World's Funnest/Last Imp Standing: Original Concept Pitch/Plotline

if I posted this before, I apologize. I don't think I have. But I'm trying to kick off some more posts about World's Funnest so why not start at the beginning. 

Let's begin!

This was the document I sent in to Joey Cavalieri at DC Comics to set up World's Funnest (originally called "Last Imp Standing", which is the story title within the book itself, to fill out the Silver Age splash). It was practically already sold, this was mostly cleaning everything up and giving DC something to sign off on. The book had been in verbal discussion for almost a year as it took shape. Originally it was supposed to be only the Silver Age segment, a 28-32 page story, without all the dimension hopping. But Mike Carlin felt it wouldn't sell as a Silver Age or DCU animated book. While the animated books were respected and my favorites at DC, they were considered box-office poison up at the office. That's why I flailed around without pitching it for a while. I didn't want to do it as a "regular" comic, I was just not a fan of the way DC superhero comics looked and felt at the time. The "modern age" segment of the printed book reflects that pretty clearly.

Months after we started kicking the "Mxy book" around (as Carlin referred to it) some friends and I went to a Manhattan gallery opening featuring Alex Ross work (before heading out for our usual Thursday night drinking at the Ace bar). A lot of DC staffers and freelancers were there, the event was for a Marvel series, I honestly can't remember what it was. It was after Marvels, obviously. Anyway, there were a lot of pencil and pencil/ink pieces by Ross, including a few nifty WB animated-style Superman drawings (aside -- I prefer his pencils and inks to his painted work, by far, to be honest). I don't know what exactly triggered the idea, but that's where it struck me that the Silver Age plotline for Last Imp Standing could be repeated and stretched across all the DC dimensions and universes. Mike Carlin was at the gallery. I went over to him and he actually said, "Where's my Mxy book?" (he would say this instead of "hello" in the DC hallways). I told him I had an idea on how to approach it -- a way to keep the classic DC art style  as well as the current, more commercial style. I said something like, "How about we do them all? All the dimensions, universes, DC eras? And we use every art style that goes with them?". Carlin said to go for it. 

I got super drunk that night, happy as all get-out, fit to burst with ideas streaming into my head. And I started working on the pitch. Which took a while. Some ideas got rejected for legal reasons (a Television "universe", using imagery from various DC TV series like Batman, Wonder Woman and Shazam -- I assumed it was a long shot because of the various studios who owned them), some were rejected for stupid reasons (Paul levitz nixed the Vertigo segment because of the separation of "church and state" between Vertigo and the regular line, despite the plot involving nothing more "adult" than established DC/vertigo characters holding pints of beer). 

Eventually the pitch came together, and the rest is a mess of stuff that also worked out eventually. It felt like it took 20 years to get it all wrapped up. The script took about six months, working in sections when an artist's schedule opened up and we had a window to work with them. I think the Alex Ross three-page section needed to be scripted first, ironically enough. Then I think the Silver Age was done to give Dave Gibbons time. 

I am trying to find the most complete versions of all the various script segments for the entire World's Funnest book. I think I'll be posting them all in sequence, possibly with art from each segment. I should have pencils and inks on most of the chapters. I also think I have my Mxy and Bat-Mite badge art, possibly some layouts. It's been over 20 years, I wish I could find my old diary entries while working on this stuff (I likely threw them out). I am a-swooning from the weight of decades upon me. 

I'm thinking of posting the opening Silver Age script to all backers, then the rest, with a few of the remaining chapters exclusive to some folks. I have to post more stuff for the higher backers, I hate to do that but I am trying to make those tiers worthwhile. Everything makes me worry, so don't worry, I'm just worrying in real time here. Maybe I'll try to come up with something else so I don't worry as much. I have no help with the computer these days and I'm screwing up doing the  pin-ups and the PDFs and I'm a doofus. Sorry. Thanks for being here, folks. That's the end of the handwringing section of tonight's post. I'm really tired, sorry).

Anyway, here's the pitch that confirmed the book. I'm not fixing the various typos, apologies (I have to get some drawing done tonight and try to get some sleep because tomorrow is therapy day, and my appointment time has been changed from 5 P.M to 1 p.m., and I usually get up around 3 p.m., so I'm not adjusting all that well on Mondays. So ends the therapy portion of tonight's post). If I had to pay a buck for every hyphen and/or dash missing in here I'd be on the streets tomorrow. Enjoy!

LAST IMP STANDING -- THE ULTIMATE DC IMPLOSION!

