Monster Hunters screenplay first draft (txt attachment)
Added 2023-06-15 04:49:48 +0000 UTCsry for going quiet mode during the writing phase,
i kno the whole point of this is to be transparent and share all my wips as im going along but i feel like Writing Wips are a lot less interesting and enjoyable than Art Wips because at least with art wips u get to see huge titty
((i think in future ill be more comfortable sharing my writing process as im going along but jumping right into it and coming up with my first screenplay since forever in just a couple of days has had me going aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA))
but keeping that in mind,, I DID IT! and ✨ive attached a first draft✨
i kinda want to simplify the middle chunk MAJORLY somehow, i think its cool that its this whole ass story n stuff but i think tonally i want the content we make here to be a bit dummer and funner so preferably when we make the animatic we can re-approach this in an even goofier way
i also want to keep the whole thing under 5 minutes and im worried that this script might be going over that,, potentially we could break this animation in two parts but id rather be able to just finish this one so we can move onto more new fun spicy content 💖
anyway give it a cheeky read if u so wish, there will be sketches for the storybeats soon and some cheeky votes for how we approach things,, generally based around that funny script
Comments
i have thoughts but i don't wanna cause more of a fuss so I'll keep em to myself and accept that this story just isn't my thing and hope future ones are. you can't please everyone every time which is ok so feel free to ignore my ramblings
JM
2023-06-15 19:31:55 +0000 UTChorse ragdolls into the ground making source engine cardboard impact noises
Samuel
2023-06-15 16:25:57 +0000 UTCI feel like the breakdown in understanding is you're seeing MH's interest in her as a 2 way relationship. They arent dating and outside of partying up she just isnt into the dwarf like that it seems. From jump they sound like they've only been together a short while, and she gets felt up by both with an equally apathetic reaction till one of them makes it uncomfortable by trying to jump to sex. I don't think we're supposed to really feel anything negative about the hunter. He hunts snd sells monster parts to the guild (who im sure just put the monsters in a nice farm upstate) and she wanted to keep the imp alive, so she left. The prudish elf and the vulgar dwarf is a common trope so I get the mild friction. It's not hypocritical to pick and choose who can feel you up, and the hunter seemed to drop the issue once he got turned down so I dont see the problem?
Bman1621
2023-06-15 08:47:06 +0000 UTCthe text didn't say anything about a black market?? Besides being talkative and lecherous the dwarf didn't seem like a bad dude he seemed to care for the priestess like a pervy shounen protagonist would. He was creeping on her which is fair reason to not like him, but she lets the imp they just met and know nothing about molest her all it wants? She leaves her partner she seems to know for a long time for this creature they know nothing about cuz it fucks her real good? So she's stupidly naive and also a hypocrite. I can see the hilarity, I just... i know i'm thinking too hard about it and getting worked up over nothing when it's just lighthearted smut, but i can't stop thinking about them. Sorry for the analytical essay on the worldbuilding of this silly smut story... The one thing I recommend, make the dwarf more clearly evil so we don't feel bad for him and so the priestess is justified for disliking him.
JM
2023-06-15 08:23:10 +0000 UTCthank u!! 💖
2023-06-15 06:29:40 +0000 UTCaw sry it not to ur taste,, ((not that im sure specifically whos expense ur talking about, is it that the dwarf doesnt get to sell the imps body parts on the black market?))
2023-06-15 06:29:22 +0000 UTCI hope I put it in the right place but I posted it. Sorry its so long lol
Bman1621
2023-06-15 06:26:34 +0000 UTCyes plz would love 2 hear feed back very much!! 💖
2023-06-15 06:24:44 +0000 UTCGreat work m8 :)
Cheezydudzie
2023-06-15 06:01:57 +0000 UTC:I i know it's just played for laughs, but i'm still not a huge fan of this kind of humor at the expense of someone else. I feel like I'm reading one of those episodes of Tom & Jerry where Tom can't catch a break
JM
2023-06-15 05:32:06 +0000 UTCGreat stuff so far boss! I can see it all coming together pretty well! It's cool if I share feedback on the discord, yeah?
Bman1621
2023-06-15 05:31:45 +0000 UTC
