teaching that getting off before going into your trance or even better finishing right as your mind falls into the trance leads to a more powerful one. She doesn’t volunteer herself to help, not at first, anyway, but it will be fun.

She has a big house including a special room called a sanctum which is highly valued by summoners. These are like special meditation rooms with tiles lined by expensive materials which not only increase one’s connection to the astral plane but at higher levels allows you to bring a part of it into the real world. By that I mean you can physically interact with your summons inside of sanctums and move your body around freely as if you were in the astral realm. You still have to actually be strong enough to use a sanctum to its fullest ability though its still something.

The first astral plane beyond the basic one that the protagonist accesses is going to be themed around fantasy adventuring, something like ‘The Glade of Heroes’ where you’d find goblins, slimes, and other basic DND type things alongside spirits called hero souls. In this realm you would walk around until you find random quest boards that are scattered throughout the place which lead to points of interest. I believe his mentor used to specialize in hero soul cards, along with a few other archetypes I have in mind, and how he would be able to access the place.

Sidenote. The astral planes are all incredibly loose places. Being inside them is like being in a dream- nothing totally makes sense and things can change when you’re not looking or even when you are. They aren’t ‘real’ places strictly speaking. They’re fluid. Maybe there are a few actual landmarks by the spaces in between these places are never the same. Additionally, it takes strong willpower to navigate these places without getting lost. You need to have a clear focus on what you’re looking to get out of your time in an astral plane. If you’re looking for monsters to add to your deck, you need to be thinking about monsters, if you’re looking for treasure, that needs to be what you’re thinking about, and so on. The planes have a way of guiding people toward what they want to find.

Another sidenote. I mentioned that magic glasses kind of like a scouter from Dragon Ball Would be part of the equipment you need to be a summoner. These are especially helpful in navigating the astral planes because they display litRPG notifications such as scanning treasures and displaying monster info. In actual summoner battles this would be the excuse to include text without having to have a character explain everything every single time.

Back on the glade, I have ideas for 3 leader girls who he’d get from here. The first would be a slime girl who he raises up from being a puddle and is surprised when she turns out not to be a minion but a leader. She’s very cute yet strangely ambitious for someone so seemingly simple minded. The second would be a goblin chief girl who after helping her with whatever would proclaim him her husband and after learning that summoners can’t impregnate their spirits unless they’re super strong that becomes her goal, helping him become that strong. Lastly I had an idea for a cute dragon girl. The protagonist would run into a group of hero souls, dragon hunters, and at first he is excited at the prospect of catching one of these guys when they offer to become minions if he helps them hunt a newly hatched dragon. There would be a subversion at the climax of this little plot line where the newly hatched dragon turns out to be a cute, petite, shy girl who wears her eggshell as a bikini. He’s left with no choice but to turn on the dragon hunters and she would become another one of his leaders.

His early deck would be a mix of these adventuring monsters as well as stuff from the basic astral plane, like stardust monsters, comet monsters, and so on. He wouldn’t have one single specialization as the story goes on, I’d want him to use lots of different monsters and lots of different decks. As I mentioned, his main thing is that he gets wild ideas that are really risky and he pulls them off by the skin of his teeth. When he starts become a public figure, people get the idea that he’s unhinged, some even think he’s pushing his monsters too far but the only reason he was able to get them to go along with his ideas because he’s so close to them.

I think it would be pretty funny if it’s unnatural how often female spirits are drawn to him and that’s another thing that the public would fixate on about him as he becomes more and more famous as a summoner. I should probably say that in this world high-ranking summoners are all celebrities, though that’s par for the course in stories like this. The higher he rises through the rankings, the more eyes will be on him. The more attention he will get, too.

Powerful summoners are incentivized to have lots of children as magical power is passed down more often than not through bloodlines. Perhaps there could be trouble on the horizon as gifted people are being born in the current age. This means there are many noble houses with long lines of summoners and tons of resources to give their progeny. I believe that they are running through line with the nobility would be a belief that too many commoners are expressing interest in becoming summoners, and that’s another reason why the price summoning is so high. They look down on the common folk and don’t want them to become able to overthrow them, but they are kind of shooting themselves in the foot since making the barriers entry so expensive means there are less summoners and people who have low talent don’t get the chance to train up their skills and become better over time. Although I don’t think the problem is that there are less summoners, it’s that the big houses aren’t producing high tier summoner after high tier summoner. I don’t know, this part of the document is just me going off on a tangent and sounding out ideas.

One of the main characters I had in mind would be a reject from one of these noble houses who frequents the crappy card hall the protagonist does. She’s a creepy little weirdo from a house that specializes in insect monsters. Not the most powerful already, and even by their standards she is super weak. He might start off with a minor crush on her, to which his older mentor and some of his spirits would be like really? Her? But he’s attracted to how hard she works. I think after a point her family would unofficially disown her and she would no longer have the resources they provided.

