The Snark Tank / Extra Ammo: Advice Column!

What’s good snark gang, I’m almost done building my first pc and wanted your suggestion on what games I should buy from steam.

Resident 4 RFK

2024-12-01 02:18:30 +0000 UTC

Hey snarks. I’ve got a bit of a heavier and longer one for you (ha). I have a friend that I care about a lot and he has an ex boyfriend (yes, he’s gay) that was really abusive towards him to the point to where they had a really messy breakup a few years ago. Recently, they’ve been hanging out again and the ex doesn’t seem to have changed at all. He’s the same alcoholic, drug addicted, abusive asshole and he regularly makes my boy hurt in ways I’ve never seen before. I really want to respect my friend’s autonomy, but I’m really at a loss on what to do because I’m kind of scared of it escalating into physical violence. Do you have any thoughts? Sorry about the depressing topic

Majin George Costanza

2024-11-18 06:16:15 +0000 UTC

Hey voices in my head! I wrote in saying you should do an advice column a few days ago. Crazy coincidence huh? I’m trans and retarded so I’ve been struggling with trying to become a girl and biomedical engineer all at once. Coming off the trump victory, realistically how much does America hate me? Am I being unrealistic abt how fucked over I feel?

Sween’s crispr baby being born in malevolent shrin

2024-11-15 12:26:22 +0000 UTC

Hey fellas. Recently lost all faith in God and discovered I'm a blazing queer. Currently going undercover in the oil field until I have enough cash to escape to a liberal stronghold in the US to pursue my gay ass femboy dreams. Any advice for getting started in a big city like LA or Seattle?

Bent Shapeeno

2024-11-15 03:31:29 +0000 UTC

Hey Guys, trying to keep anonymous Call me Anyholeisagoal haha Anyway. I've been in an 8 year relationship with a woman and have kinda realized that with good points and faults I don't think this woman was the one for me. There's some things I can't overlook. Nothing awful or bad just I don't feel goal aligned. So I broke up with her. There's another woman I've known for the same amount of time who I've always been cool with and I've kinda learned that I may have been attracted to her the whole time. Other girl even said what took you so long. They're both mad at me for seperate valid reasons. Am I making s big mistake leaving my ex if there's nothing wrong? The things that I don't like could be overlooked by most. I didn't leave her with the main reason to pursue the other, I made sure and worked through making the other reasons being the more valid ones. Just to let you know I haven't regretted it yet. Even if you think I answered it myself, can't imagine how some people have choice/relationship paralysis like this. Thought it might be good to hear for a lot.

Demangelic

2024-11-15 03:06:36 +0000 UTC

20 year old I want to drop out of college but don’t know what to do rn I go to a community college in upstate by studying engineering and it sucks . I also work full time to avoid student loans. I have no social life and spend all my time working and doing math

Dildo the ducky

2024-11-14 00:34:59 +0000 UTC

Hey boys, It’s me again. In the last episode you spoke about feeling bad for the people who didn’t vote for trump who are going to be affected. What’s your advice to left leaning people like myself who feel kind of trapped in a red state because of family and work and things like that?

GreyGhost still wants Superman to have a gun

2024-11-11 18:47:10 +0000 UTC

I have two in mind. You can choose whichever. Is growing up essentially losing interest in the things you used to live and accepting it? How do you quell perfectionism in making art? I want to get back into art, but I struggle with getting past this barrier.

Here's a good question by

2024-11-11 11:48:16 +0000 UTC

Question for Derek and possibly Chris. What's the best way to write drum parts for a song if you're only a guitarist? Do I find a drummer or is it feasible to learn to program drums?

Using CGI black actors instead of blackface actors

2024-11-11 06:18:52 +0000 UTC

Hey you 2 good boys and the dark one, my family is full on insane trump cult conservative plus any conspiracy theory you can name they believe, any advice on trying to get along with them or should I just cut them off ?

Transfem with trash taste

2024-11-10 00:35:21 +0000 UTC

Aaaaaahgggghhhh!!

Special Needs Cannon

2024-11-09 22:15:49 +0000 UTC

I got taught in school that if you smoked one weed, you'd become retarded and die of AIDS. It's amazing you're still alive.

The Big Red Dub

2024-11-09 22:11:37 +0000 UTC

I recomend getting all your nourishment from having someone you're close to vomit down your throat, baby bird style. After a couple of months you'll stop thinking of vomit as something to be afraid of and start thinking of it as more of a tepid soup.

The Big Red Dub

2024-11-09 22:06:41 +0000 UTC

Better yet, buy a jar of pickled onions, plop your severed testees in the jar and return it to the store the net day.

The Big Red Dub

2024-11-09 21:55:44 +0000 UTC

I was going through high school when covid started and although life changing things happened afterwards it mostly feels like a blur up until now. On my third semester of college now and it feels like only now am I realizing all of this. I’m just glad I hit this realization before I turned 20 honestly

ReviewsSlavesUSA

2024-11-09 21:16:19 +0000 UTC

I gotta problem with buying WHORES, how can you stop me from buying WHORES?

Yoshi's Egg Smell

2024-11-09 18:22:33 +0000 UTC

Hey boyos, I have a couple that I'm friends with; let's call them M and F. I met M a few years ago, and while I'm not sure I'd call him one of my best friends, he's still been a good friend to me for years. Later on I ended up meeting his gf F, and to put it bluntly, I get along with her a lot better; she's a lot more fun to hang out with, and our senses of humor match up really well. On top of that, she's kind of hot, and we seem to have a lot of chemistry. Now, I'm not an idiot, so I have no plans to make a move on her while they're together, plus I genuinely enjoy her company, so I'm totally okay with just being friends with her. But now I'm at a situation where, at best, I like an old friend's gf better than him; and at worst, I kind of want to hook up with her. They're still both cool people I want to keep in my life, so I just wanted to ask how you'd handle getting along with the partner of a friend better than the original friend, and if it would be reprehensible to make a move if they ever broke up. Hope yall are having a great day

Papa_Gzeus

2024-11-09 18:12:02 +0000 UTC

Hey yall. What do u tell yourselves to not care about what others think?

