"Could we play something else? Everytime I play "Bondage" with you, you tie me up way too tight and you don't seem to care if-"
"Oh... We're not playing "Bondage"... So... Whatever you said is invalid."
"Uh... What are we playing then!?"
"I'm going to write words on your soles, using this black marker. You need to guess what word it is."
"WHAT!? I CAN'T DO THAT!!! IT'S GOING TO TICKLE SO BAD!!!"
"Don't worry, you get chances. If you don't guess the word on the first try, I will write it again and again and again, giving you multiple tries. If you can't guess it after 10 times, we'll switch to another word."
"Why do you have a brush!?"
"Well... For to clean your feet between each words..."
"Oh my God... I should have peed first..."
"... Should I lay some kind of plastic tarp under you!? I have very little respect for woman with tiny bladders who cannot hold their wee when tickled..."
"Wow! I still can't believe you got us tickets for the "Salon Of De La Slavegirl", the biggest bdsm convention in America! You are the greatest, MrArgent!"
"Well... Actually... YOU were supposed to get them AND you invited me but this morning you called me saying you lost your wallet and forgot your password to the thing so then I bought the tickets last minute at ten times the price. You told me you would pay me back..."
"And I totally will! Thank you again!"
"You said: "Buy them now, no matter the price, I will pay you back! I will also drive us to the place and pay for the gas, the parking and everything!"."
"Yeah... I still cannot believe that my car wouldn't start this morning... And that I lost my wallet again... Thank you for paying for the subway!"
"We're only taking the subway because you promised me you had a subway card."
"Yeah... I still cannot believe I lost that too..."
"But... At least you got Bigail and Delphine to go out with us to this convention... I still cannot believe they agreed to that..."
"Yeah... But like I said, they only agreed to come to show off Bigail's reverse straitdress design, that is why it is very important that you do not free them. They want to stay restrained and sensory-deprived for the entire convention to... You know... Show that... It works... Or... Whatever..."
"It is a weird request coming from them but... I will honor their demands."
"Bigail is a weird woman."
"I have seen her eat chicken nuggets... She dips them in the cold sauce first, then dips them in the hot gravy right after... I mean..."
It feels so good for to be part of a team, like a sport team. It's great as for to your social and other human-on-human interactions stuffs.
I know that feeling now because I am part of Victoria's cheerleading squad.
Well not really but yes also.
I can't be a cheerleader, per se, because of my bad health, weak body, horrible cardio, negative mindset, poor communication skills, inexistant will to do things, inferior coordination and my addiction to mutiny and rebellion when part of a group. Victoria also explained to me that when I'm in a group of girls, I get too "Excited" and everything turns to being sexual or being violent. Mostly violent, for to be honest.
Well, for to be even more honest, Victoria didn't banned me from the team... I just can't deal with their "No Smoking" rule.
But don't worry my friend, because I got in anyway. Victoria named me "Main Sock Smeller", which mean I take care of the captain's feet. I take off her boots and then smell her slightly sweaty socks for a very long time. After that very long time, I take them off, as for to smell her bare feet, for a very long time.
It is a very prestigious job and I'm very proud for to be a part of the team.
They say that being an astronaut is the most difficult job in the world.
Well... Have you ever tried being an astronaut... LIMBLESS!?
Limbless astronauts are truly the heroes of our time.
But you know what... In these times of political correctness... Guess what...
Women limbless astronauts... THAT's the true heroines of our time.
Well... I guess black women limbless astronauts are even better... And... Relunctantingly... I kinda agree...
"Cashmere... You are amazing... You just saved our spaceship from crashing into the international space station, preventing over 11 deaths and priceless amount of stuffs. All that, with a tiny screwdriver in your mouth. You are the best."
"NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU DIDN'T OPEN YOUR CONTRABAND BAG FULL OF COCA-COLA CANS! ONE OF THEM SMASHED INTO THE MAIN PILOT SCREEN! YOU ARE A FUCKIN IDIOT, BIGAIL!"
Screamed Victoria, clearly jealous of Cashmere's beauty, intelligence and savoir-faire.
Racism in 2023? NOT IN MY SPACESHIP!!!
Victoria was punished accordingly that night by Captain Bigail.
As for to let you congratulate me on my accomplishments and being able as for to not only survive, but thrive, thru my unfair DeviantArt ban, although I did lose half my patrons. lol.
But to not as for to worry, my friend, I am not called "Everyone's Very Favorite Heroine" for no reason. I earn that title. By repeting it a lot. But mostly, because I never give up.
Thank you
Bigail -xxx-
Wait a minute I'm not finish. I didn't even said what I was suppose to. I'm so high.
As for to let you congratulate me, I will let you tie me up and kiss my feet 1000 times.
Lucky!
Just make sure as for to only kiss them, do not tickle-torture me please. Also, please don't gag and blindfold me. Thank you.
"Hi. Welcome to Nature: Documented. I am your hostess, Abigail LaParcimonie, and thank you for joining us tonight on the number one channel: Channel One.
Tonight, we will talk about the Sheepgirl again. Most specifically, the diet of the Sheepgirl.
They eat feet.
That's about it.
They can't really eat it because they got bad teeth but they'll just keep chewing, biting and sucking on them until they are stopped somehow.
They drink Coca-Cola.
That's about it.
They do consume herbs, like normal sheep, but they don't eat it. They consume the herbs otherwisely.