This girl might be another stray he convinces his mentor to invest in and they would grow close as he encourages her to come out of her shell. A random idea I had that would be cute is if they travel to the bug realm she frequents hoping to get this really powerful insect queen monster or something and that plot line would resolve with her not getting that queen but instead the two of them getting two of her eggs, which with enough training would become a butterfly girl for him and a moth girl for her.

She’s definitely a creepy weirdo type girl big round glasses, shaggy hair covering her eyes, but deeply passionate and loyal once you get to know her. Mentor would probably jokingly prod them into doing lewd things together when they are using the sanctum at the same time.

Another idea I have for an IRL love interest would be his card hall’s cute and plucky commentator girl. Commentators are idols in this world and she is super nice and friendly but very disappointed with her her current lot in life. As stated, this card hall is a really shitty one and she would be stationed there with not a lot of chances to prove she deserves to be out there in the world doing bigger and better event coverages. They would know each other at the start and a funny idea I had was that when his slime girl first takes on a human form for him she reads his emotion because of their bond and takes a very similar form to this girl which would lead to some confusion and some explaining to do. The slime does it because she knows he would like it. I think it would be cute if he promises her to have tons of exciting matches for her to commentate and help boost her career along with his. She would not be a summoner, she doesn’t have the gift for it, but she would be his biggest cheerleader and would have to try hard not to show it when she is commentating his matches.

Switching gears here, let’s talk more about the combat mechanics. Again I want to stress that it’s more like Pokémon than an actual TCG. I’d be designing cards to make interesting stories, not for an actual game. The way I see it is that you have your deck full of minions and spells and then your leaders can be summoned at any time. There will be different formats, but the goal is to defeats all enemy leaders. Although the summoners take turns going back-and-forth, the summoned spirits battle in real time. This means that the summoner can give orders even when it’s not their turn, and their main role is to serve as their support and tactician.

Monsters will have two values, attack and health. Self-explanatory. Clean hits will take the total and subtract it from the health. This will all have slight litRPG mechanics- monsters will grow stronger the more they fight, they have the potential to evolve into new forms and as their bond with their master grow they will unlock special synergy skills. An example I have in mind is the starborn girl, who after further bonding would unlock an ability to create wormholes to other parts of the game board, allowing herself to escape more easily, transport allies to specific targets, and so on.

Spell cards would be just as an important part of the game as monsters, and they should be equally self-explanatory. We would see all kinds of things like one and done effects, convoluted shit, summonable constructs, effects to change the terrain, and more. I’ll have to list out all the different categories I can think of if I move forward with this as well as determine the actual flow of the game. I wouldn’t want it to be overly complicated, so it would probably be something simple like the player draws, they can play either a leader or a minion once per return, and can do whatever they want regarding spells.

Actually, no. I think there needs to be an expendable resource. Since every character will be wearing gloves anyway, I think it would be cool to have a spot on these gloves that indicates how much current points they have. I don’t want to call it mana but let’s say there are 10 dull crystals attached to the glove’s cuff and they glow With however many they have at that current time. Whether this resource is set and recovers every return is something I’ll have to figure out eventually, but then cards can have costs and that would help with the mechanics of writing it. That way characters will have to choose between using synergy skills or spells every turn.

I should also mention that leader spirits are not part of the main deck. They are separate, and can be summoned at any time but you always have to have one on the field at all times. I think the most common type of battle would be three versus three whereas full scale event matches would be six versus six. This leads to tension because even if you know your opponent and the type of monsters they work with you can’t be sure which of their leaders they will actually pick, and they may have different deck combinations for the variations of leaders.

The main loop of the story would be training the monsters he has, delving into new astral planes to get new cards, and taking part in IRL matches and tournaments to move up through the rankings. Of course I’m sure there’d be room to fit in evil plots, villains and over the top threats like you’d see in Yugioh. Feel free to let me know your thoughts!

Good news, bad news

Good news is net should be back next week. Bad news is I put off age verification on Patreon for a lot longer than I should’ve and now they’re finally making me do it. The problem is I don’t have an ID card and don’t know where any of my other stuff is so I’ll have to get that sorted out but I doubt it’ll be in time for the deadline they gave me. It’s not a huge deal, they will just temporarily suspend me on the 11th and I’ll get it reactivated as soon as I get it taken care of. Your subscriptions won’t be affected, I just won’t be able to post here until I get it back. That’s all for now, glad things are picking up again.

Update

Hey guys, just letting you know things have taken longer than expected due to me pulling something in my back while cleaning on top of not being in a general hurry to return these last few weeks. It’s been nice not worrying about things mostly and pretty much everything is done now so I think it’s feasible I can get the internet back this next week, early next week if especially lazy. Mentally I’m doing okay. We’ll see where I’m at when I’m actually back working on things but I’m remaining optimistic.

