ALLCAPS COOKBOOK PRESENTS: Pistachio Pie!

The innocent mind of a child keeps coming up with genuinely great baking ideas, I don’t know what to tell you.

Do they eat the baked goods I design from their specifications? Ehhhhhh sometimes. BUT I SURE DO.

This one certainly came from the Childe realizing I'm KIND OF INTO pistachios; apart from the far-too-expensive macadamia nuts, they're my favorite. After another round of The Great British Bake-Off, Bastian/Draco asked: "Well, do you think we could make a pistachio pie? Because we can make pecan pie..."

Record scratch.

Well, Reader, I looked around and found MANY totally revolting-looking green pistachio cream pies, which were very clearly "JELL-O brand pistachio pudding cream pies" and not anything else, but could not find much in the way of "pecan pie but with pistachios." So I feel that this is close enough to Our Own Thing that not only will I be making it again, I have allowed my Tiny Gordon Ramsay to believe it is their own invention.

It's...pretty great. Totally different texture, the salty-sweet combo is front and center, the caramel is sticky and hardened in all the right places, and somehow, not only is it better on the second day (like all pies and soups), but even better on the third, and bafflingly, NOTICEABLY BETTER ON THE FOURTH DAMN DAY.

Put vanilla ice cream or whipped cream on it, I mean, OBVIOUSLY. And be aware that, if you, like me, had never actually made a pecan pie from scratch before, the batter IS supposed to be the pale yellow color of 100% butter sloughing out of your mixing bowl. It'll all work out in the end.

This one is VERY rich, so a tiny slice will do, but the Child hath Strucke Agayn. If I did it again I might scatter some orange zest into the batter, to give it that orange blossom Moroccan flair. But it's fantastic as is and I already miss it now that we're apart.

Ingredients

1 storebought or homemade pie crust , unbaked (you only need the one half, this pie doesn't have a hat. I've linked my favorite home recipe, which we discussed previously)

1 cup granulated sugar

3 Tablespoons light brown sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cup light corn syrup

3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 1/2 teaspoon dark rum (optional, also feel free to substitute bourbon, I just thought the rum would work nicely with the New Nut Factor, and it DID)

1/4 teaspoon (real) maple syrup

1/3 cup salted butter , softened or melted

3 large eggs

3/4 cups salted pistachios, roughly interfered with

3/4 cup unsalted pistachios, roughly...so basically just smush some of them and leave others whole, haphazard, to provide several textures in the finished pie

PISTACHIOOOOOO (to the tune of RU FI OHHHHH!)

Preheat oven to 425.

However you've done your pie crust, lay it into your (deep) pie plate, press into the walls of the plate, then put into the fridge with a bag of beans or other weight in the middle to keep it from shrinking too much while you work.

In a large bowl or standing mixer, cream together the sugars, salt, corn syrup, and softened butter. Gently mix in the eggs, maple syrup, rum, and vanilla.

Reserve about 1/3 cup of the nuts and stir the rest into the batter. Pour batter into cold pie shell, then arrange a layer of nuts evenly (or in a pretty pattern if you have time and care, which I did not) over the top of the batter.

Bake at 425 for 10 minutes, then lower to 350 and bake another 50-60 minutes, or until the filling is dark brown and golden. Basically until it looks like a pumpkin pie should.

Remove from oven and let cool for 20 minutes, then shift into the refrigerator to set for at least two hours, longer is also fine. Voila! Everything old is new again!