METAL MANIA #1 Script Sample And Thoughts (2004)

Some of you may have followed a few threads on Twitter recently about the 2004 Metal Men series I was writing for DC, which would have been penciled by Mike Allred. It was a six-issue series edited by Bob Schreck, canceled by incoming EIC Dan Didio while while I was finishing up issue #3. Although we were behind on our schedule, the reason we were canceled was that the series was apparently considered "too goofy" by Didio. Projects approved by the previous regime are often impacted as the new powers-that-be assert their right to wipe out everything done by the old team, hire their friends to replace the freelancers the previous editors were friends with, and push their own fan-fueled agenda while largely ignoring the desires of the readership (or even the desires of the fabled "new audience" that gets talked about). 

It was our bad luck that the new editor-in-chief's favorite DC characters were...The Metal Men. And of course our version didn't jibe with his vision of their future...a future where the Metal Men were not much like the characters he supposedly loves. In the past, comics publishers tried to use everything they ever paid for, in these more modern times, DC was fine with eating two scripts and an issue of pencils -- and I would bet this wasn't an isolated incident. Since previous publishing mishaps cost DC hundreds of thousands of dollars (the League of Extraordinary Gentleman fake ad flap, the Amalgam real ad screw-up, the Kyle Baker Superbaby panic that pulped most of an Elseworlds special) I can only assume this was a drop in the parent company's bucket. More reasons DC never wanted to be noticed, but that's a different story, and I don't care about it enough to write about it. Comics is nutty, when we aren't getting beat up on by outside forces, we trip over our own feet plenty enough on our own. Ball-walkin' Batman, anyone?).

The Metal Men series was the only comics job I've ever had pulled out from under me in a thirty-year career (34, technically). I was bummed about all the wasted energy I put into setting the pitch up, I was bummed the scripts wouldn't be used and the story wouldn't be told I was especially bummed that we were out about ten grand when this was a main job and Sarah was pregnant. But what pissed me off was Didio not responding to my e-mails about the cancellation. This after he ghosted me years earlier when we were asked to write a pitch bible for a mutual friend whose project was being developed at Mainframe Entertainment. I heard years from a childhood friend (not the person whose bible we were asked to do) later that this was a Didio hallmark -- avoiding conflict and dealing with unpleasant things. Sadly, this is a quality I share, which is why I'm not a candidate to ever be the Editor in Chief of an 8-page fanzine, let alone a publishing company. This social avoidance didn't extend to yelling at interns (according to a former intern), but I guess that wasn't unpleasant. Comics is nutty.

If I seem bitter it's because it still burns. It encapsulates so many things wrong with comics, publishing, editorial, business, bosses, people, freelancing, life. I never questioned the right to can the series, not even when I tried to save the project, and I've lost money before and after this happened. But I really hate being ghosted. It's happened several times in my career, twice with that guy, and also with editors at IDW, BOOM and Archie, to name a few other publishers. Don't waste people's time. Show a modicum of respect for a person even if you're lowering the boom (no pun intended). Just tell the freelancer "sorry, it's not happening" so everyone can move on. That's it. Look, I couldn't fire the worst worker we had at the comic shop I was a manager at -- and I didn't even like the guy. I had someone else do it. That's why I'm someone who people can fire, rather than someone who fires people. 

Well, as usual, this  introduction went off on a tangent. A reason I'm also not someone who writes book introductions all that often (I'm late on one now!) 

Up top is a layout I did to supplement the script for Mike Allred. It wasn't law, but he decided to use it. After the series was shut down he asked me if he could re-purpose it for an issue of Madman. It's apparently in an issue, he didn't send me one so I don't know where it ran (or if he credited me anywhere). I would've offered someone a small layout check (hoping the offer was refused) or some free comics (sent media mail, cheap as possible) or something as a thanks. I'm uptight about some things, I guess.

Below are the first six script pages of Metal Mania #1. I enjoyed writing these and goofy or not, I like what I did. I was going to reunite Tin and Nameless, explore Magnus' childhood and parental issues, try to make Gold less boring, wean Platinum off her Kanigher-creepy student-teacher -daughter-dad infatuation with Doc (and her stereotypical personality traits in general), and cameo a lot of DC robot characters from across the DCU (Robot Man, Mr. Atom, Amazo, Metallo, Chemo, etc) and introduce a team made up of previous failed experiments who were originally meant to have been the Metal Men. Would have been cool, but remember kids -- you are let into the playground, and you can be asked to leave. Eventually, you will be asked to leave. It's their playground, not yours, not the caretakers. That's why it's good to build your own playground.

