I just remembered that I buried Thea somewhere.
But where?
I'll sure I'll remember someday.
Or someone else, a kind soul, will help her out of her predicament.
Or maybe it was just all a dream.
Life isn't real enough these days, I feel.
Might be just a long dream.
Or a simulation.
Are you still reading this shit?
I don't even remember what this post is about.
Oh yeah.
Thea is lost.
Let's hope she in found.
FIN
You should all know this by now but this is a refresher.
Handlegirls have handles.
Pulvinus is a pillowgirl.
Stressgirls is a stressgirl. They good as for to relieve the stress.
No go, go and spread my words. Also share my Patreon at the same time. Why not.
Sebastien LOVES to hang out at our place. Not sure why. It's not like we go out of our ways to please him... Delphine and I just do what we do... Doesn't really matter if he's there or not.
I know he really, really loves when Ember takes off her mask and do that disgusting thing she does with her mouth.
It could also be the male-companionship he developed with Penguin. These two could drink cheap beer and talk about cars, sports team and of course, women. Although they use the word "Pussy", I prefer using the word women.
"What do you think of that new Dodge car!?"
"..."
"Right! And what about that sport team we both like!?"
"..."
"Exactly! Dude-bruh! We love the same things! And how is SHE doing, you know, with your dick!"
"..."
"Pewoquet's a dude... Oh... And what is a cloaca!?"
Sharing is caring.
Armless sharing is armless caring.
...
What?
Stressgirls are not the ideal, as for to kissing.
Kissing will get them very, very excited.
But mostly, you don't really have access to their mouth.
Stressgirls shouldn't for to have a mouth.
So you know... Get a Pulvinus instead. As for to kissing.
FIN
One of the many laws I enacted during my time in office is the PIPR law.
I cannot stand people leashing their dogs outside the bathroom.
I will take these dogs home.
In Fallu City, it is illegal for to do so.
Just bring the puppygirl in the bathroom.
You might even find a use for her.
The best thing about Handlegirls is the handles. That is what allows you to handle them. Because of the handles.
2023-12-12 02:16:15 +0000 UTC View Post
I love when Victoria is all ready for to be played with.
Although I love the preparation process.
So I don't really like it.
I'll make her pay for that.
Limbless Thea might not be good at handjobs but...
Everybody is... Has a use.
There is always one student that is the teacher's favorite.
I wonder how they choose.
For to me, it would be the student that brings me a Coca-Cola everyday.
The more the winter is. the more your very favorite heroine loves to fantasize about being buried in hot sand on a perfect beach.
You don't know, because you don't live in canada.
Other countries don't have snow and winter.
It's all about sun, playa-beaches, cocktails with fruits in it, dancing in the streets and la macarena.
Here, it's snow everywhere. Just snow. Snow is not sexy. I try to make it sexy, with peril-damsel-style bondage scenario in rising snow but even then I know you can just eat the fucking snow in front of your face so it's not really dangerous.
Hypothermia might be dangerous tho.
FIN
"Thank you for coming over Penguin, Stella and Bigail. I didn't want to watch L'Amour, La Romance Et La Séduction alone tonight."
"I wouldn't have come if you told me I would be on footrest duty again..."
"Again!? Are you saying that you were on footrest duty last time!?"
"YES! I thought I would be on cuddle-straitdress duty this time..."
"That is a shame... We'll have to make sure this conundrum is fixed by the next time you come here."
"Why can't we fix it now!? It's not too late t-"
"OH OH! It's muzzle time!"
Said MrArgent, looking at his watch. He then placed a muzzle and a blindfold on our very favorite heroine. He also activated her noise-canceling headphones.
"Finally... Bigail's voice is like... Too much... Sometimes... Right!?..."
Stella couldn't talk but she certainly agreed with her eyes.
"I want to show you something..."
FIN
Thea entered the kitchen. At the table, a cute penguinboy and a cute sheepgirl were sitting down at the table. In front of empty plates, they were holding their forks. Thea asked, bitchly:
"The fuck are you doing!?"