Call the chiropractor I’m back

2024-11-09 17:44:17 +0000 UTC

Sup people. To make it short, I’m 18 and i had a real girlfriend before, and recently I started dating this girl from Brazil (I’m also Brazilian and I’m in the US Air Force) and I’m struggling to care for her. And recently I’ve been feeling really for her since she is a great girl and she shows a lot affection towards me when I kind of have to fake it. It’s hard when I can only talk to her through texts and calls, and also there’s a lot of baddies here that I wish I could take my shots but I feel chained to this really great girl that I don’t have feelings for. Keep it real for me please and thank you.

TheyEatingTheirBitches,TheyEatingTheirPussies

2024-11-09 07:20:07 +0000 UTC

How does one find out if they are musical talented or not ?

Pan_of_Jello

2024-11-09 07:16:59 +0000 UTC

Should I cut the Red wire or the blue wire?

Special Needs Cannon

2024-11-09 05:09:34 +0000 UTC

Yeah I have some friends in Seattle and I’m working in Portland Oregon so I think it’s a big city issue

I strip copper so I can cop strippers

2024-11-09 04:23:43 +0000 UTC

Hello Chris, Kingston, and Beautiful. I am terrified that we have let the fascist back into the white house with no guard rails, I'm terrified for my LGBTQ friends and I'm terrified for my mother and sister, i cant even bring myself to talk to anyone about it. How do you feel normal? literally any advice welcome.

Some Caucazoid

2024-11-09 04:12:24 +0000 UTC

Reaper is pretty good from what I hear

Check out the Snark Tank bingo app on itch.io. Anyone can enter bingo submissions. Enjoy! [Cardboard_Pie]

2024-11-09 03:49:51 +0000 UTC

Life definitely feels strange still after covid you are not alone. I feel myself going through the motions at times. I try to have small things to look forward to. Best of luck to you.

Check out the Snark Tank bingo app on itch.io. Anyone can enter bingo submissions. Enjoy! [Cardboard_Pie]

2024-11-09 03:48:22 +0000 UTC

I've had offers to hit it on the first date. It's more about maintaining something long term.

ShoreMcLoving

2024-11-09 03:47:36 +0000 UTC

Start a successful podcast

Yan Uli

2024-11-09 03:47:21 +0000 UTC

Just microdose throwing up until you can macrodose

Yan Uli

2024-11-09 03:46:57 +0000 UTC

Sorry to hear that, hopefully you meet other people who can reciprocate their feeling for you. One-sided relationships only end badly.

Check out the Snark Tank bingo app on itch.io. Anyone can enter bingo submissions. Enjoy! [Cardboard_Pie]

2024-11-09 03:45:44 +0000 UTC

if you are inviting them over and not hitting you fucked up. don’t invite them over until you think you can.

Yan Uli

2024-11-09 03:45:16 +0000 UTC

Changing your mind because of new information is fine, but being skeptical and coming to your own conclusion is also important.

Check out the Snark Tank bingo app on itch.io. Anyone can enter bingo submissions. Enjoy! [Cardboard_Pie]

2024-11-09 03:42:32 +0000 UTC

Distractions are always a good decision. They aren't the end all be all but it helps.

Check out the Snark Tank bingo app on itch.io. Anyone can enter bingo submissions. Enjoy! [Cardboard_Pie]

2024-11-09 03:39:05 +0000 UTC

Public libraries are teeming with horny men

Check out the Snark Tank bingo app on itch.io. Anyone can enter bingo submissions. Enjoy! [Cardboard_Pie]

2024-11-09 03:37:33 +0000 UTC

Mother of the year. Sorry she sounds horrible. I personally would cut people that toxic out of my life, especially if they are family. Sometimes parents don't deserve to be parents, I wish you the best.

Check out the Snark Tank bingo app on itch.io. Anyone can enter bingo submissions. Enjoy! [Cardboard_Pie]

2024-11-09 03:32:19 +0000 UTC

I would say being upfront helps. It is good that you notice this issue with yourself and are trying to better yourself.

Check out the Snark Tank bingo app on itch.io. Anyone can enter bingo submissions. Enjoy! [Cardboard_Pie]

2024-11-09 03:27:10 +0000 UTC

Pickled nutcracker is soo fucking terrible lmao

ME WANNA FUCK MIKE TYSON'S JUICY ASS CHEEKS ON GOD

2024-11-09 03:20:09 +0000 UTC

Howdy Smellers! Can you get Sweeney to walk me through how to tie my shoes? Thanks.

Rat Pobertson

2024-11-09 03:18:04 +0000 UTC

Get a friend named Jesse and get him addicted to drugs. Complain about him being addicted to drugs. Get him a goth/punk gf and let her overdose while he is passed out. Seriously though just go full bald. I tried it once when i was 25 and it wasn't that bad. Wasn't balding but I wanted to see what I looked like.

Check out the Snark Tank bingo app on itch.io. Anyone can enter bingo submissions. Enjoy! [Cardboard_Pie]

2024-11-09 03:16:45 +0000 UTC

2 sponges, lube, and a glove should help your experience

Check out the Snark Tank bingo app on itch.io. Anyone can enter bingo submissions. Enjoy! [Cardboard_Pie]

2024-11-09 03:14:58 +0000 UTC

I am sorry for your loss. When I lost my dog my depression started to come back and I didn't really care about anything. Fortunately I have my family to help me to keep going. If it wasn't for them I don't know what I'd do. I hope things go better for you and that you can surround yourself with people that care and love you. Getting a job nowadays is mentally excruciating with tons of applications but you are met with little to no responses back from employers. I hate the current job market. I wish you the best.

