today is the latter
Some days I’m mad at you
Other days I’m sad for you
Most days I’m just glad that you
Even found me at all
2024-03-22 05:18:51 +0000 UTC View Post
sonderlust posts
7-Eleven
I have this tiny beanie baby
And no one knows what it means but me
And you
And maybe the guy at 7-Eleven
It sits on my vanity and reminds me
That choices have consequences
It’s birthday is one day before yours
And I think about what life was like
Before I met you
Before things were this convoluted
Before things were this clear
I said I didn’t want it
That you didn’t need to
That we could just get the waters
But ...
puzzle piece
Does everyone want to die sometimes
Or is my brain just broken
Is feeling like you don’t fit anywhere
Just part of being here
Or am I so oddly shaped
That the puzzle can’t find a place for me
Do you think god likes to play sick jokes
And put you places you’re not supposed to be
Or am I just too close still
To see the beautiful picture being created
Piece by piece
Do you think there’s more than one place
Each of us can fit with ease
O...
I just do
I used to ask you, “Why do you love me?” and get my feelings hurt when you would say, “I just do.”
I wanted you to list all of the specific reasons why, out of all of the endless options, I am the one you love - to be validated in how uniquely special and right for you I am.
When I would press you, your answers would feel one dimensional, pedestrian: “You’re smart, you’re beautiful, you’re funny…”
You would struggle to come up with descriptive enough answ...
2024-03-17 01:15:40 +0000 UTC View Post
my body
my body
has seen more than a body should
it has seen violence
it has seen ecstasy
it has seen everything in between
it has seen things
it’s too scared to remember
my body
has seen pain
it has convulsed and shaken
trying to find somewhere to put it
trying to bear a level of agony
that was just too heavy
to hold still
my body
has seen betrayal
by someone who was supposed to love me
who waited
until it was ...
samples
the below posts are a few examples of what you might find in the paid memberships <3
2024-03-16 20:46:41 +0000 UTC View Post
I loved someone who died
I loved someone who died and he had the same name as you. There’s no real reason I should still think about him or still miss him but I do. I loved him more than I should have considering we were never anything real, but scenes from the night we met still flash in my mind from time to time. It was a random night at a random house with a random group of boys my girlfriends and I had mostly never met — a typical older teenage basement hangout while so and so’s parents were out of town. I ...
2024-03-16 20:27:34 +0000 UTC View Post
the adults table
“I like to beg,” I tell him
And I mean it
But what I don’t say
Is that I’ve spent my life begging
For the truth
For trust in my capacity
For honesty when it’s hard
And that I don’t like to beg that way
“I’m a big girl,
I can handle it”
I say it over and over
As if I am 7 years old again
Begging to sit at the adults table
And I am the first to admit
I wasn’t always deserving of the ugly truth
A beautiful lie was al...