An Elseworlds One-Shot comic book proposal by Evan Dorkin, age 5

WHAT THE HELL IS LAST IMP STANDING?

 LAST IMP STANDING is an epic trashing of the DC universe at the hands of those beloved/despised super-pests Mr. Mxyzptlyk and Batmite. Yes, Batmite. The little potbellied guy in the ill-fitting Batsuit. Now before anyone gets bent out of shape, relax -- it's an Elseworld's book and no one with Batmite-phobia need flip out. Repeat after me -- it's only a comic book. It doesn't really happen. Everything will be fine in the end, trust me. 

THE  JOKE

The basic premise and plot of LAST IMP STANDING, i.e. High Concept #1,  goes something like this:

In a silver-age era Metropolis setting, Superman, Batman and Robin have just rounded up the Joker and Luthor when Mr Mxyzptlk and Batmite show up. Mxy is on hand to cause trouble, while the Mite wants to see his heroes Batman and Robin do "spectacular stunts". Unfortunately, this means using their extra-dimensional powers to give the super-criminals the upper hand. As if that isn't trouble enough, the extra-dimensional pests get into a heated argument which turns into a fight. When Batman steps in to calm things down, Mxy blasts him in a fit of pique -- accidentally killing him. 

In retaliation, an enraged Batmite kills Superman. 

A livid Mxy then kills Robin. 

The Joker and Luthor, celebrating the end of the World's Finest, are angrily dispatched by both angry imps. Mxy and the Mite then square off, but they are interrupted by an attack by the rest of the DC heroes, the armed forces, and even some villains. Alas, no one can stop the out of control imps, who magically wipe out the beloved cast of the DC silver age easy as pie. Eventually the two feuding super-pests end up destroying the Earth with their god-like powers, despite the attempts of the Spectre to stop them from hitting each other with the planet. 

They then obliterate the entire universe. 

With nowhere else to go, Batmite leads the apoplectic Mxy on an inter-dimensional chase -- hopping through various DC universes/eras, and destroying each in the process. (They also hop through mirror universes, pocket dimensions, negative universes -- leaving no SF cliche unturned, or unabused. Mxy even destroys his own 5th Dimension so Batmite's attempts to get him to say his name backwards are rendered moot.)

Finally, unable to destroy Batmite, Mxy obliterates "everything". He collapses all the dimensional realities into one tight mass of destructive energy which he attempts to hurl at Batmite (creating nothing but a white void around them). Batmite nonchalantly trips him with a banana peel and Mxy is charbroiled by the ball of reality.  Mxy, smoldering, silently staggers over to Batmite, looing for all the world as if he's going to throttle him with his bare hands. But instead, he starts to giggle. Then to laugh. And then Batmite starts to laugh. And they throw their arms around each other and slap each other's backs and roll on the ground until tears are in their eyes. "Oh man, that was great!" shouts Mxy. "The best yet!" says Batmite, wiping his eyes. "Same time next Tuesday?" asks Mxy, as he starts to fade. "You're on!" replies Batmite, who similarly fades away. As the laughing imps disappear and pop out of the picture, the silver age scene from the opening of the book fades back into "reality". Everything is back to the way it was before they arrived -- although Superman is a bit unnerved for some inexplicabel reason as he helps a smiling Batman and Robin take the Joker and Luthor to Silver Age prison.

The end.  

TELLING THE JOKE

(i.e. High Concept #2)

When LAST IMP STANDING starts, the book's look and feel is more or less that of the 50's/60's silver age DC comics that were the heydey of characters like Batmite, Mxy, Batwoman and the like. Clean art, big props, square jaws and smiling faces, the works. I want to kick the book off in the silver age because this was where the imp characters flourished -- and because the spectacle of seeing square-jawed straightlaced smiling silver age heroes magically offed in funny ways by two tantrun-throwing babies that have the power of God is something I think people would pay to see. I know I would.

Anyway, during the final chase, each time the imps enter a new dimension, it would be depicted as an alternate DC universe -- meaning the animated DCU universe, the 70's era, the 80's Crisis era, the modern era, the Legion's future, etc etc -- ultimately ending in a punchline sequence set in the Kingdome Come universe. The look of the book would change to perfectly evoke each DC era, with different artists working on each short segment. The looks of Mxy and Batmite would change throughout the book as well, something that they'd comment on and make jokes about. 