Check out the Snark Tank bingo app on itch.io. Anyone can enter bingo submissions. Enjoy! [Cardboard_Pie]

2024-11-09 03:14:13 +0000 UTC

It's not about seeing where I'm coming from, it's that they think any information I give them are lies or don't matter. Like what do you say when you go "this man literally factually said that immigrants are eating people's pets" and they go "yea, but if he wasn't president we'd be having WW3"

Capricious Rizzard

2024-11-09 03:12:32 +0000 UTC

Hey “Your gay Dutch”, “Noooooo”, and “Don’t say that”. I’ve been watch Chris since I was in the 8th grade, I’m 21 now about to be 22, and I’m about to have a kid. We found out it was a boy today. What lessons should I impart onto them that I may not even know myself. Thank for being the three gay dads that I never had

Dr.Lizard

2024-11-09 03:09:20 +0000 UTC

Sometimes people are going to be stuck in their ways. However, whenever talking about your issues with Trump I would try not to be hostile, angry is fine, as it makes a bit easier for them to understand where you are coming from. Hopefully that helps

Check out the Snark Tank bingo app on itch.io. Anyone can enter bingo submissions. Enjoy! [Cardboard_Pie]

2024-11-09 03:06:57 +0000 UTC

I would recommend Ps5 as the only other option is switch, they offer different experiences. Switch obviously being the weaker option but a decent library, whereas the Ps5 has some great higher fidelity games. A PC allows the best of the switch and Ps5, but with the caveat of having to sometimes troubleshoot hardware/software. Finally, gaming in this age is a rather expensive hobby to get into. So don't worry about getting tons of stuff at once, since you mentioned a budget. Good lucking gaming!

Check out the Snark Tank bingo app on itch.io. Anyone can enter bingo submissions. Enjoy! [Cardboard_Pie]

2024-11-09 03:02:53 +0000 UTC

I feel if you warned your friend about it already and they haven't taken the advice unfortunately not much you can do. Hopefully she doesn't cheat on your friend again.

Check out the Snark Tank bingo app on itch.io. Anyone can enter bingo submissions. Enjoy! [Cardboard_Pie]

2024-11-09 02:55:58 +0000 UTC

Any advice for dates after the first date? The first date usually goes really well but things tend to burn out after that. I usually invite them over to my place for dinner and a movie/video game. Where would you go for a second or 3rd date?

ShoreMcLoving

2024-11-09 02:51:43 +0000 UTC

Day by day, and finding distractions helps a bit for me

Check out the Snark Tank bingo app on itch.io. Anyone can enter bingo submissions. Enjoy! [Cardboard_Pie]

2024-11-09 02:50:22 +0000 UTC

Why the hesitation? I live with family but they would understand if I wanted to.

Check out the Snark Tank bingo app on itch.io. Anyone can enter bingo submissions. Enjoy! [Cardboard_Pie]

2024-11-09 02:49:12 +0000 UTC

Nice squandog pfp. Definitely get rid of the boyfriend, it's the only logical option.

Check out the Snark Tank bingo app on itch.io. Anyone can enter bingo submissions. Enjoy! [Cardboard_Pie]

2024-11-09 02:48:00 +0000 UTC

I feel this. Not a bus driver, but this is a common occurrence in my home city (Toronto).

Roadside Piss Bottle

2024-11-09 02:05:49 +0000 UTC

Obv I didn’t mean physically idgaf

My Piss Poo (Blink number 1 and 2)

2024-11-09 01:40:32 +0000 UTC

This is mainly directed at Chris since as far as I’m aware the others don’t have adhd, but how do you manage to function enough to be creative, and do all this stuff? I can’t function for shit, and it’s basically killed any creative bone in my body.

The Talibum

2024-11-09 01:36:00 +0000 UTC

You don’t need them to answer this one for you. Any ingestion of heavy amount of smoke is bad for you, you can be completely fine being stoned 24/7 but your lungs are still getting fucked.

The Talibum

2024-11-09 01:32:34 +0000 UTC

Hello California bois, I know making music has been talked about on the show before, and I was wondering if you have any recommendations on good software to start/use if you're like me and purchased a MIDI controller keyboard. I've been a lifetime fan of Daft Punk and many other Synth/Electronic bands and want to work towards making my own stuff in that vein.

ItsEmma

2024-11-09 01:32:24 +0000 UTC

How do you decide wether or not something is harmful (mentally idgaf about physical health I die when I die) I smoke a lot of weed, so I sometimes wonder if I have a problem. But whenever I quit I’m not all of a sudden happier. it’s the same, but I have less fun. Thoughts?

My Piss Poo (Blink number 1 and 2)

2024-11-09 01:01:25 +0000 UTC

Hellos my step-daddies, I am a trans guy looking to uproot and move to a blue states after the election. I’m asking how did you guys survive in Cali after moving all the way from New York? Cost, Budgeting, jobs, anything I’m not even considering? I have a good job now but if I can’t transfer it I gotta do what I gotta do to stay safe. I’m sure other queer listeners are also looking for similar advice.

Does this unit have a soul

2024-11-09 00:21:36 +0000 UTC

Hello you fat fucks. I have a stupid fear of throwing up. Apparently its one of the more common phobias, but ive never met anyone with it. Its gotten so bad that whenever i feel nauseated, i self harm to distract from the nausea so i dont work myself up into throwing up. It works but it also hurts. Some have recommended alcohol or weed, but they just kinda make it worse. Im in therapy for it but i want results NOW, especially from three unqualified Neanderthals. So if you have any advice, or any stories of you guys overcoming fears, id appreciate it

Fun fact - that entire black panther end fight was animated from scratch within 6 weeks right before the film released

2024-11-09 00:16:48 +0000 UTC

How do you guys suggest to form a better relationship with money? Like how did you guys get your shit together when it comes to finances? Thanks for the gay keep it up I hate you!