Hope you enjoy this look at the first script. Things aren't exactly what they seem, although these things are possible. Which things, I can't tell you. Just remember -- this isn't an imaginary story, or a dream, or a hoax. It's not a story at all.

PAGE ONE    
 

PANEL ONE  We open with a thin panel across the top of the page. Tight on GOLD’S FOREHEAD, the element symbol on his head taking up most of the shot.     

LETTERING NOTE: All caption text in this sequence should be rendered in a computer-style font within stylized captions.   
 

1) CAPTION: Status update: Beginning final recovery phase.
 

PANEL TWO Pull back to reveal GOLD’S DISEMBODIED HEAD in the grip of two mechanical arms, eyes closed, expressionless. A cable is attached to the top of his head by a suction-like clamp. All-black BG.
 

2) CAPTION: Final cranial connect underway (Au).
 

PANEL THREE  Pull back further, overhead shot revealing GOLD on a table in the SECRET RECOVERY ROOM. The lifeless bodies of his fellow METAL MEN – IRON, MERCURY, LEAD, PLATINUM and TIN -- all lie on similar tables in a circle. Gold’s head is being attached to his body by the mech-arms, maybe there’s some welding going on, sparks, etc. Similar arms are finishing work on the other robots and rising towards the ceiling. It’s okay to obscure the MM somewhat here, but show Gold clearly.
 For the basic layout of the lab, see SHOWCASE #40, PAGE 6, PANEL 4. I’d like to punch up that simple design with a cooler, more detailed look that will still go with the retro-future look of Magnus’ facility -- a robot emergency room by way of a Detroit auto plant, eerily lit by emergency back-up lights. Instead of gurneys the MM lie on more complex, hi-tech, recovery tables, tilted up slightly, the robots set partially into them as if in a mold. The tables are wired to a central machine in the middle, by their heads. A similar unit is on the ceiling above, anchoring most of the automated arms and wiring. Keep the round room, but lose the window and add some computer terminals, view screens (featuring computer text from the captions), etc in the BG. There are no visible exits in the room.   
 

3) CAPTION: Final cranial connect complete (Au).    

4) CAPTION: Downloading core memory.   

5) CAPTION: Activating Repro-Responsometers:
 

PANELS FOUR-NINE Don’t panic, this will only take up the space of one decent-sized panel across the page. Referencing the splash page roll call in the old MM comics, each small sequential panel features the head of one of the Metal Men, in order: GOLD, IRON, MERCURY, LEAD, PLATINUM and TIN. Over the course of the six panels the MM awaken as if we’re following one continuous face, starting with a “sleeping” Gold, then a slowly stirring Iron and Mercury, a yawning Lead, Platinum with half-lidded eyes, and finally, a fully awakened Tin, eyes wide open.   
 

6) CAPTION: Gold 

7) CAPTION: Iron 

8) CAPTION: Mercury 

9) CAPTION: Platinum 

10) CAPTION: Lead 

11) CAPTION: Tin  Below Panels 4-9 is a final caption:
 

12) CAPTION: All systems reactivated. Recovery successful.  

PAGE TWO
 

PANEL ONE SPLASH PAGE group shot of the METAL MEN, posing before the recovery tables, a happy little robot family coming out of their traditional Saturday night coma. GOLD stands cheerfully with his hands on his hips. IRON flexes a bicep, examining it appreciatively. A still sleepy LEAD looks confused as he yawns and stretches. MERCURY literally stretches all over the place, his fluid body weaving around everyone, head arcing towards TIN to needle the nervous little robot. PLATINUM stands between them, admonishing Mercury like a big sister. Perhaps pulling on his ear or giving him a noogie or something.   
 

1) CAPTION: Welcome back –   

2) LOGO CAPTION: METAL MEN   

3) GOLD: Rise and shine, gang! We’re back in business!   

4) IRON: Guess we got killed saving the world again. Anybody remember how we died this time? 

5) LEAD: -Yawwn - Blown up, probably. Gosh, I hate blowing up… 

6) MERCURY: Bet your weight in bolts Tin blew up first!     