The breakdown as I see it at this stage of the game is this: 

One artist would handle the opening and closing Silver Age segments. Another artist would handle the sequences that do not take place in any specific era -- those sequences that occur after the silver age introduction and the sequences that do not take place in a specific DC era or universe. Other artists would handle sequences featuring the Animated DC Universe, the 80's Crisis era, the Modern DC age, the Legion Future, the Kingdom Come Universe, and whatever other "eras" ultimately end up in the final script. If I was allowed some amazing carte blanche, I would throw in the Amalgam universe, the 70's Superfriends Hanna- Barbera universe, and a "fumetti" live-action universe featuring the filmed versions of the DC heroes. I doubt we can legally or logistically work with these "eras", but the Superfriends one would be the easiest to look into using, and could be a very funny "cameo" sequence done in an Alex Toth style. 

If I were to pick "dream artists" for the project, I would want people like Dave Gibbons for the Silver Age wraparound segments, George Perez or Phil Jiminez for the Crisis era, Ty Templeton or Rich Burchett for the animated era, and of course Alex Ross for the brief  Kingdom Come sequence. While these are busy talents, my hope is that the project will seem attractive and fun to these people who seem to have an obvious love for DC comics -- and the short page counts they'd have to turn in wouldn't cramp their schedules too badly. Of course, these are first dream choices, and there are plenty of ways to go, although Alex Ross doing the Kingdom Come section is fairly imperative for that punchline to work (I will personally beg the man, in fact I'd even go so far as to kick in some of my own money, say, ten dollars, to acquire his services). Ultimately, the most important thing is to do with the art is to capture the right feel of each era. Having high-caliber guest artists would of course help to sweeten the deal.

SUMMING UP 

In LAST IMP STANDING we'd have a comic book with a solidly plotted main gag supported by a ton of other gags, all revolving around DC history and nostalgia. Alongside that we have an anti-nostalgia gag going as we obliterate all that DC history, making fun of modern comics epics in the process. Top that all off with the unique approach to bringing in guest artists, and you have a book that I think will sell well to retailers and to all sorts of fans -- fans of superheroes, humor books, the guest artists, specific DC eras/characters/styles, and the five or six people out there who read my stuff. 

THE HARD SELL

LAST IMP STANDING could be the most IMPortant, IMPressive and IMPractical epic superhero masterpiece that the comics world will ever see. 

If nothing else, it's so stupid, how could anybody not want to read it?

THE JOKE, IN DETAIL (i.e. The Full Plot)

In the 50's/60's silver age era, Superman, Batman and Robin have once again apprehended the villainous team of Lex Luthor and the Joker. As they tie them together and congratulate themselves on another job well done, the villains break their bonds and begin to grow to gigantic proportions! Oh no -- our heroes are in trouble! What has happened?! The source of this bizarre turnabout becomes apparent as Mr Mxyzptlk and Batmite pop up to do their patented pest/fanboy schtick. The two little guys get into a bit of a tiff like they did way back when -- and Mxy works up some magic to blast Batmite. But suddenly Batman steps in to settle the potentially dangerous spat -- and is accidentally killed by Mxyzptlk! A shocked Batmite throws a tantrum and kills Superman in retaliation. An apoplectic Mxy responds by blowing Robin up ("Holy unbelievable!" are the Boy Wonder's last words). Batmite then blows up the Joker like a balloon and pops him for laughing at the fate of Batman and Robin. Mxy shoots Luthor into space on a giant bottle rocket for gloating over the demise of the Man of Steel. 

Then things get out of hand.

In a series of whacked-out sight-gags and jokes, the two little pests proceed to wreck Metropolis, Gotham City and the other noted DC burgs as they hurl insults and magic blasts at one another. Mxy gets really mad when Batmite tries to get him to say his name backwards, he really hates that bit like crazy and refuses to fall for it. The DC pantheon of heroes and heroines arrives to stop the mayhem, but alas, with the minds of spoiled children and the powers of deities, the two imps drop all those beloved iconic heroes like flies. Readers will gasp in shock and bemusement as Green Lantern, Flash, Wonder Woman and all the silver age superheroes and sidekicks and supervillains and superteams and armies and navies and air forces are wasted by two goofy little schmucks in silly costumes. Even Ace the Bat Hound is no match for the pissed off superpixies. Eventually, Batmite and Mxy get real, real big and bust up the Earth but good, first manipulating oceans and mountains against one another, and then struggling to crack the Earth itself over one another's head like in that old Spectre comic. And yeah, they off the Spectre, too, when he tries to get the boys to put down the planet. As Luthor whizzes by on his rocket (very much dead) Batmite and Mxy break the Earth into cosmic debris. With the Earth gone -- and Batmite unable to get Mxy to say his name backwards -- they use the universe themselves in their bratty battle. Comets, meteors, planets (like Rann and Thanagar), suns and whole galaxies are manipulated and wiped out as the two goofballs insult each others looks, intelligence, costume choices and height problems. Finally, the universe is utterly destroyed.