"Waiting for lunch... Delphine is working so... We're kinda waiting for you to get started... We would love either cow burgers, or a fondue."
"Are you insane!? I'm not going to cook for you, you little brat! Now leave me alone!"
"You gonna let us die of starvation!? THAT'S ANIMAL CRUELTY, BLUBBERBAGS!!!"
"FUCK YOU, ABIGAIL!"
"... Oh... Well... You know what!?... FORK YOU, THEA!"
Thea laughed, thinking Behgail fucked up saying fork. She didn't. She really meant it. Twas time to fork the shit out of Thea. And she did. Because she is a heroine.
FIN
Pillowgirls have the right to relax at the public bathhouse too. Actually I don't know.
2023-12-10 02:06:29 +0000 UTC View Post
*Stressful Breaking News Music*
"Good evening, people at home. This is an emergency broadcast of some breaking news. The breaking news is... Nature: Documented, everyone's very favorite TV show about the documentation of nature, is starting...
NOW!!!"
*Epic Opening Music With African Bongos And Shit Like Animal Sounds*
"Bonjour back. My host name is, of, Behgail LaPetitemouton. And welcome back to... Our show. My show. Tonight, we talk about a very popular animalgirl... Ladies and gentlemen...
The Catgirl."
The audience went crazy.
"Also known as the Kittygirls and the Nekogirls, Catgirls are very different from the other animalgirls.
While the sheep have evolved to help humans with their sacred wool, the pig have evolved to help humans with their delicious meat and the dog have evolved to help humans in thousands of different ways, the cat doesn't really give a shit. Usefulness and charm are great as for to win the hearts of humans, but cats have a different method.
Parasites.
Toxoplasmosis, also known as "Crazy Cat Lady Syndrome", is the only reason they are still there. People who loves cat are just being hypnotized by cat shit parasites.
I was never exposed to cat shit so I don't really care about them. Some of them are cool. Every dog I ever met charmed the fuck out of me. 99.9% of the cats I met just hated me on sight. They know. They know they can't catshitpnotize ME! Sheepgirls are immune to everything but tinnitus, everyone knows that.
Look at this little fuck.
Catgirls won't bathe. Catgirls won't even approach water. They lick themselves clean. Let me repeat that. They LICK themselves clean. Isn't that just... What the fuck...
Look at her. She's literally licking her genitals... That's just... No... Why do... Should we... What... Wait a minute... How does she do that... I mean... Mmmmh... Maybe... Cut?"
*Technical Difficulties*
"Hello back. The host is me. Again. Behgail LaPetitemouton. Is my name. Welcome. And tonight. We talk about.
The bunnygirl."
*Opening Song, Which Is Really Good*
"Welcome back. Tonight, on Nature: Documentation, we talk about the mighty forest animal known such as the bunnygirl.
Also known as the rabbitgirl, the bunnygirl doesn't really have any use for the humans. We don't really eat them, because ewww. We don't really make clothes out of their furs because we need to kill like 18 000 of them to make a coat. And they are super cute. The bunny-clothes people became really depressed. They would look outside their windows, at the sheep-clothes people, making a shitload of wool clothes without having to hurt the animals and they just gave up. I think bunnies have literally no uses. I would Google it but I don't want Google to think I found a random rabbit and I am searching uses for it now.
But you now what they are good at?
Breeding.
And fucking.
And making the babies.
So they just make a whole lot more of a useless animal.
And that is why we try to restrain them, like so.
Look at this little fuck right here."
Next to our very favorite host was a very cute bunnygirl, strictly hogtied by some sturdy Cuffigails.
"We were able to catch her and secure her before she gotten herself the pregnant. These little fucks can have up to 8 little babies per months!!! So it is really important as for to restrain them in this position until you can fit the mandatory chastity belt on her. In this position, the bunnymen will have difficulty to reach his goal.
This little fuck is lucky because I will bring her home and make her my pet. Most little fucks like her have a very short life in the forest. Too many predators. And they are very weak."