Update

I’m using my gf’s mobile hotspot thing to check in and say I’m doing okay, cleaning is going fine, maybe we’ll be done sometime next week but I’m not sure. I’m also just enjoying the time off the internet so I’m not in a huge rush. I haven’t done any writing, I’ve mostly been treating this as a vacation. Getting high every day and playing Rimworld lol. It’s hard to say how I’m feeling but I’m hoping this time away helps the block I’ve been in. Thanks for being patient, I’ll check in again when I have a more solid idea on when I’ll be back.

Rebecca Beach Pinup

Gift from Milly! This is just another reason Rebecca doesn’t like the beach. I imagine she would be incredibly good at sandcastles, though! I thought this would make a very funny and cute idea for a pic hehe.

Art by https://www.reddit.com/u/Veronik_OwO/s/6awkD9lFku

Minor Bad News

Hey everyone, something I needed to share. I’m going to be without Internet from one to two weeks as my provider is forcing me to switch to fiber optic cable or whatever and because of my bad mood I didn’t manage to get the house clean in time for the deadline. It’s mostly done, But they are requiring the entire house to be clean so that they can inspect where the cables go. It’s really annoying and there are no other options where I live. It wouldn’t have been so bad if my moods weren’t the way that they are, but as you can imagine that really stopped me from cleaning as fast as we kind of needed.

I will still be getting a tiny bit of work done but this month has been rough so far and I’ve barely been able to focus. Every time I sit down I just keep rewriting bits and pieces of the same thousand or so words of the next chapter that I’ve done so far. I’ve decided that if this continues by the end of the month I’m probably going to increase my dosage since I’m getting extremely sick of this. The last couple of days in general I’ve just been zoning out playing RimWorld for the first time and I’m kind of obsessing over it.

I have a quick surprise art to post for you guys but I will otherwise post a new status update the next time I’m around. Hopefully I’ll see you guys soon!

Update

Not too much to say but I haven’t really said anything in a while so I’m just updating you all. Next chapter isn’t going great as what little work I’ve done has been subject to lots and lots of rewrites and I’m only about 1k words in so far. Mood isn’t up and down so much, still feeling things stabilize and I’m trying to help that go easier. We will see how things go.

Zoe Beach Pinup

Gift from Milly! Here we see Zoe being forced into going to the beach. Definitely not her thing but miracles happen.

Feeling decent today but there’s been a heatwave for the last two days so I’ve barely done any work on 86 yet. Hoping it clears up soon because it’s making me very annoyed.

Art by https://www.reddit.com/u/Veronik_OwO/s/6awkD9lFku

Love Addict’s RPG Vol 2 Ch 85

And it’s finally done. I think it’s a pretty fun one and a good start to the new day. This last week has been very up and down as I’ve felt the medication starting to straighten me out and stabilize my emotions a lot more compared to a few weeks ago, but I have no idea how long this stabilization phase will last. I’m feeling better but it’s only marginally. I almost didn’t finish this one today but I challenged myself to at least do that much, and I’m happy I did. Releasing new stuff and seeing your comments is the biggest boost to my mood I ever get!

For those who haven’t read the outline, expect today to have a split focus between Zoe during the day and Mia at night. Fun things are coming.

***

Sunday, February 25th

Oliver began the next day with a thrilling lesson on the difference between a weed hangover and a drinking hangover. He'd only experienced the former, which always left him sluggish and disassociative. Waking up after binge drinking dialed that sluggishness up to eleven while slapping on a horrifying headache to go along with it.

It was like someone threw him in a church bell before hammering it a few hundred times. Naturally, the generic royalty-free BGM running through his mind was appreciated now more than ever.

Ten out of ten, magic dating sims powers. No notes. He mentally grumbled, sitting up and nearly hurling in the process. A pan sizzled in his kitchen, and the smell drifting his way did nothing to help his aching stomach.

"What're you cooking over there...?" Oliver asked, rubbing his eyes. Several notifications blocked his line of sight which he purposefully ignored while rejoining the waking world.

"A special [Hangover Cure Recipe] I learned FROM one of my [Acquaintances]!" Bradley cheerily clued him in. "Should clear you RIGHT up my, [Friend]!"

"Thank God. I don't know how I'd survive without you."

"Poorly?"

"Hm. Actually, yeah. 'Poorly' sums it right up." Oliver stretched out with a yawn. After confirming it was ten in the morning, he checked his notifications. One was good, one was bad.

The good,

[Milestone Achieved! Hung out with Mia's Brothers +30LP]

The bad,

[Spent $200]

Oliver's headache doubled in intensity as he cradled his face in his palm. "Bradley, any chance you can tell me why I spent a fifth of my savings last night?"

"I CERTAINLY could! However, we both know you're ASKING me another of your infamous [Rhetorical Questions]. Why don't you [Take a Stab] at IT?"

"Juan talked me into paying the tab, didn't he?"