Cummander ShepHARD

2024-11-08 23:57:58 +0000 UTC

😭

Caca flakes

2024-11-08 23:44:51 +0000 UTC

Hello my favourite life distractions! I’m just a wee 17 year old lad but I recently got back together with my ex after we’d broken up for about a month, and though i love her dearly i do not feel loved because of their depression mental health issues, which weighs heavily on my own mental health. so what i mean to ask you gents is, is it more important to look out for one’s self when in an unhappy relationship, or to not give up and try to make it work? Thank you for what you boys do in providing me and thousands of others a snarky break from an otherwise cynical world!

Jay-Z in a Yankee hat suit beating children

2024-11-08 23:44:03 +0000 UTC

Hello my silly Willys. I will be moving out of my moms house and be on my own with my girlfriend of 6 years . Any tips on moving out for the first time? Maybe some tips on living with a significant other?

Caca flakes

2024-11-08 23:43:46 +0000 UTC

The only problem is that with bottom surgery you actually KEEP THE HOG. There's this whole misconception that they lob it off, but what they actually do is invert it and stuff that shit inside you. It's actually pretty amazing how far it's come. I will, if I do choose to get the surgery, keep my testicles in a jar however.

Ashlet Combat Evolved

2024-11-08 23:32:23 +0000 UTC

Hi, guys. To summarize a lot of these post-election questions, I think: how would you maintain/develop/return to a sense of hope or purpose in difficult times?

Fifty-Dollar Patrons get to design Sweeney’s newest laugh

2024-11-08 23:23:44 +0000 UTC

Works wonders for writing and content creation. Maybe find a subreddit to upload 3D works and just shoot quick crafts that way

Mumford and Gay sons

2024-11-08 23:01:49 +0000 UTC

Learn to break dance

Mumford and Gay sons

2024-11-08 23:00:47 +0000 UTC

PS5 pro is not worth it, just wait for the PS6

Mumford and Gay sons

2024-11-08 23:00:13 +0000 UTC

Yoooo I like that. Little dopamine boosts to keep ya going.

AJ O’possum

2024-11-08 23:00:01 +0000 UTC

Get the surgery but keep it in a jar and pickle it like a brain so you can Frankenstein your significant other with your fat fucking hog

Mumford and Gay sons

2024-11-08 22:59:47 +0000 UTC

My favorite way is when I’m working towards a longer project i take breaks to just bust out something that comes to mind in a crappy 5 minute project and either upload/show off that so I get the feeling of accomplishment from completing something without ruining my drive for the longer project

Mumford and Gay sons

2024-11-08 22:59:04 +0000 UTC

I’ve been looking for a Hispanic YouTuber to watch but my favorite one vanished off the face of the earth, what do I do?

Mumford and Gay sons

2024-11-08 22:57:45 +0000 UTC

Hey Pimp, Chimp, and Limp…you know who you are. I need advice on shitty fathers, my dad, who I have been in a very limited contact relationship, recently called me and broke down “reminiscing about the good times” (this guy cheated on my mom, stole my sister and I’s collage fund, and hundreds of thousands from his mother) only to drop the “I have cancer” and I honestly don’t know how to feel, he’s a shmuck and passed down some shmuck demons I have to deal with. I feel conflicted, on one hand Karma’s here to collect and on the other wouldn’t wish cancer on my worst enemy.

Walt Disney breaking DeSantis’s knee caps

2024-11-08 22:43:04 +0000 UTC

Currently in school for 3D Modelling and Animation. How do y’all fuckers avoid creative burnout or deal with it when it happens?

AJ O’possum

2024-11-08 22:40:54 +0000 UTC

I'm a sexy trans goth bitch and I don't know whether I should get bottom surgery or not. On one hand I enjoy having a big fat hog, but on the other hand it's distracting when it FLOP falls out from under my skirt.

Ashlet Combat Evolved

2024-11-08 22:34:54 +0000 UTC

porn stars ranked on squirtibility

East Coast Heroin Baby

2024-11-08 22:10:11 +0000 UTC

My birthday is in March; should I get a PS5 pro then or just wait until 2028/29 for the PS6? Curious when the hard cutoff will be for PS4 games or if we’re in a new era where that just won’t happen. Thanks fellas!

Just Kidding Simmons

2024-11-08 21:58:28 +0000 UTC

ASK?

No way this entire Siberian orchestra is trans

2024-11-08 21:56:58 +0000 UTC

Hey Jabba, Lando and Luke I’m 22 and have never been in a relationship with a girl; when I was a teenager I was just an immature adhd ridden fat loser so there was never a chance of me being in one then. But in recent years I’ve lost a ton of weight, matured and just cleaned how I present myself way better. But now my main problem is I just don’t know how to talk to women. I just don’t want to seem like a creep weirdo approaching random women I just feel like if I were in their position I wouldn’t want be bothered. Any tips on what I should say or ways I can approach women without seeming like a freak? Keep up the great work you sub humans

Master Chief has one large testicle

2024-11-08 21:51:48 +0000 UTC

Good afternoon Gentlemen, I'm in my third year of university studying computer science and I'm having a hard time finding the motivation to stay dedicated to school, take care of my health, continue playing music and maintain my friendships. I'm not depressed or anything thankfully, but just having a rough time with motivation and time management. Would love to hear what ya'll have to say. Thanks for the content

Joe Shmoe's Arabic brother Mohamed Shmamed

2024-11-08 21:47:36 +0000 UTC

What's up, you wretched things. I recently got off some prescription medicine that I had been on for a very long time, and I feel like I've suddenly out of the fog. My passion is back, and my will to do things is greater, but I've found that my ability to confidently speak has failed me. What are some things I can do to remedy this?

cum the color of sangria

2024-11-08 21:44:55 +0000 UTC

I finally achieved my life long goal of sucking my own dick but, in the process I snapped my spine. Now I'm paralyzed from the waist up, my legs still work fine but when I walk my upper body flops around like one of those wacky waving tube mascots outside of car dealerships. People point and laugh at me during my morning run. What should I do?