"Mmmppphhggrrrr..."
"And very dumb. Very, very dumb."
"GRRRRrrr..."
"Oof! We have a rebelious one over here! Do not worry, people at home. I know how to domesticate the most dangerous of animals, the bunny included.
Join us next time, on...
NATURE: DOCUMENTED!!!"
*Closing Music, Which Is Even Better Than The Opening Music*
Although our very favorite host, Behgail LaPetitemouton, wasn't fired this time, she did die that night. She was brutally mauled by her pet bunny. Please, keep your pet bunnygirls in cages.
In honor of Behgail LaPetitemouton - 1998 - 2023. Or whatever gives me 25 years old.
Everybody needs for to Christmas-shop. Even MrArgent.
Because of his smart, like me, he does it in one go.
It's very harder, because you have so much to carry.
Fortunately, MrArgent is a man in the prime of his life and has many muscles. Carrying stuffs is something he can do easily. I once saw him carry 2 knocked-out women at the same time, one on each shoulder. He is super strong.
"Can we... Drop these... At the car... Please... MrArgent...???"
"Do you think Santa Claus goes back to the North Pole during his Christmas rush!? NO! Santa brings ALL the gifts on his sled. THINK, Silver... THINK. Try to ask yourself: What Would Santa Do!?"
"I... Just... Well..."
"Just be careful. Don't drop Minisilverigail."
FIN
"Hi. And welcome back. To your very favorite TV show about documenting nature: Nature: Documented. My name is your host and tonight, I mean, It is I, your very favorite TV show host, Behgail LaPetitemouton. And tonight, we will get learnt about another animalgirl.
Ladies and gentlemen... The piggygirl!!!
Look at this little fuck!!!
They're cute but they are so dirty... Yuck... They play in mud all day and they stink...
Look at her.
She's completely clueless that her only purpose in life, is as for to be eaten... Such a dumb, dumb animalgirl.
Unlike sheep, who are not for to be eaten under any condition, because they provide precious and useful wool, for free basically, pigs do not provide anything. They are a very selfish animal, only thinking about feeding themselves.
But jokes on them.
The more they eat and do nothing, the more bacon they make. That's right people, bacon is coming from THAT!"
The entire audience went like "What!?" except one woman who said "Ewww".
"I'm not kidding! Piggygirls are MADE FOR TO BE EATEN. It is literally their entire purpose in life.
Take this little fuck for example.
Look into her eyes and you will see nothing. There is no emotions in there. No soul. Actually, this one is very expressive... She's looking at me like "HELP! I'M TRAPPED IN A PIGSUIT! PLEASE FREE ME FROM THIS PET-SLAVERY!!!"... Of course these are just the non-sensical thoughts of a pig but... I don't know... I almost feel like I know her... Maybe we were BFFs in another life... Like Victoria and I were in THIS life until she disappeared last month... I miss her so much..."
Probably touched by the story, the little piggygirl started squealing loudly.
"Even her squeals sounds like Victoria trying to yell my name through a muzzle..."
The squealing only got worse.
"Well... I guess this little piggygirl needs for to meet her faith... For to be eaten."
Again, fearless and brave and courageous, our very favorite nature documentation TV show host did what she had to do to show the people at home how to eat a piggygirl.
She wasn't supposed to do that. We fired her again. She's also being sued.
We are still searching for Victoria.
Penguin is still missing/wandering around, thinking about the mountains.
Behgail was seen selling her body on the corner of Redlight Street and Prostitute Avenue. She sold one arm so far.
FIN
But for to be continued next time, on NATURE: DOCUMENTED
Ending music, very epic but still very nature and like maybe a little safari-like.
Because the relation between Christian and Phoebe/Jojo was going a bit too goodly, Thea has gotten herself very jelly, as they say.
She now makes sure they are separated at all time. The only person they should be allowed to touch is Thea anyway... Right?
"I'm sorry, Thea? Could Jojo and I have just one night tog-"
"Shut up, Chris! I'm watching my very favorite nature documentation TV show on my cellular telephone!"