Then things really get out of hand.

With the universe gone, the increasingly infuriated Mxyzptlk chases the bratty Batmite into the Phantom Zone, which they destroy. Then Batmite tries to hide in the future. The future fares no better than the past as the Legion Of Superheroes and Legion of Super Pets are obliterated along with their universe. We get some paradox/time travel gags as they shouldn't have been there if the past was destroyed and all that hoo-hah, it really hurts everyone's heads when they think about it. So they try not to think about it.

Exasperated, Batmite tries every trick in the DC Handbook to get the maddened Mxy to say his name backwards and return to his home, the Fifth Dimension. Mxy gets really riled as he ignores the dopey attempts ("I'll give you a dollar" and "I'll be your friend" being two of the less inspired ploys) until he finally flips out and destroys the Fifth Dimension. Now Mxy can shout his name backwards all he wants as he chases the Mite --there's no place for him to be banished to.  

Mxyzptlk follows Batmite as he tries to lose him in a series of other dimensions -- all of which are alternate DC universes primed for imp destruction. They go through a universe that is the 70's DC era (including Kirby's Fourth World), the 80's Crisis era (just as the heroes finally defeat the Monitor and save the universe, the imps appear and wipe everything out like THAT), the modern day/Vertigo era (the imps don't recognize anyone), and the DCU animated  universe.  -- all of which the pair obliterates along with each universe's heroes and gimmicks. They also race through various alternate DC futures,  destroying the Legion, Omac, Kamandi etc. in a few gag panels worth of destruction. Along with these dimensions and eras we get some SF side-gags as Batmite hides in a microscopic universe, a pocket universe, a mirror universe (for a brief Lady From Shanghai bit featuring hundreds of imps), and a black and white reversed dimension where Mxy asks the sulky inhabitants if they've seen "a fat little dopey guy in a cheap secondhand bat suit go by". They all respond "no", "nope" and "nuh-uh". "Man I hate negative universes" quips Mxy as he obliterates everything and takes off after Batmite. 

In the end, Mxy is fed up with other dimensions and universes, his continually changing appearance and especially Batmite. Exhausted and at wit's end Mxy enters a new dimension, looks down at himself and loses all control when he sees himself  painted realistically. "Oh no", he says, seething, "This is it. The last straw --"  

The imp freaks out and and screams "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH" -- as the Kingdom Come cast and universe is wiped out from the force of his outburst in a two-page doublespread.

Huffing and puffing like madmen, Mxyzptlk and Batmite face one another in what appears to be a last stand. In a final burst of anger, Mxy collapses the fabric of reality into one concentrated mass, sucking all the realities into one crackling ball of energy held aloft in his hand. There is nothing left but Batmite, Mxyzptlk and the ball, reality is gone -- leaving nothing but a white void around them. Well, there is one other thing -- the banana. Which Batmite has taken out of his sloppy utility belt. He eats the banana as Mxy rants about his rival's various shortcomings. He tosses the peel towards Mxyzptlk as he finishes his speech. Mxy trips on the peel and the ball of reality impacts on him and erupts, charring him like he's in a cartoon. 

Mxy silently staggers over to Batmite, looing for all the world as if he's going to throttle him with his bare hands. But instead, he starts to giggle. Then to laugh. And then Batmite starts to laugh. And they throw their arms around each other and slap each other's backs and roll on the ground until tears are in their eyes. "Oh man, that was great!" shouts Mxy. "The best yet!" says Batmite, wiping his eyes. "Same time next Tuesday?" asks Mxy, as he starts to fade. "You're on!" replies Batmite, who similarly fades away. As the laughing imps disappear and pop out of the picture, the silver age scene from the opening of the book fades back into "reality". A slightly confused Superman and Batman look about as Robin watches in concern. 

"I just had the strangest feeling...", says Superman. "Me too --", replies Batman, "-- I can't describe it. It's as if everything we know is wrong". "Yes, as if some great, cosmic joke was being played...on us!" exclaims Superman. Robin frowns at his companions and says, " I don't know what you guys are talking about...but it's giving me the heebie-jeebies!" Batman smiles as he chalks it up to one whiff too many of the Joker's knockout gas. And with that they all happily fly off into the distance with their captives in tow.

As impish laughter fills the air.

The end.