7) PLATINUM: What does it matter, as long as we’re all back together again, good as new!   8) TIN: Y-yeah! G-good thing Doc Magnus is always able to resurrect us! R-right, Doc?
 

CREDITS AND STUFF –    
 

PAGE THREE
 

The Metal Men panic slightly as they realize they’re alone in an unfamiliar place. Of all the MM, only Gold remains completely calm.
 

1) TIN: Doc?   

2) PLATINUM: That’s funny…where is he? 

3) MERCURY: Where is he? Where are we? This isn’t the regular recovery room!
 

PANEL TWO Focus on Gold attempting to work the main computer console while the others look on in a state of confusion. On the wall above the computer terminal is a large, darkened telescreen.   
 

4) GOLD: Not only that, but Central Control’s down. No juice. 

5) TIN: B-but, if Doc didn’t revive us, and the auto-lab didn’t -- then who d-did?   

6) GOLD: Hmm. Maybe the Controlbot?   

PANEL THREE A frowning Mercury uses an elongated finger to write the words “WASH ME” in the dust on the telescreen. Platinum starts to really panic.
 

7) MERCURY: He must be down, too. The Servotrons haven’t cleaned here in ages.    

8) PLATINUM: That clinches it! Doc wouldn’t let that happen unless he was in trouble! He hates dirt worse than communism!    
 

PANEL FOUR The MM spread out and search the sealed room for a way out. Lead literally stretches himself out, bumping into Mercury.
 

9) GOLD: Don’t worry, Tina. We’ll find Doc, and some answers to this riddle. Everyone, spread out and look for an exit -- 

10) MERCURY: -Oof -! Not like that, you lunkhead!    

11) TIN: Gee, I don’t s-see an exit anywhere --
 

PANEL FIVE Iron cheerfully punches a large section of wall out with a giant fist, startling the others and barely missing a wriggling Mercury.
 

12) IRON: I do.   

13) MERCURY: Yeeowwww!    

SFX: B-KROOM   

PANEL SIX We’re outside the lab in a winding corridor lined with riveted steel plates and lit by dim emergency lights, the architecture in keeping with the look of the Magnus labs. Iron takes the lead, as the MM walk through the hallway, ignoring a boiling-mad Mercury. Tin lags behind the others, lost in thought as he looks back towards the lab.   
 

14) MERCURY: You cast-iron clod! Must you solve everything with your fists?    

15) IRON: Keep talking, buster. You’ll find out.   

16) GOLD: Can it, you two --   

SFX (Mercury’s steam) SSSSSS
 

PAGE FOUR      

PANEL ONE On Tin, noticing that one of the steel corridor plates is slightly ajar, like a hidden door, revealing a sliver of darkness beyond. In the BG the others continue down the hall in the distance. LETTERING NOTE: Maybe Gold’s dialogue is slightly smaller, “fading” in the distance.    
 

1) GOLD: I don’t recognize this part of the facility, so let’s keep our eyes peeled for anything unusual --

2) TIN: H-huh --?    
 

PANEL TWO   Reverse angle, from inside the darkened ROBOT VAULT. In the BG, Tin peers nervously inside, sticking his head and body partway through the slim opening. The dim corridor light allows us to see only a hint of DRAPED FIGURES inside the dark room, like a closed department store full of covered mannequins. We’ll be revealing the Vault robots/secrets later on, so let’s make this as moody and mysterious as possible.    
 

3) TIN: Um, hello? Anybody in th-there --?
 

PANEL THREE Back out in the corridor. The MM are ascending a staircase they’ve discovered. Mercury hangs back, stretching to yell down the corridor at Tin in the distance, startling the little robot.
 

4) MERCURY: Hey, widget! Hurry up! You’re slower than a Commodore 64!   

5) TIN: B-b-but –   

6) MERCURY: Just get your butt in gear! We’re ditching this funhouse!     
 

PANEL FOUR Panels 4-6 run across the bottom of the page, the panels roughly the same size. In panel four we’re in fairly close on a patch of rough, weed-strewn ground. LETTERING NOTE – not sure if the balloons would work better emanating from the ground or tail-less. Either/or, obv.   
 

7) LEAD (OP): See? I, uh, found a door…    

8) MERCURY (OP): Well, open it, nano-brain!   

9) PLATINUM (OP): Eeeeek!    