The Big Red Dub

2024-11-08 21:43:29 +0000 UTC

Hey Gaymers. Last month during hunting season I was tracking deer through the woods in the snow like my native ancestors(it’s really easy), and suddenly got a feeling of unease. I heard something knocking on a tree coming from the woods in front of me, and curious, knocked on a tree in a certain pattern. It copied it pretty much perfectly and I decided to turn around and get the fuck out of there. I wanna know what symbols/prayers/effigies I should make to keep the evil spirts away? Should I give up hunting all together?

LickinBallsLickinBallsItsPenisTimeInTheCityDingali

2024-11-08 21:41:34 +0000 UTC

Hey woke libtards, what do you think it takes to become a cool old person? I'm 26 and I worry that as life goes on I will slowly turn into a cynical, ignorant, bitter fuckhead. I don't know any cool elderly myself but I know they exist. Personally I think having a juvenile sense of humor like you three helps but what else do you think it takes?

Commander-in-Queef

2024-11-08 21:38:17 +0000 UTC

My wife fucked my dog and they took the kids... what do I even do now?

The Will Smith that's not a bitch

2024-11-08 21:28:00 +0000 UTC

Since “your body, my choice” has been trending in Trump’s America, what type of gun do you MEN suggest I get to protect myself against Nick Fuentes?

Pearl Jam- Jeremys Bustin On My Face (NikkiZiggy)

2024-11-08 21:24:54 +0000 UTC

Hello rat fursona, squirrel fursona, and possum fursona. I always thought situations like this were over blown but now that it's happening to me I get it. Recently my best friend/roommate got a boyfriend and he's in that obsession phase. He won't shut up about him and he spends all his time talking to him leaving little to no time for the two of us to hangout. Should I just wait quietly and hope this phase ends swiftly? Should I talk to my roommate about it right away and sort things out that way? Do I kill their boyfriend and remove any competition? Thanks for the advice you rodents.

SKiV_

2024-11-08 21:24:42 +0000 UTC

Hey all my fellas! I've found myself in a pit if awkwardness where I can't tell my mom that I want to move out. How did/would you guys ask your parents to move out?

Keith David but he's a MAGA supporter

2024-11-08 21:22:05 +0000 UTC

How much skin lightening cream would it take for you guys to remain in America in 5 years

La Raza

2024-11-08 21:21:03 +0000 UTC

When was someone gonna tell me we had such genius homeless

YaGuyALT

2024-11-08 21:09:29 +0000 UTC

You make everyone. Gayer than you do then contextually you’re less gay

50 Shades of Gay

2024-11-08 21:06:57 +0000 UTC

Yes enter Walter white era except go chaotic good, in the wake of trumps horrifying new policy we may need someone to synthesize hrt, instead of crystal blue ur gonna be making slightly chalky green and also progesterone…..

50 Shades of Gay

2024-11-08 21:06:13 +0000 UTC

Sup liberals, how do you guys deal with grief?

2016 remake going crazy

2024-11-08 21:05:11 +0000 UTC

Hey Boys, What do you do when your best friend's girlfriend cheats on him within the first week of dating, but they stay together anyway? I'm of the mind that "Once a cheater, always a cheater," but they seem to be doing OK a year in. I don't imagine there's much I can actually do, as I've given my opinion on it all when it happened, but every nickpick I have of her is amplified due to what she did. I have the sinking feeling it won't end well, but I figured I'd get y'alls thoughts!

Ethan Barcelos

2024-11-08 21:04:48 +0000 UTC

Hey lads, I got locked into a mental health ward due to domestic stuff. How does one move out, like where do you start?

Really bad at tying knots

2024-11-08 21:03:02 +0000 UTC

What’s crackin you filthy home dwellers? As gratifying as it is to hold the title of the most homeless homeless, I and my woman have grown weary and want to give permanent dwellings a try! Seriously though, we are wanting to pick up and move to Greece in a couple of years, and since Derrick lived there for a time, I wanted to ask what we should do to maximize the experience? What kind of culture shocks can we expect? Preciate all you boys!

Undefeated Homeless Champ

2024-11-08 21:02:58 +0000 UTC

Hey fellas. So I have been kicking around the idea of getting into gaming more as of late. The most recent console I have is a PS4 and I think I want to upgrade to the next gen for more recent releases. Do you guys have any suggestions on what console I should go for, or should I save up for a PC? I just recently had a kid so the budget is tight for the foreseeable future. I've enjoyed mostly single player story based games like rdr2. Thanks for the help boys as always.

Imagine Dragons official

2024-11-08 21:02:33 +0000 UTC

Hey snark-aholics. Do you guys have any advice or opinions when dealing with people who think all news against Trump is just liberal lies or that he's the only thing keeping us from world War 3. I keep trying to tell some of my coworkers that this orange fat bastard is a dumbass but they just go on about "grocery prices. The economy sucked under Biden. He's keeping Putin and China in check"

Capricious Rizzard

2024-11-08 21:00:53 +0000 UTC

One of my best friends died very suddenly in his sleep a few days ago. This year I’ve been heartbroken twice, I had covid twice, I can’t find a job, now this. I’ve been struggling to keep my head above water, now I’m struggling to see the point of putting the effort in when I could go to sleep and just not wake up. How do I keep going when it feels like the world takes more than it gives?

