A very large post on why I'm starting this year off with an extended break to avoid instantaneously perishing.

Hey, firstly if you're curious as to why I'm using Patreon for this post, it's not some elaborate scheme to drive up Patreon numbers via guilt, in fact I'm cancelling Patreon billing for the month just to avoid that possibility.  I just genuinely don't know what options there are for text dump websites.


TL;DR though, like two hundred different things happened / are happening IRL simultaneously so I'm making the executive decision to let myself have two or three weeks off to cool down and focus on getting better. I made decent progress this month despite the lack of results, so videos will actually be coming out at a decent pace soon (more than like, once every two months, update on that soon).




So here's more elaboration for those of you who, for whatever reason, care.  I make a bunch of (sometimes, controversial) decisions to avoid burnout.  YouTube is one of those "jobs" where you can literally work 24/7 7 days a week, and a lot of creators fall into a trap of tackling more than they can manage and perishing. Because of that I always prioritize mental health and long-term success over short term crunch and stress because I think that leads to better videos and possibly even better analytics over the course of enough time.

This is one of those decisions, I'll be taking a break until ~early February.

So let me summarize this as "quickly" as possible. Firstly, I have health conditions which are pretty damn debilitating at times.  I didn't realize until recently that those health conditions actually combo together in a way that's genuinely comedic in a cosmic sense (almost all of the recommended treatment plans actually produce adverse reactions, meaning I will likely have to pursue surgeries).

Secondly, medical bills are expensive and I had to smash the bank to find treatment options.

Thirdly, vet bills are expensive and I had to rush Bug to the vet at the beginning of this month because he was sick.  He's totally fine now, he's back to his cute little puppy self, but my savings are now essentially gonezo.  

Fourthly, and probably the most fun part of all, there was a family emergency and there are now currently 2 children and a baby in my house at nearly all times.  I think it goes without saying, but children and especially babies are not extraordinarily self sufficient. They're also really loud, which lead me to this fun realization.  

In order to work productively, not only do I have to be awake during a time where everyone is sleeping, but staying up super late is a stupid decision and it means I have to essentially stay up with 3-5 hours of sleep, repeatedly.

One of the disorders I have is a sleeping disorder, which means this tactic was bordering on self harm. In fact, this post was written after a failed attempt at staying awake with 4 hours of sleep and having a terrifying sleep paralysis episode where I felt like I was suffocating and was pretty much convinced I was going to die.



All in all, for a quick summary, this fucking sucks! So yeah, I'm taking a break. I'm going to spend this time to focus on things IRL. I want to pursue mental health and physical health treatment, spend some more time exercising and practicing healthy habits, spend less time on social media and hit up some of the things I'm passionate in (volunteering, learning more German, playing some new and fresh games, etc), and overall just invigorate myself for the rest of the year.

One of the things that was *supposed* to come out at the beginning of this year was a Q&A / Update video, and to cover one of the topics in there I am extremely optimistic for 2023. I spent a lot of 2022 experimenting on a whole slew of different topics/concepts/formats to figure out what works for me and what doesn't, and I think I finally have a steady grasp on what I want to do and how to pursue that path to make this the best year for the channel.

I know this isn't a fantastic start, but I genuinely believe by making this decision I'm setting myself up for success over the course of the year.  I want to thank you all for being so patient, and I want to thank you all for being generally great.  Hope to see you all soon with more uplifting and fun news, cheers!

-Davey