"Ding, ding, DING! A [Winner] IS [You]!"

"And Julio just let that happen?"

"Indeed, he did! I believe he CALLED it their [Advisory Fee]."

"Those fucking scumbags," Oliver laughed, shaking his head.

Honestly, he wasn't even mad. Buying their drinks was the least he could do after the mess his powers put them through, and from what he could remember, Oliver had a lot of fun hanging out with the twins last night. That alone was well worth the price of admission. Getting 30LP for hermano happy hour made the trade-off sting less, too.

Oliver thought it was nice that his powers awarded him for getting closer to Mia's family. He wouldn't have expected it beforehand, but now it was something he'd have to keep in mind going forward.

"If it comes as ANY [consolation], I bought my OWN [Drinks]!"

"Of course you did," Oliver dragged himself from his bed to the coffee table. "And for that, I thank you."

Next came shooting Mia a text, telling her he hoped she had a good time today and he'd see her later. She didn't respond, which was fine. She was probably already at her parents' house, and Oliver knew she didn't check her phone while there.

It was more for him than it was for her. Texting his girlfriend made the little idiot happy.

One thing Oliver wasn't happy about was his mostly unintentional decision to get blackout drunk. It just sort of happened. Juan and Julio kept drinking, and therefore so did he. This meant he didn't get to sneak in any stat training with Sleep Optimization. 

Tonight for sure, he thought, doubling his conviction. He had a lot on his plate today, but he wouldn't get anywhere with his heroines if he didn't start putting the work in, and far be it from Oliver not to rise to the occasion.

He only wished he didn't have to rise to the occasion of eating Bradley's supposed hangover cure. Breakfast was a random assortment of fruits and vegetables cooked in bacon grease. That by itself wasn't the weirdest thing in the world. Oliver was sure it'd taste great on broccoli, but he wasn't convinced it was a natural fit for dragon fruits, sunchokes, or Jamaican tangelos.

Sucking it up, Oliver suffered every bite and was better off for it. His hangover faded the more he worked through the meal. Not that he doubted Bradley for even a second. The man got results.

"So. Did I miss anything big after you joined the party last night?" Oliver asked from the kitchen sink. He was washing his plate and the pan, wanting out of guilt to at least do some of the work around here.

"Not MUCH! After THAT point, the [Topic of Discussion] primarily FOCUSED around [Embarrassing Stories] taken from the youth of [First Girlfriend Mia Rosas]!"

"Wait, really? Fucking damn it. I remember every word of advice the twins shot my way, but not so much as a lick of that." Oliver pouted. "She got lucky."

"If you SO [Desire], I can [Recount] the many [Personal Anecdotes] that were SHARED!"

"Nah, I'd feel weird hearing about that kinda stuff coming from you. No offense."

"NONE taken!" Bradley shot him a wink along with the finger guns of understanding. The artificial bro then recalled something, saying, "Ah, yes. I believe there WAS one [Matter of Importance] worth [Reiterating] in CASE you've [Chugged Away] the memory! [Julio Rosas] proposed a follow-up [Strategy Meeting] next Saturday to DISCUSS your approach regarding [Potential Fifth Heroine Rebecca Bergmann]!"

"...I didn't say anything stupid, did I?"

"Is this another [Rhetorical-"

"No. Well, kind of? I was drunk as hell. I'm sure I said tons of stupid shit, but did I say anything stupid about Rebecca?"

"To QUOTE the [Oldest] of the [Rosas Siblings] when you [Nervously Asked] him the SAME exact [Question], you didn't HAVE to!"

Oliver closed his eyes and sighed. "Whatever. We'll put a pin in that for now, one thing at a time."

"You've been SAYING that so much it MIGHT as well be your [Personal Motto]!"

"Wouldn't be the worst words I've lived by," he managed a dark laugh while finishing his chore.

The boys then moved on and discussed pregame strategy.

There was little to be said. Oliver simply repeated the twin's advice to Bradley, making doubly sure he still remembered. Everything boiled down to not being afraid of lowering Zoe's affection score in the short term, playing hard to get, being shameless, and pushing forward no matter what.

Business as usual.

Wanting to get a move on, Oliver gave Bradley a firm handshake before the guy ventured off to presumably collect more bizarre hobo recipes for his repertoire. A hot shower came next. Oliver spent the entire time building his confidence, sharpening his focus by repeating positive affirmations within his mind.

He emerged with a determined expression that disappeared with a laugh once he saw how goofy he looked in the mirror.

Doing his hair and picking an outfit took longer than usual. Embarrassing as it was to admit, he knew the reason why. Oliver wanted to impress Zoe. Even if she didn't get another affection boost, knowing he looked good still did his confidence wonders.

Yeah, this'll do, he smiled at his reflection, pleased with the wavy-haired guy in a tight white tank top, navy blue button-up shirt, and black cargo shorts smiling back. Oliver left his bathroom after giving Gollum a fistbump... but not before feeling embarrassed about it.