Mikey Neapolitan

2024-11-08 20:59:30 +0000 UTC

Also side note to emphasize how annoying this is, my mother is also functionally retarded. She is proud of the fact that she can't do 6th grade math and acts like a condescending genius because she believes she's full of "common sense." She's also told me openly my entire life since I was 6 how much she wants me to fail at everything I do. Cheers cunts

splish splash I was gaping his ass

2024-11-08 20:59:10 +0000 UTC

As a guy with my dick stuck in a Pringle can, what should I do?

ME WANNA FUCK MIKE TYSON'S JUICY ASS CHEEKS ON GOD

2024-11-08 20:58:52 +0000 UTC

I'd also like to see this answered

Definitely Stephanie

2024-11-08 20:58:24 +0000 UTC

As a 24 year old man that's balding is it over for me? Does this mean I have to enter my villain arc, but I can grow a mean beard.

My left nut now fixed

2024-11-08 20:57:29 +0000 UTC

Hello unlicensed therapists, I have an issue that I think may already know the answer to but of course it involves a girl I’m interested in. I’ve known her for about 4 years, we’ve been friends for those 4 years and I met her at my old job and she had been in a nearly 7 year toxic relationship that she recently got out of. Probably about 5 months ago. She’s still hurt and processing everything that happened (the guy was a piece of shit). Now more recently we have been talking and we both know we are interested in each other and she’s already sent me nudes and even told me that I talk to her in a very special way that no one else has before. She says she still needs to heal and better herself before possibly being in a relationship with me which is totally understandable but I don’t know if that’s really her intention. My question is, should I wait or just dip? My gut tells me that I should let it go but I really like her as well. Thanks for reading!

Dolphin Cum Jelly

2024-11-08 20:56:20 +0000 UTC

Hello my 3 dads I listen to when I play Sparking Zero or CoD. I've been on a journey of self improvement in a mental and physical sense. Physically wise, I've improved a decent amount, I've lost 30 pounds and gain some muscle, though I took a break, I'm going back to the gym to become stronger. In a mental sense, I feel like I need a lot of improvement, particularly trying to find a significant other. I've been going out with a good amount of girl, hell, I go to a freaking women's college, but I always just end up being just their friend, I don't want to force anything so I always start as friends but honestly, do you think it's a bad idea to just start out being friends with a girl hoping it would be bigger, or just be up front with it? And if you don't get what you want, would you just not see them anymore? I went out a friend of mine I've liked and been friends with for a year, but when she said to me "we would work well on paper" I got mad and ghosted her. Like wtf does that mean lmao. I feel these conflicting feelings because I form a strong friendship only to then cut them off. But why keep them around if I don't get what I wanted from the relationship. I feel lots of confliction. I feel like working on myself physically would help but now I feel like the main hurdle is my mental state when it comes to this kind of situation. Also, love the show. Been watching since episode 5.

groggo doggo

2024-11-08 20:55:34 +0000 UTC

Hello Phillip Seymour Johnson, professor dad, and Derrick I recently stopped speaking to my parents because I was raised under constant verbal degradation and gaslighting. The only thing that prevented my from killing myself was getting stepped on by a goth mommy in new jersey(I’ve never been to Jersey for any other reason) any advice on how to move forward or build found family especially after moving across the country from Massachusetts to Michigan (btw New England is better than New York)

Chris please cover American idiot I’ll donate 100

2024-11-08 20:54:53 +0000 UTC

Hello Bris Ray Gun, SomeJewGuy and Tom Steinney, My mother pocketed a shit ton of money from my dad's life insurance policy, spent a bunch of it on stupid shit like a new convertible, and then started fucking one of the neighbors (who also happens to be a MAGAtard). I'm 20 and putting myself through college and too broke to find my own place to live. Am I wrong for thinking she's a cunt and wanting nothing to do with her? What's the game plan moving forward? Thank you my three favorite black men

splish splash I was gaping his ass

2024-11-08 20:54:46 +0000 UTC

Why can't I stop thinking about what my gender is

buttmaster42069

2024-11-08 20:54:18 +0000 UTC

Hello triumvirate, to preface I am a city bus driver. I have a lot of first hand experience with the homeless and folk with addiction. It is very easy for me to have a bad day in which a few crack heads will pay me too much lip or do some heinous shit. I do try to have a heart, especially since it’s getting colder and colder every night. I’ll often give out food to those in need but on my bad days I simply don’t because of the bad eggs. How do I keep myself in a more charitable and positive mindset on those days when I wished that the overdose rates were higher.

I strip copper so I can cop strippers

2024-11-08 20:53:54 +0000 UTC

5 basic meals that any adult should be able to pull out their dickhole and slap on the table?

No way this entire Siberian orchestra is trans

2024-11-08 20:53:47 +0000 UTC

Im a trans woman, haha do I’m trying to make a tier list of best escape destinations, got any ideas? Also do yall think stronghold cities in the us going to be safe or is it safer to just move. Im kinda sensing a potential war and I don’t want to be in a country engaged in war because conflict tends to throw social issues under the rug even more and that’s not going to go well for us… Im also really concerned that they’re going to prevent people from fleeing once he’s elected. So I have no idea whether I should wait on it or not I’m extremely concerned about forced medical detransitions. I don’t trust the medical community as a whole to be on our side because I’ve seen it myself so many times. Anyone else reading this please feel free to weigh in because knowledge is power. I’m asking this around everywhere if you’re in my situation I suggest you do the same, because right now we all need to pay as much attention as possible to this so we know whether or not it’s safe to stay here.

50 Shades of Gay

2024-11-08 20:53:35 +0000 UTC

Hey guys. I feel like I've kind of lost faith in humanity especially after the election. How do you guys deal with extreme disappointment? I'm always looking for new ways to better myself. I really appreciate you guys. By the way Derek, The Ugandan Knuckles Theme was a hit at the show I debuted at.