Alexandra loves to go to the beach, as for to relax. Because of her Brazilian blood.
2023-12-09 03:59:29 +0000 UTC View Post
"Hi. I am your host, Behgail LaPetitemouton. Tonight, on Nature: Documented, we will learn everything about a very important animalgirl: The Border Collie Puppygirl.
As a Sheepgirl, I believe these Puppygirls are for to be the very best thing that can happen to us. They keep us in line. And safe. They are very, very smart. Right, Delphine!?"
"Grrrrr..."
"Well... This one might need a bit more for to be trained but do not worry, most of them are kind and lovely. She's a malcontent ever since the muzzle."
"Grrrrrrrr..."
"Mmmh... I might need to "Show Her Who's The Boss", if you know what I mean. By the way don't miss my new TV show: "Show Her Who's The Boss", a TV show that is all about empowering women... Well... Half the women... The other half is gonna get it..."
"GRRRRrrrr..."
"Come here, you little fuck!"
Behgail LaPetitemouton, as the always great, fearless and curious host of the best nature documentation TV show in history, grabbed the little fuck by her tail and placed her into the submission position. What she did next shouldn't have made it on TV. We are truly sorry about that. Nature: Documented has officially been canceled and Behgail was fired without benefits.
FIN
Join us next time, on Nature: Documented Ep.2
"Delphine... Why can't I come in the kitchen... What are you hiding from me... Are you cheating on me??? What's going on in there..."
"It's a secret, Bigail! Stop trying to open the door! Just go smoke or something..."
"I DON'T WANNA SMOKE, DELPHINE! I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN THERE... So... I'm gonna go smoke right now... But when I come back, you need to tell me the secret."
"You CANNOT keep a secret, Bigail! If I tell you, I'm going to have to lock your lips!"
"THEN LOCK MY LIPS!!! PLEASE TELL ME!!! I'M BEGGING YOU!!!"
"...Alright Bigail... I will tell you the secret..."
"Hehehehe..."
"But, I will have to lock your lips right after..."
"Tsss... Sure... Tell me... Tell me now... Please..."
"Ok... I'm preparing us a surprise picnic!!! All your favorite food!!! I have a COOLER full of ice and Coca-Cola cans and I bought you a cartoon of your favorite cigarettes AND 7 grams of your favorite hash!!! SURPRISE!!!"
"THAT'S AWESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEE!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!"
"Come here! Time to lock those lips!"
"... I thought that was like... A figure of speak... Like... A... Allogory... Mataphor... A thing that is not..."
And that is how Delphine got the relaxing, quiet picnic of her dream.
FIN
"I am so booooooooooooooooored..."
"I am so much more bored than you... For to be like... 6 times more... Bored... Than you..."
"I wish we could find SOMETHING to DO! Ever since my Xbox broke, my life has been such a torture..."
"Well... Maybe if we continue walking down this path, we'll eventually find something to distract us from the reality of the reality."
"I wasn't listening to you, because I rarely do, but let's just hope that around this corner, something will distract us from the constant pain that is being alive."
"I wish I was a birb... I could wash my wings in the river and-"
"Is that Jasmine!? What the fuck happened to her!?"
"Oh... Yeah... It must be some remnants from my time in office..."
"I can't believe you were mayoress for a few months... You really fucked things up..."
"Yeah... This must be the Jasmine Law. "It is totally legal, as for to, restrain and gag Jasmine, for the fun of it." It is the second law I enacted, after the Thea Law."
"Well it is a good law..."
"I know right!?"
"You really hate her eh?"
"I don't HATE Jasmine... I love that I hate her or... I hate that I love her... But... I don't HATE her..."
"So you hate that you love her..."
"..."
"She is super cute... Those eyes..."
"Her little curled-up nose..."
"Her perfect tits..."
"Her beautiful feet..."
"And that pussy..."
"So... What do we do now!?"
"Well... If I understand you well, my beautiful mayoress..."