It was 11:00 once he'd finished all his preening. Before heading over to the girl's place, Oliver wanted to check if Zoe had taken a break at any point since she'd fucked off to her room.

He booted up her Tweak page, which showed she was live. That was far from shocking, but he was surprised to see she'd only been streaming for about three hours. Zoe's archive revealed the previous stream started after she'd gone back to her room and ended three hours before the current one.

Oliver smiled.

Great. Looks like Zoe at least tried to sleep last night. Doubt this means she'll be any less pissed when I pull the plug, but still. Credit where it's due.

Oliver watched some of her current stream to see what she was doing. Her room was as dark and neon-lit as ever, though she sat on a big exercise ball in front of her TV instead of hanging out at her computer. She was speedrunning an early 3D stealth game while wearing a tacky camo bikini, cat-eared headphones, and thigh highs.

It goes without saying that she was making damn good use of the exercise ball, bouncing in such a way that kept the donations flowing. Oliver gulped, trying to suppress the part of himself that wished he was the ball. He shook the lust off, focusing less on Zoe's body and more on the game.

Zoe's stream was currently titled '#SlothingOut with Iron Cog'. He knew from going through her content on Me2ube that 'Slothing Out' was the name of her more casual streams where she played whatever she felt like. He also knew that she did a lot less of them than she used to in favor of recent releases and whatever's trending.

Oliver was happy to see Zoe taking it easy with one of her old favorites, but he was even happier to hear this speedrun was almost over.

"Almost there, chat. Just gotta hit C4 skip and then backward stealth jump during the Gatling Corvid boss fight. We'll hit the end credits in juuuust a few if we can pull it off, you fuckin' pervs...!" Zoe said, grinning like a madwoman. She had a fire burning in her eyes so fierce it almost distracted from her tits nearly spilling out between strategic bounces.

Damn it, Zoe, he sighed.

Oliver was amused and profoundly curious about how she hadn't been temp-banned sooner.

He stopped watching upon noticing his growing distraction. Despite that he'd never even played the game, listening to Zoe rant and rave about speedrunning techniques was tons of fun. That, or his crush on Zoe big enough that he could listen to her talk about paint drying and still find the entertainment value.

Oliver shrugged off his simping and walked to his car. He didn't zoom straight over to their apartment once his fast travel menu opened. Grabbing Zoe something to eat to quell her inevitable gamer rage seemed a smart idea, so he warped to a random fast food joint and bought a random smattering of junk off their breakfast menu. 

While Oliver didn't know Zoe's exact tastes, he doubted the insatiable roommate would have many complaints given her bottomless appetite.

[Spent $30]

It might not be Aphrodite's, but here's hoping...

He momentarily parked and opened his car door again to retrigger the menu, then arrived at the girls' place seconds later. Mia thankfully remembered to leave the door unlocked for him, so he came in, kicked off his shoes, turned on some lights, and set the food on the coffee table. It was as silent as the grave, aside from Zoe occasionally breaking through her soundproofing.

Next came the hard part.

As someone who suffered from social anxiety, not much terrified Oliver more than the thought of inconveniencing someone he liked. Especially when it'd get him yelled at. Oh well. Now was the time to suck it up, and far be it from him to not rise to the occasion.

Oliver sent Zoe a text message warning her that he was in the living room, giving her a few minutes to respond and end the stream of her own volition. No response. Five minutes later, he took matters into his own hands. He pulled the router's power cord, severing the streamer's internet connection.

Zoe's angered voice bellowed out not even a second later.

"What the shit?!"

Here we go, Oliver braced himself.

Zoe kicked open her door, storming into the living room. Her face scrunched up into a primal rage, and her chiptune BGM started playing when they locked eyes. It was a more aggressive mix than usual, like retro music sputtering out of a damaged speaker.

The music spiked when she saw him holding the power cord.

"Dude. Olive, are you fuckin' kidding me?!" She stomped toward him, all but shoving her bikini-clad body in his face. "I was RIGHT in the middle of a starting up a new speedrun!"

[Zoe has lost -15 Affection!]

Yikes, that hurt. Oliver knew she'd be pissed, but not minus fifteen pissed. Talk about a knee-jerk reaction.

It's fine, I'll get it back, he doubled down, refusing to let it get to him.

"Nice to see you, too, Zoe," Oliver bounced back. "Did you forget we planned this out ahead of time?"

"No, I know, I just... it was an important stream, Olive. Fuck. You should've texted me or-"

Oliver pulled out his phone and showed her he had.

Her angered expression eased somewhat, along with her theme song's intensity. She let out a frustrated sigh and then took her phone from her bra, unintentionally exposing a purple pasty. Oliver mostly ignored the view.

His phone buzzed a few seconds later.

-

Zoe: Sorry bro my bad lol........