The Snark Tanks Favorite Wrestler

2024-11-08 20:53:06 +0000 UTC

Hey guys. Not a funny question but I’m in school, trying to get my undergrad in biomedical science and I struggle so much getting motivated to study. I’m taking classes online so it’s so easy to stop what I’m doing and scroll on tik tok for hours on end, and then end up rushing to finish my schoolwork. When I took classes I was interested in, this was not a problem. I stayed ahead of my due dates by over a week consistently. My question, how to you get yourself motivated to do things you don’t want to do especially now that you can easily get lost in what you actually want to do for hours? Thinking about my future working in the field that I know I’ll love doesn’t really help me stay awake during physics lectures. Thanks in advance if y’all see this.

Kay

2024-11-08 20:53:00 +0000 UTC

Okay so there's this really cute girl at the gym and I need y'alls help with this one, how can I fuck more men?

Paying $5 rent to live in Sweeney's tooth gap

2024-11-08 20:52:11 +0000 UTC

four more years of Trump. What’s the best thing to do to not wanna kill yourself? I’ve gotten rid of Twitter and feel better getting less information everyday, Going to hyper fixate on my hobbies like drawing and playing cod zombies. What do you think?

Dain

2024-11-08 20:48:50 +0000 UTC

As someone in a hispanic household, family means everything. But my relationship with my mother has been messy to the point I cannot trust her anymore. She not evil per say, but she gets blinded by money a lot, and would gaslight her children for not being on her side. How should I go forth?

Dylan

2024-11-08 20:48:20 +0000 UTC

Hello baron von pilot, sir maldonado, and the court jester. Mine is an ideological canundrum. Sometimes i dont know if i changed my mind because i adjusted to new information, or if it was because i just downloaded a new opinion from a person i like. How can you be certain youve changed for the right reasons?

pp. sometimes when i wipe it feels like getting gum out of my hair with a napkin

2024-11-08 20:47:58 +0000 UTC

What do you do when one of your childhood friends is gay for you but your just straight

tytychicken

2024-11-08 20:47:54 +0000 UTC

Is it fair to give up your baby for adoption who you know will have severe special needs

tytychicken

2024-11-08 20:47:07 +0000 UTC

How do you deal with the anxiety of trying to help your mom out while she has cancer

Tankis The Trash Man

2024-11-08 20:47:04 +0000 UTC

Hey dads! HELP I’m in love with my best friend who does NOT love me back! Should I kill myself? Or just yearn for the rest of my life? Or maybe get another cat? What would you do boys?

YoungJedi772

2024-11-08 20:46:44 +0000 UTC

Currently dealing with realizing i’ve snowballed to what feels a point of no return mentally after covid. Feels like ive been living my life on autopilot not really living. Any advice or relation to that?

ReviewsSlavesUSA

2024-11-08 20:46:39 +0000 UTC

How do I stop being so gay

YaGuyALT

2024-11-08 20:46:02 +0000 UTC

Extra Ammo: Advice Column!

Comments

What’s good snark gang, I’m almost done building my first pc and wanted your suggestion on what games I should buy from steam.

Hey fellas. Recently lost all faith in God and discovered I'm a blazing queer. Currently going undercover in the oil field until I have enough cash to escape to a liberal stronghold in the US to pursue my gay ass femboy dreams. Any advice for getting started in a big city like LA or Seattle?

20 year old I want to drop out of college but don’t know what to do rn I go to a community college in upstate by studying engineering and it sucks . I also work full time to avoid student loans. I have no social life and spend all my time working and doing math

Hey boys, It’s me again. In the last episode you spoke about feeling bad for the people who didn’t vote for trump who are going to be affected. What’s your advice to left leaning people like myself who feel kind of trapped in a red state because of family and work and things like that?

I have two in mind. You can choose whichever. Is growing up essentially losing interest in the things you used to live and accepting it? How do you quell perfectionism in making art? I want to get back into art, but I struggle with getting past this barrier.

Question for Derek and possibly Chris. What's the best way to write drum parts for a song if you're only a guitarist? Do I find a drummer or is it feasible to learn to program drums?

Hey you 2 good boys and the dark one, my family is full on insane trump cult conservative plus any conspiracy theory you can name they believe, any advice on trying to get along with them or should I just cut them off ?

Aaaaaahgggghhhh!!

I got taught in school that if you smoked one weed, you'd become retarded and die of AIDS. It's amazing you're still alive.

I recomend getting all your nourishment from having someone you're close to vomit down your throat, baby bird style. After a couple of months you'll stop thinking of vomit as something to be afraid of and start thinking of it as more of a tepid soup.

Better yet, buy a jar of pickled onions, plop your severed testees in the jar and return it to the store the net day.

I gotta problem with buying WHORES, how can you stop me from buying WHORES?

Hey yall. What do u tell yourselves to not care about what others think?

How does one find out if they are musical talented or not ?

Should I cut the Red wire or the blue wire?

Yeah I have some friends in Seattle and I’m working in Portland Oregon so I think it’s a big city issue

Reaper is pretty good from what I hear

Life definitely feels strange still after covid you are not alone. I feel myself going through the motions at times. I try to have small things to look forward to. Best of luck to you.

I've had offers to hit it on the first date. It's more about maintaining something long term.

Start a successful podcast

Just microdose throwing up until you can macrodose

Sorry to hear that, hopefully you meet other people who can reciprocate their feeling for you. One-sided relationships only end badly.

if you are inviting them over and not hitting you fucked up. don’t invite them over until you think you can.

Changing your mind because of new information is fine, but being skeptical and coming to your own conclusion is also important.

Distractions are always a good decision. They aren't the end all be all but it helps.

Public libraries are teeming with horny men

Mother of the year. Sorry she sounds horrible. I personally would cut people that toxic out of my life, especially if they are family. Sometimes parents don't deserve to be parents, I wish you the best.

I would say being upfront helps. It is good that you notice this issue with yourself and are trying to better yourself.