Abigail took a bow. Sebastien continued:
"It is our duty, as citizens of Fallu City, "AS FOR TO" take her home, restrain her, and, "AS FOR TO", gag her."
"Oh my God... A loophole... We can just restrain her and gag her again and again, forever..."
Suddenly, Sebastien and our very favorite heroine had something to distract them from the "Reality of the reality".
FIN
You are what you eat.
Ever heard that shit?
I think it's not accurate.
Otherwise, I would either be a can of Coke or a stack of pancakes.
With like... A chicken sandwich arm... And some chocolate cookie legs...
So thereforthen, not accurate. At all.
Case closed.
Join us next week for another episode of your favorite show, Nature: Documented.
TOLD YOU. You NEVER KNOW. When. You are inside of. An episode. Of Nature: Documented.
I still love you tho. Thank you for your support by the way. It is immensely appreciated.
Bigail, your very favorite heroine of all time, savior of the Internet, Princess in charge of the executive at FallusDesign International, also the proud creator of the FallusDesign brand and the Fallustore.com, your very favorite interactive website-app-store where you can buy sex-plushies, bondage stuffs, normal plushies, bdsm stuffs, plushies, and all my creations and inventions but for to be honest the Fallustore is not opened yet so don't bother clicking the link but with time, maybe I'll get the money for to launch it for the real. I guess I'll also need the help of a... Carpenter? for to build all those devices. I feel like carpenters only works with wood tho. All my machines are made of Gold, silver and steel. I guess I need a blacksmith or something like that. A metallician.
Let me know if you are a metallician, we could work together maybe.
Bigail, your very favorite heroine of the forever. -xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx-
I just think it's a great name as for to an great invention that can be pleasurable for women AND men.
I invent the best stuffs.
"Silver! Come on out!"
"Finally... This cage is NOT made for humans..."
"In these dark financial times, with the recessions and the Obamas and the taxes... You are lucky you get a cage at all!"
"How can I be lucky to be in a cage!? This makes no sense!"
"Hmmm... You know what, you are right. Life outside the cage is awesome. Speaking of life outside the cage, it's Sexy Shovel Duty Time!"
"Sexy shovel...??? Shovel what?"
"Snow, of course."
"It's winter already!?"
"You have been in that cage for a long time, pumpkin. Now get dressed!"
"What is that!? A bikini!?"
"Yes but don't worry, it's a Christmas-themed bikini. It will keep you warm. And don't forget your hat!"
MrArgent nonchalantly placed the santa's hat on Silver stupid head. He then opened the door and pushed her outside. He followed her, as for to explain her duty.
"Just shovel from here... To... You know..."
"THE STREET!?"
"Good girl."
"IT'S LIKE SEVEN MILE!"
"The longer the private road to your mansion, the more powerful a man you are. And it's exactly 6.9 miles, by the way."
"I can't do it... I'm already freezing..."
"Let me give you a hand..."
"Abigail... What is so important that you needed me to come to your place!?"
"I wanted to show you something!"
"Show me what!?"
"Do you remember how we met!?"
"Uhhh... Oh RIGHT! You caught my ex-boyfriend cheating on me and he was dressing up like a girl... This was all SO WEIRD that I just deleted these memories. I never even seen him again and the only reason I don't call the cops on you is because I have NO PROOF. I'm sure you had something to do with this and that is why I never trusted you."
"EXACTLY! Your boyfriend was a crazy stalker-sissy and I totally helped you get free from him."
"... Your brain is fucked up. What do you wanted to show me!?"
"Well... Your ex... TA-DAH!"
Bigail took Sissyboy out of a big black bag and placed him on a table, as for to show Phoebe the result.
"Oh... My... God..."
"Do you like his new look!? He's a sissy-pulvinus!! No more stalking for him... You know... Because of the... No leg... Thingy..."
"I need to go..."
"I love reuniting people. Comon, Sissyboy! Time to get you back to the fuck-booth."
FIN
Although the nails are fake, the tickling is very real.
Very. Real.