-

Zoe scratched the back of her head as she looked away, blushing. Her flushed face was locked in an embarrassed scowl. Oliver tried not to laugh as a new notification popped up.

[Milestone Achieved! Texted Zoe +5 LP]

"It's cool," he said. "You'll presumably get over it, being a big girl and all."

"Bigger than you, short-stuff," Zoe fired back. "Whatever. I'm glad you showed up."

"Yeah. I could tell from how you rolled out the red carpets for me."

"What, I can't be pissed off and happy to see you?" She crossed her arms, now relaxed enough to sharply smirk.

[Zoe has gained +5 Affection!]

Regaining a chunk of what was lost helped Oliver cope as it reaffirmed her intentions. Regardless of her mood, Zoe still wanted him here. Still wanted his help. That was all he could ask of her, and it was enough justification for him to put his best foot forward.

Oliver smiled back.

"I'm happy to see you too,"

"Heh. More like you're happy to see my tits. Pro tip? You aren't so subtle when you stare, perv."

"Oh, shut up," he laughed. "I've got a pro tip for you, too. If you storm out of your room dressed like a dollar store hooker, there's a good chance you'll attract wandering eyes."

"Dollar store?! Too fuckin' far, Olive. Too. Fuckin'. Far."

"Hey, if the ninety-nine cent buy-one-get-one-free bikini fits..."

All pretenses went up in smoke as Zoe erupted into laughter, popping off so hard he earned back more points.

[Zoe has gained +1 Affection! +1 Smooth Talker]

"Fuck, that was a good burn, and I can't say I don't deserve it. Shit's downright trailer park trashy, but it gets eyeballs." Zoe said, shifting her top in a way that made her tits jiggle magnificently. Her eyes never left Oliver's while she did, teasing, "Take a pic. It'll last longer."

Oliver raised his phone and snapped a pic. There was no build up, no fanfare. He simply acted with total nonchalance.

It tripped Zoe up.

"Dude! What the fuck, Olive?" She took a step back, giving him a funny look as she blushed and briefly covered her chest with one arm.

"Oh, were you not being literal? Sorry. Might've spent a little too much time with Rebecca yesterday. I can delete it if you want."

"No, it's cool. Keep it. Fuckin' jack off to it for all I care, but like... warn a bitch next time, geez..."

Oliver felt his more dominant side cropping up again after pressing the gamer girl's buttons and playing with fire suddenly seemed a lot more appealing. He pointedly looked her up and down, commenting, "Huh. If I didn't know better, I'd almost think you were embarrassed."

"Yeah, right. I lost every ounce of shame in my body a few years back, and I haven't looked back since... embarrassed, pfft... fuck off with that noise."

She was only getting redder.

"Christ. You're blushing crazy hard right now."

"I- gah, are you fuckin' trying to annoy me, Olive? Because I thought you wanted to hang out or whatever the fuck, not take the piss out of me!"

"Pretty sure we've firmly established I want nothing to do with your piss by now, thanks. Again- not my thing." He teased, then gestured towards the bag of fast food. "Now would you maybe like to move on from this little topic and get some breakfast in you, or..."

"Fuck, dude. Thought you'd never ask." Zoe sank her ass into the couch and dug into the bag, sorting out its contents. He knew she ate a lot, so a lot, he brought. "I was trying to be polite and show some restraint, but my mouth's straight up watering from the fuckin' smell..."

She paused, looking at a wrapped-up breakfast sandwich and then at Oliver after he sat down with her. Her expression turned to a thoughtful frown.

"Something wrong?"

"Nah, I... well, kinda," Zoe pointed at the food. "You sure this is cool?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"I dunno... just feeling a little guilty for snapping at you after you got me all this, I guess?"

"Why do you think I even brought breakfast in the first place?"

"Because you've got a crush on your girlfriend's bad bitch of a BFF?"

"Because I knew you'd be pissed and wanted to soften the blow," Oliver laughed off the accusation.

"Eh. I still don't really get why you'd purposefully come here just to get bitched at, I- wait..." her eyes narrowed. "Is this some kinda kink thing?"

"No, dummy. It's a friend thing. I'm here because I promised I'd help you."

Zoe stared at him for a few seconds before unwrapping a sandwich and stuffing her face with it. "...Is that all there is to it?" She asked between bites. "You really don't have any ulterior motives?"

Zoe sounded curious rather than accusatory, which brought Julio's advice to mind. The part where he should play hard to get and beat around the bush.

Oliver acted accordingly.

"I wouldn't say none whatsoever," he smirked, playing it cool. "Not to drag you through the mud, but I could go without Mia and Rebecca worrying their heads off over you."

Zoe frowned, then devoured her current sandwich in a few small bites. She started on another one. It lasted her even less long. "I feel you there," she mumbled sadly. "You're a good dude, Olive. A real good one. Here's hoping I end up learning a thing or two from you."