Pickled nutcracker is soo fucking terrible lmao

Howdy Smellers! Can you get Sweeney to walk me through how to tie my shoes? Thanks.

2 sponges, lube, and a glove should help your experience

It's not about seeing where I'm coming from, it's that they think any information I give them are lies or don't matter. Like what do you say when you go "this man literally factually said that immigrants are eating people's pets" and they go "yea, but if he wasn't president we'd be having WW3"

Sometimes people are going to be stuck in their ways. However, whenever talking about your issues with Trump I would try not to be hostile, angry is fine, as it makes a bit easier for them to understand where you are coming from. Hopefully that helps

I feel if you warned your friend about it already and they haven't taken the advice unfortunately not much you can do. Hopefully she doesn't cheat on your friend again.

Any advice for dates after the first date? The first date usually goes really well but things tend to burn out after that. I usually invite them over to my place for dinner and a movie/video game. Where would you go for a second or 3rd date?

Day by day, and finding distractions helps a bit for me

Why the hesitation? I live with family but they would understand if I wanted to.

Nice squandog pfp. Definitely get rid of the boyfriend, it's the only logical option.

I feel this. Not a bus driver, but this is a common occurrence in my home city (Toronto).

Obv I didn’t mean physically idgaf

This is mainly directed at Chris since as far as I’m aware the others don’t have adhd, but how do you manage to function enough to be creative, and do all this stuff? I can’t function for shit, and it’s basically killed any creative bone in my body.

You don’t need them to answer this one for you. Any ingestion of heavy amount of smoke is bad for you, you can be completely fine being stoned 24/7 but your lungs are still getting fucked.

How do you decide wether or not something is harmful (mentally idgaf about physical health I die when I die) I smoke a lot of weed, so I sometimes wonder if I have a problem. But whenever I quit I’m not all of a sudden happier. it’s the same, but I have less fun. Thoughts?

How do you guys suggest to form a better relationship with money? Like how did you guys get your shit together when it comes to finances? Thanks for the gay keep it up I hate you!

😭

Hello my silly Willys. I will be moving out of my moms house and be on my own with my girlfriend of 6 years . Any tips on moving out for the first time? Maybe some tips on living with a significant other?

Hi, guys. To summarize a lot of these post-election questions, I think: how would you maintain/develop/return to a sense of hope or purpose in difficult times?

Works wonders for writing and content creation. Maybe find a subreddit to upload 3D works and just shoot quick crafts that way

Learn to break dance

PS5 pro is not worth it, just wait for the PS6

Yoooo I like that. Little dopamine boosts to keep ya going.

Get the surgery but keep it in a jar and pickle it like a brain so you can Frankenstein your significant other with your fat fucking hog

My favorite way is when I’m working towards a longer project i take breaks to just bust out something that comes to mind in a crappy 5 minute project and either upload/show off that so I get the feeling of accomplishment from completing something without ruining my drive for the longer project

I’ve been looking for a Hispanic YouTuber to watch but my favorite one vanished off the face of the earth, what do I do?

Currently in school for 3D Modelling and Animation. How do y’all fuckers avoid creative burnout or deal with it when it happens?

I'm a sexy trans goth bitch and I don't know whether I should get bottom surgery or not. On one hand I enjoy having a big fat hog, but on the other hand it's distracting when it *FLOP* falls out from under my skirt.

porn stars ranked on squirtibility

My birthday is in March; should I get a PS5 pro then or just wait until 2028/29 for the PS6? Curious when the hard cutoff will be for PS4 games or if we’re in a new era where that just won’t happen. Thanks fellas!

ASK?

My wife fucked my dog and they took the kids... what do I even do now?

Since “your body, my choice” has been trending in Trump’s America, what type of gun do you MEN suggest I get to protect myself against Nick Fuentes?

Hey all my fellas! I've found myself in a pit if awkwardness where I can't tell my mom that I want to move out. How did/would you guys ask your parents to move out?

How much skin lightening cream would it take for you guys to remain in America in 5 years

When was someone gonna tell me we had such genius homeless

You make everyone. Gayer than you do then contextually you’re less gay

Yes enter Walter white era except go chaotic good, in the wake of trumps horrifying new policy we may need someone to synthesize hrt, instead of crystal blue ur gonna be making slightly chalky green and also progesterone…..

Sup liberals, how do you guys deal with grief?

Hey lads, I got locked into a mental health ward due to domestic stuff. How does one move out, like where do you start?

As a guy with my dick stuck in a Pringle can, what should I do?

I'd also like to see this answered

As a 24 year old man that's balding is it over for me? Does this mean I have to enter my villain arc, but I can grow a mean beard.

Why can't I stop thinking about what my gender is

5 basic meals that any adult should be able to pull out their dickhole and slap on the table?

Hey guys. I feel like I've kind of lost faith in humanity especially after the election. How do you guys deal with extreme disappointment? I'm always looking for new ways to better myself. I really appreciate you guys. By the way Derek, The Ugandan Knuckles Theme was a hit at the show I debuted at.

Okay so there's this really cute girl at the gym and I need y'alls help with this one, how can I fuck more men?

four more years of Trump. What’s the best thing to do to not wanna kill yourself? I’ve gotten rid of Twitter and feel better getting less information everyday, Going to hyper fixate on my hobbies like drawing and playing cod zombies. What do you think?

As someone in a hispanic household, family means everything. But my relationship with my mother has been messy to the point I cannot trust her anymore. She not evil per say, but she gets blinded by money a lot, and would gaslight her children for not being on her side. How should I go forth?

What do you do when one of your childhood friends is gay for you but your just straight

I'm a sexy trans goth bitch and I don't know whether I should get bottom surgery or not. On one hand I enjoy having a big fat hog, but on the other hand it's distracting when it FLOP falls out from under my skirt.