Thank you and stay tuned for the next show: Who Wants To Be A Billionaire? Topless Edition!
It was I, Abigail La Pouterelle, your very favorite hostess, and I say to you, "Au Revoir"
"These floors are nasty, Jasmine... You better lick with enthusiasm..."
"But you are just going to walk out in ten minutes anyway..."
"Yes. And I'll make sure you lick them clean after too. As for to you, Ember, good job. You are a good girl. I like you. Thank you for your services, my favorite slave!"
Ember giggled, holding a good size blunt and a fresh, ice-cold, Coca-Cola can.
"I love school... HeehehehahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*Choke* *Cough* *Choke* *Dry Heave* *Cough* *Choke* *Cough* *Probably Dying* *Choke* *Spit* *Cough* Hehehehe..."
When he got learnt of the fact that Megagirls actually do really does do exist, he didn't do what most men would. Like Sebastien, most men would completely give up on Minigirls, but not MrArgent.
What he did was legendary: He embraced both. The tiny and the titanic. The mini and the mega. The small and the... Super large...
He fusioned the shit.
He decided as for to get one Megagirl.
And while he was at the sizegirl store, he got himself a brand new Minigail too.
Inside one of the many public bathhouses of Fallu City, 4:20 PM:
"MrArgent!"
"Sebastian!"
"Oh... Uh... I think you mean "Sebastien"... My name is SebastiEn..."
"So how are you, Sebastian!?"
"Great! I see you are still all about Minigirls..."
"Of course! Minigirls are the best, especially Minigails!"
"Minigails ARE truly awesome... I cannot argue with that..."
"They really are. You need to know how to handle them but once you do, you cannot live without them. I cannot leave the house without a few Minigails in my pocket."
"Wow!"
"What about you!? Where are your Minigirls!?"
"Oh... Nonononono... No no... No... I don't like Minigirls anymore. I'm all about Megagirls now!"
"Megagirls!? But... But..."
"In fact, I came here with my new girlfriend! Here she is! Megalexandra!"
"If Megagirls are real... Then... Then... The prophecy..."
"Seriously, MrArgent!? You didn't know about Megagirls!?"
"I need to go... Comon, Minigails!"
MrArgent shoved his 3 portable Minigails inside his hat before leaving via the open roof with his jetpack.
Due to the economy, our very favorite heroine, Bigail LaPauvreté, has gotten herself to be a homeless!!!
Her and Penguin lives in the streets now.
Such a sad story.
Luckily for them, they know a homeless woman. Known by everyone as "Puddles", Bigail and her friends weirdly know her by another fake name: Silver.
Silver is very, very old. But her body is still very young (About 20 years old) due to some Yuminati-level occult black magic techno ritual. We know she was in Vietnam, in Korea and even in Germany. Not during the wars but she's been there at some point. She's at least 69 years old.
So Silver, AKA Puddles, has a lot of knowledge. Street knowledge. She's street smart.
"The best shit is always at the very bottom!"
"That's true. When I don't finish something, I always throw it really hard on the side of the garbage can, as for to it go to the bottom. I also try to cover it as much as possible so that Delphine doesn't see I threw away good food."
"You're the worst. But you're right. The bottom is awesome. Except for the juices. The garbage juices also get to the bottom."
"How do you call this again!?"
"Dumpster diving. Just hold my legs!"
"Dumpster diving... The english language is such a perfect..."
"Yeah and that means that ANYTHING we found in garbage, we can legally eat!"
"Anything we found in a garbage can, I can eat!?"
"Of course!"
"Hehehehe..."
"Wait... Bigail...??? What are you doing!?"
"Dumpster diving."
So Bigail did what was legal for her for to do: Eat something she found in the garbage.
FIN
Actually it's not the FIN because I need to explain what happens next:
Somebody was coming over, so Bigail panicked, shoved Silver in the trash can and placed the cover on it, locking it in place. She then ran away with Penguin.
"It's too complicated as for to be explained but basically, it's Jesus."
"That doesn't mean anything to me."
"God is like this mysterious, all-powerful entity that created us. I haven't read the book but they say he created humans in his image."
"You are talking about us. The Vaginian Empire created humans. Using half our genes and half the genes of monkeys. Why do you think we look so much alike!? Except you don't have beautiful pointy ears and green skin. You have round ears, like monkeys. Humans are just slaves, created by us, as for to collect the sacred wool from the true leaders of this planet, the sheep. Where do you think all the wool goes!? Nobody wears wool anymore. We transfer all the wool to our mother planet, Vaginius."
"Oh... So... You are God!?"
"Exactly."
"I feel the need to worship you."
"Start with the armpits."
"You are sweaty! Is that space sweat or sacred sweat?"
I get that she is missing a leg but does she really need a table AND Sebastien for to help her? She is such a lazy bitch. She does have great breasts. Almost make you think they are not real. I'm not jealous you fuck. Just observing. And commenting. With a little bit of analyzing. My brain is very smart so you might not understand on my level.
I'm sowwy I love you. I don't want think to be weird between us. You were right, whatever we was arguing about.
They say that Marie, mom of Jésus, has gotten the pregnancy without the spermatozoids.
I guess that is what happened there because Sister Bigail, who became a nun after her miraculous recovery from her quadruple amputation, has gotten herself the pregancy; yet I'm pretty sure Brother Sebastien camed on her belly.
I guess Sister Bigail is the new princess of the Catholicism.