As she finished her second sandwich, Oliver was drawn to the crumbs Zoe was getting all over her chest.

"I could start by teaching you how to wear a bib. You maybe wanna throw on a shirt or something before going to town?"

"Why?" Zoe grinned, making a big deal of brushing off her tits while licking her lips. "Can't tear your eyes away?"

Oliver swerved to avoid her trap, then tapped into his shamelessness to tease back, "From the ninety-five percent naked girl sitting to my left? Shockingly, no. She's a little distracting."

"Really? Why? It's not like you haven't already seen me like this."

"Being a titty streamer somehow hasn't taught you that we guys don't get tired of things we've seen before?"

"I mean, sure, but that's different. Most of my simps are fuckin' basement-dwelling losers who think I'll suddenly fall in love with if they keep sending me money."

"Was that not how it works?"

"Dunno yet," Zoe chuckled. "I'll let you know if one makes it that far."

Oliver smirked, then felt a random pang of introspection.

"Do you ever feel bad about the grift?" He asked. "Not that I'm judging what you do or anything, PG-13 sex work is still work, I'm just curious."

"Eh. From my perspective? Not much of a grift. All I really do is wear slutty clothes while gaming and occasionally jiggle my tits on camera. If horny internet losers wanna throw money at me for that, that's on them. Hell, I barely even encourage donations."

"You know what? Fair. Those kinds of people will just wind up spending money on some random internet hot chick. No good reason that it shouldn't be you."

"My thinking exactly, Olive," she grinned, satisfied. "Glad we've reached an agreement on the ethics of titty streaming."

"Same. Now how about we circle back to the part where you were so clearly fishing for a compliment?"

"...Huh?" Zoe blinked.

"You already know I find you totally hot," Oliver confessed. "Why play stupid and act like you don't understand why I'd be distracted unless you're deliberately trying to make me say it?"

Again, Zoe went quiet. She also went red this time. Then she laughed and turned her nose up at him. "Uh, yeah, nah. No fuckin' clue what the fuck you're going on about, perv. I think you're projecting."

"And I think you're desperate for compliments," Oliver smiled innocently.

Zoe opened her mouth to dispute the claim only to discover a lump formed in her throat, preventing any words from coming out. This only made her frustration boil over, her face even redder as she stood up and stomped toward her room.

[Zoe has lost -1 Affection!]

"Oh, fuck off! I'm not desperate for shit. That clear?"

Oliver just kept smirking. "Crystal."

"Rgh... just... gimme a sec and I'll throw something on, okay? You went and pissed me off, so now I'm revoking your privilege to ogle my ninety-five percent naked body while I'm eating breakfast." Zoe slammed her door on him before he could fire back with further teasing.

It was good that she did, as the madlad was on fire. He already had a zinger lined up about being unsure he could make it through the day without her the sight of crumb-covered titties.

This wasn't quite what Julio meant when he'd told Oliver not to be afraid of pissing Zoe off. He was more talking about making short-term sacrifices that she'd find endearing in retrospect, but stressing out over numbers and game mechanics prevented Oliver from seeing what was right in front of him; that Zoe was fucking adorable when she was pissed.

At least most of the time. She wasn't so cute when yelling at him for killing her stream, but when she got all huffy and took his minor teasing personally? Mn, that was the good stuff. It spoke to his darker side, making him want to mess with her more and more.

I get it now. I finally, finally get it! Oliver realized. No wonder all those red-pilled assholes went on and on about negging, I-

It took him a second to catch himself. If Oliver had an affection bar for how much he liked himself, this would've made it go down from about negative fifty to negative one hundred. He cradled his face in his palm, embarrassed and ashamed.

Teasing Zoe was fun, but far be it from him to let himself get drunk on being an asshole.

I'm better than that. I WILL be better than that. Oliver vowed, his determination to become the world's most ethical fuckboy deepening ever still.

Today was his big chance. There were some major strides in his relationship with Zoe coming up. Unlocking her first heart event seemed like a given, as did nabbing the 'hung out with' milestone. Neither was enough for him. He was ready to push for as much as he could get away with.

A couple of minutes passed, and Oliver started to worry she was messing around on her socials. Despite his concerns, he waited patiently. She deserved the benefit of the doubt, which he gave her for five minutes until knocking on her door

"Zoe? Are you good in there?"

Her sarcastic voice shot back a second later.

"Yep, doing a-okay, Dad. Geez. And you think I'm desperate? Get a load of you, Olive. Can't even go five fuckin' minutes without me!"

"Guilty as charged. That, and I thought I'd make sure you weren't screwing around on the net."

"I was, but all I did was type up an excuse for why my stream got cut off. I didn't want everyone worried I'd been banned again or some shit."

"Ah, yeah. That's fair. Take your time, then. Sorry."

"You're good. Thanks for checking, dude... and hey, just so you know? I mean it."