SFX (from below ground): THUMP BDUNK   
 

PANEL FIVE Same shot. A section of the ground opens up, a trap door camouflaged to resemble the surroundings. Lead has opened the door, his head and wide shoulders wedged into the opening. We can see only the grasping hands and the tops of the heads of some of the MM trying to squeeze past him.    
 

10) IRON: Oops! Sorry, Tina, I thought that was Tin’s head –   

11) MERCURY: Whoever –uff- let Lead go first oughta have his –nngh- head defragged -- 

SFX (from below) CLUNK POING KTANG   
 

PANEL SIX Same shot. The heads of the Metal Men have shoved, squeezed or stretched around Lead and through the opening. They all stare straight towards us, stunned by what they see off-panel.     
 

12) MERCURY: Oh…    

13) PLATINUM: Oh, no -- 

14) TIN (smaller): It can’t be -- 

PAGE FIVE
 

PANEL ONE   A big, panoramic wide shot, high above and behind the Metal Men standing before the ruins of what was once Doc Magnus’s huge laboratory complex. The remains of a MAGNUS INDUSTRIES sign can be seen in the piles of wreckage, as well as the shattered hull of the Metal Men’s JETAWAY ROCKET DISC vehicle. The devastation continues as far as the eye can see, the Washington D.C. outskirts are in ruins, charred husks of vehicles and buildings, city and government landmarks demolished in the distance (game logic geography). The sky is filled with dark, ominous clouds choked with pollution.    
 

1) TIN (smaller): I-it just can’t be…    
 

PANEL TWO On the Metal Men as they react in shock and disbelief to the destruction all around them.
 

2) PLATINUM: The lab…everything…it’s all gone…

3) TIN: This can’t be real! It’s a g-glitch…some kind of bad dream – 

4) MERCURY: Too bad robots don’t dream. It’s real all right. 

5) MERCURY: We slept while the world ended.       

PAGE SIX
 

PANEL ONE The MM explore the debris around the Rocket Disc, Gold checking the disc’s husk, Mercury stretching his neck to survey the area. Platinum is on her knees, picking something up. In the FG Iron holds up the battered head and torso of THE CONTROLBOT, the physical avatar of the Magnus facility’s central control computer (We’ll be seeing more of him later, so keep that in mind when designing him). When and if possible during this sequence, try to throw some pop culture/materialistic crap into the wreckage scenes, SUVs, big televisions, vending machines, Doritos bags, etc. The remains of 21st century human society and culture.      

1) GOLD: Well, the Jetaway’s a goner…   

2) IRON: I found the Controlbot, or what’s left of him. Poor guy’s scrap city –
 

PANEL TWO A distraught Platinum holds up a tobacco pipe for the others to see. The chunky pipe is made of platinum and adorned with pink hearts and bolts. It looks like a child made it.   
 

3) PLATINUM: Look! It’s Doc’s pipe! The one I made him for Valentine’s Day! He h-ha-hated this p-pipe –   
 

PANEL THREE A sobbing Platinum literally wraps her arms around the others in a wiry embrace, crushing them together and squeezing the life out of poor Tin. Her head rests on Iron’s chest, clearly making him uncomfortable. Room for dialogue above the fray.
 

4) PLATINUM: Ohhh, Doc, why did you leave meeeee --? Boo-hoo-hooooo --! 

5) TIN: D-don’t cry, Tina! Doc saved us, he could’ve saved himself!
 

PANEL FOUR As a sniffling Platinum releases her despondent teammates, Gold tries to rally them like a coach giving his losing team a pep talk.   
 

6) PLATINUM (small): -snif- I guess you’re right… 

7) GOLD: Look, folks, let’s take a deep reset and try to stay positive here – 

8) MERCURY: What’s there to be positive about? Okay, no more American Idol. Then what?
 

PANEL FIVE  Mercury explodes at Gold, maybe he points to the wasteland or throws debris in the air to emphasize his point. Tin isn’t paying any attention to the outburst; he’s fixated on something off-panel.    
 

9) GOLD: Well, we search for survivors, help pick up the pieces -- 

10) MERCURY: Pick up the pieces? Are you damaged? Have you seen how many pieces there are out there? Even the pieces are in pieces!    
 

PANEL SIX   Smaller panel. Focus on Tin in the immediate FG, staring and pointing off-panel and drawing the confused attention of the others in the BG.       
 

11) TIN: Um, e-excuse me…but did any of you just see that tree stump move?