Oliver smiled out of pride, then went back to the couch to give Zoe some privacy. It was only another two minutes before she came out wearing the same shirt with her logo on it that Juan was repping last night and a pair of baggy, purple track pants. A fresh can of gulpies in her hand completed the look.

It was a casual, laid-back outfit. There was no real reason for Oliver to react strongly, but he was blushing all the same.

Zoe didn't get it.

"Uh. The fuck's with the creepy ass grin? I thought the point of throwing on some clothes to get you to stop gaping at me, but here you are, staring like I fuckin' walked out naked..."

"Your hair,"

"...Huh?"

"I've never seen you put it up before..."

"Oh. Right. I guess you haven't?" Zoe stood awkwardly at her door, reaching behind her head to mess with her hair tie. "I dunno. You obviously spent some time trying to doll yourself up for me this morning, so... fuck it. Thought I'd try something new."

"Really?" He asked, smiling even wider. "Wow. All that work, and just for me, huh?"

"Nothing's ever simple with you, is it? Rain or shine, you've always gotta clap back..."

"It's nice, Zoe. Really nice."

"Yeah? Okay. Cool... um... still not really sure what's up with your smile, though. Is this a big deal to you or something? Got a thing for ponytails?"

"Do I have to have a 'thing' for something to think it's cute?"

Zoe blushed back before finally giving in and smiling out of confused acceptance.

[Zoe has gained +1 Affection! +1 Smooth Talker]

"Guess not. I just assume the worst when it comes to you, Olive." She teased, throwing her body on the couch and hunching over the coffee table. "Now do me a favor and zip it. I promise we got all the time in the fuckin' world for cutesy back-and-forth shit, but for now, this bitch is hangry."

Oliver complied, and thus, the ravenous feast resumed.

Crumbs still got all over Zoe's hangry tits.

***

Stat Changes

Oliver Chase | Strength 9 | Style 5 | Spark 1 | Smarts 4
Cash: $826 | LP: 135

Zoe Myers | Status: Friend | 76/100 | ♡♡♡♡♡

Chapter Tomorrow Probably

I had a really good feeling day today. Very stable and calm. There’s only a sliver left to do in 85 so barring a mood swing I should have it up tomorrow after it’s edited.

Tessa Beach Pinup

Gift from Milly! We’re just gonna keep going with the beach ones until everyone has their own hehe. Very happy with how this one turned out. I have a complicated relationship with smoking in that I hate because my mom was a chain smoker who smoked a pack a day and bought smokes by the carton, but yes it’s also kinda hot when girls do it if you purposefully filter out the taste and smell…

Slight good news in that I did okay today and wrote a decent amount. Still taking it easy but 85 shouldn’t be far away provided this continues.

Art by https://www.reddit.com/u/Veronik_OwO/s/6awkD9lFku

Taking Another Break

Chapter 85 is 3k words in and the last week has been very up and down for me. I had two really good days back to back and then the last few I’ve barely been able to write more than a few words at a time. I’d like to think the fact that I’m actually starting to have good days again is a sign that things are starting to get better but right this second I’m just putting it out there that I’m going to relax again for a bit and try not to make things worse by stressing out about not accomplishing much currently. I’ll still try and do some work on 85 every day just to see if I’m able to get anything done but if it’s like today and I’m just not feeling it I’ll relax.

I feel like I’m at an important stage of my recovery because in the last week I’ve felt the antidepressant actually doing shit in my brain now and a bunch of things are starting to straighten out but the brain fog has yet to lift. I’m very optimistic about the next month because of this, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself.

Zoe Arcade Pinup

Gift from Milly! Veronika draws Zoe so fucking good, I swear. I really wanted this picture as soon as I saw a similar pic and it came out better than I imagined, very fitting for the upcoming Zoe date!

Have been in a bad mood the last few days and next chapter isn’t coming along well. Hopefully that changes. Mood has been so bleh I don’t even feel like arranging new art 90% of the time lately…

Art by https://www.reddit.com/u/Veronik_OwO/s/6awkD9lFku

Slightly Behind Schedule

I had a rough weekend, my adderall didn’t get filled in time so I spent Sunday and Monday zonked out without my meds and it was quite terrible lol. I’m getting back to it today and am doing good so far but yeah, was not happy about all that. Hope to be done with 85 within the next two days but we’ll see.

Also, you should’ve all gotten a notification about Apple changing their terms or whatever and if you subscribe to my Patreon via the iOS app, you NEED to cancel and resubscribe via desktop. The tl;dr is that they’ll charge you extra and pay me less if you don’t. Try not to blame Patreon too much for this one. They aren’t the best service but there’s really not much they can do against Apple.

Update

Just checking in, not much to say. Next chapter is still a few days out. Today was good but the last two I was feeling eh, so I’m only 1.5k words into 85. Felt like I was actually getting somewhere today though and I’m hoping it keeps up. We’ll see.